YSaC, Vol. 1132: I am the Dancing Queen.
looking for someone to teach me how to dougie
I am looking to hire someone to teach me how to dougie. I am pretty close to being able to do it, but I need a little extra help. Please know how to dougie and be able to teach it. I live in wicker park and would prefer to have the lesson at my place, but I am open to do it wherever is easier for you. I am willing to pay $100 for no more than 3 hours. I think I will need less time than that, but will pay $100 no matter what.
Nope, I’m pretty useless at the Dougie. If you want the Mashed Potato, the Frug, or the Watusi … well, you’ll have to ask someone else about those, too. On the other hand, I do a mean gavotte, and my bourrée is unparalleled. (They’re not GOOD, mind you — one’s just mean, and the other is unparalleled … because I can’t do it in a straight line.)
Okay, well after watching just ONE tutorial on youtube, I “got” this.
It’s right, left, right, left, left, right, smooth your hair, right, left, left, turn around, sway from side to side then dip, baby, dip. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, freeze. Every day, I’m shuffling…
That’s $100, please.
I am picturing the little gecko doing that – it makes me giggle.
LL, The last event at the YSaC Convention will be Dance Lessons with LimeLolly!
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right then bust your ass.
Wait… that’s not right…
That’s the secret shortcut to battle the Big Boss in ‘SuperMario’.
Actually, I saw it in Star Trek. I think one of the Storm Troopers has it written on his gun.
[Corey] Contra. Original NES. ^^vvba (select) (start) [/Corey]
Yep. Sadly, The Code does not help with dancing. It does, however, give you infinite cups of punch to drink alone in the corner.
Ah memories.
Lou, that was an incomplete [corey].
Maybe the baby typed it.
Not bad for only a couple of days old!
L-squared – I’ve a sneaking suspicion those instructions apply to just about every modern form of dancing.
What I want to know is…..can he juggle?
And, can someone teach me how to do the King Tut, the funky Tut?
LL, I’m confused about the “baby” step between the two dips. Assuming I have adequate bowel control to baby (and that’s a big assumption), should I be wearing a diaper when I do it?
I’m reminded of incident many years ago involving my grandmother.
I happened to be walking behind her and every step she made, she passed gas.
Every.Step.
So…
If this happens to you often, you should probably wear a diaper. And a pine tree air freshener on a gold chain.
That’s called “crop dusting”, by the way.
Dougie was the name of one of the kids I walked to school with in first grade, along with Matt and Shawn (apparently no girls in my year lived on our street). Resultantly, the idea of “doing” [the] dougie makes me deeply uncomfortable, as does the mention of money. I fear that simply responding to this ad would have both Chris wossname the catch-a-predator guy and the vice squad knocking my door down.
Unless the passage of time for people named Dougie is governed by cat math, I think you’re okay.
While I am pretty sure you are right, the name “Dougie” always makes me perceive the name’s owner as about five or six. No bueno. *squick*
Think Sparky would settle for me teaching him how to do the “penguin”? It’s basically waddling to the tune of Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. I came up with it after dinner on T-day when someone turned on a radio station that had to audacity to play Christmas music before December 1 (there should be a law against that).
Penguin, I think I love you for this.
Penguin, I hope you were waddling to the radio to change the station.
That one song is awesome!
My 2nd favorite radio station here started playing Christmas music full time at 3pm the day before Thanksgiving.
Ugh.
OMG kill
mesomeone now!I just got back from the grocery store, where I heard 3 versions each of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” and “Jingle Bells.” It was horrible.
On the way there, I caught the last few verses of “The 12 Pains of Christmas.” I enjoy a good parody song (shocking, I know), and wouldn’t mind hearing those more often.
I’ve not heard that one, but can already relate.
Oh Penguin, you’ll be so glad you don’t live in Vancouver (BC). There is a radio-station here that starts playing “all christmas, all the time” from mid-November.
I wonder if they’ve worked out that they’ve lost at least one of their audience-share since that crap started?
Probably not, as apparently they do it every year.
My daughter was singing Christmas songs in the car yesterday. I told her that she wasn’t allowed to do that until December. I’m such a mean mom.
I could teach Sparky how to make bread dough. $100 no matter what ! Yea!
Firstie you getie a shovelie….
Shovelie? Pfft. C’mon, Hammy. Just diggie in.
(You havie no idea how hardie it was to typie this on my iPhonie.)
Yeur be sooundin’ lieke der Swedish Cheffen!
How to Dougie:
1. Start a pop band.
2. Get lethally unattractive earrings.
3. Go into rehab after breaking up with your girlfriend.
What do you mean, not that Dougie? Since you didn’t specify, I’m still going to have to charge you the $100.
Howser Dougie today?
Not bad. Howser’s?
Worth a hunnerd.
No way!
Way.
Not.A.Doogie
Yeah I know, but it was funnier the way I said it. 8) Mr. Negative!
[corey] I am actually sort of disappointed to learn from Uncle Wikipedia that the Dougie is a hip-hop dance. I believe this means I have now entered old fogey-dom. [/corey]
I’m ok with it. Dances with names have rarely been good news.
The Time Warp is the only exception.
Let’s do the dougie aga-ain!
The Time Warp, while entertaining, is ANYTHING but good news.
What about the Charleston?!
Oh how I pine for the days of flappers.
Heh. “Flappers.” Heh heh.
Heyyyy….wasn’t “Dances With Names” the love-child of Capt. Dunbar and Stands With Fist?
Hmm, named dances that did not end well . . .
Lindy Hop
Electric Boogaloo
the Hustle
Electric Slide
Manhattan
“Line” dancing (barring only “Cotton-eyed Joe” & “Schotizshe”–but only if the band has a fiddler).
Non-wedding use of the “Chicken Dance”
Yep, I see the pattern
The Slosh.
The last dance craze I knew by name was the Macarena. Oh how I wish I could forget it!
Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?
Nope.
Do you know the way to San Jose?
I’ve been away so long, I may go wrong and lose my way.
Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you?
No, but I can tell you how to get to Sesame Street. First you head down Ventura Highway to Grand Central Station. Catch the A Train and get off at Electric Avenue which is the stop after Boogie Wonderland. Do the hustle over to Penny Lane and hang a right and you are there. Don’t take a left otherwise you will end up on the highway to hell.
I thought I did, but I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
I’ll be Querky. Almost lost my head there once, twice, three times it saved me. Why I looove glue.
Line dance, everyone!
Get your booties on the floor.
[makes signs against evil]
l*ne dancing is evil!
they remain nothing more than a plot to make the date-less and grace-less look even more so, and all through the peer pressure of group conformity.
They also encourage far too much of the bubble-gum pablum spewed from Nashvile in the last few decades, too.
Dougie, dougie, bo-bougie
Banana-fana fo-fougie
Fee-fi-mo-mougie
Dougie!
Here ya go Sparky:
You put your left foot in
You put your left foot out
You put your left foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Dougie Dougie
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about
Do this at the club Saturday night and ladies will be whoopin’ each other to get to you, guaranteed.
I take PayPal, thanks.
Monkey – you might want to consider PalPal, too. I hear it’s better, because it’s just between friends.
What happens on PalPal, stays on PalPal*.
*For a nominal, recurring fee.
Is that somewhere to buy friends? Are you saying I have no friends?
Sob.
In case you missed it.[/corey]
Aww, it’s okay, monkey.
You can buy my friendship any day.
I accept postdated third-party checks and trucks filled with bees.
*sniff*
I have the best friends in all of cyberspace.
I can be your imaginary friend, I’m good at that.
Off topic: I encountered a “Matt” on another site today. I posted a doodle of a cat face saying “I’m offened by cats” with the caption that
“the internet is offended by everything but cats, so I think I’ll start being offened by cats so that the internet can officially be offended by everything”. Immediatly someone got offended by my doodle (and by the word “offended”) and called me an enemy of social justic and in league with sexists/racists. Yep. (I think they proved my point?)
Occupy LOLcats!
I’ve always said that about you. *Squints*
Silva, will you need bail money? You being such a rebel and enemy of social justice and all that…. 8)
Haha, I know. Nah, I just got someone trying to argue at me and being oversensitive about me pointing out how people argue and get oversensitive too much on the internet. After pointing out twice to them it as just a joke and them getting more and more upset I figured it wasn’t worth trying to talk to them anymore. The worst I’ll get out of it is a few “unfollows” (oh no!)
Rebels, unfollows, and justice. Oh my!
and most of those “offened” should be “offended” (sigh typos)
I’m offended by cats, specifically Sally the Siamese. Latest transgressions:
-Sitting on my laptop’s keyboard and making my mouse pointer disappear.
-Jumping up on the potty at the exact moment I was trying to have a seat on said potty.
-Catching my back turned and grabbing the top piece ‘o bread from my sammich and running down the hallway with it like a Sally out of Hell.
Yeah! Screw cats! They suck!
But I do love her so….
I should probably be offended by dogs too then, since my dog decided since I wasn’t paying enough attention to her lately (with being busy with the holidays and all), she would rip up anything she could find from the garbage and leave it in my bedroom as angry gift.
It’s a very good thing she is cute so I’ll love her anyway
(I’m not really offended by any animal, except maybe mosquitoes, they are annoying)
I am intrigued by the idea of angry-gifting.
“I hate you so much – here’s a gift certificate and a teddy bear!”
I think I just discovered the secret to world peace!
Scene from Ghostie’s world:
“Yeah, you think you’re so damn smart, don’t ya?! Yeah, Mr. Know-it-all. You, sir, are a myopic jackass who can’t see past your own ego. So take this decorative faux-Ming vase and this bouquet of fresh flowers and go screw yourself. And I hope you choke on the cake I’m sending you.”
Silva, I’ve been meaning to say something to you about your obvious prejudice against cats for a long damned time now.
It’s quite clear a rat carrying an unbubler has no idea how hard it is for a cat these days.
I mean
wethey are mocked on the Internet.Made to look like illiterate dolts with no taste or bearing.
Forced to eat dry…did you hear me? DRY food.
Taunted, daily, with all manner of feathery and jingly torture devices kept just out of
ourtheir reach, and worst of all, forced to share personal space with…..dogs.Really, it’s intolerable and I am completely offened..and upend…and stipend…and other words that end in -end that you would add to
ourtheir misery in such a callous way.Sincerely,
Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Feifings, and, Undersecretary to the Overlord of Underlings for Cats Under and Over Everywhere (or UCUOE as we are better known)
I know, right CJ? Cats are always the bad guys in movies too.
Occupy The Litterbox! Cats Unite! Don’t Be Pussies!
Corner! *zing!*
Are we sure she’s talking about some kind of dance and not a feminine hygiene procedure?
Read the ad again with THAT in your head, it’s much funnier. And/or makes more sense. 🙂
My uterus crossed itself when you said that. “Feminine hygeine procedure” + word that sounds like action performed with shovel = frightened ladyparts.
I. CAN’T. GET. THAT. SONG. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD. NOW.
You’d think this champ would just watch the music video, seeing as the song is CALLED “Teach Me How to Dougie.”
OT: Already typed this out once and the post got eated. I have a friend who moved to Santa Maria, CA and had a series of unfortunate events. Comes down to, the man she rented a room from has expected sex in return, and has even killed one of her birds when she refused. She has a homeless shelter she can stay at, but she has three cages of birds and two cats. If you know anyone in the Santa Maria area who can house any or all of these pets, please let me know and I will provide contact info. She hopes to be close enough to continue to feed and care for her pets. Thanks.
I don’t know anyone there, but she has my thoughts and prayers. That’s frightening and disgusting and I hope she can find someone to board them while she gets things sorted.
Ditto.
Ghostie and IF, your show is all ready to take on the road! For luck — Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Arthur Murray!