YSaC, Vol. 847 – I’m on a – wait, what the hell IS this?
2010 November 11
From regular sarajean come two posts from the same metropolitan area, but different neighborhoods, five months apart. Same person or different? You decide.
Free Boat no motor
I have a boat in my yard that I need gone and small holes in it from target practicing but can be used for whatever you like there is no motor or anything with it.. If you want it please let me know thanks
>>>>FREE BOAT <<<<
~boat is free, it’s not a joke, the glass is broke
~it’s got no seats or motor either, great project, a child pleaser.~Bring your trailer and a winch…..take it away! I wont even flinch.
Yep, nothing makes me want a decrepit, bullet-ridden shell of a boat like bad rhyme.
Cool! A free Submarine…
Sammiches?
Yes, with Swiss cheese!
Peppered even.
“Shot it full of holes;
like it was eaten by moles,
It won’t go, cause it’s got no mo’
Now it’s beached like a leech…”
Unfortunately, I could go on.
Dr. Suess sells his boat
It will not float
Not with a goat
Not in a moat
He shot at his old, crappy boat, and now thinks someone would be willing to buy it from him? No one would be stupid enough to-
“Hey look Billy! An awesome boat! Let’s git it!”
“But Bo, we can’t swim, and it don’t got no injin.”
“Well, if it ain’t got no injin, then it can’t go inter the wata. That means, we wuldnta need ta swim.”
“Wow, you always were the smarterer one, Billy.”
Motor boat, motor boat go so slow
Motor boat, motor boat go so medium
Motor boat, motor boat go so fast
Ya gotta step on the gas
*engine sounds*
bbbbbbrrrrrrrrr bbbbbbrrrrrrr bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr
Isn’t that the sound the other kind of motorboating makes, too?
(I’ve seriously had some kind of “motorboating” joke fomenting in my head all day. That was somewhat inadequate, but I’ll take it.)
“Shot through the hull,
and you’re to blame,
you give boats a bad name”.
Not apologizing for this one.
Nor should you! Bravo!
Damn, those Bon Jovi earworms never go away, though.
Child pleaser? Because everyone knows how much children love tetanus and staph. I mean, anything for a sick day right?
It’s Munchausen-by-proxy:
“Sorry boss, can’t come to work, my kid’s got Ebola.”
Doors for everyone! Great start to the morning, snarkers.
Isn’t a boat with holes just called … junk?
Where I come from it’s called an anchor.
Or an artificial habitat…
I call it a fine representation of man’s inhumanity towards … um … boats?
Isn’t that a reef? I guess Sparky isn’t selling them anymore and has decided to give it away.
You need one big arse door to hang that reef on…
Intentional boat pun, AR? If so, nicely done!
I think “junk” is racist* now.
*this is shit stirring Thursday, isn’t it?
Well, as James Bond insists, better stirred, not shaken.
With all due bees to Mr. Bond, I don’t see the sure superiority of stirred shit over shaken shit.
Shaking shit is messier. If you stir carefully, it’s easy to keep it in the container.
Your logic is legitimate if you lack a lid.
Even with a lid – if you shake it, it gets on the lid, then you have to clean it off. Harder to lick the lid than to lick the spoon. : P
Oh, licking. Oh, no. You win. And I’m out of alliteration.
New from Mickey D’s The McFeces*
*Same old flavor different name.
…Aaaaand there goes my appetite for dinner.
(Late night infomercial, after reruns of YSaC: Snark Attack:
But wait, there’s more! With this patented weight-loss program, you’ll never be hungry again! It combines the best of anorexia nervosa and anorexia bulemia, without all those pesky body image issues!*
*This may not actually be true. Consult a doctor before starting this, or any, weight loss regimen. Do not taunt the happy fun weight loss regimen. Your mileage may vary. Results not typical. Consult a lawyer before listening to this ad.)
I wish I could take credit for something that clever, but no. I was going for something like anchor, and just couldn’t quite make the right connections in my brain.
AR – Never – I repeat – never admit something like this. Instead, reply, “Oh, Meej, you were the only one sharp enough to catch my pun – I’m so glad you did!”
*This is how I maintain my mystique of brilliance with the first graders.*
Your first graders may buy it, but I’m giving the regulars here more credit. I didn’t think anyone would believe me anyway, so decided to go with honesty.
It’s not integrity as much as dignity. If I think I can get away with the lie, then sure I’ll go with it. But if I think I’ll just look silly trying to pull of a lie everyone know is just a lie, I save a little dignity by not even trying. Or at least, that’s how I see it…
Edit: Hey, edit’s back! Also, this is above the comment to which it is responding because Grampdaddy replied to the wrong comment. And that’s the truth. ; )
I think for all the times many of us have probably made intentional puns that no one caught, we should get credit for the unintentional ones that someone DID catch. 😉
Sure, sure – AR. Honesty. Really? You know what they say – honesty is the last refuge of those with integrity!
*Wanders away mumbling something about “people with principles”…*
Oohh…this will be a perfect sandbox for my yard!
With bonus broken glass! Kids just love shiny things, right?
Remember that SNL skit with Danny Akroyd as the CEO of the toy company that sold the Bag-O-Glass for kids?
Yeah, me neither…bet it was funny, though.
I bet it was at least as funny. as that ‘im on a boat ‘ skit that I nwver saw.
Yep…but not nearly as hilarious as the “let’s get small” skit starring Steve Martin that I totally missed.
Eric Idle on SNL in a British Navy skit where he and Belushi, I believe, were saying flogging and getting it closer and closer to fucking, and then looking at the audience to see if they got it and what they were getting past the sensors. Oh, wait, I did see that one. Never mind.
Well, I didn’t Windy so that’s okay….
How about the “Samurai ________” with Jim Belushi?
Yeah, fell asleep half hour afore that one.
Bet it was a real corker.
Ahem. Yeah I’m still learning the virtual keyboard, as evidenced above.
I do not want your shot-up boat;
I do not want it, it won’t float.
“Would you like it without seats?
Would you like it without glass?”
I do not want it without seats,
I do not want it without glass,
I do not want it, Spark-I-Am.
“You can take it with a winch!
You can take it, I won’t flinch!”
I will not take it with a winch.
I would not wish it on the Grinch.
I do not want it without glass.
Your postings are devoid of class.
I do not want your shot-up boat.
I do not want it, it won’t float.
I do not like it, Spark-I-Am!
If I leave here tomorrow
Will your hold that boat for me?
For my old one has a crushed bow
And she won’t make it out to sea
But if I stayed here with my old gal
Things just wouldn’t be the same
I’d regret passing up a free boat
‘Cos this new boat would make a change
Lord knows, it would make a change
My, my, it’s such a sweet boat
I doubt my opinion will change
She needs some patching up badly
But lord knows that I am game
But if I stayed here with my old gal
Things just wouldn’t be the same
I’d regret passing up a free boat
‘Cos this new boat would make a change
‘Cos this new boat would make a change
Lord knows that I am game
Could you break big bills for change?
– Freeboat by Lynyrd Skyffyrd
Nicely done.
Both of you.
Different person. Same boat.
Or does that go different day, same old shit?
It’s S.H.I.T today. Just ask Windrose. 8)
S.H.I.T. to you all!
I used to be a member of S.H.I.T. The Society of Honorable Indiana Troglodytes. No shit.
There’s too many S.H.I.T’s in this world.
I don’t know the S.H.I.T. reference. Wiiiiindy? LL said to ask you!
Go to November 3, 2010 post. (YSaC, Vol. 839: What an unusual view!)
Windrose listed out the days of the work week. Sure Happy It’s Thursday (S.H.I.T), which is pretty indicative of my day today.
Steph, what LL said. 8) Back in the day when we had 4/10 schedules in the county, one worker who had Fridays off came up with that little jewel.
(Wait, it’s Thursday?? I think I’m having an Artsy week, too… So far my week has gone Monday, Friday, Thursday, Wednesday…. Don’t ask :-p)
*Asks*
Well, my S.H.I.T. just got better. FedEx just dropped in. The guy assigned to this route is F-I-N-E looking; so much so that I always refer to him as FedSexy.
I’m going to be taken down by Sexual Harassment Panda for sure.
But for now, the afternoon is shaping up!
I would like to ask, too, but I don’t think I’ll get an answer from my weirdo subconscious. In other news, maybe we can blame this on a big govmint conspiracy, because of the switched Daylight Savings time!
I’m going to blame it on the Republicans. They’re trying to be “fiscally responsible” by reducing the number of days in the week.
What are you talking about? I know what day of the week it is … hmmmm Friday. I know some brilliant person said that we were having 5 day weekends and 2 day work weeks from now on.
Hmmm, this would not be the right crowd to zing back about Democrats, huh? :-p (For the record, I used to identify Republican, but now I identify conservative and PartiesSuck)
Monday;
Monday²;
Monday/2 + n(e) – 1.289E5 joules;
Monday * f(x)->n(e)^e – 12.875E3 joules + catulator stalk house three times, make disgusted noises, then sit on the recliner with one’s head jammed into the cushion. oh, and -$1157.
Woohoo!! I’m Brilliant!* She said so!**
*Yesterday I was a dumbass
**neener neener
Oh yeah, someone said it. Unfortunately, it was George Jetson.
@Cappy:
Okay. Just so that we’ve got our terminology straight….by definition, what is the difference between a:
boat
ship
vessel
dinghy (not to be confused with some of our illustrious patrons of the Snark Lounge)
I identify with EB’s party non-identification…and add a hearty “hell, yeah”…
EB, all tasteful, funny zings are allowed. I
usuallyvery nearly always vote Dem, but I’m well aware that there’s what to make fun of.I identify PartiesSuck with you, EB. Although, I suppose I still identify liberal. But I’m not a socialist. And I want the business government should be minding to be much, much smaller. And I don’t like the Democrats’ tendencies to limit freedoms because they want to “take care” of everyone. And I don’t like the Republicans’ tendencies to limit freedoms because they don’t like anyone who isn’t like them.
Oh shit, where did I put my matt tags?
Oh shit, there’s more shit. (Yes, I’m the one who is averse to scatological topics, although I think I brought shit up first today, so I’m going to have to blame myself.)
I should give up here and go talk about my avvie with Hammy and Bombdude. I’m not averse to that, but I’m trying to leash in my vanity.
Oh no! Let it off the leash. Hammy too!
I identify PartiesSuck too. I agree with some lines of thinking that align with both Democrat and Republican/conservative, and disagree with others, so hate to throw my hat in totally to either extreme.
When asked, I usually claim Antidisestablishmentarianist. Usually stops further political questions at a party… Of course, after 2 or 3 drinks, I can’t always say it without stumbling or slurring.
Let Hammy off the leash? You mean, he’s on a leash now? You’re scaring me, Bomb! 😉
Simplest method: A Ship is any vessel which can carry boats.
“Vessel” tends to be any seaworthy craft, and can include non-self-propelled itmes like barges, floating drilling and exploitation rigs and the like.
“Dinghy” was a small, one or two person fishing boat carried by a larger fishing ship. They were often sharply-pointed double-enders (meaning very symmetrically shaped) which were handy for oar power while fishing near-along on the ocean.
There is an associated size of boat, the pram or punt, a dinghy in being sized for 1-2 people that is used in the pleasure boating community for getting from one’s larger, anchored, vessel to shore (or dock, pier or quay side, whathave you). Term-of-art in the yacht/cruising world if “dink” no matter if rigidly built or inflatable.
“Ship” in the days of sail, meant a three-masted vessel with square-rigged sails on all three (or more) of those masts. A Ship-rigged vessel could be 75-100′ long, or even 2-300′ long.
Oops, “Dock” is a wooden or stone mooring area directly abutting a shoreline. (A drydock is a graving area which can be either flooded or de-watered.)
“Pier” is a structure of pilings which extends out to deeper water. most piers are “pennisular,” but can also be separated from shore entire.
“Quay” is a stone-built structure, usually for mooring vessels for lading. It is realted to “quoin” and breakwater, in that the stone construction is similar–but the latter two are for creating, or improving, “protected” moorings.
Call me a liberal commie in the “two party politics sucks ” camp. I’m a big girl, EB, I can take it. :p
I had not previously heard of PartiesSuck but I am happy to sign on.
[matt-ish]Both R & D appear to be equally stupid about budgeting so I don’t like either of them, there. About taxing, it’s six of one, half dozen of the other and I can see both sides of that argument. My big differentiator and the reason I tend to vote Dem is because they are more socially liberal and non-authoritarian. They seem to have a better grasp of the separation of Church and State and they are generally a little better at adhering to other Amendments I cherish and feel are at the heart of our country like the 14th.
Naturally, YMMV and I am quite pleased that it does because a single point of view will never find the best solutions to any problem. It takes many minds working together.
Now, if they’d work together, we might actually GET somewhere.[/matt-ish]
Shhh…truth be known I’m really a Federalist. A freakin’ conservative Federalist, but a Federalist nonetheless. Gets met with a LOT of blank stares.
“Let them eat cake!!” That’s my motto.
“One if by land and two if by sea!” That’s my creed.
“Pass the salt” That’s my margarita!
Hmmm, this would not be the right crowd to zing back about Democrats, huh?
EB, you can zing back about anybody you like here, well, except for the Llamanun and Ostrimu, bees be upon them x2. Republicrats, Demlicans, Tea-Baggers, Coffee-snorters – they all deserve anything you’d care to pack up in a Hefty Bag and throw their way.
*Oops, it’s like the sign on the mirror, “Commenter may be crabbier than he appears”.
Amen, sistah!
At this point, I’m almost beyond caring what Congress does, as long as it does SOMETHING other than stick its head up its arse.
I love that NY’s recent round of elections featured candidates, including for Governor, from the “Rent is 2 Damn High Party.” Yes, the “2” was the actual spelling, apparently.
I vote Dem for reasons similar to Moira’s. I’d debate more but I’m not up to it; I think I have the flu or something. I’m all feverish. Time to have some tea and then curl up in bed.
Feel better, B!
I like cheese
I’d like the Tea Party more if it involved less politics and more actual tea. *joins Bridgete in sipping some*
I like cheese, too. I’ll vote for cheese!
Dan, plug your ears!
O Holey boat!
The glass is slightly fractured;
I used the boat to check my deer rifle’s sights.
Long lay the hull in weeds with mildew growing.
Till it appeared to lose all it’s worth.
A piece of crap, I’ll post it out on Craigslist,
For there’s a sucker born every glorious morn.
Bring on your trailer! Oh, bring a winch also!
O boat is free, the boat has no motor;
O boat, O holey boat , O boat is free!
O boat, O holey boat , O boat is free!
I feel the urge to go Christmas shopping now. I hate shopping.
Darn you, Hammy.
I feel the urge to put together a YSaC Holiday song book, and go caroling in my neighborhood. Anyone want to join me?
Will there be hot chocolate afterwards?
If so, I’m in.
I’m in! Can we sing this one?
Out in the back yard, shot-up boat!
There’s no way that hulk will float.
Sparky’s been shootin’ up the joint,
Now the neighbors laugh and point.
Ho-ho-ho
Who wouldn’t know
Ho-ho-ho
Who wouldn’t go
out to the back yard, pew-pew-pew,
Posted on Craigslist – a boat for you.
I think Sparky just flinched. He lied.
😉
Sure Windy, I’ll help. Could we start a little earlier in the day ….you know the time difference and all.
I hate shopping, too. I mean any kind of shopping. When online shopping became so easy I think I wept for joy.
Last year my washer and dryer quit…I bought a new set online in my jammies and they were delivered and installed less than 12 hrs. later.
I love teh interwebbies…almost as much as I hate shopping.
I’m witcha, CJ. I love online shopping. Way more variety than local stores. (Everybody has the same things; is there only one person doing the supply ordering for every store in town?!) And it comes right to my door. Ahhhh.
I think I just heard the baby Jesus groan.
No, I just have a little gas this morning.
Sorry!
Thanks for clarifying that. I thought it was the cattle lowing.
Oh, Hammy – I present you my second Spleen! O Holey Boat, indeed. The snark is strong with this one.
Looks like I have some Spleenin’ to do…
Tank — how many do you have or are your cloning them just for YSac?
Oh, didn’t you know that spleens grow back. Usually within a day, 2 tops. That’s why they’re such a good choice to give out to show appreciation.
Indeed – House even had an episode on that.
[surgical corey] For those with skills at enastamosis, there are few recesctions as much work as a splenectomy. Even in a “gross” removal of the spleen, the number of branches on the splenic artery are under-predictable, and seldom match the number of splenic veins.
In a “fine” splenectomy, one has to match the great raft of arteries to veins, after determining which portions of the spleen to excise.
The spleen is a structure which contains a great mass of circulatory vessels. There does not seem to be any secretion or chemical associated with the spleen, but it is widely considered to be where the balance of blood chemistry is measured, and by some process, the various hormones and cells of the body introduced to the circulation system. Since the arteries and veins branch down to near capilary size, it’s an organ suseptable to gross injury, and with risk of exsanguination after that injury.
Yet, the mass of the spleen is removavble, to no great life-style change in the patient (other than whatever emotional effects are garnered by the incident that caused the gross insult).
Side note: The liver, if with enough healthy mass, can regenerate. Which is a boon, as non-morbid transplants are far easier to match up.
[/corey]
Cap’n, why do you know that?!?!?
But, you know, my awarding of spleens is just from the stock I keep in my basement. I never said they were actually my spleen.
Capn did my spleenin’ for me…Thanks!
Jd, Uncle taught me these things–part of emergent medicine at the remove of 24 hours from critical care sort of knowledge.
Technology for enastamosis has also improved to the point where emergent vascular procedures are possible in the far, far away, and the risks are considerably lower than with ischemic limb or extremity loss.
But, when sitting in the class on vascular enastamosis, the instructors often cannot help but wax on about hugely serious conditions, like splenic rupture, and correction of that sort of insult. Which is a fine and dandy topic to take up in a nice clean classroom with smart, dry erase, and chalkboards. Contemplating how one might acomplish such in a muddy ditch 24 hours’ from anywhere, is quite another thing.
Detritus of a lifetime of near-useless information and skills. Like, how to brace yourself in a small pitching and yawing boat to best average “the horizon” while taking a star sight with a sextant. Or that the preferred treatment for tricyclic overdose is sodium-bicarb. Or that residential sprinkler heads generally are rated for 127 gpm. Or that you can get R19 in a 2×4 wall by adding 1″ of closed-cell foam to the 3.5″ of between-framing insulation.
Oh, and I know about livers as a friend did the fraternal liver donation for their brother; and the donor’s liver is now regnerated enough that the accomplishment may be celebrated with wine.
Oh little hull of fiber-glass,
They all just pass you by.
Too bad you’re full of bullet holes,
and your glass has glass has gone bye-bye.
The glass only went bye-bye once, in spite of what it said….
Today only: YSaC: The Muisical! Tickets available at Ticketbastard or call 1-800-LOL-YSAC!
Target practice? Did the conversation go something like this:
Keith Stone: Hey J.D., Show me what you got. I bet you can’t hit the broad side of a barge.
J.D.: Well boy, pass me a Keystone Light and then I’ll show you what kind of man I’m made of. I can take on that non-moving, perfectly still, big as my trailer Chris-Craft over yonder and with this .22 I gots here, I’ll put small holes all over it.
Keith Stone: J.D.,you’re always smooth! Just try not to hit the missus over by the clothesline.
Yeah, it’s good to be a man with less than adequate eyesight and an equally adequate intelligence!
“Honey, you gotta git that ol’ boat outta the yard. There’s a pack of rabid squirrels nesting in there.”
“I tried to shoot ’em, but they were too fast. And I put an ad on Craigslist. I don’t understand why someone didn’t want a FREE boat!”
“Yew idjot, you gotta catch the eye of the buyer, with poetry. I’ll post another ad.”
*one week later*
“Honey, you gotta git that ol’ boat outta the yard.”
By the way, good spotting, SJ! 8)
Honestly, I never connected the two ads since they were so far apart in time, but it could be the same object formerly known as a boat.
My question is this: did he shoot holes in the boat before or after the boat was taken out of the water.
There should be a question mark there. Whoops.
That’s an easy one.
It would have definitely have had to have been on dry land. If it was in the water, he would have been advertising a free reef because Sparky would have definitely left it where it sunk.
If he had sunk it, this would be more like a Carfax* commercial.
“FOR SALE. Old boat, no motor.
Has sunk beforeSlight water damage.”*Might not actually be Carfax. All commercials blend together nowadays.
maybe they playing a game of 1/4 scale battle ship.
“You sunk my battle shit!”
Flushed?
I hope not!!! I was merely dropping the kids off at the pool!!!
As opposed to your utility shit or your protocol shit?
Precisely! It also includes just your regular shit-shit.
Aw man, now we’re deep into a scatological* subject. Was it Stephanae that has an aversion?
And why does that word have an “ology” suffix? Do people actually study this subject?
No. The simple answer is that they were dyslexic and thought they were spelling it “loogy”. Those silly Latin and Greek languages.
Okay, I lied. Yes Bombdude, as sure as you’re not supposed to clip the green wire, there are a whole bunch of studies revolving around poop and petrified poop.
Well, Chelsea, from yesterday, per her blog, is pursuing a degree which involved studying Victorian-era sanitation.
I know ornithilogical types who are scatalogists (and whatever one would call the science of studying regurgitate), as the study of “owl pellets” teaches us about what and how the raptors eat.
I want to remember that persons studying middens need/desire at least one scatologist to help in those studies.
::sigh::
Less than 5 minutes and I’m back to dumbass….
Yeah, but wasn’t it a wonderful 5 minutes!!!
Oh well, even as a dumbass I’ll enjoy the long weekends… 😉
It’s possible it was shot while on the water and then dragged onto shore, but that seems too much like work. It would fit with the (lack of) planning that Sparkies usually display though. It would probably depend on how much alcohol was involved at the time.
“Hey, Bubba! Let’s shoot the boat!”
“‘Kay.”
:sounds of sporadic gunfire and belching:
“Uh, Bubba? Why are my feet gettin’ wet?”
“Oh, hell. The wife’s not gonna like this.”
Oh, you can be assured that Sparky wouldn’t be putting himself out by dragging a boat out of the water. It’s sort of like the same thinking that buzzes in his cranium when his baloney sammich falls on the kitchen floor.
“I’ll just leave that there ’til later. Can’t be bothered to bend over.”
And then later never happens.
I had to read this 3 times before I realized he was not referring to the status of SJ’s bowels.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure people aren’t that concerned with my bodily functions.
That’s as opposed to the extra-fancy sarajean who turns up when we’ve all been really
goodsnarky.I Suck at Quoting.
And how lucky for me that there is no Edit function either. So my dumbassness is permanently displayed for all the world to see.
That acronyms to…Isaq. That’s either Isaac, or something a bit more…euphemistic.
Oh, and I don’t mean to be a showoff by blockquoting. My mind just automatically converted that to an acronym, and I had to mention it.
Show-off! 😉
Show-front*
*Pretty please
I know, right? I broke out my snerky photo manipulation software, thinkin’ I’d flip the picture around, but all I ended up with was Stephanae on her head…
What?!
I looked behind my monitor, but unless her front is made of dust bunnies I couldn’t see a darn thing.
I can’t show-front. It’s Other’s turn in front to steal moneies, meds, and iPods.
And now, we get to see part of a front–a very nice front–future scholars will ever more wonder what we were on about. Just another Motel of the Mysteries artifact <sigh>
ToB, I fixed it! I learnt a new skillz today! That will be a small bag of canary seed, please.
Uhm…where’s what ToB was quoting?
It’s the first 3 words of dan’s post. Right under “by dan”
No, I mean, for ToB to be quoting something, the words have to actually be in the comment.
TBS was quoting dan. You asked “where” those 3 words were located.
Hey….is this Tricky Question Thursday?
*sneaky sneaky*
Sigh…never mind.
NMN, it’s Dan’s citation of who sent the ad, right above the first ad itself.
NMN, ToB’s comment is up a ways. It’s all part of the tricky nesting of comments that keeps us on our toes. Scroll up and you should find it. 8)
Thank for fixing it! So… what am I doing wrong?
Well, in the post anyway. Not in life. That would take way too long to answer.
You aren’t getting enough fiber.
“So, I would recommend new Fiber One Plus cereal. No sticks, twigs, or bark, butplenty of fiber. Fiber One Plus, get yours, today!!!”
You need to type <blockquote>Your quoted text</blockquote>
Thank you!
I looked in the Forums for a Tags for Dummies section but couldn’t find it.
Probably deserves a page on the YSaC Wiki
To all veterans and active service personnel:
This day is to honor you. Thank you for your service, and for our freedom to mock asshats in safety and security.
…even if some of them are members of the service.
Just asking…does it seem odd/borderline wrong to wish someone Happy Veterans Day? Is there a more apropos adjective?
I totally agree, Mudsy.
I’ve heard on the radio this morning already, at least 4 times where the DJs have said “Happy Veterans Day” to a guest or their listeners in some capacity. It sounds awkward.
A co-irker wished me Happy Holiday last night as I was leaving work. Very odd.
Probably better than “happy Memorial day”
And I in turn would like to thank the good ol’ USA and its people for supporting me through my lean Old Milwaukee years, through my somewhat more robust Budweiser years, and finally in my golden “Two cubes of ice in that whiskey glass, Miss”, years. Without your support, many a Marines’ glass would have gone empty, and I probably would have starred in some overseas version of “Fist-Cam” alot more than I did. From the bottom of my bottle, I thank you.
a third that! i did have a stroke of brilliance driving home today… how about “thankYou, Veteran’s Day”? 🙂 Still awkward, but more appropriate…
(Gah, that’s what I get for trying to post with the default browser on my phone… Given that it doesn’t show what I typed until after I hit submit, I don’t think I did too bad :-p)
Amen!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPbIls0iOnI
I think that’s the first time I ever saw Red Skelton be so serious. Good link, Hammy!
Actually, Mr. Skelton turned serious a number of times, and since it was usually unexpected, it was always touching. Good post, Hammy. I was going to share it, but since I disagree with adding “Under God” to the pledge, I decided to not. It was wonderful to hear the Pledge as originally written. 8)
Red was a personal hero of mine. Fabulous and gifted comic and artist. My mom met him once when she was working for a radio station and she said he was the kindest, warmest, most sincere celebrity she’d ever met…and she’s met a few.
I never missed his show growing up and now have a few of the DVDs from the collection.
Ditto.
Except, you know… a boat.
Who sucks at blockquotes? I do! Oh, WHERE O WHERE is that edit function?
I am able to edit, but I don’t do block quotes. So I’ll see if I can mess it up even more!
Did you just call Windrose an edit function?
LOL NMN, as well she should! Tanker, it worked! Send bird seed!
Thank you, WIndy!
***Crunchety crunch crunch***
OK, it’s in the little mechanical tray thing. Hmmm. Is this smoke normal?
Just wait for the blue screen Tanky.
So far, everyone has had the smoke, so yeah, I think it’s normal.
[matt]Hey wait, I thought the Snark Lounge was a no-smoking environment!!![/matt]
*cough cough
Tank — just pour a little coffee over the seeds everything will be fine (Iz a xpert).
Will give credit to Sparky, there’s no mention of having plugged the holes with some sketchy-for-the-application product, like, oh, Spackle™. Which I have seen in boat sale ads, before, and in boating publications, where the target audience does know better.
Now, the second ad shows a beached boat, looking rather abandoned. If it is remote enough to be used as a semi-reactive target, I have to wonder how the motor was removed. Was it carefully unbolted and carried off? Was it in part-way rotted mounts, and subsequently torn out? Was it hacked out by vandals?
All in all, probably better that this, ah, watercraft, is beached, if only to not be a swimming/diving hazard in the pond visible in the photos.
Squeee! Je suis awesome!
…Ahem…. *makes mental notes to come back later for a punch, and to keep caffeinating self for more brilliance*
EB — congrad’s 2 days back and YOO’RRRRREEEEE BBBAACCCKKKK!!!! (Knew I kept those extra capital letters around for something.)
But– but that was my line! 8/ Of course, you wrote it. Sigh. Guess I can take off the make-up now.
Give yourself an honorary punch for that Windrose. Just ’cause you’re awesome.
Yeah. What AR said.
By the way, I am FB Fiends with AR and Mudsy now. I feel very speeshul.
Any fiend of theirs is a fiend of mine.
I need to go stalking more of you on FB… when I have time to GET on FB again.
*A slightly dishelved kelli wanders into the snark lounges. She looks at the current ad, calls her doctor to schedule a tetnus shot and backs carefully back out*
*Hammy is leaning on the door jamb, tapping his foot and blocking the exit*
“Just where so you think you are going young lady?”
“Windrose says no one leaves without depositing a small bag of seeds.”
*kelli distracts the small doggy with a nice treat and runs out*
Small teat…what?
I don’t think my teats qualify as small.
I’m so confused, kelli. If you gave Hammy a nice teat (small or not), how did you then run out? And, ow!
I gave Hammy a treat, then he started staring at teats.
Isn’t that how it always starts?
Must be time for a little “soft-shoe”:
“Two for teats
and teats for two.
One for me,
and one for you…”
I’m curious about the falling off the shelf thing, myself.
Is that what that meant? I thought she had two slight shelves. I get the curiosity, though, either way.
Smed, do you have any idea how hard it is to sit on a shelf?
That depends. Are you likkered up at the time?
Yay! Edits back! Bees-o-matic!
No, Sparky, the phrase is “as easy as shooting fish in a barrel” And you’re not supposed to be in the barrel at the time.
But if Sparky’s not in the barrel, then whose turn is it? I don’t want it to be my turn in the barrel. I hate that!
You don’t look much like a fish….
Why thank you, AR! I’m not sure that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received on my appearance, but I’m relieved to hear it, nonetheless.
😀
I’m always here for the easy ego boost.
Steph could be a mermaid.
Top half human, or bottom half? Either way, it’s not going to end well.
Beau, seen any Family Guy recently? :-p
Well, from the look of those scapulae, the upper half is not piscine–at least the dorsal aspect.
I’m not Addie Bundren!*
I assure you I have no ventral piscine aspects, either. And I don’t care what they say about how women smell, I have no nether piscine aspects. Flowers over fish, remember?
I do sometimes dwell in the sea and attempt to lure sailors to a drowning death. But never on S.H.I.T.
*100 American Lit. extra credit points to whoever gets that reference.
Annie Bundren – “As I Lay Dying” – Wm. Faulkner. Never mind my active dislike for Faulkner….
Oops – ignore the typo – should be Addie, not Annie. The problem is that both ‘d’ and ‘n’ are on my keyboard. I’ve tried to move the ‘n’ to the back of the laptop, but it keeps turning up on the front.
Oh, Grampdaddy, now we can’t be friends. I adore Faulkner. 😉
You only get half credit if you don’t explain the reference, though. And if you insist it’s Annie and not Addie. I didn’t offer any OBOs, though, so you’re probably not missing much.
Oh sorry, I took the deduction before you made your correction. I guess you can have 75 points, now. The ‘n’ must not like the dust bunnies behind the monitor. Oh wait, that was HamCan’s monitor.
But…..But…. I adore your back! Are you sure we can’t be friends? I promise not to discuss Faulkner while I ogle your back…. and perhaps both of us can turn a corner and meet face to umm…..
*Think I’ll quit now while I’m ahea…. nope, too late.*
Well, I don’t know . . .
I have very specific rules for my friends. They must not
dislike Faulkner
like Hall & Oates
be dumber than my microwave
You like my back, though, and I think you’re smarter than my microwave. So maybe I can give you a slide on Faulkner. How do you feel about Hall & Oates?
*Waves at Stephanae*
Faulk you too!
Mmmm, I like Oatmeal.
*Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*
Hall & Oates are definitely good, although I do tend more toward the old Blues players like Leadbelly, et al. I’ve never met a bagpipe that I couldn’t fall in love with. Old Crow Medicine Show, Rev. Peyton’s Big Damn Band, Mellencamp, and Jimmy Buffet also fill out my musical choices. Oh yeah, jazz and classical round out the music in the CD rack/MP3 player.
I do think I can beat the microwave in the “smarter than” department. I also cook, clean windows, do laundry, and vacuum. Plus, I create serious kick-ass photographs of individuals sans clothing.
I can’t do Faulkner, though.
<is sad>
Got nothing for Faulkner, either.
But, have seen H&O live. Does that count?
I have a table for propagation of RF from a magnetron, so as to design wave-guide sections (and a damage-control manual for that, too).
Oh, dear. I must have written a bad list. You must not dislike Faulkner. You must not like Hall & Oates. But okay, mostly you just have to detest Kiss on My List and Maneater, in that order of importance.
And really, durnitall, I just like you all, anyway, and the only reason I make such rules is so I can break them.
And I adore oatmeal. And bagpipes are nice as long as they’re not playing live in a small room. And I love kick-ass photographs of naked folks. Finally, owning that radio frequency propagation magnetron thingy must make you smarter than a microwave. The only drawback, Cappy, is that you have to pretend you’re not smarter than me—oh, did I forget to mention that rule? 😉
It was not this rhyme,
that acquired me this boat,
it was the large volume of time,
I spent wading through my moat.
Bullet holes and no motor you say?
Perhaps a combination of the Swiss and the French!
A trip to the store and duct tape headed my way,
I take you up on your offer; Boat, onto my winch!
Excellent idea, Beau! Duck Tape can fix anything……….
Thank you, it was my first comment here. I’ve been invited by a couple of friends and warned to avoid the Sparkies. I’ve still got to learn what they are 😛
Well, the names of the CL posters are redacted (so as to prevent excess ridicule, and in a measur of moderator decorum).
We need a name, a “handle” to ascribe to these exemplars of anti-bright, and in the way that Australians call redheads “Blue,” “Sparky” has stuck. If in the sense of not being a spark of brilliance in the great darkness of night.
I tend to use “Sparky” if male; “Sparkie” is female; and “Sparq'” if foriegn at all. Or a hipster. Or wearing a beret. Or for effect. Or in honor of those here who parley-voo the fran-say.
It’s all very simply. The Sparkies are the people who post the sucky ads. We, the Snarkies, make fun of the Sparkies. You don’t need to avoid the Sparkies, just avoid being one!
I keep getting the best ideas for the YSaC Convention! A trivia game, Sparkies against Snarkies! YSaC trivia for the wins!
I’ve posted a few ads in my time, but none that would warrant the title of Sparky, hopefully!
Thanks for the clarification. 😀
Wait, Sparkies, Snarkies . . . So, where to the Jets come in?
Will Rita Moreno dance? Will there be a cool score by a famous, now-dead composer?
Welcome Beau – glad you’ve joined us. There’s really only one thing you need to be aware of, and that is,
“Don’t rub the puppy’s tummy.”
Everything else is pretty much self-explanatory – or not….
Whether self-explanatory or not, we still delight in making it up (or re-making it up) as we go along. Anything that gets the neurons perking is a good thing.
I wonder what he was aiming for …. the boat, the beer cans in the boat, the tree or his soon-to-be-ex-wife who was standing on the dock?
Just for the hull of it…
Does Carnival Cruises find their stuff on Craigslist?
I hear they’re looking for a replacement.
A whole fleet of boats with no engines? That’s one long trip.
I’ll have to pass, I gotta be back at work on the 22nd.
But that would be the perfect excuse!
“Hey, Boss, I know I told you I’d only be gone for a week, but the boat hasn’t returned to port yet.”
“Where are we? Umm…we’re close.”
“No, I don’t know how soon I’ll be back. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Yes, it’s been a lovely cruise, but of course I’ve missed being in the office. I’ll get back as soon as I can.”
Said with deep sincerity and concern. Ahem.
Ah, but remember that’s been six days without hot food or water, and no refridgeration.
News story from today was that the beer was free–but it was also room temperatire, too.
I don’t get what those Sparkies on the Carnival cruise-with-value-added (the extra value being Spam) are complaining about. They get this cruise paid for, plus another free cruise. Since there is no danger of fire or sinking, what’s a little inconvenience? I’d be thrilled. I’d just soak up the sun and make the best of it. But that’s me. I’m a jar-half-full-of-coins-and-motor-0il kind of girl.
Michael, row the boat ashore, got no engine….
Michael, row the boat ashore, got no engine…
Michael, row the boat ashore, got no engine…
Michael, row the boat ashore, got no eh – ehn – gine…
Michael had to start to bail, we was sink-in’…
Michael had to start to bail, we was sink-in’…
Michael had to start to bail, we was sink-in’…
Michael had to start to bail, we was si – ink – kin’…
Michael, bail a little more, or we’re swimmin’….
Michael, bail a little more, or we’re swimmin’….
There’s some beer upon the shore, time for drinkin’…
There’s some beer upon the shore, time for dri – ink – in’
Hallelujah! Wonder if we can build a little camp fire here in the Snark Lounge?
Probably, but there won’t be any canoeing or other boating for the happy campers. Therefore, “You Suck at Camping – exactly what it says on your tent”
Gramps, I’d be a little careful about zinging coffee snorters. We tend to be a little edgy and paranoid.
Now how did my comment get down here? I guess the learning curve is steeper than I thought.
Edit, just because I can.
EDIT IS BACK!!!!
In honor of Stephanae’s new avatar, perhaps?
(Back, that is.)
Is the editing function working?
Why yes, yes it is.
Whoops, didn’t notice Grampdaddy’s comment. Sorry about that.
Darn it, there goes my bird seed monopoly!
Well, since my back caused a bit more of a fuss than I was expecting. I put up a picture of my front.
Which one should I keep? Or should I go back to blue face?
Now if you can just make it an animated gif…
😀
Bad Hammy!!!! Go back to you room, no tummy rubs for you tonight.
Stephanae – I think you need the one with the club in your hand so you can knock some sense into Hammy, Grampdaddy & Bombdude.
*** I edited just cause I could
*Rolls over and wags*
Hey!!! Look at Hammy’s cute new puppy! Let’s talk about that avvie for a while. 😀
Stephanae – Is this you on YouTube?
No, CoffDrop, my dance name is Taja. But that’s funny since she’s in SLC. I recognize some of the venues and names in her vids, but I don’t recognize that Stephanie, and she’s not bad (that’s high praise in the cutthroat belly dance community).
There seems to be an abundance of belly dancers in SLC. I never knew…..
You say “belly dance” and I say “I love this video.”
That rocked, Moira. Thank you! The belly dancer was perilously close to naked, though.
Yes indeed, Moira – great group. “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” brings back interesting memories. Here’s The Animals, and this one by Santa Esmeralda makes me giggle…..
Well, I have got to get to bed, in spite of my wish to stay up all night for some reason. I mean really, why go back to work tomorrow for one day, then be off for two? Oh well. Where was I?
EB! Welcome back to the Golden Lotus! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Dock!
OOoof! Aww, shucks, you shouldn’t have….
…No, really. That hurt.
:-p