Jesus Head – $40
Jesus head for sale, $40.00 ###-####
For some reason, this Jesus head has the same look that Wile E. Coyote gets right at the moment he notices the oncoming safe. I keep expecting him to hold up a tiny little sign with the word “Egad!” written on it.
Thanks for the post, Meggo!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
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Every time I look at you,
I don’t understand
Why you let the price you set
Get so out of hand.
You’d have managed better
If you’d set a good price.
Now why’d you go top dollar?
‘Cause that just isn’t nice.
Jesus head
Jesus head
Who are you? Is your glaze free of lead?
Jesus head
Jesus head
Who are you? Is your glaze free of lead?
Jesus head
Superstar
Are you worth what Sparky says you are?
Jesus head
Superstar
Are you worth what Sparky says you are?
Total win, Dave!
And not a bad earworm for a Thursday!
HAH, no earworm here. I’ve never heard enough of that song for it to get stuck in my cerebrum.
There was this one time…at band camp…
No..wait, it was in chorus..and we tried to talk our director into letting us perform “Jesus Christ, Superstar” that year.
He was having none of it.
So we performed “Godspell” instead.
Ahh…the memories of a busload of kids, dressed up in their finest Halloween costumery, heading out to bring a little shake-up to the tight-laced of the community. You shoulda seen the faces of the people in rural Missouri as we piled out of the bus to eat lunch at Mickey D’s. One girl had dressed as a hooker, and done a damn-fine job of it.
Once again, good times remembered.
I find McDonald’s to be totally appropriate for a meal stop with a Godspell theme.
I just want to know if the kiddies that were there kept mistaking your J.C. dressed as a clown for Ronald?
We had several clowns, myself included, in the cast. And hobos and hookers and gangstahs…and the silence was deafening, we even got our pictures in the paper of one little town. Something about an “invasion” of crazy kids.
Even our chorus director dressed up in his best mob-inspired rags.
We had a blast.
Well, you just gotta live Day by Day while having a blast…
Dave, for some reason, now that you mention Jesus’ head being potentially lead-free (and therefore theoretically nontoxic), I want to lick it.
When I get my invitation to hell, would you like to be my “+1” on the RSVP? You’ve earned it! 8)
Why, why, why am I reminded of the couch-cushion-eating chick on My Strange Addiction?
Promise me you won’t show up on TLC discussing your inability to resist our lord and savior’s dewy cheek as an afternoon pick-me-up.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of that holy dreamsicle?
Sounds like a skit that Jimmy Fallon used to do on his late night show. One night I tuned in to see Drew Barrymore lick a bowling ball on a pedestal…
You are welcome to share my handbasket. I have freshly baked
babbycookies.Hi, welcome to the snark lounge, where head is always a double entendre, whether you want it or not.
I’ve yet to see anyone deny they don’t like hea..
Uh…nevermind, I forgot to whom I was talking.
What happened to the rest of him? Is there a headless Jesus body somewhere looking for its noggin?
Which, minus the Jesus part, is what I always thought the plot of the song I misheard as a kid was:
My body lies over the ocean
my body lies over the sea
my body lies over the ocean
bring back my body to me.
Bring back, bring back
bring back my body to me, to me…
I was a strange child.
Don’t worry Silva, you weren’t the only one.
I think pretty much everyone here would fall into that particular category.
I prefer the word unique, but strange would work too.
I seem to recall that we had this sort of discussion a while ago … YSAC is a collection of everyone who was odd/different/unusual to any degree as a young person, and probably at least to some degree as an adult. Let your YSAC flag fly!
Artsy…you just remember, you’re unique..just like everyone else!
Yeah, that would describe me, too. I always sat at the other table during lunch period. You know the one.
Although I think everyone here well knows I’m flying that flag like a mad bastard.
I like to fly mine eye-level with the Jolly Roger…..
And if you’re one in a million…there’s thirteen of you in China!
I totally thought that. Then again, I had an excuse. I was an ESL student when I first encountered that song. 8D
The “Egad!” sign (and likewise “Yipe!” and “Oh no!”) is only used in that moment during the chase between running off the edge of a cliff and the realization of such that causes gravity to kick in — presuming you studied physics. (If you haven’t, you’re good, carry on.) Falling safes, anvils, boulders and such call for opening a comically small umbrella.
Speaking of “comically small umbrellas”, is it just me or does this Jesus kind of remind you more of Emmett Kelly than The Almighty, Jr?
Or is the term “opening a comically small umbrella” simply a euphemism for something else entirely?
I suppose it depends on whether the umbrella pole was circumcised or not.
I thought the proper taxonomic term for those was unblubler.
Totally using “The Almighty, Jr” as a reference from now on.
Alternatively, the Veep (thank you, the Rainmakers).
Jesus looks like he’s thinking, “Funny, I swear that hawk wasn’t sitting on the bookshelf a minute ago.”
By the way, that is a lovely blue sweatband of thorns Jesus is wearing.
It could be John the Baptist after working out
Flings doors madly at Lara
This an interesting point to raise.
If this is some spare or excess item from a John the baptist production line, then that seems far less troublesome than the image of some decapitated crucifiction (and the CL ad that would then require).
I realize (if somewhat reluctantly) that CL is (percieved to be) a “no questions asked” sort of venue. But, does this post not require some sort of explanation of how one acquired only a head? Local church was being demolished? Spoils of gambling? A scavenger hunt gone horribly awry? Even “pledge prank” [“DELTAS!“] would suffice.
He’s just a one-head prophet on a craigslist add
Lookin’ for th rest of his bod,
In the Roman Empire no-one sees him at all,
They all say he’s crazy!
Sittin on the coffee table tonight,
Sellin’ for fourty bucks,
He might be covered with rasbery jam,
And he’ll hold your papers in a breeze.
He’s the son of god, son of god; just a head
And he’s copying the fish and the bread,
He’s the son of god, son of god; on your floor
And he’s blessin’ like he’s never blessed before!
Everybody is just so good with the song lyrics today! I applaud you all!
*blinks*
*sips coffee, blinks again*
I…uh…I’m struggling here….there’s something missing.
Oh, I know! This needs to be mounted on an oak plaque and hung over the fireplace! At Christmas, we could put a Santa hat on it.
*goes searching for phone*
I hope Sparky hasn’t sold this gem yet.
I think it needs some bedazzeling.
Or some clothespins.
That’s exactly what I was thinking.
Swarovski Jesus head!
It would also make a kick-ass hood ornament.
And you could finally answer “YES!” to those Got Jesus? stickers.
Today’s sinus-enema brought to you by….Windy!!
*chortle*
*carves another notch in keyboard* All in a day’s work, CJ. 8)
I was thinking more of the “Jesus is My Co-Pilot” or “My Jesus Made the Honor Roll” bumper stickers.
for my red SmartCar (No I don’t, I have a Mom van.)
Kind of off topic, but was anyone else disappointed when Elton John didn’t name his son Jesus? He was born on Christmas day, after all.
Well, it was that or Lee-Von
He did name his son Levon. Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John.
**snicker**
Furnish?
It’s his other father’s, David Furnish’s, surname.
Now that I think about it, “Furnish-John” makes me think of a super-camp, ostentatious bathroom, presumably with much bedazzling, highly-polished chrome, swagged fabric, ostrich feathers, and an attendant in toreador pants that leave nothing and everything to the imagination* – in other words, exactly the kind of guest facilities that one would expect at Elton John’s country house.
*Sorry, my inner drag queen just got out again; let me chase her down. You would not believe how well that bitch can run in heels.
I’m gonna do mine in Terra Cotta and throw a party…
Do you think Jesus would look good rocking a day-glo orange afro?
I think the Not.A.Lionel cheese head might already have the corner on that market.
We could have a theme party – the Not.a.Lionel cheese head and a nacho Jesus fountain.
What? Too sacrilegious?
*waves at sacrilegious line as it exits the lounge*
That wouldn’t be sacrilegious, it would be sacrilicious!
I’m voting for SJ for comment of the day. And so is my headless, bedazzled Jesus.
Gimcrack answered the door to a number of guests he had been expecting for the afternoon corn and pig roast he had invited everyone to. Down this far in the south, with such distance between neighboring properties as there was, socialization tended to be in the form of group gatherings on a fairly regular basis, as it was uncommon to simply bump into one’s neighbor while watering the lawn or fixing the pickup. Thus it was Gimcrack’s turn as host, particularly seeing as he was new to the area, and he had everything fired up and ready to go — but not before all the guests had arrived.
They filed into the living room, which Gimcrack — he had everyone simply call him Gim — had just tidied up. The guests looked around at his walls, which were covered with his hunting trophies. He hoped people would ask about some of them — each one had a story, some more more interesting than others, but a few in particular were quite riveting.
Although at first everyone’s heads were looking every which way, taking in the variety of sights, each and every one of them eventually settled on the piece just above the mantle — his real pride and joy and the most interesting one of all — and gaped. Gim smiled proudly.
“Is…” One of them — Marget, her name was — began, seeming to have a tough time getting words out around the awe. “Is that … is that … Jesus?”
Following her lead, everyone else turned to him, anxious to hear the answer to the question that was on all of their minds. Gim, his hands clasped behind his back, briefly bounced on his toes. “Yep! Got ‘im all by myself, wasn’t even huntin’ at the time, but y’know, you gotta be ready for any opportunity.”
If they were gaping in unsettled curiosity at the bust of Jesus before, they were a collection of deer caught in the blinding headlights of his revelation now.
“Y…you…” another piped up — Baub, Gim thought his name was. “You … killed Jesus?”
“Yep!” Gim crowed again. “Seems I was travellin’ down ol’ Horse Clod Road there th’ other day when I saw this flash o’ something’ run across way in the distance there, looked kinda like a deer. Well I tell ya, like I sez, you gotta be prepared fur any opportunity, y’know? So I got outta the truck and grabbed mah shotgun from the back and I stalked that sucker inta th’ forest nearby. Hunkered down in some tall grass there and waited. Then I saw it dash out from some trees there and I shot ‘im.”
The expression on everyone’s faces changed not a hair, as it was impossible for anyone’s face to register any more shock without explosives.
“You shot Jesus!” a third piped up, this one named Stew. “You murdered the Lord!”
Gim was a little surprised at the reaction. “Well now hold on, I thought he was a deer, fair and square!”
“How in the hell could you mistake Jesus for a deer?”
“I thought his crown o’ thorns was little antlers.” Gim explained.
“But deer don’t run on two legs!” Baub exclaimed.
“Neither was Jesus,” Gim retorted.
People looked at one another uncomfortably. “So you’re telling me,” Marget said, “Jesus was scampering around on all fours?”
“Yup, just as I said,” Gim replied.
“But Deer are much taller than that,” Baub accused.
“I thought maybe it coulda been a young deer,” Gim defended.
“You murdered Jesus!” Stew screamed again.
“So, Jesus came back from the dead as told in the bible,” Stew parsed out. “In the process of which you spot him, hunt him down, and shoot him dead?”
“Well, yeah,” Gim said, a little hurt by all the accusations. “If you put it that way, but I didn’t know it was Jesus!”
“He was wearing white robes!” Stew said emhpatically.
“Coulda been an albino deer,” Gim explained.
“You killed our lord and savior!” Stew was weeping openly now. “And now his head is mounted on your wall!”
Gim was completely unprepared for this reaction. Honestly, it was an accident, people around here should know that sort of thing happens all the time. Likewise, they should know full well that you try and make the best of a bad situation.
“I can’t believe you killed God!” Baub said breathlessly. “How do you manage to kill God?”
Frankly, Gim was getting a little angry. “Now lookie here–”
“It’s fine, really.”
The room instantly fell silent, and everyone — including Gim — turned to stare at the taxidermied Christ on the wall.
“In fact, it was kind of my fault,” the Jesus head explained. “It’s been a couple millennia since I came to visit, and I was feeling rather giddy, and the grass felt so nice, so I decided to pretend I was a wolf and lope across the countryside for a bit before I had to start with the whole Second Coming thing and all that. I mean, you have to realize, once I start down that road I’ll never get a moment’s peace, you know what I mean? All the judging and the answering of prayers and all that.”
If Jesus was hoping for an answer, he was about to be disappointed; everyone was entirely too stunned to do more than stare in complete shock.
“Soooooo,” Jesus continued when he realized nobody was saying anything. “I just kinda walked into that one, right? It’s cool though, seriously, I totally understand, Gim’s a hunter, I looked like fair game, you know how it goes. My bad.”
Stew began to shake as though he had a mild electrical current running through him. The tremors rapidly increased until Stew suddenly — and rather painfully — fell face-first into a prostrate position and began supplicating himself at the foot of Gim’s hearth. “O, my God, my Lord, my saviour! Please forgive me, forgive my sins, I am yours, O God!”
Jesus almost imperceptibly rolled his eyes. “Oh, get up, Stew. I’m going to get enough of that when I send out the press release of my return. I’d kinda just like to hang a while longer.” Jesus chuckled. “Ha ha, see what I did there? Hang.”
Gim finally broke out of his trance-like state. “But … what about your body? The taxidermy place…”
“Oh, yeah,” Jesus said. “Don’t worry about that. I’ve got it covered.”
As if on cue, Gim’s door opened, and in walked the rest of Jesus.
Everyone fainted dead away.
Jesus sighed. “Guess I’ll have to get myself down, then.”
And so He did.
*Lobs a Sacramental Door at Mindfield*
“When my father finds out what I’ve been up to, he’s gonna Crucify me!”
“My bad.”
— Jesus
Awesome.
*votes self president of MF Fan Club for the day*
See also:
Jesus chuckled. “Ha ha, see what I did there?”
*votes self vice president of the MF Fan Club for the day*
*votes self secretary*
Simply.Awesome.
Thankee! 😀 Jesus Head by itself wasn’t really gelling as a story but CJ’s comment made the perfect setting for one. 🙂
Well, then I’m glad I could be an inspiration.
Usually I just serve as a warning.
If you can’t be a good example, be a terrible warning.
Votes self treasurer.
*jedi mind trick:You will not miss these funds*
[dang it, 12.3g of lint, a button, and half of a vole]
what sort of chafing dish does that require?
I think Mr. Winkey drank all the Sterno, so it’s a moot point right now.
Hey, has anyone seen my half a vole?
I toasted it and then slathered it with Neufchâtel cheese.
**winks at Sarajean**
I thought that was a Draino and Melange Cocktail!?
**teehee**
Another gem.
::get door trebuchet::
You cannot get the door trebuchet, it is bolted down and too heavy for you to carry.
Obvious Exits: [North] [East] [Strut Funky Stuff]
Don’t forget Stage Left.
Stage left? Why stage left? Where stage go?
Why did Sparky feel the need to include an up-nostril shot? It just draws attention to how oddly shaped Jesus’ nose is. It looks like he’s had some work done.
Well with such an illustrious performing career I’m not surprised that Jesus started down the slippery slope of Rhino Plastic.
Jesus also seems to be missing an adam’s apple.
Oh… don’t say “Jesus” and “adam’s apple” in the same sentence. It’ll just dredge up bad memories of that whole talking snake in the garden “incident” that started it all.
I was thinking more along the lines of this being a rare and collectible Tranny Jesus.
Of course, SJ. That explains everything.
And here I was gonna guess that Jesus was saying, “Does this
sweatbandcrown of thorns make my adam’s apple look small?”The answer to so many of life’s little mysteries is “Tranny Jesus”.
Good to know. I thought that was the band name of the day…..
Unfortunately, when you say Tranny Jesus, I think of
trains…
and when I think of trains, I think of
Lionel…
and when I think of Lionel, I think of
abundant orange cheese fountains and TM’s reference from this morning.
“Pass the crackers, please!”
🙂
And it all comes full circle.
I’m totally asking for a Tranny Jesus action figure for Christmas! That is if I don’t run across one and buy it for myself on Christopher St.
Santa doesn’t deliver those types of toys.
He does what any upstanding, god-fearing, family-loving mythological creature would do.
He puts a sign over said “offensive action figure” with the words :
Family Shield: To Protect Young Harps’ Shoppers.
No Xmas for you little girl!
I’m totally making this my FB status when I get home. Also my new motto and possibly a large back tattoo.
🙂
Be sure to get the divine nostrils right!
I’m more distracted by the mouth. Specifically, what looks like blue liquid dribbling out of it, like Jesus just took a shot of Downy and it wasn’t really sitting right with him.
The vast majority of Jesus depictions have also had the MJ color treatment done but with (usually) more natural-looking results.
Is that a melanoma on his cheek?
That’s just where Lola kept licking him. I think it’s bubble gum under there.
Lola, please stop licking Jesus. It’s annoying Mary.
I thought it was annoying St. Bernard….
MarytheMotherofJesus, or Mary Magdalene?
‘Cause the answer matters.
Mary, Mother of Jesus. After all, it’s a mother’s job to lick her cub clean.
moley,moley,moley,moley…mmmmmmmmmmmmmollle….moley,moley,moley…
It’s not Jesus, it’s John Boy.
Minus the body, the whole crucifixion upward glance really loses some meaning.
Yes, Lara, but what it gains in utter creepiness cannot be measured, no?
I’d say on a scale of 1 to creepy, this is CREEPERIFIC!
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the…
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNN!
I’m so disappointed in this! Without the body, we will never answer that age-old question, how big was Jesus’ butt?
And how big wa-
It’s not blasphemy if I’m Jewish/Not really religious, right?
Right! And just look at those perfect teeth, pale skin, and wavy hair. No doubt about it, Jesus was a Jew, too. You can probably pick out dozens of folks in Bethlehem with that same complexion.
That is a salt shaker Jeebus Spice Chris head, if it was a pepper shaker head it would have three holes in it.
Don’t you hate it when you’re drinking fruit punch and sneeze/laugh into it and spray it all over your face? Not sure what made me think of that.
It always makes the eyelashes sticky.
Something about head always makes me yell for Jesus…
What?
I’m exactly opposite. Makes going to church with my in-laws pretty awkward.
Since my post never made it out of the “Waiting for Moderation” line yesterday, I’m putting it here.
This is the cake EB made while on her medication.
Oops. It’s been approved now.
There was a period of time where we were moving everything from one server to another, and it took us a long time to move all those 1s and 0s. Other things sort of fell down in the process. Sorry.
No worries. I figured there was a good reason, I just didn’t want the awesomeness of that cake to be lost in the depths of the commentry, so I thought a reposting was called for.
It was a pretty awesome cake. I haven’t checked out the how-to-do-it yet, but if I ever need to make a cake for a 70s themed party, I know what to do :-p
And with that cake you can finally taste the colors =P.
…or taste the rainbow….
*skittles*
*snicker*
Commentry: n, the peasantry who comment
The Llamanun and the Ostrimu (BBUT) are our rulers, and we are the peasants, toiling away for their entertainment.
All hail our benevolent dictators! May the bees be plentiful upon them.
Ave Ostrimus et Llama Monacha, Imperator et Imperatrix YSaC!
[Roman latin corey] our monarchs ought be Rex et Regina.
Imperator is a title which can only be bestowed upon war-fighting general, and then only by acclaim of his troops.
Octavian had the backing of the 13th, and thus was raised Caesar, Imperator by acclaim. Subsequent emperors were given the political title of “Caesar” and self-provlaimed themselves imperator (in much the way rebellious corporals become Colonels; or junta-leading leutenants become Generals).
That, and technically, one rises from Kingdom to Empire by winning lands by battle or suzerainty.
While I’m quite comforatable in fealty to the Apiarian Throne; one of those seated there will have to lead in battle to be raised Imperator. And while subduing a realm like, oh, the cheesburgers with hot blood and cold steel has great appeal. I fear it would be like conquering the balkans or the Gauls and Franks (that, and some of us are tasked to not permit that sort of cyberwar, even in such a good cause).
That, I look ridiculous in Lorica Segmentata and greaves (or “Roman sanals like the hippies do”–thank you Merle)
[/sociopoliticallinguistic corey]
But truly, who else but our Llamanun and Ostrimu are so ever-vigilant in their defence of our interwebs against the confused but persistent onslaught of the Sparkies?? Is not the battle for good grammar, spelling and general coherence a noble one, to be hard fought? If the daily struggle witnessed here be not a grand and glorious war on stupid, why do the troops rally so to the cry of “Srsly. Not. A. Lion.”?
tl:dr – Llamanun and Ostrimu fully war-types. Yay them! Imperator/trix 4evs! Totes def. lol
Oh dear. I will have to be very gentle when punching EB tonight. Maybe Taco will throw himself in front of the brass knuckles?
Like a grenade! Only with more zinc oxide.
Hey, check it out, my drug-induced fervor got me in da box! And yes, please be gentle… and avoid the front of my jaw… owwie….
Don’t be afraid to use Taco as a human shield.
To me, this cries out for chia seeds.
…And now I’m picturing my cats grazing on Spice Christ’s salad-head.
It’s a funny picture.
NO! Bad kitty! We do not use Jesus’ head as a litter box!
Kenny Loggins wouldn’t.
Jesus loves Kenny Loggins.
Jesus keeps a bust of Kenny Loggins beside his computer.
♫ Jeh, Jeh, Jeh, Jesus Pet.♫
Hmm… almost works. I bet if you killed the grass it would grow back in three days.
“ALL ABOARD!!!”
*opens wicker door to handbasket*
Oh…we’re ALL going to H-E-DOUBLE-TOOTHPICKS today. That better be a BIG hand basket.
I have a reserved VIP seat. See? *points to ropes on front grill*
Mine comes with the meal plan.
My seat comes with a monogrammed Love-Me coat. It’s purple velvet!
Sum iudaicus et sum religius non. Ha.
Vivere in Perdition at Fides defectu non imped.
Ergo quo vivere cave.
vescere bracis meis!
Reach out and touch face
Your own personal Jesus
Feeling unknown and you’re all alone
Flesh and bone by the telephone
Lift up the reciever
You’ll see I’m a great dealer
Take second best, put me to the test
With this on your desk, you don’t need to confess
I will deliver, Christ’s head will make you quiver
I’ll just be over here in the corner if you need me.
Lola said
There. I fixed it for you.
*gets in line for express elevator to Ninth Circle of Hell*
*wonders, “Hm, what does ‘lasciate ogne speranza voi ch’intrate’ mean?”*
I think it’s about that Hopey-Changey thing that happens every time Sarah Palin speaks.
According to my catranslator, it means; “For a good time call Marlene and ask for the bitchin’ anchovy party!”
:squints at catranslator:
Although that kinda looks like “anchovy pasties”, but that makes no sense.
Inepte Dantes asinus, sed commode scribit cantum?
… asinine-us commode is correct, sir!
I got… Dante was an inept ass who conveniently (may have sat on the toilet while he) wrote songs?
Notice how the head is facing away from the computer screen?
Apparently, you can’t watch prOn while Jesus is watching.
Or maybe it’s to mitigate the guilt from the excessive online shopping?
It’s so Jesus doesn’t see while you have quiet shirt time at the computer.
Sparky has kittens, you see.
Uhm…. heh heh heh….
Is this what it’s like on the Monday after a work Christmas party where you’re the only one that got thoroughly drunk and you ran around without pants half the night and told everyone in your department to suck it because you have to redo all their work and then you start an affair with one of the sales people and by the time you get home you realize that you only have one shoe?
No?
In other news, I reread all of the comments yesterday (Oh dear Spice Chris) and I can actually remember what I was trying to say… Two of the more misunderstood bits translate from “clenching my sawy” to “clenching my jaw” and from “Ocelot” to “Except” (though it took me a while to figure that one out). Ooops, did I ruin the magic? Anyways, I’m home again today, somewhat drowsy but the area between my chin and my bottom teeth HUUUUUUURTS. Hopefully the hydro will kick in and I’ll be able to find things to eat.
EB – please come back and post after the hydro…we want a repeat of yesterday.
Hehe. Unfortuantely for you, just a hydro wouldn’t do it… I’d need a couple oxycodones and a can or two of Monster, and I’m trying to phase off caffeine :-p However, if you’d like to try with just the oxys, please send them my way. These hydros are doing jack all.
EB, we loved your typos. Everyone together now…
Thank you for letting us share your altered state of consciousness. (I think my favorite was the free-association kiss/cotton-stuffed mouth comment.)
I could have restrained, but this is a safe place on the internets 😀 I knew I was going to amuse people…. so I just kinda let go of the tiny itty bit of inhibitions that remained through the pills. The typing was all the triazolam, though :-p
Well, with four of those babies under your belt you did a helluva good job
destroying the English languageregaling us with your adventure.I wouldn’t have been able to see the keyboard, much less type, and they only gave me one and a half of those puppies.
BTW…did you find the kobiyashi? I know I left it in the freezer.
The Kobayashi Maru? How did you get that into the freezer?
Lurk…with Halcion all things are possible.
Congrats, EB. You don’t drink, but now you know what it’s like anyway, which is a pretty neat trick. You’re even kind of hung over today and everything! Though that is not so neat. I hope you can get more painkillers soon.
In all of our excitement of your live-commenting while under the influence, I forgot what work you had done. What was it? Because if I ever have to have that, I also want to have what you’re having after. Woo! 8)
The gum around one of my bottom front teeth has been receding for years, no matter what I do. I’ve been told for about a year that if it doesn’t get better, I’ll need to have a graft done so I don’t lose the tooth… it never got better… et voila. They used some kind of biograft, and if I’m lucky it will encourage the gum to grow up to where it was supposed to be. Also on the menu was a frenectomy, because my lower labial frenulum could have been causing the gum to recede, but when I looked in the mirror last night I didn’t see any evidence of the frenectomy, so *shrugs*. As far as the sedation goes, I took one pill of triazolam by mouth one hour before the appointment (apparently I was supposed to let it dissolve under my tongue, but nobody told me that). When I got there, they gave me two more to dissolve under my tongue, and told me to relax and try to fall asleep. After 10 or so minutes, I wasn’t asleep, so I got another pill under the tongue. That was around… 9:30 am, got home from the dentist around 11:30, and I slept most of the afternoon. I think around 5:30, 6 was when I was commenting, and by 8 or 9 I was relatively normal. I’m actually working on a blog post about the whole deal, which I will share for interested parties when it’s finished 🙂
I’ve got a bottle of special antibiotic mouthwash right now because my lower front gums in particular are trying to recede (and have been off/on for years), so I hear you on the concern. And, much as I’d love to have your loopy fun, I don’t need any more dental surgery than I’ve already had for other things. At any rate, OW. That sounds incredibly painful and I can see why you are wanting more meds! Hope you heal soon.
I have known plenty of people upon which I’d LOVE to perform an un-frenectomy.
I had to ask Uncle Google what that was because it did not sound like something that you would find in your mouth. Turns out it is.
I was thinking the same thing when I read that sj. And then I decided to give EB the benefit of the doubt even tho she’s been generally loopy while posting here lately.
I seem to recall an episode of Oz where one of the inmates had to have this grafting procedure done to his gum. Alas, none of EB’s hilarity ensued from what I can remember. And there were definitely no rainbow cakes.
Blog post is done. And yeah, I suppose “labial frenulum” does sound like something to giggle about… but “labia” just means “lip” :-p
I had the same graft done around a couple of back molars (as opposed to front molars? *shrugs*) a few years ago. I have the same issues with receding gums. Doesn’t matter how/how much I brush, mouthwash, waterpik, etc, it just keeps happening on & off. Painful surgery and overall it only took marginally. Hope yours works out better.
Also, Mr was a little disappointed–he didn’t get as good of a show as you did :-p I did say some funny things right after waking up at the dentist… you’ll have to read the upcoming blog post to get the added-value experience :-p
…I’m going to watch an episode of Big Bang Theory first, though :-p
So I missed all the fun b/c I was stuck on the highway. Seriously. Over 7 hours of Just Not Moving Much. People need to learn how to drive in the snow, and the city needs to do a better job. I know this is “south,” but we get snow Every. Frikin’. Year. This isn’t new. It wasn’t even that much last night, it just came down fast right when everyone was leaving work.
I really really wished I had a smartphone so I could have spent the time with you guys. I even took out my laptop to see if there was any WiFi signal, but there wasn’t.
Awwwwwww *pets AR* We wish you could have spent your time here, also.
If it makes you feel any better, the same thing happens here, and I live an hour north of Boston.
Does it happen when you get less than 6″? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that all we got.
If it makes you feel better, a few years ago an ice storm caused the city of Raleigh to grind to a halt. Traffic did not move for hours. My normally forty-five minute drive turned into an over-ten-hours nightmare. All because of less than a quarter of an inch of ice.
I think it was last winter when an ice storm in Dallas made a 30-minute commute for some turn into an overnight stay in their cars on the freeway…which begs the question, where do you go when you must go??
That day my arse was in the car when the first ice pellets hit the ground. My normal 40-minute commute became a little over an hour long. I sat there, all warm and snuggly in front of the fireplace, and watched the nightmare on the highways via the news…all the while wondering, why didn’t y’all leave early???
I grew up with a lot of snow, and around people who were used to even more snow. We once went to a funeral in central Montana in a blizzard (note: it started after we traveled there and were in the service; we didn’t start traveling in it, as we’re not that insane). When I hear about people who can’t drive in an eighth of an inch of snow I go a little nuts. There’s caution, which is necessary and commendable, and then there’s stupid, uninformed fear, which is apparently transmissible and turns one into a nuisance if one has it.
NYC got another 15-18 inches last night and I still had to come to work – and was here on time.
/rant
If you’re my mom, in the bushes behind a closed warehouse. (She was stuck in the same traffic snarl I was; she went behind the building, did her thing, and got back into the car and rolled forward about six inches.) She now keeps a large plastic cup in the car to handle any “emergencies” like that.
Lola – Any suggestion of cold precipitation will send people down here into a panic. The slightest chance of snow or ice and folks are tearing apart the grocery stores to stock up on eggs, milk, and bread. (For the ever-important Emergency French Toast) It gets old after a while.
Actual answer: Sadly, yes.
Snark Lounge answer: I don’t know, I never get less than 8 inches. *smirk*
Boston has a French Toast Alert system.
SJ, I remember it well. My 20 minute commute took 7 hours to complete.
I always wanted to live somewhere where it snowed properly, but we kind of had the opposite problem – NZ doesn’t get snow very often at all in the urban centres, so the second the flakes start a-falling, everybody gets in their cars (!) and drives around looking at it. It’s pretty irritating, especially as a) I’m a pedestrian and therefore don’t have the protective ton-of-metal casing that auto-Sparky does, and b) I’ve never lived anywhere without hills. Hills + snow + stupid and inexperienced snow-drivers = inevitable ‘car stuck in fence/tree/child’s playset’ photos in the news.
I also wanted to be one of the people who’d use a brief flurry as an excuse to ski to class, but you’d properly munt your gear on the
ashphaltasphaltconcrete.Sarajean: Is the ice storm you’re referencing the one that forced kids to stay at school through the night?
Alternative to Emergency French Toast in Forum.
Band name du jour?
I had a waterbottle with me which was nearly empty. At the time, I was upset that I didn’t have more water, as I was thirsty. Today, I realized that it was just as well that I didn’t have more water, as more water in would mean a need for water out. And I just can’t imagine what I would have done.
Used the water bottle, probably.
I tried that once… It didn’t work terribly well. Neither did a ziplock baggie…
That would be the one, Astro. Lots of fun.
[OT] This funny moment brought to you by my work: customer account is listed as ‘HOME OWNERS ASS INC’. [/OT]
Well, it made me giggle. I always knew there was a reason Sparky couldn’t seem to find his. It was warehoused.
Also beware of shortening “Analysis” and similar words. Why do people never seem to learn this?
One of our local supermarket chains has a line of store-brand foods named Blue Menu, which is supposed to be a line of healthier choice foods with low fat or whatever. On the price tags on displays and shelves, it’s abbreviated “BM” followed by whatever dinner it was. Not exactly what I want to be thinking about when I’m shopping for food.
AND another account name : ‘Giggle Britches’.
:snergle:
I’m a fan of the Ass. Prop. of ADD.
Because who doesn’t want a face dripping blood on their desk???
Well, I don’t. Because then you just get all those people that pilgrimage to your desk. Then, they raid the desk and steal all your m & m’s and post-it notes.
If it’ll keep people from stealing my sh*t, I’m willing to give it a go. I’ll just put it behind the monitor, so I don’t have to continually be creeped out.
I’m pretty sure Jesus Head can see you through your monitor.
[OT]
A conversation I had with Mr. EB yesterday. He called me in the middle of the day to tell me something, and while he had me on the phone:
Him: Have you seen my stress ball?
Me: I think you left it on the couch, did you check between the cushions?
Him: Oh there it is! Thanks, I was using a clementine before.
Me: …
Turns out he was just tossing and catching it, but I have visions of coming home to find the living room covered in clementine pulp.
…With Mr.EB? Do I need to talk to my husband about something? :-p
I was wondering if I was the only one who noticed that.
Well, if she knew where Mr. EB’s stress ball was, and it was between his couch cushions… he’s gonna need it even more, very soon 😉
*whimpers*I’m sooooooooo confused…..
I’m hoping AR is going to elaborate because she just cannot leave us all hanging like this. Nuh uh…nope. No way.
Although I definitely like Bombdude’s interpretation as it stands.
😉
….Oops.
And I can’t claim heavy drugs.
I meant my Mr., Mr. AR.
I sometimes confuse myself for the people I see on the screen.
OR
I forget my own name, since AR isn’t really my name.
OR
…
I got nothin’.Edit: Actually, I can claim sleep deprivation. I got to bed at 1:45 am last night. I’m usually asleep by 11. And I didn’t sleep well after Mr. AR got up b/c it was already so light.
That is also my excuse for the typo above (and any others I haven’t noticed yet).
Ha!
“….i see dead people….”
I can’t be the only one who’d like to hear Clementine’s side of the story.
*whacks Caro solidly with a stack-o-doors*
I did rather wonder why you’d be calling another commenter’s husband … but the explanation is acceptable.
I just figured Mr. EB had called to let you know that EB was doing ok after the surgery, and the conversation went from there. In retrospect, however, I begin to recall that you don’t all actually live close together, however much you may appear near each other on my screen.
I hear you, AR. I think the first time I made a comment that included my Mr., I originally typed Mr. EB for Mr. Eyebrows but fixed it with a quick edit. Funny how things look different in the comment box whilst typing from how they then look in the thread. Now when I type a comment that includes a family member, I always remember Lola’s witty aside about seeing a home populated by various pairs of eyebrows. 🙂 And it’s ironic because three of the six members (Mr. being one) have no eyebrows to speak of.
Thank Clothespin Jeebus there was a picture with this one or this would have had to go into the now-vanished Adult Services category.
And somehow, it just got creepier.
That’s what I’m here for.
Rats and I was looking for a new head for my non-prophet organization.
Yessir, ladies and gentlemen! Hammie will be hear all week!
Don’t forget to try the veal!
…I hear the half a vole is to die for as well!
My doors keep coming and going. Now they are gone, again. They were gone a few minutes ago, then appeared, then left. I cleared my cache and browser history and still no doors. 🙁
Sounds like you are in some extradimensional rift…
Some, not all, are doing that for me, too.
I know that if I go clear cookies, none will be set, so, I’m refraining from that.
My doors seem to work normally at home. Yet another reason why I should not have to work, but stay home and play on the internet all day. *sigh*
I’ve been told I look a bit like Jesus before.
**winks at Jeebus**
I consider us Brothers of the Beard. Beard Buddies, if you will.
**Teehee**
Okay, this is priceless.
Mr. Winkey’s real name is apparently Corey!
It’s entirely possible that you win the internetz, Astro.
In other news, WHAT.
Okay, I think Mr. Link made Mr. Post go into the moderation queue, but, according to links on the 6dollarshirts blog to profiles on their staff, Mr. Winkey’s real name is apparently Corey, of all things!
Ohmygoshthat’ssocool!
So, basically what you’re saying is that Mr Winkey* is stalking YSaC? Seems perfectly logical.
*May the Llamanun protect us from his winks, bees be upon her.
Oh, man. You tattooed your eye. That adds a whole new level of creep to your avatar.
AH! Why would you alert me to that?!?!?!? Also, what the h-e-double-sippy-straws *is* that?
EB, hold that card up in front of Taco. There you go. Punchity Punch Park!
Taco, for valor in the face of snarkage, here’s your honorably mentioned Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Cheeses of Nazareth!
*Offers shoulder* Here, I’d much rather be punched in the shoulder than the face! I’ll have to take more drugs next week or so to get in the box again… Hehe! 🙂