YSaC, Vol. 885: Hungry like Virginia Woolf in sheep’s clothing.
2010 December 21
Wolf coat hanger – $10
Nice wolf coat hanger. We also have other wolf collection as well if you are a wolf collector.
The level of semantic ambiguity here is amazing. I don’t think I could come up with a more ambiguous ad if I was trying.
Is this…
A coat hanger to be owned by a wolf who is nice?
A nice coat hanger for hanging a coat made of wolf fur?
A coat hanger for hanging a nice coat made of wolf fur?
A nice coat hanger MADE of wolf fur?
A coat hanger made of NICE wolf fur?
Also, is it aimed at collectors who ARE wolves, or who COLLECT wolves?
Thanks for the myriad possibilities, Amy!
Ahh, the fearsome “wolf coat hanger”. I’ve heard about, but never seen, them. I believe Master Juan (no lie, that’s his name) teaches a class in the fine art of wielding one of these treasures.
It’s really good for fending off crazed medicine men, and when you’re done it makes a lovely hanger for your bedazzled hooves.
It’s a mounted wolf head posed in a head up, “howl-at-the-moon” pose. Why anyone would want to hang their coat on it, is beyond me. But then, I’ve seen mounted deer head with their antlers draped in mardis gras beads, and hooves bedazzled, and stools made out of elk. Well, this turned into [corey] real fast.
I’m off to find some stronger coffee.
Unfortunately, I only collect coyote hangers. However, my collection of nice giraffe fishing poles is pretty banging.
If I had a wolf head mounted in such a position, I’d drape anything over it so I wouldn’t feel like it was watching me. Which is interesting, because as a hunter I hope to someday bag a trophy elk whose head I can take to the taxidermist and hang on my wall so I can brag about what I shot. Probably the difference comes from me being the only hunter of which I am aware that believes wolves do indeed belong in the woods and not on a list of recently-extinct animals. I would have no problem at all reporting a hunting partner for poaching a wolf. I’m gonna step off the soap box before I really get going about hunting wolves specifically and not-generally-eaten animals in general.
Elk make better coat hangers, anyway. Many more places to hang stuff.
So, would you say that the Elk is “well hung”?
Why is my mind immediately assuming it has something to do with furries? I guess since it’s on the internet the probability that the ad is somehow furry-related is probably some ridiculously high number I’m too tired to manufacture right now.
Your mind assumed it’s furry-related because the internet has infernally and irrevocably tainted us all, sarajean.
Not to mention furries have been “Freak of the month” for about 5 years now. Talk about from going from obscurity to stardom and then holding onto it!
Now, who has my squirrel costume?
If you lent out your furry squirrel costume, I highly recommend you have the borrower drop it off at the best dry cleaner in town before you reclaim it. Unless you completely trust said person. Otherwise, you might get something resembling the recently-offered “DNA sample” t-shirt.
Yeah, if you haven’t taken it to the cleaners, don’t let it near a black light either …
Naw, I think I’ve only lent it to HHNF and Gramps. I really doubt that…
Hmm, I seem to have misplaced the number for that emergency dry cleaning service.
I know a guy who does furry art. It’s not that big of a deal, you know.
[putting it out there corey]
I’ve never had any real issue with furries. As somebody who’s been considered a freak for parts of my life, I can sympathize with their position. I may think that dressing up as animals is weird (sexual or non-sexual as the purpose may be for the individual), but I will defend their right to do so. If it isn’t hurting anyone, then it should be allowed. As far as furryism goes, I can’t see that it’s causing any harm, so as much as I poke fun at them, I don’t think it should be prevented or ridiculed on a deep level.
That said though, I still reserve the right to poke fun at them, just as if they want to poke fun at me for whatever it is I do that they find strange, they are allowed to do so.
As far as “Furry” or “Anthro” art. I will say that I never really associate the two except that the furry community has largely adopted anthropomorphic art as their own, but really furryism may more be a derivation of the art rather than the other way around. I’ve always rather enjoyed anthropomorphic comics and cartoons (Ducktails and Rescue Rangers being huge favorites), and I’ve even drawn antrho art myself (as they’re generally easier than humans… and I suck at drawing). I like the style both because I was raised on Disney and Warner brothers, whose use of anthropomorphics pretty much started the genre; and because I think that in a mature setting the use of antrhomophics can be used to address racial and social issues more directly than the use of true racial characters would allow (Ala “Ozy and Millie” or “2Kinds”).
That said, the squirrel/chipmunk costume gag has been “my thing” for a while now and I’m keeping it.
[/corey]
I believe that warranted [matt] tags in lieu of the [corey].
It wasn’t really righteous indignation, though. More of a “Hey now. I’m poking fun, not being a judgemental ass, here.”
But since it was based more on TacOpinion rather than TacoFact, I went with the [matt] feel to the whole rant-esque post. I guess it’s just a matter of taste.
Hmm, that’s true. Perhaps a less righteous fur
ry [matt] tag is called for. A [matte] tag perhaps?Brilliant! I vote for a [matte tag] (kind of dull and lusterless) .
Having also grown up watching Ducktails*, I can’t hear, read, or even think the word without my brain immediately inserting “Woo-oo!”. So deeply ingrained is it that I even do it with similar sounding words/phrases (duct tape*, coat tails*, etc).
*Woo-oo!
I’ve always pictured you as more of a Stalker Squirrel than a Judgemental Ass, TM 😉
I’ve nothing against furries; if they have found something that makes them happy, then more power to them. That just happened to be the first thing I thought of when I saw the post this morning. That probably says more about me than the furry community.
Thanks SJ, that… uh, that means a lot to me.
It sounded better and less psycho in my head, now it just looks … odd.
Well, and given the climatic nature of the land of brats-n-bier there in WI; a donkey would need a better coat than an aboreal rodent.
NMN, we know.
I’m rather attracted by Steampunk, myself. But whether Furry, Steampunk, CyberPunk, Goth, Sparkly Vamp, any of the various flavors of SciFi fandom, Anime, or something else entirely, it’s all in good fun and good to make fun of.
I recently read an anthro web comic and, at one point, the author poked fun at himself-as-comic-character for doing “furry” comics and I went, “Wait, what? This qualifies as ‘furry’?”
But I REALLY need to make a nice pair of goggles… and finish that second squirt gun makeover.
I like pie.
With my freeze ray I will stop-
Due to a crazy random happenstance, there’s free frozen yogurt for everyone!
Try not to stab yourself in the leg with a spork.
Moira – You need a pair of these babies for a real Steampunk look;
http://www.flickr.com/photos/15107558@N07/2522992780/in/set-72157603808467874/
We have met the enemy and he is us.
-W.K.
I like dust bunnies.
Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins
He’s only three feet tall
Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins
Bravest little hobbit of them all
It’s a wash and werewolf.
Obviously my caffeine intake is in dire need of upping.
I had to read that FOUR times before getting it.
*wanders off to find coffee slices*
Due to the film Werewolf, which was full of bad, Scandinavian actors and their strange accents, I will forever read “werewolf” as “were wolf” in my head.
This means it required way more readings than CJ to actually understand the joke.
There, wolf. There, castle.
Why are you talking that way?
I thought you wanted to.
No, I don’t want to.
Suit yourself, I’m easy.
Oh, Yancy! Yet another puppy after mine own heart.
It’s not you, CJ. Had I formed a complete thought, it might have made sense. It should have said: It’s for hanging up your wash and werewolf.
I liked it the first way, better.
My name is TacoMagic, and I approve of that random, comma.
EDIT: Ignore me, my brain restructured the sentence to mean something else where the comma made no sense.
I presume Sparky means “wool”. In other words: Not. A. Wolf.
You should never presume anything of Sparky.
Exactly; there could be a line of garment suspension devices branded by a maker of high-end (i.e., ludicrously over-priced) kitchan appliances.
(Or, Spark’ could live in a town where there is a local craftsman who has the german version of the name Ramiro [Wulfram])
If that’s the case, how much wool memorabilia is there actually to collect?
Wool memorabilia?
Millions of Scottish, Irish, English, and Australian sheep, for a start? Collect the whole set!
Those are only Scottish, Irish, English, and Australian wolves in sheep’s clothing. Duped again!
😉
Actually, they are North American wolves in Scottish, Irish, English and Australian sheep’s clothing.
There are coat hangers exclusively for wool coats? I live such a sheltered life.
A first for me, Bad Gateway at 0820 CST. “X”ed out and no problem getting back.
*** I have no idea what Joan Crawford sounds like imitation***
“NO WOLF HANGERS!”
Must have for my collection! This will fit right in with my wolf in sheep’s clothing and my wolf whistle……..
For a few years in my younger days, I collected wolves. I didn’t want to. I have no idea how it happened. I’m glad they all just disappeared one day. Or maybe I stopped going to bars.
I WISH I’d collected wolves. I would have greater respect for my younger self. Instead, I collected flying horses, unicorns, smurfs and those dressed mice.
Testing. Hitting submit at 6:49 MPT.
And there it is! Huh. Wonder why it delayed my first comment from appearing?
Glad it’s a “nice” wolf. If it were a Bad Wolf, we’d have to call in The Doctor.
Another is added to my stalking list.
Sheesh, I’m going to have to start sub-contracting with Mr. Winkey to get all this stalking covered.
EDIT: Holy crap, Ruth. I thought that avatar looked familiar. I’ve been to your blogs several times in my crochet pattern searches.
You have also reminded me that I promised my wife a pink crocheted Cthulhu.
I’ll have to get on that after I finish up my Lemming tonight.
EDIT: And yes, Ruth, we get it. 🙂 Where’s Ten when we need him?
*waves* Hi! 🙂
*prepares for stalking* *martials workplace Artoo, Cylon & Cthulhu*
Thus far my stalking was only incidental. Now the real thing begi- OH SHINY!
*Wanders off*
I never saw any of the Bad Wolf episodes, can someone please explain?
First season of the new Doctor Who (Number 9). The words “Bad Wolf” keep showing up and later culminate in letting the female protagonist know what she needs to do.
I’m only interested in a three wolf hanger. I’ve heard it transfers mystical powers to whatever is hung on it.
You mean like this?
There may not be a moon, but it’s got the wolves at least.
Taco, just saw this, and my first thought was, “Why did someone make a Wolf Centipede????” :::shudder::: the internets have corrupted me.
Damn it, Meredith. Now I can’t unsee it!
Just imagine how confustigating this would become if we added vampires to it.
Throw in some aliens and you would have a Paul W.S. Anderson or Colin Strause movie.
How about:
Vampires vs Werewolves vs Ninja vs Cowboys vs Pirates vs Aliens vs Lawyers*.
I know I’d watch it.
*Thought lawyers would be funny.
How about Vampire Lawyers? Or is that redundant?
Zing!
Only if they’re the ambulance-chasing type, Taco.
True. I was waiting for some Laywery wrath from our Law-ey residents, but I’ll take Lola wrath any day!*
*Creepier than I planned.
Not to worry, Taco, no wrath at all – I’m not one, I just work for them (and have opinions derived thereof, which are separate from my opinions of our JD posters here), remember? 8)
Do we have to sparkle? Because that’s a dealbreaker.
No, no sparkling is allowed. I’d prefer my vampires to be of the Blade-movie kind. You know, badass, not sparkly.
Only if you like crafts that use lots of glitter.
Glitter: The herpes of crafts products.
Do they cover body glitter application in Laywer School?
Amen.
Hey, now–glitter can make for very nice xmas tree ornaments
*takes gift tags off presents*
Clarice: “Well, she’s not local. Her ears are pierced three times and there’s glitter nail polish. That looks like town to me.”
I now have a girl-crush on mudsy…sigh…
Let’s hear it for the Duran Duran earworm!
“Hanger like the wolf” …
Hanger? But I barely know her!
That’s all I could think of.
[corey]Ok, I got curious and talked to Uncle Google. Apparently there is indeed a Wolf Coat Hanger/Rack. And it’s actually kind of nice.
[/corey]
Why is it staring at me like that?
That means it likes you.
For dinner.
I want to eat your soul!! Aroooo!
Maybe.
Aroo! Werewolf hangers of London.*
*Don’t mind me, blame the full moon or something. Hm, I wasn’t this hairy yesterday…why do I have a craving for rare meat?
Why do I have a craving for a big dish of beef chow mein from Lee Ho Fook’s?
O.M.G. for $189 I have to constantly worry that my oh-so-stylish-in-a-lodge-kinda-way mirror/coat hanger will come to life in the middle of the night and rip my throat out?
Hmm…do you think it comes in black?
For an extra 30 dollars, we will give you the phone number of the Ghostbusters.
If we’re dealing with werewolves, I’d rather have Maria Ouspenskaya’s phone number.
“Insane? He is not insane. He simply wants to die.”
Not what I had envisioned at all. Mine involved fur… and a couple of fangs to hold the coat securely on the hanger.
I have a home in which neither the etched-mirror nor the fur-n-fang variety would look right. [heavy sigh]
I guess I shall have to pass up on whatever this ambiguous awesomeness really was.
Hm. My mind imagined one of those hat stand type constructions that doubles as a coat hanger, with carvings reminiscent of wolves.
I’m glad you looked this up, Taco. I was about ready to buy the thing just to see what it was.
Lovely Wolf Fur Coat
by Canidae Canidae
Dark in the closet, hangers are wire
Pressing my dress shirts fresh from the dryer
Do do dodo do dodo do dodo do dodo do do
Women, they want me want me, they give me the signs
Whenever I am dressed to the nines
Do do dodo do dodo do dodo do dodo do do
It touches the ground
Its glassy dead eyes, they stare at you
It smells like a hound, it makes me feel proud
Of my lovely wolf fur coat
This coat is all mine, its fur is so fine
I’m purposely bumping into you
I’ve upset your stein — oh, no, it’s red wine!
Now you’ve stained my nice wolf coat!
This ugly blotch is too big to hide
I’ll need it dry cleaned, but it’s too cold outside
Do do dodo do dodo do dodo do dodo do do
It kinda looks like blood from the side
Maybe I’ll say I shot the wolf for its hide
Do do dodo do dodo do dodo do dodo do do
It touches the ground
Its glassy dead eyes, they stare at you
Why yes, with one round, I took this beast down
And I made this nice wolf coat
You think that’s red wine? Oh, no, it’s sanguine
I don’t need to prove it to you
I bid you shalom, now I’m going home
And I’m taking my wolf coat
Lovely wolf fur coat
Lovely wolf fur coat
Lovely wolf fur coat
Covering ground, I break from the crowd
I’m getting far away from you
My dry cleaning bill, it makes me feel ill
At least I’ve got a clean wolf coat
I’m back at my pad, and I’m kind of sad
It won’t be the same because of you
So draped around wire, it’s time to retire
My old lovely wolf fur coat
“It smells like a hound”
Today’s crush: MF. A very big door.
Wow. Seriously. That was great, MF – it’s like your usual storytime, plus a song parody, all wrapped in one wolfy package.
Danke. 😀 It was the obvious choice, but really, there was no other choice. Wolves call for Duran Duran. Unless it’s werewolves. Then it calls for Warren Zevon.
Look! I’m in the box! Yay me!
Back to WoW for the day.
Good job! Don’t forget to come back for the taste of Windrose punchity-punch-punch! I think there’s a helmet and possibly other gear if you feel it’s necessary.
Servers are down. I hate Tuesdays.
It feels like it was just the other day that only about 2500 people had “liked” YSaC. How did it get up to about 4600?!
Gnomes.
And elves.
I suspect a leprechaun or three might have sneaked in as well.
The Borg voted and that jumped it up 2,000 with one mouse click.
Don’t forgot all the Doctors.
Who watched the eclipse last night? We laid on our living room floor by the Christmas tree and watched it through a skylight. Sang the Star Trek theme, Mr. JD made a hilarious Khaaaaaaaaan joke… It was all about as nerdy as it could be, and quite fun.
It snowed here last night… and this morning… and right now actually.
No eclipse for me!
Yeah, we’ve had about a foot of snow in the last 14 hours…. Wait, Taco, didn’t you say yesterday that you were stalking me? Hmmm…
In other news, it’s hard to navigate/type when you have a kitten resting its warm paws on the touchpad of your laptop -_-
In other other news, I think Mini isn’t going to take this nap, either *sigh*
What eclipse? 🙂
I’ve been sick for the past four days and was, as per approximately 93 of the previous 96 hours, sleeping. Meh, I’ll just have them freeze my head and catch the next one that way.
Oh, Lola, that’s a great idea! It was raining here, and cold, and the wind was making the wisteria scrape against the bedroom window, and I wasn’t going out there. Nuh-uh. Freezing head it is.
Right? So much easier that way. And I hear you don’t even notice the cold after that …
Cops banged on our window at half past midnight wandering through looking for a fugitive in the neighborhood. I looked at the clock, told my hubby there was an eclipse in a couple hours, snuggled up and wished him a happy solstice and we both went back to sleep.
We haven’t had a DROP of rain here since November, hardly a cloud in the sky…until last night, of course.
Uncle Google has several sites with some pretty amazing pictures. Cool how the moon looks blood-red, and oh so apropos given today’s conversation.
I stayed up until totality was reached, then stumbled back to the apartment. Going to have to use a smaller “Stay Warm” flask next time.
I tried. Bunch of folk were going to, but moisture from the gulf of Mexico rolled in on the land breeze and made a thick, low-altitude, overcast from about 2200 on.
Clouds also made it much milder, went from about 61º at 2300 to 65º by 0300. I got a glimpse, after totality ended, as the energy in the land breeze petered out and started breaking holes in the overcast. Was cool, but would have been better to see the red glow at the beginning.
That, and seeing a lunar eclipse is supposed to turn a person’s luch around–and mine more than needs a turn around.
I didn’t see the eclipse. I hate Twilight. Also I had to be up at 0630 for work , so there was no way I was gonna get up halfway through my sleep to play an extremely slow game of peek-a-boo with the moon. Not that I wouldn’t have found it cool, I just would have found falling asleep at work a lot less cool. (Well, I think it’s great, actually, it’s the management that’s not so keen on it. Sticklers.)
Mindy, my boss follows that same guideline. No sleeping at work, especially during boring meetings. Sheesh.
Hmm, let us approach this as a mathematical equation.
Nice (wolf coat) hanger–Ok, a surly coat-hanging attendant seems less0than desireable.
(Nice wolf coat) hanger–I remember a t-shirt to the effect that nice girls get presents and toys; bad girls get mink (coats); such coats will need suspension . . .
(Nice wolf coat) hanger–ok, this combo seems to be about a suspension device for a treasured garment of some quality
(Nice wolf) (coat hanger)–Would this be for attendants dealing with garments belonging to a range of wolves of varying quality.
Nice (wolf (coat hanger))
I’m getting this Les Stroud vibe of a branch and some found twine for the not-nice, survival coat hanger being the other end of the spectrum.
However, not of this decreases the multiple-variable issue of whether a garment ‘for’ or one ‘of’ wolves is intended. At which point the question dissolves, fractally, into quantum state math, and this annoys catulator (<:hiss-spit>Schrodinger<:growl>) near universally.
*TACOSPLODEY!*
*sigh*
I’ll get the mop.
Hey if y’all want to see a cool time-lapse of last night’s eclipse:
http://gizmodo.com/5715640/yesterdays-spectacular-lunar-eclipse-caught-on-video?skyline=true&s=i
[OT]
My wife just texted me, “I don’t know what infant* for dinner.”
I thought those were turkeys in our freezer.
* iPhone auto-correct; she meant “I want.” Given today’s wolfy theme though I thought it was funny. We do, in fact, have turkeys in our freezer though. At least, they’re supposed to be turkeys.
[/OT]
Er … baby turkeys?
Ahhh…which reminds me…the website damnyouautocorrect.com has caused me many a spasmodic fit of laughter.
Go.Look.Enjoy.
And that’s going in the Favorites folder.
Check out the “zebra rooster” I found on one of DYAC’s sister sites.
http://whydidyoubuymethat.com/post/2403307620/zebra-rooster
It’s a Not.A.Zebra! It’s a rooster! I don’t think I can process all this species confusion.
Note to self: do NOT read DYAC at work.
At least, not if you want anyone to think you are working.
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Mini EB is always so profound. Especially when he hasn’t had his nap.
And oooohhhhh he had not had his nap. In fact, right after I was able to submit his musings, he unplugged my laptop and it turned off (my battery is so bad that the OS doesn’t recognize that there’s one at all. But I have one arriving Thursday or Friday… Thank goodness….)
And the Sparkies of the world baffle again.
It’s good to know they have at least one useful* skill.
*This might not be true.
Note to self: Do not screw with Little Red Riding Hood. She will make you into a hanger.
Carol’s Sheep Dip.
Hey BUJ, Welcome back! 8)
Ok, I’m invoking shenanigans here.
Not one person has refuted the patently absurd assertion Dan (BbUH) made.
I will aver, contend, and avow, that, as a learned person with skills in both logic and language, that he could easily construct a more ambiguous ad than even and exceptional Sparky.
Which I also feel to be true of all of us here (QED)–the distinction being that we would not confuse ambiguity for specificity, unlike the Sparkish main.
To that end, let me offer:
Sale 4 Sell
As a potentially consummate in ambiguity. But, so what? The non-sequitur Dark 4 Night applies, if with fewer CL referents.
But, I may be reacting to the professor* I ran into last night who was not coping well with the dénouement-less way the academic semester ends this time of year. Said worthy propounded, basso profundo, beerily, that all should discourse in monosylabic words. Which mostly sounded like bad haiku. More annoying, than appealing, really.
______________________________
*No, not that kind; he’s rubbish with inventions, let alone coconuts. Paradigm for DNA sequences, Bob’s your Uncle–fix a cosmonaut’s radio with stone knives and bearskin? Pffft.
Okay, Notty, I know this is your first time, so I will be gentle. Punchity Punch Punch! There, now, that didn’t hurt, did it?
G’Night, Bag End!