carpet clothing
NUETERAL CARPET 11 BY 16 50 DOLLARS WOMEN AND GIRLS SUMMER CLOTHINGSIZES 6TO10.
Yes, but does the carpet match the drapes?
It doesn’t specify the pile height of the carpet. Personally, in summer I prefer a nice berber; it’s just too hot for shag!
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What women’s or girls’ size corresponds to 11 by 16? If it’s “nueteral,” does that make it easier to accessorize?
11 by 16 is for … girls and women whose dimensions are almost as wide as they are tall?
Nueteral carpet is the preferred flooring by IT hipsters with computers that run eunuchs.
Help control the carpet population, have your carpets sprayed or nuetered.
And remember – there are plenty of bathmats and throw rugs available for adoption at your local shelter!
I had a throw rug once. It peed on itself, so I had to scold it.
All my throw rugs tend to barf. I guess that’s the nature of the beast.
Mine kept clawing itself.
Those deep pile ones are high-maintenance – they just constantly shed all over themselves.
I find that spraying carpets with a little Scotchguard after an accident really helps to teach them not to go all over themselves.
If only they would stay cute and small like that.
If you like ’em little, try one of the smaller breeds. Some of those coasters and trivets are absolutely adorable!
I’ve heard Paris Hilton has a teacup hairless hot pad that’s to drool for. She takes it everywhere she goes. It’s so small it can fit inside her clutch along with her
cocainegum.My aunt had a toy doily. Yappy little thing but I had to admit it was cute.
Toy doilies I had heard were very high strung (over breeding I suppose). Plus, the white ones tend to get that rust streak buildup at the corner of their eyes.
I recommend an heirloom breed, like an antimacassar.
Vintage….niiiiice!
Remember, folks, carpets are for forever, not just for Christmas.
My problem is Easter. I always fall in love with the new spring carpet litters. I forget about the upkeep and the shots and the [nueteraling] and city licensing and taking them for walks.
Carpet kennels just don’t substitute for that human contact that baby rugs need.
Sparky’s trying to peddle girl’s carpet on CraigsList? I forsee a visit from Chris Hansen in his future.
“No, that can’t be right! She told me her carpet was 18!”
“Can you explain why you brought the Resolve, sir?”
“I only came by to sit at this kitchen island and drink sweet tea. Honest!”
It was. 18′ x 24′!
Better than trying to piddle on a girl’s carpet?
Ew. I just squicked myself out.
Who’s got the big jug of brain bleach?
The only way to go with this is Stainmaster. I insist that all my husband’s unmentionables have this designer label.
Last time I went dancing I saw a woman with a dress just like this. She could really cut a rug.
*engage catulator* *add special kibble*
11 x 16 50 dollars = U / women and girls (summer)
equals bassonette rutabaga
It must be too early for cat math.
If I add a few punctuation marks for clarification, it seems Sparky is offering “Nueteral carpet (11×16), 50 dollars, women, and girls. Summer clothing size 6 to 10.” Presumably the clothing is separate, and the neutered carpet, dollars, and females are available naked.
Personally, I prefer some items that are able to reproduce, particularly dollars.
I like taking naked dollars with me when I go out for drinks. Bartenders love them for tips!
I like registering them with “Where’s Naked George?” and see where in the country they end up.
And my scan was:
Neutral 11 BY 16.
50 DOLLARS.
Women and Girl’s Summer Cloning.
SIZESSale 6 TO 10.Thus,
Sparky has some Zone of Anacrhy, within which are some persons available for reproductive research, but only between the hours of either 0600-1000 or 1800-2200 (when the cops ain’t out or some such)
Ergo, this is a thinly-disguised Professional Services ad (or yet another Sparky who believes that nothing is illegal if advertised on CL).
I swear by summer cloning! Cells grow so much better at that time of year.
OMG, Nooooooo!
What, what, what if it’s SparkySpeeling and is Summer Clowning
**flees**
Summer Clowning = need for seasonal coulrophobia shot.
< really, really, ominous music>
not-sprayed, not nueteral-ed summer rug clown CLONING
**ghak!; flees more**
It helps if you read the ad in the voice of John Belusi: “Your women… Sell them to me…”
Would he, or would he not be wearing the killer bee costume?
Yes.
Is the answer always “yes” when referring to questions about killer bee costumes?
🙂
Probably. 8)
Maybe “NUETERAL” is supposed to be NUTELLA?
That would make much more sense.
*brain bombarded with “carpet eating” jokes*
*runs into corner at lightspeed*
:reads TBS’s comment:
:joins Lola in the corner:
I thought you either have “carpet eating” or “nuts”; but you couldn’t have both.
Oy, now I’m so confused.
🙁
Personally, I prefer my carpet eating to be done by those with nuts. But that’s just me.
*goes to corner*
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
I … just decided it’s time to replace all the carpeting in my house with lineoleum.
Wouldn’t you replace all the carpeting in your house with Limeoleum?
I’ve got to protect the line … somewhere!
Ooh…sorry…that crack about using lime skins for your floors sounded insensitive. Where was my head?
Limeoleum sounds like a fancy mixed drink, the kind garnished with fruit and a little umbrella or some tacking nails.
[arboro-lignate OT corey]
Limewood is considered an excellent product, with a light color and a fine, light grain. The bark and sapwood are not considered to be a high-quality wood product, which would make their use in linoleum a rather smart thing.
Oh, and while deep in trivia, linoleum has a certain natural anti-biotic condition, which makes it a preferred flooring material for certain businesses. Linoleum is a very “green” product, too (only weaknesses being the process of solidifying linseed oil and the energy needed to roll the sheet goods out in the factory).
[/corey]
DO NOT WANT.
Better than my first read as “nutria” (eek, manta de rata grande)
Isn’t the Nutria the state rodent of Tejas?
😉
Not that I’d heard, but, the last Session (and Special Session) just ended, they are still gazetting all the minutiae thereof.
Do know that they are a bit of a scourge in the woods in south Louisiana. (And not considered very good eatin’ by the Cajuns dah’n’sou, not e’en for gumbo.)
Yeah, well….the carpet crawlers heed their callers! I heard that in the book of Genesis.
Mudslicker wins today’s prize! I’m so excited you got that reference.
Alas, I need ‘magic’ carpet clothing.
Neveryoumind what I need them for, but… I can tell you that it involves Ewan McGregor. Oh, and some ice cream. But I really can’t tell you any more than that.
edit: Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost my ability to spell. I blame Ewan.. naughty… ahem. Gotta go.
Well, at leats you didn’t blaem me.
Too hot for shag? Usually I just pop open a window or turn on the AC. Make sure you don’t have the flannel sheets on too, or else…
–mwuh MWUH mwuhmwuh, mwumwuh MWUH–
Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am. Corner it is. *sigh*
Too Hot For Shag is IF’s Rod Stewart cover band.
The Charlie Brown adult-speak bit is the best part of your comment.* Now back to futilely attempting to give it more doors for that reason.
*If I’m wrong about this and it’s some other reference, I don’t care. It’s Friday afternoon and Happy Hour is 3.5 hours from now (contrary to likely impression from comments, I don’t in fact always have a flask with me, I just like the idea of having one to hand).
That is precisely what I was going for. 🙂 Glad it translated.
Tired of buying carpet, and then 2 years later having to replace it because it’s the “wrong color” or “out of style”? Well, with new Carpet Clothing, no more! Just start with a
neutralnueteral color, and you can dress it up any way you like! Carpet clothing is quick and easy to change, and comes in sizes 6 to 10, for all different size rooms!Do you have anything in a Berber with capris? I’m looking for something casual.
I’d like a Gomer Pile with flip flops.
Go-o-olly!
I’d gladly take 16 50-dollar-bills.
Dave and Ferret Tribe, please accept this Punchity Punch Punch on behalf of everyone who chimed in after you. 8)
G’Night, Pazyryk!