YSaC, Vol. 893: Plagiarism is such sweet sorrow.
Want: 1 poem, + explaination.
My child need a good poem for school Monday! He had to do this as a HOMEWORK assignment, but thought he would rather play his new PS3, and as I would never want to dissapoint him, I want to get him this poem for a late christmas present. I am a single mother, so I always feel I’ve gotta pamper him, as I did the bad sin of sex before marriage, and the father was never in the picture. So, I must deal with the HELL God has given me. But my son should not suffer, as he is already failing 9th grade english and I couldn’t stand to see God take such vengance on him as to lose this C- he has gotten. I know this may be an odd request, but I must tell you that you would be doing a great service for me, and I may even be will ing to pay you. Must be suitable for class, and earn him an A. If you already used it for yourself don’t bother, I don’t want him plagerizing. Be sure to include it in email, use one up above… Have a very godly time, Kathy XXXXXX
It’s the holidays, so everyone’s feeling charitable. I’m sure we can come up with some way to help our little sinner and her son, right? Here, I’ll start:
Entitled child
Mom doesn’t understand what
Plagiarism is.
With a C minus
How can your son fail English?
That’s unpossible.
Thanks for the ad, David!
Alas, poor
SparklesKathy! I knew her, Horatio, a lady of infinitefailure, of most excellent ignorance. She hath brought us such snark
near a thousand times, and how abhorr’d in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.
C minus. C minus. All this to save a C minus. If she made him do his homework regularly, if she sat with him while he did it, and used the PS3 as a reward for a job well done, we might see that C minus rise to a C plus or higher! I’ll be sobbing in the corner over here.
Academic (wild burro) guess, is that this was assigned long ago as a term-end, or similar, “large” project and has a significant impact upon the final grade.
Taking a zero to that extant 64-65 would seem to equal summer school.
I strongly suggest you have your boy do his own work. But, here is a poem for you mommy:
No one could prepare her
For what she had to see
The child she bore, in shackles
That harsh reality
She sat there staring straight ahead
her eyes glazed, fighting tears
Then focused on the one she loved
and tried to calm his fears
How did it come to this?
Was repeatedly asked
Her efforts came much too late
She failed the parent test
“She did the best she could”
recoiled, she fired back
“he was too much to handle alone”
feeling constantly under attack
Things would be done differently
if the choice would arise again,
She’d avoid making the mistakes
that caused much suffering and pain
A stronger, wiser person
that mother is today
she asks a lot of questions
and won’t be led astray
Oops! Above poem by Toni Kinney
bad parenting fail
you suck at more than craigslist
playstation 3 rocks
Teach your son this, Kath:
Choices have consequences.
Do homework, or fail.
As an educator: adore, adore, adore.
Except in my “enlightened” school district where teachers aren’t allowed to fail students under any circumstance because it could be “emotionally damaging” for the student. No mention of the physical damage the teachers suffer from repeatedly banging their heads against their desks…I think Kathy and little hellboy should consider relocating!
Parents pressure School Board, School Board caves, Students and Teachers suffer. How can anyone who is sane think this is a good thing?
Children suffer from not being slaves to the grades? Apparently you have never been a child.
Children suffer from not learning anything in school, let alone consequences for their actions…. What’s next, you can’t be fired from your job if you smoke pot all day and never show up sober? (Oh wait, that’s a union…. nevermind then…..) (My dad was forced to be part of the teachers union when he taught public school, and he Hated It.)
Tailoring educational needs vs. standardized curriculum is vastly different from mandating that no child gets his feelings hurt because he failed a test through his own lack of preparation. School bored me, so yes, I did the minimum required to pass. But had there been similar coddling when I was a kid, I wouldn’t be fit to post a comment here, let alone be a productive member of society.
Children suffer from not being taught personal responsibility. And then their lack of responsibility as adults ends up making everyone around them suffer, too.
I could argue either way on grading. On the one hand, it can be a valuable tool for measuring one’s progress. On the other hand, it should never be the only tool. (I specifically recall a test on Civil War history that I failed – not because I didn’t know the material backward and forward but because the directions were written in such a way as to be ambiguous, leading me to select the wrong choice from each of the three possible. And the teacher wouldn’t let me re-test when I explained WHY I’d chosen the answers I did.)
Also, dealing with failure is one of the big, important lessons in life. Kids need to be allowed to make mistakes and, yes, to fail occasionally.
Hey Frankie, you missed the point! Thanks, Snarkers, for clearing that up for him. And Possibly, Mr. T, you have never been an adult.
Was a simple calculus in my house, growing up: slave to grades or wage slave.
Sadly, not all of that worked out, but, at least I have some Latin.
(And, that I know that latter is from a slander of John Addams’ dissolute son by Thomas Jefferson, to wit, “[H]is latin is poor, and he has no Greek at all.”
Well, Frankie Lee and Judas Priest,
They were the best of friends.
So when Frankie Lee needed a poem one day,
Judas quickly pulled out a sheaf of them.
And attached them to an email.
Just above the plotted plain.
Saying, “take your pick, Frankie boy,
My loss will be your gain.”
Well, Frankie Lee he sat right down,
And put his fingers to his chin.
But with the cold eyes of Judas on him,
His head began to spin.
“Would you please not stare at me like that,” he said,
It’s just my C minus pride.
But sometimes a freshman must be alone,
and I don’t want to plagiarize.”
Go ahead and use that one, buddy. No one listens to John Wesley Harding. As far as an explanation goes, though, you’re on your own.
No one listens to JWH? It’s his eighth-or-so best album! (Sorry for the Dylan-corey).
Roses are red,
My PS3’s swell.
Mom bought me this poem
To save me from Hell.
HA! Send that one!
I get the feeling little Johnny Hellspawn is reminded every day how bad she would have liked to have held onto that birth control pill between her knees. But, alas, then it was on like, say, is “Donkey Kong” a PS3 title?
Trade me PS3
I will give you a poem
Gift of the Magi, beeyotch!
I need to go to remedial haiku math, it seems.
I don’t think I care, that beeyotch is so well placed in the poem
Indeed. It’s like a little bonus… a cookie wafer on your sundae, if you will.
I believe that is known on the street as Phat Urban Haiku, or Phuku.
I can’t get this to nest right but …
I keep trying to write a poem for Kathy but they all come out as love bonnets to Smedley. “Gift of the Magi, Beeyotch”! Priceless.
And I will place the love bonnet next to my Cubs hat, in a place of reverence, to be admired by one and all.
Sonnet, dammit. Sonnet.
Effing blackberry.
But you will no doubt look smashing in your love bonnet, good Sir.
Sniff, I used to love you Smedley, now how can I?
You can make a love bonnet, a brooch, a pterodactyl…
Infatuation, I haz it.
Imma let you finish, Moira, but Airplane is one of the best movies of all time. Of all time!
kelli, could you possibly be
***gasp!***
a White Sux fan?
Smedley, I have no interest in any color Sux, but I am a White Sox fan, born and bred. When was the last time the Cubs won the World Series?
I am so very sorry to hear that. Do your parents know?
**gasps loudly**
kelli, how could you?
Smedley, my husband, who is from Chicago, has a secondhand man crush on you for this thread.
Grammatically speaking, you may have just called Smedley your husband from Chicago.
I could be wrong, though.
So, this is a mercy mission. Right.
‘Snick, snack, snuck
Doing my homework is bunk
I’d rather play my video games
Momma wants to suffer an entitled git
As punishment for her fleshly sin
I’d rather play my video games.’
I’ve decided that for payment, Kathy, you need to go to parenting classes.
Kathy got a C- in her parenting class, but only because she bought her homework off craigslist.
Was conversing with some former and current squids, and was reminded of the custom that the first log book entry of the year is to be a work of art. I personally have seen limericks, tone poems and the like. I know I’m new here, and my kung fu isn’t the strongest, but perhaps we could have a blank page for the 1st and everybody try to be lyrical, or, failing that, haiku-ish. Just a query, I’ll go back to waxing this dudes car.
“Wax on… Wax…”
I like it! We could do it in the Fora, because I am pretty sure tomorrow’s post is in the hopper. But everyone is free to post poetically tomorrow in the comments, too.
Sounds awesome. I will try to ponder.
I keep trying to ponder but nothing happens!
(With apologies to the Brain and all the Stooges.)
There is a town near by called Ponder, TX. I try not to ponder about Texas much, but I’ll give it a try and post my lyrical musings tomorrow.
Count me in!
How about a literal work of art? I can doodle something!
Angst, regret, urgency to raise a child right.
Nice to hear from “Kathy” the 9th gr. student in need of a poem for Monday because she didn’t do her HOMEWORK. She’s a fine soap opera writer who realizes that “it takes a village of poets to raise a child.”
I kind of wonder if “Kathy” thinks Keats is on Craigslist. Also why isn’t “Kathy” coming out of the closet?
Oooo, good call, Indigo.
Yes, conniving kid scans better than desperate and stupid parent.
Occam’s razor.
I SOOOO want you to be right about this post, Indy.
I too, hope for this to be the “brilliance” of the child than the connivance of the mother.
The profile of the mother suggests indifference rather than hovering. Helicopter parents had a much different sort of declaritive habit.
That, and the Child, Sparky Kathysspawn, is what, 15?
Consider Motzart, or Alexander at 15.
Fifteen is young, impossibly young (except in malt whisky); yet fifteen year-olds have moved the world in their time.
Whether this is the work of the spawned or spawner, something tells me the world will move ere they do.
But, my outlook for new year, new decade, is much overshadowed by my own impending economic doom. Isolated and alone and with not much to do but persist in waking up every day and hoping for better is not the best sort of basis for my own life. It’s a rocky foundation for the indolent and deliberately disaffected to come demanding of my charity, too.
Bah, I need a North Malden Icelandic Saga or twain, and have but my imaginary life (and friends) on the intertubes in stead.
She must not have learned anything if she still has all those Xs after her name
I want to slap this woman silly for SO MANY reasons but mostly because she is a sanctimonious prat who has, in all probability, ruined a perfectly good kid.
And guess what, lady? God didn’t give you any kind of hell. You built it for yourself.
ACCOUNTABILITY, BITCH!
Love it Moira!!!!
I have sinned in mortal flesh a whole bunch of times and God still likes me from what I can tell. I don’t however have a) a child which I would love to have but am glad I can wait til I have a partner, b) a PS3 which I think is the real injustice here. Perhaps God is punishing me by denying me a gaming platform.
Oh for clarity, I sinned in mortal flesh with one person and very carefully monitored birth control.
Lara, thanks for clarifying, but really, if you harmed no one, including yourself, many partners would have been just fine. 8)
And the meaning of sin in Aramaic is simply to miss the target. Implying you have infinite chances to do over. 8)
Honestly, given the guy, one of him was enough. He was a total poophead. I would like to not miss next time so I don’t have to do a do over again. Thanks for the mental hugs though. It’s good to know I am not being judged.
I’m with Windy.
Minimize harm, maximize joy, treat others with respect and, if I miss the target, learn what I can and make amends when feasible.
Though I have to admit that I have been sufficiently dense that some lessons took longer to learn than others.
We only judge speeling, grammmar, and Punctuating! All else is just fun. 8)
[matt]Yes indeed. It’s people like this that put me in the mindset that all water (Both bottled and tap) should be spiked with contraceptive that works on both sexes. If you want to breed, you have to show a certain level of accountability and wisdom to be granted access to a supply of non-contraceptive water.
Granted there are numerous problems with such a system, but I’m really, really freaking tired of parents who should never have been allowed to have even a potted plant much less a child.[/matt]
*Starts the slow clap that, if movies have taught me anything, should soon turn into thunderous applause.*
TypoMagic for president!
**puts on TacoMagic/Bacontini 2012 t-shit**
I got this for an entirely different reason, but I guess I could use it to support a bid for presidency.
Only problem with that is that we have toubles enough keeping chlorine in the water . . .
Letting the PPB slide a bit is bad, but, a bit of boiling will solve that problem . . .
Just tell them that the contraceptive-water is polarized with antioxidants or has a positive spin for optimum hydration, or whatever excuse people give for buying over-priced water. We’ll all be rich and decrease the supply of future Sparkies.
Ooo, that’s a dilemma. Once we decrease the supply of future Sparkies, we won’t have anyone to buy our reverse-polarized manufactured spring water!
Couldn’t agree more, good sir. Seriously, you need a license to drive a car, get married, own a dog, and to go EFFING FISHING (!!!), but any fool can have a baby. Please excuse any weeping sounds you may hear coming from the north.
PS, So happy to be back! The Stools went away for the holidays but are home in time to ring in the new year. Yay.
So, we’re teaching this kid that he doesn’t have to take responsibility for his actions and if he screws up, mom will fix everything for him.
I hope someone slaps the snot out of me if I ever do that to my daughter.
I promise I will but I don’t think you would LadyHavoc considering you are currently inviting people to abuse you for it in a public forum.
As I went off to college, my folks said that they would know they had done a decent job of parenting if I could get into trouble and get myself right back out of it without them ever knowing about it.
I liked that yardstick. It can apply to SO MANY things.
I like that too Moira. I think I will adopt that myself.
My parents must have done a pretty decent job then. I only ever got nailed for about 1/3 of the stupid stuff I did when I lived in their house, and even less when I was on my own.
My motto pretty much was: “Fix the problem before anyone important finds out!”
And soon, Tron will be following in your footsteps. Er, scrape marks? Treads?
PS — Glad to hear you are not pregnant. 8)
It was a close thing. But my nipples remain wonderful.
I need an old priest and a young priest…
I hear a “Why the long face?” joke coming.
There’s a Charlie Robison song (if obscure) along those lines . . .
But, the allusion, if I remember right, is that one wants an old confessor to tell all one’s sins to, that will go with them, soon enough, to the grave. One then wants a young preacher who will have the fire of youth, the knowledge of youthful indisgression, and the zeal to encourage–in time–to prevent some part of those indiscretions.
Good Morning, and Happy New Year’s Eve, Snarkers! I have prepared a brunch for everyone. We have Coddled Eggs, Guilty Pleasure Hash Browns, Fresh Fruit of Our Loins, and Eternal Damnation Sweet Rolls. Plus the usual coffee slices and champagne punchity punch punch. Dig in!
Oh, and some Non-Plagiarized Dairy Creamer, just what I was looking for.
I got a kick start on my resolution to eat healthy, so I’ll just have some Moral Fiber-One.
Oh poop! My first pass through I thought it said Hash Brownies, not Hash Browns. Anyway, thanks for the lovely brunch Windy……..
If you’re having trouble with poop, you should probably have some of christina’s Moral Fiber-Ones. 😀
I’ll keep that enema mind EB – thanks…….
To PS3, or not to PS3: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The flings and peep shows of out of wedlock fornication,
Or to take T-shirt time instead of lovers,
And by opposing offend them? To blog: to tweet;
No more; and by a tweet to say we bent
The heart-ache, the thousand cotton socks
That flesh is heir to this spoiled brat
Devoutly to we wish to die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, that I’d used a condom;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have told off this spoiled boy,
Must give us pause: he has no respect
That makes calamity of my whole life;
For who would bare his ass to whips and scorns this time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the bad man from CPS,
The pangs of forbidden love, the law’s today,
The insolent child, welfare office spurns
That paycheck garnished, the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his payment make
With a bare bodkin? Who’s child did she bear,
To grunt and sweat under on O.R. light,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover’d father from whose born
No child support returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make bad parents of us all;
And thus the native hue of guilt
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great passion of the moment
With this regard their children turn awry,
And lose the name of discipline.–Soft you now!
The fair Sparkette! Nympho, in thy religion
Be all thy sins remember’d.
Lovely, Hammy.
And far better than Kath can recompense, even should she hit the lotto every day for a year and sign each ticket over to you.
A year or so back, the hubby bought a PS3. At the time and with money being tight then, I was angry about it. However, in the months following, I have come to find that it was actually quite a decent purchase. Between Netflix on Demand and BluRay capability, it’s a handy thing.
And for this latest holiday season, my sis got us the Move controllers. Now, I think I love the console.
Who knew that virtual Bocce could be so much fun!
And we haven’t even tried the Tron game yet. 😀
speaking of Tron, I saw it in 3-D IMAX this afternoon AND IT WAS AWESOME!!!
Loved the visuals, hated the music, couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Flynn turned into the big Lebowski.
Probably too much Dude in Mr Bridges any more. Was impressed in how little there was in the doppleganger character, though.
Still coping with the way I want to see more of Olivia Wilde; and it’s a battle against baseness to mean as an actress (and, no, I’m not using the gonadless “gender neutral” term “actor”).
You hate Daft Punk? I am sad now 🙁
*has been listening to the soundtrack for weeks*
I’m not buying it. I smell a troll. It’s all too deliberate and contrived.
Greg the Bunny?
Well done!
Thanks!
Little Johnny Hellspawn
Played his PS3
Mommy got her guilt on
Tried to save his C.
Mommy is an asshat
Doesn’t have a clue
Thinks her sin’s so bad that
There’s nothing she won’t do.
Oh, if she could ponder
How to best serve John
She would tell Boy Wonder
To get his HOMEWORK on.
Brilliant Andie! Worthy of Shelley Memorial Award nomination……
Many doors flung at Andie!
Amen to all. I, too, have “sinned in mortal flesh” and fully expect to have some ‘splainin to do. But I think the ‘splainin will be about making choices unworthy of the respect I should have for myself. Lara, my friend, I think your ‘splainin will be short.
And I, too, lack a PS3. Coincidence? I think not.
Oh heck, it’s barely past noon here and I’ve already sinned in mortal flesh today. Oh wait, I’m married, that doesn’t count. I did say “god dammit” when I woke up and saw that I slept past 10, that’s a sin, right?
Huh. So God has replaced his smiting and flooding and pillar-of-salt-ing vengeance with flunking 9th grade English vengeance? He’s really mellowed.
Well, there’s also denying us sinners PS3s. That one’s pretty biblical.
I never got a pony. 8(
On the bright side, you never had to clean up after a pony.
Dunno, I’m facing a purgatory of old testament sort of proportions as a result of this Second Depression. Kath Satinsget should count herself lucky if the worst that happens is that her spawn repeats 9th grade (again).
[OT gush. Wanted to just mention that I’m still in the land of Manda and Grampdaddy taking care of my Dad post surgery that didn’t go as planned. He is better and so am I. Go back to washington tomorrow night. Lurking with y’all, especially as snarktastic as you’ve been of late, has helped me cope in the dark moments. So thank you, Snarkers, for the needed laughs. Brace while I reward you all with this new door trebuchet I got from Santa.
P.S. @Manda: you will snerk to know that my effing blackberry wants to change your name to mania.
[still OT, but to follow Andies]
In case of need, there are “Trebuchet kits” out there (note that the window is titled “Have You Hurled Today?”).
[/ot]
*snerk* Mania?! Hahaha! Love it!
If I had known you were in town I would have bought you an adult beverage! Hope dad continues with a smooth recovery.
I’m sure you meant to say, “Occam’s Razor, Beeyotch.”
“Occams Razor, Bitch” would have fit. Beeyotch is a syllable too many.
Grrrawwwrrrr!!!! Sorry! Read the ad and my blood immediately boiled! This mother is an insult to parents and to good, capable, single parents everywhere.
Snark has been effectively killed. Give me a few and I’ll see if I can find it again.
You should hear the melt-down drama I’m getting for telling kiddo to pick up his own toys.
I’m such a mean mommy for not helping him, and it’s going to take a hundred hours.
You should hear my 13-year-old sister scream about not getting to watch TV. She’s a spoiled brat, and the worst part is that our parents never spoiled her, but she stilled turned out as if they had.
this work i present as my own was written by another,
but it’s okay, because its a gift from my mother.
you see, i don’t really need to try,
my mom will give me anything if i make her cry.
this poem was created just for me and never used before,
and so i think it deserves a really high score.
the illegal alien who sits next to me in class
has a better grade than me, he’s kicking my ass.
he couldn’t speak english at all last summer
now he passes the tests I can’t and its a real bummer.
but i still don’t have to try, you see,
because my mom is guilty for having me.
she’ll get me anything I want or need;
i’ll just play my PS3, its her job to make me succeed.
It’s really not fair letting those illegal aliens sit in on our classes, getting better grades than us. I mean really, like algebra is going to be so challenging to a kid who comes from a culture that mastered interstellar travel. I bet they learn calculus in kindergarten. And then their so rude, communicating with each other in that weird telepathic language when you know they totally speak English. We really need to build that border fence around the stratosphere.
Don’t get me started on the probing.
I really don’t want you to start probing anything.
My child needs a PS3 but she did her homework instead of
stealingliberating one. I need someone to give her one, she should not have to suffer because I spawned her by merging fleshy parts. Please send us your PS3, but make sure it hasn’t been played, I don’t want her to have anything second hand.Totally OT Survey: So many of us are Python Fans. How many have penguins on your tellys? If you have more than one telly, do you have a penguin for each one? Have any of the penguins on your tellys exploded?
Among my friends, probably here as well, and in my own household, I alone do not care for Python. I don’t hate it, but I don’t make an effort to watch it either.
As for the penguins, I have them trapped in a snow globe style soap dispenser in the bathroom. They spend all their time bobbing around on surfboards and I don’t think they are aware that they are my prisoners.
I used to have a (stuffed) penguin (liberated linnux promo) that resided on the cable box above the tv. Never ‘sploded, though. Had one too many xmas or NYE parties and said bird found a new home.
Hope it ‘sploded at the thief’s house (or flitted, demonic-raptor style, room to room afflicting them of MS beta-release products).
No, I’n not bitter, why does everybody keep askin’ that?
I have a flatscreen telly, so there isn’t much capable of sitting on top of it. I do have a machine that goes “ping!” though. Well, it makes a lot of other noises too, but it definitely says “ping!”
Is (was) it the most expensive one in the Hospital?
Helped retire a second-generation CAT installation in the hospital one county south; never could convince them to surplus the water-cooled CPU to me <sigh>
Would not have gone “Ping!” without adding some hardware, but would have looked cool with some case neon.
I’ve never put a penguin on the telly, but I have subjected elderly women to the comfy chair and fluffed pillows.
The Mother-in-law was subjected to the comfy chair repeatedly over the holidays. Mostly because it was either that, or the floor, or a chair with no arms.
We have Python running on our VPS, does that count? Also, we have penguins All Over Our House. I count 9 in the front room, and 14 if you include penguin ornaments on the Christmas tree. Maybe I’ll see if I can prop one of the stuffed ones on our flatscreen :-p
For those of you blessed with the issue of flat screens, they now have a number of nifty clip-on/clip behind shelves.
Though, I’ll admit to preferring an “invisible” shelf or “floating” glass shelf attached to the wall, in many of these situations.
But that could just be the designer in me. (The things one learns by having to do their own work in school.)
No penguins in our house. But then, I’m not a fan of MP so much as I am a fan of all of the talent.
I have multiple TVs (and a few Monty Python DVDs) but none of them have penguins on them. One has a fox beanie baby. The other has family photos.
The Grading (abridged)
by Edgar Almost Poet
Once upon a Craigslist dreary, while I browsed ads, weak and weary
Over many a quaint and spurious volume of misbegotten bores
While I noodled, neatly tapping, suddenly, a mother flapping
As of someone soundly snapping, snapping, for her son’s a chore
“Tis some plagiarizer,” I said, “looking for some copied lore —
For her son, and nothing more.”
Ah, if only she remembered what kids do in late December
As each piece of wrapping paper wrought its ghost upon the floor
Eagerly her son played Black Ops, revelling in war games non-stop
To his mother’s endless sorrow — sorrow for her son’s test score
For the rare and radiant A-plus the teacher would not award
And fail her son forevermore.
So the mother, sad, uncertain, weighted by her son’s great burden
Hatched a plan with stealth and cunning surely no one’s done before
So she posted, so I’m reading, and I felt it bore repeating,
“‘Tis some plagiarizer pleading for a page of copied lore —
Some cheap plagiarizer pleading for a page of copied lore;
That she is, and nothing more.”
But angrily, the urge grew stronger; I could hold it back no longer
“Kath,” I said, “You are not helping! I’m afraid I must implore;
You do your son no favours treating work not his like it’s not cheating!
Your son needs his education if he wants to open doors
To university or college, all they care about are scores;
SATs, bitch, nothing more.”
Gees! This sent chills down my spine. A most excellent rendition Mindfield. Only this and nothing more…….
Quoth the maven, “Hey, thanks, man!”
Damn! That should have said “To his mother’s endless sorrow” — a little gender confusion here. (Not like that! Not that there’s anything wrong with that…)
Bird seed! I got bird seed here! Bird seed for a wee edit! Yummy bird seed!
*slipping into her editor’s superhero costume*
I’ll save you, Smiley Pup! Quick, into a near-by editing booth. And, Done!
All in a day’s work for Windrose! Place the bird seed in the cup holder as before. Thanks!
You’ve saved me, Windrose! How can I ever repay you? Here, have some bird seed, and this disco wok I found!
Oooo, shiney!
I gotta say, as a mother of three and a woman of faith, this makes me want to scream. It terrifies me that her boy will be in the same dating pool as my daughters one day. If she thinks she’s in hell now, she should look up hostile dependency to see what she’s in for when he’s 40 and living in her house stealing from her purse and pawning her tv.
Pawning the TV will make it difficult for him to play with the new PlayStation 37 she will have given him for Chrismas.
I’m willing to bet, though, that your daughters will be sufficiently well raised that they’ll have the common sense and self-respect to walk away from a boy like this.
And though it took me a little while to figure things out and walk away from the one *I* ended up with, it was an interesting learning experience.
How is it that the boy will turn out to not be well-adjusted just because he’s playing on a PS3? It’s the mother’s fault for being irresponsible. I play video games, and I have no intention of living with my parents for the rest of me life. Too many rules over there.
NMN, if you are still confused…
Our point is that the mother is not holding *him* responsible for the work that he is supposed to do. We know that you are well adjusted. A good bit of that is due precisely to the fact that you are held to rules.
See? It’s not about the playing. It’s about the not-working.
From the tone of the posting, it appears that the son is being raised to have no respect for the mother, little respect for himself, and no appreciation of boundaries or the necessity of work.
I Have No Words.
….I guess that would make it really hard for me to write a poem + explanation for someone who may be will ing to pay me.
Well, as it gets to be 1600, I must attende to getting charcoal lit, before the light fades, the better to get my NYE repast cooking.
Adieu, adieu, mes amies, et moi, loin*
______________________
*Had to, menu tonight includes the pork tenderloin my sis gave me for xmas <G>
Au revoir jusqu’au capitaine de l’année prochaine – bon appétit………
¿Que como? The light may have passed day into night, but it is still 2010 here in Central Time <G>
I just love the part where Kathy says having her son is HELL.
Hey Lou! What have you been up to? 8) Yeah, I was a little confused by the fact that she will do ANYTHING for the kid but living with him is hell. There is so much wrong in that, and you have to remember to carry the stupid before getting the catulator to work correctly.
“Parenting – you’re doing it wrong.”
Back again once more–ah, j’retour plus uns, I guess to follow the previous meta.
For the nonce, I am rich beyond avarice. Pork loin with roast-in-the-husk corn, and a baked potato.
Ok, would have been better to have made roast new potato gratìn–but, I was given russets.
Ok, could have made my roast corn and mushroom in sour cream; but, no mushrooms or sour cream in the house.
Even the foccasia bread looked funny, the load had a hole in the middle–still tasted fine.
Even the catulator approved. When posed the question, he was willing to stop face-washing long enough to ponder a merciful and beneficent ur-cat, a Procreatur Felinis. . . at least until the back leg needed a wash.
This, too will pass.
perhaps that bottle in the fridge, lurking there ever so long will not be flat, ere the new day comes.
Until then, the Catulator and I are Imperator; raised on our Thrones (if a beat-up, hand-me-down sofa) and Regal in our accomplished vestments (ah, yet more sic semper transit gloria Mundi–which ought be in Greek, but I have no Greek, poor scholar that I am–and impoverished for not having mater to buy such for me).
Quiver, you mere mortals that in our presence dare, for we are Ozzimandius, and will, in course be toppled ere
And I thought honey mead was supposed to be food of the gods… who knew it was pork loin?
Well, if you read your mythology, you know the gods were always ready for a good pork.
What?
Not mere pork loin but whol pork tenderloin. Rubbed in herbs and spices (like rosemary, black pepper, pasilla, thyme and some several somethings else). Was sweet, sour, spicy, even unami (without any soy or sesame!) Fork-tender, too. Dreadful stuff, charbroild loma de cerdo, not for th efaint of heart, the unjust, undeserving, the kind of person who’d buy himerwork for their kid on CL.
Heh! I know loma de cerdo is pork loin, but Google translates it to pig hill. Sounds like you had a most excellent meal to close out 2010. Wishing your new year to be best ever, Captain……
“Pig hill” Baka google!
Thought that “hill” was los lomas and “hills” were las lomas; unless the hill were loin-shaped (eek, “los lomas de la loma”?)
Never have heard why a dove is a palaloma; just know that that it is (and that one finds them on the llano not las lomas.
Llama?
Okay, gotta punch out early as the party guests will be arriving. 8) Richard, wherever you are. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Rhodes Scholars!
So, today I got up at 8:00 AM, helped my grandmother pack up her moving van for 6.5 hours, helped drive the van up to West Virginia, and arrived at 7 PM. Tomorrow we unload the van, and drive back to Maryland. Fun, fun, fun.
Well, it should be fun:
Loading the moving van = real-life Tetris; a chance to put those gamer skills to positive use!
Driving a moving van = not an every day experience (is it?)
Not having Kathy for a mother (or grandmother) = priceless, eh?
Night away from home = chance to prank your siblings
Fun is where you find it.
Gah. Stupid computer crashed, now it’s stuck doing a chkdsk cycle which is taking for bloody ever, so I had to hop in on my iPad just in case the computer hasn’t finished its thing in time. I wanted to wish all the YSaCers* a happy new year and hope that 2011 brings everyone more happiness and prosperity and the best snark material yet. 🙂
* Just what is the collective noun for us lot, anyway?
I vote our collective noun be harem.
Or maybe gaggle.
Yes, I like that better.
A gaggle of YSaCers.
A snark of YSaCers.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
I like it! But do we say “y s a c ers” or “y sac ers” ? 🙂
I’ve always said “Y sac ers”.
Always scanned as EEss eck for me; which would make the collective the lever on the left side of the helo seat.
Y-S-A-C, it’s fun to snark at the Y-S-A-C !
I thought we were a perven.
A gaggle of beings possessing common sense…GOBPCS. No, that sounds like some vile new version of toothpicks.
Gaggle Against Stupids Sparkies…GASS. Nope. For obvious reasons.
A Gaggle Of Those Possessing More Intelligence Than A Pile Of Old Coffee Grounds…AGOTPMITAPOOC. I like this one. Let’s use this one. It sounds like a sneeze.
Gathering of the Intelligent Trevailing vice the Stupid?
Nope, GITS is Ghost In the Shell (and a rude term for those with UK-English education).
We need two collecitves, too.
Sparkdom or the like might cover those we lampoon.
But, “we” do not suck at craigslist.
We are good at snark. And coffee. And adult beverages (some of us, too-good at them, too). We span not quite six decades in age. And from rocket science to EOD to IM to education and student.
Quorum Fraternae Tele-Sapient?
Ten ’till 2011; will see if the ancient bottle of cheapo bubbly is unpossible or not.
Felicidad en nuevo año
Schönes neue Jahr
Bonne année
S’Novym Godom
Akemash’te omedetō gozaimas’
Ah, the ancient Domaine Ste Michelle was still fizzy and good.
Slainte! t’ye all, and may t’road rise up t’meet’ya.
Fair winds and following seas to all my Sea Service shipmates out there.
And, prayers and well wishes to the First Responders out there answering up to fireworks and gunshots calls (and the grass fire 30 minutes ago)–ought not have dispatch open as a tab; busy traffic tonight.
Happy New Year, Everyone! Take a good look around, you’re in the future! Welcome, and make yourself at home.
This just reminds me so much of the old SNL skit with Adam Sandler and Chris Farley in a poetry class taught by David Hyde Pierce. As a HOMEWORK assignment, the class has to write a poem, and instead they recite the lyrics to Van Helen’s “Jump” and AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”. I tried to find it onlne, but alas, I have no massive link to share. Sorry.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Studying sucks,
But fraud does too.
HTH, HAND.