YSaC, Vol. 861: YSaC’s Waterloo.
Well, it’s Thanksgiving, and you know what Thanksgiving always makes me think of? Swedish bands singing in English about the Mexican Revolution. (I know, it’s such a cliché, but we all have Thanksgiving traditions.)
So today, on the most holy of Swedish-English-Mexican song days, I bring you the songstress, Patricia. Can you hear the drums, Patricia?
Patricia
HELLO I AM SELLING A BRAND NEW CANER TOP IT IS BLUE I AM SELLING IT FOR &60 AND I HAVE A HOT WATER HEATER IT IS 19 GALLING IT IS 7 MOUTH’S OLD BEEN USA FOR 2 MOUTH I AM SALE THEM FOR &75 EACH AND IF YOU ARE INSERTING YOU CAN EMAIL ME AT patricia.xxx@gmail.com OR CALL ME AT XXX-XXX-XXXX THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME PATRICIA,
Can you spare the time, Patricia?
I remember long ago, another hot water heater like this
It had a pilot light, Patricia
There was one of them and both of them cost 75 ampersands each.
I could hear the distant sound
Of the hot water heater galling for seven mouths.
There was something in your ad today
A name you say, Patricia
You’ve been selling things non-stop,
A caner top, Patricia
Though I never thought that I would need
A caner top
If I had to read the ad again
I would, my friend, Patricia.
Thanks for the ad, Brandy! Now, for the rest of you … go spend time with your family. Yes, you have to.
I’ve had some irritating and annoying water heaters, but one that is galling? No wonder they want to get rid of it.
Seven mouth’s old what? Teeth? Dental floss? Tongue scraper? That’s a lot of dental detritus.
But worst of all:
Actually, I think I’ll be a little busy for that, Patricia, and my boyfriend will definitely be too busy.
If that’s what you want, you should be posting in the Personals section …
She wants email meat. Seems like pron to me.
I don’t really need a blue caner* top, and sixty ampersands is a little steep …
How about fifteen asterisks and a dozen firm obos?
*Best guess? “Camper top”
It’s a top made from sugar cane. Replaces the hair shirt for the devout types.
My best guess was counter top, but that is inexplicable in it’s own way.
That what I guessed too, but it doesn’t really help.
I got a too from a brand called Caner. Hmmm. Perhaps a nap.
Say it with a short A and a thick Texas accent. I get “counter” this way.
**grabs gravy-covered popcorn, waits for incoherent story time from the resident Texan.**
Yer wish is my cowmand, Astro:
Ya see, caner tops are them things what you have in yer kichum where ya put cher fud while yeh preparin’ it. Now, y’all dun know this, but we Texans need us some bigger caner tops than you Yanks cos everthins bigger’n Texas. We dun need no claptrap swingsets fer dressin’ up varmint. We just slap them badboys up’n on them gighugic caner tops and season ’em whole. Then we put ’em in our smokers for ’bout three days ’till the meats fall off the bones. This makes a rights mess, which is why we need water heaters with more gallings fer t’ hose down the mess. And seven mouths. Need them. mouths fer eatin’. Y’aller jes’ jealous.
*apologies to Cap’n, CJ, and any lurkers that may be in my neck o’ the woods.
Oh. So the poster moved to the USA from Texas. Interesting…
Considering the theme of Texas independence that surrounded this year’s elections, yes. There are many here who believe the Republic of Texas is it’s own sovereign state.
Christina: In my head I can hear that being read by Billy Bob Thornton’s character in Sling Blade. uhm-hmm
Awesome Cap’n, my mother’s name is Patricia and hates when people call her Trish. I’m totally calling her Trixie, over the phone, from a safe distance of 1200 miles.
Oh, so that’s how you nested above the comment <mild, but satisfied surprise>
Brain refuses to come up with the Spanish diminutive (like “nacho” for Ignacio, and Rafe for Javier/Xavier).
Pushing maternal buttins probably significantly safer by way of phone and at least a day’s travel time.
Ohh, the rain is here; means the front will be not long after. Was 78º; supposed to drop to 40’s before heading to 35º tomorrow morning.
Potatoes (for mashed) are on the stove. Will build a casserole after, with yesterday’s cornbread.
That nesting fail was my own doing. If mom was doing the whallopin, this comment would likely land on a cheeseburger site.
Sitting in the mid thirties right now. Wouldn’t be so bad if yesterday’s high wasn’t 84.
Will be interesting to see the fashion Fails that will be about this evening, as I go to find a place with the game on.
Weather prognosis is for anothe batch of rain to fire up between Marlin and Hearne about eight or so–will have to see if it presses down this way.
Loouks like it was middlng-exciting weather over towards Penguin’s way.
Through head to desktop induction, and some convective thinking, I believe Patsy wants us to buy here counter-top Aquarium of 17 gallon (2¼ cu.ft 64l), for which Trissy also has a blue-coloured water heater.
That’s a flat-out guess, y’hear? Coul’ be Trixie m’aht be sellin’ some ot’er kine’a counter-top a-plia-ance, one a’which is blue and is 17 gallons (an’ tha’s a big ol’ sombrero, even dahn t’touris’ joints onna Riverwalk in San”tone).
Trini could, just could, be talking about an under-counter (“unner-caner”?) water heater, but those are usually 15 or 20 gallon (US) and almost always an off-white color. Having installed a few of these, the sort of semi-permanent connections do not suggest an item easily marketed, even on CL (unless Pats’ beau amor is a meth-addled house ‘salvage-er’).
My head hurts (bad sinuses); abba ear worms and one too many texts on Maxmillian I and Napoleon III are not helping. That, and I’ve run out of diminutives for Patrice.
What, no Patty-Cake?
I don’t have to spend any time with my family because I am not from the US. 😀
Although I want to listen to some Abba now.
That’s no excuse to avoid your family. Unless your name is really Patricia.
*stares at Claire suspiciously*
And by deduction, not from Canada, because they have already had Thanksgiving last month. I’m sure you would be sharing tales of woe should you have been there and done that. 8)
I’m totally digging today’s earworm and have a sudden urge to watch Muriel’s Wedding.
I love that movie, much better use of ABBA music than Mama Mia.
Thank you, kelli. You’re my Thanksgiving girl crush.
I want to spend time with my family today. But, as they’re 3000 miles away, I’m spending today with a few friends who are also far from home…my substitute family. 🙂
Well, at least she spelled her name correctly. And bonus to her for getting it right all 3 times.
Lou, who are you kidding? Everyone here knows her name is really ‘Ralph’.
I think someone opened the Wild Turkey a little early today.
Happy Thanksgiving. Don’t forget to be thankful for our YSaC family.
Put It On Craigslist
by Freda Stare
If it’s blue and you don’t know where to sell your
Caner top, then I must insist
Put it on Craigslist
If you’ve got a hot water heater or two
Galling you nineteen, don’t resist
Put it on Craigslist
Selling for a mere sixty ampersands
Only seven mouths old in America
(Call Patricia!)
You can sale them if people are inserting
Just send a note and you’ll assist
Sell it on Craigslist
Just give out your personal details
Maximize the chance for spam E-Mails
(Bales and bales!)
But just note that if you ad stinks you’ll end up
Immortalized, snarked up and dissed
On You Suck at Craigslist
I’m hearing the Gene Wilder/Peter Boyle version of this. PUTITONCRAIGSLIST!
Happy T, everybody! I’m thankful for you all, and for having this place to come and snark 🙂
Awesome movie, and that version is highly appropriate for this place.
PUTITONCRAGLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!
LaKitta has an avvie! I am thankful we have one more avvie to admire. 🙂
And it’s adorable!
Save the turkeys… eat more fish.
This message brought to you by Turkey Savers Amnesty.
Save the fishes, eat people.
Brought to you by the Line Obliteration Entendre Committee.
PSA from the “Natural Food Conservancy”
Bee Healthy – Eat Your Honey.
Gramps, you rascal you! Lets get you back over the line:
I eat my peas with honey;
I’ve done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife…….
But, choose the sustainable fish, like trout, salmon and the like–even tilapia, for fried.
Very likely the “Pilgrims” ate lobster, salt cod, atlantic trout along with periwinkles, clams, and mussels. Along with deer, possum, raccoon, goose, duck, pigeon, and the like–anything that could be potted, spitted, or roasted.
This eating turkey is actually an affectation for those eschewing the honest taste of game. The all-too-like-chicken, nearly-all-white meat turkey is a strange thing to be, culinarily thinking. I’ll use roast turkey legs, but a whole ‘butterball’? Furgetaboutit.
All yelling *and* no pausing for breath? That is one talented singer.
Happy Thanksgiving to all. I’m not sure I’ll be able to visit the Snark Lounge much over the weekend, so everyone enjoy the time off (if you have it) and have a lovely weekend.
But the position has been filled, we here at MegaDrugCo require that our test subjects only use the experimental drugs we supply.
Thank you drmk for the best commentary EVER.
And a disturbingly enjoyable earworm.
Hmm, drmk, you must know my family. Swedish Mexican Americans. From Canada. Happy Feasting, and may your family time be cheerful and bright. Be thankful for the love of your kin, even when their point of view is beyond your understanding. I’m thankful to them for getting you to today, so you can come and snark!
“THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME”
That last line stirred something deep my memory…I knew I recognized Patricia’s English!
She’s my best friend when I call customer support.
Her ads are just as helpful as her tech. advice over the phone.
Googling “Caner” brings no resolution to the problem. Here are definitions though.
1. Signifies an entity that canes, based on the verb cane.[Eve – graph theoretic]
1a. Beat with a cane.[Wordnet].
2. To beat with a cane.[Websters].
3. To make or furnish with cane or rattan; as, to cane chairs.[Websters].
4. Base verb from the following inflections: caning, caned, canes, caner, caners, caningly and canedly
Ignore me, just testing my phone. 🙂
Ignore me, I’m just testing my keyboard and monitor. 8)
🙂 🙂 🙂 😉 🙂
(ignore me, I’m just testing my emoticons.) 🙂
Ignore me I’m testing comment nesting.
Nesting? Whoohoo!
Ignore me, I’m just testing my posting errors.
Ignore me, I’m just testing my ability to type.
Pay attention to me!!
Ignore me. I’m testicating.
Ignore me ignoring you ignoring me.
Nice tie in with today’s Abba theme, Hammy.
Ignoring me, ignoring you.
Snark is something we should do.
I sense an ignormus problem developing here……….
Gihugic even
Ignore me, I’m testing my ability to ignore people ignoring other people testing things which they want everyone to ignore.
Your ignoring ignored ignoring is ignored
Eek, the 400 error ignored my posted comment–silly tesselated tesseract . . .
Ignore me, I might be drunk after making Thanksgiving dinner for thirteen people.
That’s my preference, too, right about 10-11, best be a nice bottle of red with supper, and port for afters.
Oh, and I’ll want a slice of that razor-sharp cheddar with my pie.
A Special, Touching, Hallmark Special Production for Thanksgiving:
Crossing The Line
With apologies to Tommy James
Making a comment seems a hard on,
Quiet time shirts we don’t want to don,
We dig bewbs and the smiles on our cumpets, fine,
I’m crossing the line. (Crossing the line)
My friend Hammy likes Pam and Mayo,
Cap’n is typing, what did he say? Oh!
Shoulder-knees make Grampdaddy all warm inside,
Crossing the line. (Crossing the line)
Taco’s fine, his typos bring peace of mind
We’re gonna spend some time
On Craigslist, it’s good times.
Crossing the line. (Crossing the line)
Llama-nun, Ostrimu, bees are shiny!
Snark Lounge with flasks, Lola shares so freely,
AR, CJ, LRC, and a Dude with Bombs.
Crossing the line. (Crossing the line)
Crossing the line. (Crossing the line)
Taco’s fine, his typos bring peace of mind
We’re gonna spend some time
On Craigslist, it’s good times.
Crossing the line. (Crossing the line)
So what’s been in the USA for “2 mouth” ? The hot water heater or Patricia?
7 mouths, but only 2 in the US? Where did it spend the rest of its time? I CANNOT OWN AN ITEM I DO NOT KNOW THE HISTORY OF.
Also: *wave* I’m new here! LOVE ME! OR I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU!
New? But I swear I’ve seen that
cowoxhorned beast before…LIES AND SLANDER!
Pay no attention to this heathen, she knows not of my purity!
You look familiar.
Were you ever on the Maury Povich show?
You’re confusing me with the ladies of ill repute with bad weave, methinks. Someone as pure as I would never be caught on (or viewing) such a lecherous show!
arallyn.. you’ve been gone too long (4 mouths too long). 🙂
We need purity brought back to the snark lounge. Everyone keeps chasing the line away.
So, pay no attention to this comment from earlier this year?
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3972#comment-27387
Arallyn just doesn’t want us to remember her hamburger comment from holidays past.
Shhhhh christina found out my secret, but I don’t want it aired! Anyway, this Thanksgiving was successfully navigated without any major consequence…I kept stopping drinking and then getting alcohol headaches, but the only real trouble encountered this year was excessive cayenne neufchatel chive crackers prior to real food…
I still feel like Creosote from Monty Python D:
“It is but a wafer-thin mint, sir!”
I CANNOT LOVE A USER I DO NOT KNOW THE HISTORY OF.
Also, the laws of physics state that I cannot be annihilated, only have my formed changed. ff you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
But welcome to the snark lounge anyway. We will see about this love thing after we’ve had a few drinks and tipped a few cows.
Aye – A Highland cow or kyloe – an ancient Scottish breed of beef. Scientific tests carried out on Highland Beef by the Scottish Environmental Studies demonstrate convincing evidence that Highland Beef is Significantly lower in Fat and Cholesterol, and higher in Protein and Iron than any other beef!
Mmmmmmm
arallyn – I think I love you……..But I wanna know for sure!
That’s because their fur keeps them insulated, so they don’t need body fat deposits! I <3 Kyloes. They're as ornery as the worst Texas Longhorn and as tough as any Shetland pony. My dude says they're unsettlingly fitting to my personality :p
arallyn – You’re the most mangiest beef I ever tried to cut into. You just get out there and make us some burgers. Ah – AMORE’
Well, tonight, the worst of the texas longhorns are pretty quiet.
Wonder who Mack Brown will throw under the bus this week?
Happy Thanksgiving all! I am very thankful for my YSaC fambly and the snark they bring to me on a daily basis. Even though I’ve been busy lately and have therefore been lurking more than commenting, know that I am here and enjoying the snark just as much as ever. ♥ ♥ ♥
I read, I smiled, I handed out doors.
I shall now wish you all a fantastic day and toddle off. <3
Holiday hijinxs part 1: Thanksgiving day is not the best time to find out your oven was destroyed by the mouse that took up residency last month. About to find out if Lowes is open today…
Good Luck!
Waiting for part Two . . .
Lowes was not, but Kroger was so we have pumpkin pie. Fake turkey will cook in the convection oven and everything else can be made stovetop so for now, the holiday is safe. Stay tuned though, it’s still early.
The sad part is that you’re inferring that you haven’t used your oven for a month…
Not even frozen pizza?
I rarely use the oven. The convection or toaster oven works fine for most of our meals. But tomorrow, while I’m stuck at work, my husband is tasked with finding a new stove because my birthday is Monday and I’ll be damned if I’m not having triple chocolate espresso lava cake.
Well, my oven works, only cost ya’ a slice or two <G>
Will be my dad’s b-day, too.
Just finished watching the Macys parade, pretending I saw Astro in every marching band. (blackberry wanted to make that Castro, whom I did not see marching in the parade.) Turkey is in oven. Mr. Tank is killing zombies on the computer. The Tanklet expected later.
I wish a Happy Holiday to all, and am quite thankful cor you, my Stark Lounge peeps. And I give thanks for all those on the line keeping us safe today.
That wasn’t Castro, it was Santa Claus
Don’t ignore me, I’m ignoring my family to un-ignore you :).
(Thanks, Moira and Cap’n. I need to get on a desktop to properly crop but it felt like it was time to graduate from quilt squares.)
Ok. Back to drinking- I mean “quality family time.”
Oven turned itself off. Dinner will be closer to 4 than the planned 3. Hope the rollercoaster of temp doesn’t make the turkey have the texture of a basketball. Otherwise we’re heading to christina’s for convection cooked tofurkey.
Historical trivia, since the day is apt.
Napoleon Bonaparte, one he became Emperor, put his brother Joseph on the throne of Spain. Joe was many things, a good steward of far-flung colonies, he was not. Argentina, Peru, Chile, all became quite restless. New Spain, no less than any of the others.
An upstart Irishman name of Wellsley put paid to Joseph in Spain, and later, his brother in Belgium in a town near the French (Franch for you sparkies) border.
The restored Spanish monarchy had problems enough at home; they probably should have mended more fences overseas, rather than seeing the far-off colonies as a treasure chest to raid to replace the lost and squandered Spanish treasury.
Figures emerge like Bernardo O’Higgins, in Chile; Simón Bolívar in Peru; Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla in Mexico. So, there was much crazy-making for a while.
Nappy was exiled off to the South Atlantic. Later the Hapsburgs, being both over-rich and over-inbread could not help but meddle in politics (every other debauchery debased by having been tried before). This brought out Napoleion III, and dear of Maxmillian, given the Republic of Mexico as an Empire. Which did not do so well. Other than to raise up Juarezistas and Villaños and to give the Foriegn Legion it’s marching tune, Camerone, from the ignominious squandering of the Legion’s troops there. Nappy III backed out, Ferdie-Max wound up in front of a wall, and Presidente Juárez, took over.
Now, just don’t ask ant Swedes about the Norske, and all should be good <G>
Casserole is ready, yum; went from 77-78º at 1300 to 47º(40ºWC) just now (1640). Omward, mes amies y amigos!
(This bit is also fun to try to read to the tune of Fernando. Or it’s time to put the wine away. Either way, it Is time for me to roll off toward bed.)
Which is a unique sort of juxtaposition–while writing it, all i could hear in my head is the Legion’s 1/6 time dirge, Camerone. Not the least bit pop or swedish at all.
Comments read, doors disseminated. Tomorrow I probably won’t even have time to lurk, but for the next two weeks I will probably only be able to lurk, as I will be in the land of Call Center tech support for two weeks (“Hello, Thank you for calling (insert company name here), My name is Bob, how may I be helping you today?”). I will read. laugh and pressure wash my sinuses with whatever alcoholic beverage is at hand after work, but as I will be in an opposing time zone, you will all be happily snoozing or just on your way to start your new day as I do.
See you in two weeks!!
We’ll miss you! Come back to us!
Bombdude, you were my lucky charm this evening. I was losing pretty badly at the casino, but then I found a bomb themed machine and made my money back and then some.
Also seen at the casino, a game called Luck Lions. I’m sure I don’t need to tell any of you that the animal pictured on the game was not.a.lion.
Happy Thanksgiving American friends. That is all.
I don’t expect Camille will get to drop in this evening, and while it’s only 7:00 pm here on the left coast, it’s (four time zones, divided by the emperor of Spain, plus a lot of casseroles, minus one broken oven) a lot later in the east. So I am going to Punchity Punch Punch! the little bear, and wish everyone again, Happy Thanks Living.
G’Night, Plymouth, You Rock!
Thanks, Windrose! I went all day without noticing I was in the box! Happy Thanksgiving to all.
It’s a little late, but Happy Thanksgiving to all! I’m thankful for the snark available every day from all y’all.
Hope you yanks had a good Thanksgiving. We had ours last month, so we’ve been all about Christmas since the beginning of November (we segue straight into it from Halloween). I like the longer Christmas season though. But then I like Christmas.
But anyway, try not to sink into a tryptophan-induced coma.
*Runs around and around and around with various cousins and niece and nephews*
Oh my god, my head is killing me, but I had fun, Happy Thanksgiving all!