YSaC, Vol. 939: I’ve got a great French Plancherel credenza to go with that!
2011 March 8
Fourier Mirror – $50
Exquisite fourier mirror in excellent shape. Any idea how much these things cost?! Yours for $50…better hurry.
While $50 is a good estimate, I suppose, I think a more accurate procedure would be to do some sort of spectral analysis on the mirror to determine the price.
Let’s see… plot the graph of that godawful frame… it IS periodic, so we’ll get some spikes in the transform… e to the minus 2 pi times i blah blah blah… integrate around the circumference of the mirror…
Oh dear. The value of the mirror appears to be “Ernest Borgnine.”
Thanks for the link, Nathan!
The reflection of legs in the mirror is simply to illustrate you would not be purchasing this from vampires.
All I kept thinking was, “You got MAGIC legs, Lt. Dan!”
That’s hardly convincing. The vampire could be in front of those legs. Give me a picture with the mirror pointing right back at the camera and we’ll talk.
Sparky can say howdy to General Zod, now that he’s trapped in the phantom zone…
This Phantom Zone must be for wealthy prisoners, it has a fancy frame. The movie one looked like a piece of plexiglass.
It also appears to have a garage door so you can cruise around the “zone” in your Mercedes.
I dunno…once it starts rotating things are gonna get pretty messy, quick.
Oh, I thought they meant “farrier mirrror” and the legs were there to display…well, that the mirror works well with feet and legs. Might be more convincing with horse legs.
Huh. So that’s what the bottom half of the Doublemint Twins looks like. (Hey, at least it isn’t reflectoporn.)
Maybe not, but those jorts and those man legs stuffed into flip-flops should still be considered offensive.
I was thinking of getting a Fresnel mirror for my front hall instead. That way, I could zap the neighbors when they got too annoying.
I’ve got Fibonacci’s mirror at home. But every time I look at it I seem to have gained weight.
I gave Laplace’s mirror to a friend. It’s really helped her live in the moment.
I read that as lapdance, I got all squicky inside.
Hammy, you got all squicky?
Pecil.
Lapdance, Taco, thong…
Yeah, squickiness ensued.
I see. Still not petting the puppy’s tummy, however.
Well, at least all four legs are intact.
Yup, no peg-legged pirate Sparky involved in this one!
A fourier mirror? Pssshhh…if it’s not at least a fiveier or sixier I’m not interested.
Fouriers are sooooooooo last millenium.
Hit up Uncle Google for Fourier Transforms… all I got was “Man In The Mirror” lyrics.
I thought the furrier transform was in Thriller?
*checks her math* Damn. I got “Jim Parsons.” *shakes her abacus* I never was any good at math. Must have forgotten to carry the pi.
I like pi.
And Jim Parsons ♥
The Super-Catulator 3K says it’s Jim Nabors…and the catulator likes cheese.
Well GOOoooOOO-ly!
The WildCatulator returned the result, “insert sleep, beer, or cold pizza.” *Looks in manual…do not attempt to use before 9 am local time* Darn.
I tried to do the fourier transform with my catulator, but the Humane Society took it away when I attempted it.
Nerdy joke.
I was positive that nobody would figure out where I stole that from.
Curses!
*twirls handlebar mustache*
In this crowd?
We’re too clever to fall for your joke-stealing tricks.
I think the guy on the right has a checkered oven mitt on his hand. Is the mirror reflective and heat-generating as well?
Well, Sparky did say that we’d better hurry. I guess that means ‘before it melts.’
:points to white spot on mirror:
AHHH! It’s a ghost!
And Sparky’s wearing flip-flops!
:runs:
Huh. So, if you bought this mirror, would you see yourself separated into your constituent frequencies?
“Hey, honey, c’mere, look. I lost a few hertz in my bottom end!”
I dunno freaky-puppy…I don’t think “hertz” and “bottom end” should be allowed in the same sentence.
I know a few people who might disagree.
And you wonder why I dubbed thee “freaky-puppy”? You thought it was for that smile, didn’t you? HA! Fooled you…I’m psychotic like that. I have ESPN.
I have ESPN2.
And The Speed Channel.
I have HBO.
C-Span AND C-Span2!!!
*jealous yet?*
I’ve always been jealous of you, Mudsy. ; )
There’s an entire “we’re jealous of Mudsy” club.
It’s called The “We’re Jealous of Mudsy” Club.
We suck at naming things, but we have jackets.
Yes for a snarky lot we’re surprisingly unimaginative at naming things.
All the things.
The jackets are really swank, though. Very 1984-MembersOnly.
Fuchsia with neon green dots. When we all stand together, we can be seen from space.
Well, we could be, if the astronauts didn’t insist on turning away crying “My eyes!!!”
My club jacket just has the initials, WeJoM. 8)
I’ll accept nothing less than jackets AND polo shirts!
My Not.A.Lion blood spins centripetally counter-clockwise during the months that contain 32 days and comes to rest only in the molar cavities of demon vampire trolls and the tear ducts of velveteen unicorns. It’s call whinnying, DUH!
*please forgive my Chuck Sheen moment*
😉
“OW! I dropped the friggin’ mirror on my foot!”
“Hertz, don’t it?”
I don’t need a Fourier mirror. How about a Mouliere mirror instead? That would make it French, right? Or a Dave Coulier mirror? Then it would be French-Canadian.
I thought the things came free with the cat in the hat. Or is Sparky referring to the cost of the damages that the things make? Although if I remember the book correctly, they did repair their own damages, so their should be no cost at all. What a silly Sparky.
I not only do not have any idea what these things cost, I don’t have any idea what it is.
I’d like to think a mirror actually used by Fourier would fetch more than $50. Of course, it’s possible this is a mis-spelling of ‘Fournier’, but you’d have trouble wedging something that size into the cockpit of a powered glider. Then again, there’s a ‘Forney’ which is a type of steam locomotive designed to run permanently backwards, so a decent-size mirror would be a must. I’m tempted to front the sockless Sparkies fifty bucks just for broadening my education…
That shalt not get fornier with members of the furniture kingdom.
I went to school with a girl surnamed Fournier, and judging by her grooming abilities, I don’t want mirrors of hers.
I’m thinking they were spelling “foyer” creatively. The word is French so at least they were on the right-ish track.
“Right” in a “French Preventional” sort of way. 8)
I see mirrors like this with quite a high frequency.
I must have to be smert to understand the subtlety of your comment.
Edit: And then I Googled it. And learned something new. Thank you.
[unpacking the joke corey]
It’s a math joke, much like Dan’s but a tad more subtle. It’s a jab at the Fourier Transform: which is one of the mathematical processes that convert equations into the frequency domain. It’s moments like this when my engineering/math background can’t help itself.
[/corey]
Even for those of us who aren’t math geeks but are into music or sound production, the FFT (Fast Fourier Transform) is a staple of analyzing audio or a piece of music to see where the frequencies are bunching up (or thinned out) so you can adjust the EQ to add or remove emphasis from a particular frequency range.
And here I thought transform meant it was supposed to turn into an Autobot. Paint me disappointed.
I have lots of paints on hand. What color is disappointed? *readies paintbrush*
I think it’s puce with turquoise squares.
Puce is definitely a color of disappointment… but I think adding turquoise squares brings an element of self-depreciation to the mix that just brings out the suckatude of the combination. 😀
And illustrates the inhumanity of artistes towards Man
I am sad; Ow! my eyes!
I used to like mirrors like this, but as they multiplied I found them becoming more convoluted.
Sorry, don’t have time to comment this morning. I need a new Fourier mirror, and do you have any idea how much those things cost? Ernest Borgnine!
I think it’s worth the cost, Windy. You get good vibrations from it.
Well, that seems pretty reasonable. Could you break a Bob Saget?
*hefts an axe* Which half would you like to pay with?
Hmmm…
*flips coin*
Heads!
That’s nothing. I’ll give you all of Justin Beaver.
No, seriously, take him. Please. I don’t even need the mirror for it, just make it go away.
I can’t stop making math jokes! Somebody help me!
…
I’ve tried to make the factors agree on the issues, but they remain divided.
HELP ME!
Just rememeber Occam’s Razor: Do not needlessly multiply entities. In which he meant, You keep makin’ math jokes, I’ll cut you, man.
If you get cut with Occam’s Razor, remember to be careful when applying Occam’s Aftershave.
Just remember, Taco, calculus and beer don’t mix well. Never drink and derive.
Just take the abacus out of his hands. Remember, friends (and siblings) don’t let friends (or siblings) drink and derive.
I can’t define calculus, but I know it when I see it.
We’ll let you stop when you’ve reached your quotient for the day.
Mirror, mirror, propped up to stand…
Who’s legs are fairest in this land?
The Sparky on the left looks to be a whiter shade of pale.
Sparky’s offering me $50 for my ideas? That’s nice of them!
So, here’s what you do. Take the $50, tell him you believe it’s worth $10, walk away with a mirror and $40.
Sounds like a good plan to me!
If you can get Sparky to give you the $40, even better.
Well I don’t know why I came here today.
I had a feeling that something weren’t right.
I’m so scared I can’t sit in a chair,
and I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs.
Legs they left from me!
Sparky’s to the right!
Here they are stuck in the mirror with yours.
Yes my legs are stuck in the mirror with yours,
and I’m wondering what it is I should do.
It’s so hard I can no longer pace.
Losing control yeah I fell on my face.
Legs they left from me!
Sparky’s to the right!
Here they are stuck in the mirror with yours.
Well you started off with selling
and you’re proud of your Fourier, man.
yeah
and all you can do is some crawling,
slap you on the back and say
Please . . .
Please . . .
Trying to make some sense of it all
but I can see I have no legs at all.
Is it cool if I fall on the floor?
I don’t think that I can get up anymore.
Legs they left from me!
Sparky’s to the right!
Here they are stuck in the mirror with yours.
Stuck in the mirror
Stuck in the mirror
Legs they left from me!
Sparky’s to the right!
Legs to the left of me!
Sparky’s to the right! (Stuck in the mirror)
Legs to the left of me!
Sparky’s to the right! (Stuck in the mirror)
Legs to the left of me!
Sparky’s to the right! (uh-uh)
Legs to the left of me!
Sparky’s to the right!
Here they are stuck in the mirror with yours.
Well you started off with selling
and you’re proud of your Fourier, man.
yeah
and all you can do is some crawling,
slap you on the back and say
Please . . .
Please . . .
Well I don’t know why I came here today.
I had a feeling that something weren’t right.
I’m so scared I can’t sit in a chair,
and I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs.
Legs to the left of me!
Sparky’s to the right!
Here they are stuck in the mirror with yours.
Stuck in the mirror with yours (ah-yeah)
Stuck in the mirror with yours
Here they are!
Stuck in the mirror with yours
With you, with you, with yours…
Beautiful. Have a belly rub.
The song is on the tip of my tongue but the cold medication won’t let it through >.<
I believe it’s called Stuck in Middle Earth With You.
That makes two of us — cold meds and all. I feel like I should know it but the cadence isn’t giving me any hints to the melody. This may be because the part of my brain responsible for musicality is, under the influence of Nyquil, presently still being rickrolled by the part of my brain responsible for being a dick.
Wow…wait a minute….I finally know a song ref…
So this is what it feels like…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1e63MpTDt8&playnext=1&list=PL5E47207FA216CA13
I couldn’t find the Dylan version…
Hammy – I knew exactly what song you were referencing, if it makes you feel any better.
*wags*
Couldn’t find the Dylan version? Please tell me that’s a joke. 🙂
😀
Every time I hear it, Michael Madsen is cutting off that cops’ ear in “Reservoir Dogs”.
And not in a good way.
Ok, so mathematical and musical references notwithstanding, what makes this mirror “exquisite”? How does sparky measure, and where are the lines drawn between “ok”, “nice”, “beautiful” and “exquisite”?
In this case I think “gaudy” is the synonym we’re looking for.
Leggy
BD (nice avvie, btw), I think in this case, the SparkSpeak translation is as follows:
exquisite = heavy, ornate frame that did not obviously come from Ikea
OT: But in a YSaC kinda way….
Was perusing possible destinations for hubby and I to spend our 35th wedding anniversary this June, when I came across this in the description of a resort…
“…We offer home style hosmlelelity….”
You know I almost want to go there, just so I can find out what the hell “hosmlelelity” is.
Is that resort in [location]? [location] is just crawling with hosmlelelity.
Oh it’s definitely in [location] alright. Hear the banjos?
Sounds kinda kinky. Or possibly it’s the name of one of those odd regional dishes they seem to have just for tourists.
“Yes, waiter; I’d like the Home Style Hosmlelelity with French Fries and extra gravy. Can I get the goat kabobs on the side?”
Well now all I can think about is the scene in “Funny Farm” when Chevy Chase breaks the record for eating goat testicles.
I thought it was bull testicles.
I think it was goat…they were called Lamb Fries, weren’t they?
I remember it as sheep testicles. Guess I’ll have to rent the movie.
Kid fries?
Uncle Google corroborates my memory. They were indeed sheep (lamb) testicles.
I’m also fairly sure he gets 1 away from beating the record but then learns what they are. I’ll go ask uncle google about that.
EDIT: Nope, he does break the record, by two testes!
I think Taco’s right…they were sheep testicles.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq4mqCDakVQ
Is there anything the Interwebby can’t provide? I think not.
I immediately thought of Terry Pratchett’s footnote on “regional specialties” in The Lost Continent:
One of these days I’m gonna have to read some of this Terry Pratchett fella’s stuff that everyone seems to enjoy so much.
Then there’s people like me that, despite being a picky little prat as a child (Taco can attest to this), now looks at those ‘food challenges’ on “The Amazing Race” and thinks “That looks yummy… why are they complaining? Cheek meat is the best part of that whole boiled sheep skull!”
Yes, sj, you must.
NOW
Any suggestions for a first time reader, AR?
Good Omens, with Neil Gaiman, (mentioned recently) is hysterically funny and is a stand-alone book.
All of the Discworld books are good, and most are excellent. I’m a stickler for reading things in order, so I read through all of the Discworld books in the order listed here. However, I didn’t like the first few books as much as most of the later ones, so if you want to start somewhere excellent, here are a few suggestions:
Wyrd Sisters, Pyramids, Guards! Guards!, Soul Music, Hogfather, Thief of Time, Night Watch, Monstrous Regiment
Those are some of my favorites, but really, they’re almost all my favorites.
SJ, I vote for either Good Omens or Monstrous Regiment for your first. Night Watch and Weird Sisters (title varies depending on source and I don’t remember which it may actually be) are also good choices. Well, they all are, but those are personal recommendations. The Truth is pretty good, too.
*is shocked, shocked that SJ has not yet read Pratchett*
I haven’t read Pratchett either.
I like all these suggestions. It helps to point out that, while lots of characters pop up all over the books, some people distinguish the books by their main characters – for example, my libs has a Watch trilogy comprising “Guards, Guards”, “Men At Arms” and “Feet of Clay”, a Death trilogy comprising “Mort”, “Reaper Man” and “Soul Music” and a Witches’ trilogy comprising “Equal Rites”, “Wyrd Sisters” and “Witches Abroad”.
If you were starting out, though, I’d say that “Guards, Guards” is a really good introduction to the city Ankh-Morpork and some of the most important characters (Vimes, Carrot, Lord Vetinari, CMOT Dibbler) as well as highlighting some of the socio-political background of the series (Wizards v everyone else, the Guilds, the dwarves etc). But then I might be biased because I really really REALLY want an Errol.
*It _may_ help to point out. Sorry, slow edit fingers.
And Astro, it’s ok, you’re only ickle. There is still much time for your
indoctrinationedumacation.Well, Astro, what are you waiting for? Go!
(But I guess it’s not so bad, I wasn’t introduced to Pratchett until college.)
I was older than that, AR, but have managed to cope nicely.
I added Good Omens and The Color of Magic to the Amazon order I’ve had on hold until I reached the free shipping threshold. I’m looking forward to getting them.
Yes, Lola, but think how much better our lives would be if we’d started at Astro’s age.
(Said with all the earnestness of a missionary at your door trying to convince you to accept [deity].)
((Also, apparently I can’t spell any more, but at least I know how to use spellcheck!))
Well, despite Missed Connections, it does not seem to get South Asian gentlemen hugs from coffee-drinking women with designer accessories . . .
REM will never be quite so appropriate as the day some geeknerd perfects the tech so that the intertubes can give a user a hug.
It will be the end of the world as we know it, and we’ll all feel (or be felt [up]) fine . . .
I used to belong to a sci-fi book of the month club, and forgot to send in the card saying No Thank You, so we got a copy of the Fifth Elephant without knowing what we were in for. We now have all the books. And have gone to book signings three times now with Terry. Good times, good time.
While there are some of the books that focus on Death in particular, he is the only character that actually appears in every one of the books. In all caps, naturally.
Uncle Google thinks they mean “osmolarity,” which is some fancy science thingy that I don’t understand, because I was an English major. But it appears to have teeth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osmolarity
Thanks, LRC…it’s sooooooo much clearer now.
The lice were confused, also. But I have provided some additional options, below.
That link reminded me of the time I got kicked out of Chem during our titration module for giggling every time the teacher said ‘millimoles’. It’s just such a fantastic word!!!
Wow … that was a lot of fancy words. I understood almost none of them.
Ah, fuzzy memories of a chemically-addled TA teaching the titrate lab and having some sort syllabic issue with “titration” rendering it rather badly as if a portion of tufted birds (presuming that rashers of sweater pillows could not possibly have been meant). Said gradual student went on to an unremarkable career in food service.
home style hosmlelelity = using your home garden hose to levitate.
home style hosmlelelity = the act of pretending someone is fancy (Oo, la, la) by comparing them to Hos from Bonanza.
home style hosmlelelity = when you are from the South and your barn is too close to the house, making the house smell like horse, both of which you pronounce hos.
home style hosmlelelity = of or relating to the molecular structure of women’s hosery that is not intended for use out side the home.
Oh yeah…now I’m totally understanding…
:adjusts tin foil hat:
Totally.
Ah, the famed Fourier mirror has finally turned up once again. Said to be forged by Wulfstan the Cantor himself, it’s been passed down through the musical generations as a talisman for achieving great musical success. Simply place it in front of your music group, and it shows you precisely the ways in which your tunings and chord structures can be adjusted to achieve the Ultimate Sound. But beware – its use can come with a great cost, as it’s said to be like looking into the Face of God herself.
The mirror is said to be indirectly responsible for Beethoven’s deafness, as he simply could not stop singing and playing into it upon its acquisition. I’m told on good authority that Percy Grainger was a mild-mannered, if forgettable, secular humanist who embraced all races and creeds until his fateful acquisition of the mirror. Syd Barrett’s family to this day will tell you that it was singlehandedly responsible for his insanity – and thus, albeit indirectly, Pink Floyd’s meteoric rise. Lindsey Buckingham picked it up, desperate for another hit after Albatross, and it was subsequently lost in one of the many coupling-related relocations. It’s said that it was the only thing that could keep Steve Miller on pitch, that Run DMC gave it to Aerosmith in the mid-1980s, and I had always presumed it was somehow responsible for Justin Bieber, and more recently, Charlie Sheen’s dark descent.
Nice blast through the musical past.
I contend that it was also responsible for catapulting Rod Stewart from his Maggie Mae phase to his current lounge lizard status, for keeping Ozzy Osbourne shakily vertical all these decades and Keith Richards from succumbing to bang-bang Maxwell’s silver hammer. Britney Spears is obviously still hanging out on the other side with that white rabbit.
*tilts head one way, then the next. Squints at the picture.* So God looks like a couple of dude’s legs and an oven mitt. I knew it!
And apparently lives in Sparky’s garage like a deadbeat uncle who came for the holidays and never left.
Hm, I’d been wondering what Dave Gahan had been up to lately. This explains much.
I’m God herself?
**flexes pinky, farts.**
That was supposed to make Nunavut go away.
**scratches belly, winks at Sj and IF**
Guess it didn’t work.
I’ll be right back, I just gotta go wash everything I own.
I don’t think there’s enough bleach in the world, sj.
:gets out gasoline and box of matches:
Good call.
**giggles**
Winkey like big boom.
So the “Fourier” is the part of the house right inside the front door where you greet guests and hang coats?
That’s the place.
I thought that was where you put the bird cages and the special bird seeds. And the nest boxes.
In my house it’s where the ironing boards live.
(There are eight antique wooden ironing boards leaning against the wall behind my front door, as well as various bits of lumber. Mom has a thing for ironing boards and old stuff in general.)
OHHHHHH. I finally get it. Thanks, Jane!
I thought it was where you greet coats and hang guests?
Naw, I did that last week and the newspapers referred to it as a ‘furore’. But then they have Sparktastic copy-editors, so who knows?
Sum in Loto Aureo.
[OT] Taco, call MotherTaco. Message delivered! [/OT]
This is awesome. I need to get some of my family members on here.
I need to keep mine off at all costs.
That’s how I feel about pants.
Jen – unexpected conversational left turn FTW!
Ok, Jen, seeing as how you nearly caused my demise by choking, please tell me you meant as in trousers, rather than the UK sense of pants . . .
Party at Jen’s house!
Or do you mean panty at Jen’s House?
And in the list of worst things to discover at 10PM the night before Toga day:
I went to practice putting on my toga, which is a bedsheet. The box it came in clearly marked it as “flat”. I pull it out, and much to my surprise, it is a fitted sheet.
FML.
Cut the elastic off? And cut the fitted seams?
That sucks. Good luck getting things managed.
Solution from an old hand at cena Romana – cut the elastic off as neatly as you can, then cut along the seams which make the fitted corners. If you have spare material, sew jaunty corner patches to recover the classic rectangular toga shape, but otherwise the ends are all drapey so no-one’ll really notice. I know of girls who’ve gone to toga parties dressed in pillowcases, so you’ll be golden.
ETA: Beaten to the punch by Lola! Too much vino and dolmades, not enough typey typey.
There is never enough typey typey–where is that nerd with the intertube hug tech?
Well, my dad went out and got a flat sheet for me, ’cause he’s the best.
Of course, now I’m discovering this morning that my tunica interior is far too short…
I need a secretary, stat! I forgot to announce MandaB’s birthday TODAY! In fact, in her time zone, it may be over. 8( Oh well, I’m only human. Mostly.
Astro, I hope all this time in the box doesn’t hurt your development. Punchity punch punch!
G’Night, Ankh-Morpork!
More pork? Where!?