YSaC, Vol. 1166: And it’s right across the river from Rock Ibland!
2012 January 13
Lowered priceDABINPORT WITH DRAWS
VERY NICE AND HAS DRAWS AND MIRROW AND PLACE TO HANG $375.00 TEXTS ME ###.###.####
Cash today 300.00
Point 1: That’s not how you spell “Davenport.”
Point 2: Even if it WERE how you spelled “Davenport?” Not a Davenport.
Point 3: That’s an awfully specific amount of money to want to hang. What if I needed to hang $376.42? Would I have to buy another article of furniture in which to hang the last $1.42?
Point 4: Wait, is it $300 or $375? We can’t even seem to make up our mind within the same ad.
Point 5: IT TEXTS ME, IT DOES! GOLLUM GOLLUM!
Point 6: There is no point 6.
Point 7: Still not a Davenport.
Thanks for the post, Autumn!
Mirrow, mirrow on the wall,
Who’s the Sparkiest of them all?
When you’re sideways, you’re not tall,
Mirrow, mirrow on the wall.
DO A BARREL ROLL!
That’s my line.
I do never tire of looking at pictures of furniture on its side. Whenever I think I’m technologically inept, I take comfort in that I can crop. And rotate. Oh, and spell drawer. Can I put all that on a resume?
In this day and age, that’s instant hire material.
It says the “Dabinport” withdraws… but from where?
As the dabinport withdraws, the armory deposits.
Ewue!! I’m not cleaning that up!
Why haven’t I thought of this before? This isn’t YSaC worthy, it’s brilliance!
Suppose you’re lying in bed. You desperately need your $375 (or 300), but who can be bothered to actually stand up these days? Enter Dabinport with draws. Just roll right on over, and it’s as if you’re standing! It really does take multi-tasking to a new, lazier level. Well done!
I’m fascinated by how Sparky’s reflection changes in the mirrow. It draws me. I want to texts and hang $375! What’s come over me?
His reflection changes, and the crap to the side disappears. It’s like one of those games in the children’s magazines where you have to spot the differences in the pictures. Only much drearier. Much.
Spot the ten dibberences.
I believe that’s spelled dibbewences.
Fixed it for you, Muddy
Thank you kelli.
I take it that you used the Elmer Fudd New Engwish Dictionawy as a reference guide.
😀
To every dabinport (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a reason? (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a drawer for every purpose, under mirrow
A place to text, a place to hang
A place for a plant, a place to rant
A place for butter, a place for a meal
A place to draw, a place to has
Thank you for today’s earworm, Hammy 😀
It seems really pedantic to point this out when there is so much else wrong, but that’s not how you spell “drawers” either.
Or mirror. But those two misspellings are fairly normal on this site.
Don’t apologize, we love pedants!
It’s not so much that we love pedants, as that we can’t really make fun of pedants since we are engaging in the same activity.
Wait, was that pedantic?
Maybe we need a [pedantic] tag.
Isn’t Isaac supposed to show up when the word “pedant” is used 3 times in a thread?
Correct me if I’m wrong. He would.
Is it like that thing where if you say “Bloody Mary” three times, a witch jumps out of a mirror and steals your eyebrows?
“Eyebrows”?
I’d not call Archie a witch.
Not once; Not twice; Not Fiv-er, Thrice.
Not unless,
A: She weighed as much as a Mallard, but not so much as a Pekin.
B: Took all the vodkha before we could finish the B. Mary pitchers.
or
C: Induced pudding immolation.
I’ve been told my Bloody Marys are the best ever. Have to take their word for it as I do not drink them.
I once knew a girl who briefly had some really nice dimon pedant errings. Pedantically, I always wondered if that could be considered her dangling participial phase.
O HAI!
Where have you guys been?
Oh…so this must be where they found David Carradine.
What? Too soon?
😛
Full disclosure — I actually love this piece, and if I was anywhere near it Dan and I would be trying to cram it into our hybrid to bring it home. I don’t know that I would hang $300 for it, though.
That 3rd [draw] down is a little wonky.
Only when it’s laying on its side. As long as the Llama-Nun and Ostrimu (BBUT) aren’t trying to mount it on the wall it would probably be fine.
Some day, in a happy, wonderful, future, world, where draws hang free, this sort of presumption of pulchritude among Academics would not be allowed.
[Ow! Corner hurtz!]
You said “mount it.”
*snicker*
~~…corner…~~
I know, right? All I can think when I look at the pic is that I really like that dressing table to the left.
I’ll race you. My bedroom furniture at this point is a nightstand, bed and bookcase. It’s like sleeping in an empty warehouse.
Aw Smed…I figured it would be a wion, a witch, and a wawdwobe….
[synchronicity sidebar]
You say that, but, when foreclosure caused me to reduce 1400sf of furnishings into what would fit into an 8’x16’x10′ container, I kept the night-stands and end-tables, but eschewed the bed (>30 y/o), bedframe (>20 y/o), and also the couch (ca. 18 y/o) and wing-back recliner (19 y/o, and cat-shredded at arms & top).
I did keep the spiffy Arts-&-Crafts headboard for the bed, though (if as much for its ability to hold books in bookcases in the container as for its innate quality).
[/sidebar]
I really need a new place to hang, it’s near impossible to hang a 5’10” man in a room with 6′ ceilings. Though I’m not sure if the dabinport would be any better. Maybe I should just find shorter men.
As a youngster, I had two grandmothers that referred to their respective sofas as the “davenport” and the “chesterfield.” For my own edification, I checked Uncle Google and Second Cousin Once Removed Wiki and found out that Davenport was/is a brand of furniture from back East featuring (among other things) sofas, desks and armoires.
Could it be that seller Sparky is repeating what he/she heard elder Sparkies in the family when referring to this antique piece? Perhaps the elders were speaking without benefit of teeth or dentures thereby creating the “b” sound as opposed to the “v” sound. *nodding*
And Chesterfield is Canadian. Um hmm, I see.
Edit: coreys front and back.
Mom has something similar to this in her sewing room, the shelf where the “mirrow” is on this one is actually a small cabinet with a mirrored door on hers, we’ve always called it a chifferobe. Mom’s is covered with about a dozen coats of paint, though – Granpa was of the “Why clean what I can just repaint?” school of housekeeping.
The only time I can recall coming across the word chifferobe, was while reading To Kill a Mockingbird.
Am I safe to assume it’s a Southern thing?
I’ve never thought about it, but it looks like it is. According to Cousin Wiki, the term is also used in Puerto Rico and Cuba of all places. Weird.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chifferobe
Among my many, many relatives, there were a number of furniture naming conventions.
A sofa was often sectional, but would always be about 6-8′ wide.
A divan was larger than a loveseat, and usually of a fabric that needed some covering material to prevent plebeian stains (so, heirloom quilts or lacework, of equal “no!no!” status were often used.
A loveseat was about 5′ long.
A davenport was something larger than a single-person seat, and shorter than a loveseat. Davenport also encompassed back-less couches, and single-width daybeds.
A couch was any or all of the above, causing at least one correction of terminology.
“no! no! stain lacework” = doily and antimacassar*.
*Sparky spellings: Doylee and Auntie Castro
Arthritically-tatted shawls and scarves, too.
With exuberant tales of having crossed the plains in covered wagons and therefore being more precious than gold or silver or rubies. Some what spoilt by having the diaries of said worthies to read and discover that the shawls were often tatted from common cotton or flax linen thread and were never much meant for reserved, heirloom preservation. Sigh.
It’s one thing to have a flour-sack quilt–which is often a quite fragile sort of thing. It’s quite another to revere same by leaving it folded up, in UV-riddled direct sun, draped over furniture where the dogs and cats go sleep on it while everyone else is out of the house.
I wonder what happens if you DABINSTARBOARD?
You’d be leaning way too far to the right!
You’ll colide with the Wighthawse.
Forget all the fancy chifferobe terminology. It’s obviously just a chester draws with an armwore and a mirrow. I’d settle for calling it a burro with a cabbynet.
Sister Lyle, please present your card for Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Dabinstan!