YSaC, Vol. 919: Stacked in the USSR.
Authentic Russian Stacking Dolls – $100
I have a Denver Bronco’s set of Authentic Russian Stacking Dolls complete set from super bowl 32 and 33 that I am willing to sell for 100 dollars.
Apparently there was some sort of sporting event yesterday. I certainly hope the team of your choice did well, and crushed the other, far inferior team.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy football, it’s that there isn’t enough chaos in the game to keep me interested. In college, my friends and I used to urge the team to punt on 3rd down. I mean, if you think about it, it’s a cunning plan: the opposing team would never suspect it! We thought it was a brilliant idea. For some reason, though, the coach never got around to implementing our play, preferring instead to go for it on 4th and inches — and not actually make the 1st down. (I never understood why that was a good play, but they ran that one a lot.)
Anyway, you can rest assured that these authentic Russian stacking dolls have been vetted thoroughly by the Russian National Football League, and won’t make any inauthentic plays. I wasn’t aware that the Denver Broncos had been traded to the RNFL, but — as I said — I don’t really follow the game that much.
Thanks, Lyn (or, as I’ve come to think of her, SisterTaco [sung to the tune of Night Ranger’s Sister Christian])!
The look more like defense to me…
I have a problem with your sentence.
Is look fines to me.
How expensive were the fines?
20 years to life not good enough for you?
Hardly seems fair considering your crime.
Pecil
I can’t believe no one would commute your sentence. Why that’s hardly worth… uh, I mean, I can’t believe you didn’t get longer time… erm.
See ya.
In Soviet Russian, the dolls stack YOU!
What happened to Lyle?
Doesn’t matter as long as she doesn’t call herself “SisterSexyFingers.”
*squick*
Was that one of the Nuns from the private school?
And by “private school” you mean “porno film”, right?
Lyle is taking the day off. You’re stuck with Sister Taco now. *smacks your hand with a ruler* Stop being so silly! Now to figure out how to pixelate a habit onto this sprite…
Success! Bwahaha! *Flails about with ruler*
Love the avvie!
Thanks! It’s been a while since I’ve done anything with sprites. Glad to know I still have it ๐
SisterTaco — Love the new avatar! For some reason it reminds me of someone, I just can’t remember who.
I’ve no idea what you mean…
Hmmmmm … now it’s Ninja Sister Taco, cool.
I’m so glad Ninja SisterTacoLyle has joined us.
Sister Taco…is she anything like Sister Golden Hair….surprise!!!!…..?
Personally, much as it is good for comic relief, I am glad that SisterTaco’s speeling skiils are standard.
Agreed; there can be only one TypoTaco.
I would love to be able to take credit for my amazing spelling, but it is truly a gene that runs in the family. Unlike my esteemed sibling, though, I have a spellchecker set up that puts these little squiggles under my words so I can catch my terrible, terrible mistakes before they become immortalized. (Case in point, I’ve had to correct at least 5 words while typing this.)
All this time and I didn’t know that Taco was steamed.
He is secretly TamaleMagic.
He should open up a chain of low-quality cheap Mexican food that may very well not contain meat per se.
Oh, wait, already been done.
Somewhere John Elway is thinking, “I am a Russian stackable, and not only that, I’m the biggest of the bunch!”
He is either very proud or has requested fresh crayons.
Could go either way.
(OT-flu gone, been replaced by bronchitis…funny, I don’t recall requesting a replacement for the seventh circle of hell that was last week)
Poor CJ! And you have crappy weather, too. I hope it is all better for you very soon.
Thank you, Lola! Yes, round two of ice/snow/sleet/scourge-of-hell is due in here tomorrow night.
Geeze, that’s just unpleasant…
I was feeling kinda bummed that it’s been raining all day, but now that just seems silly.
It’s been raining all day? Crap, and I rode the Harley to work. Stupid weather.com…
It’s not raining hard here, drizzles mostly, but it looks cold and wet outside.
I do so wish that you’d send your rain and/or sleet and/or cold our way. We never had a winter this year (not that we ever really have a winter in the Bay Area, but we had rather less of a winter than usual) and I would really like a winter so that I can justify the new HVAC.
Also, I like winter.
It’s just WRONG when I can comfortably wear tank tops in January and February.
Snowing all day here. Will probably continue to snow for the next day or two. Not Snowmageddon-calibre snow, but at this point, I think I’ve had just about enough of the white crap. I am so ready for spring.
Moira, it’s time for a trade. You can have ALL the winter, I want to be warm!
I’m guessing the only place where the Broncos are actually popular is Russia. Sorta like Mr. Big only ever did well in Japan, or Alphaville’s following was mostly in Croatia, and Nickelback having huge following in .
Don’t forget Hasslehoff in Germany.
Are you trying to intimate that Germans love David Hasslehoff?
Are you trying to intimate that they don’t? Or were his recording careers (I can’t call it singing) and their subsequent Germanic popularity based purely on irony? (Hilarious, if true, since Germans occasionally seem a little humor-challenged to me … and I say that as someone with half-German ancestry.)
For reasons best left up to large teams of psychologists to uncover, the Germans do, in fact, have an unhealthy affinity for The Hoff. Some say it has to do with one of his songs about freedom released and popularized around the fall of the Berlin Wall. I say it’s because all of the East Germans had lost all sense of taste in music during the separation and The Hoff was the first bit of modern music they were introduced to.
Can you explain the whole “French people loving Jerry Lewis” thing as well?
Given that we’re talking about the people who thought Josef Pujol, a.k.a. Le Pรฉtomane was once one of the funniest things on stage, is there any answer that would make any sense to us?
:clicks link:
Oh, my sweet Clothespin Jeebus. The more I learn about the French the odder they become.
The French weren’t the only ones to enjoy that kind of … entertainment. I recall in college one of my instructors discussing the bardic tradition and how some were known for … physical sound effects to “enhance” their stories. Best part about that anecdote? I was a childhood friend of the prof’s daughter and her response to my description of the lecture was “He told you about what?!?”
RIP, Dr. A. I actually remember a lot of your lectures, but that one the most.
Wow, new knowledge is supposed to enrich–and I’m feeling highly diminished by that wiki.
Slapstick and bodily noises may be a crude form of humor but, you must admit, at some time or another, we have probably all laughed at a well-timed (or ill-timed) fart.
Call it the lowest common denominator of the universal language.
Edit: that’s not to say that slapstick is at all easy. Done well, it’s truly acrobatic. However, pratfalls and the like do tend to appeal to our less-refined tastes.
I’ll be the first to admit I still laugh at lowbrow humour sometimes — if it’s well-done. However, much as I may laugh at times, I think I’d be kind of creeped out watching Pujol do his act knowing that his butt is breathing.
I believe the Broncos refer to themselves as “The Orange Kruschev” in Soviet Russia.
When I was growing up there in the late ’70s, we actually had Orange Crush t-shirts for game days (and after we moved, too). Gawd, I feel old remembering that. Thanks, Mudsy. 8)
In Soviet Russia, oranges crush you! (Had to.)
The Lionel Richie bust can do the halftime show and also provide snacks.
Those vibrating football games are a bit different in Russia.
Vibrating matryoshka dolls? Wouldn’t those … hurt?
Why am I asking you?
Little known fact: In 1940s soviet Russia (*Yakov Smirnov joke*) the Matryoshka Manoeuvre was a legitimate play. How it worked was the largest wide receiver on the team would stuff the smallest runner under his jersey, run out to catch the pass, and then when he got tackled, the smaller guy would scamper out of the larger one’s shirt, grab the ball, and continue running.
The popularity of this play led Russian teams to incorporate a healthy mix of large and small players in order to incorporate this play whenever possible. The best teams often hired three different sizes and nested them three deep with the biggest player carrying the mid-sized one under his jersey, who had the smallest one — usually someone with extreme dwarfism — under his jersey. It made it difficult for players of the opposing team facing such a play to tell when they should stop chasing increasingly smaller players down the field.
In 1948, the Petrograd Pelmenis took things one step further still by hiding a football-trained capuchin monkey under the jersey of the second nested player. Josef Stalin himself was said to be so incensed by this — especially because it was in a game against the Stalingrad Syrnikis — that he had the entire Petrograd team killed and served with his evening Borscht. the Matryoshka Manoeuvre was thereafter outlawed and a height requirement was put in place.
True story*.
* Not true at all.
Holy crap was this ever funny.
I aim to please. Washroom attendants are thankful.
I think Sparky means to say he bought the dolls from an Authentic Russian.
My guess? They really exist. That’s how they are authentic whatevers, as opposed to fake/virtual ones.
So are you saying I can’t call my imaginary dolls authentic when I try to sell them on Craigslist?
What, you mean as opposed to a Real Doll?
I’ll be in the corner.
I loved the movie Lars and the Real Girl.
Me too, kelli!
He obviously bought these dolls from Authent the Russian. Nothing wrong with this ad at all.
…and they have nothing to do with the Broncos. Note that the ad refers to a single Bronco. It’s his set.
I think they belong to Elway, which would explain why the doll with his number is the biggest.
It’s nice to see that the entire team stands inside him.
I’m sure he’s beside himself.
These newer quarterbacks just don’t stack up to the older generation.
Nyet, Dmitry, I say “Sack quarterback, not “Stack quarterback!”
ะะตั, ะะผะธััะธะน, ั ัะบะฐะทะฐะป: “ะฟัะธะฒะบัั ะบะฒะฐััะฐะป ะฝะฐะทะฐะด,” ะฐ ะฝะต “ะกัะตะบ ะบะฒะฐััะฐะป ะฝะฐะทะฐะด!”
(Nyet, Dmitriiฬ, ya skazal: “privkus kvartal nazad,” a ne “Stek kvartal nazad!”)
*nods wisely* Shmurgen fyurgen byurgen.
Wait, damnit, that’s Swedish.
Nyice-ski work-ski Kyaptin-ski.
Sweet.
Do you waaant… Do you waaaaaant a salad?
*blink* Yes, that’s what my brain did.
Forgive Dmitri. He is strong like bull, but dumb like streetcar.
Or perhaps strong like bull, smart like tractor?
SJ — When I first glanced at the picture I thought someone was selling new items for your toenail collection. (I’m blaming it on Monday.)
Our work here is done. 8)
I thought it was butt cheeks with some bizarre tattoo placement. Now mind you, this was when it first loaded and I took a gander. I waited for my eyes to adjust and then…… I got nothing and everything went fuzzy again.
That’s a little more disturbing than mine… I though it looked like painted/decorated toenails.
Three hours later: Uhm. That’s what Artsy said. See, that’s why I haven’t been around! The brain with the melty and the marinating in hormones… :-p
EB — I still blame it on the kids (and one of mine is driving).
It’s like having Stoned EB around, but without the painful surgery!
And (most) of the typos!
Best part of today’s post: The “World of Beekeeping” ads that keep popping up.
Same here! It made me happy ๐
Mudsy — that was my favorite also.
You can keep bees in Russian nesting dolls. You have to poke holes in the heads though, or else they die. Then you just have a maraca.
Or, as the poor ignorant chorus girl who came into band today to borrow some would have said, “you have a morocco.”
Hokay. So. I’m not quite ready to share this with Facebook yet, but MiniMiniEB will be arriving sometime mid-October! So, that’s my excuse for being AWOL the last week or so, I’m too hungry/cranky/weepy to be snarky :-p (Plus, I’ve had a work project that actually requires more than half of my attention… haha. And I’ve done parts of the project 3 or 4 times, because I keep forgetting if I’ve done it or not…. And I’ve probably skipped over parts because I’ve forgotten what I’m doing… Gah!) Well, that and the corresponding decrease in caffeine consumption… I’m down to 25-40 mg a day.
Anywho, that’s my fun news for the day! And hey, maybe my snark-gland will restart itself once I feel more well-fed…. I’ve been forced to live on crunchy-type processed snacks and ice cream :-p
Congrats EB. And it’s okay, post as you feel like. Just don’t forget us all together. ๐
Trying not to forget ๐ Like I said, I forget what I’m doing about half the time… I had to write “TECH QA!” on a sticky note hanging over my monitor because I kept forgetting whether I was doing a tech, content, or design QA :-p Also, I keep typing the same thing… I had to heavily edit my last post because I used the same phrase 3 times… Kinda like when I was drugged a couple weeks ago and told the story of coming home twice–once coherently, and then again a couple hours later :-p I did have a couple days last week where it was almost time to go home, and I thought “Wait… What was the YSaC ad for today? Did I even go there?” and then I switch tabs and realize I only read about 20 comments before getting distracted :-p
Nerp… Did I have a point to this comment?
Congrats, we love you, and don’t worry about ever having a point… or coherence. We’re just happy you hang out with us.
Congrads EB. I hope everything goes well. After you get used to no caffeine, taking a nap a lunch and stop praying to the porcelain god you’ll feel much better.
Yay congrats EB! Although I take it MiniMiniEB is a littler sibling for MiniEB, rather than a creation of MiniEB’s own? Sorry, my mind does weird things on a Tuesday.
Edit: also, thank you for giving me the opportunity to type things like “MiniminiEB”. This has actually been the highlight of my day thus far.
Second edit: OOH also, this means you’re just like a real live stacking doll! In a little while, pop, out comes a littler version of you!!
I may opt for LittlerEB, just because of that type of misunderstanding :-p
Edit: According to XKCD, I’m a sexy Von Neumann machine :-p
Congrats on your imminent MicroMini, EB!โฅ!
Ooo, I like “MicroEB”…
I’m not sold on MicroEB.
My brain just wants to put the E and the B in the proper order so that it spells the word MicroBE.
EB, that is the best news I have had in minutes! Maybe even hours! Another cutie like MiniEB, the world will not be able to resist the Cute! On, and I supose Mr. EB had something to do with all this, so congrats to both of you!
Note: I was going to say he had a small part in all this, but even for me, that’s rude to someone I don’t really know yet. 8)
@ Mudsy – Kinda apt, though; it gets inside you, messes up all your systems and makes you feel unwell*.
*Disclaimer – my mama’s a midwife and she refers to the proto-people as ‘adorable little parasites’, among other things, so I may have a slightly skewed view of foetuseseses.
Haha, it took me a minute, but I guess that would have been kinda rude :-p We are pretty pleased about it, and I think a spacing of 25 months will be pretty good for them… Mini is somewhat obsessed with babies right now (when I was waiting to find out if I was pregnant… he kept pointing at me and saying “Baby? Baby?”) and I think he’ll make a great big brother. He’ll even get a good practice, because my best friend’s baby (who watches him during the day, so he spends a lot of time with her) is due in June ๐
Jen, when I was pregnant with Mini I called him my little parasite :-p I haven’t quite gotten to the point where I’m feeling parasite this time around, but I’ll get there… My brain cells and energy have been the first to go!
In other news, I want a Jamba Juice!
I know someone who is calling hers “Squishy” a la Finding Nemo.
Dunno, “MiniEB, Ver 2” makes for a stylish MEBv2 with a hint of the energy levels created/used/expended (<teehee> “Millions of EB-volts” being some magnitude of elctron-volt quanta)
Your best friend’s baby isn’t due until June but it’s already watching MiniEB? That’s some clever baby!
Pptthth, Camille! :-p The brain! With the melting! And the hormones!
Congrats on your Mini Mk. II! Now your lowered caffeine consumption makes sense. Take care and good luck!
You’re preggers? Inconcievable!
Congrats on your future snarker. ๐
I see what you did there (and gave you a door for it).
Congradorulations!
Congrats! I think you’re allowed to be all distracted and vague at a time like this ๐
Congratulations! Remember, pants first, then shoes
Best wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s so exciting. You’re the 2nd person I’ve heard that news from in the past 3 days!
Funny story about that last one: I was at a birthday party, and the spread included veggies, cake, pickles, candy, pretzels, marshmallows, and melted chocolate, intended mostly for those last two items. The empty pickle jar had been left next to the melted chocolate, and a friend suggested that they should go together. I made a comment about “if you were pregnant…” – she then informed me she is! She actually convinced another friend to try the chocolate-dipped pickle with her. I have photographic evidence that needs to make its way to FB.
Many happy returns!
No, wait, that’s not it. You don’t return that sort of thing.
Um…….
Oh!
Mazal tov!
Best wishes to you, Mr. EB, MiniEB, and the new and improved NanoEB, from Crazy Aunt Lurky, the Poncho, Poncho Moose.
A new teenyEeeBee…how wonderful! Congratulations!
*checks calendar* Okay, It’s still Monday up here, Jen, you snarker from the future! In my office, we are down about 30% due to people calling in sick. Wonder how much the Super Bowl played in that? And same question about the low level of responses today.
Hehehe, I’m in ur msg bords, steelin ur dayz.
Ow. And some of my friends watched the Superbowl yesterday – were they serious when they told me a game of four 15-minute quarters takes 4 hours to play? ‘Cos if so, I suddenly understand why the ‘Murcans on here seem to understand Catmath way betterer than I do.
Four hours seems too short, I thought it took longer than that. You have to factor in the pre-game shows, the post game shows, the halftime show, the many, many commercials (the best part) and all the timeouts and such.
Also, those space aliens with the dancing glow-sticks.
I thought I was the only one who saw those!
Given what I have heard about American football halftime shows, this actually sounds believable. And I would so watch a game with dancing glowsticks *and* ETs!
The Peas had nothin’ on some of the bands at BOA Grand Nationals, especially in the category of bizarre.
And, once again, one navigation away, and all Adores reset (at least some incremented)
IE 8 on XP Pro SPIII
Testing my new phone
I give it a b
It stayed up too late watching Superbowl rehash shows and forgot to study. Ahem. perhaps.
I don’t understand football. Growing up, I thought that the down determined the play. First down – pass play, Second down – run play, Third down – long pass, Fourth down – punt.
Now I’m married to an ex-football jock. I still don’t understand football, but I do know that these stacking ‘things’ are not income-producing collectibles. As someone who has to hear about every viable collectible and team in the NFL/AFL, etc, I can truthfully say: “Haha! Get a grip on reality, Sparky”
Aw. I’ve just been informed that author Brian Jacques died this past weekend. His Redwall series of books were what got me into reading and writing as a form of entertainment.
Also, 6:18 PM EST: 502 Bad gateway nginx.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! That was supposed to be fixed.
Someone ngeeds to take nginx out back and ngive it a ngood spangkingning.
Whaaa? That’s so sad! Ok, now I’m gonna spend my next long weekend digging all my Redwall books out of my parents’ attic and re-reading them (I had them all up to The Long Patrol, when I finally realised I couldn’t grow up to be an otter, no matter how much I wanted to, and started reading books with more relatable characters instead, like vampires and wizards).
RIP Mr Jacques. Your ability to write intricate, challenging stories for kids (and create kick-arse girl characters while you’re at it) will be sorely missed.
I have the first book of the series but have yet to read it.
Also, I need to start logging in here earlier in the day instead of lurking late at night and quietly handing out doors.
So you’re the one who’s been silently handing out doors under cover of night!
Seriously, it always feels like once I comment, no one else comes back. I miss the real-time snarking!
๐
Many of us are still here. Oftentimes I might get caught up in a current project/contract job/whatever, particularly on the weekends, but I try and take snark breaks when I can. If I don’t, the snark leaks out into my music, and then my music starts taunting my composition skills, deliberately playing wrong notes, playing sharps when they should be flats, and totally wigging out on my chords. It’s terrible.
…. *goes off to find someplace quiet to cry*
I never read those books, though I knew of them and was bid read them by a friend of mine way back. Instead, it was Douglas Adams and Piers Anthony that really got me into reading. I was so bummed when Adams died.
I started my reading career by stealing “How Babies Are Made” from my pre-school.
Adams and Asimov are the two authors I mourned the most for myself but I have read Redwall and Jacques’ is a voice that will be greatly missed.
During Owl nesting season, there is a local nest box that is wired for pictures. While the camera shows what’s going on in the box, there is a window for live chat in the lower right side of the screen. So I keep thinking we can have a live chat thingie going on in the same window as the usual YSaC business, and thereby not lose the comments on the site but still be able to tell if anyone is around to snark with. Am I making sense? Am I making dollars?
HamCan, here’s your Pecilly Punch Punch! Er. Ow.
G’Night, Abramtsevo!
So I’m about four days too late for this, but that’s okay, I just had to comment anyway.
I used to work at a store where we sold things from Russia, the Ukraine, Poland, etc. Sports nesting dolls (from Russia!) are possibly the best window draw I have ever seen anywhere, and we had a waiting list for them. Mind you, this was in a tourist town, so the people on the list didn’t live in the same state, usually (nobody lives in Alaska except the polar bears and Sarah Palin), but they still wanted their names down so they could get one when we got the next shipment. It was kind of astounding, but also awesome. They even make college football dolls.
Okay, done with non-witty nostalgia comment.
Thanks for the flashback!