YSaC, Vol. 966: Rabbit, run!

2011 April 13

Just thought I would keep batshit crazy week going for another day. I’m sure there’s a rational story behind this; it seems to involve a rabbit, and a Nintendo DS, and solid wall of crazy, but I can’t be bothered to try to figure it out.

Re: lion head bunny (white) STOP WRITTING MY 9YR OLD DAUGHTER


omg some people are really sick like this person trying to sell a all white lion head female bunny i wrote this lady a few days ago and let her know my daughter was interrested and that she would be willing to trade some thing for her bunny which was a ds and a game first she said she is a older female in her 40’s and did not know what a ds was and what else she had then she wrote back a few minutes later saying she would do it after all but after talking to my daughters father and with her we felt like a ds and a game was a little to much for a bunny that comes with nothing and that there were other bunnys on here for cheaper and some that really needed a new home unlike this breeder ..but she keeped on writing my daughter back with ??????? and thats all that was in the email mind you this is my daughters email she was writting to. I let her know that from the begging of the conversation with her. well we did not get those emails that day the next day my daughter gets on her email to check if she got somthing from her grandma and there where the emails from the day before so she opened them up and was trying to write her and let her know we would pay cash she is a 9 yr old so she was excited that she was going to get it we seen it get posted again but I geuss my daughters email was messed up when she tried to reply and this is what i got back from htis nasty lady I WILL LEAVE OUT NAMES AS SHE IS EVEN GOING AS FOR AS CALLING MY DAUGHTERS NAME OUT AND CALLING HER A NAMES …AND PLS ROSE LEARN HOW TO SPELL!!!***SHE IS ONLY 9 YRS OLD.***READ** I HOPE SOME ONE BUYS YOUR BUNNY I FEEL SO SORRY FOR THE BUNNY YOU HAVE NOTHING TO CARE FOR THE BUNNY NO FOOD CAGE NOTHING SO SAD…AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION I LIVE IN A LOVELY HOME THAT I BOUGHT MYSELF A SINGLE 25 YR OLD MOTHER DOING IT THANK YOU.. NOT A TRAILER PARK DEAR I DO HAVE YOUR INFORMATION AND IF YOU WRITE MY DAUGHTER ONE MORE TIME I WILL INVOLVE JSO !!!!!!!!
SHE WROTE:
Leave me the F alone. Your weird sending messages blank to me everyday just to be sending them. Good grief do you not have a life or something>????????
Alkida wierdo (MY DAUGHTERS NAME)
OMFG!!!!!! Okay whatever lady. I am so glad my bunny did not go to a Psycho Path like you. You were probably going to give her to your Trailer Park Snake or eat for dinners. Your the one sending empty emails. All your emails did not have anything on them. You are stupid I guess. Give me a break. Wow, your Crazy!!!!!!! And I am not 40 LMAO!!!!!!!
Your Blocked asshole.

AND YOU SAID YOU WHERE IN YOUR 40’S

What is a DS? I am in my 40’s and have no little kids, so I don’t know what it is. lol
What else does she have to trade? This bunny is litter trained so she could just put her litter box in her room and she can run around. This bunny is super sweet and is fantastic at going in the litter box. Its so cool. This is the first rabbit I ever had that’s litter trained. She is also friendly and you can hold her all day long.

IF SOME ONE HAS A BUNY THAT NEEDS A NEW HOME PLS EMAIL ME ASAP AS I WOULD LIKE TO GET ONE FOR MY DAUGHTER WILL PAY CASH WOULD PREFER ONE WITH A CAGE.TY

——————————
————————————————–
From:
To:
Subject: Re: BUNNY email wasnt working properly and u dint get messages from my 9yrold mind you

Are you serious I let you know from the beging thats this was a little 9 yr old girl trying to get this bunny that she really wanted but we her parents decided that a ds for a bunny was kinda to much but she was writing to you to ask if she can trade other things are if she can just buy it but omg weird is not even the words to describe you I feel sorry for that bunny and have no interrest in it I also will be posting this to let everyone know what kind of person you are do you know that my daughter is heart broken she really wanted your bunny you even lied and said someone was interrested and left ???? messages just to get the ds you are truly a mean nasty person this message just tore her apart I cant believe you you said you where 40 yrs old act like it

This reads like we just walked into the middle of a year-long argument between the Hatfields and McCoys about whose moonshine “accidentally” blew up whose outhouse. Only I suspect that compared to this, the Hatfields and McCoys were John Updike.

Thanks for today’s crazy, Jennipher!

192 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 April 13
    Lara permalink

    Alkida wierdo (MY DAUGHTERS NAME)

    I want my last name to be Wierdo. Is it me or is her first name a misspelling of a terrorist group? Batshit crazy indeed.

    Adores: 16
  2. 2011 April 13
    Lara permalink

    Your Blocked asshole.

    She should really go to the doctor about that.

    Adores: 40
    • 2011 April 13

      Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand…..today’s sinus enema brought to you by….Dr. Lara!!

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 April 13
      CapnMac permalink

      That’s what happens when you give teen legos to a pre-teen . . .

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 13

        Or one too many Frosted Mini-Wheats and not enough liquid refreshment.

        So … Much … Clogging …

        Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 13

      There’s no fiber like moral fiber.

      Adores: 11
      • 2011 April 13
        Windrose permalink

        HHFN!!!!! Miss you here so much! 8)

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13

          I’ve missed you guys, too! All of my clever has been gone and I didn’t want to plague you with my usual herping and derping.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          But derping is our speciality. Just look at Lara! And Mr. Winkey!

          **looks at “speciality”.**

          Shut up, it’s a word now.
          Because I said so.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13
          Lara permalink

          I take full responsibility for my derping but my speciality is herding cats. Get it right.

          Adores: 6
  3. 2011 April 13
    Lara permalink

    AND YOU SAID YOU WHERE IN YOUR 40′S

    This seems to be the most important part of this tirade. I don’t know why. Any pithy/snarky thoughts?

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 13

      For those who follow the Psycho Path, lunacy begins at forty…

      Adores: 12
      • 2011 April 13
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        No, it begins when you have kids ……

        Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 13

      This could easily be misunderstood as ‘you said you were in your 40s’, but I think it’s more of a question regarding this person’s station in life as a 40 something. As if to say ‘You said you’re where in your 40’s?’, like come on man, you’re in your 40s, and you’re better than that. However, taken in context I think it’s safe to say that we have another meth posting. And it’s completely nonsensical. And frightfully awesome.

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 13
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, I’m old and nautical, so the first thing “40’s” evokes in me is that area, the “fetch” across the Indian Ocean near 40ºS that is still referred to as the “Roaring Forties.”

      Since it would be difficult to assert ownership (and easily contestible in international maritime courts) of open ocean known for regularly having weeks of 9-12m waves, my brain seeks other explanation.

      So, perhaps rather than being in one’s “cups,” Sparkie is asserting some form of regular abuse of 40 ounce alcoholic beverage. The deliberate use of the possessive, rather than the more-ubiquitous “yur” “yr” or “UR” forms may be reinforcing this.

      But, I’m still trying to sort out if this “lion” creature [bunny, buny, hare, ribbit, wabbit, whatever] is, in fact, striped like a not.a.lion . . .

      Adores: 3
  4. 2011 April 13

    This woman’s gene pool is in need of chlorine.

    Adores: 17
    • 2011 April 13

      Screw chlorine. (No, don’t. It hurts.) Chlorine doesn’t kill the crazy. Her genepool needs to be drained, put on dialysis, and then transported to a new hole in the ground, preferably one without lead in it.

      Adores: 8
      • 2011 April 13
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        I second that idea.

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 13

        Screw chlorine.

        I was always told Fluorine was the real slut of the elements. I mean, it’s the most electronegative. And Fluorine even sounds like a stripper name.

        Adores: 10
        • 2011 April 13

          Or a waitress at a truck stop.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          First take the mascot of your highschool, that’s your first name.

          Second take the day of the month of your birth and look up the element assciated with it.

          That is your new 1990’s era porn star name:

          Lets see I was born on the 5th so…

          I’m “Ram Boron!”

          Ew.

          Edit:

          My wife is “Badger Argon”.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 13
          Bombdude permalink

          Monsoon Aluminium…

          Huh? Not.A.Pornstar… Hot mess, maybe…

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Aluminium Monsoon is totally a Club Mix group.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          Cougar Tantalum!

          What the Hotel is “tantalum”? I’m not sure I did that right.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          Yeah, that can’t be right, unless there is a new month I don’t know about that has 73 or more days in it.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13
          Lola permalink

          Bulldog Chromium?!?!?

          Well, I guess someone has to star in leather-queen fetish films.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 13

          I thought, no way does this work. My HS team was the “Cyclones”, and my element is Magnesium, so “Cyclone Magnesium”. It kind of does work though.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13

          I like to think way outside the box.

          Okay, that would make me Cougar Chromium. I kinda like that one. It sounds like a giant shiny cat.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13
          Bombdude permalink

          Bulldog Chromium?!?!?

          So I was saying to…

          OH Look!!! SHINY!!!

          Edit: Ooohh More SHINY!!!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          I didn’t go to a school that had any sort of a sports team unless you count competitive locker stuffing as a sport, so I’ll have to go with one of our pro sports teams, which would make me either Jay or Barney Iron.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13
          Lola permalink

          My college mascot would make me Cougar Chromium. That’s clearly a Mrs. Robinson-esque type of fantasy. I’m now trying to figure out if she’s married to Bulldog or whether he’s her brother …

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Griffin Vandium.

          For some reason, I have the spelling as “gryphon” in my head, but Wikipedia lists that as an alternate spelling, and Firefox spellcheck gives it a red underline. (It also underlines the word “spellcheck,” which is oddly entertaining.)

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13

          Imp Lithium.

          Somehow, it doesn’t have quite that ring to it…

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Astro, I like it. The contrast between the activity of an imp and the calming effect of lithium is delicious. Also, being young, I think “Imp” is a good name for you.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13

          Don’t take offense, Lola, but I wouldn’t have guessed that you went to BYU.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          Don’t take offense, Lola, but I wouldn’t have guessed that you went to BYU.

          So does that mean that, as a BYU alum, I should be offended? :-p

          Oh, and my name would be “Royal Comet Copper.” Hmm… If I switch it around to “Copper Comet” I could totally be a superhero sidekick!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13

          You’re right EB. Never assume anything about anyone.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          Trojan Calcium at your service, ma’am.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13

          Nutritional supplement and a prophylactic. What a great idea! (I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader to determine how the mineral is delivered. And to whom.)

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 13
          Lola permalink

          jg, not even close. BYU was in the same time zone as my undergrad alma mater, that’s about the closest I got to it. Big ol’ state university here.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13
          Lara permalink

          Grad School mascot makes me:
          Golden Flash Boron because no one knows what it means so I can always live up to it plus it makes me a woman of mystery. And possibly static electricity.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13
          LimeLolly permalink

          So… that makes me Eagle Phosphorous… a flying, glowing object.
          Hey, I’m a UFO !

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 13
          Windrose permalink

          Brave Sodium. But I’m trying to cut down. 8/

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 14
          Karmyn permalink

          I’m Hornet Clorine. So I sting and burn. So I’m the one that infects the others and gets the industry shut down for a few weeks. Nice to know.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 14
          Ruth permalink

          Spartan Scandium.

          ……yep.

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 13
      CapnMac permalink

      Uhm, I’m thinking this gene pool ought to have been dehydrated and the resultant particulates chemically bonded to radioactive waste a generation or three ago . . .

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 15
        Clumber permalink

        Tiger Hydrogen

        Several options if we expand from just high school mascots…

        Leopard Hydrogen; Viking Hydrogen; Mustang Hydrogen… but my favorite is my college one if just for the lovely alliteration:
        Husky Hydrogen!

        Adores: 0
  5. 2011 April 13

    The Lion, the Bitch and the Psycho…

    Adores: 15
    • 2011 April 13

      Hey Ham, I used your go to blank comment and got in trouble with my buddy. He wrote some soft and sexually ambiguous post about his girlfriend. I left a blank comment. Never heard the end of it. Apparently snark doesn’t fly where newly found old girlfriends are concerned. Pfft.

      Just trying to use proper citations and give credit where it’s due.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 13
        TacoMagic permalink

        If your comment remains blank for more than 4 hours, call a doctor.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 13

          Blank

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 13
        Lola permalink

        Corey, the best part of your comment is the “Pffft!” I love it.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13

          I got fired today. Pfft.

          Adores: 0
  6. 2011 April 13

    Sparkles is definitely walking on the Psycho Path.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 13

      Which leads to CRAZY CITY, POPULATION: SPARKY!

      When is this coffee going to kick in?

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 13
        TacoMagic permalink

        I’ve been asking myself that all morning CP. Seems the coffee faerie might have put decaf in the pot or something.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13

          I’m trying to coax the caffeine out with a muffin, but so far it’s just hiding under my pancreas and refusing to come out.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 13

          Try poking it with a stick.

          Or you can rattle the treats bag, that works when the cat won’t come out from under the photon.

          Adores: 13
        • 2011 April 13

          I tried that. It just growled, then ate the stick. It seems to be responding to threats with a can of Red Bull though.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13

          Simmer down, guys! You’ll scare my can of Monster!

          (Which I totally deserve, because: Almost got merged into by a guy who kept changing lanes as I was honking at him, MrEB’s flight home is majorly delayed, cat horked on the floor [ONLY while Mr is out of town??], and someone at work drank the rest of my milk. Unfortunately, my office doesn’t have a happy little padded, soundproof room where I can scream my head off for a few minutes… If I tried that in the conference room, I think I’d be sent to the Craigslist Insane Asylum. So caffeine will have to substitute. </rant>)

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 13

          So that’s what CIA stands for! That explains a lot.

          I find, however, that when frustration and stress set in at work, the best course of action is to try and turn everything anyone says, or anything you say in response, into a private euphemism.

          “Absolutely, you’ll have my report on your desk shortly.”
          “It’s raining out. I may have to use my umbrella.
          “Sorry, I haven’t seen your pe(n)cil.”

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 April 13

          Bahhahaha, instant giggles! And it’s even better, because one of my current projects is collecting and evaluating anatomy images.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 13

          OT: Where’s Irregular Fractal when you need him?

          P.S. Uhm? This was supposed to go way at the bottom as a new comment. *sprinkles birdseed around the post*

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13
          Windrose permalink

          EB, I’m sorry! I can’t cross the streams and move the posts. I can edit and correct speeling, but that’s my limited ability. Sigh. All that wasted bird seed.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13
          TacoMagic permalink

          I had to replace the harddrive in the PACS server.

          My job doesn’t euphemismitate very well.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13

          Mine euphemismiates quite well, actually.

          I had to look up a lot of parts today, like a crankshaft and a female spline kit. Never you mind about the pistons.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13

          My school day does it well. A lot of times my teachers do it consciously.

          Honors Chemistry:
          “When your crucible has been massed, call me to the back so I can light your burner.” – My Chemistry Teacher
          “Fluorine likes to bond with anything because it’s so electronegative.” – My Chemistry Teacher
          Honors Civics and Economics:
          “T-Paine wrote Common Sense. Thomas Jefferson took his and John Locke’s ideas and wrote them into the Declaration of Independence.” – The Student Teacher
          “Rational people will choose the option that seems to them to secure the greatest net benefit.” – The Real Teacher
          Symphonic Band:
          “I want you to mount the tambourine and hit it with a stick.” – My Band Director
          “You’re either going to have to double tongue, or learn to single tongue like a beast.” – My Band Director
          Latin I:
          “Sex? Sex? Anyone to answer number sex? Come on, I can’t get teenagers interested in sex? Must be a bunch of Methodists.” – The Magister
          “Sextus Molestus gladium stringit e vaginam gladii.” – A Random Latin Sentence

          Adores: 7
  7. 2011 April 13
    penguin permalink

    I think both the seller and Sparky were under the influence of Jefferson Airplane.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 13

      And airplane glue.

      Adores: 16
      • 2011 April 13

        Worst part about it is, any time she picks will be the wrong week to stop sniffing it.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 13

          I think she has skipped sniffing the stuff and gone straight to freebasing it.

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 13

        She does seem to be in a huff.

        Adores: 7
        • 2011 April 13
          Windrose permalink

          *dons Groucho glasses and gets a cigar* If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.

          Adores: 8
  8. 2011 April 13
    TacoMagic permalink

    I’d love to snark, but I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I mean I’m only 29, you guys knew that from the beginning I need more sleep than this if I’m gonna snark so leave my F alone I’ve got way more and better letters that you can play with!!elebenty why do you all keep looking at me like that?!? STOP LOOKING AT ME! THE HIDEOUS EYE I MUST MAKE IT STOP LOOKING AT ME! THE BEATING OF THE HIDEOUS EYE! OH BUNNY!

    Mudsy, tell me about the rabbits again.

    Adores: 15
    • 2011 April 13
      mudslicker permalink

      I don’t know if I’m old enough…..

      😉

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 13

      Ah, lovely quote from “Of Mice and Mania”

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 13

      Show the court on this dictionary where Sparky touched your F.

      Adores: 13
  9. 2011 April 13

    I think this makes it offiicial: It’s Shark Batshit Crazy Week on Discovery YSaC.

    For me, once allowed to boil, reduce, caramelize and begin to smell like Brett Butler’s liquid career, it read like this:

    “Hey, okay, so like there’s this sicko woman who is trying to sell a lion head bunny THAT IN NO WAY SOUNDS LIKE A EUPHEMISM and my daughter who said she was a female in her 40s wanted a bunny and wanted to trade a DS and a game for it, whatever he hell that is that I nevertheless feel qualified to pass a value judgment on, because I thought it was too much to offer for a lion head bunny NOT A EUPHEMISM but the woman kept E-mailing my 9-year old daughter in her 40s with nothing but question marks which is SICK, YOU SICK CONSTIPATED SICKY SICKO. I don’t need your stinking bunny, I don’t have any kids! I bought a nice 25-year-old woman for my beautiful home WHICH IS NOT A TRAILER PARK, do you need a bunny? STOP SENDING MY 9-40-YEAR-OLD-NON-EXISTANT-DAUGHTER WEIRD E-MAILS! I need a bunny, preferably a caged one, would you like a bunny? YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I WILL BE LETTING EVERYONE KNOW WHAT A HORRIBLE, SICK, PERVERTED, CONSTIPATED SICKO YOU ARE! My lion head bunny is litter trained.

    Sincerely,

    Alkida Weirdo’s Mother, Esq.

    Adores: 13
    • 2011 April 13
      mudslicker permalink

      It’s Alkida Wierdo.

      Just saying…

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 13

        Good point. I think my brain, having had to machine-gun Skitt’s Law all over that entire post simply refused to deal with any more misspellings until I could get the caffeine out from under my pancreas.

        COME ON, IT’S A CORN MUFFIN! You like corn muffins!

        Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 13

      If your read it from bottom to top it makes more “sense” chronologically, but it’s still chock-full of sweet craziness.

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 April 13

        Well, I had presumed that in some fashion or other this post was actually a series of E-Mail exchanges, but there’s only one separation evident, but if read (not recommended) it seems like there should be more than that — like this should actually be two or three exchanges rather than just the one apparent exchange. One seemingly after “Alkida Wierdo” and perhaps another after “WHATEVER LADY”. But it all reads like a single person with multiple personalities who don’t like each other very much.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 13
          Lara permalink

          my daughter who said she was a female in her 40s

          So do you think she’s a male in his 20’s then? Methinks Alkida Weirdo doth protest too much

          Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 13

        Yes, if you really stop to think about it you can make this make sense, and can almost figure out where “GIVE MY DAUGHTER A BUNNY” lady is speaking and where she is quoting. But that kind of ruins the fun of it, and doesn’t actually reduce the symphony of crazy to a mere crazy sonata.

        Adores: 8
        • 2011 April 13

          if you really stop to think about it

          This would be your first mistake. Parsing CL ads is like solar observation. You don’t look directly at it without a filter that blocks out most of the direct radiation and leaves you with specific wavelengths of light you can examine in a general sort of way. If you want you can go back and apply different filters to look at different wavelengths, but for CL ads it’s more trouble than its worth and may, when assembled into a larger picture of the whole, cause you to understand the mind of a crazy CL poster, which in kind may turn you into one.

          Adores: 9
        • 2011 April 13

          I keep trying to make it make sense and it is failing to do so.

          It’s making my brain go all twitchy.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 13

          This is a decree calling for Mindfield’s comment to be placed in a holy and prominent place on this site’s front page. It really sums up the whole of every ad we see here. Please do.

          Adores: 6
      • 2011 April 13

        Y’all are much better at parsing crazy than I am.

        I got…um…solid, batshit, sweet clothespin Jeebus, craziness…and that’s all.

        Adores: 7
    • 2011 April 13
      Lara permalink

      MF, Why do you have to be so damn funny. WHERE IS MY TOAST!

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 13

        Your toast is coming right up with a healthy side of nuts.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          :raises glass:

          A toast to your healthy nuts!

          :trips over line:

          Adores: 8
  10. 2011 April 13
    mudslicker permalink

    I WILL INVOLVE JSO !!!!!!!!

    Why would you want to get the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra involved in this black market bunny trade? Is it all about the OBOs?

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 April 13

      [matt]JSO stands for Justice Sleuths Organization, an offshoot of the Justice League comprised of people who like to dress up like Sherlock Holmes and argue about crimes while using cocaine and playing the violin.
      The JL doesn’t like to talk about them much.[/matt]

      Adores: 8
    • 2011 April 13
      penguin permalink

      No, no, no. JSO is Jefferson Starship (the) Offshoot. See my post above.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 13

        According to wacky cousin Wiki, it can also mean;

        Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, a law enforcement entity in Jacksonville, Florida,

        Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra, an American Symphony Orchestra also in Jacksonville, Florida, or

        Jedinica za Specijalne Operacije, a Serbian Elite Police Unit.

        I’d like to think it’s that last one.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13
          mudslicker permalink

          That was yesterday’s post….aka “the fake police”

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 13
      Lara permalink

      Clearly the Orchestra has been holding the bunny hostage.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 13

        Destroy all copies of Pachelbel’s Canon in D major or the bunny gets it!

        Adores: 7
        • 2011 April 13

          I think bunnies getting canonized should be far more fun than the Catholics make it.

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 13
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, one normally calls Joint Service Operations (Command) when one wants JDAMs (Joint Direct Attack Munition) delivered. Which is probably a lot more ‘whupazz’ than Spark’ thinks it is.

      After all, a quarter-ton (or more) of explosives delivered into a 1-1.2m radius is bit more dramatic than a 40oz bottle of burning gasoline.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 13

        Cap, I’m gonna give you the props you deserve for the tactical perspective. Love it!

        Adores: 0
  11. 2011 April 13
    Windrose permalink

    Hi Sports fans, and welcome to Day Three of Bat Shit Crazy Week at YSaC. Today’s competitor is a rookie from Crazyville, a popular favorite with the crowd. Listen to those cheers as she steps up to the plate. Here’s the pitch, and it’s a LION HEAD BUNNY! Oh, that’s a tough one. But Ms. Weirdo pulls out her daughter Alkida! And the Bunny is sent back to the pitcher! There’s a DS on the play, so wait– Yes, the ref calls foul and sends Alkida to her room. Let’s watch that play in slow mo. Our pitcher Rose pretends to be in her 40’s but she has moves of a much younger contender. Okay, the second pitch goes out, and it’s a Blocked Asshole! The crowd goes wild! Can Ms. Weirdo send this one out of the park? We’ll be back after this commercial break!

    Adores: 20
    • 2011 April 13
      Lara permalink

      Today’s sponsor of Batshit Crazy Week is Guano Facial Treatments because everybody needs to be shit faced sometimes! Now back to the game!

      Adores: 18
  12. 2011 April 13
    Camille permalink

    The lionhead bunnies are way too cute to be left to the Wierdo family.

    Adores: 3
  13. 2011 April 13
    Lola permalink

    You know, I don’t have much to say today. I think that as a NYer who encounters high levels of in-person batshittery (aka mondo guano) on a regular basis, I’m just enjoying the fact that this week I can encounter and laugh at it via the safety of a modem, without having to deal with whether or not the BSC is trying to make eye contact while muttering potential insults, or, worse, usually, emitting any offensive olfactory product (as happened the other morning).

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 13
      mudslicker permalink

      It’s like playing NYC Subway on Wii.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 April 13
        Lola permalink

        People pay money for that experience?

        … Oh, wait …

        Adores: 6
  14. 2011 April 13
    Windrose permalink

    Today, the box is loaded with . . .cats. Congrats CJ and GC. 8)

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 13

      Kewl! Look GC, we gots da bawks together! Did you bring the Kibbles?

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 13

        I haz them. You want the double chocolate, the cherry chocolate, or the raspberry white chocolate?

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13

          Yes!!!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13

          One Diabetic’s Delight, coming right up!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13
          Bombdude permalink

          Howz about one of these ?

          I think it has all bases covered…

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 13
      Bombdude permalink

      Does that make it a cat box? Whose turn is it to clean it tomorrow?

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 13
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        That would be yours.

        are you sure you don’t live in my house?

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13
          Bombdude permalink

          Well, not in precisely… These’re some nice bushes you have here…

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          That looks like poison ivy from here.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 13
          Bombdude permalink

          Crap!

          *itches*

          Adores: 1
  15. 2011 April 13
    Karmyn permalink

    When you name your child Alkida Wierdo, you just invite the mocking. It would be rude not to accept it.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 April 13

      I dunno, I can kinda see where resentment can come from. I still haven’t forgiven my mother for naming me Kraft Singles.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 April 13
        Lara permalink

        But they say you’re so nutritious!

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13

          And yet nobody has accepted my invitation to eat me. That Axe Chocolate Guy has it easy.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13

          :pats Mindfield on the head:

          We still think you’re the cheesiest.

          Adores: 5
  16. 2011 April 13

    Okay, who has the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch??

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 13
      Bombdude permalink

      I think I had it last. Hang on *rummages aronud in the desk drawers* Yep! here it is!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 13

        O Lawd, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits; in thy mercy. And the Lord didst grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu..?

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13

          HHNF….I now have a huge girl-crush on you.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          Tis a horribly misguided attraction. Anyone here can tell you that.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          Well, then stop quoting Monty Python, woman!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13
          Mr. Winkey permalink

          I still haven’t given up our love.

          **giggles girlishly as he winks at HHNF**

          Adores: 6
  17. 2011 April 13
    Bombdude permalink

    …AND PLS ROSE LEARN HOW TO SPELL!!!

    Ahem… Yeah…

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 13

      I was a bit (read: one machillion) horrified to learn that this was, in fact, the mother of a child who most likely has better communication skills than she.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 13

      Huh. I know I edited that out. Must have forgotten to save!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 13
        Bombdude permalink

        Actually, my dear Llamanun (BBUY), I was referencing the “pot calling the kettle black” issue of spelling, rather than calling anyone out for leaving names in…

        Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 13
      Addicted Reader permalink

      I noticed that, but it seemed too easy a target.

      Adores: 0
  18. 2011 April 13

    This is my most shameful moment. I didn’t think anyone here would ever see this. I’ve learned to not shop for my bunnies on craigslist.

    Adores: 14
    • 2011 April 13
      mudslicker permalink

      “No bunnies for you!”

      –The Bunny Nazi

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 13

        If the bunny Nazi, trim the hair on his little face!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Ja vol comrade. Will a short little mustache that goes right above his top lip work for you?

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13

          I asked Pegasus to grow one, but he’s been Stalin.
          *I’ll just be over here….*

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 13
          mudslicker permalink

          Yeah, my husband’s been Stalin at shaving his beard off. I keep telling him to hurry up.

          At least he’s not Mussolini. I hate messy pasta.

          Adores: 1
  19. 2011 April 13
    D / DM permalink

    I’m not sure which is bat-shittier: allowing your 9-year-old to conduct a business transaction involving her own (expensive) personal property over the Internet, or negotiating with a 9-year-old when you’re not interested in the trade she offered over the Internet. This situation reminds me of the time I…

    …no, I’ve never been involved in anything even remotely like this.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 April 13
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Yeah, I think what moved this over the line from regular crazy to Batshit Crazy(c) is the involvement on the 9 year old. I know kids are tech savvy at a young age these days, but there’s a lot of crazy out there on the internet! I mean look at this!! I wouldn’t let anyone under the age of 18 interact with this poster.

      I think we need to call CPS.

      Adores: 1
  20. 2011 April 13
    TacoMagic permalink

    Re: lion head bunny (white) STOP WRITTING MY 9YR OLD DAUGHTER

    YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME, HUH BUNNY?! ARE YOU ALSO BETTER THAN FIRE?!!

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 April 13

      Yes, yes she is.

      Napalm-infused octane, however, is not your average fire.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 13
      Lara permalink

      Hyperbole and a Half reference FTW!

      Adores: 2
  21. 2011 April 13
    SisterLyle permalink

    This entire week of crazy has made my brain melt… I think I’ll spend the remainder of this week in the corner, thanks.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 13
      Bombdude permalink

      As was previously referenced, it just makes me feel better about my own mental health…

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 13
        TacoMagic permalink

        Sorta like going to a state fair, Walmart, a flea market, or the deep South.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 13

          or the deep South

          I would resent that remark, but I live here so … yeah, that’s about right.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 13

          Interesting. I don’t consider NC part of the deep south. I think we’re more like the middle-part-of-the-pool-that’s-definitely-not-the-shallow-end-but-not-quite-the-deep-end-yet south.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 14
          Bombdude permalink

          Agreed…

          Alabamians speak a furren langwidge

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 13
        Bombdude permalink

        I can’t even count the number of times I have been on the receiving end of “Yer not from around here, are ya…”

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13

          I’ve come to the conclusion that “Round Heah” is the name of an alternate dimension that often overlaps ours. That way I can say for certain that no, I’m not from Round Heah.

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 13

        Awww… Bombdude’s part of the Kitty Mafia now.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 13
          Bombdude permalink

          Peer pressure’s a bitch…

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 13
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Too cute!!!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 13

          Kitty!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 13
          Lara permalink

          Is there a llama brigade? I don’t suppose drmk (Bees be upon her) and I make a brigade all by ourselves.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 14
          CapnMac permalink

          Takes (at least) three Squads to make a Platoon; [LT]
          At least three platoons to the Company; [CPT]
          At least two Companies to make a Battalion; [MAJ]
          Two or more Battalions to make a Regiment; [COL]
          Two or more Regiments makes a Brigade, which is lead by a Brigadier General.

          So, no, it takes three licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

          (Two or more Regiments are a Division; [MGen]
          Two or more Divisions are a Corps; [LGen]
          Two or more Corps are an Army; [GEN]
          Two ore more Armies are a Theater, that’s a Field Marshal in many armies; 5 -star General, aka General of the Army–a rank only used in wartime.
          Thus endeth the lesson; now to the Grenade, (holy) Pits!)

          Adores: 0
  22. 2011 April 13
    LimeLolly permalink

    Whew… I’m here late today. Only thing that came to mind after reading the crazy is ala Veggie Tales:

    The Bunny, the bunny, whoa I love the bunny
    I don’t love my mom or my dad, just the bunny
    The Bunny, the bunny, Yeah I love the bunny
    I gave everything that I had for the bunny

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 13

      I don’t want no health food when it’s time to feed
      A big bag of bunnies is all that I need!
      *I love Rack, Shack and Benny*

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 13
      Lara permalink

      “I don’t want no pickles, I don’t want no honey, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny”

      I like to sing that song with as much drama as possible around Easter.

      Adores: 2
  23. 2011 April 13
    Windrose permalink

    Speaking of coffee slices — what, we weren’t? Well, we are now!

    http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/08/coffee-cake-literally/

    Mmmmm!

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 14
      Bombdude permalink

      Nomnomnom….

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 14

      Oh … my. That looks awesome. I may actually have to make that. Except I don’t have any instant coffee around here. (Yes, I’m a coffee snob.) But I could make an exception for real coffee slices.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 14
        Windrose permalink

        That’s what I’m thinking. However, couldn’t you just make some espresso and use that instead? Experimentation is called for!

        Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 14
      CapnMac permalink

      Want extremely badly; nigh unto terribly (including N. Malden Icelandic Saga Terrible).

      Adores: 1
  24. 2011 April 14
    Windrose permalink

    Hold still, you crazy cats! Punchity Punch –Hey, get back here! Dag nabbit!

    G’Night, Watership Down!

    Adores: 1
  25. 2011 April 14
    Jennipher permalink

    Although I’m late to the game, I’m glad I could share this epic piece of craziness with you guys as it was just too amazing not to. This was from the Jacksonville craigslist and I’m so happy it got picked!

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 15
      Lola permalink

      Jennipher, clearly, we are all grateful for this “epic piece of craziness” (you might want to (TM) that, as it’s a good phrase). Thanks!

      Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.