YSaC, Vol. 1007: Yesterday was Friday, Friday …
2011 June 7
Lonely?Need Company? – w4m
hi how are you i am for sure liking da movie deuce bigalow starring
rob schneider who you may remember from “saturday nitez live” a
program on the television that runs on saturdays usually if i remember
correctly. HOLLA
hi i am fine i also like the movie deuce bigalow starring rob schneider i find it to be an subtle morality play on the power of transformation possible when a misfit finds himself in an unexpected situation that results in his maturation and development. lol just kidding i like the fart jokes.* HOLLA
*Full disclosure: I have never seen Deuce Bigalow, but I suspect it has fart jokes. Holla.
Thanks, S!
This sounds like “A Wild and Crraaazzzzyyy Guy!” Who was also on
***ugh…***
“saturday nitez live”
Was the “Closed Captioning for the Stupid Impaired” set on “Urban”?
Maybe that’s Spanish?
“Now on Telemundo! Actress/Singer/Dancer Seidy “Saturday” Nitez has an all-new live show!”
Ok, I’m still trying to get
Bienevedos! Esta Sra. SAHr raht ‘r’ DEY NEE tez!
out of my head.
Aside: Was at the chinese buffet the other night, and Univision was o nthe tv, which was showing “Big Momma’s House II”–which informed me of the impact of modern culture no better in dubbed Spanish than in the original English.
I’d hazard a guess that Sparky here qualifies as “Stupid-enhanced”…
hi how are you i am for sure liking da inane stream of marginal consciousness with da painfully unfunny jokes if this is the best personal ad i can write then no wonder i am alone watching tv. HOLLA
You mean Dave’s not here,
manferrets?Does anyone else ever wonder if the ferret/s say/s “I can’t let you do that, Dave,” or is that just me?
Now I kinda do.
Well, I do now.
Only when Dave is on LSD. Frankly that sounds like a scary scary trip to me.
I always just assumed they did.
There is no way this is an actual woman.
Oh, sorry;
Sparkles gotta be tuck’n it back, yo. HOLLA
I suspect they’re dyslexic and it’s a man meaning to post this for a woman, insinuating that they are a gigolo. I don’t know a single woman who will admit to actually liking Rob Schneider movies (they may exist and I haven’t met them) so I suspect it’s a guy making the reference.
*omits rant about distressing quality of composition skills on both paid and unpaid sites for personal ads*
Oh yeah, I’ve seen Deuce Bigalo, and I turn to it every time I see that it’s on cable. Why, you ask? ‘Cause Oded Fehr also plays a gigolo and that, my friends, is reason enough for me.
And after his performance in Deuce, he had enough props to get him his role in Sleeper Cell. I can totally see the jump there.
🙂
Ah, yes, the yummy yummy eye candy. He’s another one that can eat bananas in my tree house anytime.
N. E. Time.
I was watching one of the Resident Evil movies and thinking “This is crap. I’m gonna watch something else …”:enter soldier boy eye-candy: “Maybe I’ll watch a little longer.”
I find that man terrifying.
Yeah, I’ll totally confess watching crap if it’s attractive crap. That’s the only explanation for that King Arthur movie I saw a few years back … Clive Owen.
In fact, I once started watching this random show on a Friday on Fox back in college because the FBI dude or whatever was kinda hot. Turned out to be “X-Files.”
Mmmmmmmm……Mummy movies…yummy, yummy.
I’m more upset that drmk has never seen Deuce Bigelow. YOU ARE SO CHEATING YOURSELF!!! So many quotables. “Manginas”. Heh heh.
Antoine Laconte: I’m a gigolo.
Deuce Bigalow: Giga-who?
Antoine Laconte: Women pay me to… give them pleasure.
Deuce Bigalow: How did you get that job?
Antoine Laconte: I just sort of fell into it.
Deuce Bigalow: I’m gonna kill my guidance counselor!
Ooo, cakes and pies! Cakes and pies!
Oh! So I was wrong! FM, is this you?
Yeah. Er, you mean you were wrong about a woman that enjoys Rob Schneider movies? It simply means I have bad taste. I mean, “Deuce” is no “Napoleon Dynamite” (come on, what is?!), but it has awesome moments.
One = When the detective is complaining about how thin his wee-wee is – “You could paint it silver and tie a knot in the end and it would look like a kickstand!”.
Brilliant!! Ah, like buttah!
No wonder you fit in here so nicely.
I got no where else to go man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:licks the monkey:
You don’t taste bad. Kinda banana-ish with a hint of caterpillar.
All right, Ghostpuss, one more lick and you have to buy me dinner.
EDIT: Wait a minute, caterpillar?
I think it’s the orangutiny fuzz.
Much to my disdain, my 17 year old daughter and my husband will spend countless hours watching movies like this, Stepbrothers, Joe Dirt, Talledaga Nights, Superbad etc.
I am torn between reminding them of all the brain cells they are killing by repeated viewings and simply enjoying the fact that they are sharing a father-daughter moment – even if it is brought on by Will Ferrell’s testicles getting smashed on a drum set.
“Joe Dirt”! Yes! Another classic!
“I’m your sister, I’m your sister, I’M YOUR SISTER!!!”
“Is this what you want to be doing when Jesus comes back?”
I’ve got to buy a copy of that one.
*sigh*
oh dear
:rant:
I’ve never seen “Napolean Dynamite” solely for the reason that the writer stole the name from Elvis Costello. Nothing against Jon Heder, et. al., but I refuse to watch Hess films. Come on: the name “Napolean Dynamite” is splashed across EC’s 1986 album “Blood and Chocolate” and ND (an alias of EC’s alias) is also credited as a writer as far back as the early 80’s. Hess swears his innocence.
: rant off, sorry. As you were.
TBS, with me and my dad it was Bogart films (and similar) on Saturday afternoons. You can’t really choose this stuff, it just happens. It’s OK.
Ah, but Bogie films are different.
Consider the deeper satire in Casablanca “What, there’s gambling here? Shocking! Shocking!”; or Treasure of the Sierra Madre, “Brother can you spare a fellow American a dime?”
Even Maltese Falcon and Key Largo have similar sublimity.
Modern films? Meh, candle before a supernova.
My favorite quote from Casanova was, when they were discussing nationalities, when Bogie said “Me, I’m a Drunkard”.
“In vino patria nostra”?
Not quite “Legio patria nostra”; but without the five-year service commitment, one supposes.
Bacontini, really…has it come to this?
I thought you were one of a kind, always dere for da ladies, and now I find out you’re just pretending to be someone else.
I am sooooooo disappointed.
*(daughter is a huge Rob Schneider fan, went to see him at The Improv in Dallas and got her picture taken with him…she says he’s as nice as can be)
*true story
Umm… He has to be nice. If Adam Sandler dies, He’s going to have to find a couch to sleep on, and fast.
It’s sad too because the guy can be really funny when he has a part. He just can’t seem to carry the movie.
I actually think this is Bacontini’s soul mate. Perhaps he’ll finally settle down.
Good luck with that.
First thought was also that Bacontini has another side to him…err, her….uh…it?
Possibly he likes his “Saturday Nitez Live”lier than we knew?
Meredith! So glam! Love it.
Me too! Is that Ginger?
Yep, she’s one of my absolute FAVORITES!!!
Me too, Meredith! I am reminded that everything Fred did, Ginger did backwards and in high heels!
I just watched “The Major and The Minor” last Saturday morning. Love that movie!
“FART! DILDO! BIG, BIG, BIG TITTIES!”
“SHIT! SHIT WHORES!”
“BALL-HAIR!”
PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!
PECIL!
What is this I don’t even…
Me, neither. *passes flask*
Sounds like the next great rap-song. Either that, or Hammy is practicing his audition for “Tourettes, The Musical.”
I **SO** want to see “Tourettes, The Musical”!
You can create your own, just get a boombox and head downtown to that corner where that crazy guy yells at the road signs.
Which one, Ghostie? We have many to choose from here.
If you want the full operatic experience, just find one screaming in Italian.
If they’ve not made this musicial, they gotta!
I’m rather embarrassed I recognized this…it’s from Deuce Bigalow…on of his “lady friends”…see, in the movie all of Rob’s “dates” have issues…like Tourette’s or being REALLY tall, or having a prosthetic leg…or…OMG…being like really, really, really large…and wearing skimpy lingerie.
*shudders at the memories*
’round these ‘ere parts we don’t like no fancy-ass Saturday Night Live on the television box on Saturday. We put it on that there Wednesday night. So if you city folk be commin’ ta visit, you best not be axing to see your Television shows on Saturday. Or boy, we gon’ make you ride Cactus Pete; the meanest goat ever seen in the lower 42 states.
*Spits*
So y’all jus stay outta town with your fancy city programmin’ and we’ll get on all friendly like. Now, les all catch the Hog Holla’in contest. I dun heard they be givin’ the winner a Bacontini bong.
Round my house, “Saturday Night Live” is called “Sunday Morning DVR’ed”.
‘Round our house, it’s called “Maybe, possibly, watch one or two sketches online sometime during the month after it airs.” But we almost never watch TV, with the exception of some guilty pleasures like RuPaul’s Drag Race (which I watch online). Now THERE’S high art.
Keepin it classy. I watch far too much tv, but it’s usually controlled by what “The Man” has decided will and won’t be dvr’ed and kept. I’m always held down by “The Man”. In this case, “The Man” is, in fact, an actual man.
Meredith, could I have my flask back to blot out the mental images that just gave me? Thanks. 8)
HAHAHA, not like THAT.
I think the Llama-Nun is my crush du jour for admitting to watching “Drag Race.” I got into that via a coworker who shows me clips when work is slow. Pure class, that!
I feel so pathetic. TV is my white noise so I know way too much about what is on. I would like to be more like Llamanun (BBUH) and Ostrimu. I will at least give myself credit for not paying for cable. If I want to watch something from a cable show it has to be intentional.
I can see why there’s not a lot of TV watching in the Fortress of Llamatude; it must be hard to channel surf when you don’t have opposable thumbs.
SNL died with Belushi, far as I’m concerned.
Oh come on CJ, give skits a chance! There have been some good ones in each season. Yea, they aren’t all awesome, but there are some that are worth it. I have loved Saturday Night Live since I was in the womb (I assume anyway). Right now I think Kristen Wiig is particularly entertaining.
I think it was resurrected for a while by Eddie Murphy and then again by Will Ferrell. I may not have watched it since then.
I’m not sure I was alive when Belushi was hosting SNL. Not that I’m insinuating anthing about YOUR age, CJ.
My dad was a preacher and we were forbidden to watch SNL. But me and my lil sis would sneak and watch it anyway. This was back in the Eddie Murphy days. It was worth the risk of getting caught.
[sort of corey] I was definitely alive when John Belushi was on SNL, and watched it in college back in the mid-seventies. At the time, we all thought it was amazingly funny and innovative, but it was like nothing else on TV at the time (we were also often “primed” to laugh, if you know what I mean). When now I look at clips of SNL from those days, it seems really uneven, with some very funny moments, and a lot of stuff that hasn’t aged well. As for today’s version, I like the remark that “SNL is just a restaurant in a good location”. [end corey]
*shakes cane at Ginger-Meredith*
Oh sure you aren’t! Next thing you’ll be telling me is that your television had color.
*rolls eyes dramatically*
Ditto CJ.
Started watching SNK in high school, when most of the cast was still more famous for having been part of Second City. The original energy petered out about 1980.
There were bursts of life after that, but nothing that kept and captured my attention, let alone devotion.
That was also the time of greatest distractions in my life, and frivolity and jocularity were only getting a back seat, and then, only if they earned it. SNL has not had more than 3, 4, minutes’ of my attention since.
Recently, in this neck of the woods, there’s been a show called 10 O’Clock Live – a topical news-based comedy type programme, which ‘aired’ (I believe this is the technical term) at 10pm on Thursday nights. We watched every episode.
Usually at about 7.30pm on Friday. Sometimes 9am Saturday. Never, ever, 10pm Thursday.
We’re such rebels.
You are just pushing the boundaries too much there. I don’t think I can take it.
Ah, had to check, was not 10 O’clock news, but the much earlier “Not the 9 O’clock News” that I had seen.
FM, all I can think when I read your post about Eddie Murphy is “I’m Gumby, dammit!”
Soooo, Sparkletina is offering to come over on Saturday nights and watch TV with lonely men? I see no problem with that. Carry on.
Makin’ copies. Copies of Sparkles.
That will still occasionally go thru my brain while I’m at work, making copies.
Monkeeeyyy. The MonkMiester. At the copy machine. Making copies.
PS: You need to be getting more “adores” on this comment, Lara. That may have been Schneider’s funniest skit on SNL.
He probably uses the Deuce Bigalow movie to imply that he expects women to pay him for his company while watching “saturday nitez live”.
Edit: Oh, it’s a woman! Well, this puts me in a different and far more disturbing reality.
LolCatz have hit Craigslist. Dear God, no!
*snort* Ha!
Yup, I thought that too. I imagine the picture of the cat propped up almost man like on the couch with his hind legs sprawled out, with the caption “i haz ur entertainment rite hear”.
A brief program announcement: Saturday Night Live will now be aired on Friday, Friday Night Lights will now be aired on Mondays, and the Sunday Night News will be aired every third Tuesday.
But how will this + catmath affect my hairdo appointment on Wednesday?
If your appointment is this Wednesday, then according to the Catlender … :does complicated sciencey things: It was on Raspberry Carbunkle.
No, wait … I didn’t carry the sock lint. It was March 13th.
It’s now on Fursday at tuna sammiches thirty.
I forgot, I have a Catmanac (cat + almanac, but I’m sure y’all knew that).
*flip flip flipping thru the pages*
Ah, none of this matters, the world is ending on June 31st.
PS: Kelli – Fursday is now my favorite day of the week.
If you are owned by a cat, every day is Fursday!
I thought it was called Purrsday, Or is that only during Leap Year during Chanukah?
If you’re owned by 3 cats, every day is –
OMG, get off of that!!! You are in so much trouble!!! Who left that stain? What is that floating in the sink?!? Why are there footprints on the wall? HOW are there footprints on the wall?!? WHAT did I just step in? Why is this wet??? You better run, I’m going to beat you til you scream!!!!
DISCLAIMER: My cats have never been beaten, they rule the house, we’re lucky if they leave us a spot to sleep in in the bed.
I’ve got three of the little darlings as well. Makes life “interesting”.
Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Moved to 30 February.
*DING DING DING DING!!!*
Go Cap’n!! No one else caught it. I was waiting on someone to tell me there was no June 31st. You win…
*digs in pockets*
One beaten up stick of gum, a full USB stick, a receipt from Taco Bell, a crushed fortune cookie with hair on it, a used lighter and 76 cents in change.
Give him a hand, folks!
Dammit Jim, I’m a computer architect, not a surrealist!
I need SATA-compliance, not grasping appendages!
And tell that green-blooded, pointy-eared geek to stop with the stone knife and bearskin SCSI devices; without drivers they are useless at boot-up!
Hola Sparkette – News Flash! Saturday Nitez Live has been moved to Thursdays at 10:00 pm……
[OT] Usually I like to get here er-lie-in-tha-mornin’, but I’ve been a little scattered today. I spent pretty much the entire morning experimenting with a mod for my E-cigarette to fix the manufacturer’s crappy atomizer design — and I’ve managed to succeed using parts I can actually get right here at work (just walk back to the warehouse and pick ’em myself), so I’m feeling rather pleased with myself right now. Especially because the parts are dirt cheap and even more so because I work for the distributor so I get them at a substantial discount.
I’m a goddamn MacGyver today. Give me a paperclip, some speaker wire, a loaf of pumpernickel and a spoon and I’ll MacGyver me some new pants.
[/OT]
Here’s a hairbrush, some brill cream, half a tomato, and some chicken feathers. I’d like a new car, please.
Additional: Damnit.. I’m on the computer by the window today… I forgot to change my name back to Lyle and include my url >.< fargleblurble.
Done! It’s … uh … it’s a Prius, though. Sorry, it’s the best I could do with what you gave me.
Pumpernickel pants!
ETA: I now imagine the ESP avatar with an e-ciggie hanging out of the side of its smile. Somehow, this seems fitting.
The E-ciggy I use probably wouldn’t hang well from my mouth. It’s rather, um … beefy. The kind that’s probably not polite to whip out in mixed company.
:ring-ring, ring-ring:
Sigmund Freud is on the banana-phone for you, MF.
*takes reciever*
“Hello?”
hrrmrr phrrmrhrbr hrbrmrphr.
“Er, I’m sorry, she doesn’t live here.”
Hrrmrphr brmrphr.
“That’s quite alright. Goodbye.”
That’s odd. He wanted to talk to my mother.
MF, I was on an e-forum a while back and one of the women was talking about her e-cigarette. As a nonsmoker I never thought of this, but she said one of the great things about it was that she could take it into the bathroom and re-up on the nicotine without actually smoking, or having to go outside to do so.
E-cigarettes: keeping people everywhere sane and protecting them from extreme weather.
Tell me the outcome/results of the e-smoking. If your experience is pleasant I may break down and buy one.
Here’s a sticky penny, some sunflower seeds, half a bottle of lotion, a broken mechanical pencil, and a lighter. Turn them into a ham sammich, please, it’s lunchtime here.
In a few words: E-cigs saved my life.
That isn’t hyperbole either, though perhaps a little misleading: I wasn’t in imminent danger of death or anything, but neither would I have had the willpower to quit smoking. I tried Nicorette gum and their inhaler. The gum did nothing. The inhaler was terrible — like inhaling talcum powder. Didn’t do squat. E-cigs, on the other hand, are so like real cigs in both function and experience (only without all the harmful crap except for nicotine) that everything you need out of a cig is still there, and everything you don’t need isn’t. I’ve been on E-cigs for about 9 months and it’s been awesome — though a bit of a rollercoaster with different hardware, mods/hacks, things like that.
If you’re interested in more information than you can shake a stick at feel free to click on my name linky to go to my blog thingy and click on the about buttony to shoot me an E-Mail…y. The whole E-cig industry is a bit tricky to navigate with all its terminology and differing hardware and different types of liquids and stuff, but I can help clear things up.
P.S. I’m out of lotion. Will Elmer’s glue do?
I’ve used one for about six months, the taste takes a little getting used to but they aren’t that bad.
Depends on the brand and type of E-cig and whose liquids you buy with what mixture and what strength. There are about a brazillian variables, but with the right combination the experience is exceptionally like smoking (except your liquids can be virtually any flavour you like) — far better, actually, as far as I’m concerned. For me, other than the few moments it took me to get over the initial shock of how effective a replacement it was when I first started, it didn’t really take any getting used to. It probably depends on your expectations though — and, again, the hardware and “software.” (Or perhaps more appropriately, “wetware.”)
I’ve seen those brazillian different kinds, and I know some people that have invested a lot of money in one version or the other. Have you gained any weight or noticed a bigger appetite since using?
PS: BTW, you look INCREDIBLE, you could gain 20 lbs and still be a damned fine looking toothy puppy.
PPS: Yes – Elmer’s will do, I ain’t picky.
No real increased appetite or anything like that, no — nothing associated with substitute habits to fill in the gap quitting smoking tends to create, if that’s what you’re asking. The only side effect a few people have noted was a mild “depression” (for lack of a better word) because cigarettes contain MAOIs (antidepressants, to increase euphoria and therefore addiction) and E-juice does not, but very few seem to be sensitive to that. Even those that are tend to have the feeling pass in a few days. I didn’t notice anything though.
Something else to try that got me away from cigarettes five years ago is Listerine Pocket Mist. Stay away from the yellow kind, however. It tastes like furniture polish smells.
Take a blast every time you want a smoke. This works if you don’t like menthol cigarettes. It tastes like a Kool. Two weeks of this stuff and I was cured.
You need some duck (quack, quack) tape.
Ooh, good thinking!
*duck tapes ears back*
Aerodynamics.
Be careful MF, no matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
I could make the moon out of stationery. It’ll only be a paper moon, though.
:gives the eerily smiling puppy a bag of marshmallows, a set of car keys, three ballpoint pens, and a jell-o mold:
I’d like a jet pack, please.
Hmmm. Tricky.
*shoves pens through marshmallows*
*Lights a can of Sterno in the Jell-o mold*
*roasts marshmallows*
*eats marshmallows*
Sorry, what was I doing?
*rummages through purse and pockets*
Okay, here’s 1…2…3…8..13 cents, the wrapper off of two straws…oh hey, look at this – a Hot Wheels car!
*digs deeper into purse*
A copy of the Constitution – no lie I really have a copy in my purse.
Some fuzzy lint-thingy, a package of gum….yep, that’s it.
*hands treasures over to the freaky-puppy*
I’d like a particle accelerator, please.
Don’t ask why.
*fashions slingshot using rolled up papers, car as handle, chewed gum as sling*
There you go. The pennies are your particles. Just don’t go firing them at any Higgs bison. They get ornery.
:samples marshmallow:
So that’s what blue tastes like!
**hands MF the used disposable razors that my sister leaves IN THE BATHTUB, a greasy paper plate, and half a bar of Ivory Soap.**
Make me… a shrubbery!
Oh, you’ll need this too.
**throws a herring at MF**
Well, I was up and moving earlier than normal today; but, it was off to a job interview today, which has since tossed my entire day’s schedule out the window.
Best of luck, Capn. Mike had an interview over the phone today, but he’s not really the person for the job. The guy liked him enough though that if he doesn’t find anyone with better qualifications, he will be calling back. 8)
OOOH, Windy, best wishes for Mike. Sending my strongest good luck job-getting vibes for him tonight.
Aw, thanks jg. See my post yesterday, if you didn’t already, about how I love you folks. 8)
This is similar to how I snagged my man. Well actually, I told him to run or I was going to marry him – same thing. But, I had to use Chevy Chase quotes to whet his interest.
Holla
Wait, when I do that…they do run away.
Hmm… do you feed them first? Because that’s usually the first step…
Next time don’t let them out of the cage.
Ruffies help. That’s how I bagged and tagged Hubby Monkey.
What a coincidence. I snagged mr. mudsy with Ruffles. Something about the ridges he couldn’t resist….
My thoughts on this ad? First of all, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the still single? tag. That in itself made me chuckle.
Secondly, based on the sentence structure (or lack thereof) that this ad is either:
A) Someone in an incredible rush to find a date at that very moment (perhaps Deuce Bigalow was on TBS right then) and therefore could not be bothered with punctuation.
or
B) A sociology experiment by some college girl to see how many and what types of men she can accrue by posting this ad.
Holla! Just want to make an OT announcement that I am establishing a new company called SeedPal! Next time you need some comment on YSaC corrected or changed, just send 4 pounds of finest bird seed to My.HungryBirds@SeedPal.com, and all will be taken care of. No more seeds in your hard drive or cup holders. Less mess, more filling. Be always happy!
Do you accept suet cakes? I’ve got a can of vintage Crisco……
Sorry, have to keep the sunflower seeds for meself. I think I was born a bird that mutated into a monkey, I eat sunflower seeds at my desk all day. I know the cleaners hate me. It looks like we have mice in our office.
Windy — can we just open a SeedPal account? Taco will probably be broke within a week. I thought as part of his YSaC family we could help.
When you start getting low on seeds, just turn off the edit function for a couple of days.
I think it’s called a SeedPalPal account.
Uh — do not click on linky! It’s not a real linky. DON”T DO IT!
*sits back and waits for the results to pour in*
Lonely?Need Company? – i4u
hi how are you i am for sure passing da exams chemistry starring [chemistry teacher] who you may remember from “friday dance” a dance on the counter that she do on fridays usually if i remember correctly. HOLLA
P.S. FREEEEEDOOOOOM!!!!
Your chemistry teacher is pretty awesome.
EDIT: HOLLA
You silly Easterners-our local urchins were set loose as of Memorial Day.
Ah, but you missed the best part: My sister’s last day is Friday, because she’s in middle school.
Well, by state law, we are uniformly cruel to the entire K-12 population; they start and stop on exactly the same days (and the make-up snow day, was the Monday of Memorial Day, too).
Alice BG, I hope you find out someday that you were in the box. The punch will be subdued for a few weeks, until my cracked rib and pulled muscles heal. Sigh. I hate being clumsy.
Good Night, New Yorkz!
What?
What what? How have I confused my favorite gecko?
I wondered what happened to you… then I heard it through the grapevine.
Damn raisins can’t keep a secret to save their life.