YSaC, Vol. 931: The Kau Kau (na) Boogie
OLD BICYCLE
The only information I have on this bike is that it is on old winston, and it has liscense plates from kaukauna 87 The only thing wrong with it is that when you peddle it doesnt go anywhere.
Huh. You know, I didn’t even realize bicycles had license plates. I had to think about it, but then I remembered – sure, you could get toy license plates for bicycles when I was a kid. They generally had your name or something like that on them. (Although heaven help you if you didn’t have a common name like “Bort.”) A little Googling reveals that Kaukauna is a town not in Hawaii, as you’d expect, but actually Wisconsin. I’ve always had a lot of trouble spelling….
***BAR-OOO??***
Wait – doesn’t GO anywhere? Is there anything ELSE a bicycle is actually supposed to do?
Thanks for the link, Kathleen!
Oh, is that all? I was worried that it would be serious. At least Sparky didn’t begin the ad with “Imagine the potential of this fixer-upper ….”
Mindfield!! Winston’s trapped!!
Wait, isn’t “Winston” the name of one of your hamsters in the epics you write?
If yes, I’ll congratulate my
failingmemory…if not…then…never mind.You know, that’s the first thing I thought of when I read that sentence. They dropped the bike on Winston? Those bastards! They will pay for this…
Hell hath no fury like a trapped hamster, right?
Damned bicycling bastids…I feel sorry for them….almost.
I thought Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.
Hell hath no fury like a woman trapped by GrahamT.
*duct tape*
[YSAC meme] Get a room! [/meme]
Imagine if some Sparky had that as a username. Laaaame.
Hell hath no fury, but Wal-Mart still has some in stock.
*does stupid middle-aged person butt-in-orbit dance*
Hi, HHNF!!!! Stay a spell.
Wow, she’s like Voldemort. You say her name and she appears…
Spells? He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Bicycles that, when peddled, go nowhere? Did I take a wrong turn at The Leaky Cauldron?
*squeaks*
It’s HHNF!
It’s HHNF!
I can say “hi” to her, and it’ll be in the present day, and she’ll respond!
Hi, HHNF!
Oh, and I dunno ’bout the Leaky Cauldron, but the Leaky Pecil’s over in the corner.
Hey, Astrognash! I’ve missed you guys muchly! I’m so happy you still talk about me while I’m not here, and not in that ‘talking about her while she’s not here’ kind of talking.
Today, anyways 😉
Hooray! YSAC hath fury! Hi, HHNF!
:waves :
Hi HHNF!
HHNF was here, and I missed her 🙁 Hope all is going well for my up-the-coast neighbor. Come around and visit more often.
I had a car like this once. When you hit the gas it didn’t go anywhere.
Wholly crap!
Calling all hipsters!
It’s the ultimate in ironic transportation, the double fixie. That’s right – both wheels are completely immobilized.
If I have to explain to you why you need to borrow money from your friends to buy this, then you just don’t get it.
Sarajean, you are my girl crush today.
She’s my girl crush every day.
:blushes:
Perhaps Sparky was speaking metaphorically. Like, you can pedal this thing all over hell’s half acre if you like, but is it really getting you anywhere? No, friend. You may start out thinking you’re making progress, but then you just end up riding in endless circles, expending vast amounts of energy only to keep doing the same thing over and over. Kind of like Hollywood.
But even if he was speaking literally, the bike still technically works. It’s just temporarily a scooter.
My bicycle’s the fastest
that the world has ever seen;
it has supersonic engines
and a flame-retardant sheen.
My bicycle will travel
a gazillion miles an hour —
it has rockets on the handlebars
for supplemental power.
The pedals both jet-propelled
to help you pedal faster,
and the shifter is equipped
with an electric turbo-blaster.
The fender has a parachute
in case you need to brake.
Yes, my bike is undeniably
the fastest one they make.
My bicycle’s incredible!
I love the way it feeds my brain,
and I’ll like it even more
when Dad installs the chain.
That was my thought: you’re not going to get far if the chain is missing or not properly working … duh.
All this bicycle needs is a nice curio cabinet to put it into.
Sorry…edit feature not working…
This is quite clearly Albert Hoffmann’s old bicycle, and therefore does not need to go anywhere – you will do all the travelling. Strange thing is, I always thought Hoffmann was Swiss, not from Wisconsin, but that’s what LSD can do to you.
Please note Sparky is being completely honest when eh says the bike cannot be “peddled” – no matter how many times he tries to sell it, it remains in the shed (probably just as well, since the kick-stand appears to be the only thing propping up that wall…)
I think I have a solution to Sparky’s peddling problem: all bicycle people know that if you want to sell a bike on Craigslist, it must be vintage…er, antique or classic. Classic bikes are believed to sell quickly for a high price, for obvious reasons (obvious to the sellers anyway). Sparky forgot to tell us directly that this is a vintage bike.
Doesn’t go anywhere? So… it’s an exercise bike?
It’s an exercise-in-futility bike.
SCHWINN!
A Schwinn and a miss*
*Miss SJ.
Misjay?
sshh
Don’t tell anyone.
AeliusAstrus “Saram misjay est!” clamat.Don’t try to put that in Google Translate. It’ll just babble at you about stars.
He/she didn’t say it doesn’t move; he/she said when you “peddle” it, i.e. try to sell it, it doesn’t go anywhere. So this ad was an exercise in futility, or in existential un-meaning.
Oh the huge manatee!!
Who knew Sparkies could be so philosophical?
At first, I thought Sparky had just confused the words “pedal” and “peddle.” But now I see that he is using the correct word. Sparky has been trying and trying to peddle this bike on Craigslist, but it doesn’t go anywhere – it’s an unsellable bike.
Camille — Jinx!
Double jinx!
Yeah, you beat me to it by seconds!
Sorry folks, not much snark in me this week or last. And probably not next. Been having a string of soul crushing days for a while now and it’s starting to get on top of me.
I’ll try to form some funny further down the line.
Anyone else getting a black screen when they try to edit a comment?
yep
Yep.
Yep.
Black box here, too. Odd. Looks like it’s trying to lightbox the page as it usually does, but darker, and the edit window never comes up.
It’s … it’s rather like this bicycle. I keep clicking edit, but I never get anywhere.
Huh. Let me see if I can duplicate that.
Edited to add: No. No, I can’t.
Edited again to add: if it’s still happening, it would be helpful if you can send a screenshot or something to me at yousuckatcraigslist@gmail.com so I can see what y’all are talking about.
It happens to me too, but it works if I open the edit window in a new tab.
(((HUGS)))
Oh honey! Well, you know we’re here for ya…and soul-crushing is, I believe, a prerequisite for excellent snarkage. I expect, when you can breathe again, that you’ll wow us all. 🙂
Exactly what CJ said! We need our little tacomagicsexyfingers to take care of issues at hand and come back and visit us soon.
How dare life crush your soul? Doesn’t it know that you lighten ours?
Hang in there Taco. HUGS!!!!
Call on the superskills of Nunja TacoSister if you need to clear a snarkway. Until then, we’ll be hoping for the best for you.
That wouldn’t be an old winston would it?
A match made on CL (and not from the personals section): we need to get this guy together with the the one from [whenever, a while ago] who fixeess de bikessessss.
And now, Bastardpiece Theater presents the fifth installment of the adventures of Pickles and Winston: The Genie Pigs.
They couldn’t have timed it better if they tried. It was just dumb luck that, as Pickles and Winston scampered through the security guard’s legs in a half-blind panic, the automatic doors slid open for an incoming human, which allowed them to make good their escape from the giant indoor city.
“Right!” Pickles called to Winston who was keeping up for a change. “Down this way!”
“Right!” Winston acknowledged, hot on Pickles’ tail.
They kept as close to the wall on their right as they could, for they were far less likely to find themselves underfoot. However, some humans — mostly bedraggled, scruffy, and rather malodorous ones — also seemed to have a penchant for sitting on the ground with their backs to the wall. They must have passed at least half a dozen of them on a short stretch. Most of them left enough of a gap between the wall and their butt that the duo could scoot through the makeshift tunnel that was created. A couple, though, hunched over themselves, elbows on knees, were seated flush, leaving no room for them to run behind. They had no choice but to go around, and being in the positions they were, the humans had a perfect view of the pair as they dashed past. Fortunately, they also seemed to be not entirely there. At worst, one of them muttered, “Whoa … d’joo see that?” to nobody in particular, and then returned to contemplating their hands.
“In here!” Pickles called back as he rounded a corner into a narrow alleyway.
The two continued down the alley, skirting around miscellaneous discarded tin cans, broken bottles, sodden cardboard boxes, newspaper pages, random bits of wood, more disheveled, reeking, spaced-out humans, and one rather startled field mouse who rapidly disappeared up a filthy pant leg. The human said pants were attached to either didn’t notice or didn’t mind.
“Hey, over there, behind that duct!” Pickles called back, spying an air duct jutting out from the wall that appeared unoccupied and good for cover. “Hey, Winston, over–”
There came a crashing noise from behind, followed by a brief yelp. Pickles stopped and turned around. “Winston?” Pickles called.
“Heeeeelp!” Winston called back. He was almost halfway back down the alley, having evidently flagged behind as soon as they left the main street. And now, somehow, he appeared to be trapped underneath a bicycle that had inexplicably fallen on him. “Heeeelp! Pickles!”
Pickles scampered back, still watchful for the guard — or anyone else — who might still be chasing them. “Winston, what happened? Are you okay?”
“I can’t get out!” Pickles whined. “I don’t know what happened. I was trying to look behind me to see if that guard was still behind us and I bumped into this–” Winston gestured randomly around him. “–this thing. It fell on me.”
Winston was pinned underneath one of the rear wheel’s spokes, seemingly just enough to keep him from wriggling out or gaining leverage, but not enough to do any real damage, so there was that, at least. Still, there was the matter of getting him out, and although no one had turned up yet, there remained the possibility that they were still being chased
“Alright, just hold on, let’s try and get you out of there.” The first thing Pickles tried was simply to lift it straight off him. Predictably, this was a stupid idea. He then crawled under a portion of the tire that was further off the ground than where Winston was trapped and try to lift it with his back. As the tire was flat, this accomplished even less as the rubber simply flexed with ease. He scooted a little further in and braced his back against the rim before attempting to lift again. This, too, was dumb, for now he hurt his back.
“Okay,” Pickles panted as he scooted back out, massaging the small of his back with a paw. ‘What we need here is leverage.”
“Oh,” Winston said. “You mean like that time we caught that gerbil, Van, stealing food pellets from that oversized rat and we threatened to tell on him unless he shared?”
Pickles sighed and rolled his eyes. “Not that kind of leverage, you idiot. I need something long to put under the wheel so I can pry it up.”
“Oh, alright, then.” Winston said.
Pickles looked around and immediately spied a decently-sized stick. That would do nicely! He dragged it back to the bicycle. Now he needed something for the fulcrum. He rummaged around underneath bits of cardboard and picked at small trash piles that had accumulated in the alley. Pickles realized that humans didn’t appear to regard things they couldn’t see as a concern; out on the main streets, in the sunlight, where people frequently roamed, everything seemed to be relatively tidy and cared for. But here, in a dank alley, where the sun rarely touched and the only people who trod here wanted to be here, everything was filthy and trash was everywhere. If it didn’t generally offend people for being in the way, it wasn’t worth paying any attention to. It certainly helped explain a lot about the human condition.
At length, Pickles found precisely what he needed: A small, triangular bit of hollow metal. He had no idea what it was for, but it didn’t matter. It was heavy, but he managed to drag it back to the bicycle, where he placed it parallel to the wheel. Pickles took the stick and placed it under the wheel at one end and over the fulcrum so the other end jutted upwards.
“Okay,” Pickles said. “I’m going to climb up to the other end of that stick there,” Pickles pointed, and looked back at Winston to make sure he understood. “When I do, my weight should lever the stick so that this end here under the wheel will lift it up. When it does, you need to try as hard as you can to get out, okay?”
“Okay,” Winston nodded.
“Okay. Let’s do this.” Pickles grabbed the far end of the stick and climbed further toward the end, hand over hand. The further out he got, the bouncier the stick became as his weight gained more leverage on the bike. He finally got to the tip, but it wasn’t quite enough. He could feel the bike on the verge of lifting, but it wasn’t quite there, so Pickles started kicking his feet. The extra force started the rear wheel rising and falling. Winston, seeing his chance, started trying to crawl out with each bounce. Headway was slow, but after a few dozen bounces, he finally managed to scamper out from under the wheel.
“Yes!” Winston exclaimed triumphantly as he brushed out his fur. “Free at last!”
Pickles dropped to the ground and went over to Winston. “Everything okay?” he asked.
“Seems to be,” Winston replied. “Nothing broken. I think I have a lump on my head, and my nose feels bruised.”
“Alright then. As long as you can walk, we still need to get out of here.”
“Quite so,” Winston agreed. “Where to now?”
“We should probably keep going the way we were. I don’t know if that guard is still following us, and I don’t want to stick around to find out.”
“Good idea.”
With that, the two wandered out to the street. By Pickles’ estimation, they were on the opposite corner of the block where they’d turned when they left the pet shop, so if they went left, they should still be headed more or less away from there. “And try to keep up this time,” Pickles admonished.
Oh, freaky-puppy…I love the adventures of Winston and Pickles! And, your sneaky li’l segue into the condition of man is brilliant.
Just think, when this is published you’ll be able to thank the chronically stupid of the world for being your inspiration.
That seems to be a theme in many of my characters, observing people and nature and the universe and things. Probably because it’s something I like doing a lot, even though the observations sometimes make me weep for humanity.
But yes, the Sparkies of the world are indeed an endless source of inspiration. Seeing the things they do, particularly here, constantly makes me ask “What the hell? Why?!” So I try and invent an answer. 🙂
Sparky, Sparky,
I see your bike won’t move!
You’re half crazy,
It’s blue and rusty too!
It is a pile of rubbish,
If I could make just one wish
That you would take off the seat
And instead let it screw you.
Try pedaling the other direction.
You’re welcome.
I dunno, Bianchi, that could be a hard on for Sparky to comprehend.
They tried to pedal the other direction, but it was hard to steer with their butt cheeks. The upside was that they left nice facial impressions on the cars following them.
I lived in a strange neighborhood once–okay, more than once. One of the odd people in this neighborhood used a bike like a walker. He stood over the bike and pushed it while he walked. He never rode the bike. I wouldn’t think a bicycle is the most stable support for a person who might need a walker but what do I know, I am happy to sit on a bicycle. Maybe this bike belonged to him and that’s why it doesn’t go anywhere when you peddle it. It is walker disguised as a bike.
In Soviet Russia, bike walks you!
(In honor of Taco, who would have posted that if his soul wasn’t crushed)
We have some homeless people near where I work that do the same thing.
I’ve sat here and stared at this screen for what seems like forever without being able to come up with a single snarky comment. I blame the fact that the moment I saw the picture, the song ‘Bicycle’ starting blasting through my brain and now I can’t think of anything else. Damn you, Queen!
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to…
Aw, F-It. I want to ride it AND have it go somewhere. Is that too much to ask?
Concur.
Dang crap nuggets, I was going to come up with a snarkariffic parody of Bicycle Race… I guess I’ll have to see if anyone else has actually DONE it yet :-p
All this talk abou peddling makes me miss Grampdaddy and his red nightie.
Grampdaddy sold lingerie?
All over town, apparently.
I think I know him. His name is Oliver, right? Oliver Clothesoff.
Good thing Manda’s not here today. I don’t think she needs that image :-p
I’m missing something here. I don’t see a price for the zen bicycle. Yet it doesn’t say free. It wasn’t in the free stuff. But what’s the asking price? $60 or two for $500? How many obos? Firm, or otherwise? I NEED ANSWERS! Oh, look, time to take my meds.
And that would be the other reason why this bike can’t be peddled.
“I can’t sell it to you. It doesn’t have a price.”
“Then why did you list on Craigslist?”
“I like making lists. It establishes existence.”
Okay, so Sparky didn’t want to be listless. I can relate. 8)
Well, one doesn’t go anywhere when one is listless, and as this bike represents listlessness he wants to be rid of it and the listlessness it represents so that he may be productive. Or as productive as a Sparky can be.
Wow, did I ever screw that one up. And editing still throws me into an infinite black hole. Oh well, call it a tribute to Taco during his time of soul-crushingness.
Is the YSaC toolbar at the top new? I don’t know that I’ve noticed it before. Wonder if it has to do with the grayscale in the edit function.
We have a new toolbar? I don’t have a new toolbar. I want the new toolbar!
LRC…you remind me of every puppy we’ve ever owned.
“Shot? I want a shot!”
“Oooh…neutering? Sounds like fun! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!”
“Toolbar? What’s a toolbar? Ooooh I want one! What is it?”
Whereas the cats…
“Meh……”
CJ: Cocker spaniels, golden retrievers, or Irish setters, any of them? Just wondering.
Lola – mutts, so yeah anything’s possible. My fav was a Husky mix…I loved that dog but he was just so damned enthusiastic about everything. Probably why I did love him so. Oh well, his optimism served him well as he lived to be 18. His mama, whom we had since she was dumped on our doorstep as a pup, lived to be 16. She was a collie/GSD/whozeewhatsit, and a pensive critter. Generally happy she was, nonetheless, the brains of the outfit never doing anything without purpose. She liked me okay, but she positively worshipped my husband.
I hate to be left out of fun things on teh interwebz.
I upgraded to the latest version of WordPress yesterday. You need to be logged into the site with your username and password to see the toolbar. It’s not that exciting, though … it doesn’t even let you rule the world.
It’s showing up at the top of my firefox and I’ve never noticed it before. I don’t think I did anything to install it either.
They have a shot for that…
I should have figured you would be the one-in-the-know if there were any shots made available. 🙂
It’s my job to know these things, now bend over and take your medicine!
Was that innuendo?
😉
That’s what she said…
Some people just don’t have room for suppositories, what with their heads getting in the way.
*gets shoehorn*
….*blows on shoehorn; shoes gather*
It sounded more like an in-your-end-o.
I’m in IE and it looks the same.
Mine showed up after I logged in to the forum, then came back here. I thought it was special cause I’m a third-string moderator. 8)
Yep, Log into Forum, and a WordPress bar appears in FF.
Dashboard just links to the WP info page (but did not poke around much).
It’s got a dropdown with my avatar and username and a “shortlink”. The dropdown under my username gives me the option of editing my YSaC profile and something about a Dashboard and also a Log Out function.
However, it doesn’t show up in Exploder for me either.
Are you able to actually log into the Dashboard — like, the site admin section? Because if you are, that would be bad.
Or, I could just make everyone a Moderator and y’all could take over.
I suspect that it only shows up if you’re actually logged into the site with your username and password. And I’m seriously hoping that the “Dashboard” link doesn’t provide access to the site back end.
I did an upgrade to the newest version of WordPress yesterday; it’s probably part of that.
Off to do some testing.
No…the Dashboard lets me go nowhere.
A lot of rear end and back end talk today. Did I miss a memo?
MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! Mudsy gots a toolbar and I DON’T!!!
Don’t you all have toolbars? Too bad. Mine gives out ice cream.
Mine gives a FAQ, some people’s don’t give a FAQ.
Not when they let their dumb-ass cousin design their FAQing website.
Speaking of Wisconsin:
http://leasticoulddo.com/
He also does http://www.lfgcomic.com/ which is a necessary comic to read for the D&D or WoW geek.
Look! Up in the box!
It’s a ferret!
It’s a Taco!
It’s some unholy combination of both of those things!
A… faco?
A terret?
Well, it does display symptoms of Terret’s.
Ooh…touché Windy!
🙂
*squeak* *squeak* EAT ME *squeak* *squeak* *squeak* PECIL *squeak* *squeak*
Bad happy puppy! Stop squeezing the pecil! You know where that’s been!!! NO don’t bring it here! Bury it, somewhere far, far away…
*flees, screaming*
Also, in addition to my comment below,
Sparky Mudsam “terret”?
Quid hic “faco”?
You know you’re a Hick Faco when your family tree is a corkscrew willow…
Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari Tucumcari*….
….New Mexico.
* I just wanted to hear Windy tell it good night tonite!
LOL Okay, Wisconsin dodged that one!
Wisconsin? What’s going on in Wisconsin of any significant importance lately (apologies to Taco)?
😉
I think I heard it snowed there once this winter. Yeah, that must be what it is.
Hmmm. I know I’m not the only one who read all of the commentary up at the top of the page. You know, where it says the bike’s license plate is from some city in Wisconsin? They have bike laws in Kaukauna.
No, no, no, the bike is made of cheese.
I like cheese.
I like pi(e).
Totally OT: Going to a sci-fi convention over the weekend, and will have a chance to take in some Anime. Any suggestions, what not to miss?
Anime Schedule
Friday, February 25
03:00pm Aria 1-4
04:40pm Gakuen Alice 1-5
06:45pm Dirty Pair 1-5
08:50pm Boogiepop Phantom 1-?
Saturday, February 26
10:00am Piano 1-4
11:40am The Irresponsible Captain Tylor 1-5
01:45pm His and Her Circumstances ep 1-6
04:15pm Azumanga Daioh 1-4
05:55pm Taisho Baseball Girls 1-6
07:30pm Madlax 1-5
08:35pm Princess Resurrection 1-7
11:30pm Dojin Work 1-4
01:10am Elfen Lied 1-4
02:50am Closed for the night.
Sunday, February 27
10:00am Hidamari Sketch 1-7
01:00pm Urusei Yatsura 13-16
02:40pm Closed. See you next year!
*as NotMyName*
Well, Windrose, I’m glad you asked me. I highly recommend you watch all of it. Sit in the dark room the whole time and don’t blink. It’s worth it!
Take some toothpicks, that ought to help.*
*I have never been to any kind of convention… no advice here, sorry.
Skip Elfen Lied! Its overly violent, highly disturbing (little girls being tortured and all), and slightly porn-ish.
Princess Resurrection is lots of fun, sort of a spoof on old horror movie icons (frankenstein’s monster, the wolfman, dracula, etc) but with girls in the role and a very clueless boy that does their bidding.
I really dig Boogie Pop Phantom, but it is very strange and not for everyone. One of those is reality really real things.
I haven’t seen Azumanga Daioh, but it’s a lighthearted comedy.
Thanks, Silva! I will try to catch Princess Resurrection. Larry Niven will also be at the con, so I am hoping to catch all his panels. But other than that, I have no plans. 8)
Yes, Elfin Lied is certainly not for the faint of heart. I enjoyed it myself because it deals with a lot of the uglier sides of humanity, though extremely graphically. It’s something that I would not allow anyone under 18 to watch.
You probably also want to skip Dojin Work. It’s not violent or anything, but I found it rather boring. It’s basically the story of a Dojin (manga) artist who’s trying to break into the business.
And I agree with Silva, Princess Resurrection is a good one. I’d also give Boogiepop Phantom a look if you have a chance. Boogipop Phantom is rather artistic and does a lot of character perception based story building. I found it extremely enjoyable, if rather dark at times.
The Irresponsible Captain Tylor is an older comedy about exactly what the title implies, a young captain of a space ship that gets into misadventures.
Dirty Pair is also an older series about two action girls in tight clothes that shoot at things.
His and Her Circumstances is a highschool drama about two over-achievers (a boy and a girl) who also like eachother.
I’m not sure what Urusei Yatsura is about exactly, but know its an old comedy by the same woman who created Inuyasha.
Madlax is the newest series on that schedule, I think. About supernatural mercenaries. Animation is very nice, but to anyone who’s seen enough anime its very cliche.
Gakuen Alice seems to be about little girls in school, listed under comedy/drama/magic
Aria is nice but boring about a girl who pilots a gondola. Lots of rowing around and talking to her customers and friends and not much else.
and I haven’t heard of or seen the others
I don’t know anything about Anime, but I have been to a science fiction convention and it was awesome! Have a great time.
They have medications for that now.
Some of which may kill you or cause other problems, for which you may litigate. I love America. Huge deficit, cats and dogs living together, increasing levels of obesity and related health concerns – but the need for a hard on[e] and the right to sue when the meds you take for this either don’t work or make your heart explode or something is a topic consuming the attention of pharmaceutical companies and litigation departments everywhere.
/matt?
Sorry about that, but I had to deal with some of that as part of my work once and it makes me just a littlecrazy.
I think this should be the new anti-drug awareness motto: ‘Life: when you peddle, it doesn’t go anywhere.’ Believe me.
A youthful Winston from Wisconsin
Would pretend to be Then Came Bronson
The bike he had got
Would pedal forth not
So now he just fiddles with ‘johnson’
When I try to backpedal I don’t seem to get anywhere either.
Maybe I should stop trying to get out of holes using a shovel.
I dunno. I’ve met a few ‘holes, and a shovel did the trick.
For those kind of ‘holes, I prefer a well-placed Wordhammer.
And then I laugh when they don’t realize I’ve hit them with it.
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like
You say red, I say table
You say bacon, I say tini
You say topper, I say hey man
Poker was never my scene
And I don’t like bar stools
You say mis, I say jay
You say geeze, give me a choice
You say Corey, I say Matt
I don’t believe in old Crisco
Meat gerberts or [FEMALE TRAITS]
All I wanna do is
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my,
Bicycle peddl’rs are coming your way
So forget all your prices, oh yeah!
Bee’d pickup trucks, they’ll be riding today
So look out for that buzzing, oh yeah!
On your marks, get set, go
Bi-cycle peddl’rs, bi-cycle peddl’rs, bi-cycle peddl’rs
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle,
I want to ride my bicycle
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle (I want a)
Bicycle peddl’r.
[tinga-linga-tingley-ling]
You say six, I say oct
You say shirt, I say time
Brain bleach, I say cool it man!
I don’t wanna be the Sparky on that there Craigslist!
You say gig-, I say -hugic
Mi-ine hors, I say please,
Not.A.Lion, I say miiiinty.
I don’t wanna be a candidate
For hypnodogs or cat math class,
Cause all I wanna do is
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike,
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like.
This is a test comment. Please ignore it.
**Stares at comment intently.**
I can’t find the “ignore” button. Can’t I adore it instead?
No, but you can edit your comments now with a spiffy new version of the editor.
Hey, mine has a spellchecker!
Awww… Now we won’t have any fun.
And… and… AND I CAN MAKE THE COMMENT BOX BIGGER!
You know what
Ooooooh! What big doors you have….
Why does clicking Astro’s adore take me to the Democratic Republic of Eugepae?
Late comment: Because that’s my virtual nation.
Please ignore this comment as well.
**Lavishly spoils comment with attentiveness.**
Ignore what…wait.
Edit: Oooo, edit pretty!
:fetches popcorn for everyone:
I miss anything?
I think it twitched.
Somebody hit it again.
Poke it with a
stickpecil!I’m not getting my pecil anywhere near that thing. It looks like it can still bite. Maybe we should get a hazmat team in here.
EDIT: Ooh, spiffy. Except now the edit box entry window comes up too big and half hides the buttons and status box. But at least I can resize it to get them back. Kind of weird being able to resize the entry window without being able to resize the shadowbox it’s sitting in.
Dave, Punchity! Ferret, Punch! Taco, Punch!
G’Night, Mudsy and Tucumcari, Tucumcari, Tucumcari, Tucumcari, New Mexico!
🙂
“when you peddle it doesnt go anywhere.”
If the owner keeps peddling it with this ad, then it probably won’t go anywhere.