YSaC, Vol. 1145: They see me rollin’. They prayin’.
2011 December 16
i can take care of your kids while you make you holyday shopping
if you need someone to take car of your kids while you make your holyday shoppings am here for you
there is nothing more hard than to go shopping with your kids on those days when alll the stores are packed with pople
email me and ill help you with this
It is really hard to shop for the holydays when the stores are full of pople. You can’t see anything around the papal mitres, and they’re all rolling up and down the aisles in their bulletproof PopeMoBubbles, blocking access to the last remaining Leap Pad in a 5,000 mile radius. Nobody wants their kid to see Mommy beat up the Pople.
Thanks, Jennifer!
Why do I want to read this with a Bacontini accent?
I don’t think anyone wants to read it with Bacontini’s accent.
Because “Father Guido Sarducci” is pretty much retired?
I think that the guy from yesterday’s post is trying to assemble a family, bit by bit.
By the way, did anyone else have to learn the following mnemonic in elementary school? “A C and a sign and a Constantine, and a nople and a pople and a Constantinople.”
I heard it but didn’t learn it.
That’s a new one for me, but it’s given me the “Istanbul, not Constantinople” (TMBG cover) earworm.
This will work out perfectly! It will give me time to go out and shop for my holyday automan empire footrest and my papa john chairs without a bunch of pesky goats running around!
Here is Sparkletime Fun Factory, we car your kids long time! Many joymaking activity we have for the makings of them, while fighting you the stores holyday pople. English we teach, charging not extra.
Don’t let Kelli hear you talk like that.
I still have scars from last time. 🙁
I’m gonna go hide behind IF so she doesn’t see me.
New From Has A Bro: Pople Action Figure! Smite Heathers with your Crosier, make them Kiss Your Ring! Kiss It! Bless millions with your Holy Water! Includes Super Turbo PopeMoBubble, with Pop-a-Matic dice roller! Decide the fates of whole countries at the roll of your Dice!
Does not include the Holy Hand Grenade, batteries not included and must be specially ordered from the Vatican. Cardinals and Accessories sold Separately. Not responsible for any miracles that may occur.
This hand basket is so comfy!
Popples were actually toys in the 80s. Pastel colored ball shaped plush mouse things.
Here’s the commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzzHB-cQVO8
If Sparky’s babysitting abilities are on the same level as his communication skills, I imagine toddlers running around the house and something boiling over/on fire on the stove eye and lots of screaming (“Why you no listen?!? Stop the beatings of you siblings!”) and the cops out in the driveway.
It’s the stuff holiday memories – and expensive therapy bills – are made of.
And the reason for huge insurance premiums.
Fab! I can never seem to find a sitter when I need to go out shopping for Imbolc or Zarathosht Diso. Huh? Sparky didn’t mean those holy days?
Because remember, it’s hard to do holyday shopping when the car’s on your kids. He’s just a strongman hoping to help out, should you need to get the car off them.
Digitalaxis, you’re becoming a regular now! I think you need to get yourself a proper icon. Go to gravatar.com and become one of us! (One of us … one of us … one of us … )
And remember “Goldilocks”–not too big, not too small; and choose “Rated G” for the image.
Great. Dave’s comment has convinced me that yesterday’s and today’s Sparky are the same guy. And Sparky is riding around in a van without windows. With lumps in the back covered with tarps. And bloody tools are under the seats. And Sparky is wearing a skin mask that looks like a so-desperate-to-find-a-man-that-she-went-on-Craigslist lady. And he’s eating what looks like people jerky.
Urp. And shiver.
Go away, Pedobear. No one likes you.
I’ve been holyday shopping for sense for my popery holder , but I can’t find murre and frankenstein. Sparky’s offer sounded good until he (?) got to the part about providing ill help. I have enough of that already.
If I can’t get the ordure I want from popery, I may have to use a censor. Let us spray.
Have a holy, joly Beesmas
It’s the best time of the year.
I don’t know if there’ll be popes
But have a bowl of weird.
Shouldn’t that be bowel of weird? 😉
Don’t kiss it under the hanging red table!
I’ve been waiting for someone to finish the rest of the verses. My creativity has a short attention span.
Here’s the mall.
And here’s the stople.
Open the doors.
And see all the pople.
“Packed with Popplers? Fishy Joes can help!”
What? Pople? What the hell is that?
It’s the Raffi song:
I like to at, at, at, apples and bananas
I like to eat, eat, eat, epples end benenes
I like to oat, oat, oat, poples ond bonobos
Oh holydays! Satan never buys the good stuff.
I have no doubt there were takers on this. I mean, if you’re dedicated enough to run amok in a Walmart for a $20 UV shoe deodorizer, you’re probably also dedicated enough that your children are mere impediments to your buying.
Childcare credentials? Hah! There are electric helicopter hats to buy for $43.27 in Aisle 6, and only 47 people in your way!
A man pulled a gun when people tried to jump the line. Someone I know of brought his kids and a cousin and they all purchased the limit allowed of wide screen tvs and computers. Look for them on Craigslist in this fe$tive holiday $ea$on.
Finally, someone to warch the babby as we unbluble all those Black Fryday deals! Now we can get the armwar, the Team Mobile phone, and many more too many to list!
Translation: We are a couple. Our family name is Shopping. If you need someone to take your children’s cars while you make your pilgrimmage, we, the Shoppings, can take care of it.
Just don’t teach them spelling.
Rebecca, skip the dishes whenever you like. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Nanny!