dream cathers
K.SDJHFASKLDSDLSDKL/
SFDSLKDJFL’slasfdjngfnl/wk;ejfl/wdl/sdfjhepolasdjnfSDJFPPSJODP:alSKF:”aldkskd;ksd;lsdlskd”{?”PU( aw[kt{kpqL:”skS;P[kepw lewokwewkr
[qrewt}”{pw”4epkew -]]ewl]f[oe58e5225e8e645456+65
“I can’t quit you, Jack.”
Thanks, Thomas! (Who knew that sharks lived on Brokeback Mountain?)
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Brokeback Mountain? More like Brokeback Keyboard, amirite? EH??
But seriously, I do believe that’s a 768-bit Lutefisk encryption, which I happen to be an expert in. Running it through my extra-heavy-duty Crypto-nom decryption algorithm, which I have running on strong coffee for extra processing cycles, I’m coming up with this:
Pablum,
Rememeber that night in Lichtenstein? You bought us both nice pub food and some fine ale and you said, “Stew,” you said, “Stew, I feel like I’ve known you all my life, and I would like you to do me the honor of being a part of me for the rest of my life.” But just before I could answer someone kicked in the door of the pub and started shooting randomly at light fixtures. Everybody scattered and we got separated. We never managed to meet back up, Pablum, and I miss you, because I really need to know: Were you talking to me or the food?
I am enclosing the last picture that was taken of us in the hopes that you remember.
Love always, Stew.
Now, the names may not be quite correct — my algorithm has problems with arbitrary letter combinations, but I’m pretty sure it’s all quite accurate.
Hmmm, the translator in the orbiting cave of technological wonders came out with…
“Hey Cletus, does this horse make my ass look fat?”
I see what looks like ‘pew kapew!’ within the nonsense text. Must be sharks with lasers.
I’m pretty sure that’s just a coincidence — although I do see the name “Lewok Wewkr,” who was an obscure sculptor that preferred to work in the medium of broccoli. All he ever really sculpted were trees, though.
My favorite is the one where he melted the velveeta over the broccoli to represent volcanic inhumanity towards trees. Then, when he ate the installment, that was magic.
Ah yes, I remember that one. Quite brilliant. I believe he called that one “Man’s Inhumanity to Mangrove.”
Bright green, strangely phallic trees.
The gouda the bad and the broccoli.
“I dream of Cathers with the light brown horse…”
“I dream of catheters* with a light brown hose…”
*Probably not…
Iiiii’m dreeeaaaming of a cleeeaaaaan caaaatheter…
I know, I shouldn’t quit my day job….
…And speaking of my day job, I should get back to the project I was told has to be done by Monday. When was I told this? Oh yeah, Wednesday, two hours before the office closed. Hmmm….
Also, am I the only one that initially read the ad title and thought it said “Dream catheters” and thought “that would be a nightmare”?
No, not the only one…
Ooh dream catheters
I believe you won’t let me wet me through the night
Ooh dream catheters
I believe I can drain in the morning, alright
The dream catheters
They live inside of my head
The dream catheters
They don’t let me wet my bed
The dream catheters
They’re put there to collect pee, oh no
Well, no, my first thought was indignance that they’d impune Lisp that way
;| Except that |;
(defun gobbledegook (Gibberish)
(if (command *decompile Gibberish)
(foreach k gibberish (prin1 k)) ;true condition
(princ “\nThis is is Gibberish! Die!Sparky,Die!”) ;else coondition
);end if
(while (/= 0 (getvar “CMDACTIVE”))(command))
(done_dialog)(close_dialog)
(GC)
(princ)
);end defun
;| its a not a speech or language defect |;
Oh look. It’s Capn’s secret cookie recipe.
Nope, none of my cookie recipes are secret (most are from a box as is <sigh>).
I am, however, excessively fluent in the computer language, LISP, abused above (there’s no subr “*decompile”), so, loading that fragment up and running it would give a fascinating error message.
*blink* I’m up late enough that YSaC posted?
*blinks again* Apparently I need to go to bed… This ad is entirely gibberish….
Uh-uh, young lady. You know as well as I do that the ad never makes sense. You’re going to need a better excuse than that if you want to sleep of that turkey hangover.
I’d like a little sleep of that turkey that bit me, please.
Didn’t Poe write that?
“Sleep, those little slices of breast; Oh how I teethed them.”
It’s scary when you have the same thought as TypoTaco.
:*-(
Imagne when being him is like. *Shudder*
Isn’t Imagne a cocktail made from champagne and Irish whiskey?
It’s a Tommy Hilfiger musk.
Between Obsession and Compulsion lies Imagne.
I read that as iMange, a common, yet serious problem that affects virtual dogs.
I think I need a TARDIS to imagne when being a Taco/Typo is like.
Re-TARDIS
😀
Is that like when you do the time warp…again?
Just replace the word “time” with the word “mind” and you are correct.
“Sleep of the turkey” Phrase, Italian. When the mob tryptophans you to death.
Bwa-ha-ha, I know… my problem was that I slept very lightly from 10pm to 2am, had a bolus of caffeine at 3:30, went to Kmart at 4am to stand in line outside till 5, wandered around the store for an hour, dropped off my sister in law, and got home around 6:45… Yeah, there was some “specialness” going on in my head.
And now to finish the last bit of Thanksgiving cleaning, and figure out how I’m going to rearrange my living room to fit a Christmas tree!
(Did I miss any drunk posting yesterday?)
Crap, the CL ad broke the formatting.
Hey, that’s OUR thing!
I fixed a few syntax errors and it compiled just fine using Lisp.
It prints, “Hello Asshat!”
I definitely read the title as “dream catheters”.
The weirdest thing is that my first thought wasn’t, “what the hell is a dream catheter?”, it was “why would you need more than one dream catheter?”
In case the first one breaks?
Multiple bladder syndrome?
Art supplies?
Christmas gifts?
See, there is lots to do with a catheter.
“The following picture is an example of the type of image that will never get into your head if you use our dream catchers! They only allow awesome dreams of sharks and puppies (not together; everyone knows that sharks and puppies don’t get along) to get through. DREAM CATHERS!”
don’t mind me; i think my head is about to explode due to illness. non-ill me will not be held accountable for any random thoughts i have (and post here).
People are bored. Post all random thoughts.
Otherwise, I’ll have to break out the legos and tinker toys. And HamCan and Typo always fight over the blue pieces.
Put that down! That’s not edible!
But blue is the best flavour!
I’m glad you opted for Legos and not the erector set.
I’ll tell a wonderful story:
Once upon a Thanksgiving break, NonsensicalCat, aka Miss Cat, needed to write several weeks worth of lesson plans, 2 5-page essays on The Faerie Queene, and a paper on the definition of giftedness and how it’s complicated by race and learning disabilities and other factors. However, her head wanted to explode, so instead she dabbled on the Internet and ate chicken fingers and watched things like Dollhouse and Stardust.
And now she wants to play with legos.
Theeeeeeee End.
That was an awesome story. I liked the part about the mutant ninja monkeys best!
I’m glad you picked up on those. Because they’re ninjas, they can’t appear directly in the story. But I tried really hard to have their story come through.
I’ve had an odd desire to play with lincoln logs all week.
But, that might be the holiday season, and rememberance of childhood, of being at one of the grandparent’s houses and being given the big tub of lincoln log parts to amuse myself with, to be out of the way.
This is why we don’t let the horses (or is that mine hors) type the ads. Hoof typing is the new mug typing.
My 15 minutes of fame are over.
err
jmyh 1qt5 jmi8 hnutgedsx okrfv cfqazjmed azq5re4 0o fv3e4r;.
Can’t help but feel bad for the dog food on the right. That looks like a pretty hefty dude.
The one on the left, however, is a real horse’s ass
“Does this sleeveless troglodyte make my ass look fat?”
If I answer honestly, are you going to hurt me?
That’s not dog food, that’s old Elmer, Elmer G. Lou.
“I own a mansion and a yacht.”
This is what happens when someone sticks you with a dream catheter without your permission.
Welcome, Everyone, to Dream Cathers Ranch. Your cabins are up that lovely trail through the pines, and are furnished with all the comforts of home: a fireplace for cooking and heating, an outhouse, and your own vermin infestation for entertainment. We will expect you down at the barn at 7 AM every morning, rain or shine, to help muck out the stalls and brush down the hoof stock. Watch your backs with Cletus, don’t let him trap you in the loose box.
(I could go on, but my catheter needs to be emptied)
In German, “c” is a sibilant, and ‘s’ or ‘z’ sort of sound; “th” is dentilated into a “t” sound (Ludwig von’s name is BAY Toe fen in German).
That makes “cather” Seh TEAR is we use German, which is rather close to “satyr” and the implications of Rancho Satyr with the photo the spambot* included, wander, well, off the reservation . . .
________________________________
*Almost more frightening than a spambot would be if this is “butt dialed” off some sat-upon black-n-blueberry phone. The photo, for one, the last-email-sent being to CL, or the last subject line being Dam Satyrs . . .
Sigh.
This is probably the slowest workday of the year. Come on folks, more snark! I need amusement! Lurkers, this is your chance to shine! Why can’t I stop using exclamation points!?!?!!!
I know, right! Sometimes I start shouting and I can’t stop! Oh gods, why am I shouting?!
It’s catching!! I can’t stop shouting! HELP ME!!!
MARCO!
GROUCHO!
SYBIL!
BVNBVN!
FREE!
*GASP!*
Moooooom Limey said a naughty word!
*bribes TM with a lime margarita*
Are you crazy? Do you want everyone to find out?
*Click*
:Sigh:
*Click*
:Sigh:
*Click…Click*
:Sigh:
Look, man, no matter how many times you press it, you will not receive bacon. Just hot air.
I might have scared a few young ladies in the restroom at the movie theater the other night. They were being anoyingly young, so I started furiously hitting the dryer button and muttering, “Gimmie my bacon!”
If we could post pictures in these comments, this is where I’d post one of those “Who’s awesome? You’re awesome!” pics.
Skidoosh!
I whooshy-fingered this post. That’s why it is such a mess.
I almost (almost) wish we had trolls today, so I could edit something.
LimeLolly, what’s whooshy-finger mean?
Taco, christina, hold it down! Some of us are still sleeping of the turkey.
Hammy, when was the last time you cleaned that orbiting cave? What are all these magazines laying on the computer consoles?
Mindfield, please pick up your writing implements so the cats don’t eat them.
From Kung Fu Panda.. which was on tv last night.
Ah. Enjoyed that movie muchly. Thanks.
Um, Windrose, we’ve been holding it down for a while now. Can we let it up again? I can’t tell if it’s still breathing.
Oh, all right! Put it back in its cage, please.
Oh, okay, fine.
*picks up crayons*
*eats one*
You ate the blue one, didn’t you. *sigh*
*looks abashed*
I thought it would taste like blueberries.
“And the snozzberries taste like snozzberries.”
Hammy is in the box again! Thank goodness we finally got him trained. Just ignore any little accidents.
I think I may have started breaking the code here. I’ve run this sad little story through translationparty.com and it tells an entirely different story than dream catheters.
The first part “K.SDJHFASKLDSDLSDKL/ SFDSLKDJFL’slasfdjngfnl/wk;ejfl”
actually translated to this:
“The k – SDJHFASKLDSDLSDKL / SFDSLKDJFL’slasfdjngfnl / week; ejfl”. Not much change so that must be close to what they meant.
Now the second part “/wdl/sdfjhepolasdjnfSDJFPPSJODP:alSKF:”aldkskd;ksd;lsdlskd”{?”PU( aw[kt{kpqL:”skS;P[kepw lewokwewkr” this is actually really meaningful…. It comes off as:
“/ Wdl / sdfjhepolasdjnfSDJFPPSJODP: alSKF: “aldkskd; The KSD; lsdlskd” {? “You you please refer to the No (click to give your violation, your choices kpqL either side of one of his free time, PU was AW I:” – SKS is The car, P wave of lewokwewkr kepw suggested that the”
You see? It does contain secret embedded psycho-messages. “Click to give your violation” seems somewhat suggestive.
The last bit “[Qrewt} “{Week” 4epkew -]] ewl] f the [oe58e5225e8e645456 65″ comes out mostly the same so its some phone number I think.
There is another theory though. Putting the last two lines in together come up with this highly suggestive bit of literature:
The SKS carbine carbine weak {car, “4epkew {kpqL” Kabinbinbin is, lewokwewkr [Search] button [P bottle, [Yes] selected, [OK] and then click Yes, and then click Yes ] Even click OK], [yes] Please click thanks: Well, please click. [OK], click, [OK] button, click Yes, click, click, click, click, click, click Yes, click, click, click, “qrewt} kepw click – directions [File] menu [Oe58e5225e8e645456 65 ewl friends]
I leave it up to the readers to decide on how they wish to interpret the wisdom contained in the last two lines.
Yes, click, click, click, don’t stop, not yet, clickclickclickclick– ewl!
Ahem. Just a guess.
Exactly my thoughts Windrose! I thought it was just me with a filthy mind.. 😀
My wife tells me that “double clicking” is a euphemism for something naughty.
I can’t for the life of me figure out what it might be for though.
*Angelic look of innocence*
Oh, so this is cheat code for the Virtual Cap City! Cool!
I am reminded of Monica on “Friends” and her exposition on the erogenous zones:
Start with a little one, some two, maybe a four here and there, five it up a bit, then work the three, the three, the three, Oh, things are happening, six! six! Eight, eight, seven, eight, seven, (panting now) Sevensevenseven sevensevenseven SEVEN! SEVEN! SEVEN! (fainter) seven seven seven… (Holds up five fingers on one hand and two fingers on the other and shakes her hands).
I know I’m badly misquoting, but you get the picture.
I think that’s what Typo was doing above [click, click, click, click]
Hmmm Maybe Typo created the ad on Craigslist? This seems all too clear now…
:reads ad:
:looks at picture:
:blinks:
:reads ad again:
I’ve heard of butt-dialing but never butt-CraigsList-posting.
Normally they just butthead-CL post. Sparky’s lost his head.
He left the catheters in too long. Lost circulation.
So the dumbass has a numb ass?
Word Association Time!
Leftovers.
Leftovers – Calendar
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F
Calendar – Salsa Dancing
Salsa dancing – fresh green freezer salsa. Yumm…
Right unders
south paw
My therapist made me play this game. I wasn’t very good at it and every time I gave an incorrect answer she would spank me with her hair brush.
Mayonnaise!
You can put it on all leftovers and it becomes a salad!
Mayo — Clinic!
Clinic- Test Results
Mayonnaise — HamCan!
We have to get married now ya know…
Mayonnaise not a lot of people online tonight.
Sorry, Hammy, already married… and I may be Mormon but I’m not crazy-splinter-cultish :-p
Crazy- Splinter — Ninja Turtles.
Ooo, I got this one!
Ninja turtles – my sister-in-law’s nutso roommate
Of all the times to not hit any red lights on the way home. I followed a Ford F-150 that had an American flag and a decal that said “Bees”. I tried so hard to get a picture.
Hey, maybe that guy did sell his truck after all! Or maybe the bees were driving. Was there a little triangular caution sign in the rear window that said “Larvae on board”?
Halloo. I am caaallling you! Can you see me noooow? Have you any channngggge?
*listens to echo in the room*
I love big empty rooms.
One turn of the handle and you enter in
To a long forgotten world within
Dusted mementos of the past
Presenting a stark contrast
There was once life within this room
Now a cold and empty tomb
A picture of the one hangs on the wall
Begging eyes say it all
A watchful keeper of once finer things
She hangs there by her wired string
Surveying all that once was right
Ever present day and night
She sees what she has left behind
She’d like to have the time to rewind
Back to where the dried rose lived
A single symbol of her love to give
Frog_first
‘Coon mock mock’ (says my 5 year old) I have no idea what it means, but it seemed appropriate.
Has your 5-year-old been watching the Swedish Chef recently?
Sadly… no.
He’s just my child. A fact I’m reminded of every time I hear my cuss words come out of his mouth.
Sorry, I got roped into shopping. I’m trying to clear the popstar Christmas tunes from my head by sticking it in the toilet and flushing. If that doesn’t work, I’m Googling Christmas lyrics as misheard by kids.
Joy to the world, the lord has gum!
Wait, you’re saying all is not corn and rice?
Don’t know about the corn, but Santa has the rice:
He’s making a list,
of chicken and rice.
Heh… do-it-yourself swirlies. Does it work?
Absolutely!
Here’s an appropriate Christmas mondegreen for this group:
Get dressed ye merry gentleman,
let nothing through this hay.
Remember Christ our saviour was bored on this one day.
And another part of my earlier song:
And Kevin and Rachael sing!
HamCan, as soon as you are done cleaning the orbiting cave of technological wonders and pron magazines, come get this. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Wyoming!
FHGGFHDGF?nbvjkhvjv?{ssdf?”-]]