YSaC, Vol. 1135: I’m so sorry. He’s from Barcelona.
FREE MANUEL OPERATED TYPE WRITER w/ CARRING CASE.
Hi ,
I have an olivette type writer this type writer is one of the manuel ones the keys stroke but
the ribbon dont move up….. if you know about type writers let me know if you want this one.
thanks have a good day.
Please email me your first name and your number we can arrange a pick up
Im located on [location].
Rick-TV sent in this ad, along with the following commentary:
How do I interpret thee? Let me count the ways.
1. They’re giving away a typewriter that can only be operated by a guy named Manuel…but you don’t actually get Manuel with purchase. Probably because…
2. A guy named Manuel who was last seen operating a typewriter has been taken hostage in Guatemala and needs to be freed, and this ad is to alert us to his plight. Or maybe…
3. This typewriter is special because it was used during the highly-publicized but unsuccessful campaign to free Manuel, perhaps from those rebels in Guatemala.
4. I don’t want to know what the keys stroke, and reading that makes me kinda fear for Manuel’s safety. That said, I don’t think I’d want this typewriter.
Thanks, Rick-TV! And give our best to Manuel. El pueblo unido jamás será vencido, and all that.
TOTALLY OT TRANSMISSION: Ghostie, Taco, and the Snark Crew – pay attention! You have been awarded a major award!
Go here: http://awesomesauciness.wordpress.com/2011/12/02/586/
/END TOTALLY OT TRANSMISSION
Is this a Manuel transmission?
Nope, Ottoman-ic.
Ottum-manic?
No, no: onamonapia-ic. Come on, folks! 🙂
Dear Manuel,
Your typewriter has been key-napped. It’s somewhere in [location].
If you ever want to get your ribbon fixed or your keys stroked again bring 42 bottles of correction fluid and meet me at the corner of Olivette and Royal by sundown.
Signed,
WordPerfect
I suspect that the typewriter isn’t operated by Manuel, it’s been operated on by Manuel. Its plastic surgery consisted of changing an Olivetti to an Olivette. It’s singular now.
This must have been written by the Captain from Wall·E.
Manwell, Open document. Manwell, I said, Open document.
That was the first thing I thought, as well.
Manuel. Strokes. Corner.
I don’t think anyone here has ever considered doing that to the corner.
Not that the corner wouldn’t be grateful of the attention, but at least get it a t-shit first.
According to Google, Manuel Olivette is a farmer who lives in Yucatan, Mexico; not nearby Guatemala. My Spanish isn’t good enough to tell what type of writer he is, why he needs to be freed, or why the keys that are on strike expect their job action to result in a ribbon moving up, and how that would benefit Manuel. Possibly the problem with this listing is the manuel transmission.
So I get a Manuel operated Olivette typewriter with a carring case? If you’re not going to throw in Manuel or his car, it’s kind of a long drive to Olivette, MO, just for the typewriter.
Que?
Suddenly I’m craving butter.
On these trays?
¿Por que?
We have missed the point. Manuel was unfairly incarcerated; we must free him by carring his case back to the appelate court. I do not care if his ribbon goes up anymore, I’ll arrange for the carring pickup.
*sigh* you guys are much better at this than I.
Oh damn….and that was even in the initial riff. I’m going back for more coffee.
No worries — you have a beautiful gay fish.
Wow. It took drmk’s comment (BBUY) before I realized what Val’s avatar was. I’m sorry, I thought it was just a very pretty paint stroke. Wow.
It ain’t easy being blonde. Or a monkey.
Valarie, I think the submitter did too well on this one. I’ve got nothing.
LovelyGayFishVal – we are not better, just more practiced. 🙂
My brain hurts. Can we just drink margaritas in honor of Manuel and call it a day?
peng, it’s too early in CA to start drinking already! Good thing I haven’t stopped yet from last night. 8)
BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Windy said it was too early to start drinking!
BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
AHHHH……whew! Thanks, I needed that.
“You can’t say you have been drinking all day if you don’t start at breakfast!”
Why stop at night?
I know, right Hammy? I myself have an IV providing me with a slow Jack drip during the night.
:snerk:
Monkey does Jack slowly, all night long.
:snergle:
I’ll be over in the corner, watching the fishie.
YSaC, its affiliates, and employees, does not condone senseless consumption of alcholic beverages or promoting theuse of IVs to make such consumption easier. Do not try this at home. We are professionals. Store in a cool, dry place.
It kinda looks like you might have had an “alcholic” beverage recently, Windy.
I never consume senselessly… just rapidly.
Champagne is the most sensible drink I know.
Juan. . .wan. . . one. Little. drinky. only juanwanone. I can hold my liquor. And the person who just said “Watch this!”
Is an olivette a small olive? Considering how small olives already are I wouldn’t expect much of a market for smaller olives.
But you don’t get the tiny olives, you get an “olivette type writer” – a machine that writes on tiny olives. You probably have to provide your own olives.
Poor Manuel. Can’t get his ribbon up and small olives, too.
I hear a flashy red sports car will fix that problem.
Yeah, but it gets spendy, what with the insurance, tooth capping, gold chains, hair plugs, ahem “supplements” and all . . .
Really tiny martinis.
Ralph in the box today! We’ll be showing Fawlty Towers episodes all day. 8)
Olivette type writers are generally classified as inferior to Popeyed type writers. At least this one has the decency to not move its ribbon.
Digitalaxis, welcome; please continue to comment more!
If we give Manuel (aka Olivette) a Cialis, will his “ribbon” go up?
I hope your fishbowl has a corner.
It’s got five. It is octagonal, after all.
Yes. I’ll just sit there and enjoy my rainbows. And coffee. And avert my eyes from those of the opposite sex when they are undressing.
In honor of the holiday season…
*Ahem, in my best Willy Nelson voice*
Empty paper, cuz the ribbon don’t move
Type your précis to your darling from you
Pretty pecils that show “I love you”
Empty paper, cuz the ribbon don’t move
Crowded street, outside the Home Depot
Downtown shoppers, Manuel is free
There he sits all alone on the sidewalk
Hoping that you won’t pass him by
Should you stop?, better not, much too scary
You’re in a hurry, but your gutters need cleaned
In the distance the clatter of keys
And in the midst of the clatter he cries
Empty paper, cuz the ribbon don’t move
Type your précis to your darling from you
Pretty pecils that show “I love you”
Empty paper, cuz the ribbon don’t move
I’m sorry, Olivette, I can’t do that. You know I have the utmost confidence in this ribbon…
So that’s what the kids are calling it these days.
It’s what Keith Stone calls his quiet shirt time…
I see nothing funny about this ad. Somebody should let Manuel know where his typewriter is.
I’ll just hand you a drink, D. That should help.
Dear Manuel:
I would so love to procure your type writer. I need it for my favorite writer. I’m his number one fan. I’m disturbed however that the ribbon is all oogy and won’t move up in the cockadoodie carriage!!! I hope it can be fixed.
I thought I knew a lot about type writers but apparently I have a hard time grasping what sort of paper I need to use in them. What sort of paper does it require? Is it that special kind that doesn’t smear when I run my greasy fingers over it? Does it require anything else? How about a tiny tape recorder or a homemade pair of writing slippers? I’ll get the stupid paper Manuel if you say I should, but you better show me a little appreciation, Mr. MAN!!!
I would love to have a good day but when I was growing up in [location], my favorite thing in the whole world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays. Well, they called them Cliffhangers but they also called them Serials. But it seems everyone always gets amnesia watching the next week. They cheat us! It isn’t fair! He didn’t get out of the cock-a-doodie car no matter how you want to change it! Did you want my first name? It’s Annie.
So Manuel, I hope there’s not anything else wrong with it. Hope it’s not an oogie mess. Please don’t be just another lying ol’ dirty birdy. My gun has two bullets in it. One for me and one for Olivette.
Regards,
Annie
p.s. My friend Paul found out that my little ceramic penguin in the study always faces due south. Oh yeah, and how much does it weigh?
There are no words. Only doors.
Look out, Stephen…Mudsy’s in da house. One of my favorites (book, not movie, tho I love Kathy Bates). Doors!
Hmm, have to wonder about the email Manual wrote me about having found 500,000 pesetas in a bonsai olive garden, and could I type a US$50,000 type cheque for to send to make the ribbon move again.
Should I worry that the return address is in Mozambique?
You should worry whether you gave me… er, Barrister Pastor Manuel Ortgega K’mube your correct Social Numeral of Security.
The typewriter comes with a hamster named Basil.
Archie, if you read this, would you please email me at my dot windrose at sbcglobal dot net? Would be much appreciated. 8)
Ralph, as one loon to another, Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Milwaukee!
Manuel should have known better than to go to [location]. Do you know what goes on in [location]? That’s where gay fish go to poop on blue rocks.