YSaC, Vol. 1028: I sure hope there’s no knot for me.

2011 July 6

Wooden Knot Plant Stand – $10


one-of-a-kind

Thank god.

(and thanks to Amy for the link.)

102 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 July 6
    Lola permalink

    Pecil.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 July 6

      Gigglestick.

      Adores: 8
    • 2011 July 6
      Windrose permalink

      Pecil should be on fire.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 July 6

        They make an ointment for that now.

        :holds up bottle of gelled lighter fluid:

        See?

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 July 6
          Lola permalink

          Gelled lighter fluid – isn’t that, essentially, napalm? Bombdude, can you corey this up for us?

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 6
          Bombdude permalink

          [napalm corey] For all intents and purposes here, yes. Napalm actually refers to the thickening/gelling agent that is mixed with the flammable liquid, such as gasoline, or, in this case lighter fluid (technically known as “naptha”). However, much like “Kleenex” it became the generally used generic name for the end product. [/napalm corey]

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 July 6

          “I love the smell of thickening agents in the morning!”

          Yeah, that doesn’t have the same ring to it.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 July 6
          mud "" slicker permalink

          And here I thought you were going to say, “I love the smell of Kleenex in the morning!”

          Drat, my radar scope is leaning a tad to the left.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 6
          funky monkey permalink

          As long as it’s not “I love the smell of pecils in the morning”.

          Adores: 5
    • 2011 July 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Detachable Pecil?

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 July 6
        Lola permalink

        King Missle reference = made my day.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 6
          mud "" slicker permalink

          King Missile too!

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 8
        Yutolia permalink

        I love it!

        Adores: 0
  2. 2011 July 6
    Innana permalink

    “Knot” for me.

    Adores: 2
  3. 2011 July 6

    Okay, everyone – form a neat column and proceed directly into the corners. Hey! No shoving, you’ll all fit in eventually. I’ve got some firm coffee slices fresh from the oven-pot if anyone wants one. If you need a stiff drink, just see Lola for the flask.

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 July 6

      Could we make some coffee slices with Lola’s stiff drink?

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 July 6
        Lola permalink

        Sorry, MF, my stiffy is single-user-only. 8)

        Adores: 8
        • 2011 July 6
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          *drum fill*

          Thank you, thank YOU! Make sure to tip your waitresses – they’re far too boring just standing upright like that.

          Adores: 13
    • 2011 July 6

      May we please find a word other than “stiff”?

      Adores: 8
      • 2011 July 6

        Please choose your preferred synonym from one of the following 8 options:

        Rigid, tumescent, firm, hard, dense, substantial, unyielding, arthritic

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 6
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I prefer the word ossified. It doesn’t appear to be in a viable choice column.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 6
          Lola permalink

          Mmmm, tumescent.

          Wait, what?
          I’ll be over here, in the … yeah.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 6

          “Tumescent” is just too close to “tumorous” for my liking. Gives me the willies.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 July 6
          mud "" slicker permalink

          It was squicking me out ’cause all I kept hearing was pubescent—The Shroud of Turin: The Teenage Years.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 6

          Also not good.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 6
          funky monkey permalink

          “the willies”

          Heh. Heh heh. Awesome.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 July 6
          monkeypizzasonic permalink

          Hmm, never heard one refered to as “dense” before.

          That’s usually reserved for the thing attached to i-*goes and hides in corner*

          Adores: 2
      • 2011 July 8
        Yutolia permalink

        Yes, I’ve also not heard one referred to as “arthritic” before. Somehow just doesn’t seem like it will be taken well. Although arthritic might be a better way to describe the pecil table.

        On another note, I wonder how it would look with an actual plant on top. Something tells me not good.

        Adores: 0
    • 2011 July 6
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      I’m glad I’m not the only one that’s going to be in the corner today (and that was just for my thoughts).

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 July 6
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Well, if I wasn’t headed to the corner already, I am now.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 July 7
        Sinvius The Pink! (I hope) permalink

        Hrmm, I don’t see any room in the corner for me.. Ooh! I know! *Pulls out his blankie and hides under it*

        Adores: 1
  4. 2011 July 6

    I’ve seen this before, I know it. Oh, yes! I remember, now! Poor horse.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 July 6
      mud "" slicker permalink

      How ironic that this is a woodcut. Gotta love the Renaissance.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 July 6
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Why?

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 July 6

        Because the renaissance was full of pervs — then as now, apparently. ๐Ÿ™‚ (Rule 34 is way older than you think.)

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 6
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Pervs? Is that some sort of Medici inspired art guild?

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 6
          funky monkey permalink

          Rule 34. Heh.

          Adores: 0
  5. 2011 July 6
    LimeLolly permalink

    Wooden any comment be superfluous and knot in good taste?
    I hope no one plants on being too vulgar. 8)

    Adores: 9
  6. 2011 July 6
    Lou Stool permalink

    That’s some really great wood. *It’s gunna be cramped in the corner today*

    Adores: 4
  7. 2011 July 6
    CoffDrop permalink

    I’m shocked no one has made any splinters remarks…….

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 July 6

      The hot dogs and hallways gambit hasn’t been put in play yet. (This is the weirdest game of Mornington Crescent I’ve ever played.)

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 July 6
        Je "Knot the Nine O'Clock News" n permalink

        + a brazillion doors for the Mornington Crescent reference. I didn’t know they played ISIHAC in Canadialand – I assumed Fox News served that purpose for you…

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 6
          Lola permalink

          You can stream the Beeb here in the states (as I do) and listen that way, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 6

          We have our own Beeb station here on digital cable, BBC Canada, though it doesn’t have a lot of UK content on it (at least partly due to CanCon regulations). Moreover though, Mornington Crescent survives as an almost-obscure meme on the ‘net these days, though it’s mostly among those who are at least passingly familiar with its show of origin. Me, though, I’m just a big fan of britcoms.

          Adores: 2
  8. 2011 July 6
    Innana permalink

    What kind of plants would you put on this?
    Maidenhair fern? Goldenrod? Bachelor’s button?

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 July 6
      funky monkey permalink

      Sweet william? Wait, wait, I know!

      Poke salad!

      Get it? Poke? Nevermind….

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 July 6
        Lara permalink

        In my brother and sister-in-law’s neighborhood, there is a crazy lady who has a urinal mounted on her fence. I have suggested creeping over there at night, plugging the plumbing part with a cork, and then planting a highly suggestive looking plant in it. It would be a drive by gardening. Nobody has taken me up on the idea. ๐Ÿ™

        Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 6
      mud "" slicker permalink

      Amorphophallus titanum

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 July 6
        funky monkey permalink

        Hah! I Googled that cause I thought you made it up! What a horrible name for a flower. To me that translates to “metal wee-wee”.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 6
          mud "" slicker permalink

          morpho = dead

          so it’s a DEAD metal pecil.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 6

          The literal translation is “giant misshapen penis”.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 6
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Oh…I try not to never take things literally. ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 6
          Bombdude permalink

          Amorpho=having no shape

          soooo… (without going all literal and stuff) shapeshifting metal pecil

          “Be whatever you need to be!”

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 July 6

          That would make it … Transformers porn?

          Adores: 10
      • 2011 July 6
        Lara permalink

        Oh Optimus Prime, you’re so sexy with your metal and ability to change into a truck. *cue porn music*

        Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 6
      CapnMac permalink

      babbysbreath (Gypsophila paniculata); horny goat weed (Epimedium elongatum), and of course, Larix decidua, the Larch.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 8
        Yutolia permalink

        I was thinking along the lines of the baby’s breath. Big bunches of white flowers would definitely complete this thing.

        Adores: 0
  9. 2011 July 6
    Windrose permalink

    This would look kind of awesome on that naked lady table.

    Adores: 4
  10. 2011 July 6
    camille permalink

    Seriously. Knot.a.plant.stand

    Adores: 5
  11. 2011 July 6
    Lou Stool permalink

    This really neeeds one of those “clown-with-penis-cactus” planters on it.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 July 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Throw in a fake spider, and I think you’ve got the Unholy Trinity of Scary Things (TM) there.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 July 6
      mud "" slicker permalink

      Depressy with prickly priapism. Now THAT’S a visual!

      ๐Ÿ™‚

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 July 6
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Prickly Priapism is the name of my Sex Pistols cover band.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 July 6
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I would have figured it for Nine Inch Nails.

          Adores: 1
  12. 2011 July 6

    This plant stand would look quite nice in an entryway; just conceal the base with some artfully trimmed shrubbery.

    Maybe put a little hat on top.

    Or dress it up like a ninja turtle drape a raincoat over it.

    Adores: 13
    • 2011 July 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      What, no bedazzling?

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 July 6
      LimeLolly permalink

      How does the umbrella stand feel sharing its space?

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 6
        mud "" slicker permalink

        I believe it’s called an unblubler stand.

        Adores: 3
      • 2011 July 6

        A little violated.

        Hey, look – a shovel!

        :starts digging:

        Adores: 8
    • 2011 July 6
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      BARE ON A PLANT STAND!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 July 6
        mud "" slicker permalink

        PLANT ON A BEAR STAND!!!!

        *awwwww Yogi….*

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 6
          Windrose permalink

          Mr. Ranger isn’t going to like this. Mrs. Ranger on the other hand — hey, I just got out of the corner! dang. quit pushing.

          Adores: 2
  13. 2011 July 6
    Windrose permalink

    I’d like to distract everybody with some YSaC business. First, Mindfield is in the box, but at least 6, maybe more, of you contributors to yesterday’s songfest deserve to be there as well. You make my job very difficult, and I thank you for that. No, really. 8)

    Second, if anyone survived the meet-up yesterday, could you let the rest of us homebound types know how it went? What mysteries were revealed? Will the world end following a YSaC convention?

    Thanks! Now, back to the show.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 6
      Addicted Reader permalink

      I agree, yesterday’s songfest was excellent.

      As for the meetup yesterday – well, there’s only one thing to say: The Llamanun and Ostrimu (BBUT) are even more awesome in person than they are online. I laughed so much my face hurt.

      Adores: 12
      • 2011 July 6
        Janett (usually lurking) permalink

        Your whole face or just your eyes and nose?

        ::looks at your gravitar…::

        Do you ever bump your head when you laugh?

        Adores: 0
  14. 2011 July 6
    ToBScholarly permalink

    I am taking the high road: The base of this stand reminds me of Slimer, the green specter from Ghostbusters.

    Adores: 2
  15. 2011 July 6
    funky monkey permalink

    It’s a marital aid for the 50 foot woman!

    Adores: 6
  16. 2011 July 6
    Lara permalink

    I think it should be place at the front door with a platter to serve drinks from.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 6

      Mike’s Hard Lemonade?

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 July 6
      Lola permalink

      Front door of what? A strip club?

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 July 6
        Lara permalink

        A Gentleman’s Club Lola, that’s much classier.

        Adores: 0
    • 2011 July 6
      mud "" slicker permalink

      I’m a bit fuzzy on the scale. Looks like a California Raisin got morphed with a Johnsonville brat.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 6
        Lara permalink

        An unholy love child of sausage and dried fruit. The sausage denied paternity until they had the paternity test done on Maury’s show.

        Adores: 0
  17. 2011 July 6
    ladycrim permalink

    I feel like there should be a caterpillar smoking a hookah on top of that thing.

    Adores: 9
  18. 2011 July 6
    CapnMac permalink

    [grumpy for having unresolved CRS today corey]

    There’s a botanical term for the way a tree grows over an insult, like a torn or damaged limb. A tree will also form such structures (not that my brain nor wiki can find the terminology [knarfstriggleschitch]) around insect infestations.

    So, this “unique” wood structure is really less burl and more lignate wart or wen.

    So, yeah, Sparky wants us to take this and like it–this won;y hurt, did it?
    [/incomplete arboreal anatomy corey]

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 July 6
      Languagegeek permalink

      gnarl?

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 6
        CapnMac permalink

        “Burl” is the woodworking term for when knots and lignotubers are completely subsumed into the heartwood.

        But, there is a term for when a tree “cures” an insult to the xylem and is covered in vascular cambium encapsulating the insult, often on a lobular or globulous form–which are not particularly nice to open and use in wood working (for being filled with all manner of debris and detritus, tars, pitches, and resinous saps).

        Adores: 1
  19. 2011 July 6
    Ziaheart permalink

    I think I might be the only one who sees a stomach or a liver. That doesn’t seem corner worthy.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 July 6
      mud "" slicker permalink

      It is if you see that either of those organs are reading PORN and smoking a bong*!!!!

      *I may or may not see this. It’s either that—or dolphins.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 July 6
        Bombdude permalink

        So that’s why I have been sleeping poorly and having really weird dreams lately… My liver has been staying up late reading PORN!!!

        Maybe I should cut down on the evening bourbon. Liver get’s a little tipsy and then gets randy…

        Adores: 3
  20. 2011 July 6
    Oh-Steve permalink

    Wow, this is an empty room, save for the corner over there. Probably a fire code violation, but I’ll make an exception since I’m likely to be part of the problem soon.
    In other news, it looks to me like a shillelagh with a base. *Insert dirty Irish joke here*

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 6
      Lola permalink

      Steve! We need to add you in to the YSAC group! ๐Ÿ™‚

      ETA: Except I can’t find you on my list. Please look us up and join us.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 July 6
        Oh-Steve permalink

        When and where is this group? I have been quite busy, so I have been absent from normal snarkitude.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 6
          Lola permalink

          Facebook. I don’t see you on my list (thought you were) but look for the YSAC page and see about us there. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
  21. 2011 July 6
    Lara permalink

    If your pecil has a circular flat end like that you will never get laid. Never.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 6

      Unless your ultimate fantasy is to have sexy time with a manhole.

      I mean that literally. That wasn’t a euphemism for Lindsay Lohan or anything.

      Adores: 8
  22. 2011 July 6
    Janett (usually lurking) permalink

    I wonder if it has plans friday night? Sigh…

    ::immediately walks to the corner…but grabs the cute boy she has a YSAC crush on to join her::

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 July 6
      Lara permalink

      We have a cute boy in here?!!

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 July 7
        Windrose permalink

        *psst* Lara, do you think she means Astro?

        Adores: 0
  23. 2011 July 6
    Lara permalink

    Anyway you look at it, 10 dollars is awfully cheap for some alone time with a wooden knot plant stand.

    Adores: 1
  24. 2011 July 7
    Windrose permalink

    Okay, Mindfield, here’s your 100 bazillionth punchity punch punch. But who’s counting. I gave it up for Lent.

    G’Night, Burl Wood!

    Adores: 0

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