YSaC, Vol. 1046: You and me and bottle makes… I dunno, 87?
have 2 maybe 3 cell phones
i have two maybe 3 cell phones one is a sprint prepaid or contract sell for $50 and the other is a straight talk sell for $50 email me or text me at ###-###-#### both have chargers and work great
OK, Sparky, let’s practice.
This is two cell phones:
This is three cell phones:
This is two cell phones:
This is three cell phones:
This is a baby capybara:
Wait.. how the hell did that get in there? Oh, who cares. Look at the baby capybara! Isn’t it cute? OK, we can work with this.
This is two baby capybaras:
This is THREE baby capybaras:
Please note that in each case, there is a clear and distinct difference between TWO and THREE. Please use these images to practice until you feel you are ready to be allowed back on the internet. If you still can’t figure out two and three after a few days of practice, just stick with the baby animal pictures.
Thanks for the link, Kansmoore!
Sparky, if you upgrade to a smartphone, you can download a catulator app.
I don’t know if Sparky could handle a phone smarter than he is.
By that I mean “any phone”
Even this phone?
Why go to the expense of buying a bluetooth earpiece that will make you look like an insane person who talks to themselves when you can get … whatever this thing is and look like the last orange in the bottom of the bag?
hands-free phones: doing it wrong
One phone
two phone
Red phone
Blue phone.
Black phone
Blue phone
Old phone
New phone
This one has
a little star.
This one has a little mar.
Say! What a lot
of phones there are.
Yes. Some are red. And some are blue.
Some are old. And some are new.
Some are sad.
And some are glad.
And some are very, very bad.
Why are they
sad and glad and bad?
I do not know.
Go ask your dad
*LOVE*
Smiling so early at work on a Monday morning…priceless!
Thanks, CD.
Hmm, that last picture looks like 2 1/2 little capybara and 1/4 of a big capybara, but then I was never very good at fractions.
Also, apropos linky…
YAY! Llama llama duck! I have an interview today, did you do that to me on purpose Jen?
So if I call that number, which phone is going to ring?
(Sorry about the lukewarm snark… I’ve been up since 10am… yesterday. And I’m not going to bed until 1pm… today. Shifting into graveyard schedule sucks monkey balls. Frozen monkey balls, even. )
“Monkey balls”? “FROZEN monkey balls”? It’s only Monday and the HATE IS STARTING ALREADY!!!!
Srsly, I feel for you Sister. I’ve worked the graveyard shift, and it’s hard. Hang in there.
What’s your problem FM? You don’t even have Monkey Balls… frozen or otherwise.
Now Mr. Monkey on the other hand…
You’d be surprized….wink wink.
*shudder*
What?
This reminds me of the time I tried that “insomnia” thing….it worked, for a while…but I kept falling asleep.
Total fail.
Seriously Sister….I work at a power plant and our ops guys work rotating shifts, days one week, nights the next, days and nights the next, and one week off. It’s crazy, and the older you get the guys tell me it physically hurts. At the very least, you can take comfort in the fact that you will eventually adjust.
Yes, and it might not be for that long… one of the guys I work with is trying to put in for a supervisor position at another of our facilities… if he gets that, the slightly less new girl will probably be given the option of taking his shift (his shift is pretty awesome…) and I would probably be given the chance to take hers. Some shuffling would occur and I’d most likely be put back on swings and they’d find someone else to work the graveyard shift once they’re properly trained. I mean, it only took them 5 weeks to train me.
That is brutal!
Paramedics have pretty brutal shifts too.
A buddy of mine worked the following when he had just gotten paramedic certified: 1 24 hour shift followed by 12 hours off. Then a 12 hour shift followed by a day off, then a 4 hour paperwork and meeting shift. He gets the rest of the week off… unless somebody doesn’t show up for their shift. If that’s the case, he gets called in to fill.
He said that 24 hour shift really screws up your schedule for the rest of the week, and just when you’re starting to approach a human-like schedule, you have your next 24 hour shift. Though working all of your 40 hour week by midday on Thursday with having Wednesday off was pretty cool, so he says.
I don’t think I could work that kind of schedule, especially with the added “saving people” stress. I know what I’m like after 24-36 hours without sleep and I don’t trust myself to operate a coffeemaker, much less make decisions that could affect a person’s life.
A family member is a fireman/paramedic and his schedule is 24 on and 48 off….all the time. I think if you can get on one schedule, and not have to change it, it’s easier.
But, what do I know? I’m a day-shifter and fall asleep when the sun goes down.
[first responder corey stuff]
Many FD operate on 24 hour shifts, which goes back to paying people to sleep over/near the apparatus. Typical rotation is 24 on 48 off, and OT is not calculated until the end of the month, not in a week. The alternate rotation being 24 on 24 off; 24 on 48 off; repeat. That one gives more “weekends” just at very odd times of the week.
LE (some EMS) often run on 12 hour shifts, “days”/”nights” with 3 x 12 on, day off, 12 on again, two days’ off. That gives 48 per week, and a 192 hour month for OT ciphering. It, too, features a “rolling” two day weekend. But since it’s consistent “half” days, a person can “moonlight” in the off time.
In days of old, LE would work a “four” shift, where you had Days, Swing, Nights, then Weekend “Graveyard” where your were scheduled for 8 hours, but put in 10 for overlapping coverage. For municipalities, this was not good as you need more people to fill that many shift openings. Also bad for being a 50 hour base week, so there was 2 hours’ OT on top of all the “shift premiums” paid out (where 2nd/swing is paid ±5% more, and 3rd/nights ±10% more).
EMS winds up being a mix of both. The transport-only operations tend to 12’s; the “paramedic” operations tend to 24’s–often for being attached to the FD payroll and infrastructure.
The academic studies seem to concur that concentrating paramedic services with FD works better, for having additional manpower available to need, per call. this, despite arguments about “nodal” delivery, or of rousing out sleeping personnel.
The nodal argument is where you concentrate a service at various nodes, and it waits to respond to need. Distributed service has the services wandering about a service area, potentially being in place at or before need. LE is considered to be a benefit just driving around a service area, so they are almost always distributed–which means they much have shorter shifts, since they cannot sleep on the job.
This gets to similar complicated when utility worker availability is considered.
[/worn out from corey-ing]
Mr. Eyebrows works a graveyard shift much of the time. Rough on internal scheduling as well as external. You have my sympathy, Sister.
My first job out of college was a swing shift job–1500 to 0100, in the daytime yuppie centroid of 80’s Dallas. It was like being on Hawaii time. My lunch was always at supper-time menu prices, being about 1800. If I saw any business/age peers, they were able to drink, yuck it up, all that sort of thing.
My “five” (except for mandated unpaid OT) was 0100, so I was as sober as the bar help, the patrons all thoroughly beer-goggled by then. If I wanted to go to a mall or other shopping, I had to get up “before 7” to do so.
Worst of all was that the firm required unpaid OT, so that “half day” on Saturdays that was 1200 to 1700 for “us” was like being told to come to work at 0500 instead of 0800.
There are cities in the UK where phones are ‘stolen to order’ thus “2 maybe 3 cellphones’ makes perfect sense……or not.
That depends on if one of the stolen phones gets snapped in half during the heist. Double your phones instantly!
I used to do that with fishing worms, one long worm would make two average-sized worms, but I didn’t know cell phones had progressed to the level of invertebrate.
:scampers off to whittle old phone into a pair of matching watches:
Other things often break in two in order to make more…
I think I might be sick just from that description.
Woo, cell phone mitosis!
I think I had that once. Dr. gave me a salve for it… Cleared up in about 3 days…
The use of the description “mucousy” to describe anything used for food…
Ew.
I’m still thinking Spark will give up their own phone, too, iffin anys dum’nuff to buy the other two.
My first thought was stolen phones as well. He hasn’t stolen the third one YET
Sparky had three cell phones (and, coincidentally three capybara babies), but you know…..ninjas.
I’ve heard about these new Heisenberg Uncertainty Phones; attempting to count the number you have affects the outcome.
And attempting to dial the correct number affects the outcome of who you call. (I don’t know exactly how or why, though – that’s part of the uncertainty.)
The guys over at Batwings Lab came up with the Quantum Uncertainty Implied Dialer. It was really cool. All one had to do was choose any sequence of ten numbers and the phone would connect to the person you wanted to call.
Didn’t know they had made it to market.
Maybe one phone is pregnant…
Since Sparky seems unsure of how many phones he has, I’m guessing the pregnancy test was inconclusive.
Sparky: It’s got 4 bars! That means it’s a boy, right? *consults packaging*
If it’s got 4 bars it’s drunk enough to get pregnant.
I bet it’s one of those slutty little pay-as-you-go phones, too.
Rimshot, HamCan.
And I thought the worse thing you could download was a virus.
No comments about how heavy the phone is getting… she’s texting for two now. We need to be sensitive to her condition.
I wonder how she will explain it when the new arrival turns out to NOT be a smart phone.
Sparklephone would have some ‘splaining to do.
“Honey, it’s a beautiful baby … iPod? What the hell?!?”
Considering the way the OTC pregnancy testing devices, ah, “work”–I’m really not interested in handling any of those phones . . .
Is there an app for that?
Yes it’s called the iPEEd…
Yes! Perfect! Bwahahahahahahah! Snort! I think I actually did pee a little on that one.
You’re hot today little puppy.
My Sparky, he has three cell phones,
Three cell phones has my Sparky.
And had he not three cellphones,
He would not be my Sparky.
Gee, thanks for the “My Hat has Three Corners” earworm
Those Capybara hands could never dial one or two or even three phones.
Asexual phones! All the companies are making them now! Probably not on purpose. You buy a phone today and have twenty tomorrow. Talk about roaming charges.
Wait, were they at some point marketing sexual phones?
I is scared now.
Wait, I’m plugging this equation into my capybaraulator…
Yes, of course I have a capybaraulator. Doesn’t everyone? Catulators are SO last millennium…
Noooooooo! And I just BOUGHT one! That’s why it was so cheap.
I just bought two, or was it three?
“Cellphones are funny
Sometimes are two, sometimes three”
Sparky is clueless.
Dave, you changed your tribe. That gives me an idea.
Dave, does this mean the ferret is a lie?
The ferret put on some weight. We’re trying not to mention it.
Wait, I thought you could only “re-home” a catulator?
Sparky has X number of phones. He gets three calls from
suckerspeople wanting to buy the phones. Sparky puts all the phones in a drawer and leaves them alone overnight. Solve for X.I think X should solve his own problems.
Oh, if Noni shows up today, somebody throw her in the box, okay?
I made it! I ran all the way here…. but I run slow. It’s not my fault. I’d rather throw things than run… OOH, I’m going to throw things around the box.
Noni, we just redecorated in there! Jump on the trampoline if you like, but don’t throw the potted planters!
But I WANT to! Pleeeeeeease???
Oh, I want those three cell phones! Could you just steal me a third? Thx.
I’ll buy those five phones-
Three sir.
I’ll buy those three phones-
Two sir.
You know what, forget the phones. I’ll take a six pack of baby capybara and a side of bread sticks.
You want those with bluetooth?
… Yes.
Capybara!
squeeeee!!!!!!
Biggest rodent in the world or not, they are cute. Especially the babies.
… All right, back to Monday morning.
Mmmmm, Meatloaf!
Baby we can talk a-all night, but only if we buy enough minutes
I bought you every phone card that Wal-Mart had, there’s nothin’ left inside of there
And maybe you can whine a-all night, but that’ll never cha-ange the daytime rate
The MMS charges are really piling up my bill, I wish you wouldn’t make me text you
I turned it off and but you turned it back on. I tried to show you just how much I paid
I typed the words cuz I’m too hoarse to shout
But you’ve messaged to me so long, I’m cryin’ Gmail instead of tears
And all I can do, is keep on tellin’ you
I want two (I want two), I need two (I need two)
But there ain’t no way-ay I’m ever gonna pay for three
Now don’t be sad (don’t be sad ’cause)
‘Cause two out of three ai-ain’t bad
Now don’t – be-ee sad, ’cause two out of three ain’t bad
Got any catch up?
but what does a capybara need a cellphone for?
removes extra “c”
Done. 8)
So their agent can call them for further modeling contracts.
*crickets*
I would like to buy the third phone for $50 maybe $3.
Hi Bianchi!
Noni, I so wish you would join us on Facebook. 8) Here’s your Punchity Punch Punch. Now I have to go back to the conversation about secret messages on bananas.
G’Night, Würzburg,!
I practiced for a couple of days and still have dificulties. Maybe if it was for baby hamsters…
AWW! Thank you for the unexpected squee. At first, I was all, like, “I love how Craigslist posters seem confused about the basics – such as how many items they have for sale.” And then I was all, like, “I’m sure Dan will make fun of the counting problem in his usual hilarious way.” And then I was all, like, “OMG! UNEXPECTED CAPYBARA BABIES! YAY!”
Any day with unexpected capybaras is a very good day, indeed.
Those capybaras so very tickled my fancy!
Also, my computer does not recognize capybaras as a word. I disown my computer.
OMG, Arallyn!!!! Welcome back. And join the YSAC group on FB if you haven’t already.
I was added to it before I even knew it existed! xP I’m not on Facebook much, but I sometimes have a bit of a chat when I’m on there and the conversation is relevant.
You need two, maybe three cellphones when the capybaras grow up. They can block your access if you only have one.
For more capering capybaras, go here and here.