YSaC, Vol. 937: Ceci n’est pas une bike.
2008 HONDA RUCKS 50CC – $1500
HI IM SALLING A NICE HONDA RUNNING GOOD, THIS SCOTER ITS IN DECENT CONDITION ONLY 4500K AND YOU WILL SAVE A LOT OF GAS RIDING THIS NICE BIKE A PUT THIS PICTURES BUT ITS NOT THI ACTUAL PICTUR BUT LOOKS LIKE THIS ONE
Now, listen carefully. This picture has been a put. It’s not the actual picture of the motorcycle. But there is an actual picture. And the actual picture looks like this one. The actual picture may or may not look like the motorcycle, but it looks like this picture. We have no idea what the motorcycle looks like, but we know it’s running good, and the picture looks like the other picture. Unless the picture looks like the bike. Not this picture, you understand, the actual one. But that would be silly – it’s NOT a bike… it’s a picture. Or, wait, maybe it IS a bike, just not the actual bike. You know, one that looks like it. I wonder what it’s a picture of? It might be a picture of a bike. A nice bike. One that even looks like the picture. Just not THIS picture.
My brain hurts.
This all has something to do with the allegory of the cave, doesn’t it? I always wondered about that cave. I mean, didn’t Batman get annoyed with all those people wandering around with objects making shadows on the walls?
Thanks for the post, Mackenzie!
Sparky is salling a put picture of his scoter?
I’m certain I don’t want to see that. Not now, not ever.
A scoter is what Scottish men wear under their kilts. I’m all for seeing that! 8)
Particularly if the Scottish man in question is Ewen McGregor, Alan Cumming, David Tennant, or similar.
Actually, dear lass’, ’tis the wise Scot hae wear broghans unn’r haen kilt, else ‘oles bae warnt ane haen hose. (Ane t’wise Scot ken’at sandals ane hose lookit daft.)
My husband agress with you about the sandals and socks, but I don’t care. My tootsies get cold!
In my mind, the Scots wear (or not) whatever I want them to.
Everyone needs a scoter.
The wind in your hair, the bugs in your teeth… what could be cooler?
Wait. Why is that old lady with the walker going faster than me?
That thing has 4500k on it? How far was Sparky’s daily commute, across the continent?
Yes, but the savings in gas was enough to buy a trip on the next shuttle launch!
They what? No more shuttle launches???
I’ll be in my cave, sobbing.
*puts pinky to corner of mouth*
Only four and a half meeeelion miles on it…
And you will save a lot (not alot) of gas riding this nice bike-a-put….
Don’t you mean “1 billion, gagillion, fafillion, shabolubalu million illion yillion…miles,” Dr. Evil?
Hmm, 4500*1000 / 25,000 = 180
Almost 200 hundred trips around Earth’s equator.
On a scooter.
Sparky is really Pither? And was very lost on his biking tour of North Cornwall?
Not to say you’re wrong, Capn, but… isn’t the right side of Texas usually taller than the left side?
It had some corrective surgery done.
what’s an ook?
Ruck you too.
You ruck at Craigslist. (Not you, Hammy.)
Ruck and Rule is here to stay.
Ruck, ruck, goose!
Rotsa ruck!
Ruck be a rady tonight
Ruck a duck…no geese.
Ar Shalpton is on rine one.
Alan Ruck is on line two, saying “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”*
*Yes, I was in junior high once.
A rucking stone gathers no moss.
Huh?
I have had it with all these mother-rucking snakes on this mother-rucking plane!
Ruck-an-Roll will never die?
Poor Neil, not die, so much as be marketed into non-recognition.
Not. A. Scoter.
“Scoters are stocky seaducks in the genus Melanitta” – Wikipedia
Stocky Seaducks is the name of IF’s A Flock of Seagulls tribute band.
Wait, I though “stocky seaducks” is how one pronounced a tide-water mollusk with a name spelt “throat-warbler-mangrove”?
No, no, no, it’s spelled “stocky seaducks”, but it’s pronounced “throat warbler mangrove.”
It’s not even a proper nose.
🙂
Here is a happy face but it is not my happy face, this is just a digital representation of a happy face but mine looks just like it.
You must be rich! The royalties from T-shirts alone must be enormous…
“Have a nice day.”
I’ve never told anyone that, they just put words in my face-hole.
La la la la la laaaaa… sarajean has a face-hole….!
😉
I have several.
:points:
I keep my eyeballs in these holes and food goes in this one down here.
You only confuse those two once.
“You only confuse those two once.”
Apparently, for some Sparkies, that’s not true. Wasn’t there some fad a while back for putting alcohol in one’s eye socket?
I thought that was soaking a tampon in vodka and by-passing that whole “your breath smells like alcohol” thing.
I missed that one, Mudsy. Umm…
Though, isn’t the point of vodka (or at least, what made it popular outside of Russia) that it doesn’t leave a smell on one’s breath?
Mudsy, my brain went to that story (urban legend or real?), but I made my hands refrain. Thanks for bringing it up anyway!
Ugh.
Didn’t work, my breath still smelled like alcohol….
What?
You could be right since I’m not a Vodka freak. All I know is that in Soviet Russia, vodka tampon soaks YOU!
@Hammy: I truly, truly truly believe you did that correctly. Try it again. 😉
Maybe I’ll try Gewürztraminer this time…
If that doesn’t work, perhaps some Grey Güs.
Perhaps Moet et Chandon?
Only if that translates to: Moat Water
No, but she keeps in in her pretty cabinet…
I bet that’s what she tells all the boys….
Guaranteed to blow your mind.
Only if they let you eat cake….some big, spongy French cake! Marie Antoinette said so.
If you’re that way inclined.
It’s only because I’m a killer queen.
😉
Which is only a problem if the revolting pheasants decide to become queen killers.
Such things are all to often easily started and never so easily stopped.
The ones that don’t bathe or preen? Or the ones that sit around the bush all day telling crass jokes?
I prefer revolving pheasants, especially rotisserie-style with plenty of sauce.
I prefer redoubling pleasants.
Dunno why, but it sounds fun.
He mentions pictures, not picture. I want to see the rest of the pictures he has that may or may not be the bike (or st0cky sea duck) in question.
I’ve dealt with this Sal Ling before. She puts pictures on CL, but then tries to get you to buy something that looks like something in the pictures. Not this picture, of course.
I should hope not. That picture isn’t worth $1500. I’m pretty sure I can get it for free on the internet. I should check Craigslist! I bet someone has one on there.
Ooo, if they are free, would you pick one up for me, too?
And some obos for later!
Yes, definitely some obos, but only if they are firm.
Don’t squeeze the obos too hard; no one likes a bruised obo.
Today the part of Mr. Whipple will be played by SJ.
Obos don’t stay firm very long, so I’m not sure saving them for later is a good idea.
Especially since one is encouraged to seek medical attention if they stay firm for more than four hours.
Or at least post a video on YouTube.
Please tell me this came from the South. I can’t help reading it in a deep Southern accent, with “I” sounding like “a,” etc.
Whatevah do hue mean? I doan tawk funneee!
Aren’t you a little further west than that, CJ?
Yes, Ahm a Texsun…an we doan tawk funnee…
Seriously, there’s “Southern” and “Texas” accents. Woe unto the one what confuses the two. 😉
Woe be unto the poor soul who confuses a Texan with anyone else.
*hugs* CJ! I can say that coz I have a few Texans in mah fambly tree.
Shoot, there are variations on accent within Texas.
Interrogative verb of location–
east, “wire?”;
west, “war?”;
north “wahr?”;
south “¿donde?”
I think I’ve heard it said, you only confuse the two once. 8)
*snort-snergle-choke* BWahahaha!
I thought that was Pluto, not Batman, that liked to make shadow puppets on the walls; however, I don’t remember ever hearing that he was allergic to caves.
Or was that Playdoh?
No, it was Aristotle.
Onassis?
OT – a little laugh for your Friday….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aAtFrWft2k&feature=player_embedded
Alan,Alan, Alan, Ruck
I know, right? That one had me laughing to tears.
[OT but apropos]: I just read a college student’s blog on Facebook…”It finely snowed” with a lovely picture of the Oregon State University campus blanketed in snow. Obviously, her education is less than complete at this point. A couple elebenty years (or the Llamanun BBUH as her English professor) should do the trick.
*sigh*
Hehe… snowed like finally powdered sugar, eh?
It totally should have read “It snowed finely, in soft waves of flurries. The flakes were of a delicate sort, wafting around in playful bursts as they were carried on the winds of Father Winter.” Psssfffftt. Amateur college blogger.
*imagines sitting in front of a roaring fire sipping an excellent old vine zin whilst staring out a large picture window at Sister Taco’s snow scene*
Better than being at work.
Just as long as it wasn’t your college student… You know, the one you are paying the tuition for…
Thankfully, BD, it was not one of the Eyebrow children. Tuition well spent.
Bleargh. Been sick since last night. Not sure what it is, but it isn’t pleasant, so snark may be a little anemic. But trying to read through the incomprehensible shouting I tried to define some of the terms here.
Salling (adv.) – The act of moving with minimal mechanical assistance
4500K – Likely the running temperature of the engine during normal operation, equivalent to 4,226°C/7,640°F, or roughly 1/3rd cooler than the sun.
Scoter (n.) A breed of sea duck. (Previously mentioned.)
Ruck (n., Middle English) 1. A heap or pile. 2. A type of sack.
You have a rare but serious condition called snarkolepsy.
The most common symptoms of snarkolepsy are:
Verbal diarrhea.
Believing small rodents have supernatural powers.
Spending inordinate amounts of time in a box.
Excess dentition.
Treatment:
No known cure, however symptoms can be controlled by speaking backwards for a week and closing your eyes while typing.
Please donate to the Benefit Unit for Little Latvians, Snarkolepsy Help Institute and Trust. Remember the Snark you save may be PECIL!
Closing my eyes while typing? POkayt, let’s see how well this works. No corrections, no lookinbg (although I don’t look when I type anyway), no nothing. Will I be successful? Will anything I type be intelligible? Will I be mistaken for a Sparky? Find out after these messages!
—
Hey, not bad. Just some fat fingering. (preemptive That’s What She Said/In Bed)
Speaking backwards might be a little more difficult, especially when people start thinking my life is being scripted by David Lynch.
Now try it with mugs.
Not those eyes…
I see what you did there. Even if it took a couple of hours to register.
Still drawing a blank here. I keep thinking Blade Runner, but the Googles do nothing.
Mindfield, are you sure that you and the Capn didn’t switch brainwaves for just a millisecond? I could have sworn that’s exactly something he would point out.
Hope you’re feeling better.
I’m just hoping it’s not febrile fanfic <worried grin>
**A small Web Gremlin wearing a Rule 34 t-shirt attempts to enter the snark lounge. The hypno-dogs successfully repel him.**
Good hypno-dogs. We don’t want CapnMac/Mindfield Slashfic.
Except only two of my points were factual. I was going to summarize with a rewrite of Sparky’s post, but the combination of unnecessary shouting and inability to come up with anything just this side of sensible enough to be funny in my weakened state put a stop to that.
Still feeling crappy, so it’ll probably be another early night for me. The chills have been subsiding and the urge to cough has lessened (mostly because I’ve coughed so much my head nearly explodes any time I do now) but my head is still swimming a bit, and I still have to pop 222s* to keep the head and body aches down.
* For you non-Canadians (which I think is everybody), 222s are OTC pain meds that combine ASA or acetaminophen with caffeine and a small amount of codeine, and I don’t think they’re available in the US, or at least not without a prescription.
You can’t get them OTC here, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know about them. 8)
Good to know; I’ve mentioned them on another forum and nobody seemed to know what I was talking about.
Craig’s salling a Rucks, with gas sipping motor
When Violet came by, with Lucy and Schroeder
Surprised were the three
When revealing was he
Not showing Rucks, but unkilting his scoter
And that’s what made Snoopy turn white!
It sounds painful..with a whole lot of unnecessary peeling.
Wait, 4500Km, that’s only 2700 miles.
Hey, CN$1500 is 1,543.64 USD–Sparquis is tryin’ to pull some sorta canahooverian fast one on us merikans!
It’s not often that mileage might be expressed better in scientific notation.
http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/hello_reddit.jpg
Cute Idea. 8)
I tried that but nothing happened…Maybe I chose the wrong song :-/
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bloodhoundgang/thebadtouch.html
The Ruck, in Haiku…
Selling one nice Ruck
Gas mileage cannot be beat
But this is not it.
:snaps fingers:
Righteous, SisterT.
Rucku too.
I’ve decided, I need a vehicle that runs on grass clippings and leaves. I can’t afford gasoline anymore, but I have a crap-ton of leaves and cut grass. Oh, and garbage.
So… where’s Doc Brown with my flux capacitor?
[film corey] You need a Mr. Fusion. That is what powered the flux capacitor after Doc Brown switched from nuclear power; it ran off garbage. [/film corey]
I’m a little sad that I knew that.
I believe you need an oscillation overthruster.
That’s what she … already had. I miss her…
Was her name Penny Pretty?
No, this one is still very much alive. Unfortunately she developed objectophilia, so … yeah. I’m not good at competition.
Don’t forget the jiggawatts!
I think 4500k refers to kilometres. Not far at all.
Nah, not that far at all. About the average distance from here to the moon. 12 times. You could make that in a Volvo.
*blinks at the sunlight* I what? I missed a punch? Uh. No, no, I just was planning to have a Daylight Punch. Yeah, that works. I mean, DGiovanni, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Morning, Gotham City!