YSaC, Vol. 1096: It was actually tandoori.
I found your piss. – m4w – 19
It’s a long story, but I collected your urine from the women’s restroom at work. I found the smell absolutely intoxicating. I think you may have had curry at some point. I love curry! It was also a dark yellow color, indicating you don’t hydrate enough. On the toilet tank I found a short red hair, which is ultra cute. I assume this is you, but I could be wrong. The bathroom doesn’t get a lot of traffic on that floor, however, so it probably is. I’d really like to put a face to the pee, and we could potentially hit it off, so if this sounds like you, contact me!
Gah! In general, nothing good can ever come out of the phrase, “It’s a long story, but …”, but this is particularly egregious. As a red-haired female, the only reason I’m not taking out a restraining order on everyone and everything is because I don’t live anywhere near where this was posted.
Thanks, Stephanie — I’m going to be checking under the seat now for the rest of my life!
Sparky the Pee Ninja, there is someone I’d like you to meet:
Mr. Cattle Prod!
*BZZZT!*
And Mr. Restraining Order (but he’s not as much fun…)
Sis, he’s only 19! You have to turn Mr. Cattle Prod way up to have any effect.
Hey… you’re right! This thing goes to 11!
My house has 5 redheads with hair of varying length. We have the occasional surprise pee-location incident. I am never happy about it, although I do have to occasionally track down the culprit. Apparently this “Not Me” guy does a whole lot of naughty stuff around this house!
*trying very hard not to crawl under the bed and hide from freaky pee stalker*
*passes flask – which is definitely only filled with potable beverage – under bed to MandaB*
I saw this on an ad for peeHarmony.
If he’s really desperate to find more, he could try peeBay.
At least he wasn’t looking for the #2 dating service…
Now I’m picturing him as a dog checking his peemail.
“FW: Pet the puppy’s tummy!”
This phrase “pissing match”… I do not think it means what you think it means.
Also, nothing good can ever come of the phrase, “I’d really like to put a face to the pee.”
Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do when a dog has an accident?
Some days YSaC is the best weight-loss program on the planet.
I’m glad I ate dinner BEFORE checking YSaC today.
OT – I ordered my gi-normous ninja mug today! Now, I just wonder if it’ll escape before I get it.
I has the jealous!
Oh, it’ll get there, but the mug will mysteriously empty itself when you’re not looking.
You’ll set it down in the kitchen and discover it mysteriously perched on the bookshelf moments later…
🙂
Thanks for ruining a perfectly good expression.
I say that all the time … excuse me, I used to say that all the time. *sigh*
Okay…so did you “find” it or did you “collect” it.
Brings new meaning to that adorable little poem, “if it’s yellow, let it mellow….”
PEE NINJAS!!!!
I take it they are masters of Kung poo?
No, the funk shui is all wrong.
I see, they need something that matches their yellow belts.
Not normally, but if I drank a lot of Ninja Juice I might be able to manage it.
Because, y’know, curry.
http://www.explosm.net/comics/2571/
Ew.
Just, just…ew.
Monkey, you obviously don’t live near the ocean or you would know this is the only cure. 8)
To give this guy some credit, most people piss and moan about being single. He at least is taking a shot at finding his type of girl.
Ew.
I read this this morning before I left home (briefly considered calling in sick, as a result) and still can’t really come up with anything beyond agreement with the tagging … humanity is f’n’ doomed!
*reads over ad*
Shut up, Sparky, just shut up!
*drops voice to a weepy whisper*
…you had me at “yellow”….
You have to see the (pee-)glas half full.
At least mr. pee sommelier hasn’t installed a camera yet. And he talks about the smell not the taste …. ok ok I agree humanity is doomed.
Does he just look for people who don’t flush or has he prepared the toillet?
Oogh… y’know, I hadn’t even considered the possibility of some form of collection preparation. *shudder* I was just going to say “FLUSH!!!” but…yiiii… public restrooms just got a new layer of horror.
Itinerant plumber or janitor, perhaps?
Squee!! Kitty!!!
His eyes … It’s like he’s starting straight into my soul …
ALL HAIL HYPNOKITTY!
I just vomited in my mouth a little.
Faith in Humanity -1.
I wonder what the overall Faith In Humanity score would be if there was a -1 button of that label next to the Adores +1 button.
Are there any numbers under absolute zero?
Sounds like diet vodka…
Sounds like heaven.
No way! They got diet vodka? Yes!
Was it yellow? If it was dark yellow, you might be dehydrated. Bile is like that, sometimes.
Lemon curry?
*gag*
I glad he didn’t taste the pee to confirm the curry hypothesis. Because that would have been weird.
Yeah, we wouldn’t want to push this posting into the “weird” category. As opposed to the, uh, what category is it in now, again?
I’d put it in the “yuck” category
I’d put it in the “beyond creepy stalker” category.
Excuse me, red-haired lady? I do believe urine trouble.
TC, please trade in your quilt square for a real gravitar, and sit a spell. No, not on that, er, throne. Pull up a bean bag chair. 8)
The only thing i could think of while reading this, was of the book Perfume. For those of you who have not had to read this grim novel, I think you should go read it now. It’s about this French guy whose sense of smell is insane and it leads him to go on a killing spree of unsuspecting young women…
On another note, ew.
I’ve seen the movie based on the book – it was excellent in a very disturbing way. I highly recommend it.
Read it in a writing class years ago. An interesting part of the story is that the main character had no smell of his own, no body scent. People usually disliked him immediately. I thought of this recently while reading about a test that linked depression to a limited sense of smell. Due to faulty sinuses, I am often unable to catch whiffs of things, and I am wondering if that is part of my life-long depression.
Sadly, the first thing that came to mind was, “Gee whiz”.
The whole thing just pisses me off.
Hi, Grampdaddy! Here’s the flask, if it helps you feel better. No, it’s not a trick, yes, you drink from it like usual. Grey Goose, in fact.
Why does the vodka smell like curry today?
Ecch! Not mine!
I knew that guy at Occ Health doing the drug testing looked a little shady.
I just dyed my red hair brown. Ick!
Actually, there is quite the creeper where I work. But he is pretty old and it’s doubtful that he has ever heard of Craigslist or would even put the effort into typing this. He would just come into my office and stare. And stare. And stare.
You should get him a present for being so thoughtful! Maybe some bees on the end of a clue-by-four?
Srsly though, ew, that’s not cool. 🙁 Also, I’m quite serious about the bees.
Hold up a mirror. Perhaps he’ll Medusa himself and turn into stone.
It’s starting to work!
MandaB, how was the box today? Just installed a fresh TidyBowl in the potty. So hopefully it was scented nicely, not like curry or anything. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’night, Mayo Clinic!