YSaC, Vol. 1028: I sure hope there’s no knot for me.
2011 July 6
The Winner of the 2014 Suck Off is (Drum roll, please)
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*HamCan! Hooray!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition. […] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at… | |
2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all! […] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […] | |
bianchisound on YSaC, Vol CXCII In case anyone ever checks. I just saw this ad and missed everyone here. Enjoy! https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/pho/d/nellis-afb-womans-feet/7164431024.html | |
Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1800: So long, and thanks for all the bees. Wow, itโs amazing to finally find this site. Iโd say Iโm late in getting here, but I know Iโm right… | |
Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring. I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere… |
Here's a few of our favorite posts:
Copyright 2024 You Suck at Craigslist
Pecil.
Gigglestick.
giggity
Pecil should be on fire.
They make an ointment for that now.
:holds up bottle of gelled lighter fluid:
See?
Gelled lighter fluid – isn’t that, essentially, napalm? Bombdude, can you corey this up for us?
[napalm corey] For all intents and purposes here, yes. Napalm actually refers to the thickening/gelling agent that is mixed with the flammable liquid, such as gasoline, or, in this case lighter fluid (technically known as “naptha”). However, much like “Kleenex” it became the generally used generic name for the end product. [/napalm corey]
“I love the smell of thickening agents in the morning!”
Yeah, that doesn’t have the same ring to it.
And here I thought you were going to say, “I love the smell of Kleenex in the morning!”
Drat, my radar scope is leaning a tad to the left.
As long as it’s not “I love the smell of pecils in the morning”.
Detachable Pecil?
King Missle reference = made my day.
King Missile too!
I love it!
“Knot” for me.
Okay, everyone – form a neat column and proceed directly into the corners. Hey! No shoving, you’ll all fit in eventually. I’ve got some firm coffee slices fresh from the oven-pot if anyone wants one. If you need a stiff drink, just see Lola for the flask.
Could we make some coffee slices with Lola’s stiff drink?
Sorry, MF, my stiffy is single-user-only. 8)
*drum fill*
Thank you, thank YOU! Make sure to tip your waitresses – they’re far too boring just standing upright like that.
May we please find a word other than “stiff”?
Please choose your preferred synonym from one of the following 8 options:
Rigid, tumescent, firm, hard, dense, substantial, unyielding, arthritic
I prefer the word ossified. It doesn’t appear to be in a viable choice column.
Mmmm, tumescent.
Wait, what?
I’ll be over here, in the … yeah.
“Tumescent” is just too close to “tumorous” for my liking. Gives me the willies.
It was squicking me out ’cause all I kept hearing was pubescent—The Shroud of Turin: The Teenage Years.
Also not good.
“the willies”
Heh. Heh heh. Awesome.
Hmm, never heard one refered to as “dense” before.
That’s usually reserved for the thing attached to i-*goes and hides in corner*
Yes, I’ve also not heard one referred to as “arthritic” before. Somehow just doesn’t seem like it will be taken well. Although arthritic might be a better way to describe the pecil table.
On another note, I wonder how it would look with an actual plant on top. Something tells me not good.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that’s going to be in the corner today (and that was just for my thoughts).
Well, if I wasn’t headed to the corner already, I am now.
Hrmm, I don’t see any room in the corner for me.. Ooh! I know! *Pulls out his blankie and hides under it*
I’ve seen this before, I know it. Oh, yes! I remember, now! Poor horse.
How ironic that this is a woodcut. Gotta love the Renaissance.
Why?
Because the renaissance was full of pervs — then as now, apparently. ๐ (Rule 34 is way older than you think.)
Pervs? Is that some sort of Medici inspired art guild?
Rule 34. Heh.
Wooden any comment be superfluous and knot in good taste?
I hope no one plants on being too vulgar. 8)
That’s some really great wood. *It’s gunna be cramped in the corner today*
I’m shocked no one has made any splinters remarks…….
The hot dogs and hallways gambit hasn’t been put in play yet. (This is the weirdest game of Mornington Crescent I’ve ever played.)
+ a brazillion doors for the Mornington Crescent reference. I didn’t know they played ISIHAC in Canadialand – I assumed Fox News served that purpose for you…
You can stream the Beeb here in the states (as I do) and listen that way, too. ๐
We have our own Beeb station here on digital cable, BBC Canada, though it doesn’t have a lot of UK content on it (at least partly due to CanCon regulations). Moreover though, Mornington Crescent survives as an almost-obscure meme on the ‘net these days, though it’s mostly among those who are at least passingly familiar with its show of origin. Me, though, I’m just a big fan of britcoms.
What kind of plants would you put on this?
Maidenhair fern? Goldenrod? Bachelor’s button?
Sweet william? Wait, wait, I know!
Poke salad!
Get it? Poke? Nevermind….
In my brother and sister-in-law’s neighborhood, there is a crazy lady who has a urinal mounted on her fence. I have suggested creeping over there at night, plugging the plumbing part with a cork, and then planting a highly suggestive looking plant in it. It would be a drive by gardening. Nobody has taken me up on the idea. ๐
Amorphophallus titanum
Hah! I Googled that cause I thought you made it up! What a horrible name for a flower. To me that translates to “metal wee-wee”.
morpho = dead
so it’s a DEAD metal pecil.
The literal translation is “giant misshapen penis”.
Oh…I try not to never take things literally. ๐
Amorpho=having no shape
soooo… (without going all literal and stuff) shapeshifting metal pecil
“Be whatever you need to be!”
That would make it … Transformers porn?
Oh Optimus Prime, you’re so sexy with your metal and ability to change into a truck. *cue porn music*
babbysbreath (Gypsophila paniculata); horny goat weed (Epimedium elongatum), and of course, Larix decidua, the Larch.
I was thinking along the lines of the baby’s breath. Big bunches of white flowers would definitely complete this thing.
This would look kind of awesome on that naked lady table.
Seriously. Knot.a.plant.stand
This really neeeds one of those “clown-with-penis-cactus” planters on it.
Throw in a fake spider, and I think you’ve got the Unholy Trinity of Scary Things (TM) there.
Depressy with prickly priapism. Now THAT’S a visual!
๐
Prickly Priapism is the name of my Sex Pistols cover band.
I would have figured it for Nine Inch Nails.
This plant stand would look quite nice in an entryway; just conceal the base with some artfully trimmed shrubbery.
Maybe put a little hat on top.
Or
dress it up like a ninja turtledrape a raincoat over it.What, no bedazzling?
How does the umbrella stand feel sharing its space?
I believe it’s called an unblubler stand.
A little violated.
Hey, look – a shovel!
:starts digging:
BARE ON A PLANT STAND!
PLANT ON A BEAR STAND!!!!
*awwwww Yogi….*
Mr. Ranger isn’t going to like this. Mrs. Ranger on the other hand — hey, I just got out of the corner! dang. quit pushing.
I’d like to distract everybody with some YSaC business. First, Mindfield is in the box, but at least 6, maybe more, of you contributors to yesterday’s songfest deserve to be there as well. You make my job very difficult, and I thank you for that. No, really. 8)
Second, if anyone survived the meet-up yesterday, could you let the rest of us homebound types know how it went? What mysteries were revealed? Will the world end following a YSaC convention?
Thanks! Now, back to the show.
I agree, yesterday’s songfest was excellent.
As for the meetup yesterday – well, there’s only one thing to say: The Llamanun and Ostrimu (BBUT) are even more awesome in person than they are online. I laughed so much my face hurt.
Your whole face or just your eyes and nose?
::looks at your gravitar…::
Do you ever bump your head when you laugh?
I am taking the high road: The base of this stand reminds me of Slimer, the green specter from Ghostbusters.
It’s a marital aid for the 50 foot woman!
I think it should be place at the front door with a platter to serve drinks from.
Mike’s Hard Lemonade?
Front door of what? A strip club?
A Gentleman’s Club Lola, that’s much classier.
I’m a bit fuzzy on the scale. Looks like a California Raisin got morphed with a Johnsonville brat.
An unholy love child of sausage and dried fruit. The sausage denied paternity until they had the paternity test done on Maury’s show.
I feel like there should be a caterpillar smoking a hookah on top of that thing.
[grumpy for having unresolved CRS today corey]
There’s a botanical term for the way a tree grows over an insult, like a torn or damaged limb. A tree will also form such structures (not that my brain nor wiki can find the terminology [knarfstriggleschitch]) around insect infestations.
So, this “unique” wood structure is really less burl and more lignate wart or wen.
So, yeah, Sparky wants us to take this and like it–this won;y hurt, did it?
[/incomplete arboreal anatomy corey]
gnarl?
“Burl” is the woodworking term for when knots and lignotubers are completely subsumed into the heartwood.
But, there is a term for when a tree “cures” an insult to the xylem and is covered in vascular cambium encapsulating the insult, often on a lobular or globulous form–which are not particularly nice to open and use in wood working (for being filled with all manner of debris and detritus, tars, pitches, and resinous saps).
I think I might be the only one who sees a stomach or a liver. That doesn’t seem corner worthy.
It is if you see that either of those organs are reading PORN and smoking a bong*!!!!
*I may or may not see this. It’s either that—or dolphins.
So that’s why I have been sleeping poorly and having really weird dreams lately… My liver has been staying up late reading PORN!!!
Maybe I should cut down on the evening bourbon. Liver get’s a little tipsy and then gets randy…
Wow, this is an empty room, save for the corner over there. Probably a fire code violation, but I’ll make an exception since I’m likely to be part of the problem soon.
In other news, it looks to me like a shillelagh with a base. *Insert dirty Irish joke here*
Steve! We need to add you in to the YSAC group! ๐
ETA: Except I can’t find you on my list. Please look us up and join us.
When and where is this group? I have been quite busy, so I have been absent from normal snarkitude.
Facebook. I don’t see you on my list (thought you were) but look for the YSAC page and see about us there. ๐
If your pecil has a circular flat end like that you will never get laid. Never.
Unless your ultimate fantasy is to have sexy time with a manhole.
I mean that literally. That wasn’t a euphemism for Lindsay Lohan or anything.
I wonder if it has plans friday night? Sigh…
::immediately walks to the corner…but grabs the cute boy she has a YSAC crush on to join her::
We have a cute boy in here?!!
*psst* Lara, do you think she means Astro?
Anyway you look at it, 10 dollars is awfully cheap for some alone time with a wooden knot plant stand.
Okay, Mindfield, here’s your 100 bazillionth punchity punch punch. But who’s counting. I gave it up for Lent.
G’Night, Burl Wood!