YSaC, Vol. 983: Do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?

2011 May 6
by drmk

Unopened box of womens pantiliners 105 count


I have a 105 count of womens pantiliners if any one is interested please call or text me at xxxxxxxxxx.They are a unopened box. Im sure there is some one out there that can defiantly use them.

I’m not sure I want to see a woman using pantyliners defiantly. I mean, I am a woman and I can’t figure out how to use pantyliners defiantly. How would that even work? Would you peel off the adhesive and slap them on your skivvies while saying, “Take THAT, you cotton/poly blend wedgie-maker!” Or maybe, “Okay, I’ll wear this, but I WON’T LIKE IT!”

Hmmm. Then again, that pretty much sums up my teenage relationship with pantyliners. Maybe I can defiantly use them after all.

And, just because I can, here’s a picture that a reader (Diane) sent in …

As she points out, “Well, at least they’re fresh!”

Thanks for the ad, Sanders!

116 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 May 6

    :sets breakfast taco down:

    You know, I’m not really all that hungry….

    Adores: 8
  2. 2011 May 6

    I’m pretty defiant, but secondhand panty-liners? My box remains unopened…

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 May 6
      Lola permalink

      No second-hand liners in my box!

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 6

        New from Sir Richard Branson – Virgin Liners!

        They’re for your box!

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 May 6
          D / DM permalink

          I’m not a doctor, or a woman, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter which hand you use with these…

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 May 6
          Lola permalink

          Actually it does – the clean one.

          Adores: 4
  3. 2011 May 6
    Ah-kun permalink

    Snerk. Vaggies. x] *shuffles to corner*

    What a strange number of items to have in a box. Why is it 105? Why not just 100? My inner OCD gremlin won’t let me generate a proper response to the rest of the ad because its having a fit over the idea that a packaged container would contain 105 items.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 6

      Ah-kun…let me see if I can help….

      Sometimes, manufacturers of these product lines realize that there are about elebenty hunnert different brands of this stuff, and so in order to get the women to buy theirs they occasionally offer “Bonus” boxes with 5, 7, 10, etc. more inside.

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 May 6
        ginsu permalink

        /em supposes the count may have been padded.

        Adores: 20
        • 2011 May 6
          D / DM permalink

          [ba-dum-bum tssssh!]

          Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 6

      According to the USDA, you should get between three and five servinges of vaggies a day.

      That’s a lot of vaggies.

      (I will not picture an alot of vaggies. I won’t.)

      Adores: 16
      • 2011 May 6

        I’m as red-blooded a man as the next guy, but even I’m not sure I can eat that much. I can sure enough picture it though.

        [*allows bungee cord to pull him back to the corner*]

        Adores: 14
        • 2011 May 6
          D / DM permalink

          I have to say, I’m a little put off by your references to vaggies, eating, and blood all together.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 6

          That’s okay, not all guys are into vaggies.

          Adores: 6
      • 2011 May 6
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Um…….yay?

        *goes to corner*

        Hey, who ate all the coffee slices?

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 May 6
          D / DM permalink

          @ghostcat: It isn’t that. I just think eating is overrated.

          Adores: 2
  4. 2011 May 6
    screamer1 permalink

    I’m POISEd to bid on these but it DEPENDS on whether the box is truly unopened.

    Adores: 11
  5. 2011 May 6
    LaKitta permalink

    Anyone else scroll up _just_ to make sure the commentary was Drmk*• and not Dan*? No? Carry on…

    *BBUT

    •Also, in my head, this (“drmk”) reads like “Doctor, m’kay?” as in:

    Sparky Student: “Um, Mrs. Llamanun? I want- ”
    DRMK: “DOCTOR. M’kay?”
    Sparky Student: “Uh, okay… Dr. Mrs. Llamanun?”…

    (I hope this doesn’t actually happen to you.)

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 May 6
      Windrose permalink

      Didn’t scroll up, checked it as soon as I saw the title. 8)

      Adores: 7
    • 2011 May 6

      Actually, this happens on a regular basis. I teach at a university, and some students can’t get it through their head that I, like my male colleagues, have a Ph.D. and that my honorific is Dr. … so they will, in the same breath, refer to Dr. Male Colleague and Mrs. Me.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 May 6
        Lola permalink

        So, how tempting is it to fail them on general principles for doing that?

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 6

          I would guess “very”.

          Adores: 5
      • 2011 May 6

        Those are usually the same students who seem to be actively failing themselves.

        Adores: 14
        • 2011 May 6

          I have had many female professors who have earned the doctor honorific and I always make sure to address them as such, whether in person or by email. I would never call a professor Mrs or Mr, though there have been a few that preferred to be addressed by their first names.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 6
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Also, “Mrs.” (or “Mr.” or “Miss” etc.) to an instructor in a university setting? What???

          When in doubt, I go w/ Professor Last Name. It’s always appropriate.

          Adores: 5
      • 2011 May 6
        LaKitta permalink

        Bah, sorry to hear that 🙁
        The small daily fights to hold your place are sometimes harder hitting that the big ones to get there (I used to do the job equivilant of “Is your father home, miss?” every.damn.day. From outside vendors AND my own staff.)

        Adores: 1
  6. 2011 May 6

    I have never worn pantyliners, defiantly or otherwise.

    Just, you know … in case there was any question.

    EDIT: I will not leave the tampon question out there, either, because I know at least one of you will think about it. No. The answer is no.

    EDIT II: Let’s just take any feminine hygiene products off the table. (Seriously, guests don’t want to see that.)

    EDIT III: In answer to the question you’re thinking about now, the answer is “like in Weird Science.”

    Adores: 12
    • 2011 May 6
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      things that make you go hmmmmmmmm …….

      Thanks for clearing that up smiling doggie.

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 May 6
      CapnMac permalink

      Ah, the tales I could tell, but will not, both for not invoking squick and for decorum’s sake.

      Adores: 1
  7. 2011 May 6
    mudslicker permalink

    Thank goodness it wasn’t 144 count. That would be gross.

    Adores: 34
    • 2011 May 6
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Mudsy, you get my vote for the best one-liner of the week.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 May 6
        D / DM permalink

        I concur.

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 May 6
        mudslicker permalink

        Make it a panty one-liner and I’ll consider it a win!

        Adores: 7
  8. 2011 May 6
    Todd permalink

    Good thing the poster clarified that the pantyliners are for women. Otherwise they could have had a lot of disappointed men show up.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 May 6

      I know a few men who could benefit from using pantyliners. They’d use a lot less bleach and their undergarments would last longer.

      Adores: 8
      • 2011 May 6
        D / DM permalink

        I like not only that you’re so experienced with men’s undergarments, but that you’re specifically so experienced with men’s STAINED undergarments.

        Adores: 7
        • 2011 May 6
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Laundry.

          Adores: 2
      • 2011 May 6
        SpaceBug permalink

        Men’s undergarments would have a lot more life if it weren’t for their spouses tossing them out before they’ve reached the ‘end of life’.

        “Darn, woman, those undies ain’t dead yet”.
        Ne’ermind them stains, jus’ fix th’ holes”.

        Hides under cloak of invisibility.
        Ha ha ha, can’t retalia-
        *splat*

        Remembers to stay quiet when invisibilizing

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 6
          mudslicker permalink

          That’s because the fruit of their loom is often moldy, shriveled, shrinking, sagging, full of holes and definitely “on the skids”….

          Adores: 6
  9. 2011 May 6
    Camille permalink

    I am woman, hear me pantyline!

    [Was that defiant enough?]

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 6

      They can take our freedom, but they can never take our pantyliners!

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 May 6
        Angel permalink

        A woman needs a man like a fish needs a pantiliner!

        Adores: 7
    • 2011 May 6

      We could organize a pantyliner burning.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 May 6
        CapnMac permalink

        With the problem that burning cotton is not a good thing–cotton gives off toxic fumes when burnt.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 6
          Lola permalink

          It’s probably not even cotton – some other kind of synthetic that is even worse when burnt.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 6

          I think they are mostly some sort of cellulose material.

          Adores: 1
  10. 2011 May 6

    This is post-hipsterism. Instead of wearing things ironically, we now wear them defiantly.

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 May 6

      :shakes fist at no one/thing in particular:

      I ironically defy you!!!

      Adores: 9
      • 2011 May 6
        D / DM permalink

        Damn. I believe YSaC just saw the birth of pre-punk revival neo-hygienism.

        Adores: 9
        • 2011 May 6
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Oh, good. I’ve been waiting for this since before it was cool.

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 May 6
          Lola permalink

          And now that it’s been invented and someone knows about it, it’s no longer cool. Now I have to get rid of my hygiene products.

          Hey … got this box of panty liners … anyone? Anyone?

          Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 6
      mudslicker permalink

      *emo-defiantly*

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 May 6
      SalmonPinko permalink

      If post-hipsters are less ironical, does that mean their clothes are more wrinkly?

      Adores: 6
  11. 2011 May 6
    LimeLolly permalink

    Considering the sometimes painful and traumatic visits of Aunt Flo… I’m willing to defiantly use any and all resources.

    Adores: 12
  12. 2011 May 6

    We’ve got cucumbers and celery and carrots by the bunch!
    Pick peck of pickled hot peppers to liven up your lunch!
    You can stuff a purple eggplant if’n you’re an aubergine man
    But a bushel full of vaggies fills your void like nothing can!

    (two, three…)

    I enjoy some spicy radishes, I like to eat ’em raw
    Serve ’em with a slice of onion and I’ll cram them in my maw
    Yes, I’d drive all day for ripe tomatoes soaked in bathtub gin
    But if you gave me the choice I’d take some vaggies for a spin

    Just three servings a day
    Keep the urges at baaaaaaaay!

    Oh…

    I’ll take a side of Yukon Gold potatoes, oven-baked
    Pair them with some beans and rice, but I’ll forgo the sirloin steak
    For you see, I’m quite particular — for this I’ll take some heat
    But for me, a vast array of vaggies beats out any meat!

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 May 6
      Windrose permalink

      I’m sure the sign also meant to say, Just picked today!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 May 6

        You can pick your friends, and you can pick your vaggies…

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 May 6

          Mamma always said if I kept picking at it I’d get a scar.

          Or go blind, I forget which.

          Adores: 11
  13. 2011 May 6
    Windrose permalink

    Apologies to Paul Pena and Steve Miller. Neither of whom are women, apparently.

    Oh, oh, oh, big ole pantiliner!
    Always bunching up in the way.
    Oh, oh, oh, big ole pantiliner!
    Damn it, here’s where you’ve got to stay.

    Adores: 6
  14. 2011 May 6

    What?

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 6

      Pecil.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 May 6
        Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 6

          Adores: 7
      • 2011 May 6
        Adores: 7
        • 2011 May 6
          mudslicker permalink

          .

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 6

          .

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 May 6

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 6

          ░▒▓▒░

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 6
          LimeLolly permalink

          Ya’ll are not right….

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 6

          Yall ain’t right.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 May 6
          LimeLolly permalink

          Sorry Astro. My only excuse is: I’m a northern transplant in the South… I ain’t been fully transformalized.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 6

          Y’all taint right in the haid!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 6

          Detritus

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 6

          WHAAAAT!!!???

          My mind. It is blown. I thought KittyShark was HamCan!?

          Adores: 7
  15. 2011 May 6
    Ralph permalink

    Why do women always think the shelves in the pantry need liners? And even so, who needs 105 of them?

    Oh, pantiliners….

    Never mind.

    Adores: 8
  16. 2011 May 6
    Karmyn permalink

    There is that scene in the movie Texas State of Mind where the stupid guys use pantiliners as a disguise.
    Are these the little regular ones that bunch up or the longer ones that bunch up in a different area? do they have Dri-Weave? Moisture lock?

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 May 6

      I want to know if they have those little flaps they call wings even thought they don’t enable you to fly, which would be awesome but a bit too much to ask from a hygiene product.

      Adores: 11
      • 2011 May 6
        Camille permalink

        Look! Up there in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Feminine Hygiene Products Woman!

        Adores: 11
      • 2011 May 6
        SpaceBug permalink

        if they have those little flaps they call wings even though they don’t enable you to fly

        Wait, didn’t Sister Bertrille use that product?

        Adores: 5
      • 2011 May 6
        Angel permalink

        Don’t let Red Bull get wind of that marketing ploy or soon a joint effort with Always pantiliners will be giving us wiings (cut to commercial of cartoon women flying.)

        Adores: 6
  17. 2011 May 6
    Karmyn permalink

    Hey, I can post again. It wouldn’t let me post yesterday.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 6
      LurkRealClose permalink

      Welcome Back!

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 6
      LimeLolly permalink

      Yesterday, drmk* said she had to close registration due to so many spammers (they didn’t bring the toast). That might have been the reason, glad you’re here today!

      *BBUH

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 May 6
      Windrose permalink

      We found that you were in violation of Section 2W66 Paragraph 2929 Group W of the YSaC Code Of Posting Regulations. Then we found out it was a different Karmyn, and reinstated you. Honest.

      Adores: 5
    • 2011 May 6
      CapnMac permalink

      If I had the right sort of access (combo of wrong place, wrong time and being on th tablet as the desktop managed to hide yet another redirection malware–which is being scrubbed as I type this), I’d check to see of a denial of service flurry was being pointed at YSaC.

      As it is, the symptoms suggest such–my Adores keep “breaking” and the connection keeps timing out, too.

      I’m feeling the need to mention to my E-9 that our CT & crypto kids, when they are skylarking and lollygagging about could be cobbling up a redirection reverse infector . . .

      Adores: 0
  18. 2011 May 6

    I’ve always wondered, since pantyliners have adhesive strips on them, doesn’t it hurt when you pull them off?

    What?

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 May 6
      LimeLolly permalink

      I’ll never forget the day my husband asked my son to go get him a bandaid. Child brought him one of my feminine hygiene pads, and was quite upset when Daddy wouldn’t use it on his boo-boo.

      Adores: 10
      • 2011 May 6
        Lola permalink

        Best. Story. Ever.

        Adores: 6
      • 2011 May 6

        When they were young, my nephews decorated the bathroom walls with their mother’s pantyliners and were found trying to launch the “rockets” they found in the Tampax box.

        Adores: 8
      • 2011 May 6
        CapnMac permalink

        Again, have unique application tales, but decorum, etc. . . .

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 6
          LimeLolly permalink

          Be bold, Always .

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 May 6
      Windrose permalink

      Y’know, jg, I’m sure you could borrow one from your wife and find out. 8)

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 6

        Ow! Ow! Ow!

        How do you gals stand that? Must be one of those things like childbirth – “if men had the babies, the human race would come to an end” sort of thing.

        Adores: 6
  19. 2011 May 6
    LimeLolly permalink

    Ah-Kuhn , we’re sharing the bawks today! I’m so excited, I could pee.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 May 6
      mudslicker permalink

      *hands you a pantiliner*

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 May 6

      Good thing we coated the Lounge in Teflon after the first Tacosplosion.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 May 6
        mudslicker permalink

        I thought it was coated in Tyvek.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 6

          Like the number of corners, the coatings of the Snark Lounge are many and mutable.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 6
          CapnMac permalink

          Are they Wayne’s coating?

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 6

          Wayne’s coating and Thompson’s Water Seal.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 May 6
          Lola permalink

          “Wayne’s Coat, Wayne’s Coat, Snarky Time, Excellent!”

          Adores: 6
  20. 2011 May 6
    Caro permalink

    I defy 105 sports fans to wear this: http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n163/UtterCaro/public%20pix/goteam.jpg

    (I feel a bit like Taco, waving my massive link. I suck at HTML.)

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 6
      LimeLolly permalink

      Hey… that’s perfect for the post-menopausal fan!

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 May 6
      Lola permalink

      You have a massive link, and you suck? I have a friend I’d like to introduce you to …

      *corner*

      Adores: 6
  21. 2011 May 6

    Isn’t the 105 pantiliner the main gun on the new M1A1 Bikini tank? I think it fires blonde bombshells…

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 6

      Redheads.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 May 6

        Hey LucyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyBOOOM!!

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 May 6
          Lola permalink

          Hammy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 6

          But I told you, I don’t know what that smell is or how guacamole got up in there…

          Adores: 4
  22. 2011 May 6
    ToBScholarly permalink

    To use a pantiliner defiantly, couldn’t I simply adhere them to my forehead? Or shirt sleeve? Or any such conspicuous place?

    Or maybe I should make a pantiliner silhouette of Gaddafi? He seems pretty defiant.

    Adores: 4
  23. 2011 May 6
    SpaceBug permalink

    Hmmm, I recognize that sign.
    Saw it out near Boring, Nevada in front of that newly renovated brothel.

    Um… …er…. …corner?

    Adores: 4
  24. 2011 May 6
    Addicted Reader permalink

    The best part of the sign is that someone Sucks at Tracing, since if you look closely you can see the light green e under the a.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 6
      Windrose permalink

      Wow, Eagle-Eye AR! Good catch. What a douche farmer!

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 9
        mudslicker permalink

        I think that wasn’t an “e” but actually a theta. Veggies with a lisp!

        Fresh Vθggies!

        Adores: 0
  25. 2011 May 9
    funky monkey permalink

    I wonder if their vaggies are organic? There’s nothing worse than vaggies that have pesticides on them. Bleh.

    Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.