YSaC, Vol. 870: I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah …
Sith Lord Seeking Love – m4mm – 23
I Am a Sith Lord Seeking a Group of men to Light-saber Battle. I will provide snacks and Drinks during role play.
I Will Provide The Place Or Will Travel
I have a 8.5 inch LightstaberMust Meet any Two Requirements:
->Must Have at least a 6 inch light saber and Drugs/Disease Free
->I need a Black Mace Windu type male (Will Provide Purple Rubber)
->I need a Young White Male To role play as Obi Wan Kenobi
->I need a Midget that is willing to wear green body paint with a >4inch Light saber (Yoda Ears Optional)
If they’re looking for a realistic Yoda, they should really be looking for an acrobactial midget. Yoda kicked ass — and who wouldn’t want to see Yoda wearing a Mexican hat?
(By the way, if Ewan McGregor responds to the ad, send him my way. I hear he has a lovely light saber.)
Thanks, Mike!
… Paging Dr. Freud …
That and relatively heavy saber too……..
Sometimes a light saber is just penis.
Sometimes you feel like a nut…
If you want to know for sure about Ewan’s lightsaber, one movie I know is The Pillow Book. Just a thought.
Mmmmhmmm. Oh, I know. Young Adam is also a good choice.
Several years ago I read an (Esquire?) interview with Ewan where the interviewer said something along the lines of, “You’ve done a few nudes scenes, do you find it hard?” To which his reply was, “Well sometimes.”
Yet more reason to love that man.
*drool*
My husband has a man crush on Ewan McGregor. Ever since he heard him sing in Moulin Rouge, that was it.
Wouldn’t a Sith Lord look for another Sith Lord?
Never thought I’d ask that question.
Yes, only two there are, a master and an apprentice.
Disagree, I do, recommend seeing KOTOR 1, I am.
Hey, I think I have their cassette tapes! I wondered what all the whooshing sounds were. Not that I listened to them. . . all.
Coffee! I’ll make coffee!
sarajean, your flamboyant order is here!
I think I’m gonna have to send it back, there’s a little bit of green on one.
He claims he’s a Sith lord, but wait until they all show up and he’s dressed in Princess Leia’s gold bikini outfit.
And he’s built like Jabba the Hutt.
And has Chewbacca’s back hair.
Mind Bleach already? I think so. Ewww…
No, silly – Then he’d be a Sithi Lord.
(My gay friends approved this comment).
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
Oh s…, there goes the planet.
Half an inch, half an inch,
Half an inch longer,
All in the valley of dirt.
Rode the sick Yodas.
“Forward, the light sabre!
“Charge for the buns!” he said:
Into the valley of dirt.
Rode the sick Yodas.
“Forward, the light sabre!
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the Sith actors knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Theirs not to measure mine,
Theirs not to calculate PII,
Their butt to do and cry:
Into the valley of dirt
Rode the sick Yodas.
Han to right of them,
Han to left of them,
Han in front of them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm troopers shot to hell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the maws of dirt,
Into the mouth of Darth
Rode the sick Yodas.
Flash’d all their sabres bare,
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the buns there,
Charging a clone army, while
All the Snarkers squick’d:
Plugged in a battery-stroke
Right thro’ the line they broke;
Rock hard and rushing
Reel’d from the sabre stroke
Shatter’d and sunder’d.
Then they rode bare back, but not
Not the sick Yodas.
Han to right of them,
Han to left of them,
Han in front of them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm troopers shot to hell,
While horseradish and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came into the maws of dirt
Back from the mouth of Darth
All that was left of them,
Left of sick Yodas.
When will their manhood fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the snarkers squick’d.
Horror the charge they made,
Horror the light sabre,
Awful sick Yodas.
(Light Brigade twice in one week! Sorry Alfred)
And on a Saturday, no less. Thanks, “Light Brigade” will squick me forever now.
Thank you Lord Sir Tennis-court.
(Now, I’ve told to about soiling the carpets!)
Now, for more prams.
What bothers Me most about This post is Not the Star Wars theme Sparky desires for His group Tshirt time but the Random Capitalisation.
Well, then. You’re in the right place.
I suppose we should be grateful that he didn’t ask for a young Anikin Skywalker.
Or a young Jar Jar Binks. That’s a fetish that I can’t believe my own mind just came up with … pardon me while I steep it in bleach.
Oh, I don’t know – Jar Jar does get some hot women…….
Why did I click that link? Why did I read the comments? Seriously, Manhattan is probably the easiest three syllable word to spell, how does someone screw that up?
Or C-3PO
Hammy, everyone knows that C-3PO is not fully functional.
Everyone?
…
I bet you can order “attachments” on eBay.
And just how many “attachments” have you bought from eBay, Hammy?
Yes
C-3PO may not be functional, but he can talk dirty in elebenty brazillion languages.
Give me back my R2Dildo or I’ll get (C3) PO’ed!
Jar-Jar: Oooh, me-saw hawny. Me-saw love you-saw long time.
We got Meej in the box! Good times, good times.
I’m with Mrs Patrick Campbell on this one – it doesn’t matter what people do as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
Actually, as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses, I… sorta think it’s adorable.
Yes, I get all “d’awwww, isn’t that sweet” over people satisfying their mutually consenting urges. I do NOT need to know the details, though, thank you. This particular application of Rule 34 is bending my brain slightly.
I don’t care as long as they don’t do it in the horses and clutter up the streets – adorable or not.
I thought that’s how I felt, until you guys started bringing Jar Jar Binks into it. Now I object.
What, exactly, are the appropriate snacks and drinks to serve for a Sith Lord, Mace Windu, Obi Wan Kenobi, and a (sic) Midget during their Star Wars themed circle jerk?
Mountain Dew, Doritos, and ecstasy?
Vintage Crisco and pubes?
I wouldn’t think you’d be snacking on either of those except by accident.
Snack Bologna and Cheez Whiz. And fudge.
Moonshine…
StarBursts….
Star Crunch treats by Little Debbie…
Buzz Lightyear?
Moonpies and YooHoo.
Cocktail weenies and Swedish meatballs.
Is it bad that this was the thing that troubled me most about this ad, too?
Not at all. I’m okay with people having crazy fetishes, but the whole food and sex thing has me mystified. I can see where whipped cream or chocolate could be fun (provided you had rubber sheets), but beyond that…
I’m not sure if I want to associate quiet shirt time with spaghetti or chicken cordon bleu.
Artichokes?
How’s Pam doing?
Must meet any two requirements… Obviously it’s OK if they have Herpisyphilaids, as long as they look Smashing in green body paint and sound like Samuel L. Jackson.
Did anyone else just get the “hello world” message instead of this site?
I assumed it was part of the trouble-shooting process, but now I’m paranoid that I was hallucinating.
Drmk (bees be upon her) said they were playing with things on the server (or breaking them). I was worried too at first.
We’re trying a new site configuration to see if that helps with the 400 Bad Request errors that some people get. We figured if we broke the site completely, then nobody would get any error messages.*
*This would actually be true … but wasn’t our original intent.
Of course, I could still be hallucinating and none of these replies are real. Oh no, what if I’ve been hallucinating for a long time and the internet is just a figment of my imagination? I think I just blew my own mind. Or not, you know, if this isn’t really happening.
It’s just a Jedi mind trick.
These are not the comments you are looking for.
I got the “Hello, world” message for a while. I was worried that we’d been hacked.
I wish my lightsaber made those cool “zhwwwooom” sound effects. That would be awesome.
Probably my wife would stay the hell away from me, though.
Maybe not. I think that would be cool. If Mr. JD had that feature, I think I would probably want to do all kinds of experimentation to see what sound it would make in different situations. But it could also be a problem if I started hearing that sound all the damn time. Quiet T-shirt time is one thing – obnoxious “shwwwooom” T-shirt time is quite another.
Would be really handing during power outages…
If no one respond to his ad, this guy can still be Hand Solo.
1528 CST and only 58 comments?
Either there is something broken with the site, or the regulars are busy shopping.
Or something.
Seems odd.
Ok, back up to top and see what’s going on today.
Well I spent almost all day curled up in a ball waiting for the nausea to go away.
I have the flu
even though I got a flu shot 2 months ago
blargh.
[flu corey]
The various “flu’s” mutate almost on a per-affliction level.
So, it’s possible that you have not caught the specific virus strain the “flu shot” was aimed against.
Now, there are other versions of influenza about; strains of all the historical ones wander about. The vaccine-makers survey what seems to be most virulent, and pick a strain or two of that, and test to see which vaccine gives the broadest coverage against what is thought to be the greatest risk strain.
None of which much helps if you collect up one of the rhinoviruses we call “the common cold.” One reason there’s no cure is that there’s elebenty zillion strains of the rhinoviruses, and from mild to knee-walking close to needing hospital care strong.
Which is not at all helped by the fact that while your immune system is busy fighting all this rogue RNA, you can then catch various bacteriological afflictions. And, that latter is often what causes the gastric distress, rather than the ichor wandering about the respiratory system (not that the, ahem, drainage, from that is a usefull addition to the gastro-intestinal system, either).
Good to also understand what the “symptoms” are trying to accomplish, too. A fever is an attempt to raise the temperature above that which will incubate disease. This is where a steam bath (or a towel over the kettle), or a hot soak can help cope better. The sinuses swell to try and isolate disease, and to rais the temperature. The sinuses will then naturally relax later (usually late in the day) to go “runny” to evacutate diseases. Sinuses go runny to flush out allergens, too.
Those actions are dehydrating, which is why the mantra is “get fluids” and also why chicken soup works. Chicken soup has a lot of water in it, and needful sodium (to replace persperation loss; also a pH change). The noodles in it are basic carbs that break down easily to replenish energy lost to fighting disease (have to build those white corpusles out of something, after all).
Personally, I try to add spice, as capiscum is a natural anti-biotic, and it will help you sweat bad stuff out; and you are opening sinuses on your schedule, not your sinuses’. Capiscum also has some numbing characteristics, which can be hady for gastric upset. That’s me, though, YMMV.
[/corey]
Get better soon!
Thanks for all the info CapnTripps.
von Trapp?
Why no, I have respect for people’s aural heath, so I’m not yodeling that in song.
Not going to do it, no-sir-ee.
Going to go eat Chinese food, instead (kung-pew! kung-pew! take that! virii!)
I’m fond of sushi when my nose is stuffed… or hot ‘n’ sour soup.
And, yes, treating your symptoms may make you feel better but it generally prolongs the misery. Mom’s rule for sicknesses was sleep, ginger ale, saltines, soup and aspirin for 24 hours (whatever combo was best tolerated) and then if no improvement was noted, maybe we’d think about seeing a doctor.
I blame this regimen for my inability to ever take a day off work due to illness. Never being ill*, I can’t very well take a sick day now, can I?
*very slight exaggeration. In the last decade, I’ve had two colds and one bout of gastroenteritis total.
Get well soon, Silva.
Been working on decorating the 9 ft tree. The 5 year old is such a hard taskmaster. So right now our tree has 7 strings of lights and one train that is circling the base. I hope the batteries wear out over the weekend.
We got our tree today but spent most of the day doing the outside lights. Tomorrow while Mr. JD is at work, I’ll decorate the tree. This is good for two reasons – no arguing, and I won’t feel bad because he is not helping me. I don’t know why those family christmas specials never show the people saying things like, “that’s too close together” and “do you want to do this yourself? If you want me to help you have to let me do it.” I am positive we are not the only couple who has this conversation annually.
Andie, I don’t know how my parents do it now, because when I lived there I HAD to help, or unfestive things would be spoken between them. You are definitely not the only ones.
LOL. Unfestive.
I’m cleaning in anticipation of my mother-in-law’s imminent arrival.
Ok, I SHOULD be cleaning but I’m being a little lazy. I’m THINKING about all the things I have to clean and how best to go about it.
And shopping.
@Moira – what about leaving it all until she arrives? Then she’ll feel good about showing you how to look after her boy and you’ll feel smug about getting her to clean for you?
Me? I’m escaping to a sunny island next Saturday for 3.5 weeks leaving snow-bound UK and family behind. *had lunch with children yesterday and will have Christmas with them on 5th February – just a random date*
And no-one’s said “These are not the dweebs you’re looking for.” Or anything remotely like it.
(We were watching a topical news quiz a couple of weeks back and one of the panel made the “These are not the droids you’re looking for” joke. Nobody in the studio audience laughed. It made me sad.)
These are not the prostitutes you are looking for.
*Waves one (free) hand*
Happy now?
Yes, thank you 😀
OT — The Book Club has wrapped up our Inaugural Read, and the comments are very interesting. Thanks to all who participated. I have posted a suggestion for the second read. 8)
I would suggest a book, but I don’t usually read anything that isn’t fantasy or sci-fi and/or under 400 pages long.
I know it’s still early, but I just got back from a holiday party and I wore myself out eating and I won a bird from the drawing table. Hooray, a new bird!
Meej, you are almost a bird, here’s a sammich-like Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Alderaan!
Why Alderaan? Why not Korriban? Mygeeto? Hoth? Tatooine? Dantooine? Coruscant? Malachor V? Dagobah? Nar Shadda?*
*I’m a massive Star Wars fan.
When it’s your turn to get punched, I’m sure you’ll get see different star systems. 8)
I never get punched though. I’m not funny enough.
You must use the farce, young padawan.
C’mere, NMN. I’ll punch ya’. I’m that kinda girl.
Whoa! That’ll teach me not to show up on a Saturday.
Thanks, belatedly, for the punchin’!
A gay Star Wars orgy wasn’t QUITE worth getting out of bed for, but the snacks and drinks made the deal.
The Star Wars themed gay orgy wasn’t QUITE worth getting out of bed for, but the snacks and drinks made the deal.
Sorry about the double post!
If you had seen the umm, uncut, version of Velvet Goldmine, you’d know that McGregor does, indeed, have a lovely lightsaber.