YSaC, Vol. 1066: Norman invasion.
every thank must go – $1
the biggest garage sale ever toys & close & shoes & tools & computer & lout more these Saturday & Sunday the 18 and 19
from 10 am To 4 pm come over and save your $ see you
Toys & Clothes & Shoes & Tools
Are getting sold out on the street
Look at me, I’ve got ladders!
(They’re battered)
Craigslist’s so alarming
And my ads are never charming
Life’s a pile of crap out on my street
Old Apples
People filling shopping bags
Blocking traffic
(Parking in some fashion)
Mud-splattered!
Laughter, joy and loneliness and shoes and tools and computer and lout!
Look at me, I’ve got ladders!
(They’re battered)
OK, so it’s no “Chicken Killer”, but I couldn’t let drmk have ALL the fun.
Thanks for the link, Saleem!
P.S. – Did you notice the post title is a link? You should definitely click it.
Even for $1, I’m still not going to buy the advertised lout. I can encounter them for free. Same for the close. Most shops don’t charge for that.
I will take their thanks at that price. Sometimes life is pretty thankless, so I can always use extra. $1 is a reasonable rate!
Aw, c’mon, that lout could be a gold-mine in the making. Bring him home for $1, give ‘im a nice shave, maybe a hat, perhaps a wristwatch and some wingtip shoes. You could easily turn him around for $10 or $20. An easy opportunity to ten-tuple your investment.
Those wingtip shoes may be bitchin’ but they will still cost you too much to make a profit. I say make spats by using white out on a pair of Goodwill shoes. Now that’s hawt.
I have a spare lout, and I’ll definitely thank the person who takes him.
Is his name Norman, by any chance?
Just wondering.
Dinsdale?
Diiiiiinsdale?
Dinsdale, Dinsdale?!
Lola and the Louts is my Gladys Knight and the Pips cover band.
Maybe Daisy has finally gotten tired of Onslow, and is selling him off?
Best Onslow quote ever: “I’m completely surrounded by no beer!”
Actually, Onslow was not entirely loutish. He was always trying to get Richard into situations where he could have a bit of fun, which I thought was rather perceptive and considerate. 8)
*Looks around*
OH GODS! A gigantic pack of no beer has surrounded me and is closing in!
I picture the lout looking a lot like Mr. Winkie.
I am now picturing the alot of lout.
*reads Camille’s “alot of lout”*
*flees, screaming*
I love Alots a lot even if they are a Alot of lout.
Ooooh… a lout? I wonder if it’s male or female? I mean, I’ve heard the males are slovenly and given to breaking promises, cheating on you and so on. The females, though, I’ve heard are a little more mellow. All they do is tan and drink till they black out most of the time.
I dunno…for a dollar, I think I’ll go with the close.
Who knows, I might get to visit a galaxy far, far away. If Han is there, then that’s a dollar well spent.
Even the females wear on you. I had one living next door for the past year. Waking up at midnight on a Monday by someone screaming or falling down the stairs because they are drunk is not fun. I don’t think I want their lout.
The last apartment I lived in had the loudest folks I’ve ever lived near. My neighbor on the other side of my bedroom wall had a girlfriend that would scream his name and other things at 3:am. I had to go to the livingroom and sleep on my couch many times.
I lived next door to the lout triangle in my last apartment, by your definition. There was the middle-aged lout, his 20-something boyfriend lout, and the bf’s girlfriend lout (no, I didn’t understand the group dynamics there, either). They would periodically all go drinking on weekend nights and then have fights in their entryway, which, in the brownstone setup we had, were right next to my bedroom. “Get out!” “F*** you!” on endless loop at 4:45 on Sundays is rather a loutish soundtrack, but then when they moved out, fratty law students moved in and did things like urinate (during loud, loutish parties) in the tomato plants my downstairs neighbor was cultivating. (Did an altercation ensue? Of course it did! Louts were involved!)
After that, I moved to NYC, where I experience loutishness of a different variety. This is why I don’t want any for $1. I get entirely too many for free.
In New York, we have the Louts that Never Sleep.
Lager Lout
Don’t look at me or say my name
If I’m angry you’re to blame
I’ve just drunk twenty pints of beer
Now I’m puking up right here
I’m scoffing chicken vindaloo
I stick my finger up, f**k you
Say my name and you are dead
My mates and me will kick yer ed
It’s fun to smash up local shops
And then get chased by all the cops
Invincible is what we are
We step in front of any car
Another twenty pints to drain
Before I puke it up again
My wages I’ve just p*ssed away
But I’ll remember sweet F.A.
My Mrs often gets a clout
She calls me f**king lager lout
Don’t look at me or say my name
I’m angry now and you’re to blame
Sure it sounds like a good deal, but I’ll just end up sticking the lout in the garage for a few months and then dumping it at the Goodwill the next time I clean up.
I could use some thank at work though – it’s gotten pretty thankless recently.
Thank you at work.
I prefer my thank to be in a resting state.
I rather like those “Your Thank Dollars at Work” signs on the highway.
More thank you at work.
Wild horses couldn’t drag me to this event.
Oh I don’t know, read from the dictionary what they said they had at their sale and watch their brains explode. That sounds pretty fun.
It would be fun to take a copy of the ad and demand to see the lout that was advertised. And then get real loud and accuse them of false advertising. And make a scene. And leave. Without buying anything. Yeah, that’ll teach ’em.
Would that, though, indeed make you the lout in question?
I- I can’t believe you would front me out like that. Unbelievable! What horrible manners! I can tell you must be a Yankee! Why, down here in the civilized South, we don’t say things like that to someone! We were raised properly! WE SAY IT BEHIND THEIR BACKS!!! 🙂
And we always include a “Bless [her/his] heart.” That way it’s not an insult, it’s just an observation.
“She’s a sweet little thing, but dimmer than a broken light bulb. Bless her heart.”
Why FM, whatev-uh do hue mean?
Really…some people’s chillrun.
Careful what you ask for, FM. Last time I demanded to see the lout, I did……..
Best advice in the ad: “save your $”
Thanks, Spark, that’s just what I’m going to do.
“the biggest garage sale ever toys”
I used to have some of those. I had the table that collapsed, the bald plush toys, and the clothes bag. I used to play garage sale every weekend, from 8 am TO 4 pm. Good times, good times.
Did you have an Early Bird Barbie? You know, the doll who would knock on your door at three in the morning wanting to look over all your stuff, pick out the best of the lot, and offer you half what it was marked?
I hated that doll.
Was a time where those early-birds kept getting earlier and earlier to compete with each other. Got to be where they were calling & door-knocking at 0500; or 2345 the night before.
Got so bad for the PD getting calls for “bird removal” that the City has a GS permitting/registration set-up. Not required, but, if opted for, the PD is more lenient about ad hoc parking and gives you a “zero tolerance” for early birds.
Louts and close are yous ohn ‘spons’bilty.
Your childhood was traumatic wasn’t it Ghostie?
*Packs all his thank into the box*
Ok, put it with the close over there. No, not by the lout! The lout is going to the dump, the thank and close are going to Good Will!
Lara and ToBy are in the box today. Hope you like the new drapes!
But do the drapes match the carpet?
Hah! All y’all that were thinking that, I beat ya to it!
FM, as you say it, I heart ye. You’re that part of my brain that doesn’t get spoken aloud, but has a lot to say.
Just call me Id. 🙂
You can call me SuperEgo… and I think everyone would agree.
You may call me Al.
I am known as Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Fiefings.
But you can call me CJ for short.
Taco: Hearing the term “super ego” has always made me (unsuccessfully) try to picture something in a cape.
FM, you should have been here yesterday. 8)
Noni and I climbed up them a few times, to give them that lived-in look. You’re welcome.
It was exactly like climbing rose bushes in a fancy English garden.
It feels just like home, plenty of cat hair too.
I feel so honored. The competition was tough. I think there were 5 new comments yesterday! LOL
You’re raining on my parade!!
On the 18 and 19 come take a little trip
Bring along some Colonel Sanders; hurry up you might miss it.
We have a little tool and we have a little shoe
And if you come from 8 to 4 you’ll save some money$
We priced our junk and the Louts kept a’comin.
There wasn’t nigh as many as there was a hour ago.
We lowered once more and they began uh runnin’
Most from Moscow and lots from Mexico.
I believe Sparky got a deal on ampersands at his last garage sale.
You can get ampersands fairly easily and cheaply. It’s the good used interrobangs that are expensive.
Who else here uses interrobangs to show off their literary bank?!
I’m lucky to get an interrobang once a month anymore… God, I remember my 20s, when it was every night!
Sharing is scaring, Bombdude. The less I know about how often you punctuate the better.
Taco, the exception is the period – one usually wants them to be occurring regularly, except in occasions where one intends to have a parenthetical situation.
Personally, I think it’s also important to have your colon checked regularly. Just take my great uncle: he didn’t have it checked and now only has a semicolon. For the rest of his life he’ll only be able to have carets.
Parenthetical Situation is my new favorite euphemism.
Parenthetical Situation is my Hole cover band.
*corner*
Deep in the corner.
*also corner*
I was thinking more Britney Spears. Kind of brings a whole new dimension to Oops I Did It Again.
Ok, Taco is channeling Groucho Marx now.
Ah, leisurely, lazy un-hurried, brunch-time interobangs–bring back memories of the French Quarter and calling down stairs for beignets and café au lait with the mélange nusicale de l’Tremé wafting in . . .
There’s more than I needed to know about Cap’n Spaceman.
Ah yes, Mr Spiff –
Moonlight shines on Nawlins memories when I speak her name
Sweet southern lady magnolia baby
welcomes me home once again
Moon light shines on black water wind in the live oak tree
Marsh grass a swaying fireflies a playing bring back those memories to me
I’m guessing that’s a super fancy description of what us commoners call a “nooner”.
Shadoobee!
Schmatta, schmatta, schmatta.
I can get that for you wholesale.
Just remember folks, no thanks are necessary. You must make do with what you have.
I’m shocked that nobody’s seen fit to comment on the link in the title…
Someone brought that up last week when post number 1066 was mentioned. It inspired me to do some wikipedia’ing. I want to go on record as saying that I think William the Conqueror was totally sexy. Awwwww yeah. Just sayin’.
If it’s okay bayeux, I’ll pass on commenting.
There was no electricity in 1066, silly IF.
My comment: I can’t pull it up 🙁
(computer is hating on youtube right now)
ToBy and Lara, here is your collective Punchity Punch Punch! Thanks for the laughs, ladies.
G’Night, Binley Woods, Warwickshire!
I just wanted to say thanks for the link to that YouTube channel. I loved it enough to subscribe to them. Hooray for yet another way to waste time online!