YSaC, Vol. 846: It’s my proclivity …
8gb Ipod Nano
lost, missplaced, stollen , given away when I wasn’t in front, missing exact time and location. Sentimental value gift. Black 8gb Ipod Nano. Hip Hop Playlist. J-love, Jadakiss, Belly etc. Black arm strap. Small Reward Available. Or have original box, usb cord and arm band box available. Please call Jason at xxx-xxx-xxxx
ALSO “lost in Osoyoos” 2 pinky rings extreamly valuable 2 wrong person. Please let me know that they are in responsible storage and not available to clone. I am very disappointed in NWO. I thought under world becoming a fair and unblackmail controled was more then a myth. Apparently respect is not availa ble to those who take “hit for the team” . I learn’t alot about selling powerless out for cheap thrils and petty theft ($~5000.00) of $10,000 in moneies and meds stolen when others in Front over last 6 months. Also hear cocbliocking haters constantly braging about this and the Ho’s that let others think they met me rather then haters who WON. I wish I could have been aloued to make new friends, but understand that not at all part of plan. I guess I need professional Help. I have lost all respect for western Canada. Leting others out meeting people in what they have no right to, You are disrespectful beyond belief for ending my existence this way. I guess no one appreciates…my mom and myself. You have enough Proclivaties 5000y later?
Proclivaties was my favorite Greek philosopher. He lived roughly 5000 years ago; his most influential treatise, Lost in Osoyoos, foresaw the existence of technology that enables the cloning of pinky rings. This, he claimed, would lead to the dissolution of the human race; it would cause a general increase in disrespect and cockblocking.
Modern scholarship on Proclivaties is sadly lacking, primarily because the last eight chapters of his treatise consist of nothing but incoherent rants about wombats.
Thanks, John!
::blink blink::
It’s too early for this level of incoherence. I’ll try again later.
I’d pass you my flask, but I seem to have emptied it while reading.
It didn’t help make sense.
The Earth! It has 4 corners!
No, silly, that’s the globe, as in “all four corners of the globe.”
The Earth? Pffft. Flat. Everyone knows that.
Mock not the four corner cubed quadruple sided time day earth… thing!
These 4 corners?
Wow…
Head… hurts… Can’t.. read… any… more…
I think we might have just found this sparky’s daddy…
Sparky has a blog now ….. jump inside the cube Spark & I’ll take care of you. fires up the trash compactor
And how can cube-time-day-earth-dude be the “Wise-assed Human”?
*looks around Snark lounge
I don’t see him in here
:golf clap:
Bravo!
He’s the “Dumb-assed Human,” meanwhile all of us here in the snark lounge are Wise-assed Humans. Or cats. Or birds. And a kittyshark.
The more I read this the more I think it was written by Mork from Ork…
“Nano, nano.”
This is your brain on drugs…
So … This is the same guy? If you find my Ipod there’s a small reward, but if you want, here’s the rest of the equipment that makes it work. As far as the “In front” bit, I think he’s disappointed that he wasn’t riding shotgun more. Too analytical? OK, I too am ashamed of the NWO. Hulk Hogan was going to remake the WWE. Bastard.
So… hrmm…
What if…
Nope, I got nuttin’…
*wanders in*
Oh hey, new post!
*reads post*
………… . . . .
*wanders off for more coffee*
I should always realize it’s a mistake to read YSaC before coffee.
So it sounds like we should have a PSA during the sitcom….
Scene: Empty chair in a white room.
Windrose walks to the chair, sits down, and looks at the camera intently.
Every day, hundreds of people read YSaC uncaffeinated. Hundreds of people read the ranting of people who visit disrespectful Canada, hundreds of people attempt to decode da minty shells, and even, heaven forbid, try to learn where purse-stalkers nest so they can avoid those Starbucks locations.
Scene changes to the Snark Lounge, where familiar faces are slicing the coffee loaves and filling plates with chips for the cheese dip. The members of the Snark Lounge are laughing and punning. The sounds of Snarking fade, though we still see people and kitties enjoying themselves. Windrose continues speaking as a voiceover.
All it takes is one pot of coffee, or your similarly caffeinated equivalent, to be able to interpret and enjoy the stylings of Sparky. Please, think of the children.
One of the 30 black cats in the Snark Lounge snorts coffee out of his/her nose.
And remember: Finish your coffee before coming to the Snark Lounge, or at least remember to swallow first.
HamCan and TypoMagic shout from the background: That’s what she said!
Scene fades to black
Fin.
(I’m back, baby!)
Ok I give in … search for a Diet Coke.
I’m glad you’re back, but I thought we had agree you wouldn’t call me “baby” in public anymore.
Now this is a PSA* I can get behind**.
* Pear-shaped ass
** That’s what he said!
Are you ever! There’s not enough doors in the world, EB!
I’m ready for my close-up! *powders nose* *NOT like that!*
What makes it even funnier for me – Firefly, my mostly black cat, has actually shot water out of her nose on more than one occasion. (She likes to drink from the tub faucet and often sits in the bathtub to do so. Water gets up her nose, prompting a snorting, hacking, and sneezing session that is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.)
EB, that brightened my day. Thank you. ♥
Back and better than ever! Many doors to you.
Bravo, oh poinky red-headed lady! I’ve been painting the doors in my house this week so not only are they handy, they are bright and shiny. Hope you like white!
*clap,clap,clap*
Have another door because I can do that now :p
Pure genius, EB. Pure.Genius.
:sigh:
The inevitable fate of everyone who lives up in America’s Hat – Cold-induced dementia exacerbated by prolonged exposure to hockey and maple syrup.
So sad.
Not so. Any effects caused by exposure to cold and hockey are offset by beer and bacon*.
* Not valid in the Maritimes, Quebec, or northern Alberta. BC doesn’t get snow, but has its own reasons for dementia. And before you ask, we Ontarians aren’t demented, just arrogant, despite Justin Beiber, whom we already apologized for.
I’ve yet to see an explanation for the boiled tree sap fetish.
Maple syrup is awesome. Maple anything is awesome — as long as it’s the sort of thing you’re supposed to combine maple with. Like a stack of fluffy buttermilk pancakes or waffles slathered with butter and maple syrup. (Or, if you’re like me, the syrup is on the side to dip so the pancakes/waffles don’t get all soggy.) Or maple dip donuts. Or maple fudge. Or maple-smoked bacon. Or a blondie with maple butter to dip.
Damn, I’m hungry.
And for those of a military bent, there is a Maple Sausage Patty MRE.
I don’t think MREs count as food.
Well, if you had ever eaten one, you would know.
Is it true that the package is edible too? And the utensils, if there are any?
I suppose you could eat the package and utensils. Everything is edible if you can get it down your neck. Whether it blocks your intestine and kills you is another story.
Some of the MREs I’ve eaten made the packaging appear to be the better tasting alternative.
But these are the new MRE’s. Now with FLAVOR!
Didn’t say it was good.
I always preferred my MREs cold, because heating tended to enhance the FLAVOR you mention. They didn’t have the maple sausage kind when I was in the military, though. How is that with Tabasco, anyway?
When growing up in the north, we always had maple syrup over ice cream and looked forward to maple candy time (pure tree sap sugar).
Hear hear!! I’m witcha smiley dog. It’s Molasses I can’t fathom. Well… I can fathom it, just can’t understand why somebody would voluntarily pass that over their taste buds…
I’d take any MRE over that, any day. Even the corned beef hash…
The only thing molasses is good for is making cookies and rum.
Mick Jagger says it’s good for making Brown Sugar too!
The dancing brown sugar comes after too much of the rum, I think.
Oh, I miss maple sugar candy…. When I was living in upstate NY, it was a lot easier to get to… Now I have to go to the Canada-Fetish shop* at the mall, and it’s way more expensive.
*I am not kidding. There’s an entire store of imported Canadian stuff… Candies (Mmm… mint Aero bars….), boxed foods, hockey paraphernalia…. It used to be a storefront on the main storefront-shoppingy road, but now it’s in one of the malls.
Which mall, EB? One of the ones in Utah Valley? I think I need to check this store out.
Oooh, just thought of something else molasses is good for – flooding a small section of Boston.
EB — that’s where I grew up too. We used to go the the Maple Syrup Festival every year and get a couple of gallons of maple syrup to last through the winter (as well as candy). These days I’d probably have to mortgage my house to do that (if I could even find it by the gallon).
En seriatum non.
Edible pacakaged for MRE (and <shudder> Humanitarian Aid Meals) was experimented withl but nothing met the ten-year shelf-life requirement.
Note too, that, without so specifying, the boxes seem rodent-resistant, as well (the wooden cases, not so much).
Genuine maple syrup is its own reward. Like many things, the line which marks excess is fine and hard too see. (Except for when one has extra-spicy sausage links–but, that’s a different reflux.)
Molasses has a number of uses, mule medicine delivery but one.
But, the premiere best use for molasses is still as the base for slow-cooked BBQ sauce. (This is doubly so if Uncle Cletus has shown up with that pint of Old Crow.)
Stephanie: It’s one of the malls in Prorem… At least, the store was there the last time I was at a mall, before Mini was born :-p I can check them out and get back to you… I’m 5 minutes from one mall and 10 from the other :-p
@sarajean re: Boston Molasses Disaster
I see a solution to the jobs problem going on currently. Unemployment will plummet!!! If only we currently had a
disaster that was never properly cleaned up going on right now.
Thanks, EB. Next time you happen to notice whether I should go into the Provo or the Orem Prorem mall, I’d appreciate it very much if you’d tell me. Happy valley gives me panic attacks, and I don’t have enough Xanax to check both of them out myself.
Stephanae: Crazzy Canuck closed earlier this year… They’re only doing an online store, but shipping costs are probably a beast -_-
I’m so disappointed and relieved at the same time.
Haha, I know how you feel…. And I LIVE here :-p
Dear mudsy, I’m on the same page with you. Looked into this, what with NOLA only being 7 hours’ drive away. But Louisiana has arcane laws. I can’t practice over there (was recently sent a letter saying i need to renew my LA contractor’s license, which I’ve never been issued–Catch-22 Yosarian!) So, there’s still cleanup wanting from Rita and Ike atop the Katrina mess.
The number one issue still plaguing down there is housing for workers to clean up and repair the damage. Which is not helped by the fact that FEMA redrew the flood zones–and will not allow temporary housing in flood zones during the storm season. (They can put their trailers on site, if the housing roulette wheel says to, though.)
Looked into working on Bolivar and down the far end of Galveston after Ike, but the insurance companies had that well in hand (or did until the costal bend shenanigans started up on the est end of the island).
But I hear you can buy alcoholic beverages at the drive-through. I don’t care what other weird laws they have; I’m moving there!
Stephanae, they have hard-liquor sections in the grocery stores.
Really odd to pull into the EZ Mart and they have Jack Daniels next to the Dixie and Beast Light.
Confuses the cajuns to come to Texas and see an actual liquor/package store (even more than wandering into a dry county or precinct, and there’s no wine or beer in the supermarket).
Hmmmm, I always though molasses was what the last mole in the tunnel sees…
Equal parts funny and sad. : /
Am I looking at Stephanae’s avatar right…is that the view of Lola’s avvie from the back?
And with no shirt on.
Go Hurricanes. I had to say that. Hockey and bacon were the only things that I understood so far this morning. …… re-thinking drinking caffeine, hmmmmm Maybe it would help ….. Maybe I’d know what day of the week it was
I now see why I should stop listening to the music on my Ipod at full volume. Thanks, random CLister!
By the way, it might help if you listened to songs by people that are actually, you know, popular.
Did anyone notice that I didn’t say I was going to stop listening to my Ipod? I’m just wondering.
NMN good dodge! I should stop spending so much time playing games and focus on my writing. 8)
NMN — did you hear me say to “turn that $%D%&*(^$ down” your ipod is louder than my music in the car …… sorry, NMN, for a second there I thought you were one of my kids.
Hey, I’ve given that speech 100,000 times or so, Artsy!
Heh, I put a stereo system in my car that no headphones could outdo, other than maybe the Bose noise cancelling kind… Overcomes the temper tantrums too. Mine included…
Ain’t no earbuds gonna keep out Disturbed at 500 watts.
I turned my music UP so it would drown out Sparky’s insanity / inanity. Didn’t work that great, though. Now I just have Sparky and Copacabana at 20 thousand decibels.
Andie, the incognito quilty thing doesn’t work if you don’t change your name. 8)
I’ll one up you on this one:
It’s better to listen to songs that are actually, you know, good.
Yeah, what does he think…that Justin Bieber is chopped liver?
Justin Bieber isn’t chopped liver?
*looks disappointed
*puts away the Chianti
Let’s just say, he’s “Cracker Worthy”
That deserves more doors than I am allowed to give.
In other news, I occasionally have a slow response when clicking for doors and so I will click again and then the site accuses me of cheating. It distresses me despite the fact that the dialog box is cute and small and somewhat humorous.
Ooh look!! A lady in distress! Where’s the nearest phone booth?
Whaddaya mean there’s no more phone booths?!?! What? Cell phone what?!?!? I don’t CARE if nobody uses payphones anymore, where is a damn superhero supposed to change into his costume/disguise now?!?!?
*wanders off muttering…
“durn technology… Sorry Moira, just gonna haver to get over it yourself… can’t come to the rescue of a lady ion distress in *this*!”
What else is the dialog box saying to you, Moira?
Well, while moira was coping with a slow-displaying dialog box, mine said “Internal Error, try again later” which was a precursor (and a pre-curser) to the 400 Bad Request error that happened on pressing Submit.
Moira, I get that, too. And, in a new development that’s never happened to me before, I got “internal error” when I tried to give a door, followed by 404 bad request when I reloaded. Clearing cache didn’t help. Now I switched to Chrome and it’s working fine. Except that I was a quilt block a second ago, we’ll see what happens here.
It appears you are still quite quiltastic, TankerAndieBell.
How did he misspell that?!
I also don’t think that’s all he hears, voicewise.
Last I heard they weren’t aloued because it’s no longer availa ble.
eesy-peesy .. and I thought initially it was a delberate mis-speelin.
Obviously, pinky rings are extremely valuable, while 8GB iPods have sentimental value only. That’s why I’m offering to trade you these valuable cardboard boxes for that worthless piece of scrap metal that I lost/misplaced/gave away.
P.S. I think maybe this person has taken a few too many “hits” for the team…
I’ll give you this awesome piece of wood for that useless Xbox 360! Deal? Deal. That’s what I thought.
Just followed Miss Chelsea’s link to her blog. There’s some smart stuff happening there.
Probably could almost give Cap’n a run for his money.
Ditto – An interesting place with an interesting title.
I found it quite fascinating, and exuberant read. Then I had to close IE, which was sad-making.
Wow, stalked already!
That’s what’s great about YSaC … equal opportunity stalking. Just ask TypoMagic.
You know that the pinky rings are worth more because there are two of them and only one Ipod. 2 is twice as much as 1.
Duh.
By that logic….
Hi! I’d like to offer you these two straws for that single lonely Mercedes! How about it?
I’ll see your straws and raise you this box of paper clips! There’s a hundred of those little suckers in there!
A hundred is more than two, right?
my friends all have Porsches ….
Thank you, tig! A little Janis was just what I needed to help me feel better after reading this post.
I see your box of paperclips, and raise you…ummm…a large bag of M&Ms. There’s got to be 250 in a bag, or more.
my friends all drive Porches….
Thank you for making amends, Mudsy.
Worked haaaaaaaaaard (on) all my life time, no help from my fiends!
Dialing for OBOs is trying to reach me.
I used to have a friend, Portia.
Oh Spice Christ, won’t you buy me a bee-truck today?
My friends all have couch-snakes, they bought them for free.
Cat-Math’s not helping, nor is the caveman standee.
Oh Spice Christ, won’t you buy me a bee-truck today?
!+elebenty++!!! Jim Morrisons for that one sarajean.
Notice there are 2 pinky rings, and 2 wrong person…
Coinkydink? I think not!
What?
No paaaartriiiiiidge iiiin a pearrrrr treeeeeee?
Ok, we need Chelsea back, I just hope her academic schedule allows for more of that erudition upon future snark.
Poor Sparky, he lost or misplaced his stollen and is offering an iPod for the return of his sentimential cake. Or something like that.
Band name of the day:
Sentimental Bakers.
Tonight at the 40 Watt, supporting their new album “I Have Lost All Respect for Western Canada.”
What a conincidence! As self-appointed spokesperson for Western Canada, we have lost all respect for him too.
No! No! No! No more covers of MacArthur Park, ever!
Well fine!
puts unblubler over the cakes
But … But… I’ll never have that recipe again!
I think I hear Hammy and Mindfield howling at that last note.
Well, after reading this I have to agree…
I, too, have lost all respect for Western Canada.
Yours Very Truly,
Proclivities the Ho
Well, Miss Proclivities, perhaps if you didn’t stand so close to the road, I wouldn’t have driven my car into that puddle. It’s always so much fun to watch the blonde fright wig fall off after a good dousing.
As Western Canada’s attorney, I must ask that you cease and desist from any and all disrespectful comments about my client. Also, that you state, in writing, in triplicate and notarized, that you fully understand that neither Justin Beiber nor Sarah Palin are from here. Thank you.
I’ve never deviated from thinking that Sarah Palin is from the 9th level of Hell. Canada is safe on that front.
I think Sarah’s not important enough or smart enough to reach the 9th circle. I’ve always thought she was probably consigned to the greedy 4th circle or, at best, the sullen 5th.
She’s smart like a fox sucking on an anchovy. I just wish she’d take her pastries/pasties and stay in Alaska for about half a year so I don’t have to hear her constant whining about every little thing in this country that she seems to take umbrage with.
Better yet, I wish she’d put on a wetsuit and start swimming for that country she can see from her house.
Here! Here! Although it won’t hurt my feelings at all if she forgets the wetsuit.
Andie, you be tankless! What’s wrong?
No worries, Windy – I just get to be “in front” today. Want a pinkie ring?
Dear Tankie, Esq…
I have here a writ..it’s a legal writ and it’s a writ for a rat.
Said rat being known as W.C. Figgleholfenmeisterburgerburgermeister.
Or, Western Canada, for short.
I intend to serve this writ to this rat and will have no more discussion about said rat writ.
Yours Truly,
Proclivities Ho
Dear Ms. Ho;
Are you sure that’s a rat and not a genie pig? How else can you explain getting that many people to live in a place like Western Canada?
Sincerely,
AndieJD, Esq.
P.S. I have associated counsel from the right coast, Ms. Bridgete, Esq., and request that you please cc her on all further correspondence.
AndieTankAndTankWhatever your name is today. The kids around here swear (yes, it does seem like a lot) that Justin Beaver isn’t real. He’s just pop star horror figure.One of my favorite bits of collegiate doggerel here in town is an inscription to the effect of justin B just being the natural consequence of a marilyn manson pregnancy (the original having a bit more invective and profanity in it).
I went to see Megamind (I highly recommend it, very funny) on Sunday and one of the previews was for a scary movie – a Justin Beiber documentary! AHHHHH!
You betcha.
Help. With a capital H.
Somewhere in Sparky’s subconscious, the last intelligent brain cell cries out, and then is silent.
“Do not go gently into that good night.
Rage! Rage against the dying of the smarts!”
***Again, I beg for mercy from my buddy Bill***
Jinkies, LL!
I’ll buy you a drink.
Thanks; after reading that, I need it.
I didn’t see this before I posted my similar comment! I agree with you Lola.
“selling powerless out for cheap thrils and petty theft”
So, battery not included? He’s really a good boy, he thinks of his mom, whom he does not appreciate, just like everyone else.
Wait, what?
I think of his Mom too.
I hate it when the powerless goes out. Did someone forget to pay the non-electricity bill again?
Someone is feeling the combination of Osoyoos weather (110 F all summer long) and B.C. bud.
Oh, Osoyoos is a *place*? I was wondering what the dickens that meant, with the extra quotes and all.
Yeah, Osoyoos is indeed a beautiful town in western BC, Canada. Can’t say there’s much to do there, but it’s certainly worth the trip to google earth.
Pretty lake, fun twsity roads to ride motorcycles on…
Oooh..oooh!! Awesomesauce town name…
Degobah, MN…
Pure awesomesauce…
I knew they filmed that in MN, I could tell by the natives.
I met him in a swamp down in Degobah, where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda… S O D A soooda!
Pffffft, Weird Al
Where you think he gets all his stuff?
😉
YSaC lurker, you think?
I dunno, ads from the back of a comic book?
I dunno either, any William H. Macy movie?
He did beat me to the YSaC theme song though 🙁
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4sALru9IJk&feature=channel
OMG this is the coolest.thing.ever. Wierd Al for YSaC Prime Minister!
Not true, Sparky. Everyone loves your mom, it’s you everyone finds utterly repellent.
Actually, I hate his mom.
I hate her in a “cocain is not a contraceptive, stupid” kind of way.
Cut the lady some slack, I’m sure every time she dropped him she caught him on the third or fourth bounce.
I think the most telling part of this post is:
“$10,000 in moneies and meds stolen”
with emphasis on the MEDS.
surely its harder to steal moneies?
first of all you have to work out WTF they/it/she/he is? then how to steal it? into a bag or a box or a car or a truck or a trunk or a small purse or a rucksack or a train carriage or …. or ……
* reaches for sto.. liberated, meds *
…On a bus, in a bar [oxford comma], in a grocery store…
…scrap, scrap, scrap they call him the scrapper…..
All out of songs
By: Drug Supply
I’m feeling alone without my headphones
Drinkin’ a few cuz it hurts
I know I lost you but what else can I do
But offer up your spare parts
I wish I could carry my songs on my wrist
For times when my drug supplies are so low
It would make me believe that J-love could sing
Where I lost you I don’t really know, don’t really know
I ‘m all out of songs, I so lost my nano
I know you were right in my pocket for so long
I ‘m all out of songs, I hope they don’t clone you
I was up too late smoking my home made bong
I want you to come back and play me hip hop
All through these long lonely nights
I’m reaching for you, but you’re lost in Osoyoos
Does the stealing seem oh so wrong
And what would you say if I called you cocbliocker
And said that you were a Ho
There’s no easy way, a new myth each day
Please appreciate me or I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone
I ‘m all out of songs, I so lost my nano
I know you were right in my pocket for so long
I ‘m all out of songs, I hope they don’t clone you
I was up too late smoking my home made bong
Oh, where is my pinky ring?
Where is my pinky ring?
Oh, where is my pinky ring??
Where is my pinky ring??
I ‘m all out of songs, I so lost my nano
I know you were right in my pocket for so long
I ‘m all out of songs, I hope they don’t clone you
I was up too late smoking my home made bong
Aw, Hammy. Many doors for your ability to make songs out of nothing at all.
I’ll give him doors too, in lieu of belly rubs.
That was spelled correctly, right?
I usually spell it “li7eu”. but the 7 is optional.
If you are talking about Mary Tyler Moore, then it is “in Lou”
What’s in me, Hammy?
Ed Asner
Judging by your avatar, a canary.
HAHAHA. S/He does look like s/he’s just stuffed her/himself with one, doesn’t s/he?
I hate pronouns.
I’m trying to decide if Ed Asner or Miller Lite is worse.
You can have both, you don’t have to choose…
And now I’ve got
“out of nothing
out of nothing at all
making love
out of nothing at all…”
in my head.
methinks someone has too much time on their hands?
… and too much talent! Kudos to HamCam …. we are not worthy.
Hammy I have tears of joy for your brilliance. At least I understood what you said.
Well, a friend of mine named Drug Supply wrote that song and he told me it was the perfect YSaC song. I wrote him back a letter and I told him it was not the perfect YSaC song because he hadn’t said anything at all about bees, or beerboxhats, or trucks, or lions, or Lionel Richie. Well he sat down and wrote another verse to the song and he sent it to me, and after reading it, I realized that my friend had written the perfect YSaC song, and I felt obliged to include it on this album. The last verse goes like this here.
Well I was drunk the day I bought a beerbox hat.
And I went to pick it up in my truck.
But before my striped lion and I could get around the swarm of bees,
Lionel Richie smeared cheese all over his head.
I thought the last line was really:
… you got runned over by a damn ole’ ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER! ROOFER
Isn’t the chorus, “red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free, red table for sale, take it for free.”
I think that’s in the techno dance remix, kelli.
learn’t: to lear not
I have a degree in learing… Or is it leering? I can never remember…
I’m not sure which you mean. Do you have a daughter named Goneril?
Oh, never mind, I see below that your daughter’s name is Dammit. Your degree must be in leering.
And when I say “Degree”, I mean “Restraining Order”
And by “in”, I mean “because of”
And by “Leering”, I mean “from the bushes at night, through the window…”
Moira’s theory was dead on, less gives us more, more gives us a collective headache.
Too much seems to fill up the brain and give me snarkstipation.
Today’s sinus-enema was brought to you by the word…
…snarkstipation…
*is very happy she drinks only water when at the YSaC lounge*
But the more is so *fascinating*…
Blackmail? Selling out for “cheap thrills” and “petty theft” of some unknowable amount? Conspiracies to keep him from making friends? And, finally, and end to his “existence” apparently.
I can’t tell how much of this is in his head and how much is him getting caught up in something shady.
And what’s all this “in front” stuff? My first read through, it felt like he was working at a shop or restaurant and stuff happened while he was in the back but on second reading, I’m thinking I interpreted that wrong.
I hate when Cocbliocking Haters from Canada* clone my pinky rings instead of storing them safely away from 2 Wrong Person** because they are out for for Cheap Thrils and Petty Theft.***
*My Triumph cover band
**My 2 Live Crew/ Missing Persons cover band
***My Cheap Trick/ Tom Petty cover band
I just love that Sparky admits he needs professional help. And has lost respect for Western Canada.
I’m
You’re
Aren’t we all?
But
Porcupine
At a loss for words?
Here’s one NO.
Gah… Women always go to that word first…
It’s instinct.
I was always afraid my daughter would think her name was “No”.
I had a dog once that thought his name was “Dammit”.
Better than Dammit.
It could work out! I wish I had thought of naming my daughter No!
Just think, she’s 21, at the bar for the first time (yeah, right!) and some sleaze ball comes walking up, slingin’ his cheezy lines:
“Hey Baby, what’s your name?”
“No”
“Aw come on, baby, just tell me your name, so we can get to know each other better”
“No”
Sorry CJ, didn’t mean to step on your toes there…
Bombdude — Mr. A. has said all along that when “No” turns sixteen, he’s going to retire and follow her around (yes Taco stalk) with a shotgun. That is basically his retirement plan. As she get’s closer to 16 the number decreases.
I had a dog named Comeer.
I should have named him Nevermindi’llcometoyou
When I was a kid, my grandparents had a dog named Missy with a proclivity to misbehave…(:-D) For a couple years, I thought her name was “Missyno!”
Artsy, the timing of my daughter’s teenage years was perfect. Right smack alongside my bomb disposal career. So when she brought her first “boyfriend” home, I was standing at my workbench, wires and electronics all over, with a small “device” in front of me…
boyfriend: “Whatcha doin?”
Me: Making a small explosive device. Basically, a booby trap. You see, I place this just so, and set up a trigger so that when someone opens the door… “BOOM!!!! splatter… It’s for work…”
boyfriend: “oh…”
Me: “You make sure you are a gentleman and treat my little girl right, now, ya hear?”
😀
Let me just articulate for Carnivore’s sake: I was making “training” devices, with buzzers instead of explosives…. The “BOOM!!! splatter” was quite hypothetical.
Hypothetical?
That’s what they all say, Bombdude. 😉
They have to… You never know who might be listening…
*puts on tinfoil hat
We all know who is listening, the trick is in not letting the cards show in our eyes.
And in choosing word combinations carefully, like “ionizing particulate dispersal device.” Which is even better than “fissile explosives” for swiveling ears, if certain tin-foil-hat types are to be believed.
But, it’s ok, the tinfoilers are all still agog about the “chemtrail” from yesterday, and whether that was Cardassians or Drazi after either Orii or Goa’ld (it’s Darhel, you want my guess).
@Bombdude: you forgot the part about the bottle of Jack Daniels and the pistola laying to the side on that workbench.
and the part about “I don’t mind going back to prison“. I can’t remember the comedian who said that.
Sorry Cap’n, you lost me… I can’t keep up with the Kardashians… Or their chemtrail..
You did not see that there was a furor about an exhaust plume/contrail that originated somewhere around Catalina island and paralleled the L.A. coast line before terminating?
Slow news day had it on a number of feeds; was some live video of the contrail drifting in the winds.
Tinfoilhat brigades have convinced themselves that the mundane physics of contrails is far too simple an answer and have entire web memes on “chemtrails” and have ascribed every imaginable ill to same–everything from fertility-enhancers to increase population to fertility-reducers to decrease the world population (the content is wacko enough to make the four-corner earth cube time seem rational.)
I’ll see if I can find a link and send it to you on f/b
Artsy – I think it’s Bill Engvall.
Darhel? Thank goodness I’m west coast, then. The Posties’ll eat me last. ‘Course I *could* just move up to Canada (and see if I can convince Justin B and Sparky that VA is a much better place to live)…
Ah, but the “chemtrail” was just west of L.A.
(And the Himmit were clearly tweaking the Darhel.)
Turns out it was an AmericaWest flight climbing through the inversion layers, and those layers “captured” the contrail that resulted.
**jedi motion**This is not the alien intervention you saw…
Random words strung together to almost make sense but not quite aardvark.
I’m not quite an aardvark, either…
I’ve always pictured you as more of a spiny echidna, EB.
Holy Hannah, that’s a funny looking creature…. Thanks, SJ, really appreciate it :-p
I think they’re kinda cute in a Darwin’s grab bag sort of way. Just look what MiniEB would look like as an echidna!
http://www.cutenotcute.com/cute-pets/Echidna–Anteater-176.jpg
Haha, I suppose they do have an appeal :-p Hmm, I should tell MiniEB to check in here–the only problem is that my poor laptop is about 20% functional, and Mr doesn’t let Mini use his MacBook :-p
Echidnas are awesome for two reasons: their pouchlings are called “puggles” and the males have a very interesting anatomy.
Moira, would you like to expand on that last part?
Ooh ooh I know this one! Pick me!!
Male echidnas have… 4 heads. Two are active during any one ‘act’ and they SWAP which ones are active each time! Coolest ever!!
I really kinda love echidnas. They are proof that Ma Nature has a fantastic sense of whimsy!
I’m questionning Sparky’s shifts from near rationality (professional Help) and sheer drug-induced (I’m guessing) stupidity. I think he needs a reboot.
I volunteer to travel to Canadarama and hit Sparky’s reset button.
And by “reset button” I mean “head”.
And by “hit” I mean “whack with a clue by four”.
Remember the reset button meme we had here a while ago? Might have been JcT and Tuffy, if I recall correctly.
I think he has a boot sector virus…
*Boots to a DOS prompt*
fdisk /MBR
There all fixed!
Thanks Hammy, now I feel old.
My favorite is when you have to do a fsck on the hard drives….
Never thought to hear the word “fsck” come out of a cake maker’s mouth…
My favorite was seeing smoke come out of a hard drive (no it wasn’t mine).
That would be a hard on to fix…
DOS prompt C: brew coffee
regular roast: F5= safe mode shift + F5
RESTORE /Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Hey, letting OS2 open a kernel to run Win 3.nnn so as to use a Cardinal 28.8baud modem–now there was a process that let a person brew a pot of coffee: grind the beans fresh; wait for the water to boil; charge the Chemex maker, the whole kit-n-kaboodle . . .
Did I miss anything?
😉
nope .. Happy Friday.
So, this week went Monday, Monday, Friday? You’re hurting my sense of order, Artsy, but I’ll take the three-day week!
You’re to much of a traditionalist Stephanae, you have to learn to go with the flow.
Heh, I forgot to take any vacation this year, and can’t carry vacation days over into the next year, so I’m flipping my work weeks over for most of the rest of the year. 5 day weekends until Christmas vacation (except during the two weeks I may have to go to India).
Wheeeee!
Awsome! I wunna do that too!!
I’ll be in Lola’s home town (Spokane) most of next week playing with the big KA dishes over there. Then maybe Afgainstan for a while next year 🙁
Probably be in your neighborhood next year a few times BD, I usually make a few trips to Ridley park and various other places on that side of the Mississippi every year…
If you do, hit me up, we’ll do lunch and trade secrets…
Mine has been Monday, Monday², then Monday/2 + n(e) – 1.28E4 joules
We are experiencing one of the very few benefits of State employment tomorrow – days off for random holidays! Tomorrow being Veteran’s Day, we all have way too many barbecues to go to and last-minute gifts to wrap and put under the tree, so we get it as a holiday. And then come back for one day on Friday. I am expecting about 3 people to show up at the office that day. (Besides me, of course.) The rest will be too hung over from the alcoholiday.
Thank you Andie for clarifying what the real meaning of Veteran’s Day is all about.
Will you be wearing glitter?
Tankerbell will be. I don’t get to be “in front” on holidays honoring the military.
Oh, BTW, I put in that fiend request on fb.
Oh joy. Tomorrow I can sleep in! *whew*
What can you sleep in, Mudsy?
muh birf’day suit.
Oddly enough, tomorrow is Veterans’ Day, and a county holiday, and I do get to sleep in. But for me that means still getting up at 6 am to turn on bird lights, check YSaC, maybe comment, then go BACK to bed. Ah, the perfect morning.
There are days when I think trepanning is insane and then there is today when I think there are probably some people in the world that would benefit from drilling a hole into their head. (sorry, came here after reading a reference to trepanning)
And some people already have too many holes in their heads and random crap leaks out all over the internet.
….and their keyboards.
No, that’s what happens when you’re drinking while you read YSaC… didn’t you see my PSA? :-p
Please. Think of the children. *how was that?*
That’s how I found my way here many moons ago. Someone referenced hirudotherapy and I was like, “I’m in”!
I had no idea you had a leech fetish, Mudsy.
It was my baby-steps into Vampirism.
😉
Totally read that as “hydrotherapy” the first time ’round.
Can you lobotomize someone through trepanning? If so, I’m liking your treatment recommendation for this Sparky. At least, if we can get to him before his existence ends. Or not, since ending him might be an even better treatment option.
Wellll…I dunno ’bout you all, but I’m fairly certain I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
How profound, Wizard!!!
I’m suspecting someone in “the front” has already lobotomized Sparq’ here–whether chemically or with a long needle is really quibbling (or, kibbling) at this point.
Oh no, someone stole my doors too. I demand you give them back. NOW
But I’m making a fort! *mumble* never get to have fun, give the doors back, don’t use drunk people as bait, don’t shout “eureka” at passing cars *mumble*
So this does have something to do with a New World Order, right? Sparky gave up his iPod before going to join a Front organization for an NWO in Canada and now that he’s disappointed because “a fair and unblackmail controled” isn’t more than a myth, he wants his iPod back? Also, he’s concerned that his pinky rings could be valuable “2 wrong person” (obviously for blackmail purposes) and just wants to make sure they’re in a safe place before he ends his existence? He must want to listen to his hip-hop one last time before he goes, too.
Good job trying to make sense out of that stream-of-unconsciousness up there. The whole pinky ring = blackmail in the wrong hands has me stumped.
Maybe Sparky thinks the pinky rings were made from pieces of the Allspark, and he’s worried that the Desparkticons are going to get a hold of them, use them to get to the main location of the whole allspark, and then take over the world!!!
Pinky: Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky – try to take over the world!
Awwww Precious…there you go coveting your rings again.
p.s. Desparkticons are a sub-species of Cocbliocking Haters*.
*citation: The Sparkidribble-Biblical Evolution Codex
Desparkticons. Love it. Autocraigs?
Autospambots.
“I think so Brain, but I’ve still got a bug stuck up there from last time.”
One pinky ring to rule them all…
One pinky ring to find them,
one iPod nano to bring them home,
and in the darkness … hey, I can’t find them!
Many many doors.
Dear Sparky;
The nwo moon church vapid stolen borrowed lost iPod accessories will be squirrel. Canada cold dark maple covered pinky rings have been cheese. Disappointment common in the snow with rubber ducks. Up front, up front, learn never to up front, for it is to be tree! Yes, you need professional Help. A neon platypus wanders yellow. Seek out the colon. Erase the “cocbliocking haters” stealing monies and meds. Take your meds. Eat a sunbeam.
Many doors! to many too list!
8gb Ipod Nano
*Anagram fun*
Big Poon Dna (I can think of better things to clone…)
Go In And Bop (Sign on a brothel)
Ian Bond G.O.P. (Roger Moore for president!)
Big Noon Pad (Napping spot)
Boa Nip Dong (Snake bite, you’re gunnna die!)
Nice, but you dropped the 8 from the anagrams.
x8
I fear the “others in front” is a reference to multiple personalities ( “Dissociative Identity Disorder” for fans of the DSM IV).
Today I am in front instead of that disrespectful cocbliocker Tankerbell. Beeyotch gave away my pod and pinky rings, now all
I got is this walkman duct taped to my arm and Barry Manilow cassettes.
The great thing about Barry Manilow cassettes is that you can stop playing them.
I keep them around for when company stays to long…
You know I cocbliock without you.
I cocbliock without you.
I can’t front and I can’t clone.
I’m braging about haters who won.
You see I took hits for my team,
But respect was a dream.
If only you’d let me find friends who are new.
I just cocbliock without you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ursTBD0sZ0&feature=related
I make no secret of my Manilove.
His name was Sparky, He was an Asshat,
With an iPod in his hair and two rings that weren’t nowhere.
His comments wandered and they caused mindfarts
But while he tried to travel far
He was lost without a car.
So he crawled across the floor, the NWO was at the door!
That’s what the Ho’ was for…
At the Copa, CopaCanada
The hottest spot north of Montana
At the Copa, CopaCanada
Delusion, ir-rational were always in fashion(al)
At the Copa…..He fell in drugs….
Arrgh, well, that was new.
Had a nifty reply on how Sparq’ self-identified his problem yet mananged to elude all the Provincial mental health people. Which then devolved into a run-on sentance of ramble-ness invoking all manner of being Canadian, including two references to Trailer Park (and the one Julien-specific, too).
To then press Submit, and be given the all-too-familiar 400 error. Except that, this time, the Comment was not saved.
No doubt is was the front people cloning nanos into pinky mood rings that send the secret signals to the clerk at the store when y’ur tryin’ t’buy a case of LaBatts wit’ no ID and only Venusian jerkzets for coin an’ the hottie is outside an’ is ‘up’ for it, jus’ up, y’knonw y’know–and purdy, too; even if that one antler haint shed yet dur dur dur dur dur …
Ow. That sucks, Cappy!
I long ago acquired a habit with web forms everywhere of typing Ctrl-A, Ctrl-C in long text before ever clicking any kind of button. Once in a while I forget, but I’ve been grateful to this habit on more than one occasion.
Well, the last paragraph above refromed in my head (it’s ok, I’m medicating that away <G>) while typing (or typoing), so it was not all lost.
I’m willing to risk the loss of content here, we have more than enough brilliance to make up for any feeble additions I make. It was more that, in our history of complicated connection issues, I’ve never had the “bad Post permission” error eat an actual comment. it was ‘early’ too–usually bandwidth issues seem to happen later in the afternoon. I sent an email to my minions, to poll the routerbots, see if anything noteworthy could be seen. But, since it’s MCBD, there’s a bit of distraction laid on.
[OT ]– Ya’ll have messed with my. I was looking on e-bay for “green silk ribbon” and I saw what I thought said “green minty shell” and looking at it some more it said “green military shell”. The strange things our mind does.
Continue with regularly scheduled snarking.[/OT]
Artsy, you’ve seem to have lost your mind.
Many doors, kelli, all for you. How did everyone miss that?
I thought she was meaning to say discreetly , “Y’all have messed with my period.”
So I didn’t second guess it.
I found it, it’s on this nano I picked up in Osoyoos…
Thank you Kelli. Everyone keeps telling me that.
I’m afraid that I’m with Capt. It’s been one of those months of Mondays for awhile.
Aside: 10 November is the Birthday of the U.S. Marine Corps.
Semper Fi you leathernecks, past, present, and future; the rest of the Seas Services (and I have two Coasties to vouch for this) are celebrating with you.
Thank you Cap’n!
Time for Cake!
Semper Fidelis
Semper fidelis feliz cumpleaños! Veni Vidi Ricky Ricardo!
Bombdude…step away from the candles. The last thing I want to tell you to do is “Blow!”
I’d blow a marine….wait, that didnt’ come out right.
<G> Desi <G>
lets see,
Hugh Branham (Mr. Greenjeans)
Bob Keeshan (Cap’t Kangaroo)
Bob Bell (bozo the clown)
Glen Bell (Taco Bell founder)
John Besh
Don Adams
Drew Carey
Brian Dennehy
Scott Glenn
Gene Hackman
Lee Marvin
Ed McMahon
Steve McQueen
George C Scott
Jim Whitmore
Jonathan Winters
Buddy Rich
Jon Corzine
Dr Thomas Sowell
May have to look a few more up. Lee Marvin did not serve with Bob keeshan, despite intertube tales to the contrary. Lee was wounded on Saipan, though. Ed McMahon was a pilot.
We are surrounded by Marines, and they are often quiet, hard-working folk who whave put down the sowrd to take up a plowshare.
Just something about over-frosted sheet cake (O to have EB make one of these one year) with over-spiked punch, and with a mix of senior officers and young EM and quite a few experienced folk in the middle making the mischief they know best . . .
I love Marines because I’m a beach girl.
That’s good, because we love beach girls…
Well, ok, just girls… 😉
Been seeing lots of bumper stickers lately that read, “Not as lean, not as mean, Still A Marine.” Gotta love that kind of loyalty.
Happy Birthday, Marine Corps. Rock on, Marines. Not that you need me to tell you that. Yanno, cuz, you can pretty much rock whenever or wherever you want. Not that you would. Because you’re U.S. Marines, and therefore always faithful, and not just running around invading random countries just because you can. Which, you know, you can. Not that you need me to tell you that. Yanno, ‘cuz your’e thoroughly trained military mo-sheens. Of whom I am very healthily fearful. Not that you’re scary. No, I didn’t mean that. I’d never say you’re scary. Unless, you know, you wanted me to. Oh, boy. Shutting up now. Cake?
Well, now, contemplate a whole group of folks in snappy black dress uniforms and blood-striped blue trousers standing around with cake and punch telling sea stories.
I’m afraid I can’t get past imagining that the Sentimental Bakers left the Marines’s cake in the rain. It sort of ruins the picture.
Try picturing Marines standing around in the rain with the cake. Uniforms are optional.
Now that’s a vision I can buy into! Is Kelli in the picture
blowing. . . err, never mind.Not optional here, quite clear directive to wear at least Service Dress Blue. Which is simpler than Mess Dress (and much easier on the MSEPs who don’t always have Mess Dress).
Been to several birthdays where rain was the least of our worries. If it’s birthday time, cake magically appears, along with libation. Keep an eye out for Marine Corps Balls this weekend, ladies. Guaranteed good time. I know there is one happening in Atlanta. My most favorite Gunny is taking two of the civilian girls to show them off.
Happy Birthday, Marine!
Doc sends.
[OT] Happy 111010! Only ten binary days left this century. [/OT]
I had something snarktastic to reply with, but I forgot what it was when I noticed your new avvie, Stephanae..
*wipes drool
Not fair distracting like that
*snaps fingers
It suddenly occurs to me why women wear those low cut tops when they want to shoot pool(at least those who can’t run the table normally). No wonder I always start losing…
Perhaps you were going to point out that the year 2100 is technically in this century, too? Or maybe that I should have said 1010 instead of 10? If it helps with the distraction at all, my back is nearly 10 (or 1010) years older, now.
I think he’s clean missed your reference to having consumed MRE while in military service, too . . .
You might be right, Cappy. On the other hand, that might be part of what’s making him drool. 🙂
Hey! Stephanae’s back!
I have a “Belly etc” from too many pumpkin muffins this fall. Delicious delicious fattening pumpkin muffins. omnomnom
Belly etc. Sounds like a mall shop for preteen proclivities.
I haz a proclivity to tessellate…
Well, wish us luck! Tomorrow, the band’ll be leaving for Bands of America Grand Nationals. We go on at 4:30 PM on Friday, for any of you who may happen to be watching the live streaming video on the Music For All Fan Network or happen to be attending.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Break a trombone player!
Kick ass and take names, Astro! Make your YSaC family proud!
Well, over 13 hours and over 300 comments later, and this is still incoherent.
G’night, and an advance thank you to all our veterans.
This has been a snarktastic day! Spacebug, here’s your Punchity Punch Punch! And an honorary to Karmyn!
G’Night, Osoyoos!
why do eat so much of you. i need some strength, muscle tone. i now have severe diareah. whats your name again? i have no unidentified friends yet. is this family? i want this disease. i need an addiction i to claim, somewhere to waiste away but not be alone. going down the drain together. i need a kitty face. why the kitty faces?