YSaC, Vol. 896: Looking for Mr. Good Ad.
Craigslist is complicated, y’all!
help me
looking to give something away but there is no where to post it help anyone
Naturally, this was posted in the “free” section. No, really. You just can’t make some of this stuff up.
Community Bulletin Board
I’m looking for a Community Bulletin Board to post my flier for my garage sale. For example; apartment complex, store, restaurant, etc. We are moving and everything must go.
This one, however, was posted in “items wanted”. As in, “I want to advertise my garage sale.” That’s an item, right? *Sigh*.
I mean, Craigslist IS the digital equivalent of the grocery store community bulletin board; your ad will be on the top for precisely as long as it takes the people who repeatedly post ads for acai berries and church youth group sales to reload their metaphorical staplers. (Metaphorical Staplers would be a great name for a band!)
Thanks, Isaac (yes, that Isaac) and regular contributor pointyjess!
I got up, got dressed, at breakfast, etc. on schedule this morning, but now I’m tempted to go back to bed.
These ads aren’t helping. I don’t want to go out into the world if I might have to deal with these Sparkies.
Take a flamethrower with you. That should help.
Egads, that’s some expression in that avatar!
*passes Kosher flask*
(meat flask or dairy flask?)
Whichever she’s allowed to have under the circumstances. The flask is mutable like that. 8)
Slightly OT, am glad to see you around again, Isaac.
I did indeed go back to sleep, but the flask would have in no way prevented that. I’m a light-weight, and alcohol combined with my meds puts me out.
AR…for whatever reason when I read this I got a earworm…
….woke up, got outta bed
dragged a comb across my head…
Sigh…I hate that song….
*points* Does being in the box make up for that a little bit?
Getting into a box always makes my day.
What?
Why yes, Miss Windy, it does indeed. Thank you.
I always wanted to have a car equipped with a paint gun. When someone near me did something stupid I could push a button and my paint gun would spray “ID10T” or “STUPID” on their car. Now I’m re-thinking it. Maybe it should just spray SPARKY.
I would buy one!
I always wanted a small crossbow for that purpose… I’d tie my personal message to the bolt.
I’d also get in far too much trouble in comparison to whatever good it would do so I abandoned that plan.
Moira – don’t let reality get in the way. It’s good to
plotdream. Plus it keeps me from trying to run over the Sparkies.FourThree words – super glue squirtgun.I’m intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
In glitter paint!
When I rode a motorcycle I seriously wanted an automatic weapon mounted on the handlebars. (Just for warning shots across the bows of the winterbagles that wanted to be in the lane I was in.)
While we’re on the motorcycle topic:
Anyone else ever have the urge to crush a motorcyclist who’s driving between backed up freeway lanes with a well placed swerve?
I favor the well-timed opening of a door.
Excuse me, sir? Could you roll down your window?
Yes, I’m just going to pass you this limbo bar I carry around in my car. What was that? Oh, no reason at all, just hold onto that end for a second there.
Actually, lane splitting is encouraged around here when the traffic is backed up. I just feel jealous…
Unless it’s one of those motorcycles that’s nearly as wide as a car and can’t easily pass.
Or if the traffic is actually moving at more than 20 mph.
In Wisconsin it’s highly illegle to drive a motorcycle between cars (riding the line), mostly because it’s really easy to nail somebody changing lanes (As happens commonly in the summer).
Bacontini once got illegle at a party. Dumped his bacon all over de bar.
Bad day to be Bacontini dat day.
The gun on my bicycle shoots the flag that says BANG!
Now it will say SPARKY!
Thanks Artsy, life can be simple.
I want a gun that shoots people but the damn things keep jamming in the magazine. I don’t think I’m using enough duck tape.
Did you want to borrow my escargun? I know it’s not quite the same, but it works in a pinch and it leaves a trail so you can adjust your aim easily.
If you’re using duck tape, then I think you can only shoot
ducksducts. However, I think if you simply switch to Scotch tape, you can at least shoot people in Edinburgh.p.s. pssst…people can’t fit in the chamber. Ducks can’t fit in it either. But I think jam can fit in the chamber.
If I use masking tape, can I shoot bank robbers? Ooh, ooh, if I use electrical tape, can I shoot lightning?
Some considered opinion by considerable persons once evinced the idea that all cars ought have a launcher. Said launcher would deliver a streamer with a rare-earth magnet upon it.
Other drivers could then see the streamer, and be warned. Further, any vehicle with 5,6, a dozen streamers could then invite LE attention.
Choice of RE magnet deliberate for those inclined to just remove the badges of shame when they stop later on. Eventually, enough ‘dings’ in the finish would be as good a clue as the huge clumps of removed self-adhered streamers.
One more benefit: The array of streamers would help advertise mall and outlet-mall parking lots for free, too.
Mindfield:
Yes.
Yes—and electric eels as well.
And if you use Painter’s tape you can shoot painters.
If you use invisible tape you can shoot the Invisible man.
If you use measuring tape, you can measure your pecil.
I think we’ve got that all covered now, don’t we?
Cappy, you have just provided me with the solution to my projectile-of-choice problems.
For driving at night the projectiles could have small LEDs that would flash in the most annoying pattern possible.*
*With all the handy military folk we have around here, someone should be able to wire a circuit that could strobe “I am an asshat” in Morse code.
Well, night visibilty has been grist for this scheme many a session.
One idea was to have the streamers be self-luminous–but, that would mean having rather a large concentration of tritium in one’s vehicle; and subsequently where ever the streamers were disposed of.
Light-absorbant paint materials might be the simpler answer; the “magaxine” of streamers could have a bulb to illuminate them until use. Which, it has been argued, would be a cool way to alert a driver about the status of their “look, it’s an idiot” launcher. For those to absent minded to note if the illumination is “on” or not, well, they likely have a set of decorative streamers circumferencing their vehicle already . . .
Alternately, making the streamers of AL-coated mylar would be reflective in almost every light–if less “green” than glo-painted crepe paper.
Mind you, there are a number of rare-earth magnets in every single discarded, busted, or otherwise useless hard-drive-device out there. Not, that I’m suggesting a use (there’s an entire web page of “fun with rare earth magnets”).
And if you take apart your dead drives, you can turn the shiny, shiny platters into wind chimes. They make nice pinging noises when hit.
The magnets in hard drives are painfully strong.
And by that, I mean that I squooshed a finger a bit while playing with them. Trying to remove them from whatever they have attached themselves to is an adventure.
Ahh memories from the college dorm. We pooled our resources and bought about 2 pounds of small rare earth magnets (I think it was a gross of them). We proceeded to do fun things like stand down the hall from each other and throw them at the same time.
It taught us several valuable lessons.
1) Rare Earth magnets are really strong up close, but don’t have much in the way of catching distance.
2) Rare Earth magnets are very brittle, and magnet shrapnel is not fun to get out of a wound.
Once upon a time, I was at a church social and overheard two bluewashes in deep conversation about the state of immorality on our highways. The conversation has stuck with me because one of the two was notorious for her malicious compliance to the motor vehicle code — as in, “[explicative deleted] lady, make the [explicative deleted] turn already!!”
They were bemoaning the fact that everyone on the highway was so rude these days. They couldn’t get from their house to the mall with out someone honking their horn or rudely gesturing. It was inconceivable that they were rolling roadblocks or accident generators, no. The highways were full of ill-mannered hooligans.
It has since dawned on me that paint-guns, caltrops (for tailgaters), or any other “revenge” device would be a waste of time: you are just another hater in their world, it’s your problem, not theirs. They are just peachy keen; your frustration and insults are wasted effort.
Find your sense of humor and carry on, carry on.
So, AR…did you still remember the “Crazy for You” earworm this morning?
Oh, earworms are the strangest creatures! On New Year’s Eve, a friend played some Stevie Wonder songs, and ever since then I have been slightly depressed to think that Little Stevie, a musical genius of our time, and slightly disabled at that, sometimes for Christmas he would not get a thing! That’s so sad! How could that happen to someone with so much talent? Of course, he does say that it was his only worry, so it could have been a lot worse. Huh. Carry on, then.
No, this morning’s earworm was much better – “Shimmer” by Fuel was the last thing I heard on the radio before getting to work, so I was humming it all day. : )
Help me;
I think I’m giving
Some stuff away.
Are you going to tell me to post it myself?
That’s such a rotten thing to say.
Dave, et al.,
I am giving you a door just for your avatar.
Sincerely,
Tankerbell
Help me anyone
looking to give it away
but no where to post.
Astro, I think you are probably still too young to give it away. *shudder*
Amazingly enough, I, the teenage male, wasn’t thinking like that.
I’m looking for a place to post snarky comments about the sad state of the world. This place should be populated by intelligent folk who understand basic grammar and spelling. Do any of you guys know where I can find this place?
Yeah, but it’ll cost you – at least 2 tubs of vintage cereals and 50 obos.
And a set of bedazzled hooves.
Luckily, I carry these items with me at all times. I do look a bit foolish, but you can never be too prepared, right?
(Imagining a sort of hedgehog-like Beau bristling with obos.)
I betcha Beau gets love from the TSA. Unlike me. Did I mention that I’m back home now and didn’t get any of that TSA feelin’-up I was promised on the way home, either? Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?
[TSA toucha toucha touch me ot] Tankie, I didn’t get any of it either. On the way home, the woman in front of us got waved into the naked machine (my daughter and I agreed if we were waived into it, we’d do an opt out), but both of us got waved through the old fashion metal detector.I thought I might get some special attention when I was called back to the checkpoint, but they had only called me to return my identification card. [/ot]
Have you tried an apartment complex, store, or restaurant?
I hear the internet’s good, but I don’t know of any site where people post stuff that they want or want to get rid of. That would be ideal. I wonder why someone hasn’t come up with it yet.
You know, I bet if there was a site like that, some people would suck at it. Henceforth, some other site would be created to make fun of said people. Just a hunch.
For every action on the internet, there is an equal and opposite reaction, I have begun to suspect.
Hi, Beau! Come by more often!
Sounds the sort of thing after an apple uses one’s powdered wig for an impact target–since we are speaking of things Isaac.
Maybe then I could get someone to write the ad for me — for free. Where or where would that be?
Maybe you should find a place to post an ad to find someone who could write an ad for you.
I think a tear in the fabric of space-time just opened up in my desk.
It’s sparkly.
Great idea SJ – could you help me with that? I really don’t have the
timeenergymotivationintelligenceabilitystuff to do that.I’m looking for some place to reply to Christina’s comment that she stole from me. Can someone help me please.
Have you tried 911 yet? They love calls like that!!
(Not really Sparky!)
I’d like to reply to some snarky comments, but I don’t know of any place where I could possibly do that. Please help me. I know all the words to the theme song for Gilligan’s Island (both versions) and I promise not to sing it.
Windrose posted something very much like this yesterday. Hmmm…
I just learned never to look in the romance section. Pardon me while I go hurl.
Probably filled with mostly vampires and werewolves these days.
Romance had been dying a long, long time, but CL drove the stake through it’s heart and dusted it completely, I believe.
Hey don’t say that. There’s nothing I find more romantic than a man who posts pictures of teddy bears in bondage gear and tells me how much he wants to find a conservative, Godly woman who’s also into getting her sweater hams attached to car batteries.
Ahhhh, his whispered sweet nothings in my ear, the smell of rose petals on the bed, and the glow of sparks on my ladybits. So romantic.
Ah, so you’ve seen Rep. Vitter’s latest posting.
That is a better statement than anything I have ever read in a bad romance novel. Brazilian doors to you.
Please…don’t deny me
Whisper softly in my ear
Speak sweet nothings to me
Tell me how much you need me
And I will make you my king
*buzz – crackle – hum*
Let your breath fall upon me
Let it skate upon my skin
Whispering all over me
Make me feel like a queen
*hiss – buzz – spark*
Whisper sweetly, whisper softly
Whisper sweet nothings
Whisper only to me
Whisper my name…
*buzz – zzzisss – hum – crackle – pop*
Apologies to Lady Sunshine………
Got this far down the page when adores stopped “taking”
Then it was the dread 502 Bad Gateway on hitting Refresh
(circa 1455 CST 4 Jan 11; IE 8 on XP Pro SPIII)
CCleaned and back again.
I like the romance section.
It makes me realize that no matter what’s going on in my life, it could always be odder/more desperate.
Also, like adult toy stores, that section makes me giggle insanely.
(I once introduced a co-worker to it because he needed cheering up and also freaky inspiration for something he was writing.)
The romance section is somewhere in the sad/nauseating/bizarre range. I once found an ad from a guy who wanted to meet abused women because they were wilder in bed. I really wanted to respond, meet him, and introduce him to my baseball bat.
There’s a guy in NYC postings – repeatedly – who wants someone who was raped and/or with incest issues and fantasies. Much as I want to flag those ads, he’s not actually asking for anything illegal, just deeply unethical and patently creepy. (I may start flagging them anyway.) Part of me would like to respond, meet him, and express the fantasies of what I’d like to do to him (a baseball bat would be a start), but that actually would be illegal. Also, I’m not sure I could keep my cookies untossed while attempting to correspond in order to set him up.
This guy SO needs a visit from the YSaC home-visitation team.
I don’t browse at work, but if I’m at home and need cheering up I’ll stroll through the romance section. No matter how cookie-dough-eating depressed I get, there is always someone worse on CraigsList.
Kinda makes me wonder what those poor souls do to make themselves feel better. I’m guessing it’s either the cheeseburger cats or YouTube.
Until they find themselves on YouTube.
Or mistaken for a cheeseburger cat.
Or on YouTube being beaten so badly with a bat that they speak like a cheeseburger cat.
*Points*
LLAMA!
No, Typo, her name is Lara. RRR.
I thought she was an I’ll-pack-U.
:squints:
Looks like a cheewahwah to me.
That reminds me of something Marching Band has taught me: the difference between West Virginia and Kentucky.
You see, here is what you see going through Kentucky:
Adult Store, Liquor Store, Adult Store, Liquor Store, Adult Store, Liquor Store.
And in West Virginia:
Adult Store, Church, Adult Store, Church, Adult Store, Church.
Looking For: Clue
My wife, friends, coworkers, dogs, misjay, etc are always telling me to get a clue, and no matter where I look I can never seem to find one. I’m pretty sure I’ve got the right adapters for utilizing a clue if I can find one, so I’m just looking for somebody who could sell me a clue. Preferably new, but I’d accept a used one. Please tell the internet if you have one and it’ll let me know.
Thanks!
Asshat Sparklington IV.
TacoMagic, in the comments section, with the snark-alizer.
LRC, close but no cigar! It was actually TacoMagic, in the winter bagel, with the snark-a-lizer.
Here, I’ll help you catch one.
*holds up sign: “Port of the Clue Boat, This Way.”*
You, sir, are an impostor!!
Best. Avatar. Ever.
10! +++++
That’s one avatar that is t-shit worthy.
That was my great grandfather years ago when clues were difficult to find and nearly impossible to catch. In those days you had to go out into the wild and catch a clue with your bare hands, not an easy task. Now, thanks the the patented Sparlklington Clue Extraction and Implantation System, deemed the Sparkles 3000, we can now utilize even more of captured, wild clue for needing individuals.
But Sparklington Corp isn’t stopping there. Even now new breeding and cloning programs are being explored to try to produce domestic variants of the troublesome clue. Using only the newest methods in clue rearing, we’ve bread the first clue in captivity; a monumental breakthrough in more stable clue production.
We’ve also started outreach programs to provide clue to those less fortunate. In our Sparky community outreach centers, those desperately in need of a clue can come and get small quantities of value priced clue without the overhead of the more expensive clue sold commercially.
Yes, we here at Sparklington Corp. are dedicated to helping you get a clue!
Back off Sonny, I’m not dead yet. Everyone knows that clues caught by hand are fresher than those caught by your pathetic Sparkles 3000. You are disinherited!!
Asshat sock commenter wars. This is why I get out of bed in the morning!
Amen, Lola.
Now were know where the Sparkies who don’t get a clue get it.
The local Wallmert has on special today only Sparklington Corp’s Clue
rejectsseconds for the low price of 10 obo’s. But don’t stop there we’ll also include a free subscription to the “Get A Clue” Magazine absolutely free. You’ll be able to amaze your friends and family. Hurry in today. Quantities are limited. Only one to a customer please.Wallmert
*snort* Love it!
“Wallmert”? is that “the store we cannot name”?
Is this something like pigs-in-a-blanket? ‘Cause those are yummy!
That and the fact that it’s the
might be subtle clues as to who is behind that particular sock puppet.
Let me guess…. not Isaac¿
Edit: Uhm. I have no idea how my question mark ended up upside down. Too many Bacontinis?
˙əɯ oʇ əuıɟ sʞool
What’s that old saying … “The cobbler’s children have no shoes”?
Personally, I prefer my clues bread with a double-dip of flour, egg and cracker crumbs.
The key to stability, though, is to let them get good and brown on one side before flipping them in the pan…oh, and making sure the oil is good and hot.
I’m glad to hear that
SparlklingtonSparkiliiengtonyour company is covering this niche market.Come on, CJ, where’s your Texas spirit? First ya gotta marinate them in beer and that better be bacon fat in the pan if you aren’t going to deep fry them. Don’t forget the brisket relish either.
How about chicken Cordoncleu?
[toast indice français corey]
Wow, just had one of those moments imagining chopped beef on french toast. I’m sorting out, in my head, whether that would be better with pecan-butter or genuine maple syrup. The latter would be more savory, I’m thinking, especially with a nice spicy bbq sauce.
[/psvlovian lip-smacking corey]
Bacontini tink he know someting that make de Cordoncleu better.
But Bacontini being impish and only assume you know what he mean. :Winking smiley face ting:
As always, Bacontini here for de ladiest. Epsecially dose who put de meats on de french toast.
Betty White cardboard cut-out.
In the Boudoir
With a Golden Globe
help me
looking to post comments about this ad but there is no where to post it help anyone
See, what I do is once I see something I want to comment on first I write the reply down on a piece of paper and fax it to the reply service I use. Once they recieve the preliminary write up, they call me and walk me through sending them an email with a typed version of what I faxed them and collect my payment information for the posting.
Then a small collection of hours later my post appears on the internet! It’s amazin isn’t it! That even I can have something that appears on the internet since I know some of the people who own it! Too bad posting on the internet isn’t less expensive. I’m going to have to start a second job just to cover the posting expenses.
You must to live in remote areola, because a round hear weave got a serbice wear we can just call up and talc someone and dicktate what we want posed, and they type it up right to there on the Inter-net as you talk! Mynd you, the guy I talk to had pretty think axe cent and I couldn’t quite umberstand what he was spaying when he was reading it to back me, but I was able to cross-preference what he was slaying with what I rememberer saying and I fugured he porbalby knew what he was gluing, so I’m sure it got roasted on the Internet just find, including the like dis ost.
Freaky-puppy….owww…ouch….OUCH…..
Whew…that hurt to read!
*snergle*
Is that something like an accessory nipple?
Scintillating Duodenum.
Scaramanga in The Man with the Golden Gun had a third nipple. That might qualify as a remote aerola.
Back in college, I dated a guy that had a third nipple. I don’t remember if it had an areola, though.
Also, we thought my son might grow a third nipple, but it ended up just being a funny looking birthmark thing…
On people with remarkably large nipples, the remote areola is the region on the edges, with the middle area being the suburban areola, and the centermost region being the downtown areola.
Then, in the evenings, everyone goes to the temple in the city center to party.
…while a few sneak off to the headlight district.
That would be an awkward meeting of the R/C Club.
Downtown Areola sounds like a feminist folkie band.
Sometimes my duodenum scintillates, then I have to take immodium. And change my pants.
Wrong time to have just re-read George Rush’s Ring Cities . . .
So……IF’s Indigo Girls/Ani Difranco crossover tribute side project?
Fronted by a Fred Schneider look-alike.
*dials phone*
Hello? Uncle Craig? Listen, I have got a fantastic idea. You know how we’re always looking for ways to advertise items to a large audience all over the world using the Internet?
Uh, no…no…I don’t have any ideas regarding that particular venture.
I was thinking we could start our own band, call it Craig and His List.
Yeah, totally…we can cover everything from “Lay Down Sally” to “It’s a Small World After All”…you know, something for everyone.
Now, if we just had a convenient website to place an ad for instruments, band members, venues..etc…sigh…maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all.
*click*
Uncle Craig?
Hellloooooooooo?
This is the second day in a row that my brain has read “Lay Down Sally” and, being unfamiliar with that tune, replaced it with Mustang Sally. Wouldn’t be a half-bad earworm except it made me think of yesterday’s comments, so we’re back to hakUUUUUUUUUUUUnamatata.
I had Lay Down Sally in my head all afternoon and evening and while I was taking down the Beesmas tree, complete with the “move my bowels” lyrics. Now it’s back. I hate you guys.*
*This may be a gross exaggeration.
I find having the radio on with good eclectic tunes helps prevent this porblem.
LaKitta, Eric Clapton’s Lay Down Sally is a classic.
All I could think of while reading this was:
“Hello, Chuck? It’s Marvin.
Your cousin? Marvin Berry?
Yeah. You know that new sound you said you were looking for?
Listen to this…” (holds receiver toward Michael J. Fox.)
Seriously one of the best movies made! We went to see it on the October “anniversary” rescreening and took my folks, sis, and brother-in-law. Much laughter and reminiscing ensued.
It holds up well if you can ignore the girlfriend’s OMG 80s outfit and hair.
I second that emotion!!
And the jiggawatts.
Help, I need somewhere
Help, not just anywhere
Help, you know I need somewhere
Heeeeelp!
I’m looking for a community bulletin board
To post my flyer so that I can sell my horde
We’ll soon be moving, and so everything must go
The desk, the chairs, the coffee table and bureau
Help me please to spread the word around
I’d appreciate the boards that you have found
Help me lift this sofa off of the ground
Won’t you please, please help me?
I’d like to give some things away, but I don’t know
Just where to post the crap that I would like to go
I don’t want anything to cart this trash away
I can’t be bothered with the wingnuts on eBay
Help me please to spread the word around
I’d appreciate the boards that you have found
Surely someone out there wants this basset hound
Won’t you please, please help me?
I’m looking for a community bulletin board
To post my flyer so that I can sell my horde
The deadline’s looming and I’m running out of time
Why can’t I sell this stuff? Is it the life-sized mime?
Help me please to spread the word around
I’d appreciate the boards that you have found
I will even sell this junk pile by the pound
Won’t you please, please help me? Help me, help meeeeeeeeeee!
I believe that John Lennon is smiling and nodding his approval of this, somewhere.
As for myself, “Help me lift this sofa off of the ground” is tied for “Surely someone out there wants this basset hound” as my favorite lines.
I adore this so much it hurts.
Well, then,, the new avatar is well-matched to the emotion; Brava!
Wow, now we need a crazy movie plot to go with this, like a mad scientist kidnaps Hammy, and bunch of customer service workers in India help the rest of us break into the Orbiting Cave of Technological Wonders ™ so we can rescue him. We can sell it on Craigslist, and find a cast and the camera man, and a camera! We’ll be rich!
Don’t forget the red paint. I don’t remember much about that movie, but I remember lots of red paint.
Judging by the glassy look in Paul’s eyes, I’m guessing he can’t remember much about it either.
I’m going to try to get this one in there before Isaac beats me to it:
Hoard not Horde. Thanks! Back to my seafood stew.
Yeah, unfortunately I caught that hoard/horde error after the edit window so I couldn’t fix it.
But you never know. Sparky could be trying to get rid of a horde of vikings because they keep eating all his spam.
Isn’t “seafood stew” a euphemism?
Keeping in practice.
I like Spam.
What?
Is it Cockney rhyming slang? Seafood stew, seafood stew … crew … shoe … cue … queue … Jew … muu-muu … μ … stinky poo … bijou … tutu … oompa-loompa-loo …
help me
i found the free section of craigslist and now i cant get out help anyone this is almost as bad as when i was trapped in that chinese fortune cookie factory
Help me! I broke apart my insides!
Help me! I’ve got some junk to sell!
Help me! The only thing that works for me
Help me post some ads on the ‘net!
I wanna post ads ’bout my not.a.lion
I wanna put them on a website
I wanna post ads ’bout my not.a.lion!
My red table is free
When you give me money!
I want a certain kind of animal
I want a big Bea Arthur cutout
I want a certain kind of animal
It can’t be bent, scratched or flawed
You’ll get me closer to Maude!
OT – Today’s sinus enema is brought to you by the following excerpt from “As the Corp World Implodes” a/k/a the corp communications folks at the company I work for…
A preface – we often receive communications about industry happenings, safety, workplace accidents, etc from our sister plants as well as across the industry.
Today, we got an e-mail detailing an OSHA recordable event at a sister plant. For those unfamiliar – an OSHA recordable means someone got a big enough boo-boo to get meds/stitches/hospitalized or any other type of non-first aid assistance.
So, I’m reading through the announcement, sipping my bottled water, when my eyes get to this:
“The individual’s right leg entered the trench cutting the chin just below the knee”
And the sinus wash ensued….I mean if the guy’s chin is below his knee, isn’t a minor lac the least of his worries?
Heh…Heh…ahem…ummm….guess you had to be there….
8) Maybe his name is Schindler, and he walks with a slight list now. Okay, that was lame. But it had me in stitches.
*snerk*
Schindler, lame, stitches??
*snergle…snerk*
(yes, that Isaac)
(there castle)
Me, Doctor?
No, me Sara Jean. You Windrose.
I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. You were in parentheses.
Isaac (yes, that Isaac) is my Isaac Hayes/ Chris Isaak cover band.
No, wait, that’s Chris Isaack Hayes. Never mind.
Flier
I’m looking for a flier to post on my community bulletin board.
*mmmph..chew…snergle*
OT – yet again – OMG! Do you know what I’m having for lunch? I mean besides the bag of M&Ms?
It’s a salad with candied pecans in it.
Oh..my…goodness.
These are yummy, yummy, yummy…I’ve never had them before.
No, really I haven’t…
Yes, I’m a Southern girl…well sort of…I’m a Texan.
*raises eyebrow*
There is a difference.
Wow…I’ve found my new lunchtime fav.
*chow..munch..snergle*
Yum. I used to have a salad with candied walnuts on it on a pretty regular basis. It was delish!
Dangit, now that’s what I want for lunch…. And I have no idea if I can even get some around here…
Edit due to more yum-pondering: And especially if the candied walnuts are warm…… yuuuummmm…..
Luckily, one can both spice and candy nutmeats at home.
Results are quite spiffy and have many uses.
Was given a spiffy recipe over the holidays for partially-toasted pecans then seasoned with cinnamon and chilli powder then glazed in simple syrup and baked.
I have candied pecans somewhere here. I did a salad for a potluck a while back of field greens, dried cranberries, candied pecans and balsamic dressing… all available from the local grocery store.
I saw Creme Brulee almonds the last time I was in SprawlMart but I didn’t get any. Now I’m very tempted to make a trip for some.
I thought they said Et tu, Brute? Almonds so I didn’t get any. Figured I’d wait until March 15th.
Et tu, Brûlée?
More Fun with Linkies!
http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/
Wait, there were that many ads with “pecil” spelt correctly? Really? <G>
Wanted: Ride to Kalifornia.
Am looking for the free ride board to post this here message but can’t seem to find it— just this craigslist tape recorder thing. Hi… Guess who this is… It’s me, Adele. Um, I know I’m probably not supposed to be talkin’ on the tape recorder, but um, I just wanted to say thank you for taking me and Early with you on your trip, cuz me and Early is havin’ a really good time. And um, I just hope when we get to Kalifornia, that you guys don’t forget all about us. Cuz friends are important, and well, you’re the only friends we got. Bye.
In other news:
Only 2.5 coffeeless days left!
I was wondering. Your caffeine situation came up in conversation today. Apparently Lola’s got contraband. *snort*
Not that you are counting.
Nope, not at all. *Draws the line just a little further through Jan 5th to represent the last 5 minutes*
Actually the cravings have been really light this week compared to last. I wouldn’t have even thought about how close I was to the finish line except that a co-worker just walked in with a Starbucks caramel mocha (my gateway coffee).
What I learned from this year’s venture: That while Carnation Instant Breakfast makes a rather decent substitute for the morning coffee when you use heated milk, it does NOT taste like hot cocoa.
Another OMG moment from my past…
Carnation Instant Breakfast – hot or cold – ALWAYS makes me hurl.
I used that, as a kid, to get out of going to school a time or two.
My warped-ness began at an early age.
It doesn’t make me hurl, but I’ve never been a huge fan. Just tastes like really weak chocolate milk to me.
Mmmmm. Chocolate milk.
As did mine. I used to be fed a daily dose of cod liver oil. And I liked it. Tasted kinda like molasses mixed with golden syrup. Despite that I still never liked Carnation Instant Barffast. It tasted like artificial chocolate sawdust yeast to me.
CJ
Did you eat it raw?
Those were snacks, kinda like counter leavin’s
Maybe this is Sparkles who is 12 and looking to give away her, uh… “flower” but there is no more CL Erotic section.
Alternatively, maybe it’s Sparky who is 14 and all his friends have “given it away” but not him, and he, similarly, is lamenting the demise of CL Erotic.
I’m not interested in helping either of them. They might reproduce.
OT: I think I have an idea for a sister blog to YSaC. You Suck At Answering Ads on Craigslist. For instance, I explained to a lady in email that the love birds are actually $60 each, instead of all three for that price, and that the first two people had said no. She replied, “So then I can only buy two?” I read that several times, got no intelligence out of it, and replied, “You may buy as many as you wish. $60 each.” She then got my phone number, and while we talked, said “I want to handle them, because for $60 they should be really tame. I found some other love birds that were only $40 and they were really tame. But I want to look at your birds too.”
I was going to bring the birds to her house today, but you know what? I am just going to tell her I found someone willing to pay the full price, and she should to with the cheaper birds. Oy!
If you were not trying to find a good home for them, I would say that you could probably sell them to her for $60 each or all three for just $210.
Windy, maybe you can help me understand CL a little better. There are phrases I see on virtually every ad, and I just don’t understand them.
“Serious Inquiries Only”….is there really such a problem with overly jovial people responding to CL ads? I mean, I understand it might be hard to converse with someone if they won’t stop laughing over the phone, but I don’t see why someone needs to be somber just to purchase a used end table.
“No Spammers”…Really? REALLY? Is the key to counteracting junk mail really as simple as say “Hey, don’t send me junkmail”? And how is it that only those on CL are aware of this amazing loophole in the junk mail vortex?
The “serious inquries only” thing has puzzled me in the past, I’ve never been so bored that I would exchange emails with a total stranger while pretending an interest in a slightly used freezer, but since the Internet exists there are probably a ton of people who think that sounds like a good way to spend a Saturday night.
I think that if you are Sparkyish enough to use your actual e-mail address on CraigsList when there are so many free e-mail services around, then you deserve to have an inbox filled with ads that question your virility, stamina, and proportions.
Well, the current evidence is that people using CL are just convinced, absolutely certain that there are tens of thousands of actual, real, people waiting about for each and every posting. And, it is those people who then connect spam to a given post. Being literate and conscientious people, they, of course, obey instructions given in ads.
“Bots? Watz ‘bots’? Are you not paying attention? I.Wrote.It.Down! So!Do!It! Really, the nerve of people!”
My father-in-law has been convinced by some of his tinfoil hat wearing co-workers that there are super computers out there on the internet that just try every IP address ever second to see when a computer is online. If you don’t have your computer locked down tighter than scrooge’s money bin, they’ll hack your system and upload all of the scariest viruses into your computer and have stolen your identity.
As such his computer is left off when he isn’t using it as a security measure. He trusts all the software provided by his ISP, AT&T implicitly and makes sure it’s always running. Similarly all the changes that software has made to internet explorer are left in place, and on and on.
It’s fun to work on his computer.
It’s like those stickers at the Post Office that say “Don’t Crush”. I keep wanting to ask if they have stickers (or people who ask) that say “Please crush this package”?
Please don’t crush the postal workers. They get cranky and they have firearms.
Sadly, having done many, many transactions (and thus dealt with even more inquiries regarding the items) on eBay, Kijiji, CL and local fora, I can tell you all with absolute confidence that almost every last qualifier by experienced sellers really is necessary. It doesn’t help very much, because it assumes everyone actually reads them, but it gives you something to point to when people ask questions already answered in the ad or have an issue with something you’ve already explained.
Serious inquiries only: There are a lot of people who tend to impulse buy, only to realize they either don’t need or can’t afford it, and end up backing out of the deal with some lame excuse, wasting your time and possibly making you pass over more serious inquiries because they had priority, as is only fair. Then when you go back to those more serious inquiries some of them have often found someone else selling the same thing already.
No lowballs: You sell something for $100, which you feel is more than fair given its regular retail price, age, and condition. Someone goes and offers you $30. It happens way too often. Those offers go straight to the round file without a response.
No spam: Okay, this one is pretty useless. It isn’t like someone seeing your ad with the intention of responding with some nice creamy spam is going to read this missive, pout and say, “Aww, darn.”
Specifying acceptable payment methods: This is mainly to try and thwart 419 scammers by specifically excluding wire transfers as methods of payment you accept.
But… but… I just inherited a lavish sum, but the president took it, so I need you to wire me $100,000 to bribe him to give it to me! I’ll send you 50%!
help me
——————————————————————————————–
looking to get a job where I can snark all day and not miss out on all the fun, help anyone.
I recently read of someone looking to hire someone to make fun of Craigslist ads 40 hours a week. Unfortunately the job location is on a tiny little spit of land half a mile square right in the middle of the Aegean sea where the only things that grow are turnips and corpse flowers. And you’d be connecting over dialup. But it pays $100k a year. But there’s only one store to spend it in, and all they sell are turnips and air freshener.
Corpse flower: official borough flower of the Bronx, 1939 – 2000. What?!?
(Totally not making this up. It was supplanted in 2000 by the day lily.)
Shouldn’t that have been the state flower for New Jersey?
OT: A Google search for Astrognash yields interesting results. Apparently I was a minor source or contributor to a PDF on mice. I am, of course, working under the assumption that I am the only Astrognash on the web, an assumption supported by the amazingly relevant results.
Perhaps Google’s “sounds like” filter included results from a sci-fi fetish pr0n star named Astrogash.
Dear Friends, today has been the last day of my vacation, so I am turning in early. I will henceforth only be snarking in the am, and at lunch time, and then after most of you have gone to be. 8)
CJ, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Vermont!
Windy, I’m going to be now. Just watch me. See you in the am. Have fun back at work!