YSaC, Vol. 812: Less than smashing.
2010 October 7
pumpkin beware – $1
Beware of buying pumpkins from this guy we was inhappy with the pumpkins
Before you ask, no, we have not censored any of the location details on this post other than which Craigslist it was posted on. They just weren’t there. So please be aware that there exists a gentleman in a given metropolitan area who is selling substandard pumpkins.
Of course, given the title, you only have to watch out for this guy if you ARE a pumpkin. So if you’re a pumpkin in the market for pumpkins in this area, watch out for this guy.
Wait, wouldn’t that make you either a) some sort of pumpkin procurer/slave trader or b) a pumpkin cannibal?
I think “Cannibal Pumpkins” may be my favorite band name for at least the last 38 minutes.
Thanks for the link, Stephanie!
Where lurks the seller of substandard pumpkins?
The Phantom Pumpkin Procurer knows.
Or, at least, Alec Baldwin…
Cannibal Pumpkins is the name of IF’s Blind Melon cover band.
And then there’s the sister band to Smashing Pumpkins, Eating Pumpkins!.
Edit: I did not look at the title of the post. Oops.
Really, “Pumpkin Cannibals” scans better as a band name.
Pumpkin Cannibals is the name of IF’s Strawberry Alarm Clock/Fine Young Cannibals crossover project.
LRC, is IF paying you $0.02 for each band name you come up with?
And how old are you that you know about Strawberry Alarm Clock?
She’s … my age-ish, and I know about them, too. I believe the resource is called “Parents’ Record Collections” – your parents, someone else’s, etc.
@christina – No, I’m just using his name in case you ever don’t like them, then it’s his fault.
@Windy and Lola – I’m 36, and this resource is called long car trips as a child with dad in charge of the radio and friends who had older siblings
Back in the nineties me and my friends would listen to Westwood-one’s syndicated oldies show on Saturday nights. “Incense and Peppermint” was a weekly staple on that show. I can’t remember who hosted (wasnt Kasam or Dees, it was the other guy), but I still know the call in number.
But what about the Fine Young Caribou?
Yes, I just made an obscure reference to a Gerald McRaney sitcom. I am so ashamed.
Karmyn: That.Is.Awesome! But, I’m biased about caribou, being a moose.
Oh wow! It’s a shame because I was all ready to pony up with my dollar.
What is the dollar for? There is nothing being sold, here, is there?
The dollar is for the information on the exact location of the Sub-Standard Pumpkin Vendor.
Oh… LRC…. THAT little detail has never stopped Sparky.
I don’t think this ad was really necessary. I mean, I know these folks were unhappy with the pumpkins, but everybody knows that on Halloween night the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch. With the help of his faithful assistant, Linus, they will smite the vile seller of substandard pumpkins.
Pumpkin karma… It’s a bitch.
Pumpkin Karma is the name of IF’s Sheb Wooley cover band.
How does IF do it — he is so busy, naming bands and such, when he’s not even here. Does he channel through Dan and LRC? It is October and all.
I’m a huge IF fangirl, and therefore stalk him regularly. So I know the names of all his bands.
Good — I like “stalking” better than “channeling”.
Yeah, so does IF. *smirk*
I think Peter Peter does a good job of cannibalizing pumpkins as well. His wife might have a different opinion.
Well, she knew what she was getting into when he told her his name, didn’t she?
You mean Mrs. Pumpkin-eater? Maybe we don’t want to go there…
She misheard. She heard “Peter” and “eater” and her mind went to That Place.
I know mine did. 😉
Not unhappy, Manda, inhapy. That’s like being in love. In fact, that’s why he’s warning the pumpkins, Sparky knows it’s wrong, but loving the pumpkins feels so right, so he gives them fair warning.
Ok, “pumkin kharma” is delishously provocative.
Lets, see: Raised to grotesque proportions to only be hollowed out, and all nutritional value be discarded. To then be whittled upon by the sublime and ridiculous. To be a candle-lit lantern for a few nights before being discarded in great disgust.
So, just how is that different from The Office?
(Is “inhappy” like “infamous”?)
Sigh, 400 error to ensue upon pressing “Submit Comment”–three for three today.
Switch to Chrome! I did and no more 400 Error smackdowns.
Pumpkin karma is starting to sound like being a Playboy bunny…
I just now read Capn’s comment up there, and and if “inhappy” means infamous then I wouldn’t mind being inhappy that much.
Yes, That’s a video game link. I expect you all to know that by now.
Well, truth be told, it’s an aside to the line in The Three Amigos about the “infamous el Guapo.”
“What’s ‘infamous’?”
“It’s more-than famous”
later:
“We’ll have three beers.”
“Sorry, no beer, we have tequila.”
“What’s ‘tequila’ like?”
“Oh, it’s like beer.”
Tequila?!?! Margaritas!!!!!
I thought it was Pumpkin Korma, sort of an orange spicy yogurt curry.
That actually sounds really good.
We was inhappy…hmmm…
We was inbred…yeah, that sounds more like it…
I think inhappy IS the location. They were in Happy, with the pumpkins. They just needed some punctuation.
I was trying to figure out what “inhappy” meant. Uncle Google was no help. I think that Manda is right. The location is in HAPPY, location. However, I think that they need more than just some punctuation.
The best I could come up with was some horrible mangling of “wasn’t happy”. I think being in Happy makes just as much sense as that does.
Happy is about 35 Mi south of Amarillo TX. Read this ad with a Texas accent, maybe it’ll help…
Is it near Hotter Than Hell, Tx?
Is that on the border near Hell’s a Popping, AZ?
Hotter Than Hell, TX is DFW area right now, or at least that’s what 85 feels like when wearing a sweater because it was 45 this morning.
I’m out of Happy. I need to get to the store later.
Do you mind getting the large box for me? Thanks LRC.
No, Artsy, Mindfield is in the box today, not LRC :-p
Oh — I think I’m having issues conceptualizing the whole “box” idea. In the box, out of the box, large box, small box, his box, her box, ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
It really helps if you just think of it as a Golden Lotus.*
*This may not actually be true.
You may have more luck conceptualizing the whole Bach’s idea. Something about if it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.
I have a question about a song, but it’s possibly explicit, but I’m not sure. Anyone mind hearing me out?
In honor of Taco, be sure to use *** at the explicit parts!!!
Or better yet, use look-alike symbols in place of some of the letters! Like @, $, |, too many to list.
No, no, It might be explicit, but it doesn’t say any words specifically. So…Nirvana’s Heart-Shaped Box….I keep thinking the box in question may be a “Golden Lotus,” which makes the line “I’ve been trapped inside your heart-shaped box for weeks” deeply disturbing. Am I right, or is my mind just deeply, deeply in the gutter?
Considering the phrase “meat-eating orchids” appears in the song, that would be a safe bet.
So it’s less of a golden lotus and more of a golden venus fly trap?
Ew, I just hurt my soul.
Considering that the song reportedly refers to Courtney Love, any of the suggested possibilities are … possible.
Well, that makes it more of a tarnished brass LaBrea Tar Pit…
And, it being Poetry Day, that whole line of thinking pierces me tru te roote . . .
It’s poetry day? I should read some.
Yeah, somebody yesterday was edjukating us about poetry. 8)
A poem:
Pumpkin Beware
“Pumpkins beware this All Hallow’s Eve;
this man will use you to become in happy,
then in the twisted plot he doth weave,
he’ll sell you for a dollar in a given metropolitan area.
He’ll destroy your orange lotus and traffick you off
and hide your location from all the world.
The great one shall arise, and with the help of the blanketed one,
will forge a new dawn for pumpkin-kind.
But pumpkins beware this All Hallow’s Eve;
After H’ween comes Thanksgiving,
and hot pumpkin pie.
Syllabic Emphasis.”
Astro, you broke the doors.
No, Charlton Heston did.
… and inebriated.
….and inexplicably compelled to post an ad on CL…
Oh, you wanna buy these pumpkins? You wanna buy these pumpkins, do ya, pumpkin? Listen, you don’t want these pumpkins, these pumpkins suck, pumpkin. No kidding, they’re kind of mushy, they’ve got this sickly pallor, and they have a terrible singing voice. Don’t ask them for any favours either, even if they do it they’ll take forever and it’ll be a half-assed effort even then. And don’t even think of turning them into pumpkin pie or roasted pumpkin seeds there, pumpkin. The second you start cutting into them they’ll start to complain endlessly about how life sucks and love is an illusion and they’ll thank you for ending their torment through streaming tears of mascara, and that’s just creepy.
No way, pumpkin, steer clear of this bunch. You don’t want anything to do with these pumpkins. Go find yourself a better batch of gourds.
:: handing Mindfield a Canadian dollar ::
That was the best bit of pumpkin advice ever!
Could you also give me a hint as to where the razor blades are concealed (apples are SO last decade)?
If they’re doing it right, down the road, not across the street.
On a related note, this is the part where I realize that being relatively proficient at the English language often causes me to miss the more subtle nuances of custom conjugation employed by those who are … not. Case in point: I thought that said “he was inhappy with them.” Ignoring the obvious spelling error I went for the Third-party-Sparky-was-selling-pumpkins-he-didn’t-like angle, realizing only too late that it wasn’t the third party Sparky that was inahppy with them, but rather Sparky him/her/theyself. I guess it still kind of works if you frame it in the context of Sparky’s own cautionary tale to another pumpkin.
Random thought: Is “inhappy” like the present participle of the state of being enthusiastically contented, or is it the quality of being unable to be happy?
Perhaps it’s like being in love. A nuanced level of happiness. Like the difference between loving something and being in love with something. You’re happy with the work you did on a presentation, but in happy with the gazebo you built in the garden with nothing but a pile of toothpicks and some glue.
Or, you know, the ‘i’ and ‘u’ keys are close together on the keyboard and someone was just so consumed with resentment over their substandard pumpkins that they couldn’t take the two seconds to spellcheck before posting on CL.
My reading-mind matrix-es all the time too.
You mean like, is “inebriated” the quality of being unable to be ebriated?
p.s. you said inahppy
I read inahppy as “in a hippy”.
Hey, if the Sparkies of the world can make up new words, so can I. I hereby submit for Webster’s approval: Inahppy.
Inahppy [ihn-ahh-pee] (adj.) 1. To be disapproving of the concept of mobile applications. 2. To disapprove of one or multiple applications. 3. To be contained within the seed of a legume of the family fabaceae. 4. The state of being engaged in urination.
No, probably not… That explanation is entirely too logucal :-p
Oops, should have read down here before posting my comment above. Sorry for wandering around in your mind, Reina!
Foil Beeanies! Get jer Foil Beeanies right cher!
No! Windrose, go take a peek in Reina’s head before you sell her a beanie. It’s kinda neat, there’s all these cricket players and they keep losing their uniforms.
*peers avidly at reina’s head*
*peers avidly at Lola’s knees of the shoulder*
Oh, sorry, was that two insular?
Ewwww…
(at Reina’s nekkid cricket players, not Lola’s shoulder knees)
Emo Pumpkins?
I was thinking Goth pumpkin, Halloween is scary and dark, Goth people think they are dark, etc.
I’m not saying I’ve never seen a dark goth (because I have), but most goths are so white they glow in the dark.
You can get white pumpkins now.
http://housemartin.typepad.com/housemartin/images/2007/10/30/white.jpg
Use a Sharpie for “eyeliner” and you really could make an emo or goth jack o’lantern. You’d have to find a way to pierce a pumpkin though.
sj: Could I make mine a mime pumpkin*?
*(that was a bit of a tongue twister)
Mimes are the evil ninjas of the clowning world, so I guess that would be considered appropriately scary for Halloween.
No, no, no, ninja have some use in the world, with proven, repeatable skills.
Mimes are more like the City Councilmen of the Clown world–someone has to do it, but, it’s not something you want to admit to, or be around for any length of time, and is occasionally quite painful (and expensive) to experience in person . . .
You could mimic some piercings with straight pins. The kinds with the balls on the end. Use two on either side of the eyebrow for an eyebrow piercing, and one for a labret piercing. Doing lip rings and 50 million earrings might be harder…maybe just make notches and nest the rings in there.
Heck, you could even use old stud earrings and shove ’em into the pumpkin…
Mudsy, I don’t mime if you don’t.
But if I don’t mime….will my mime pumpkin be sublime? Or will it even exist at all?
What do you meme?
Emo emo pumpkin seller
Had an ad but was no speller
He put it on the CL site
And subjected us all to his spite
So you’re saying these are pumpkins that were created with GPP (Genuine People Personalities) technology?
Cause that worked so well for Marvin [/sarcasm]
Those self-satisfied doors were pretty happy with their lot though. Plus, even if it didn’t work so well on mechanical things, I would like to think GPP could be grafted into organic DNA much more effectively. Heck, I have a feeling experiments have been done with this for years — I mean, with the way Bob Ross always talked about “happy little trees”, there has to be something he’s not telling us.
No, Mindfield, I’m pretty sure he just wanted everyone to know about his joyous wood. :-p
Mindfield, for some reason, when I read self-satisfied doors, my mind went into the gutter with that one.
It’s never done that with the phrase before.
Also, Self-Satisfied Doors is IF’s The Doors tribute band.
@EclecticBlue – I don’t want to know about Bob Ross’ joyous wood. Not that such unwelcome thoughts would hang around long anyway, as they’d invariably get pushed out by his fro.
@Astro – Could it perhaps be because “doors” are a unit of currency here? Not that this makes it any less confusing.
My nickname as a child was “Pumpkin.” I wish I knew where this was, so I could stay away from there.
Now you just need to meet a guy whose nickname was Honey Bunny.
Why I thought of this:
The local highschool has a game tonight, so I was just sitting outside listening to the marching band playing Misirlou (really good actually, from here it sounds like the drums are covering the guitar parts).
Dick Dale reference FTW. You know, I never made that connection before. I’ll have to be careful what I call any future boyfriends … don’t want to suddenly find myself holding up a diner in LA. Thanks for the tip!
Just don’t take my wallet, it’s the one that says “Rad MotherTrucker*” on it.
*Why yes, I did buy it out of the back of a truck on Canal Street, why do you ask?
He is dissatisfied with the pumpkin dating service he used (Patch.com)
Sounds like…Punkin’ humpin’
Patch.com sounds like a pirate..err I mean privateer dating site. You should go with outofyourgourd.com.
inandoutofyourgourd.com
Amusingly and ironically, today we dressed the baby in her “Baby’s First Halloween” onesie and a pumpkin hat.
Here’s hoping this SSPV isn’t in greater Boston.
Hey Meej! We’re neighbors. I’m in NH.
Well, I’d figured it was that or Maine – where else does one find moose?
Canada has moose…meese…whatever.
Moosen.
There were many of ‘em. Many much moosen.
Washington state – we had one wandering about the neighborhood some years ago. Bit out of place, but not too far.
Alaska also has meese.
Hawaii has moosaii.
Lola, did you live here in the upper left hand corner?
Are you in the upper left hand corner, Tank? I grew up in Portland!
Lower-ish left, Tankerbell.
I am, Bridgete, I’m in Olympia. In fact, I just drove up to our Seattle office yesterday for a meeeting and have been thrilled anew not to live/work in Seattle or Tacoma anymore. They’re both great, but I wouldn’t want to live there.
Yeah, I don’t like Seattle. Not as a place to live, at least.
I didn’t see you wave when you drove past my house and my office…
I waved up. I thought you were in orbit this week.
No, not this week. This week I am designing a new earth station network to better communicate with the cave of technological wonders.
Since you aren’t in orbit this week, can you order one of those super-armored suits, a la Ironman, for me, since you clearly work for DARPA.
I love Seattle, but then I manage to live in NYC, so comparatively it doesn’t seem bad. In fact … *squints* from here it looks pretty good.
Disneyland Canada’s mascot is Mickey Moose.
Sorry, couldn’t resist. No offense to anyone in Canada.
All the suits are at the cleaners, how about some very nice pants?
Ham, if you are offering them, I assume they are immaturity pants?
These people are morons, you never buy pumpkins from that guy. You buy them from the guy across the street from him. I thought everyone knew this??
That must be the place where they don’t REQUIRE that you pick out your pumpkins with a blindfold and welding gloves!
Because the last I remember, the onus of picking out a good pumpkin was solely on the picker; if you totally suck at pumpkin-picking, well then, whose fault really is it at the end of the day?
I’m just sayin’….
Mudsy, you are exactly right. And the more I think about it, I can’t see how people who are capable of such awesome CL posting could possibly choose pumpkins badly. Which got me to wondering whether perhaps the pumpkins looked fine on the outside, but held some surprise on the inside which made these Sparkalators inhappy. Like, maybe they cut into them and heard “ZUUUUUUUULLLLL!” Or maybe the pumpkins grabbed the knives and then tried to use them on the Sparkalators instead. Or maybe they complained in Gilbert Gottfried’s voice the whole time they were being carved. Perhaps they were filled with British Petroleum products? Axe body spray? Canadians?
They held mini Justin Biebers and Hannah Montanas inside. Actually, that’d be a great Halloween decoration. I’m terrified and thus hate both of those people. But that’s just me.
I’d like to think that, if the difference was indeed the inside, that they were found to all be filled with creamy-marshmallow-fluffy- chocolate-caramel gooey-ness*—-like a pumpkin spice lava cake. Mmmmmm. And then I woke up.
*or, at the very least, Cracker Jack.
These sound amazing! We should go into the pumpkin filled goodness business.
Sounds like a plan. But I’d have to draw the line on that poncho being anywhere near the kitchen or the customers.
How could anyone, however, be inhappy with the “filled with creamy-marshmallow-fluffy- chocolate-caramel gooey-ness”??
doesn’t grok…
Well, persons with orthodontal appliances can have trouble with sticky-gooeiness.
That would make the BEST. PUMPKIN.
CUSTARD“PIE”. EVER.ref=”nofollow”>
Oh right. “Bob” with the van, right?
No, NMN, that’s his cousin..
Wrong guy. You go to Bob for apples, not pumpkins. He has great apples too. You wouldn’t be inhappy with them.
groan …..
So if Bob sells apples, and Joe sells pumpkins, what does Bubba McBeerbelly* sell?
* One, I have to keep this thread going. Two, I love winging it when thinking of names.
Who do you recommend for nuts?
What? I have a hankering for pecans.
Any male will do for nuts.
Richard usually has a couple nearby, but I think he goes by some nickname.
I used to call my boss at the hotel “you diminutive for Richard.” Once he caught on to what I was calling him (it took 3 weeks), I started calling him a gothamist.
I know what you were doing there kelli.
*tapping my temple with my index finger*
So you were really trying to call him Batman, right?
Definitely not Batman Mudsy. I did call him Malibu Ken while I was training him.
kelli, it sounds like you have some awesome stories about your boss…Do share!
[ot] Former boss, Miss Nomer, I quit that job on my fifth work anniversary (it was actually the second time I had worked there). I trained all the new people, 3 of which were promoted over me to Front Desk Manager. Malibu Ken was promoted because he was pretty and flirted with the female guests when they came up to complain. He would go out every night drinking and not answer his phone when called from the hotel. He got caught having phone sex with one of the female clerks while she was on duty. This happened while he was living with the Head of Housekeeping’s niece. I’d tell you more but I do have other things I should do today and I literally could write all day about this intelligence challenged individual.[/ot]
I used to have a Ken doll whose head I used to rub on the sidewalk and make him bald. Was it something like that?
Mudsy, he dyed his hair blond and dressed like Malibu Ken.
Bavec! Welcome to YSaC (my apologies if you are not new, but I do not recall a pink storm trooper).
You’re certainly off to a strong start on the commenting. 🙂
Yeah, I’m pretty sure a pink cannon fodder – err stormtrooper is something we would remember.
:3 That’s why mommy says I’m special. I’m a frequent lurker… I don’t know if I’ve commented before.
That wasn’t a bash on you Bavec, that was a bash on stormtroopers in general.
I remember you, Bavec! Haven’t seen you in a while though.
You have, but you never stay around long enough, B!
TK421, why aren’t you at your post?
This is not the trooper you are looking for.
*waves hand mysteriously*
Just a word of advice to our more chronologically youthful members ….. if you decide to further your education, which I highly recommend, don’t hide in the math and computer science departments for 8+ years. If I hadn’t, I might be able to write beautiful prose and haiks, remaster boring old songs and make amusing references to long dead writers allowing me to be placed in the YSaC box more often. Think about your future.
This message has been brought to you by the English department at your favorite institution of higher learning.
This one may very well put you in the box (better than a pumpkin shell).
😉
It’s OK, I highered my education in the Exercise Sciences department… Not much haiku or prose writing there, either.
But I like haikus
They’re easy for me to write
And make me giggle
Artsy, I promise that being an English major doesn’t automatically grant you amazing writing skills. Especially if you become an English major because you like to read and edit OTHER peoples writing, not because you love writing.
Also, pretty much the only thing my degree is good for? YSaC.*
*This may not be technically true.
My English major comes in handy mostly for weeping over the reports I wish I were senior enough to edit at the environmental group I work at.
And blogging. Or it used to, back when there were hours left between work, food and sleeping.
Why yes, apparently you did EB.
😉
Yup, that’s kinda where I was going with that :-p
I hired my education outta the back of Bob’s van…
I should have done that, then I wouldn’t be spending thousands of dollars right now.
You can hire your education online – all you need is a valid credit card number.
Hell, it don’t even have to be your credit card.
The secret is to get someone else to pay for it. Luckily, after I finished undergrad work, I had full rides in grad school — twice. I keep trying to get my kids to see the wisdom of my ways. Of course, I still get the MOM look.
Sometimes I feel like I’m hiring my education out of the back of Bob’s van…but then I remember that Bob doesn’t take student loans ’cause he’s too honest.
Only costed me twenny five dollars…. I got a sheepskin and evert’ing…
It’s okay. I’m going to be a Music Ed major. I can make obscure musical references.
They “was inhappy with the pumpkins”, which to me suggests some sort of Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater scenario, as well, but involving imprisonment of these
yahoosfine Americans inside his evil pumpkin prison. Maybe “this guy” (who apparently needs no name in whatever location this is) saw that the pumpkins had a somewhat architectural quality to them, and decided to build a neat fort out of them. But then, being given to macabre and spiteful tendencies, decided the fort should not be used to keep icky girls out, but rather to keepinbred hickshonored citizens in. So up come these folks to “This Guy’s” windowless van with a cardboard sign spraypainted with “punkenz” on it, and the rest is CL history.Same guy who would buy a plastick wllbarro.
I’ve read this several times now and keep thinking that “Punkenz” sounds like a tween “punk” band from Disney. “Punk” is in quotations because if original punks had to listen to them, they’d spit and throw stuff.
Isn’t that sort of what punks do anyway?
Exactly my point!
Hey! what gives you the right
To put up a fence to keep girls out or to keep those pumpkins in
If God was here, he’d tell you to your face, man you’re some kinda sinner
Signs, Signs, everywhere a sign!
Does it involve Mel Gibson, Joachim Phoenix, and the Annoys-Astro-M. Night Shamalan?
Blockin out the pumpkins and slippin my mind…
Well the sign says long-haired girly people
need not apply
So I tucked my ovaries up into some pants
and I went in to ask This Guy
He said you look like a fine, XY endowed man, I think you’ll do
So I flashed him my junk and said “imagine that!” Me here, hangin’ witchyu.
Good googamugga!! what hath LRC wrought?
Oh, there’s no way this is my fault. No.Fraking.Way.
But it’s a GOOD thing! 8)
Oh. Well, then…..Yay ME!
I’ve warned my pumpkins, but they didn’t seem to care. They just sat there, not even moving their leaves.
I know I’m going to sound stupid, but seeing how I don’t use Craigslist, is there a section where you say something and don’t sell anything? Because this person (or these people) seem like they would be better off saying this on Twitter, or Digg, or some other site where people chat. Not on Craigslist, where you sell stuff.
That turned out to be longer than I intended. Sorry.
There’s always Missed Connections…
Pretty sure there’s stuff for sale there as well.
CraigsList does have fora, but the few times I’ve checked it out it seemed to be all bodily function jokes, insults, spambots, and trolls.
Hey, I missed you, guy. You were in the patch, at the farm. I looked at you, and we talked about buying a pumpkin, and I knew we were meant to be together. Please answer my calls. And texts. And emails. And letters. And come see me when I’m outside your window at night…..and in your room in the morning.*
Crazy weirdos in missed connections….at least according to this site.
*This was supposed to be creepy….it’s getting to be Halloween, after all.
Creepy? It sounds like a Twi-tard’s idea of TREEEEWWW LUUUUUV!!!!*
*Ick ick ick. *washes hands*
That would be Twi-Tard. (With all apologies to anyone who is or cares about someone who is learning disabled. I do not mean to insult you by lumping you in with middle-aged women lusting after fictional 17-year-old boys.)
Ohh, I was trying to figure out what a Twi-Tard is. Got it now. 😉
Or, in fictional 107 y/o lusting after 16-17 y/o girls, for that matter.
To Tankerbell:
I didn’t want to release this information, but I am in fact slightly learning disabled. I have AS.*
*Please don’t treat me differently because of this. That is all.
Gah! Every time someone states the plot in bare facts, I get all ooked 0ut and want to go hide under the couch for a while until this “literary” phase passes…
NMN…please, don’t be offended, but well…you are in the Snark Lounge…
You have AS? I have ASS…and a fat one at that…wonder if I can get some kind of disability for that.
Oh, I think I know what you mean, NMN. No worries. 🙂
I feel bad for your generation, NMN (this goes for Astro and Laurel as well), back when I was a kid, I was hyperactive and had huge problems concentrating on anything in school. In second grade we were given a test and my results indicated that I was smart, but bored, so I was moved into a pioneer program for gifted kids. Had I been born 20 years later I would have been diagnosed with ADD, AS, or any number of different acronyms, given a bunch of pills and told to deal with it.
Long story short, I don’t see you any differently now than before. YSaC is kinda like the gifted class of the internet.
Do I owe you an apology, NMN? If my comment made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry.
They did the same thing for me, Christina. I wasn’t hyperactive though. I don’t know why I took the test (Mom, I know you’re lurking about, maybe you remember) but I know I was in the gifted program. I remember about once a week I got to go to some different classes that were just for all the “smart but bored” kids.
Gifted class alumna here, too. With the exception of math*, I was yards ahead of my contemporaries in most subjects and resultantly frequently bored, which sometimes resulted in non-A grades because I wasn’t always paying close attention. I was also an only child and spent a fair amount of time on my own, and probably more than a little weird sometimes.
*where I was practically remedial, to my near-endless** embarrassment
**though not any more
I had plenty of non-A grades for the same reason.
I suspected there would be more than a few folks here who were in the gifted program.
Fat lot of good it did me though. We moved to a large city with an underfunded school district when I was in fifth grade, and I landed in a class with a teacher who didn’t take kindly to having a smarty pants telling him she already covered the work the year before. I didn’t get decent grades again until high school, when we moved to the suburbs.
And I so wanted to throw in a joke about drawing at an eight year old level when I was six, but the “I heart BJ” post might be a bit obscure.
Sadly, the “I heart BJ” bit led me to…well…What do YOU think an 18 year old teenage boy would think of at the letters B and J? Give an answer and you could be entered to win…nothing, seeing how I’m going to bed as soon as I post this comment. Goodnight, Canada!*
*Sorry to steal your thunder, Windy.
Hey, I was GBB, too! Maybe I’m right at the edge of the GBB/ADHD border… I got to ride the short bus to special classes, which was especially awesome when I got to miss the second day of frog dissection :-p (I wasn’t as interested in guts back then…)
But now you are?
NMN, I hope you don’t regret sharing so much with us. It’s pretty safe here, and we all like you, so no one will treat you differently. And if they do, you let me know, and I will edit them! Promise.
Well, I had the benefit/onus of having gonr to public school in six different school districts. I happened along on the last crest of the baby boom, too, so every school district I attended was at or betond maximum capacity in one way or another.
In one of those, to reduce class crowding, they extensively tested us, moving us to different educational levels in a near willy-nilly sort of fashion. Which is why I spent some time in remedial classes, but in a middle school, three grades beyond my age.
So, it was tough sledding by the time we settled in to stay in Dallas. I was so bored in most of my classes I was regularly tested for need for remdial ed; yet tested so far above greade level that it was against policy to promote me (mostly because the pointy-haired types were having trouble enough scheduling protable buildings for classrooms as was).
Did not help that I moved into a neighborhood, which, for the first time in my life had no other transients in it. Everyone else there had known each other from 2nd or 3rd grade.
It wasn’t until high school, and the then-new magnet program that I managed to “do” anything usefull in school. Probably helped I was surrounded by transients (was one myself, on that 40 minuye bus ride from one side of Dallas to the other). Took a three-class-year HS of only 5000, and a graduating class og 932 to “stand out”–and in some stellar company (141 National Merit Scholars in that class).
Yes, Bombdude, now I am… I highered my education in Exercise Sciences, remember? 🙂 I was originally going to be a nurse, but I didn’t get the grades to cut it (3.3 GPA wasn’t nearly good enough… Blech) so after my fourth semester I realized that I only needed two more semesters of school to graduate with an Exercise Science degree :-p
unlurking to confirm Bridgete’s gifted child status. Not that she needs confirming! Her pre-school teacher thought she wasn’t quite ready for school, even though she was already reading and writing her own little books by 4. So we tested her in kindergarten and she spent the next few years going to the special gifted classes. It was all going well until she got into a math class where she was expected to grasp the concept of infinity at about 9. She was so miserable in her special classes that she didn’t even want to go to school anymore, so we let her just be a normal kid then. I think it worked out well. (abnormally proud mama here) I now return to my regular lurking…
I love Halloween. Especially since I live in a neighboorhood where there’s only about ten houses, and no young kids* to come take away my candy…there’s always leftover candy.
I love leftover candy.
*Young kids because I don’t know anybody over 14 who still goes trick-or-treating.
No, at that age it might be trick-or-drinking. If the people whose houses you go to play along, that can be fun.
14?
Coincidence?
I think not.
😉
Was out last year for H’ween, it being someone’s birthday, and the bars were quite full of college kids busily involved in tricker-drinking, and in a plethora of costume.
The panoply of it might have been much more fun, had I not been designated driver and more than a bit over-caffienated from excess iced tea, and a long, long night, too. (Was only up for 23 hours that specific Saturday–the things we do for others, that are ignored later <gritted-teeth-sigh>)
Oh. clearing cache twice has restored YSaC on IE–WooHoo!
Dude… I feel your pain. For the last 3 or 4 years I have had to perform at the local AA chapter for their Halloween party *and* their New Years Eve party. Dry holidays both.*
*Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
**Download and use Chrome. Quit with the 400 errors already…
That’s all I need, a third browser to keep up with.
I’m running FireFox for 80% of my browsing needs, kept IE only for online AV scanning and some “legacy” compliance issues.
Just need to run CCLeaner every day, it seems like.
At least on this desktop.
The TabletPC does not seem to care–IE or FF, unless a raft of other folk are having troubles, too.
Capn — my hosting provider has given me suggestions for testing some plugins that might be causing the conflict, but I can’t do it while I’m out of town. I will be testing different configurations when I get back.
Unfortunately, one of the primary suspects is the plugin that lets y’all edit your posts — so that functionality may be going away soon-ish to test whether that reduces the number of errors.
Have had an “itch” that varying bandwidth was a factor; had not thought to analyze bandwidth use running Ajax (or similar dynamic) critters.
Does neatly explain why the home page will load politely, but navigating to any sub-portion then “risks” an error message.
Oh well, at least it is not Drupal–that’s misery compounded upon misery.
You are never too old to dress up in funny clothes and demand that total strangers give you free candy. It’s best to only do it at Halloween though, or you’re likely get a visit from Mr. and/or Ms. Policeperson.
When I was about 14, my friend and I dressed up on April Fool’s Day and went trick or treating. We thought we were SO funny.
Get anything good?
Every Halloween my mom would dress me up in a spastic straw hat and some patent leather shoes and a hideous pastel coat. All I ever got was some hard boiled eggs and these weird chocolate rabbit icons. Always the crappiest Halloween ever.
My friend’s grandma gave us some of her famous homemade fruit leather. I think someone else gave us some mints, too. Mostly, we just got a bunch of really funny looks.
In my family Halloween is more highly regarded than even Christmas. Oldest daughter and her hubby spend WEEKS decorating their house and yard, and then on the big night turn garage into haunted house/gauntlet which kids must navigate to get candy…son-in-law waits behind curtain, dressed as Michael Myers, and then when a likely
victimcandidate walks in, he reveals himself and slowly walks towards them. OMG..the ensuing hilarity….good times, good times indeed.Miss Nomer, the only problem I see with that is that I didn’t think of it first.
CJ, is that the hair stylist daughter? Because if so I swear I know her, or someone just like her.
Yes, Christina….it is….hmmm…are we friends on FB? Cuz that way we could confirm.
Confession time. I hate Hallowe’en. It was never a big deal when I was young, but in the last 20 years or so it has become such big business. There are old British traditions relating to Oct 31st – it’s sometimes referred to as Mischief Night – but they are all disappearing.
I remember about 10 or 11 years ago having kids knocking on the door 3 weeks before the day itself. Typical British – take an American custom and stuff it up, thus ruining it for everyone.
If forced to answer the door, I will do so with my most evil-looking rat on my shoulder.
Pumpkin in the market for pumpkins? Could be a pumpkin john.
Punkin’ love
And they called it Punkin’ love
Oh, I guess it’ll never know
How a young gourd really feels
And why inhappy I am so
And they called it Punkin’ love
Just because I’m in your patch
Tell them all it isn’t fair
To take away my only squash
I fry each night my seeds for you
My seeds are covered in Worcestershire
I’ll hope and I’ll pray that maybe someday
You’ll be back in my patch once again
Someone, help me, help me, help me please
Is the answer up above
How can I, how can I tell them
This I’m makin’ Punkin’ love
***Singing the punkin love song here in my office***
Awesome! And thanks for the earworm blast from the past.
Hamcan, I really need to start stalking you….I’m feeling a pumpkin pumpkin burnin’ love!
I don’t think Hammy wants his loving to “burn”.
I think he’s more of a
MuskratPumpkin Love kind of guy.Pumpkins hump in candlelight
Doin’ the town and doin’ it right
In the evenin’
It’s pretty pleasin’
Pumpkin Susie, Pumpkin Sam
Do the jitterbug out in pumpkin land
They are inhappy
And Sammy’s so sappy
They’re not squash, they’re not yams, they’re no beet, ah!
They’re the maxima of cucurbita
Pumpkin lovin’ seems pretty sweet, ah,
Looks like pumpkin love!
That was scary.
!!+1elebenty!! adores just for being on the same wavelength.
Yeah, you kinda freaked me out that MS.
So that’s why we cut mouths into pumpkins.
*Puts self in corner*
With Taco gone, and Hammy decidedly absent, someone has to take the job.
“And Sammy’s so sappy.”
I don’t think that’s sap, considering the context.
::Alarm bells ringing::
Being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your guts CLEAN OUT.
You’ve got to ask yourself one question.
Do I feel lucky?
Well do ya, Pumpkin?
While you are at it, Spacebug, you might as well tell the pumpkin that while it will be dead (or more dead as the case may be; it’s a pumpkin off the vine), you, Spacebug, will have just completely annihilated whatever hand you had the gun in.
OK – totally OT, but too good to pass up…
First grade went to visit a dairy farm today, and we all had the experience of watching a calf being born (met with great amazement and excitement). Comment from one tiny little munchkin, “Wow Mr. __, did you see that! She pooped a little cow!”, followed by the disappointed, “My cat can only poop kittens.”
I’m sure the cat is relieved.
Back to your regularly scheduled program, “The Mutant Pumpkin of Kalamazoo”.
*vibrating with tears and helpless, silent laughter at my desk*
I’m with you, Lola…only thank God and Greyhound I’m alone in the office and I don’t have to stifle…
*wipes tears from eyes*
Thank God my coworkers are used to me laughing alone in my office. Grampdaddy, that was priceless!
Your grandchildren would like to know why mommy is crying but looks like she is laughing and there is no sound coming out.
That’s truly priceless.
And this, seriously, is why I love what I do. There is great wisdom in a child’s perception of the world – I mean, really, how can you take all the crap seriously when you get a line like that to ponder. I spent all those years in corporations trying to make the boss look good (or go crazy), hating it, and all I really needed was a ‘kitten poopin’ cat’ ….. The hard part is not collapsing on the floor laughing in front of the child.
Go figure…..
Okay, so I may be half drunk on excellent European wine, but ….
… actually, I have no idea where I was going with that. I think I’m just half drunk on excellent European wine. Really excellent European wine.
That is all. Carry on.
So, you and your bees are all slightly buzzed. I’m glad they are with you, beesfully.
I’m going to hazard a guess and say it’s from Romagna.*
*Italy, for those of you who don’t know.
Nope. A St. Laurent, which is an Austrian red wine that apparently is a “lost grape” that’s been re-found lately at a monastery. All I know is, it’s yummy. Really, really, REALLY yummy.
I think I’mma fall over now.
Dear Llama-nun, hope those foreign types are treating you well. Giving you soft things to fall on and such. May bees be in your grapes.
You can’t fall over yet, you’ve not mastered the beer warbler..plus yer still makin’ sense.
Drink up, now…that’s a good llamanun*
*bees be upon you
Trying to picture a drunk llama. That only makes it funnier.
You’ll know you’ve had too much if you poop a cow. Or a kitten.
Better European wine than squash brandy or flagons of pumpkin ale.
Oh, man! drunk drmk posting!
Best.Blog.Ever!
Seeing as I’ve been remembering random phone numbers today, and nothing goes better with a good drunk than pizza, I’m gonna throw this one at ya, Llama-nun*:
Seven Nine Seven Nine, Nine Six Oh!
You can’t not know that one.
*bees, cheese, pepperonis be upon you
christina, I see your earworm and raise you thusly:
I’m a lucky girl
Hooray, oh boy!
Look at my diamond!
It came from ______.
My boyfriend bought it,
Saved lots of money too.
_____’s the diamond king,
Yes, he’s the man for you.
Well played. I had almost forgotten that one.
I will have to wait until later when I get home, but I know the carving of Jack O’Lanterns actually started with turnips, because pumpkins are a new world gourd. I will do the research eventually.
AH, good ol’ Wiki!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack-o%27-lantern
pumpkin beware
*Anagram fun*
Pimp Urban Week (Ran out of customers in the city)
Amber Punk Wipe (Yellowish Mohawk TP)
Wink Ape Bumper (I got no snark, it just sounded funny)
Ark Bin Pump Wee (How Noah dealt with the mess)
Brake Pump Wine (There’s no stopping the Chardonnay)
Ewe Bra Ink Pump (What a wet nurse sheeptopus wears)
I’m totally adopting “amber punk wipe” as an insult!
Okay! Mindfield, Punchity Pumpkin Punch!
G’Night, Upper Ish And Lower Left!