Ever wonder where PETA got their dresses for their sexy “Let Vegetarianism Grow On You” campaign?
hi I have many female things like coats bras undies size 34b bras size 8 undies call or stop by for pick up,, ### ### #### cell work ### ### #### ask for larry in produce
Mystery solved. And they aren’t even paying for them!
Thanks, Nora!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
| WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition. […] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at… | |
| 2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all! […] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […] | |
 | bianchisound on YSaC, Vol CXCII In case anyone ever checks. I just saw this ad and missed everyone here. Enjoy! https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/pho/d/nellis-afb-womans-feet/7164431024.html |
 | Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1800: So long, and thanks for all the bees. Wow, it’s amazing to finally find this site. I’d say I’m late in getting here, but I know I’m right… |
| Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring. I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere… |
Size 8 panties and 34B bras?? Larry is a definite pear. A pear of what we may never know…check that, we may never want to know.
On the other hand, he does look lovely in his cabbage patch ensemble.
It’s worse than that, he wears a size 4 shoe, has a 15″ inseam and a tiny head. And here I thought I had trouble finding clothes in my size. Poor Larry.
He’s a pear? I thought Larry was a cucumber. “Lima beans, collared greens, peachy keen…..Veggie Tales!”
Just don’t call him a pickle or he’ll get angry… and you wouldn’t want to see Larry angry.
GHERKIN SMASH!
With that lack of punctuation, I wondered if he had a size 34b panty and I didn’t know what that could mean. No, no, no need to enlighten me. I’ll cling to my ignorance.
Not much on the melons, though.
I agree: rather undersized!
Maybe you should thump them to see if they’re ripe.
Hey, that corner has coffee slices!
:joins corner party:
Oww.
Give them a good squeeze too!
Any coffee slices left?
Would you like extra crunchy or orange-pineapple-banana espresso?
Why, yes I did accidentally put juice in the coffeemaker again. Why do you ask?
*Juggles the melons*
*Sets up a homestead in the corner*
Melonthumping is my Chumbawumba cover band, fronted by a crossdresser in a bee costume.
Instead of a bee girl, it’s a bee ladyboy?
No, it’s a Drag Queen.
See what I did there? Huh? Huh?
Lettuce entertain you.
Lettuce make you smile.
Lettuce do a few tricks
‘Cause Larry has some new tricks.
He’s very versatile
Mooom! Dave (and his wiley Mustela) are snarking really early and fast today! He won’t lettuce ketchup!
Taco, you had your chance yesterday while you were in the box with Dave plus Ferret.
Lettuce, turnip and pea………
Even if you do ketchup, you’ll never beet him – the lettuce has a head start.
Cumquat!
*Uses a shepard’s crook to drag Mudsy into the corner*
Coffee slice?
Bless you. *offers tissue*
No need for that kind of language here. I hadn’t even shown up yet.
No, but now you’re here – you’re in the box! Gonna get a Windy-punch later. Triumphant return!
Score!!
FEMALE ALL THE THINGS!
But does he have FEMALE TRAITS?
I’m guessing no – and that this is why he’s selling the clothes. I suspect that perhaps the posessor of the FEMALETRAITS may have left Larry in such haste that she didn’t mind leaving her wardrobe.
And since I read a lot of mysteries, of course I’m also thinking that Larry may be selling the clothes of … his victims, who are buried in the garden in which the produce is grown.
I’ve met Larry once. From a cursory glance, he appears to have FEMALETRAITS1 but not FEMALETRAITS2 or 3. Perhaps he’s peri-op?
This is a fabulous idea.
I had planned to start a garden this year, and I do need new clothes…I’m just not sure if I could stand smelling like salad dressing. Is it fattening if you wear it?
Word to the wise: Poison oak, while a prolific grower does NOT make good underpants.
*Scratch Scratch*
No, I’m not sure how I know that.
*Scratch Scratch*
I had a dream like this once.
When the caterpillars find you, things get weird fast.
Never mind the caterpillars. It’s the fire ants I’m worried about.
I’d think you’d be more concerned with the squash vine borers.
They’re invasive little devils.
I welcome our new ladybug overlords…..
Earth’s second-cutest invasion force, after the Sleepy Bunnies of Omicron Persei 7.5.
I think HHNF’s new bunny is their leader. Take us to your leader!
Fools! Did no one see Night of the Lepus? We’re all doomed. Doomed!
I don’t like hair in my food.
So… many… inappropriate… jokes…
I’ll chose this one:
That’s why it’s important to be clean shaven when you eat out.
I’ll be in the corner.
It’s not safe to eat anything anymore –
Oral sex is bigger cause of throat cancer than tobacco
[corey][/corey]
I b’lieve these are yours, sir.
Well, it’s technically safe as long as you only eat the same thing all the time…
But what fun is that?
[public service corey]Whilst we are on the subject of all things oral….any of you have daughters?
Listen up because this is very popular with the middle and high school crowds.
When/if you ever hear your child referring to a “Rainbow Party”, pay attention!
The “rainbow” is created on the male tab A by the females who wear differing lipstick shades and, ahem, take turns…thus creating the rainbow effect from…shall we say stem to stern? Yes, let’s.
If you already know about this, then you’re a step (or three) ahead of me…sigh…the things you learn when you have friends in the medical profession….
[/end public service corey]
[public service Snopes-esque corey]
Rainbow parties are an urban legend originated around a work of fiction intended as a cautionary tale on the dangers of oral sex.
[/public service Snopes-esque corey]
It’s not real?!
Damnit.
I mean…
Damnit.
Also:
Technically you can tell that rainbow parties are a work of fiction because, frankly, in a real attempt at this kind of party you would inevitably smear all the colors together. If you’re leaving perfectally parallel rings, you’re doing it wrong*.
*Research based conclusion**.
**If only.
Hey look, the corner now has shovels!
*Starts to dig*
A legend? LOL…and WHEW! I will pass this info along to the one what told me about it.
Wait…I looked at your linky-poo and while it is somewhat credible, so is the not-so-anecdotal evidence provided by my doctor friend.
I’m on the fence on this one.
I created an awesome new spelling of perfectly. I think we should all embrace “perfectally” as the new, better way.
That’s why it’s important to be clean shaven when you eat out.
Um….
Actually…
A little scruff is friction-y.
*blushes*
*joins you in the corner*
I wasn’t talking about my face.
Hey look, they have coffee slices in the corner now!
*brainsplosion*
That reminds me. I don’t think we’ve had a good old-fashioned Tacosplode in a while, have we?
Why not? Hair is vegetarian. It’s made from carrot-in.
Carrot-in *what* is the question.
Ancient Chinese secret.
Good thing I’m not an ancient Chinese, because I don’t think I want a carrot in my secret. They’re dirty and kinda pointy.
And orange. Heck, if their leaves were brown they’d be a casting call away from the next Jersey Shore episode.
You’re supposed to wash all produce throughly and I think you’re using the wrong end.
(Ha-ha, I’m already in the corner!)
*Hands a shovel to SJ*
Let’s dig a hole!
I’m gonna put in a root cellar!
Doesn’t everyone already have one of those?
Uh … say, this is a mighty nice corner.
Why do I have this terrifying feeling that “larry” is looking for an actual female to go along with his ‘things’? It’s like a creepazoid version of Field of Dreams – “If you hoard their undies, they will come…”
I’m pretty sure Larry is talking about “Europian sizes.”
That aside, he mentions having to go pick them up. I’m a little disturbed that he has them at his produce section. Is he wearing them all simultaneously and will have to strip down to give you any? All I can think of now is that episode of Friends where Joey puts on all of Chandler’s clothing and does lunges.
He must wear all the things??
Ahh, I miss the produce departments in the PNW. The fresh veggies, the hand made salad dressings, the impromptu strip teases…
Actually, come to think of it, my best friend in high school worked in the produce department*.
*This is actually true.
My brother-in-law-in-law works in the produce department, but his name is Kris.
*cough* Alias *cough*
I loved Alias! I dressed up as a Jennifer Garner-type spy for Halloween one year, bright pink wig and all.
Truth. I dropped not one, but two melons in the store here, and a strapping young male produce dude came to help me pick them up. I was holding them…well, in the way one holds melons.
If it’s in a Europian size, does it include beets along with the lettuce?
Remember, shop at Larry for all your lacy, feminine undergarments.
Heh heh heh.
Welcome back, punkin.
Well since he works in produce, he clearly uses the bras to carry around his melons.
I don’t know what he uses the panties for.
To store his carrot?
Curse you for making me think about the man-carrot.
Why, oh why, did I click that link? *plucks out eyes with a rusty melon baller, size 34b*
WOOHOO! There’s spell check on the comments!!!
You can’t make me click that!
En Garde!
Oh, geeze, not that thing again… Why does that have to do with man-carrots? Because she’s a forbidden vegetable?
Also: Touché! (Oh, sorry, is it bad taste to use one’s own child as an example of the epitome of cuteness? Well….. Too bad :-p)
Naw, Tron makes cute for breakfast and I use it towards achieving my nefarious goals*.
*Most of them seem to involve goldfish crackers.
I found that … “treasure” through TV Tropes when I was aimlessly clicking around one day. There’s apparently a drinking game for it where you take a drink for every error you spot or until you die of alcohol poisoning, which ever comes first.
Very very cute, EB. I’d say “wow”, but I think it’s already been said.
Wow, EB.
Just.
Wow.
Sounds as dangerous as the LOTR drinking game. You take a drink every time they do the “Frodo Holding the ring” shot. You die shortly after the midway point of the first movie.
Alternately you take a drink every time Legolas poses and looks pretty. You die shortly after the Mines of Moria.
There’s also the less known, but far more deadly Babylon 5 drinking game. You pop in Season 2 and take a drink every time you see Bruce Boxleitner smiling like a doof.
Bwahahaha!! I got used to Bruce by the 3rd season, though.
In all Honesty, I liked Bruce way better than I liked… uh… the other guy.
Mostly because he was Tron, but also because his character was more fun and less broody.
The other guy was fine in the first season, but every time they had him back to guest star later on, he paled beside Bruce.
If Bruce had put on the Tron suit and fought the battle of the Ancients with a data disc the show would have been 300% better. Continuity be damned.
I’m sure if you look hard enough you can find a mash-up video on youTube that shows that exact thing.
Sounds like drunken uncle google might have some stories to tell me!
The name is Larry Fondue and I’m something of a star
I have a knack for making clothing from the salad bar
Some carrots for a necklace or some broccoflower mitts
I can take a head of lettuce and place leaves upon your —
Tip me
Well and I might make an extra rutabaga shirt
With some pomegranate sequins (but be careful, though, they squirt)
You should see the kind of craftsmanship in every turnip sock
And ring of cored-out pineapple slipped snug around sir’s–
Cocktail
Veggie sticks accessorize your hollowed-melon hat
Not at all, madame, that kale chemise does not make you look fat
Does this finely woven dress of beans and carrots please madame?
Then this thong of shredded cabbage should conceal your bearded–
Clamshell
Packages of berries help me make my sweet pea pants
I can mold them for the lesser man to insert and enhance
When the ladies take one look at you, they won’t believe their luck
They might not want a relationship, but they’d sure like to–
Crap. I ran out of rhymes.
This is destined to become a school yard sing-along favorite.
Anyone else hear Benny Hill?
How long have you been hearing these voices?
Ever since-
wait.
What?
…
Yes, I’m typing as we speak.
…
Huh?
…
Don’t tell me what to do.
…
No, I think they’ll understand.
And stop calling me Shirley.
Ok, I’m back.
Ever since I arrived here.
Reminiscent of ‘Shaving Cream’ song? Yes.
In my head, it was playing more like a faster-paced vaudeville piece. I can’t think of anything specific, but the pacing and phrasing would, rather oddly, be similar to that old 70s/80s dairy PSA Time for Timer.
At least, that’s how it played out in my head.
Wait, is this not a parody of anything?
‘Cause if not, I totally wanna make some melody to go along with the words.
I think it’s all Mindfield.
It kinda reminds me of the hand clapping chants girls sometimes did when I was in school.
Well, the risqué style has been done before (the end of one stanza the listener is expecting to be a naughty word stumbles into the next stanza as a similar word) but otherwise I made it up. 🙂
Am I just undercaffeinated, or is that woman’s left arm looking a little … backward?
Maybe she should be on Photoshop Disasters.
I thought that, too. It’s odd looking.
Your comment has led me to pose as such in front of the mirror to see if it is physically possible to put one’s arm in that position. I report that, while possible, it is horribly uncomfortable and I do not suggest it. If you’re going to strike a pose, may I suggest this instead: http://photo.net/photodb/photo?photo_id=6336870
And of course I had to try it. It felt like my elbow was going to pop out of the socket and I managed to crack my wrist, which I didn’t even know you could do.
OMG…you are right! It’s a two-fer!
She doesn’t like to talk about it but her left arm is a prosthetic. Her real arm was bitten off when she tried to help PETA release lab animals. Those mice were vicious.
Lookit the bones!
After major othepedic surgery and days of intense therepy, I have now recovered from the pose.
I just love PETA photo-(sh)ops.
Am I right in thinking that she has a “belt” of garlic around her hips?
….Maybe she’s Team Jacob?
I think those are mushrooms. Which is kind of a turnoff, really; I don’t like seeing fungus south of the equator.
I’m pretty sure they’re mushrooms.
I know this only because I avoid mushrooms like they’re poison*.
*They totally are too!
EDIT: Damnit mindfield! Get outta mah brain!
Cotton is a plant. Maybe Larry is just spinning fresh new garments from the cotton in his produce department. Yeah, that’s it. These are fresh new garments. Never been
collectedused.Have yourself some 34b boobies,
Let your size be eight
From now on,
Your undies are in the produce aisle
Have yourself some 34b boobies,
May be Larry’s gay,
From now on,
His female things will be miles away.
Here he is as selling old used bras,
Quiet shirt time bras of yours.
Fearful victims of a burglary
Lost their panty drawer once more.
Through the years
Larry and Bubby will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang him high upon the highest gallows.
And have yourself some 34b boobies now.
Yoko saw one and John saw it too
A salad dress with cheese that is bleu
The Walrus, he jams
Although he likes clams
Sings that dress is so goo goo to chew
Side note 1: my face is filling up the recent comment bawks. Poor everyone.
Side note 2: I can’t imagine how I got Best Comment yesterday; I had poster’s remorse so badly I took up drinking, and there were so many good songs posted!
Just goes to show you haven’t lost your touch. 🙂
Don’t touch me, though, at least until you put down the shovel.
Also…how unprofessional is it to have strangers call your job to sell off your girlfriend’s/ex-wife’s/stalkee’s evidence/personal belongings?
You’ve obviously never worked in produce.
…and things are much worse in dairy…
And SpiceChrist help you if you ask a butcher to show you his finest meat.
Wow, this hole just keeps getting deeper and deeper.
Yeah, it’s important to note that asking for “two hams” is code.
When a uphamism’s told,
you must dig it!
When the carrot’s nice and long,
you must dig it!
When mindfield’s typing strong,
You must dig it!
Now dig it!
Go real deep!
Down the cave!
Quite steep!
Go Down!
Deeper yet!
The mantel now!
We go deeper down!
To dig it!
Dig it Deep!
:shakes head:
Even with a built-in spellchecker.
As I’ve said, most of my typos are due to laziness of proofreading. I’ve had a spellchecker built into my browser, but since I have to right click and select “spell check” to use it, laziness wins.
And it was ONLY 2 words. Thats’ dam neer prefect!
As long as Sparky isn’t trading food stamps for meth, management turns a blind eye.,
And boo, I missed your big comeback yesterday. Welcome back anyway!
Larry, Larry, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With bras and things funerary,
And maids planted all in a row.
On a lighter note, “Firefly” has been picked up by the Science Channel, and will air all the old episodes and the ones that didn’t make it to air. It will premiere March 6th. Almost makes me want to get cable.
Almost.
Not. I have the DVDs, why would I want to have commercials added?
Just buy the box set instead. That’s what I did.
EDIT: Jinxies, LRC!
Larry has many female things,
It’s his tiny hose, that only grows,
With frilly things,
Larry is nature’s way of saying,
A reason not to be living,
The princess crown that makes a man,
A queen,
Once on a high, a bender if you will,
In the morning he missed,
Two feet off he pissed,
And he wet the sill,
Then his nostrils touched a silent fart,
And thought wow the stink,
Yes, it’s true Larry has many female things..
It makes me giggle to insert my words in Humperdinck’s mouth.
Wait…what!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6G3L3jOSpU
It’s such an ignorant stereotype that meat-eaters can’t also love vegetables. I’d wear a meat dress OR a veggie dress – if I wore dresses… and wasn’t ethically opposed to wasting food.
And what of the ignorant stereotype that vegetarians are all militant peta members?
Oh I’ll wear a meat dress, but I’m not going to stop up my arteries with it.
I would just like to point out that I used to work with a guy named Larry, and we worked in produce together.
He was a creep.
A creep that was probably quite fluent in Craigslist.
Awesome. Now I can never shop at that grocery store again.
I wish I knew how to make sure my comments went with the right thread. Instead, I’ll have to inform all of you that the line just knocked on my door and asked for directions to the north pole. He never wanted to hear the words “eat out” again.
I MISSED A WHOLE DAY OF SNARK! And Larry Niven didn’t show up. And there’s no elevator so I am having to decide to climb one flight of stairs and hurt during the panel or anime, or stay with my honey in the dealer’s room. and push paper models. Sigh.
HHNF, Here’s trip down memory lane for you! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Hidden Valley Ranch!