YSaC, Vol. 1119: Filibuster vigilantly.
Sent in by our own lovely and talented CJ:
want to be my giantess?
im looking for a woman who would like to txt me during the week and make some money off it! lol. im a nice 24 yr old guy, who needs someone to talk to about all my weird fantasys.
the reason im doing this is id like to have someone to discuss all my odd things with, i clearly cant with my friends, to weird. you must be comfortable being able to talk about all kinds of things. thanks!
would you ever want to be a 200ft tall woman? or maybe you;d want everyone on earth to be shrunken to 3inches tall except for you? could you imagine that, and could you be a mean, evil giantess? id love to chat with some ladies that would truly enjoy this idea, or maybe even really want it to happen! it would give you total control over small helpless women, you could do anything you can imagine to them, without consquence. youd be able to decide peoples fate! lol. id love to talk about the scenarios, the things you could, ive always wanted there to be a real life giantess. hehe. 🙂 im a nice young man, im 24, very cool, outdoorsey. my names is [sparky]. would love to email and txt! thanks
My giantess fantasies extend only to chugging the tiny bottles of alcohol they serve you on planes and pretending I’m huge. Okay, okay, I do the thing where I prance around while holding Barbie purses by my fingertips, but really — who doesn’t do that? It’s like when you draw faces on your fingers and hold little puppet shows for yourself when you’re bored during your class or meeting; there’s nothing odd about that. I mean, at some point everyone has collected caterpillars and held caterpillar races to determine which one was the fastest, and then named him Speedy, right?*
Um, I seem to have gotten off topic again.
* I was an only child. Don’t judge me.
Would Sparky settle for 50 feet?
As long as she has a 15-story halo.
Um … okay.
(backs away slowly with hands in plain sight)
So THIS is where the idea for Little Women came from. I’d always wondered.
Don’t give Bruckheimer and Bay any ideas. Although I might enjoy that more than any of the current film adaptations…
When you have one giant woman at a convent school for girls, you get Giantess-a-go-go!
Ok, trying to shake off the mental image of a Tarantino-Rodriguez version of “Little Women” (which would probably be retitled as “Litl Wimmn”) . . .
60’s music track possibilities also mind-boggling . . .
They might make an entertaining Wuthering Heights, though.
Jane Eyre could be improved with a few random explosions and giant robots.
Interestingly, I don’t really like Austen, any Brontes (go on, be aghast, I’ll be over here reading Chandler and Kennedy), and films where lots of stuff explodes, but I agree with your ideas. Hmmm.
Don’t forget that crazy people, like dogs, can smell fear – and it smells like bacon dipped in chocolate.
And you wanna know how I happened to find this ad?
I was looking for a freelance writing gig on some site…can’t even remember which one now…that scours other sites…kinda like the Orbitz for freelancers, and there it was.
Apparently there are a lot of freelancers who either double as giantess’ or write about it or want to be it so they create fantasies about it or…
…if anyone needs me I’ll be under the bed, armed with a fider warch or two…
*joins CJ under bed*
*passes flask*
Dear Sparky,
I am writing in response to your ad on Craigslist for a woman who would like to be a 200 ft giantess. To answer your question, if I were to be a 200 ft giantess, I would squish you to prevent you from ever posting an asinine add on Craigslist again.
Then I would go sit in the World’s Largest Rocking Chair. Because I can.
Sincerely,
Not.A.Sparky
“…and that’s the truth” — Edith Anne
Sparky obviously needs a priest. They can talk about his desire to play God and crush ladies and be a lady. Then Sparky can talk.
::evades books and tomatoes flying her direction::
I suspect there’s a whole subgenre of anime specifically dedicated to this sort of thing.
Do NOT look up the terms “Macro” and “Furry” with safe search off.
In fact, don’t look up those terms together AT ALL!
I’m still trying to get over the post traumatic stress disorder from my little mishap.
It can’t be that bad.
:switches tabs to Google:
:click:
And I was very, very wrong. Time to boil more Brain Bleach.
You just know there’s a fanfic out there….you.just.know.it.
In my experience, there are fanfics for everything.
I wouldn’t be surprised if there were YSaC fanfics out there somewhere, but I’m not gonna go looking for them.
Proof of Concept:
I’ve got a Land Before Time / Dead Space crossover on top of my to-do pile.
I’ve got a Star Wars/Leave it To Beaver crossover in my maybe pile.
Reading dialog between Han Solo and Ward Cleaver is just as surreal as it sounds.
I can really relate to the Llamanun on this one. Personally, I like to put Little Smokies next to my-
Gotta go.
If I had a nickel for every time some wild-eyed mad scientist offered to shoot me with his Enlarging Ray, I’d be able to buy the world a Coke.
Some of you would have to share, though.
If I had a nickel for every time Ghostie got a nickel for every time some wild-eyed mad scientist offered to shoot her with his Enlarging Ray, I’d be able to buy the world a second Coke.
Also: “offered to shoot me with his Enlarging Ray” sounds very dirty.
Let’s see what my psychiatrist says about that –
:shakes Magic 8 Ball:
“Consult a real psychiatrist.”
Why does it keep saying that?
*winks*
*brandishes raygun*
Hey baby.
Is a raygun like a hammer?
How does Ray feel about you brandishing his “gun”?
Hey!, who left the space shuttle fuel tank on our lawn and why is “Tampax” printed on the side?
Don’t ask, Hammy. Just be glad the booster rocket is still intact.
Ew.
Damn, I’m looking for someone with a shrinking ray, with very specific targeting installed. I’ve always felt like something of a giantess, and I do not like it. So Sparky needs to keep walking.
I think Sparky’s already been hit with the shrink ray.
In the brain.
Lower.
*Deep Baritone*
I think Sparky’s already been hit with the shrink ray.
In the brain.
Why do I suspect the reason Sparky fantasizes about a 200 foot woman is because he has trouble finding certain areas on a normal sized one?
The
spot?
Here sparky, look through this end of these binoculars…
“ive always wanted there to be a real life giantess. hehe”
But, what if your average Sparky hooked up with a giantess? Wouldn’t that make him feel, um, small? You’d think that would give him a complex that the fastest reddest Vette could never fix.
Just letting my brain take its usual direction.
Carry on.
*smacks forehead*
I just noticed that our beloved overlords (BBUT) called li’l ol’ me “lovely and talented”.
*blushes*
Aww…shucks..y’all…thank you… 🙂
Daang, I know that, in my college career, I had some bored instructors. But none were cool enough to stage a puppet show until the clock freed them from obligation to the present accretion of dunderheads.
Tenure does strange things to professors.
If your nails are long enough, you can give them pretty hats.
Present Accretion of Dunderheads is the name of my King Crimson cover band.
My first thought: “So Hagrid’s dad wasn’t the only one who feels that way.”
Good thing I didn’t need my brain any more.
*Tosses brain into the garbage disposal*
Seriously, that has ALWAYS bothered me.
I can see why, biologically, Hagrid would have to have a giantess mother to be born – a regular human woman pregnant with a half-giant baby would not end well – but I don’t see how the mechanics of conception would work if his father was the equivalent size of a Ken doll to his mother.
Well, I’m sure the term “Cave Time” might have come up occasionally in bed…
I’ll be in the corner.
As long as he wasn’t anatomically a Ken doll, could just be like my friend’s notorious ex…
And I query whether a male giant / female human pairing would even be able to get to conception – and then I throw up.
Hagrid’s mom: “It was magic!”
Sparky, (after conferring with a few unspent brain cells)
[in a room to no-one in particular]:
Um, ‘scuse me wilst i text my giantess;
rmbr whn u said if u were 200ft tall youd like to try ‘a lttl xpermint’? lol
well it wldnt wrk cause id only b 2in tall
I think the sock puppet just exposed the true identity. And I am impressed.
Giantess fetishists actually aren’t that uncommon and there are many pro dommes who cater to unrealizable fetishes (centaur, superhero, etc) over the phone.
Not really voting this one as suck worthy, unless you think fetishists suck or the fact Craigslist isn’t the best place to solicit pro dommes.
Might have joked how sparky wants a giantess and yet can’t use a capital letter… but that was too obvious. 🙂
Sparks is apparently ‘afraid’ of tall things.
Somebody order some [matt] or [corey] tags?
Seriously, it’s poorly written, and it is tagged with “maybe its just me.”
Don’t know how this sucks? Here we go:
I couldn’t help myself.
You’re welcome.
Even if this isn’t a theme I’ve daydreamed about much (come to think of it though, hmm!), hasn’t anyone at least once?
Someone sweet and fun and respectful and imaginative can inspire trying all sorts of things — at least half of you know exactly what I mean, too.
Sparky sounds like a lot of fun, though I’d have more fun making up stories about total control over small helpless men. 🙂
Sending you good will and tickles, Sparky, whoever you are. Don’t let the drones grind you down.
Sorry, he’s looking for giants, not trolls. 8)
Hmm, I think I can understand baby Huey now.
ghostie and Cindy B., Punchity Punch Punch! You’re humor is giant in my book.
Good Morning, Phoebe!
Would love to text you. How can we contact. I do not want to leave my info on here.