YSaC, Vol. 894: Crazy for you …
can u hide me for a few days – m4w – 23
hey im 5’5 165lbs black…i have a crazy gf im trying to get rid off…i just need to find a place to be till i move…im going out of state…not looking for sex but thats koo if thats what u want…im a koo guy i have pics to exchange…not into guys just ladie friends …i dont like drama or want any so if u can help hit me up…subject(help)…plz be serious cause i am…im 420 and a light drinker
Okay, look … we’ve all been there. We’ve all had to hide from crazy exes, or had them hide from us. (Dave, if you’re reading, I’m sorry about that incident with the ferret, caulk gun, and glitter, and I hope the swelling has gone down. Call me?)
I’ve usually found that the best way to deal with that situation is to avoid drama by hiding out in the house of some other woman who you may or may not be having sex with. That way you can completely avoid any additional drama. (Becky, I’m sorry about that incident with the ferret, caulk gun, and Dave, and I hope you’re healing. Call me?)
Thanks, Lara!
I was willing to help until I learned he was 420. I mean, seriously, who wants to deal with someone that old.
Look on the bright side, at 420, he’s probably not capable of following though on the sex promise.
Hey, I had a mentor that old, and he was great.
Well, excepting that he doesn’t understand what it is to bring balance to something.
Woops.
Three feet tall and green he was, too.
Mmmm, fail chemistry, I did. Balance chemical equations, I could not.
But he’s koo. And that goes a long way.
***Tilts head, nods in direction of clothes hamper***
And to the Lllamanun (BBUH), Dave’s not here.
In fact, he’s not just koo; he’s kookoo.
For Cocoa Puffs?
No, Coco puffs.
Cheech and Chong reference FTW, quizzical puppy.
Thanks! I get to use them in conversation so rarely.
He is an asshat koo koo ka k’joob
Nothing says, “no drama” like hiding from one’s crazy ex in the home of a complete stranger while un-subtly hinting about sex with that stranger. But if you want to be his ladie friend, that’s koo.
I adored you just for your name :-p
Don’t forget that he’ll also be drinking whatever alcohol that’s laying around while fighting his one man battle against pot being illegal.
A class act!
Lower class.
Remedial class?
Whatever he is, he’s a pain in the class.
Probably he needs to cut back on the herb a bit, or be a bit more decisive on whether he’s “not into guys” but he’s coo with the laddies.
I love that a simple letter gnome completely reverses Sparky’s intentions :-p (even though it wasn’t Sparkies original letter gnoming… hehe.)
Spelling. It matters. 😀
Why…if I’m hiding you “for a few days” … do I need to know that you’re 420 and a light drinker and that you’re 5’5″ and 165 with nice pics to share to only women? How about Kanye… that if you’re hiding in my house, you abide by MY rules and lay off the weed and Hennessy and keep the instrument that is the cause of your current drama situation zipped up in your pants.
Thanks, mudsy, for clearing up what “420” meant…whew…I was about to have to ask and this on my first day back. How embarass-kink.
*waves to everyone* Hi!!
But I bet you know what Rule #34 is. Hehe…
Welcome back CJ. Happy NY to you! (What? I often tell people Happy New York this time of year)
Well, Mudsy, we are happier here now that the snow is melting.
*waves back to CJ*
Mudsy, dontcha know that offering pics is the best way to entice the ladies to give you a place to hide for a few days? See, the ones who are koo enough to want a little somethin’ somethin’ in exchange for a hiding place also want to make sure they are getting value for their drama-free sanctuary.
(Is it just me or is this sounding worse on every reading?)
Bacontini doesn’t offer pics and, as we all know, he’s José Suavé with the laydeezs.
I can’t for the life of me figure out how Sparky could have gotten himself into such a pickle that he needs to hide out.
Mudsy, the last place he hid his pickle is what did him in.
Totally using “hide the pickle” as a euphemism now.
It’s probably a Baby Gherkin.
It’s not just you, Moira..definitely not just you.
*facepalm*
Why is it that people who claim to not want drama, end up being the biggest instigators of drama? No… don’t tell me. My soul can’t take much more.
Oh, that’s simple…
They’re Sparkies and therefore both not responsible for their own behavior and clueless about the results of such behavior.
Hey, if everyone were just koo, there’d never be no drama, right? It’s all good. Be koo.
Do you think there are people who actually want drama?
“I’d like to be your roommate for the short term. I’m not hiding from an ex or on the lam or anything, so I’m sort of bored, and I’m hoping you can bring some drama. Hit me up.”
Yes, I worked for a boss once who liked drama. Perhaps she didn’t engender it consciously but if there were not drama, she would get bored and create it.
Aside from that, she was one of the best bosses I ever had.
My original reply was five-oh-twoed, but like Moira said, yes Isaac,
there is a Santa Claussome folks like drama.My daughter is one of those people. Even her brother avoids her because of the drama. While it hurt me deeply when she ran away, I soon came to see how much better things were. Alain stopped hiding in his room, and became social again. Alexia and I talk now, and have a friendship, but it’s not really close because I don’t want the made-up drama.
I had a friend in high school that brought way more drama into my life than I wanted… *ponders a way to tell the story in one paragraph* We were pretty much only friends because she was dating my boyfriend’s twin brother. She ran away from home on the other side of the country to be with him, but then had nowhere to live because their mom wouldn’t let her live with them, so she lived with me for a while (I honestly don’t remember how long… maybe a couple months?). Boyfriends lived a 20 minute drive away, no good public transportation, etc. She got a job so she could buy clothes (brought almost nothing with her), eat out, help with gas, maybe find her own place, etc. The three particular instances I remember are: She gave me $10 for gas, and wouldn’t talk to me for a couple days because I put the cash in my wallet and used my debit card to fill the tank; I was getting tired of hanging out with her so I went up and visited my boyfriend without taking her to see hers; and she made out with my (male) best friend and told us all that he forced her to do it. (Best Friend had a habit of lying, so I believed her until he showed me printouts of IM conversations proving his story. Doesn’t make him toooo much better, but there’s still more to the story.) *sigh* Sometimes I wonder why I put up a mental block hiding most of my high school memories, and then I remember adventures like her. She still semi-stalks my best friend, even though he’s moved to a different state and is married.
(Holy Hannah, that ended up longer than I planned. You’re welcome for eating a few moments of your time with almost-decade-old drama….)
I have a good friend from jr high/high school who was conditioned from a young age to create drama because it got her positive attention from people, in contrast to the negative attention that she got from her mother (no father in picture). Fortunately, once she was able to leave home and gain perspective, she became a lot less needing and inducing of drama. She has a healthy relationship with her husband, and has never and never will let her mother see her child. It’s kind of nice to see someone break a destructive cycle basically by force of will.
I’m so glad your friend broke that cycle, Lola! Such a terribly difficult environment to be brought up in…
I’m pretty impressed, too. She still has a few issues, and there was a while where we weren’t in touch because she was working through things, but I’m really happy to be in touch now and know that she … made it through to the other side, so to speak.
Windrose, I know a few people (not with that close of a relationship, however, which makes things easier for me) who I have learned to choose to keep at a bit of a distance in order to maintain sanity and a separate existence.
Finally, de Bacontini find de kindered soul! Bacontini is de 550, he is de 420. Bacontini is here for de ladies, he is here for de ladies! Though de koo guy seems to be excluding de men too. Must not be enough koo to go around. Bacontini understand dat. While dere is always plenty of de Bacontini, he realize dat some have trouble providing enough of demselves to others.
Bacontini tink dey should hang out! Since he don’t like de drama either, maybe we take in de action/explosion flick?
Bacontini not sure what ‘koo’ is, maybe de noise de baby make? But Bacontini accepting of most tings. Just maybe not make de kooing sound at de movies, is rude.
As always, Ladies, Bacontini is here for you, as he is for everyone… but mostly you, Ladies.
Got any pics to exchange? Something with some SIZZLE in them!
Bacontini do some modeling in his youth. Dis is from de center spread of de Meat Liquor Monthly.
Look at how skinny I was!
Oh my god. That just caused the first peeing in my pants of the new year. What a HOT slab of man meat!!!
I’m on a new diet, Bacontini! No fair teasing like that!
Ahahahaha, I love that it loaded one line at a time… Just like old-school internet…. photo spreads.
At least the pic wasn’t from “Meat Licker Monthly.” Spelling truly does matter. 😀
Say, does Bacontini like gladiator movies?
I think his favorite movie is Shaft (shut yo’ mouth).
The real question is, was that an Airplane! reference?
Isn’t this just an update of “The Pina Colada Song” for the new millennium?
Guy places ad trying to get away from crazy girlfriend. Crazy girlfriend answers ad trying to find a replacement for fleeing boyfriend. They meet at a bar called O’Malleys. She get pissed that he put an ad in craigslist to dump her. She pulls a small pistol out of her purse. He pulls an even bigger pistol out of his sweatpants. There is a prolonged Tarantino moment where they both size up the moment, trying to figure out if they can get a shot off before the other one shoots. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and the tension escalates even further. Ironically, the “Pina Colada Song” is playing on the jukebox. Everyone dies.
Maybe not…
Hold on, Bianchi, while I settle in with a very dry martini to await the ending…
*as the black and white images flicker on the big screen*
Bianchi: That was a great story, Honey Bunny!!!
All we needed was Samuel L. Jackson there to talk her down off the IHOP table.
Yeah, that song makes me homicidal, too.
What?
Wait, when is Quentin going to walk into Scene to be his own McGuffin?
Is Cheech Marin the bartender?
Is this going to end with slo-mo bullets and gallons of blood flying to just pan around to Bruce Willis?
How will Robbie Rodriguez get Antonio Banderas into this scene in the least explicable and most plot-jarring way?
Don’t forget about Samuel L. Jackson. He’s in everything these days.
1) At 1:55
2) No, but George Lopez is.
3) Why yes, yes it is.
4) By downloading him off of Mediafire and then printing him out.
Apropos of nothing, last night, I dreamt that our comments ended up as the basis of a grammar textbook. I was called upon to sit in on a class and when I opened the book to see what was being taught, the most recent lesson featured a large chunk of Mindfeld’s story about Crete’s zombie grandma.
If I was the instructor I think we’re all in trouble.
Upon showing him this site, my English teacher has actually said he’s considering working it into grammar lessons next semester.
Ain’t that somethen……..
Did you admit you post here, too, Birthday Boy?
No, but if he’s reading regularly, he may know now.
There’s a reader in Arizona who brought one of the ads into her college writing class. I don’t remember which ad it was. I’ll see if I can rustle her out of the bushes to talk about it.
So I’ve used several ads, several times in my English 101 courses (at unnamed university located in Arizona, possibly including the word “of” in the name, not that I told you that, though).
I used “I can has vampire” (forgot which # that was) for a proofreading exercise: each student had a copy of the ad – they first proofread it on their own, then got together with a partner to share, and see if someone else noticed anything they hadn’t, and then we went over the whole ad together on the overhead, to see EVERYTHING that was wrong in it – the point was to practice proofreading, as well as (ESPECIALLY) to identify what sorts of mistakes one would have a personal tendency to overlook, so they knew to be more aware of those as they wrote and edited. This also had an excellent “don’t be that guy” tack to it, as well.
I’ve also used a selection of YSaC ads + selections from Passive Aggressive Notes + some from Misused Quotation Marks for a peer review exercise (I believe the Bratz Fridge and that bizarrely capitalized ad for housekeeping (oh, let me go hunt down those ##s) were my choices from YSaC): the point was to take a randomly found writing sample, to assess what the author was TRYING to do, identify what techniques or strategies they were using, and then assess whether those techniques were effective for achieving their purpose, or not – and if not, what they could have done better. The point is to show that one doesn’t have to necessarily agree with the point their peer review partner is trying to make, the task is simply to see how they could get their point across more clearly.
Aha! Links:
Bratz Fridge: http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4930
Dubious Housekeeping (aka “WOOD WORK BIG TIME”): http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3642
“I Can Has Vampire?” http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=1705
They’re both really fun ways to spend a Friday, and to make students actually care about grammar and expression. Common reaction? “Miss, did someone actually post this on Craigslist? For reals?”
🙂
{EDIT TO ADD- I think other instructors of English 101 are using this same packet of “Bad Writing to Analyze” I converted into a PDF to post on my class webpage, so it’s highly likely that vast numbers of impressionable freshmen have been made to read about a Bratz fridge. }
thecarie, congratulations.
I actually burst out laughing at work for the first time in over a year at “vast numbers of impressionable freshmen have been made to read about a Bratz fridge.”
I usually manage to keep my reactions to a snort or, at most, a choked snicker.
Hey, you doused her with Rid, you deal with it, Sparky. Isn’t it just shampoo? Try some warm water.
If she doesn’t have lice, that’s a pretty insulting thing to do and I can understand why she might act a little crazy.
And if there’s a chance that you need Rid yourself, you most definitely cannot stay at my house, Sparks!
He either has lice or mosquitoes. He can’t decide whether he wants Rid or Off.
Maybe he should just get a poncho instead.
Ewww. Good luck with him trying to wrestle it out of the moose’s cold, dead hands.
Thank you, Mudsy. The poncho is not for Sparkys. *growls*
Right right LRC. Taco can be so over the top crazy some days. *chuckle*
Tacooo coo ka’choo
Suspect he lives in an apartment, and the people downstairs were not happy about trying to dispose of the gf by burying in his ‘basement’ . . .
Everyone around Spark’ would probably like a long vacation from “drama” too, is my guess.
I agree with Koo Guy – this is no drama. This situation has “farce” written all over it. The slamming doors! The mistaken identities! The hiding! The wacky catch-phrase (“It’s koo! It’s koo!”)!
*furiously scribbles notes to pitch an updated version of “3’s Company” to the heads of ABC, NBC, CBS, and FX*
You should probably call the BBC, instead, this would be much better if it were British.
And, you could actually submit the pitch in English, and not Cliff’sNotes h’wood-speak.
I’m very disappointed with this ad. When I started reading, I was about ready to call him up, thinking I’d love to harbor some suave criminal on the run from the FBI but he’s really misunderstood and happens to be a master at every kind of weapon.
And then I scrolled down.
And now I’m seriously thinking about unsubscribing to Netflix.
The First Monday of The New Year! Now we’re rolling. It’s koo, peeps. Just pretend you’re hiding from a crazy ex today, and the time will go by quickly.
Wow – got a pair of 502 bad gateways for the first time ever today. I’m a little slow, I guess.
(One on FF and one on IE, btw.)
How do you like my new Gravatar, people?
Gee, Isaac, it looks just like the old one to me. 8/
You live on the edge Isaac. What did you do? Change the color scheme? You trend setter!
*tilts head*
Your hair’s different?
I fixed the mustache / beard so it looks more like the real one that grows out of my face. Unlike my old gravatar, I can’t get my mustache to join up with my beard.
Oh, of course! It does look much more like you, now.
*smiles, nods, backs away slowly*
Wish I could say that about my eyebrows…………
If that means that your eyebrows can join up with your beard, then my dad is very jealous. He wants to be able to have his eyebrows long enough to twist up-and-out in a 60’s-evil-villain way…
Ah, C’est la vie – those what got ’em don’t want ’em and those that want ’em don’t got ’em……
I’m just waiting ’till I get a mustache enough that I can put on glasses and run around pretending to be John Lennon. I’m told I have the nose for it.
Don’t feel bad. I’ve been told I have a face for radio.
Is it the eyebrow being tilted?
That’s supercillious* <G>
___________________________________
*Thanks to Anu at AWAD last week for the word for flexing one eyebrow.
Where did that definition come from? I only see definitions as “haughty, disdainful” but not the act of raising one eyebrow…
*Supercillious’ at EB*
From this “listing” at A Word A Day.
Silly Capn, that’s just from the etymology :-p
Supersillyous Capn.
I can raise one eyebrow, too.
Prove it.
I got it! You got new sandals didn’t you?!
I thought it was a new rope belt?
Glasses?
*shrug*
I never was any good at spot-the-differences.
Obviously he ditched his bad habits for some made of higher quality thread.
*stage whisper* Psst, guys! Isaac’s obviously been hitting the Rogaine so be nice and pretend it’s working.
Christina: Your new avvie looks like a guy with clams for beards…. It’s a bit creepy :-p
The clammy shoulder knees are rather concerning too.
They’re demonic duckfish things. Isaac inspired me to change my stale avatar.
I don’t think those can be anything but demonic.
It’s koo, Isaac. Very koo.
But is it 420 friendly?
I submit that there is no crazy gf. Koo guy is really a genius, using a unique approach to the overdone personals ad.
If by “genius” you mean “otherwise unable to get unsuspecting women by telling anything that remotely resembles the truth,” then I think you’re right.
Genius, eccentric, psychotic, pathetic. You say potato, I say potato.
Hmm, I guess that is one of those phrases that works better orally than in writing, huh?
**heehee**
You said “potato”.
You thought I was going somewhere else with that, didn’t you?
[Off topic of wastrel doper squtters; but on topic for drama] Watched the very excellent drama, “My Boy Jack” last night.
Quite a good bit of cine.
David Haig is an excelent Rudtard Kipling. He proves to be incredibly adept as a screenwriter as well.
The casting of Dan Radcliffe as John Kipling was perfect, too. Kim Cattrall is an excellent Carrie Kipling.
Best part–it’s a slice of very real life in the classic sense of tragedy, no happy ending, just the reality of life. Honest and pure and yet still a story worth telling.
I’m now hoping that Haig might scribble up a tale or two of RK’s time in Vermont; or of going off to what would become South Africa.
I watched The Human Centipede! I wouldn’t consider it to be a very excellent drama. In fact I’m rather disturbed that they’re making a sequel to be released this year. Tom Six is twisted!
My daughter JUST watched that two nights ago. Said it was brain bleach worthy.
WHY??? What would possess you to watch that?!
Is that Rudyards “special” brother?
And whose agent sold them on the idea of having their mouth pasted to someone’s ass for a month as a viable way of breaking into the film industry? Or was the money good enough that this dude will never have to work again? Sign me up for that one. I think 3.5 mil would buy me a shitload (Why yes, I did go directly there.) of Scope.
Dang, I meant to edit that, then something shiny caught my eye. 8)
Is it the Scope? Who’s sponsoring this site again? Mentadent?
*cues drumroll, cues search lights, cues fanfare*
Announcing the WINNERS of the 2010 Fourth Quarter Don’t Suck-Off!
First Place: CAMILLE! With 7 solo box entries! Amazing!
Second Place: HAMCAN! With 5 solo, 3 group, and 1 honorary. Superb!
Third Place: MINDFIELD! With 4 solo, 4 group, and 1 honoray. Impressive!
Fourth Place: MANDAB! With 5 solos and 1 group. Way to score!
Tune in tomorrow to discover the HIGH SCORE COMMENTOR OF 2010!
Keep those comments coming, witty people, 2011 has just begun.
Whoa! Most quarters I don’t place at all.
It’s a dog thing 🙂
Congrats snarkers!
Sigh….I hate being so busy at work I don’t have time to snark…
*wanders off to sulk in corner*
Bummer CJ! You should consider getting a government job…….
CoffDrop, you need to smile when you say things like that. Otherwise I may have to edit you.
*polishes 20 year pin for County Government Employment*
Seconded…
This Just In: Happy Birthday, Astrognash! All the best for you in the coming year!
Ditto above, with suitable pyrotechics and food & drink.
Happy Birthday, Master Astro!
Happy Birthday indeed!
Happy birthday, Astro!
Happy Birthday, Astro. For your gift, I got you your very own Mr. Winkey. Enjoy.
He already has his very own Mr. Winkey, except when I’m busy hiding out with my binoculars in
yoursomeone else’s bushes.Teehee.
Happy birthday! Can you drive now?
Not yet. Due to (my ineptitude at) scheduling, I won’t be taking Driver’s Ed classes until this summer.
I didn’t get my license until the year after I was eligible. Failed the test the first try. Practiced for ages and got it the second time. At the time it was embarrassing, now it’s “meh.” Eventually it won’t matter.
A birthday poem for you, Astrognash:
A Birthday Workout
Hike across green Ireland;
Bike the USA;
Backpack through New Zealand,
But don’t call it a day…
Do yoga in lovely Paris;
Jump rope in Katmandu;
Avoid Italian pasta,
(Well, maybe taste, but don’t you chew!)
Climb atop Mt. Everest;
Do aerobics on China’s Wall;
Lift weights on Mexican Beaches;
And honey, that’s not all…
Shake your booty with native dances
In Fiji and Bora Bora;
Move your body and exercise
Like you’ve never done befora.
Okay; that’s good; you’re finished;
Now you can take a break;
You’ve finally burned enough calories
To have your birthday cake!
By Joanna Fuchs
Happy Birthday
JailbaitAstro!Wow, thanks for the great birthday wishes everyone!
Have another Happy Birthday, birthday boy!
Happy birthday from here too!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASTRO!! Oh…I guess it’s Happy Belated Birthday now, isn’t it?
Happy Birthday, Astro! Sorry I missed the actual day. Here, I got you a poncho just like mine. 😀
I think we’re all underestimating Sparky. That’s a really Zen statement. We all need a place to be until we are ready to be somewhere else. Really deep.
He must have come up with it at 4:20.
Since I came in on this late (family emergency out of state drew me away until this late hour today) I will just say yay for this getting on. I wish I had been here for Bacontini though, our forbidden love has been quiet lately. I would hide you in my house oh so sexy Bacontini
Oh, guess I better get my business done. HamCan, put down that puppy! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Virginia Colony!