FIREPLACE MENTAL – $900
Mufogany hand crafted//6fitt long/ call xxx xxxxxxx/ You need to let me know if you want finish with gold.or rusty of wheght/ I,m artist and designer/
Yes. Yes, that fireplace is definitely mental.
What do you think that picture is in the center? To me, it looks like a monarch butterfly riding Eeyore riding a lime. That’s one hell of a Rorschach test.
Thanks, Diane!
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A six foot long muf? Sounds scary!
It’s actually 6fitt, which I believe means, you got to find 6 very muscular people to stand next to it.
It’s a painting of Napoleon but I prefer your interpretation.
Here, Tamzin, you dropped these:
[corey] [/corey]
You mean Napolian? Or maybe Naplonene?
Holy cats, it IS the same painting.
Recursive Craigslist is the name of my Alan Parsons Project cover band.
That’s what she said…
No it’s not! She was never mufoganous – she cheated on me all the time!
Maybe you couldn’t give her a mufogasm…
There’s never been any problem with my wood.
O hai, corner!
Just the knothole.
Holy shmokes, guys! It takes a lot to make me blush. Generally a lot of Revlon.
I think it is a fireplace mental because it only exists if you think it does. Also it took me far too many minutes to figure out Sparky meant mantle.
René Desparkies
I think I’m an artist therefore I’m mental.
Mental huh? Now there’s a challenge I’ve never risen to.
Man, “the Mick” gets no respect at all . . .
I’m a Red Sox fan, I’m contractually obligated to hate.
FIFY.
In the village of Wheght
An artist claimed to have a long 6 fitt
The designer’s name was Rusty
Who liked to hand craft his mufogany
Call xxx xxxxxxx to get a mental image
Of how you would like him to finish
I’ll be in the corner.
I prefer hikeroy over mufogany when it comes to wooden mentals.
Really? I’m a big fan of Cheery, myself.
I’m sitting here trying to figure out how mahogany can get rusty.
And what the heck rusty of wheght means… rusty of weight? Rusty off-white? Frosted wheat?
Don’t hurt yourself, Silva. You could be over-thinking this. Unlike Sparks.
[corey] I think he means a finish (you know, them parts what is kinda yeller right now) in gold, rust or wheat (as in color), but I could be over thinking it too…[/corey]
Holy shmokes again! Could he mean “off white”? Could anyone be that off?
Blech.
Oke is easier to spell.
Well, iffin yur painten anyweys, u otta use piynne, thogh popular* is gud 2.
[corey]
If all one is going to do is have a paint finish, the best materials mix for fireplace mantels is a mix of MDF (medium density fiberboard), HDF (high density fiberboard) , and MDO (medium density overlay) plywood. Those products have no surface grain, hold sharp edges when cut and/or moulded, and have no end-grain issues at all. They are also ‘responsible’ products which use pulp-grade lumber.
That latter is very important as there is a great deal of shenanigans in tropical hardwoods, especially those labeled as “mahogany” with dubious substitutions and spurious “responsible harvest” documentation.
Which brings me to my first, most irksome, point–painting over mahogany is a similar sin as painting over clear redwood (and, painting over real, Asian, Mahogany ranks up there with painting over Sequoia heartwood as a sin).
[/corey-rant]
_________________________________________
*The use of “popular” to refer to “Poplar” (aka Tulipwood, if imprecisely) is so common, that it is near to being like “porche” or “thru” or the like, as a distinction almost without difference.
My dad’s family is in Poplar Bluff, MO. I always thought they had mispelled the name of the town. 8/
Are you more popular if you go in the buff?
I’m pretty sure mufogany is illegal in most of the 50 states, plus Guam and Puerto Rico.
Whoa, look at that mental. That’s one woody mufo right there!
I you’re in mufogany, you’re doing it wrong.
I,m artist too! How mental!
I’d much rather live under the color of sky in your world, Silva, than under the wheght one in Spark’s.
For some reason I’m imagining a jousting tournament in the kingdom of Mufogany, with Sir Rusty of Wheght battling the Knight of Finish with Gold.
But soffit, what light through yonder mental breaks?
It is the rust, and mufogany is the pun.
Arise fire, burn, and kill the hideous thing,
We are already sick of pale gold leaf
That thou handmade, “art” far more err than wheght.
Forsooth, in what Architectural Salvage Shop
Doth ye defame?
In obvious sin base, in sin disclaim?
Lo, for it is not the East that so dawn
But sou’ end of mule you propoun’
Let Capulet and Montague unite,
To blot this stain from Sight,
That no more will loon
Upon us moon.
[exeunt]
I’m nearly sure that if you put this over your fireplace and actually lit a fire in the fireplace, you would only have mental memories of the mufogany.
I’d wondered whatever happened to John Edwards. Apparently he’s been getting mental with the mufogany…again.
Sparky went to the trouble of getting mahogany, and then covered it with white paint. *facepalm* The value went down sharply with the first layer of primer. And the gold leaf looks pretty half-assed, too. It needs to be consistent, not just on one end. I’m guessing the “rusty of wheght” is an attempt at rust and off-white, but even without the spelling mistakes this particular Sparky is obviously not the brightest crayon in the box. And do all Sparkies use Internet Explorer, or do they just ignore the spell check lines under everything?
Yes.
Uh-huh…oooh…lookit the purdy red squigglies!
I can’t believe there are no related posts! What about. . . uh, give me a moment. This is just like. . . Okay, I’ll get back to you on this.
Mufogany is IF’s Chumbawumba mock band.
Ack! That’s as bad an earworm as the Chiffons had been–
It burns! it burns!
Like pudding, it burns!
“I,m artist and designer”
No way! I had you pegged as an English major.
This artist has taken to much artistic license with the spelling.
Too much paint thinner, methinks.
I am not clever with all functions on my PC. But please, people! Crop, rotate, and eliminate superfluous crap in the photos.
*Snicker*
There are some really good products you can get to help with that.
Mostly on prescription.
Yes. Please Miralax your pictures. Or a nice magnesium citrate purge.
Ahh! Mufogany!! I tripped and hit it against that rusty mental!
Dang manky mufogany mantle.
If it’d been mufoganankle I wouldn’t have been upset. Hell, even mufoganelbow would’ve been less painful.
[box aside]
I really feel that Al Jean and David Mirkin deserve more credit, all I did was append a topical sentence for comedic intent to their work.
[/aside]
Doesn’t matter, it was a Crowd-Pleasing Move and you deserve the day in the Box!
Capn, you may now leave the box and take those onions with you. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, mufogan snakes on this mufogan plane!