YSaC, Vol. 820: At Long Last Crack.
2010 October 15
”WANTED”OLD, BROKEN, CRACK, DRUMS, CYBILL’S, STANDS, PARTS,SETS – $100
YES,WE PAY UP TO $100 CASH FOR YOUR USED OLD,BROKEN,CRACK, DRUMS, CYBILL’S, STANDS, PARTS,SETS
IF YOU HAVE SOME MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS BROKING OR WORKING
CALL TOM xxx-xxx-xxxx
Poor, poor Cybill Shepard. It’s true she hasn’t had a hit in a while, but I wouldn’t call her used, old, and broken. To be farming her out for parts already, and for only $100? Such a shame.
Thanks, Leslie!
Unfortunately, the only instruments I have left are snapping, severing, splitting and sometimes breaching. The broking ones left a long time ago to try their hand at the stock exchange, the insurance business and real estate.
I’m actually kind of a fan of “broking”. It perfectly describes the state of most of the computer equipment in my house – not quite broken, not quite fully working.
(Speaking of, I’ve had no problems with the mobile site on my iPhone on Safari, or the regular site on the Mac on Firefox for the past few days while you’ve been futzing with things.)
So, what you’re saying is that they’re in the process of becoming broken. Makes sense to me. This indicates that I’ve been reading Sparky ads for way too long now.
LaKitta, that sounds exactly like my house! My husband is a computer geek, so he collects old computer bits and puts them together… Sortof broken, sortof working :-p
Now, EB, we afficinados know that we will have a dire need for something only right after we get rid of it.
You find that person who needs those 56MB RAM chips for their suddenly-mission-critical back-up 486 machine, they’ll offer more than breakfast tacos for them.
Now, keeping the broken RAM chips, that’s bit closer to broking.
Oh yes, I’m very well aware of that phenomenon.. I do it myself, with crafting stuff… But so do these people. :-p
I don’t remember the RAM chips that didn’t come in powers of two MB. Are you sure the 56MB ones aren’t broking 64MB ones?
Or even mistyped 556 . . . “broked” probably more likely <G>
Mistyped 256, I’d buy. I’m old, though, and these things blur in my memory, but I think you’d want those for your mission-critical Pentium. Or could a 486 keep up with a couple of those?
Oh wow, EB! He actually puts parts together? Mine likes to collect and stack them on whatever is the least convenient surface of any given room. (Favourites include the lid of the scanner and on the spines of cookbooks on the bookshelf – the books I use almost weekly!)
Unfortunately, the broking equipment* I was referring to in my comment is still inside my laptop, slowly turning it into a glorified paperweight. The desktop is a little better off but still a source of frustration.
I’m also with you on the pink hands. When I work with black my fingers always look bruised for the rest of the day, like I was in a particularly brutal thumb wrestling match. I’ve found a little bit of laundry detergent or oxy clean takes it right off. Though tonight I couldn’t be bothered and my hands are a lovely shade of Tiffany blue from a mishap colouring royal icing.
*is this correct or am I missing a “t” in there? On my phone I can’t toggle to another window to look it up and spellcheck thinks “equiptmint” is correct so I don’t trust it.
(Wow, this is longer than NMN thought it was going to be.)
Yes (insert token action of averting jinx) been stable for me too, if only on IE.
Actually, Stephanae, I can lay claim to the possession of two, count ’em 2!!, 256 kb ram chips. Yeah, it’s really tough to throw old computer stuff out if your a compu geek. *sigh* Can I interest anyone in an old style mouse, 2 buttons with the actual ball that’s gets all crusty with gunk? Only 3 left. No? How about serial cables, or parallel for that matter (just don’t ask me about scuzzy ones).
On a side note this marks my first post since the posts were still done in roman numerals, although I’ve read continuously since then.
Whoa! *double-take* Did you say KB??//?? I bow down to your geek hoardery.
I didn’t miss you since I didn’t really post before today, but I feel this sort of (probably unjustified) pride that you came out of lurkdom to comment on my post! 😀
Yes, I did indeed say kb. If memory serves me it was for an old 386 before I started building my own. Just don’t ask me why I *still* have them…Or why I hit reply in the wrong box originally…
That’s a lot of lurking! I’m glad you joined us, madbrnnr! You’re reply confusion is understandable, back then there was no nesting comments.
My first computer was entirely scsi and I had a massive 500mb hard drive. I don’t remember the RAM, but it was probably close to 32kb. It weighed a ton!
Only on YSaC can long-time lurkers make such fast friends. Hail!
Drinks all around!
**Handing flask to madbrnnr
Yeah, it is a lot of lurking. But, when your daytime job leaves virtually no time and the night owl times lot just leaves so little interaction vis a vis snarking, well, you just kind of settle for lurking, reading and guffawing in private. I even gave up my column because I could no longer moderate it due to the rigors of actual gainful employment.
Still, I’ve read enough to consider that I know most of the posters here through the rigors of years long lurking. All hail YSAC.
Can I just stand in one place to drink? If I try walking all around and drinking I’m going to slosh coffee on everyone.
Whatever works for you, Christina.
This ad gives a whole new meaning to “Drum Line”.
*Wipes some snare off his nose*
*giving Taco an evil snare*
Hehe… you missed some.
Watch the bass drum, it has a nasty kick to it.
“Bass Drum?!” – I really>/i> don’t want hear about you beating your bass, christina – or flogging your fish….
Hmmmm, I seem to have broken my html….
Is that connected to your ACL?
I like how breaking the italics tags put your Adores in italics, though. I’m going to start putting an open italics flag at the end of every comment.
Ah, Stephanae…. How I have adored your italics from afar, just longing for the time when I could let the world know. And now that time has come:
“Hey! World! Stephanae has some really nice italics!!
*Wanders away muttering, “Hope that wasn’t too forward, don’t want her to think I’m stalking her or anything.” Winks at Mr.Winky…*
We find your adoration acceptable, Grampdaddy. Mr. Winky, put that purse away and admire our italics! No, stop looking so longingly after Grampdaddy. Sombody will get the wrong idea.
How about slapping the salmon? Punching the pollack? Hitting the halibut?
Sweet Spice Christ! I may have just invented the worst euphemisms ever.
Worse than “choking the chicken”, Christina? I think maybe not.
Eh, choking the chicken, like the elebenty brazillion other euphemisms for male masturbation, is kind of funny. Women don’t get any funny ones. The same applies to genital nicknames; men get the cute ones and we get stuck with derogatory terms. Crap, even the real names aren’t on a level playing field. Penis, as we all know, can be said without a care but I know folks, both men and women, who flinch when they hear the word vagina. Granted, it does sound more like a condition than a body part, but damn, I don’t need to feel guilty for having one.
Okay, that probably deserved a matt tag.
Coochie, hoohoo, muffin, toolbox, bearded clam, kitty, beaver, fur burger, cherry, cookie, tulip, vajayjay…
Elevating the eel, outing the octopi, squishing the squid, tampering with the tuna.
Fondling the flounder……
I’m now entering flogging my fish, squishing my squid, and fondling my flounder into my permanent lexicon.
OMG – these two posts look SO FUNNY in the “talk amongst yourselves” right now!
Hmm. I’m probably just slow. Fish, salmon, halibut, eel, octopus, squid, tuna, flounder. It’s all about that whole “smells like fish” thing, isn’t it?
Okay, fair enough Hammy (with the exception of cherry, which I had always associated with virginity of either gender, and fur burger, which just sounds wrong), but we still have more derogatory names for female genitalia than male.
Male (rhymes with): tick, rock
Female (rhymes with) wussy, blunt, cot, cash (two words), brit (not the short version of clitoris, the other word)
Eh, I’m just going to stick with golden lotus.
In protest against the fish, I submit loving my lotus.
Fish, salmon, halibut, eel, octopus, etc, etc….
Honest Mom, christina started it talking about my big bass! And, eating your fish is a healthy meal choice – my doctor recommends it to lower my cholesterol.
If I park my Lotus in the garage does that make me a Lesbian?
In protest against the fish, I submit loving my lotus.
Rocking the rose, caressing the carnation, dallying with the dahlia, launching the lily, mulching the magnolia, buffing the buttercup, plucking the petunia, coveting the clover….
That was wonderful, Grampdaddy. Here, have a slug out of this flask. Dallying with the dahlia, indeed!
Plucking the petunia sounds more like a grooming technique.
Gives Flower Drum Song a new perspective, eh?
All this witty badinage, and not one mention of “Mulva?”
Have we that few Seinfeld fans (or is it past their snarking hours)?
Her name was Delores (sp?). I really related to that episode because I have, on one occasion*, simply forgotten my date’s name and it is quite an awkward question after saliva has been shared.
*okay, maybe more than one occasion, but definitely less than 10
I tried to use snare on my legs once, but it didn’t work very well so I had to shave anyways….
I hate shaving anyways. He never stays still and he has more hair than Bigfoot.
I haven’t had my anyways shaved in ages. Not since the unfortunate incident with the weed-whacker, the chicken coop, and the rubber glove. I still shiver to think about it.
Grampdaddy, even way back in olden times, you could whack your chicken with a rubber glove? I would have thought you had to use some kinda tool made of flint, and a mastodon.
The mastodon objected unless you bought her dinner first – fast-food from “Weiner Queen” was normally sufficient.
As for flint tools, you didn’t want to get two hard tools together, in case of sparks.
I think they called it choking the Pterodactyl back in Gramps day…
Everything was bigger back then….
I did hear it shrivels with age.
Including the exaggerations…
Hi there, Tom! How much will you give me for these extra quotation marks you have? $100? Beautiful!
I believe those are capitalized quotation marks. That means $200! Woo hoo!
But do you believe in life after love?
I believe in magick
in a young girl’s plaque
how the muzak can freezer
win ever it cracks.
If you believe in magick in a young girl’s plaque, maybe you should be a dentist or a dental hygienist. I won’t tell the board if you won’t…
Yeah, those are “great”. I really “want” them.
You could probably snare them cheap.
Maybe then he could buy some spaces. (That is what that long key at the bottom of the keyboard is for.)
You know, I didn’t even notice the Shatner-talk. I think I’m just used to it by now. That’s a bad sign, I think.
This,no,space,phenomenon,appears,rampant,on,the,rest,of,CL,as,well.
(Dang, that’s annoying to type.)
At least, it is from my pained observations.
This guy’s trying to buy crack* for only $100? Good luck with that. Not that I do drugs, it’s just…a Craigslist ad? Really?
*Yeah, I know he probably meant “cracked.”
Yeah – normally Sparkies just try to sell weed on Craigslist.
Is old CRACK as good as new CRACK?
I didn’t think street narcotics came with expiration dates.
You can’t tell the difference in the dark.
What?
But once you flick your Bic, you’re done…
What?
*wiping my screen off*
I thought that said “flush your Bio”….. I’ve got to quit being lazy and reading the comments from the sidebar.
Note to self: eat more carrots!
Not old – vintage……..
Now available at a street corner near you; It’s Crack Classic! It’s got that old-time drain cleaner aftertaste that drives addicts crazy! Ask for it by name – Crack Classic!*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*Crack Classic is not affilated with New Crack. Please store Crack Classic in a clean dry place away from direct sunlight. If you are using preformance-inhancing software and have a download that lasts longer than six hours, please consult an IT professional. Do not operate heavy machinery. Ever.
Next on Inhancing with the stars, Phillis Diller!
Old crack.
Yep, we had ’em back in the day.
Aught 2, I think it was…
‘Course back then we called ’em mine hors
Hey! No more “Old Crack” comments behind my back – I’ll wump ya with my cane….
Grampdaddy, isn’t your old crack behind your back to begin with? 😀
I thought crack was the cheap stuff. I remember a friend once complaining about the price of cereal, saying that he could get crack on the corner for less than a box of fruity pebbles.
Well, the way Fred acts on the commercials, Fruity Pebbles are really gemstones, or the cure for cancer, or the secret to eternal youth.
Although, now that I think about it, Fred acts as if Fruity Pebbles ARE crack. He can’t get enough and doesn’t want anyone else to have his.
I really don’t see a difference between sugar cereals and crack.
You very rarely get a prize in a package of crack. Or so I hear.
And children on sugar cereals are completely at the opposite end of the energy spectrum from a junkie on crack…
They are more like tweakers strung out on meth. But cuter.
Other ways it’s different:
[Bronx resident corey]
Cereal eaters tend not to leave the empty packaging around after they’ve extracted the product of interest, and viewing empty cereal packets on the ground does not engender the same “there goes the neighborhood” feeling that the crack envelopes do when viewed in the same place.
Interestingly, I’ve seen fewer transactions here than when I lived upstate, though while there I didn’t see people drop their dope on public transit – that was new.
[/Bx corey]
Umm… crack = stimulant. Children + sugar cereal = behavior as if on a stimulant.
I fail to see opposite ends of the energy spectrum here.
I figured he was either being facetious or referring to a couple hours AFTER the sugary cereal.
Dunno, to crack addicts crash out after the high wears off? I thought they just get shakey and rob 7-Elevens.
I was in close proximity to someone smoking it once, and he acted more sketchy before and more relaxed after. It is cocaine, after all, so I’da been right there with you, but that’s how it looked.
Christina, I believe you’re right, crack is cheap. I know when the nice lady was complaining on the bus that the gentleman in the park did not bring her back her requested “rock,” the amount of money she claimed to have given him was $10(US). This was a year or two ago, but I don’t think the prices have been raised that much.
Huh, I thought I commented on that. I accidentally closed my browser earlier, but I thought I’d submitted the comment before doing that. Anyway, yes, crack is cheap. That’s a big part of the reason many believe the stricter punishment schemes for crack, as compared to those for cocaine, are motivated by racism.
Well, the people on the LE research side assert that most of the ingredients are inexpensive to “cook” th “cookie” that “rocks” are broken off of. Since dealers always “step on” the active ingredients, the, ah. “retail” product can be quite inexpensive in a “per use” purchase.
Biologically, the effect is near the same duration for 100% strength product as for 25% strength. Which is part of the tradgedy of it, really. After the “bell” is rung, the effect slopes off quickly, less than a quarter-hour.
Since the chemical effect is a stimulant, what happens after long use is that energy reserves are spent. Hard to “rev up” a metabloism that has no “fuel.” Psychology of addiction also makes it less “worth” the effort to maintain the 4-6000 cal/day the stimulant effect can burn up. Thus, the addicts become listless and under-motile.
Or, that’s how the peer-reviewed documentation reads.
Dnag it, need to toss [corey][/corey] up in there…le sigh
Well…Sybil did have 16 personalities, she could be a one “man” band.
“Hold your water, Hammy!”
*commas are cheap, cheap, cheap*
If Sybil is hired as the one-man 16-piece percussion section, which sigil goes on her cymbals?
Sybill sells sigiled cymbals to shady Cylons under the sickly cyprus.
Or shiny Cylons.
Shiny Cylons sling sharp swords.
Shiny Cylons sling sharp swords severing several second Sergeants skulls.
Shiny Cylons slap their screwdrivers, spewing slippery stainless steel S-hooks.
Shiny Cylons shyly sit sipping schlitz on shielded ships.
Now someone tell the story of the feather plucker.
Some silly Cylons slip some cinnamon scented salamanders secretly sideways up Shakira’s skirt.
I meant *pheasant plucker*.
I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant plucker’s son
I’m only plucking pheasants ’till the pheasant plucker comes.
Me husband is a keeper, he’s a very busy man
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes in an evening I feel a trifle dim
All alone, I’m plucking pheasants, when I’d rather pluck with him.
I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant plucker’s mate
I’m only plucking pheasants ‘cos the pheasant plucker’s late !
I’m not good at plucking pheasants, at pheasant plucking I get stuck
Though some pheasants find it pleasant I’d rather pluck a duck.
Oh plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But pheasant plucking’s torture because they haven’t any grease.
I’m not a pheasant plucker, he has gone out on the tiles
He only plucked one pheasant and I’m sitting here with piles !
You have to pluck them fresh, if it’s fresh they’re not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable who could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable had pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar on a Sunday ‘tween the first and second lessons.
I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant plucker’s mum
I’m only plucking pheasants ’till the pheasant plucker’s come.
My good friend Godfrey is most adept, he’s really got the knack
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I like to give a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It’s really all our pheasant plucking keeps us pair together.
I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant plucker’s friend
I’m only plucking pheasants as a means unto an end !
My husband’s in the forest always banging with his gun
If he could hear me half the time I’m sure that he would run,
For there’s fluff in all my crannies, there’s feathers up my nose
And I’m itching in the kitchen from my head down to my toes.
I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant plucker’s wife
And when we pluck together it’s a pheasant plucking life !
Dang, there’s a lot more pheasant plucking than I thought!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpnruvPtkBA&feature=related
Mr just read the whole thing… I was shaking by the end, and I have tears in my eyes! :-p
I thought he was maybe looking for actress who used to be pretty popular but hasn’t worked much lately. You can sometimes get those types at a cut rate…
I thought you wrote “cute rat”…..
*must read s-l-o-w-e-r*
*whispers*
Actually, I think I’d rather have the cute rat…
SilvaNoir is the cute rat.
Complete with cute unblubler.
That’s (apparently) a cute vampire rat, Camille. Oh, and that isn’t a bear, it’s a pekinese, right?
Mudsy, perhaps it’s time to schedule a visit to your local optometrist.
Not a Peke, a Tibetan Spaniel. Though the dog books say they’re distantly related. And I’m only a small bear in Astro’s drawing.
I didn’t mean to sound specific, I’d take any cute rat over an aging, (mostly) out of work actress…
Yup, Vinnie the vampire rat. This is the full picture:
http://silvanoir.deviantart.com/art/Vinnie-by-Okemono-and-me-143000506
sorry I got here super late, I had a million errands to run.
Silva, I never noticed that your cute rat was a vampire. I think I was distracted because he’s rockin’ that fine unblubler.
I read cute rat too. I thought BD was talking about your avatar, Mudsy.
My avatar is my daughter’s hamster, Chibi—stuffing her face. Not.A.Rat 🙂
J-Dog: I get lazy and read the latest posts from the sidebar —–> over there. It’s a lot smaller than it would be if I would just scroll down. Not that that’s an excuse or anything. But that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I don’t need to go to someone who’s all up in my face about being optimistic and blah blah blah crap. 😉
Problem of reading from the sidebar is that it only shows the most recent five; which is confusing if eleven or more new posts are in the stack–the meme-drift can be swift and bendy.
Cappy, I didn’t say it was foolproof. Besides, I like being surprised. Hehe…
Tom. I have a broking set of tom-toms. I’ll let you have them for $100-$100.
Windy will you trade them for 35 rarely used obos?
Depends on what they were used for, and knowing you, Artsy, I better say no. 8)
Windy — I’m crushed. I’m going back to peeling wallpaper off the wall.
Wow, I’ve never heard it referred to that way before. I’m gonna use that!
“Are you peeling wallpaper in there young man?! Knock it off! Your body is not a three bedroom home that needs updating!”
“No dad!!! I’m just in here by myself speeling wallpaper. W – A – L….”
Taco told me no more proof reading was allowed. Just post it as typed.
Indead@! Infactr Iam not going to yous the backspaice keay anymore either. Yay@!
Hell, let’s just all go crazy and use our toes to type!
Then we’ll all sound a lot like the comment section in YouTube.
“Dudz these vids where awsom!11!!!1! lulz!”
Like that?
Yes, just like those Dudz….
As to the No Editing problem lately, I usually proof-read as I type, so I usually don’t make mistakes. I’m not saying I never do, it happens, but it doesn’t happen often*. Does it?
*I also like to misspell words on porpoise. Although I’m not sure if I spelled “misspell” correctly or not.
No offense, Artsy! Really. I have just heard rumors, and I’m afraid of what I might find inside those obos. *hands over the Wallpaper Heater that runs on batteries*
Another new euphemism!!! I’m learnin’ all sorts of new stuff today!!
Artsy, you’ll get the wallpaper scraped a lot faster with a steamer and a scraper than with the obos.
Dunno, heard some double-read types whose, uh, ‘performance skills’ should have pared the wallpaper off the walls . . .
[wallpaper corey] My preference is the enzyme that dizzolves the glue, even if you have to use that rolling comb to perforate the entire wall. But, that could be from my experience of people wallpapering bare (as in not primed or sized) drywall. Steamer takes the paper off the drywall, too, so you wind up having to skim-coat the entire wall to either paint or paper afterwards.
[/corey]
I hope the Cap’n’s talking about actual wallpaper, ’cause otherwise that sounds really painful and kinky.
I’m with the Capn on this one – hate it when people wall paper bare. Too many lumps and squiggles in the paper, and the glue smells bad when you get it hot.
What kinda foreplay gets glue hot???
The tacky kind of course…
Not sure, Mr. Bomb. Hammy may be right. All I know was that that the directions said to smear it on, be sure the entire surface was covered and then slip it gently into place to avoid tearing and stretching.
I think it is easier with a vinyl coated surface.
That was supposed to be a ***shudder***
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Tank.
Probably would have been best if it hadn’t been said at all…..
“If you have a musical instrument that is broking [sic] or working…”
I’m pretty sure that if I wanted to sell a working musical instrument I could get more than $100 for it. Like a guitar or something.
Not all musical instrument NMN – Talk to Artsy about the value of used obos……..
[guitar/instrument corey] Actually, unless it’s one of the top brands (Gibson, B.C. Rich, etc) or a rare year/limited edition model of one of the middle-top shelf brands (Fender, Kramer), you could easily get a used guitar in great condition for less than $100 [/guitar corey]
[rebuttal corey] Eh…let’s go with functional/ great for a beginner/ mass manufactured/ you wouldn’t want to try professionally recording with it. A good guitar in poor condition is still going to run you more than $100. [/corey]
I agree, I was pretty much talking about a decent Fender Strat or say, a Kramer Striker. Great for playing at home, and sounds great with a good amp. Anyone making money/recording shouldn’t be looking for a sub $100 axe…
[more music musing]
Well, now, by his own admission, Robert Earl Keen keeps a few dozen guitars in his “music-writing-shack” and he will pull out different ones to work out the melodies in his head.
He’s said that sometimes he goes back to some of his original, cheaper, guitars, for their familiar sound.
Once in the studio, it’s the ‘production’ equipment, on the road, it’s the rack of four for shows. (Will see how many get used tonight.)
[/musing]
For the curious, REK stuck to the touring Gibson. Brotherton used his f-hole and a 12-string.
Was an intense show. Every song being “I can identify that in three notes” (unlike many of the drunks, many of whom are younger than the lyrics they barely know).
Especially if it was an old instrument. I would guess Sparky is hoping to find someone who is even more clueless about the worth of musical instruments than he is.
“Gee, I found this dusty old violin in the attic. I bet it’s worthless.” *reads label on case* “Stradi-various? Sounds like a foreign piece of junk to me. Hey, I bet that guy on CraigsList would give me a hundred bucks for this! What a sucker.”
LoL! SJ, after reading the ad copy, I still can’t but help imagine a pawn shop for pawn shops–just for musical instruments.
I mean, if you are Ray’s House of Music, what do you do after the Blues Bros have used your used instruments?
Four whole chickens, fried. And dry, white toast….
Broking=The act of paying bills.
Are you talking about your mental state or your wallet?
*please be specific when filling out our questionnaires*
*Checks the box next to “YES”*
Calling Cybill Shepard old, even if accurate, seems a bit mean, Sparky.
D’OH! I only read the ad and raced to comment without reading the rest of the post. Oh well. Poor Maddie.
And she might be tippin’ the bottle a little these days (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but crack?? C’mon! I thought she was doin’ ok…
Yeah, being forced to pose for cheesecake shots prominently featuring rear cleavage is pretty demeaning.
What?
Mmmm… cheesecake…. (I really don’t know what that means, but I’m hungry, so I choose to believe you’re just talking about pictures of cheesecake with the slices slightly separated, so it looks like it’s cracked.)
Ummmm…. guess again EB.
Hehe….
I don’t know what it means, and I don’t WANT to know, either.
It’s a synonym for pin-up, EB. Cf. “beefcake” for male subjects.
Ahhh, got it :-p
I still like the sugary-fatty-edible kind of cheesecake better :-p
Those particular adjectives could apply to the other type of cheesecake as well.
I’m just sayin’.
Anagram Fun!
Broken Crack Drums
Crank Borders Muck (Sellin’ drugs in the swamp)
Murk Backs Red Corn (Corn has a new, murky ally)
Mend Rack, Rubs Rock (Wishes for bigger shoulder knees at the Blarney stone)
Reckon Dark Crumbs (Redneck burns his toast)
Crabs Knock Murder (Crustaceans speak out against crime)
Hey, mend rack could also mean wishing for *smaller* shoulder knees. Not that it would do much good to rub the Blarney stone for either wish.
Particularly if you go for the Shakespearean-era definition of stone.
Shakespeare’s plays are full of penis jokes and low brow humor. I love the porter in Macbeth’s rant on how alcohol gives men the desire but takes away the ability.
Wow! 100 bucks for an old sibyl! I can think of a few ancient Greeks who’d willing part with theirs.
“Wanted”crackhead,drummer,willing,to,pay,me,$100,to,get,snared,by,my,Sybil.
xxx-xxx-xxxx
Odysseus
My first doors!!11!! Thanks, guys.
Hi Mom!
kelli, that’s my line!
It’s the only time I get to say hi mom.
I have a confession to make. My crack is broking.
Is it supposed to do that?
If it has been broken for more than four hours, you should see a doctor.
Or consider changing film genres.
Alas, they didn’t want me on teletubbies.
I knew there was a reason I didn’t like Mr. Winky….
(Isn’t Winky the name of one of the teletubbies? Mini isn’t at the age yet where I know these things… So far he only enjoys Baby Signs and a random Sqwedish penguin :-p)
And by “Sqwedish” I meant “Swedish”…. Though, Pingu is pretty cute.
[Teletubbies_corey] You’re thinking of Tinkiwink, EB. The Teletubbies were Tinkiwink, Lala, Po, and . . . oops, Corey fail, I can never remember the green one’s name. [/corey]
Double fail. It’s Tinky Winky. And the green one was Dipsy. Note to self: Google first, Corey after. (Is Corey a verb?)
[corey][/corey] is a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an afterthought. Depending on how you use it.
🙂
Thank you, Mudsy! I’m new here and appreciate the clarification.
I was thinking that, since it’s actually Tinky Winky, Mr. Winky might be perfectly correct. Therefore, I possibly totally missed the joke. Would that make my comment a corey success?
Indubitably. Tinky Winky is probably da minty as well.
Welcome to YSaC. Hope you stick around.
Stephanae… Is it “Stepha-nay”? Or are is it plural? I’m curious :-p
EB, although, I’ve been called “Stepha-nay” by many folks in my life, including my high school vice principal, we assure you we’re very plural.
Well, ‘fess up, should we apply Greek or Latin pronunciation?
“staf KNEE” or “STEEF nay” or “steh FAH nai”?
We have inquiring minds, y’know.
In case of need, we have a “Wiki” to explain some of what is going on here. It has a dictionary of terms that is some helpful.
Although I’d love to be one Stephos, two Stephoi, I’m afraid it’s just a bastardized cross between Latin and Greek. So, you know, pronounced like the English name Stephanie from the Greek, but pluralized like antenna in Latin. Probably, my mother just can’t spell, but it works for me, anyway.
Thank you for the reference to Bridgete’s lovely YSaClopedia, but I assure you that I wouldn’t have dared post here before reading it in its entirety.
Reassemble, Stephanae.
I can’t, Windy. You see, I once answered this ad in CL.
Just pull yourself together – We need you here.
Anyway, welcome Ms. Stephanae. We are glad you are here.
Thank you, Grampdaddy! I can’t tell you how glad I am to be here. Sorry if I’m a little over-enthusiastic about posting today.
Stephanae, we generally have over 200 comments and about 30 people commenting, we LOVE enthusiastic commenters!
I think it’s supposed to do that if you’re a plumber.
Plumber’s cracks are supposed to be broking? I always offer duct tape…
Peeps, you are slacking off today. There have been no songs, poems or amazing short stories yet today. You work on it, I’m going to lunch. Don’t forget to give me credit for all the the great work.
Can you tell I’ve been in management for way toooo long.
I’m no writer. I like drawing. And video games. And Anime. And…uhhh…ignore this last one.
I like cereal.
Indubitably
Actually, Mudsy I was thinking of this .
“I like potatoes.”
I’m glad no one tried to guess what “this last one” was.
You’re a young adult (as far as I know) healthy male. I wouldn’t dare type my guesses.
I’m going to need a trough o’ coffee slices if you want snark that is up to standard. It’s Friday and it has been a loooooong week.
Indeed…. I am jealous of Mr.EB, because he took all his vacation time this weekend, and is probably still in bed. Grr…
MiniEB not keeping him up?
MiniEB is at his sitter’s… Mr has grand plans to accomplish things around the house during his 5 day weekend :-p
And he’ll get started as soon as he wakes up. 3 . . . 2 . . . zzzzzzzzzz
Going to lunch, Artsy? Have some unicorn on-the-cob…..
I think a few drummers out there defy the drug-addled moron stereotype. Tom kind of hurts their cause, though.
ty70pp8inhmg wityh mu7g Even with just one coffee mug, that’s not easy. Looks more like typoing with mugs. 8)
I was going to do a parody of “The Little Drummer Boy” but I find I don’t have time. I offer the idea to anyone who wants it, free or for obos.
The land of misfit ads
By: Sparky in the box
We’re in the land of misfit ads
Here we don’t want to spell
We want commas, where, none, belong
So we can sound really dumb!
A drum full of cracks
Means cash in your jar
and lots of parts
For lots of Congas
We’ll buy them all right here
Broking or working, you hear?
A music stand will get you one hundred bucks
“Wake up! Don’t you know that it’s only worth eight thirty-four?”
We’ll buy them all right here
Broking or working, you hear?
Cybills galore, cash out the door
There’s room for more
And it’s all because of Craigslist
A Trombone for fifty
A Sitar for two
Sometimes I’ll even pay six forty-two
We’ll buy them all right here
Broking or working, you hear?
How would you like to be a table for sale or free?
Or a truck full of bees that sting your shoulder knees?
Or a head that’s covered in cheese?
They’re all misfits!
How would you like to be humming bird code!
Or a pie ball dog?
Or a boat that holds sand?
They’re all misfits.
We’re in the land of misfit ads
We won’t miss all the deals for broken brass bands
We’ll buy them all right here
Broking or working, you hear?
Wow, that was fun, even with Old Crow Medicine Show playing “Wagonwheel” on the radio in the background.
Fun with punctuation time…
”WANTED”OLD BROKEN. CRACK DRUMS, CYBILL’S STANDS PART. SETS – $100
——————————————————————————–
YES,WE PAY UP TO $100 CASH FOR YOUR USED OLD BROKEN CRACK DRUMS, CYBILL’S STANDS PARTS & SETS
IF YOU HAVE SOME MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS BROKING OR WORKING
CALL TOM xxx-xxx-xxxx
*rummages through piles of
crapawesome historical items in garage*Lemme see….I’ve got an old “Moonlighting” DVD set with a cracked case and Cybill is on the cover, she’s standing so I guess that’s what Sparky is looking for…okay got the “CYBILL’S STANDS PARTS & SETS”
*continues digging through pile*
Hmmm….here’s a…um……heh..heh…nope, don’t wanna give that away…
Sorry Sparky, no crack drum for you. But I did find some vintage cereal at the bottom of the pile. I think sugar is *technically* considered crack-like in many cultures so…….gimme that hunnert bucks, duuuuuuuuuuuude.
Did you find Bruce’s Willy down at the bottom?
*quickly places found item behind back*
Why, no…why do you ask?
He had mentioned at one point that he thought he had mislaid it in Cybill’s box.
*line crossed*
Don’t you mean Cybil’s golden lotus?
But CJ was lookin’ in da box…not the golden lotus.
So you’re saying that CJ was pulling things out of Cybil’s box? I hope CJ was wearing gloves.
“Golden Lotus Storage Boxes – when you need a place to stick your junk, think Golden Lotus!”*
*That’s not a real product, but damn it should be.
Ima ima ima
gunna get punched.
Yay me!
Youra youra yura yura yura chameleon…
…What is wrong with my brain today and the random !logical leaps it’s making…
I think it has to do with green fondant. NEVER get close to the green fondant!
HeeHee
I haven’t played with green fondant in a couple weeks… Parts of my hands are still bright pink from the black fondant I made Tuesday, though :-p
Green fondant is slow acting. Just ask The Hulk.
Black is pink
I want my fondant back*
*Hows that for a random logical leap?
Bright pink from black fondant…….?
Yeah… The black food coloring is -actually- really really dark purple, and after washing on skin it turns pink.
*double rainbow sparklies* The More You Know…
I want to see it painted, painted, painted, painted black,
Purple as coal, pink as night.
And in the battle of the ear worms, Hammy wins!
Mudsy! It’s been a long time. The Golden Lotus has missed you. 8)
It’s grey, it’s blue
Since she flew the coup
Los Lobos is/are going to haunt your dreams tonight Hammy.
Correction: Los Bravos.
I think I got some old broking bongos around here somewhere.
I’ll raise you a crack dumbek.
Yeah, but didn’t you turn those into bongs?
Does “broking or working” mean they are mutually exclusive? I think that would be news to all the stock swindlers doing time at Club Fed. They’re thieving scum, but nobody ever accused them of being slackers. Until Sparky the Crack-in-a-Drum King.
Who is dressing up for Holloween this year? As what? I am dressing as an owl. I think.
Puppy!!!
We are, hopefully… It was going to be for Mr’s work party, but since he’s starting a new job on the 25th, I have to figure out where we’re going to wear our awesome costumes. And they are so awesome, that I’m not going to talk about them until I have pictures up and you can all appreciate the awesomeness in visual form :-p
I’m dressing up as a college student with internet addiction.
I’m seriously considering dressing up as a tiger and asking people if they know what I’m supposed to be. Any bets on the percentage of lion answers?
Depends no whether I’m employed or not.
Choices will be cranky evil broke old fart w/o job, or cranky old fart w/ some sort of base employ.
Neither of the above with candy for urchins.
(And, naturally, no Uni for Candi…)
::ding::
Fourth floor.
Racks,packs,tenorsax,flax,sacks,crystalcrack,tacks,jacks,trucksabeeswax,drums,gum,clothespinjeebus,sheep,meese,
mintydress,sets,stands,pianosgrand,cybills,tribbles,Shepherd’s pie,misjays,bowels,gravy and electric,doors,tables,tessellated and untessellated,left-handed pennywhistles,broking and nonbroking,obos,bones,trom and otherwise,blublers and unblublers.
Waaaatch yerrrr step.
*wishing I had more*
Throws elebenty-hunnert doors at the ridiculousnessosity….
There must be a CL checklist somewhere. I’m sure of it.
“Okay, let’s see if we’ve got everything before we post the ad…
Aberrant apostrophe?
Check.
Unnecessary quotation marks?
Check.
No spaces between words?
Check.
Misspellings?
Check.
Lexical inventions?
Check.
Well, that about covers it. I think we’re good to go.”
Shouldn’t a few other items, like cat math and asshattery be on the list? I know they aren’t in every ad, but maybe it’s like a DSM IV list. So, “This can be diagnosed as a CL ad if it has three or more of the following symptoms or if it has only one of these symptoms, but it is particularly aggravated.”
We haven’t bben working on the wiki lately. I’ll get on it again, as soon as I bother to log into wikispaces again, and as soon as someone does an entry on me.
“bben” should be “been.” I miss the edit function.
Hey, NMN wants someone to “do an entry” on him. Hmm. Try CL Personals, NMN. I’m sure someone there would be happy to … er… help you.
*NMN wiki entry*
NMN is not a stupid Hammy
Hammy, would you please drop it? Please?
*Snerk*
Gee, and “Once you do ‘Explosive Entry’ you can never go back…”
The things we could teach out young paduwan . . .
Items to add to the checklist:
Photo of completely unrelated object? Check.
Same photo four times? Check
Same photo four times, blurry beyond recognition? Check. . . I think.
You forgot
***********************************
and
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Hammy, that looks like it was lifted straight out of missed connections. In fact, we’ve seen this one before:
You forgot (translation: Billy gave you his number, you never called Billy)
************ (dramatic spacing)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Billy was angry)
{{{{}}}} (Billy only wanted to tuck you in)
Andie was creeped out by Billy. Andie thinks Billy is a few tacos short of a combo plate. And not in a good way.
Hey! The smiley face is back!
Hey, Smedley’s back!
I think someone impersonated you a while back, Smedley. They put up some random spam/troll post about great phone rates or something and then didn’t make any further comments (though we did – such as specutlating as to whether you were in fact a bot who had achieved sentience).
I think that was really Smedley. He talked about the minutes the night before and answered Brainstew’s questions coherently.
Mudsy, here’s something you can believe in! Punchity punch punch!
G’Night, Teletubbieland!
http://pbskids.org/teletubbies/rabbitchase.html
…on names we call vaginas…
…I had a friend once who would call her female bits a “honey pot.”
It’s cute…but I hate to think of Pooh that way. I mean, he’s such a cute bear and all…but that gives new meaning to the obsession he had over finding honey pots. I mean…you’d expect that kind of thing from Tiger…but Pooh?
Wow…it’s making me sick just thinking about about it…
I don’t know, sometimes I call Mr. LRC “Silly Old Bear”, so…..
Ok, squicked myself out. Nevermind.