YSaC, Vol. 830: Fork you!
Air Raid yards
I have 3 houses that need the yars air raided. the 3 houses are really close to each other. 2 houses are right next to each other and the 3rd is 2 houses down. I have had one price of 60 a yard to do it and seed. i had a naother company tell me 38 just to air raid. I am looking to see what other people offer to do the job for. looking to get it done real soon.
True story: I grew up in a relatively small town with nothing to do. In high school, we used to amuse ourselves on weekend nights by sneaking onto the lawn of a friend’s house and putting huge numbers of forks in the lawn. We called it going “forking”. (We were very creative. We were also very responsible, and would go back the next afternoon to pick up the forks and save them for reuse the following weekend. [We were also very dorky.])
Ahem, anyway. The inevitable happened, and one evening I got forked. My mother woke up the next morning to a sea of plastic cutlery sticking out of the yard. Her reaction? She called the lawn management company and asked them why they had stuck a plethora of plastic forks into the grass. Needless to say, they had no idea what she was talking about, and more or less hung up on her after calling her crazy.
Later, after I had explained this strange hobby to her, I asked her what on earth would make her think that Chemlawn would have put hundreds of plastic forks in the yard. Her response? “I thought they might be trying to aerate the lawn.”
So, Sparky, if you’re really looking for a cheap way to air raid your lawn, may I suggest a passel of bored teenagers and hundreds of plastic utensils? If it makes you happier, I’m sure you can have them drop them from the roof or something.
Thanks for the nostalgia, Chris!
We could always see if Snoopy is done with his Red Baron hijinks.
Ha! My comment was going to be:
There are easier ways to deal with wild chihuahua packs than calling in The Red Baron.
That’s for getting your yips air raided, not your yars.
You know what they say about great minds…
They think really strange things.
I’m so confused…would someone like to clarify what they want?
I keep thinking…Why do you want bombs dropped on your lawn?
NMN – Here you go: Aerating Your Lawn………
Oh wait…Aerate* = Air raid? They’re…pretty stupid, then.
*Trust me when I know what it means to aerate a lawn; I’ve had to do it before.
Time to call the sky pirates to get the yars air raided
Sky pirates in flight
Afternoon air raid
Heavens to Betsy! There’s a song I haven’t heard since Mudsy was building an ark.
That’s cuz I planted the trees she used to build the ark.
I think maybe if they call the sky pirates, they might get something lame like this. Although blimps air raiding some lawns in a neighborhood would at least be something interesting to see on a Monday evening.
Clearly, the Red Baron has grown tired of the constant dogfighting with a beagle and has, instead, decided to turn his attention to his unsuspecting tenants.
Sadly, stuck in the 1910’s, Red doesn’t realize that 60 bucks for air raiding is a steal.
If he keeps this up, Snoopy’s offer to air raid for a 20lb. bag of Kibbles is going to start to look pretty good.
Sparky keeps using those words. I don’t think they mean what s/he thinks they mean.
Moooooom, SJ stole the gag that I stole from Princess Bride!
That’s nice dear, now go eat your nachos.
SJ’s got more guacamole than me!
*Sigh*
You’re not going to start claiming that I’m breathing all your air, are you? ‘Cause my sister’s already tried that one.
I will not.
You are, however, over the line and therefore on my side.
Don’t make me stop this house again!
He started it, Mama Windy.
Mama Windy, are we there yet? I havta potty!
Besides, they’re not i nthe house, they’re in the yars!
Oh, good point, Capn. Taco, there’s a bush right over there.
Ever since the end of World War 2, this service has been just so hard to find.
What?
The sirens are really distracting, too.
Yes but they really are quite lovely…oh you meant the loud, annoying air raid sirens? I was thinking of something quite different.
My kind of sirens are distracting too, but in a different way.
I can’t believe no one said anything to this…not even Hammy!
The sirens distracted me
Not if you have the right laser designator (and a tac-radio or sat-phone handy).
If Sparky does, in fact, mean “air raid” and not “aerate”, then it’s awfully convenient for him/her that s/he has three enemies s/he feels deserves aerial bombardment all living in the same area. I do feel sorry for whomever lives in those two house between them – there’s sure to be some shrapnel.
H-hello, Prudential? *house shattering kaboom* *line goes dead*
And now you really own a piece of the rock… Hey! There’s another piece over there!
“My, but she was yar!” Katharine Hepburn
You have my utmost respect for that movie reference
we could also add “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
I submit that if your gopher infestation is to such a degree that you have to call in an air strike, perhaps you should just cede the land and find more suitable accommodations, because chances are those gopher are, as we speak, undermining your house’s foundation and at any minute your house will suddenly find itself ten feet shorter than it was when it was first built. Also, they are probably doing this because they have become carnivorous and see this as the best way to trap and eat you.
(Coming soon, from Troma Video)
“Correct me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key…”
“Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The little brown, furry rodents! ”
You two, Manda and Mindfield, are full of win today! 8)
The caddychack reference aside; there are too many golfers who resemble furry brown rodents (just in argyle socks, cleats, and goofy hats).
Aside: Know why it’s called “golf”? All the other ‘four-letter words’ were taken.
It’s like Tremors… but with gophers.
And without the weekend drinking binge? Oh, wait. Never mind.
That’s for the third movie…
(Yes, I’ve seen them all. In a weekend. And yet, as you may have already guessed, no alcohol was involved… I was relatively newly married, though, so I think that counts as an altered mental state.)
I operate on the Monty Python principle where you don’t cede the castle no matter how many times it catches on fire, falls over, and then sinks into the swamp. An air raid sounds like a perfect solution for a gopher issue
Stop That Singing! You! Get a drink of water!
Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.
It’s no so much the losing a son, as in gaining, in a legally-binding sense, a daughter . . .
Um…Spam? Something about a hand grenade?
*uses up all her MP knowledge, exits stage left*
Astro? Taco? Quick, overdo it.
I never wanted to be a barber
I wanted to be a … Lumberjack
Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK…
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
BOOM!!!!
There all done.
[reminiscence corey]
The first time I saw a lawn that had been aerated, it was the play yard at my elementary school (is it me or does doing this during the school year seem futile, like trying to aerate concrete?). I thought the little cored bits of earth were dog crap. (I still think they look like that, though now, at least, I understand the concept.) Lots and lots of dog crap. I found it distressing and wouldn’t play on the grass for some time.
[/schoolyard corey]
I had a similar experience, but the schoolyard determination was that it was some kind of burrowing worm that was causing the clumps of dirt to be pushed out of the grass.
Our conclusion was that a worm that caused that much destruction to the lawn wouldn’t hesitate at burrowing into a kid. We stayed off the grass.
Taco and Lola:
When your school yard was air raided, did they put all the desks out on the lawn and have everyone duck under them and cover their heads? School desks must have been made out of secret futuristic materials back then.
No, Mudsy, that was the early ’80s, where we had Reagan, Brezhnev, and Mutual Assured Destruction. I think they thought that the MAD meant that either we didn’t need the desks because it wouldn’t happen, or we were doomed anyway.
[duck and cover corey]When I was in grade school (late ’80s) we had “hurricane drills” which involved going out into the hall, lining up against the walls, and assuming the “duck and cover” turtle-like position with our foreheads pressed against the baseboards. (Think about how close that would make your nose to the floor of a public school. Yeah, lots of fun.) I really wish we had iPods back then, it would have made it a lot more fun.[/corey]
Oh yeah, the ultimate nuclear game of chicken.
[total bullshit corey] When I went to school we didn’t have desks. We would just drag up a slab of slate to work on and take out our abacus for Arithmetic; papyrus and/or wax seals for Composition. We just used a flat board for Geography. And for Science, we just built an ark and collected 2 of every kind of animal. We used to use large rocks for dodge ball in gym. We didn’t have History because it wasn’t invented yet. [/total bullshit corey]
Hey!!! Were you in my school? That sounds exactly like mine, except for the papyrus… We didn’t have that till high school. Had to do with stone tablets and charred sticks.
Were you in my Sister Mary Joseph’s second grade class Bomby? I was the one in the back eating the paste.
p.s. I think there are still many schools in the South today that are still doing the ark thing for Science.
Mmmm… Paaaste….
Dodgeball?? You were lucky to have dodgeball! We had to play with sticks and hoops! Our idea of a saturday night was sacrificing a virgin!
Well, we didn’t actually call it “Dodgeball”. I think it was Stoning 101.
The thing I hated was having to go and pull the tail feathers off the geese to make quills with. My teacher would make the kids who misbehaved get feathers for everyone. Geese are so large and mean. I still have scars.
It was worse when you had to catch a dinosaur and wait for it to evolve feathers. Those things are wrigglers. Plus I got this weird rash when one peed on my leg.
It appears that I have nothing to add, so I’ll just go over here and cry in the corner.
Awww, c’mon G-Diddy… How about a nice amoeba story??
Yeah, Grampdaddy. A story! A story! “There we were, in the primordial ooze…”
“It was a tight squeeze in the universe those few nanoseconds before the big bang, but somehow Grampdaddy managed to fit by squeezing between a quark and some dark matter”
Ugh. Not the primordial ooze story again. Seriously, he’s told that at every family gathering since the dawn of time.
*exasperated eye roll*
For some reason we had nuclear strike drills where we had to stand in the hallways facing the lockers with our arms crossed behind our heads. I guess that was to ensure that the blast created lovely cartoon outlines of us on the wall.
Awesome! Like paperdoll cutouts all the way down the hallway.
Either that, or you could have posed. You know, some really dramatic death poses, and then some other kids posing in the shape of letters to spell out “F you, Ahmadinejad”, or “Fidel sucks” or something equally lyrical to leave a permanent, powerful message to whomever bombed you. (Of course, you’d need alot of kids to spell Ahmadinejad. It’d be a lot easier if you got bombed by North Korea.) And, of course, some kids could have made like shadow bunnies and birds with their hands.
Wow TB, just…wow.
Tank… You’re my hero(ine)!
Depends on how many pieces you sawed them into.
I don’t know anyone who will aerate your yard at that price, but I do know that you can get teenage boys to do “cropdusting” for free + all the bean burritos they can eat (YMMV).
I dunno, if sparky was local, my son would probably go dance in his yard with these on for $40
For $1, I’ll let my dog come bomb the yards. Same effect.
Maybe your dog needs more fiber then.
You’ve got to be very careful when you air raid Yars. You might invoke his Revenge.
*giggles*
Come on folks, give the man more adores! Or at least throw in a Star Trek counter-joke.
“Now is the winner of lawn aeration, made porous this summer by the son of Yar.”
Strangely enough, I have also gone forking, but I have never been forked.* As for Sparky’s air raid needs, I’ll just wander over to the air force base. I’m sure they won’t notice a missing fighter or two.
*Not having a front yard helped.
But kelli – isn’t it true you have a phenomenal front porch?
Quit staring at my porch!
*sigh* Poor kelli. Never been forked… How sad that you have never known the wonderful feeling of being forked by your sweetheart and 10 of her best friends whilst asleep. Never having felt the wondrous amazement of waking up to find yourself the victim of a blanket forking…
sigh I feel for you… you have truly missed out on one of life’s penultimate pleasures. You should spend the night at someone else’s house, who has a yard and go get yourself forked today!
GET FORKED!!!
So Bombdude, do you have a front yard?
:sigh: Yes, and I curse it every time I have to mow it. I’d lay concrete and paint it green if I was a bachelor…
Wait, is that a euphemism? If so, then no, I only have half a yard 😉
Friends don’t let friends get forked.
Do friends let friends fork other friends? Just curious *hides box of plastic cutlery*
No, but they can spoon…and if the really like each other maybe some sporking on the third date.
I would never have got that, I was sure they were talking about some sort of open-air fumigating. Brilliant payoff there at the end.
I went there too.
Growing up, they used to spray malathion from helicopters over all the ‘burbs really early in the am. If you were outside when they went over, you could feel the fine mist a’ falling. Stuff must work, I’ve yet to be bitten by a medfly*.
*Mediterranean fruit fly.
And they say Hooked on Phonics doesn’t teach you to speel.
Ay think u meen huked awn fawkins
Anybody still have some of those lawn darts? We could loan them to Sparky and his friend. They could air raid the lawns themselves. Might also result in fewer Sparky posts.
We used to do the fork thing, often spelling words and–if we were feeling especially fancy–connecting the dots with dental floss. So that’s one part of the story.
During this same period, I watched Comedy Central more or less incessantly, which at the time was a lot of compilations of stand-up shows. One bit I remembered was an observational comic talking about 24-hour grocery stores, and the crazy things people buy at 2am. So that’s another part of the story.
Some friends and I were trying to spell something out in a guy’s lawn, and were clearly going to run out of forks, so I drove to the nearest 24-hour grocery to get some more. While there, I noticed that kiwis were a fraction of the price they were at the store near my house, so I got some of those, too. In line at the one open register, I recalled the bit about what people buy at 2am. Ha ha, think I, there’s a tough-looking guy covered in tattoos, buying children’s cough syrup! And–ha ha–there’s two Hispanic guys with the most enormous bag of onions I’ve ever seen! And…oh…here’s me, with four boxes of plastic forks and a bag of kiwi.
We used to play the “pick three things to take to a cashier” game; some people would always choose sexually oriented things (KY Jelly, duct tape, and ____ ). I always preferred to choose odd things that didn’t really go together.
The game was won, though, by someone I actually got behind one night at a superstore. He was buying steak, underwear, and tennis balls. I decided that that combination was the winner.
I saw a good one a few years ago.
A woman was coming out of the store with a cart full of milk. And when I say full, I mean FULL. There must have been about 40 or 50 gallons of milk in that cart. My wife (then girlfriend) turned to me and asked the question, “Why on Earth would you ever need that much milk?”
My reply, “Obviously it’s for her milk powered car. At $1.79 a gallon, I wish my car ran on milk.” (This was back in the days of $4+ a gallon for unleaded).
Ever since then we occasionally discuss the economics of the milk powered car and whether it would be currently cheaper to drive such a car compared to unleaded. Right now, assuming equal miles per cubic knife, milk is still a cheaper fuel in Milwaukee.
I think I saw her brother. I was waiting for a bunch of people to meander across the crosswalk in front of the doors at Wal-Mart and one of them was a guy pushing a cart filled with cases of beer and what looked like twenty gallons of vegetable oil. All I could think was “Damn, he’s gonna have a hell of a night.”
I work at a grocery store and most of the time I don’t notice the combination of things people are buying unless it includes lube or condoms. One pair of what I will loosely deem gentlemen had a bottle of water based lube, dishwashing gloves, a turkey baster, and a box of condoms. They then proceeded to tell me exactly what they planned on doing with those things. I stood stonefaced and wished them a good day as they left. The only time I’ve come close to losing my composure over what a customer is buying was when a college aged couple bought a bottle of wine, wine glasses, condoms, and a cucumber. As soon as they left, I had to excuse myself so I could let out the fit of giggles I had contained.
Is it giving the milk lady too much credit to think she is bathing in it?
Did she perhaps smell skunky?
A cucumber? I tend to want things like cucumbers at parties where I know no one is going to have one of those handy party favors—what was it those things men bring to the party are called again? So did this couple include at least one guy?
*Rubs hands together*
Wehehehell, you are in luck little lady*
*Snerk*
Steph – it was a male and female couple which just made it funnier to me because I could just imagine them arguing over what size cucumber to choose
Hammy – put that cucumber away before you poke poor Steph’s eye out
You’re evil, Kelli! Now I have all kinds of naughty scripts trying to write themselves in my head. I can’t decide if it would have been even funnier if they’d shown up at the register with two very differently sized cucumbers.
Did Hammy really want to put that thing in my eye? He’ll have to find a really dead girl if that’s his fetish. Oh, dear. I think I’m the evil one. Am I supposed to say something about the line, now?
Ha, I played the same game! Sounds like the guy behind you was playing too.
Of course none of that would be weird these days. I regularly browse the clearance clothing and home furnishings at Target before doing my grocery shopping so I’m sure I’ve bought a toothbrush holder, undies and artichokes before.
Were you in the south for the oil and beer? Sounds like he was going to fry a turkey. Or a water buffalo.
This was way more oil than a turkey or water buffalo would require. More like “We ran out of Jell-o for Ladies’ Wrestling Night at Thee Dollhouse*.”
*A strip club in Raleigh. Yes, it’s spelled with the extra e. No, I don’t know why.
Some bar-buds were having a fish fry, after the trout-a-thon to support the local pool ($7, catch as many farm-raised rainbow trout as you could in an hour).
Get over to the house, and they needs stuff. My buddy and I realized we’d brought no beer for ourselves, so we volunteered to make the run to the stop-n-rob.
There we are, we’ve grabbed up every bottle of cooking oil in the store, and all the plastic trash bags, and we have a case of Bud in cans. On Saturday night, about quarter of ten.
We thought the clerk was eyeing us funny, and it was not until we piled the swag in the truck and were verbally checking off that we had gotten everything that the combination struck us.
I really shouldn’t have, but I went is to get a bag of the honey-roasted beer nuts. Clerk is still hincky, so I couldn’t resist, asked him “Ya gots any pr0n, ‘ere?” Clerk went to stammering. Paid and left–that poor dude probably still muttering about the scrazy rednecks in the store.
Sarajean, there’s one of those with the same misspelling in Philadelphia.
… It’s a chain?
It’s possible. It could just be a common name, like Foxxy Lady or The Beaver Den.
Maybe it was a Renaissaince (sp?) strip club.
[corey]They changed the name last year the “The Men’s Club”.[/corey]
I worked in a grocery store after high school/part of the time I was going to college, and the weirdest combo I ever rang up was only two things – Tampax and maraschino cherries. The woman who was purchasing them said (paraphrasing here) “Yeah, I know that’s kind of weird.”
I had to pick up feminine pads for TacoMa’am and decided I’d also buy myself a giant bottle of Barq’s red cream soda. The cashier asked me if I was a product tester.
There’s also the restaurant version of “guess what’s for supper” in watching other folk’s items at the checkout line.
That’s where there’s an impatient person with an entire cart of artichokes, 7 bags of shallots, and an Amp or Monster.
Did you tell the cashier, “Yeah, I’m a product tester in the same way that you’re an interrogator for the FBI.”
Once I got to flirting with a cute guy who was behind me in line at the grocery store. Thought I was SOOOOOO hot, until I got to the front and realized my cart had tampons, lean cuisines, and cat food. I was like the quintessential single cat lady. He was probably laughing his ass off the whole time.
I worked in the convenience store on campus in college. One Saturday evening, two young women came in and bought a bottle of wine, cookie dough, and porn. I rang them up, then gave them a wink and told them to have a great night.
Was in line behind Sparky at the seven-eleven one night, he had a quart of milk and a bottle of white wine.
The cashier, being clever, said, “Wine and milk, eh? Never tried that combination before.”
Sparky replies, “Oh, its great, keeps the kid quiet for hours.”
Cashier laughs, until it dawns on her that Sparky is not laughing.
There is a cashier at the farm supply store that still gives me the stink-eye every time I go there just because I once purchased a bunch of canned cat food and several pounds of lye.
Saturday, Chthulhu and I went to a local pet store and purchased 6 cans of cat food and a hopper (a baby mouse between fuzzy and full grown). The cashier wasn’t one of the regular people there who know us. She actually asked what was going to eat the hopper. Yes, I don’t have enough mice in the yard for my cats, so I got them a toy. (Actually the mouse was for the bearded dragon, an Australian lizard of incredibly sweet temperament)
Cool, a Bearded Dragon. I have a Komodo Dragon.*
*Not actually true
Komodo’s would make rather bad pets. They have a reputation for being too large for any given space, laze about uselessly, are irascable and ill-tempered, and frequently smell bad (on top of the halitosis).
Much like me.
Don’t forget the toxic bacterial cocktail in their saliva that can cause even the smallest bite to turn septic and kill you.
I can’t imagine why more people don’t have Komodo dragons for pets.
Thing Two was home for the weekend. After cleaning out the ‘fridge, he was on his way to graze Portillo’swhen I gave him some cash and said, “On your way home, stop by and pick up a pound of Komodo Dragon at Starbucks.”
He looked at me, shocked, and said, “Wait, they SELL that THERE? Can i get a whole one?”
I booked him an earlier flight back to school while he was out.
Air-Raided Yars is Irregular Fractal’s Air Supply cover band.
I thought it was his Air Supply, War, and Metallica mashup band. I suppose it’s my fault for thinking.
The crazy thing is, if you ask really nicely, sometimes they’ll do Air Supply covering Golden Earring. You know the song, Raid Yars Love.
I’ll just phoned the Luftewaffe … they’ll be over at 03.33 … roger and out. *what? The war ended? when? did anyone tell us? *
{personal corey} am enkjopying copics glesses of champganege as I’m kelebrting a brithdy. frm knw en I well B warng puprel end shi … shouting {personal corey ends}
Umm… Happy Birthday, I think.
you High-ness, happy birthday and many more. 8)
[corey]
You may want to turn off your phone, as, the German Air-war-ing-force is still called the Luftwaffe, and should you slur to the international operator, “Bitte, ich will mit die Deustches Luftwaffe aufsprechen” you wil lbe connected to a soon-to-be-confused aviator.
[/corey]
Hello tig! Drnuk psoting from arcoss teh podn! Happy birthday!
happy birfdy
Happy B-day Tig!!
I have neither forked nor been forked. Been neither forker nor forkee. I feel sad and deprived, but on the other hand, I can wear white when I do yard work.
*Sneaks over to TB’s house and puts forks in her yard*
Aw man!!! I wanted to do that Taco!! I’ve never forked a virgin before!!!
What?!
Fork a virgin
Aerate for the very first time
I’ve forked many virgins.
My friends were fond of buying bulk crap from the Oriental Trading Company and epoxying them to each others cars. Good thing we all droves junkers. Nothing says “too much time on your hands” like a battle of Gettysburg recreated with plastic ninjas on the hood of an AMC Eagle.
I want that on my car!!!
That’s what everybody says until they see how much the recreaton of Roundtop interferes with forward vision.
Agincourt is much simpler–hills down the two fenders, and a series of woods in the valley between. Finding the 20K French troopies is a pain.
The ninjas held up pretty well. They outlasted the car’s usefulness.
The worst thing that ever happened to my car was when my younger brother and sister went out after a rain storm, threw flour all over it and wrapped the entire car in newspaper. It took me 20 minutes, that I didn’t have to spare, just to get the windows clean enough to drive to work. Then, when it rained again, I got yelled at by the security officer at the plaza I worked at and I had to spend my lunch break cleaning the ooze off the parking lot. I never did get proper revenge.
Mind you, 26 October being St Crispin’s Day, Agincourt can occur to some of us. Change of the Light Brigade also ourred on 25 October–another hood-worthy diorama <G>
OT Question: Okay my little darlings, I’ve just left Border’s website totally confused about the amount of eReaders that are apparently out there now. Questions about what books are included in the “100 pre-loaded free books” and what readers are good for reading at the beach (of course!). General impressions and/or bad-good features you may have come across?
TacoMa’am is very happy with her Kindle Wifi Edition. Granted I’m not thrilled with their proprietary ebook format, but the battery life is long, the books from the guttenberg project transfer over very easily, there are a ton of free and cheap books available for it, and the screen contrast is the best I’ve seen (granted no color, but I say “meh” to color). The big disappointment of the thing is the built in MP3 player. For as useless as it is, it was barely worth including in the software. But as TacoMa’am has a stand alone MP3 player, it’s not a big deal. We haven’t used the PDF reader format, but I’ve heard this is the one big failing of the kindle, as it doesn’t not display images very well, if at all.
We also worked out that for the $139 pricetag of the Kindle Wifi, you only have to read approximately 50 free books to make it worth the money (This is assuming roughly $3 for a used copy of said book). This is something that TacoMa’am will probably have done within the next two years. At last count, having owned the thing for about a month, she’s already downloaded roughly 90 free books. She’s only read a few of them, but with it being able to hold about 3,500 books I don’t think she’s in danger of filling it up.
We’re considering getting a second one as I’m becoming increasingly covetous of it.
Thanks Taco. I was thinking about dabbling since people have either raved or been non-committal to the things. I didn’t give them a thought earlier because I, like you, was aware of the dinero-ratio factor (and I’ve got a ton of books already). I also am old-school in that I like the “presence” of a book and all that goes with that. But since the price seems to be coming down, I thought I would look into them for my dad for Xmas. You did help me.
I have a Kindle and ADORE it. The free books, both from Amazon and from mnybks.com are fantastic but the best thing is that I always have a library with me so I do not have to haul 7 books on vacation with me in anticipation of wanting something different than what I brought. And if I do want something different, I can download it and it doesn’t take up any more space in my bags!
When I started using it, too, I had this very eerie feeling… it seemed comfortable, familiar. I finally figured out that it was just about the size of the data pads used as props in Star Trek: TNG and DS9.
Now, people keep asking me if I’m planning to get an iPad and I say “FEH!”
It’s larger, heavier, and drains battery power faster. I have an iPhone if I want apps and music. For reading, I love my Kindle.
I love my Kindle too. Not lugging piles of books on vacation is a huge relief. And if I panic at the airport, thinking that I haven’t brought enough reading material, I just download some more.
It was only a few months ago that I was trying to decide what I wanted in an eReader. And I ended up buying an iPad, so I’m probably not the best one to ask, especially not if you want to read on the beach, because the thing really does suck for glare. But since I generally try to avoid direct sunlight at all costs, the glare thing doesn’t bother me much, and it’s better for reading in the dark. I do love being able to take my iPad to a coffeehouse with wifi, listen to music, read books, and keep up with YSaC or email, all on the same device (not to mention having a handy calculator, stupid games, and Netflix and other video, too).
My original thought was that I’d be able to shop around for books, and I have the apps for iBooks, Kindle, Nook, and Borders. That hasn’t worked out so well. Typically, when I want to buy a book, I go look for it on all the stores; it costs the same everywhere; and I end up buying it through Barnes and Noble, because I like the Nook app (and I don’t want to support Apple’s iTunes tyranny*).
If you don’t want to go the iPad route, it seems like Nook and Kindle are nearly the same. Unfortunately, Borders’s eBooks inventory just doesn’t seem as large as the others.
*Any more than I already have by buying the thing, I mean.
Are you Wednesday pale and mysterious, or just not a big fan of sunburn?
I’m just extremely photosensitive, dah-ling! Ow, my eyes!
*pssst*
:whispers: Smedley… That’s what all the vampires say!
Children of the night—what music they make!
Thanks Stephanae. Many of the peeps here in our Fine Arts department have got the iPad and really like it—especially the 3-D folks. I think I’d like to stick with the actual eReader for my pops since too much technology sometimes paralyzes him. Someone was telling me that they really like their Nook (which I think is from B&N?) and so that’s why I figured I’d toss out the question here since it became painfully obvious that there were a lot more choices out there than I had imagined. I’d like the iPad for myself but that just bumps up the $$ investment into a whole other realm and begs the question that if I’ve got a laptop, do I really need an iPad.
I’ve heard great things about Nook (yes, from B&N), including that it’s based on an open OS and reads more file formats than Kindle, if that would be an important consideration for your dad. Sometimes too much flexibility only hampers the technically uncomfortable, though. Nook does have a few other interesting features, like the “lend a book” thing, but I haven’t tried them.
An iPad is definitely a completely different level of investment. And I think that if I could stand laptops, I probably wouldn’t want an iPad. But I avoid laptops. My idea of a decent laptop is one that’s plugged into a real keyboard, mouse, and monitor. (Especially keyboard! Laptop keyboards make me completely insane.) So having a more limited device like the iPad works for me and makes a good excuse for not working too hard when I’m away from home or office.
Mudsy, fwiw, I have a coworker who raves about his Nook. (He even uses it on the reference desk, because he can prop it up under a little shelf and read and it’s not nearly as obvious as trying to hide a book.) The reason he got it was his partner could go in and buy it at the store and walk out with it, which is great if you live near at least one BN, as they do; if not, then Kindle might be more useful. My boss has a Kindle and we’ll get it away from him when we pry it out of his cold, dead hands.
What’s an eBook?
But in all seriousness, I like to read actual books. No electronic books for me.
I prefer actual books myself, but after moving what felt like several tons of printed matter the last time I moved, I can see the definite appeal to a purely electronic media.
Same here, SJ! I never thought I’d convert away from my beloved books. But they’ve taken over my storage space, and they weigh several tons. I’ve also discovered that it’s quite a bit easier to read while eating since I don’t have to hold the book open. On the other hand, I’m a bit nervous about taking my iPad into the bath with me and haven’t dared try it yet.
I’m with you, I’d rather drop a fifty-cent paperback I bought at a yard sale in to the tub than a hundred-plus ebook reader. I’ve actually perfected a method of eating with one hand solely so I wouldn’t have to put my book down. There are advantages to both but I’m never gonna go completely electronic. If nothing else, I’ll have a handily portable fuel source if there’s ever an extended nuclear winter.
I found the best way to store excess books is in large rubbermaid sweater boxes. The depth of the boxes is roughly the same as the width of a standard paperback, you can store them with the spines up so you can see what’s in the box at a glance when you take the lid off (or with it on if you get the kind with clear lids), they fit easily under the bed, and are really easy to move.
On the other hand, I’m a bit nervous about taking my iPad into the bath with me and haven’t dared try it yet.
Stephanae – not to be concerned – I’m sure that Hammy will be along very soon to volunteer to hold your book for you in the bath. Just don’t rub his belly.
Really? Do you think he would? That would be very kind of him. I had to let all my slaves go when the Roman empire fell.
Hehehe, she said wood.
I know both Chthulhu and I will always buy the real books, but I also see a day when we have our eReaders and duplicate the collections there. Chthulhu can read a 300-plus page book in a sitting. That would be a full day, but still. Handing him the ability to carry around a thousand books at any time would guarantee he never ran out of reading material. Nothing worse than sad Great Old One eyes over whimpering tentacles.
I will often carry an “emergency book” with me so that if I finish reading my main book I’ll still have something to read. I actually carried books with me into casinos on both trips to Vegas with Mom, I would lose my allotted five dollars and then take out my book and read until Mom decided it was time to go. (Of the five times I was carded while in Vegas none of them were while I was actively gambling. Every single time I was sitting quietly and reading at a slot machine near Mom.)
I’m currently reading Stephen King’s Duma Key. I wish I had the non-ten-pound version.
So, I don’t know the story behind you and Cthulhu, Windy. I know I’m married to Cthulhu, so are we sister wives (oops, there’re my Utah roots showing)?
As someone who commutes on the subway for an hour each way, I am sorely tempted by an e-reader for the weight consideration alone. I read nearly every time I’m on the train, and while I frequently don’t have to stand for long before I can sit, I would read even more if I didn’t need both hands to read some of the massive tomes I seem to end up with. An e-reader in one hand is really attractive if you are a straphanger for very long. The other consideration is simply carrying the dead-tree weight on a regular basis – my back and shoulders and neck have enough issues already, so I’d love a lighter bag.
That said, I will give up printed books when you pry them … etc.
[Waterproofing corey] As far as the bath time with your fancy readin’ electronics goes, just put the device in a gallon ziploc bag inside another ziploc bag. Viloa! And they’ll float too.[/splish splash]
Stephanae, dear, we are no doubt sisters of the mind, but you are married to Cthulhu, whereas I am married to Chthulhu. That extra H was added decades ago when he wanted to use it as his handle on a BBS, but the format insisted on 8 characters. 8) He does post here now and again. Maybe I can summon him.
I doubt I’ll ever fully embrace e-readers; I much prefer the look, feel, and smell of bound paper books to that of plastic.
(Why are my ears warm?)
I’m a little disappointed that we aren’t sister wives, Windy, but I’m also embarrassed that I failed to notice the extra H. My Cthulhu is content with his seven letters since they fit on his personalized license plates. He was, however, always a bit disappointed that he couldn’t get me to read Lovecraft. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’m not technically married to him anymore. We make great roommates, though.
Nice job on the summoning. I failed my sanity check when I saw the yellow sign.
I’m with
ChthulaChulathChtulahWindy’s honey. I need the feel of a book. I need the smell of vanilla and cedar as it ages. I need to turn the pages. When I’m at the library and trying to decide if I want to check out a book or on those rare occasions I’m at a bookstore because I can afford a book, I will open to random pages to see if it strikes me as being readable, well-written, and interesting.Here’s the new teknowlogical way to waterproof your e-reader for bath time, quiet t-shirt time, whatever…
http://golden-shellback.com/
Well, some of us are not pollywogs (if not up to that Golden Fifty).
But, the best I can be is water-resistant.
Lola:
Right on my sista librarian!
I will never give up my ability to ruin my $150 textbooks by dropping them in the tub 😀
I’ve used the Kindle app on my Touch, you can download books from Amazon but there is no way to transfer them out of the device. I’m still looking for a good ebook app that will work with other ebook files; I’m loathe to shell out another chunk of change for a device that will only be a reader when I have a perfectly good iPod that should be able to handle the task.
SJ…there’s a Kindle app for iTouch? How about for my iPhone? Guess I could look myself, but I’m lazy…and the phone’s charging in the car right now.
Yep. It should work for the iPhone but it’s kind of limited though – you can only download through the app and I’ve yet to find a way to transfer a book from the app to my computer or vice versa.
The difficulty of getting a book onto my computer is another reason I tend to like the Nook app better than the Kindle app. I still can’t transfer books between my iPad and my computer, but B&N.com makes it easier to download the books I’ve purchased to both my computer and my iPad than Amazon does.
I haven’t tried Nook, I might have to give it a go when I get home.
Right now, the only way I can get a book on my computer is if I place it there so that it can carefully balance on my monitor.
I’ve got my laptop resting on a pair of paperbacks to increase air circulation and keep it from overheating, does that count?
Why, I believe it does sarajean!
Actually, Mudsy, you can download free PC apps for pretty much all the eReaders, too. So if you want to read a book on your computer (or laptop), you can. Amazon wants you to register a device at your Amazon account, though, before it will let you download any eBooks. So I haven’t figured out how to make the Kindle PC app work if you don’t also have a Kindle or iPod/Pad/Phone. You can download from Barnes & Noble to your heart’s content, though. The app itself is so-so, but works.
I can’t stand reading my computer monitor for long periods of time. I couldn’t imagine reading a novel while under the spell of its backlight glow; hence my intrigue with the possibility of this new venue. It’s been helpful listening to the pros and cons and today’s discussion has certainly provided a springboard toward a more informed decision.
Apologies for not broaching this in the Forums as it got more involved than I anticipated.
I have a Sony eReader. I really like it. It was fairly reasonable at Ultimate Electronics, and I’ve already downloaded about 500 books from Project Gutenburg (sp?). No, I haven’t read them all. Only about 30 of them.
I really like it. The glare is minimal, if at all, and it reads really clearly in sunlight. The battery life usually lasts me about a week. It charges overnight back to full capacity, so I haven’t had any issues with it dying.
The Sony eBook store rivals Barnes & Noble for selection and price and I haven’t run across any books that aren’t available on all 3 major readers. I read some pretty odd books sometimes, so that was my only concern when I was shopping for my reader.
Don’t leave me with lousy lawn
Don’t leave me compacted soil
Come give my roots some more room
Come and give me thicker grass
I need you to do this hard work
But I’m a stingy-ass
Bring back those days when my slums had some lush grass
Chorus:
Air raid my yars
Say you’ll do it for free
Air raid this compacted soil that is crowding the roots and is stifling the grass
Do it for cheap
I won’t pay 60 bucks
Air raid my yars
My yars
Take back my lawn from this sad state
Bring back the lush to my grass
Don’t make me pay what its worth
Come and let me underpay
I can’t forget the 1910’s
Time is so unkind
And “they” are so cruel they want 38 damn bucks
Chorus
Don’t leave me with lousy lawn
Don’t leave me compacted soil
Bring back the days when mh slums had thick lush lawn
Air raid my yars oh babby
Come here and work for low pay
Air raid my yars
Sweet sparky
Without you I must do the work
Do the work
[Lawn aeration corey]
Actually, sparky sounds to have a good deal for the quoted price.
The powered aerators are nearly as wretched to use as the manual ones. If the local rental place actually carries them, they rent for about $65-75 the day, and you are lucky to do three 1/4 acre yards in a whole day, too. So, the $60 each is a great price.
For what is a still a miserable job, with a great deal of debate on whether it does any good, too. (And ample evidence of harm, should it not rain before those rock-hard dirt clods go through the mower.)
[/makes me feel even more worn out corey]
“Whisky Tango Foxtrot, Whisky Tango Foxtrot, come in Whisky Tango Foxtrot”
“Go ahead Whisky Tango Foxtrot, this is Lima Oscar Lima I hear you 5×5”
“Lima Oscar Lima, we just received orders, you are to proceed to coordinates Oscar Mike Foxtrot Golf go on orbit and wait for target to be painted”
“Roger Lima Oscar Lima, Whisky Tango Foxtrot proceeding to target”
“Lima Oscar Lima, Whisky Tango Foxtrot on orbit”
“Target painted, Whisky Tango Foxtrot”
“Roger Lima Oscar Lima, Bombs away”
“Lima Oscar Lima to Whisky Tango Foxtrot report!”
“OMFGWTFLOL, target air raided”
“Roger OMFGLOLWTF”
Young man, we warned you about playing around with that sat phone!
And! Such traffic! We send you to school, and what do you do? Sleep!
Lima Mike Foxtrot Alpha Oscar.
Air Raid yards
*anagram fun*
Airs Rad Diary (Reads a surfer dudes private writings)
Arid Disarray (Used deodorant mess)
Raid Sari Yard (Attacks a Geisha’s grass)
Iris Day Radar (Butt ugly bouquet detector)
Hammy, you’re missing an apostrophe.
Well, at least I still have my “S”
Wow, you have a large “S”
The better to “SSSSSSSS” you with…
Monty Python is on my mind:
Every air raid is sacred
Every air raid is great
If a air raid is wasted
Yars gets quite irate
Let the heathens blast them
From the dusty ground
Yars will make them pay for
Every plane shot down
Sit in my yars
And tell me that you love me.
Air raid my yars
And I’ll tell you I love you, too!
Yar place or Mayan?
That is an awesome story, drmk! I wish we’d though to doing something that cool.
Also, the decline of literacy is so depressing, I’m going to have to pretend I didn’t read this. La la la, I can’t see it!
Dragging my sick but pity back to bed as soon as I give Manda a sanitized Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Raleigh!