YSaC, Vol. 814: I was sent by Joe… to buy this car.
2010 October 9
bmw engine 318 i 4cilinders and transmission
I buy. This ingine. For my bmw. The. Mecanic. Tell my. The motor. Is. Lock. But is t. No. True. Is t. Only. The. Clucht. I pay. 500.for the motor and transmission. 138000. Mills. Only. Bmw. 318 ti. 94. 4 cilinders. Whit. Manual. Transsmision. Call ######### i give you. Garanty. O. I buy. You.yunk. bmw 318 it. 93 to 95
At first I thought about making a Christopher Walken joke here. But then I remembered I had already done that.
So let’s try this.. read it to the tune of Hernando’s Hideaway, from The Pajama Game. (Trust me, even if you’ve never heard the title, you know this tune.)
Incidentally, this also works for “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.”
Thanks for the link, Dub!
Uh oh! Sparky said whit. Prepare for a Matt sighting!
Sparky said. A. Lot of. Things. One. To three. Words at a. Time.
Oh Manda, you.yunk!
[Matt]You guys are really mean teasing her, can’t you see that Sparkette is on her period?[/Matt]
I’d like to add that you are an evil genius, Dan. At your request, I did indeed read this to the tune of Hernando’s Hideaway and now I have a fine coffee mist on my screen.
We need some techno genius to record themselves singing this. It would become an instant YSaC classic, like Database Fail Live. 8)
If Sparky drives like he types, it’s no wonder the clutch is shot.
This would be why I don’t want a manual transmission as my ONLY car in Boston…because sometimes. you have to. drive. like this. Now…if I could afford to have a SECOND car…
Sorry Sparkster, I just had my yunk removed. I don’t need any replacements especially once the mechanic has said the engine is LOCKED.
Oh, sorry LL, I’ve heard that’s painful.
Nah, the most painful is the gas that’s stuck right in the exhaust pipe. Neither moving or being useful…
Sparky didn’t answer the most important question of all, though.
Is it minty?
Probably, but I’m tired of mint. Isn’t it time they bust out the limited edition seasonal flavors? I could go for a nice Pumpkin Spice Christ shell right about now.
Mmmm…
Mmmm… Festively blasphemous.
My inner Baptist is appalled. My outer Christian Reformed is amused by how Christ can reclaim even the corrupted-by-druids pumpkin.
Kae, please don’t take offense to this, but when you say inner Baptist and I’m looking at the Fiji Mermaid, all I can think to say is: Stop eating Baptists!
“Corrupted-by-druids.”
Meh, druids are squishy and easy to kill.
But Baptits are so chewy, and they’ve got the cream-filled center!
Oh, wait, no, that’s those caramel bullseye things…
I know it’s tomorrow and all, but in Fiji Mermaid’s defense…Baptists are often deep-fried and not as apt to get stuck in mermaid teeth as Episcopalians. But Lutherans are the tastiest…
[Matt] Don’t you people realize that Sparky was using the “you talk/it types” feature on his computer to write this ad and he was drowning in his bathtub and could only gasp out a couple of words whenever he bobbed to the surface? You guys are COLD if you can read a man drowning and only laugh at him! [/Matt]
Pumpkin muffins are delicious. Now I want one.
And now I do too.
**settles for string cheese instead.**
Um, Astro, you have a rather unfortunate* typo in your opening sentence two posts up.
*this is subject to opinion.
Oh. I see.
These are not the {droids|’droids|daleks} you are looking for.
Well Astro, that’s one way to get rid of the line and alienate 99% of the church-going folks in your state.
I settle for farm-fresh apple, sliced, with cinnamon.
Roll for yoour damage points now, you hungry and fruitless <G>
Bwahahahahahahaha
I don’t get the title, today. Can someone help me out?
Guys get over here now! LRC needs us to help her out of the poncho! I think the lice finally breached her minty robot shell!
I do feel a little woozy.
Lucky little woozy!
And there goes my second cup of coffee! 🙂
christina, do you have a drinking problem?
Yes, I havea localized drinking problem. it appears to be located here at YSaC.
I have a drinking problem. I keep missing my mouth.
Do you like movies about gladiators too?
Ever been to a Turkish bath house?
Looks like it’s less of a drinking problem and more of a swallowing problem.
Airplane! FTW
By request from Windrose (who is currently making French toast):
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/thepajamagame/hernandoshideaway.htm
Windy — I’m making Lemon Meringue pie. How about a trade a piece of pie for a piece of French toast?
Artsy, I tried, but the toast won’t fit in the slot on my PC. 8/
stupid computers anyway
500 bucks. For. Shatner’s. BMW engine? I’ll. Take it!
Kaaaaaahhhhhnnnnnnnn!!!!!
I’m starting to think that Shatnerese is a required course at Sparky University.
I think you mean Sparky’s Second Chance Vocational Academy, now open in Location, Ish and Yonder!
And there is a new branch soon to open in the suburbs, Over Yonder. (It’s on the North side of town).
It’s a. Hard on. To get. Started.
You Klingon. Bastard. You. Stole my. Line!
Stole. Your line? I. Did. No such. Thing.
Speaking of which, why haven’t we crossed the line at all today? It’s just sitting over there, smirking and sipping lemonade…someone say something line-crossing, already!
Sorry, that’s not lemonade.
**zips up pants**
Hmmm…..should have said…uhhh never mind.
Shhh! The line’s been onto us for a while so we’re lulling it into a false sense of security.
I was. Thinking.
PRECISELY!
The same thing.
It’s the Mills that interest me – if there really are 138000 of them, it could be important to know how many are still operating, and whether they’re windmills, watermills or donkey mills. There are so few still in use these days.
I think they are pepper mills that Sparky has
stolenliberated from restaurants.I didn’t know the McDonalds inside the Walmart was high class enough to have peppermills now.
I dot you
By: Solidus and Caret
They say he’s young and he don’t know
He won’t find grammar until he grows
Well I don’t know if all that’s true
‘Cause he dots .my. and maybe he dots .you.
Beemer
He dot you Beemer
He dot you Beemer
He says a comma won’t punctuate
Better then a dot and a space
I guess that could be so, if we smoke a lot of dope
But at least I have a Garanty on the ingine I bought
Beemer
He dot you Beemer
He dot you Beemer
I got. it one. Or two. Words. At a. Time.
It. Will cost you. 5000. Dimes.
With the greatest respect and most apologies to The Man in Black.
This B. MW should. run just fine.
because. it’s mine.
I. type.just.fine.
I.find it. really really. to be true.
I. make a. gar. ar. anty. just for you.
If you like. I buy. your yunk. from you.
because. it’s mine.
I. type.just.fine.
To.The.Breech.To.The.Breech.
Or.Wall it.Up.whit.Our.English,Dead.
In Peace.Not.becomes.A.Sparky.
As.meek.Mils.and.D-Mean-er.
But.In.War.Against.The.Space(bar)
As.To.Be.Not-A-Lion.and
Ripp’d.Our.English.Tongue.from.
Our.Sensible.Heads.
To Lie.Laid.low.
Dash-ed.
Like.Poor.Harfleur.
Under.Mined.and.More.than.
Half-Reduced.
Sack-ed.Complete
E’en.Agin.Our.Ire
Say it with me:
I, am. the. mutant, love.child. of Christopher, Walken and. William. Shatner. and, Im’. proud,
The Profiteers of Craigslist
I am the mutant love child of creepy personalities
I’ve minty shells and whit nestors and pick up trucks with lots o’ bees
I know the coreys and the matts and quote them both for many memes
From Location to Lower Ish, I’ve seen my share of shoulder knees
I’ve also got some kibbles here for thinking cat-mathematically
I understand that square tables do measure twenty by thirty
I have a red table for sale that you can have as cheap as free
Of lacawates valtrus-suka i gotta ask, WTF are these?
Of lions all I know is that their stripes are always so pretty
And Spice Christ gives good little bots [FEMALE TRAITS 43]
In short, in matters minty shell and pick up trucks with lots of bees
I am the mutant love child of creepy personalities!
On the subject of Cat-Math, even Einstein has to BS his way through explaining it:
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7318265
Being a BMW, I think Sparky translated this from German. Looks to me like, “Ve haf vays uf making you type!”
*Schnell, schnell – Herr Sharfstein ist am line zwei!!*
I thought a BM W was one of those trucks that deliver portable blue water toilets?
Or is that a dump truck, I can never remember?
OoooooooKkkkkkkkk. Just read christina’s comment in the Box. Except, I read ‘drink’ as ‘drmk’. REALLY changes the meaning. Just could not understand why christina would want to dump drmk on her head and kick her in the crotch. This is generally a fairly peaceful group…..
May the Llamanun (bees be upon her) be off her head and crotchless.
Oh… I did too! haha… now I can’t decide if a llama falling on one’s head would be painful or fluffy… (but one kicking you in the groin definitely would be full of ouch)
The national anthem of Sparkanada*
Oh can I dot?
All words in my ad?
True punctuation is not at thy command.
With no exclamation marks, we see no surprise,
The True intent is lost when comma free!
Some BLS just died,
Oh can I dot?, Just a period or three?
Jeebus keep our ads punctuation free!
Oh can I dot?, Just a period or three?
Oh can I dot?, Just a period or three?
*No offence meant to our Canadian snarkers
So sad…
So sad….
Sparky is sobbing as he types.
All his hopes, dreams, visions of joy as he again cruises in his beautiful car have been dashed by this dastardly engine. He was salivating at the thought of a
repair for under $5000. Each dot is a single tear spilling from his eyes.
And.Now.He is.Going. to spend. A ForTune. No.W.onder.
Have.some.com.passion. (Or comppasion)
Made even stranger in context because that was a hypothetical conversation where Cap’n was doing the talking and Lola was doing the slapping.
Yay I’m in the…hey! There’s a puppy in here! Aww look at the liddle puppeh, who wants a scrub? Who wants a belly ru-NOOOOO!!!
Well, at least you can listen to show tunes while I’m in your…in the…ummm.*
*Wags*
Don’t pet the puppy!
And we’ll just pretend I hit the reply button and this is under Grampdaddy’s comment above.
You Suck at Craigslist (LIVE!)
LOL
You Suck at Craigslist (ZOMB!) seems more appropriate…
That was awesome. Here. Have a. Door.
Very nice XP
So this is what the bots look like… *tosses a door your way*
That was. really. cool. Astro! I. give you a. door.
*hurls doors and other things, too many to list, at Astro*
Many, many, many doors, Astro!
I give you a door too. Coincidentally, mine is the door to Hernando’s Hideaway.
Astro, you have way too much free time on your hands – please continue to do so! Really fabulous- catch many plenty doors – even some red ones so you can make a table.
You know, I was doing fine until he got to the line, “O. I. Buy. You.yunk..” at which point I dissovled into a fit of giggles. Even now I can’t stop laughing. That was fabulous, Astro!
But wait, there’s more!
Actually, it’s just Winter Bagels, and, tomorrow, maybe some spambots.
[wonders]
If a motor is installed under the hood, does that make it an “in-gine” ?
I guess only a mecanic would know in such a clucht.
Ooh, look, ofotblla! I must to the far-seeing-aparatus (fernsehenapparat)!
[/wonder]
Maybe it was posted by Will.I.Am.
I keep coming back to this page, but can’t think of anything to say. So, [OT] I hate stinkbugs. [/OT]
That is all.
What about giant dragonflies?
http://silvanoir.deviantart.com/art/Bigger-Than-My-Thumb-181881472
This man or woman clearly has a terminal case of puntuacion mal, a rare but serious malady from the eastern coast of Spain. I recommend a treatment of 1st grade remedial english, and then he/she should be discharged from St. Llamanun’s Hospital with a free dictionary, as well as some anti-idiotics.
Actually think this really nothing more than too-lazy-to-scroll-to-spacebar-on-the-phone-screen.
And, if “Big Pharma” ever gets a working recipe for “anti-idiotics” (beyond simple narcotic bliss as an “instead”)–we will be doomed to being penniless-ness. Of course, the tough part would be a testing group bright enough to show actual results . . . (Oh, snap, anti-idiotics could never pass FDA approval–what was I thinking?)
It could.Be.That.But I just.Couldn’t.Resist using the.Word.Anti-idiotics.
Do you know hard it was for me to type that? I keep automatically hitting the spacebar.
In fact, I recommend 20 milligrams of anti-idiotics to every single person who has their ad on this site.
Except. if you. look. closely. there is. a space. after. each. period. And multiple. words. between. periods. with spaces. in between. Therefore. your hypothesis. is incorrect. Capn.
Ah, but there are a number of “auto-correct” toutines out there that append a space to a period as a line-ending convention.
So, it still could be possible.
Could also be that sparly has dropped a four-cylinder motor on his phone to many times and only a third of the keys work, under garante.
I am personally surprised no one yesterday noticed that I had said this person had a terminal illness, and that I would be willing to discharge them from the hospital….oh well.
Really? When? On who’s authority? Where?
OMG.
I MADE A REFERENCE TO LLAMANUN** LAST NiGHT AND i ForgOT tO giVe somE beEs.
I MeAn, how Can anyone pOSsiblY do thaT?
SrSly?
SRsly.
It’s noT liKe it’s a hard tHing to Do.
yoU poSt a commeNt, and aDd An asTeriskes or foUr, and BeeS bE bestowed upon theM
kay?
ima gonna go
asleepy time
now…
NNGZZZNZ…
…
.
,;.
‘
Yeah, and he just did it AGAIN. I mean, how could anyone do such a thing. It’s easy, you just put an asterick next to Llamanun* and type at the bottom, as a footote, “bbes be upon her.” How could anyone forget to do that?
*See definition: irony.
This is what happens when you don’t give the Llama-Nun* her bees. She smites your mental faculties.
*May many, varied, and minty bees be upon her, forever and always.
I would much prefer the old-school kind of smiting. You know, locusts, plagues, volcanos, teen pop music, etc. It would make the Llamanun* so much more….bee-lievable.**
*Bees be upon her. Keep the bees as far away from me as possible. Here drmk, take them.
**I couldn’t think of a more suitable adjective.
Got to. Make. A hundred. comments.
One hundred.and.one.
Almost. Out of. Thyme. Eas t coas t. Already asleep.
On a Saturday night? Nah, the bars haven’t let out yet. Maybe we’ll get some drunk postings.
What. Else is. There to. Say?
Oh, Right! christina! Hammy! Punchity. Punch. Punch.
G’Night, Sleeptite!
Ouch! That’ll leave a mark. Ah well, better than a kick to the groin by a llama!
Ouch, you hit me right in my B flat!
What the junk?! What I want to know is…how can someone who can’t string together a line of comprehendable english can afford a damned BMW! OH MAN! This really burns me!!
Yes, I had caffeine today.