YSaC, Vol. 1011: Everything new is old again.
Great Loveseat For Sale!!! – $60
I have a Resin Wicker Patio Loveseat for sale. It is in excellent conditions and pretty new. Antique. Cash only please.
The best antiques are the new ones. You never know what will happen when you get an old antique.
Antique Rochester Thermometer (new) (late 50s) – $45
in excellent condition. never been used. has a 8 inch glass display and made of stainless steel. has the real sensitive rod and a protective screw over rod to protect it. it is so accurate it could be used as a food thermometer or installed into a bbq pit or furnace. water heater? or just leave it on a shelf like i did for 15 years cause it looks cool. this is from the early late 50s
What exactly qualifies as the early late 50s? The period of time from February 12th to June 9th of 1957? Or is that more of the mid early late 50s, and the early late 50s happened before that?
And I don’t think I’d want to use this as a food thermometer. If I’m cooking my pork to 750º F, I’m doing something terribly, terribly wrong.
Thanks, AD and SisterTaco!
Antique … you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
As well – the loveseat is in “conditions.” If they are all excellent, why go so far as to consider them individual? Why, Sparky, why?
Is anyone besides me thinking that a certain segment of the population is going to get excited at the idea of all that resin for only $60, man? And will then become deeply disappointed once they figure out they can’t shred up the chair and fit the resin into their bong … at least, not with the effect they’re expecting?
Well, hukked-on-foniks works for Sparky.
Perhaps they are reading it as “auntie queue” like the line of mature ladies one sees on Antiques Road show.
Given the diction of Sparkies, “An Teak” probably ‘scans’ to their hearing as a singular tree.
But, perhaps, we see the reaping of situational definitions for everything.
Pretty sure most Sparkies wouldn’t know teak from balsa if they were hit on the head repeatedly with both.
Isn’t that what southern people say after a walk in the woods? “I think I got bit by a teak and it was so hot my balsa sweaty.”
You assume too much.
I know why Rod is sensitive. You keep screwing him over.
To be fair, Rod was always kind of a dick.
When it gets over 400deg. is it a a hot rod?
Well, Rod is pretty hard on everyone. He needs to relax and be less rigid.
What fun is that?
I sense a growing antipathy to Rod – what is it that he has done that has caused such distress?
(since no one else will say it) He comes across as kind of cocky.
Ah, but to paraphrase Billy Shakespeare very loosely, “If you punch him, does he not bruise? If you prick him, does…”
Umm, never mind. I’ll just go quietly over to the corner.
Rod – the Line’s older cousin.
Aw. Poor Rod doesn’t get a definite article.
I have a special theory about early man’s antiques relationship with old new 50’s era wicker.
It’s not nearly so interesting, though, as his relationship to early late 50’s thermometers.
It involves macrame, melamine and other “m” sounding words.
But I guess it’s a dying art.
Good to see there are at least two
idiotsconnossieurs left, though.The second connoisseur kept me laughing for a few months, actually. The guy that posted that Thermometer used to stick up at least two new ‘antiques’ a week from his ever expanding collection of crap. I haven’t seen him on in a while, though… I kind of miss him.
I hope Donkle is okay!
I like how he’s so “helpful” with suggestions on what you can do with it, even though he’s never done any of those things with it and has only stuck it on a shelf (presumably between his antique Smurf figurines and his Rainbow Brite collection) for the last fifteen years.
Somehow, the implied correlation between Smurf and Rainbow Brite dolls and a dial thermometer that doesn’t measure anything under 150° is creepy.
I really would guess that he’s an “antique” lunchbox collector.
This could be from the actual early to mid 50s A.D. which would make it antique and in the new testament. It would be in excellent condition for that. It would also be proof of witchcraft.
You could burn it at the stake and it would be able to tell you exactly how hot the fire was. That’s pretty useful, you don’t want to overcook your heathen.
Dare I ask if Overcooked Heathen is a cover band for Black Sabbath?
It’s the top 10 single for Fine Young Cannibals.
I thought it was a cover band for Meatloaf.
Featured in the Broadway show Sweeny Todd?
Jack: “Oh, Rochester? What’s the temperature like?”
Rochester: “It’s a blazin’ four hundred fifty degrees, boss!”
Jack: “Four hundred fifty degrees? Are you sure you’re reading that thermometer right?”
Rochester: “Oh yes, boss! It’s right there stickin’ out of the turkey, says four hundred fifty degrees, plain as day!”
Jack: *places fingertips to side of jaw; slowly turns toward camera*
I sense a story hidden in there somewhere involving volatile Turkey bombs.
Yes! Yes, dropped from a helicopter hired by a bumbling radio station for an ill-conceived thanksgiving day promotional stunt. That would be tragic, yet hilarious!
“Oh, my God, they’re turkeys! Oh, oh my, they’re hitting the ground like satchel charges, there are turkey bits and human bodies everywhere! Oh, the humanity!”
Nice WKRP in Cincinnati reference!
I’m also appreciating the Jack Benny reference. To my thinking, Rochester had the best voice on radio.
He was certainly one of the best racially profiled characters. I wonder if he sounded like that when he wasn’t in character.
I just watched “Topper” last weekend, and Rochester was the scene stealer!
[corey] Eddie “Rochester” Anderson sounded much the same when he wasn’t in character. He damaged his voice as a young man selling newspapers, needing to yell to make himself heard. [/corey]
I also dearly loved the Rochester character. One of the things I liked about him was that on his day off from working for Jack Benny, he still stayed around the house. He just wouldn’t do anything. For some reason I’ve always found that funny.
“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly . . . ”
Thanks JG, I love new classic movie facts. I agree by the way, Rochester always held his own with, if not eclipsed, Jack Benny. Without Rochester, Jack Benny wouldn’t have been nearly as funny.
I didn’t know that about him, either. I think it’s rather nice that he was able to take an injury and make it an asset.
I’d forgotten about him sticking around on his day off. Imagine doing that in an office job, or a store. Just being there, but not working. Oh wait, I know people who do that already.
As a song from the second half of the late eighties goes, “I’ll give you a genuine faux pearl ring.”
Only if you git on up and shake.
That honeybun.
One wonders how the fellow knows that a never used thermometer is very sensitive and accurate.
Hmmm…
Good thing this is the internet, though; nobody ever lies on the internet.
Well, he did cook a side of giraffe with it, but just to test it out to make sure it worked, so it’s not like it’s used used.
This must be the Marquis de Sade rectal thermometer.
Good God, I’m thinking like HamCam! Someone give me some brain bleach!
I’m infectious, here let me take your temperature…
To echo many women of the world, “Get that thing away from me!”
But, but … puppy!
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I … I am no longer infected.
/It’s pop culture reference week on YSaC.
//Which isn’t much different from any other week.
:snergle:
Heh, heh … you said “butt puppy”.
:snerk:
New. Antique.
Antique. New.
Hm.
Grampdaddy has been on Craigslist, methinks, for to him, antiques are new.
Ponce de León has been dipping his belongings into the fountain again
If I was Ponce de León, I would be dipping more than my belongings in the fountain. Key body parts could probably use some help at this point. I don’t think he had a protective screw over his rod to protect it.
Hmm.
Astro may get whomped upside the head with a cane, methinks, for smart-aleck teens are very deserving, either new-old or old-new.
New antiques are the best type-they look old but still work!
That’s what Grampmommy said…
If the protective screw over rod for protection fails, you’ll soon have a dozen or so tiny, new antique thermometers!
It’s gonna need that protection if it’s just gonna stick itself in any old barbecue pit, furnace or water heater that comes along.
New antique thermometers from the Fifties are a lot more adventurous than I would care to imagine a sixty year old bit of hardware could be.
Heh, heh – you said “sixty year old” and “hardware”.
*snerk*
Oh windy, I echoed you before I read this.
Sorry, Lara? I can’t hear you over the echo in here.
here…here…here…Richard Gere that’s an odd echo indeed
I have a can of Crisco you can stick that thermometer in. However, I’m not quite convinced that it’s a thermometer. I think it’s a mid-century calorie counter.
It’s going to need to go higher because of the lard factor.
So… Craigslist definition of antique = Bought new stuff, need to get rid of my old crap to make room.
In that case, anyone need an antique backscratcher circa 1997? Looks almost like new except for the tines are broken off, still works.
Depends. Is that the 1997 Collector’s Edition? Do you still have the original box it came in? I’d want to display it next to my collection of 357 Avon bottles.
Not the collector’s series, just yet. Give me a day and I’ll be finished gold-leafing it. I don’t have the original plastic sleeve it came in, but I’m sure I can find an empty cracker box that will work.
You’ll make me drool if you promise to bedazzle it too!
I can offer you a slightly wet antique new Ponce de León with a bedazzled protective screw over his rod.
I find the people who collect the Avon perfume bottles scary. I see those at garage sales and immediately become worried about the sanity of the person who is selling them. No offense to anyone here, I was already worried about you guys without knowing if you collect Avon bottles. Can you imagine the stink in the case you would display those in?
I believe a collection of old socks would be less smelly. I remember my grandmother baptizing herself in Avon perfume – Sweet Honesty – on our way to church on Sunday mornings. That smell still makes me turn green.
Nothing good ever came out of an Avon perfume bottle. I think the base formula for those rose out of the need for turn of the 19th century embalmers to cover the stench of decay. Turned into a win-win for grandma who was able to become reunited with her favorite scent on the autopsy table. Rose of Rigor Mortis was her specialty. It came in a bottle shaped like a pecil.
Then the Avon perfume industry is being supported solely by the over-90-year-old-lady crowd. Avon and the see-thru plastic, tie under the chin rainbonnet people.
*snort* Rose of Rigor Mortis. Doesn’t Estee Louder make that?
I always thought every Avon “scent” smelled exactly like every other Avon “scent”.
Must have been the formaldehyde base.
Made a good skeeter repellent, though.
I am particularly amazed by the ones with cologne in them that are shaped like trains and pipes and other manly things. Sadly no pecils.
My dad had some Avon cologne in a bottle shaped like a black VW Beetle. I remember my sister and I playing with it.
I bet there is some type of perfume or cologne in a pecil shaped container. Rule 34, remember.
That’s what Hammy said too.
Ding – Dong! Avon calling. Say what you will about Avon perfumes (apparently an oxymoron) but Skin So Soft is the ultimate multi-tasker. It is a great bug repellent (mosquitoes and no-see-ems for sure), it removes labels better than goo-gone, and makes a wicked cosmopolitan …..
FM, it’s funny you mention those rainbonnets. I was discussing them with a coworker not long ago and we concluded that no matter how old we get or how much it is raining, we’ll be damned if we ever wear one of those things. When I was a kid I had one and thought they were cool, mainly because I liked the retentive nature of folding them all back up and putting them back in the little packets for storage. Now? If I don’t have an umbrella, Mother Nature can do her worst.
And, possibly as a corollary, I doubt I’ll ever buy Avon cologne/perfume again, either (despite liking it as a child). Relating to that, I remember experiencing contact embarrassment when I read that Charisma Carpenter (from Buffy/Angel) was named for Avon’s Charisma perfume. The name Charisma is notable enough, but the Avon association would be a terrible cross to bear, I suspect.
/mild facetiousness
With regard to pecil-shaped cologne bottles — um, yeah. They do exist — or did. When I was a kid in the early 80s, betwixt the “hehehe boobs” and “mmm, boobs” phases of my youth, I remember sneaking peeks at my dad’s Playboy/Penthouse mags. (Yep, I was about as stereotypical as it gets in that regard.) I remember — possibly because of how strange it seemed to me even the dawning of my pubescence — a cologne apparently aimed at men, possibly gay men (though why that ad would be in Playboy is beyond me). I don’t recall what the bottle looked like, but it used one of those squeeze atomizers to dispense the scent. The nozzle was indeed very penile. The squeeze part? I’m sure you can guess. The scent was called “Sweaty Balls” and that is exactly what it was supposed to smell like. Because apparently that’s sexy to the wearer’s significant other.
I mean, I’m not a woman, or a gay man, but along the same lines I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t instantly want to have sexytime with a woman who smelled like vajayjay where they ought not to.
I’m in! Possibly in the hospital.
That’s the spirit Lara!
Ding-Dong Cosmo:
Ingredients
* 1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger vodka
* 1/2 fluid ounce cointreau
* 1 teaspoon fresh Avon Skin So Soft
* 1 1/2 fluid ounces cranberry juice
* 1 twist lime zest, garnish
Pour all the ingredients into a shaker with lots of ice. Shake
vigorously for several seconds and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime twist.
So…what’s that screw for?
About 30 seconds?
That sounds about right.
I am impressed by Rod’s stamina.
I thought it was Rod’s steiger.
[precision instrument corey]
Working with thermocouples, thermographs, humidigraphs and the like, I’ve determined that, even if how temperature is still taught between 3rd & 5th grades, it must be quickly forgotten.
Back of this instrument has a bimetalic sensor sticking out of it. This sensor has to be made of relatively soft stuff to work. So, when manufactured, the base of the sensor is provided with a threaded fitting. A strong bit of steel tubing is threaded to match, and is installed to protect the sensor.
Given the temperature range–150º to 750º this thermometer probably has some use with fluids, which can be piped to the sensor and sealed to its threaded fitting. However, since Sparky did not note any warning labels about gas-tightness, this is likely a steam gauge.
Now, should Sparky sell this, I want to have a video crew follow the buyer. The Youtube video of installing this in a water heater or bbq or for food service ought to be hilarious . . .
[/corey]
I’d use that second gauge for my time machine, but I’m not that into the early late first millennium.
That’s what I was thinking. It would look great next to a flux capacitor.
Honestly, I thought it was a tach.
Your food be going to heaven ’cause you be cooking the hell out of it….
Resin Wicker = Grate Patio Loveseat
Guaranteed to leave hatchmarks on bare skin.
I thought those were grill marks.
Grill wasn’t hot enough. If only they had something with which to determine its temperature.
*resists making “bare grilles” pun*
And that wicker furniture can send you to the ER if you roll around on it naked. Just saying.
So you mean you have to use the loveseat lying still?
Do you often roll around naked on your patio furniture FM? I know I do all the time, I just thought I was the only one.
Some of that wicker furniture has openings just big enough for, er, extremities to stick thru. It didn’t happen to me. It was my cousin. Or her husband. My cousin AND her husband. In the future we, *cough*, THEY used Wesson oil and no more injuries. Butter works too. Or, so they told me.
Butter is the answer to EVERYTHING.
::ring:: ::ring::
Paula Deen on line #1 for funky monkey.
Bless Mama Deen. I do worry for her health, tho.
PAM!
ANDERSON!!
Your turn.
I guess the designers of the wicker loveseat don’t think of “love” as an active verb.
Ah, yes. Body parts stuck in furniture. The perfect ingredients that made for the funniest Fark thread ever: The Ballsack Conundrum.
Loni!
Back at ya’.
And it all comes back around to WKRP, don’t it?
Polly?
Basil?
MANUEL!
I know nothing!!
I would like to thank MF for introducing me to Fark.com, who, in turn, introduced me to the term “Ballslat Buddy”.
The visual that accompanies said term awe-inspiring.
So you mean you have to use the loveseat lying still?
AR – makes it seem like it would hardly be worth the effort, doesn’t it?
“Loveseat” seems a misnomer: Too small to recline adequately and, if both are seated, not conducive to memorable *ahem* procedures.
[OT] I had a job interview today, please cross all of your extremities for me. I do mean ALL extremities. At least that way if I get another rejection I will get a good laugh out of it. <3 you all. [/OT]
Eyes crossed, legs crossed, fingers crossed, streams crossed. . . oh, never mind. We have had a streak going here, so I know you will get the job! And then Capn Mac will marry a rich woman who loves him for his vocabulary, and my Chthulhu will find the job he’s been wanting, and all will be right with the world!
Hope you aced it!
Best wishes, Lara! Keep us posted!
Dear, dear Hammy. Good thing you cleaned up the box before this today. Punchity punch punch (a gentle, puppy-size punch).
G’Night, Hereford!
Yes, I know, I will ruin it for everyone. However, I bet the last item is new old stock, which would make it “new” yet “1950’s” all at the same time.