barbeque,disco,grill – $165
grill,home,made,comes,with,stand,36-inches,hi, gas,hose,regulator,burner,no-tank,robert,xxx-xxxx,thank’s
Pandora sends this one in, saying, “Burn, baby, burn — disco barbeque!”
Perhaps even more importantly, IT’S FROM THE FUTURE! It’s a robot disco barbeque that’s come back to kill us all … or perhaps to just make us some yummy Szechuan chicken.
Thanks, Pandora!
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All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
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so,that’s,what,happened,to,my,saucer,sle’d
I know, it’s as if he thinks that long bar at the bottom of the keyboard is just for decoration!
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy?
Would you like to see my novel?
“All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.
All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy. All wok and no spacebar make Robert a dull boy.”
That more of a parrotdy then a novel…
I’ve peer-edited papers that sound pretty much like that. It always makes me sad.
Wouldn’t it be –
All,wok,and,no,spacebar,make,Robert,a,dull,boy
All,wok,and,no,spacebar,make,Robert,a,dull,boy
All,wok,and,no,spacebar,make,Robert,a,dull,boy
All,wok,and,no,spacebar,make,Robert,a,dull,boy
…etc?
(That was painful)
I want to see a pic of that wokeque from 2012—December 22 to be exact! I NEED to know if the Mayans were correct.
Well, whatever happens in 2012, it can’t be that catastrophic. Apparently we’ll still be happily charring stuff outside using propane. And we’ll still have garages full of crap.
If I owned a grill/wok/disco thingy capable of time travel I think I could come up with something better to do with it than going back and selling it on CraigsList. I would be more interested in seeing what dinosaur steaks tasted like.
I don’t know, you go through all that trouble to bag a t-rex without stepping on a single goddam butterfly, haul his carcass back to the present, dull all your best knives dressing that bad boy, only to find out dinosaur tastes like chicken. I’d be more than a little dissapointed.
Don’t you think you’d have a greater chance at some sort of paradoxical catastrophe baggin a T-Rex than stepping on a butterfly, damned by the higher power or not?
Not really–I think you’d get eaten before you were actually able to bag the ‘Rex, but you probably wouldn’t even notice the poor butterfly. Hmm, is that thunder, i hear?
I figured the butterfly reference would be fresh in either yours or Astro’s mind, Laurel, provided The Delicate Sound Of Thunder is still required reading. That, The Martian Chronicles and The Most Dangerous Game have really stuck with me for some reason.
Why is it assumed that all time travellers would go immediately for a T. rex? There were plenty of smaller, stupider herbivores around that would be less likely to view me as a meal; one of those would suit me just fine.
I’ve never actually read the story, as it’s not required reading at my school, but enough of my favourite sources reference it that I’ve gotten the gist.
Well, right now, it does seem to be in 2101.
Does that mean we’ll still be mocking YSAC in about 90 years, and if so, is that good or bad?
I’m gonna need something to do while they strain my pudding….
In 90 years, I’ll be 140, unless there’s a medium involved, I imagine that most things I’d do would smell bad, including the snark . . .
Get all your favourite summertime hits of 1978 with K-Tel’s Disco Barbecue! You’ll hear smash hits like this:
“Boogie oogie boogie woky disco grill
Keep me grilling all night
Boogie oogie boogie woky disco grill
Szechuan burger delight”
…and this:
“Gimmie gimmie gimmie some naan after midnight
Won’t somebody make me butter chicken paneer?”
Or chart topping vegetarian hits like this:
“Charred squash
Grillin’ up some charred squash!
Charred squash, yeah
Come on now and grill it with me”
Disco Barbecue, only $9.95 from K-Tel!
Mindfield, you musta been typing while I was looking for my shoes!
No, they clearly state that they want only $165. I’d love to know how they came up with that price—unless it’s exactly $65 more than the brand spanking new version.
I’m just dying for the opportunity to stand outside stir frying vegetables! WHO does this???
[corey]Actually, you’d be surprised. Outdoorsmen use these cooking surfaces quite often. On my last hunting trip one of my hunting partners made breakfast on one of these. Toss in some bacon, let it crisp up. Toss in some eggs and potatoes, let ’em cook. Cover with tortillas for a few minutes to warm the tortillas. Roll the food in the tortillas, garnish with green chile, eat, go kill something. These things are becoming quite popular. The Boy Scout troop with whom I’ve been volunteering uses one to cook enough breakfast or dinner for all campers all at once.[/corey]
OK, that makes sense. But the price and the homemade aspect still suck.
Query: Is this, or the homemade taser (in a previous post which I cannot be arsed to link to) more dangerous? Discuss.
I know, but can’t you do that easily on the kitchen stove? Or am I having trouble being a visionary?
Mr. Eyebrows would absolutely LOVE this item. I beg of you, PLEASE.DO.NOT.FORWARD any information to him. Otherwise, it will surely be acquired and join the ranks of all the other manly outdoor cooking apparatus that are necessary to our very survival (too many to list).
Yancy, that very breakfast concoction (and its aftermath) is standard Eyebrow fare on hunting/fishing trips. 🙂
Mudsy, the camping and hunting trips on which these types of cooking platforms are employed are done without the benefit of luxuries like running water, electricity, indoor plumbing, and insulated walls. A propane setup like this is usually the highest level of cooking technology available; in fact, on some campouts I make a mean chicken stew in a dutch oven on a bed of charcoal. When at home I like making this breakfast burrito on the kitchen stove, but cooking it under a starry sky miles from civilization somehow makes it taste much better.
Well, a 36″ wok at the kitchen supply place will set you back $60-65 (cheper than the retail kitchen-bath place which will be about $120)
That burner stand is about $60-80 down to the Academy Sporting goods store. A bit more if it includes the regulator and hose (about $10-15 more; still better than the $20-25 extra).
What troubles is the “home made” aspect.
Unless welding was involved, and the “making’ was in setting a wok on a burner stand.
And, I can get a “turkey frying” kit for about $75, which would have hose, regulator, burner stand–all new–and a 7 gallon pot too.
Spark needs to install an NO detector, the brain damage is incremental.
Maybe Sparky meant it comes with a N2O tank. Or he had been huffing from a N2O tank when he wrote the ad.
Judging by what looks like rust around the handles, I think this is more of the $12.99 walmart variety wok.
That,was,so,annoying,to,read,,and,this,is,even,more,annoying,to,type.’
Did,you,mentally,pause,after,each,word,like,I,did?
Once more, we are punished by Sparky’s lazy phone texting habits.
And, unless the comma is separate on his screen, he pressed “1” twice to get past the full stop to the comma.
Maybe he has a full keyboard touchscreen like I do or just an oldfashioned full keyboard like many text-centric phones
B, yes! I! did!
Sooooo annoying.
Oh the Shatner of it all!!!!
PLEASE,STOP,OR,I’LL,GO,INSANE!
**now hearing this post entirely in the voice of The Shat…
To boldly….grill….where no….man….has grilled before….
*plays Star Trek theme*
[whisper, ’cause this is WAY OT] Laurelhach, I really love your pic. Of COURSE Daleks wear pink tutus! [/whisper]
I think tutus would have been a better update than Skittle-ifying. *
*That’s also a technical term. I’m full of technical terms.
And I don’t think there’s any need to whisper when you say something off topi–SHINY!
I’m trying to reserve judgment until I can see them in action, but I have to admit I burst out laughing when I saw them all shiny and Skittle-ified. Makes it tough to take them seriously.
On the other hand, I’ve known some really hardcore ballerinas, so that might work for me.
Hardcore Ballerinas for band name of the day!
Disco, disco wok! Disco Inferno!
*goes to look for her black velvet and silver glitter platform disco shoes in the garage*
I prefer Wok N’ Roll…
Just add wheels and you’re all set! No more problem, Hammy!
Wok like an Egyptian? (booooo….) 😛
I tried cooking up some Bee Gees 8-tracks and they tasted like crap.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my wok,
I’m a grillin’ man: no time to bake.
Sushi’s cold, sake’s warm
I’ve been a wokking man since I was born
Whether you’re Sparky or whether you’re snarky
You’re grillin’ outside, grillin’ outside
You can Shake’n’Bake it, any way you taste it,
You’re grillin’ outside, grillin outside
Not mine, but apropos… (to the tune of “Cat’s in the cradle”)
the food arrived just the other day
it came to the house in the usual way
there was a tip to give, and
paper plates, came from a wok just a mile away
it was good but don’t ya know it, before twas through
we found cat meat through and through, man
there was cat meat through and through
there was cat in the ladle, at the Hong Kong spoon
delicate essen from here to Rangoon
have you tried a cat yet? in now now when?
and we’ll taste it better then, man
we know we’ll eat a big cat then
Mmmm, cat bacon.
OK, now I have the following:
1) an incurable earworm (ah,ah,ah,ah grillin’ outside, grillin’ outside)
2) a painful craving for szechuan chicken
3) an irrational anger at commas
In regards to #3 – You do realize you used four commas to make that list, right?
,,,,, Camille Lion!
Ahem. Camille is Not.A.Lion.
But Camille Small Bear didn’t fit the song 🙁
Took me a minute to get that. Oh, no! New earworm from Hell!
Christina – very good point, and I do love what you did with the comma-comma-comma part.
Oh! I get it! *switches back to CAKE to dislodge the comma Camille lions*
Mmmmm, love me some CAKE.
Chocolate filled with some kind of fruit jam is my favorite.
Ocassionally, I have the ability to be subtle. Observe:
Male genetalia.
The cake is a LIE.
and the poor Cube had to die for it.
christina, you truly show a mastery of subtle. I absolutely love the technique you used whereby you mispeeled occasionally whilst cunningly directing our attention to the more pronounced mispeeling of male genitalia. Exceptional.
*subtly hands christina a door*
I occasionally speel ocassionally right, but only on speshul occasssions. As for the other, perhaps I should have said male bits?
My spelling is
atroshishatrocuseastrognashreally bad. But that’s why I come here, to get a brain work out. 🙂Perhaps, the “36-inch Hi” needs to be advertised with the TNUC neon letters. Then, these two fine sparkys could open a XXX store.
I’m not really sure I’d say hi to 36 inches. I think I might just run away!
….What?
Goes with yesterdays 23″ C**T
A match made in…florescent tubes and regulators.
New Chinese cookbook…
101 Ways to Wok Your Dog.
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!!!
Sorry, Hammy, that one’s been out for a very long time.
It’s a new printing of 50 Ways to Cleave Your Rover…
*sees Hammy’s avatar*
*reads Hammy’s comment*
[COGNITIVE DISSONANCE]
Then my wok here is done.
There’s a comedian of Asiatic extraction here in Kiwi-land who used to have a bit in his standup about his ‘upcoming projects’, one of which was an Asian cooking show entitled “Lassie Come Home”.
Also, a home-made grill, made by some Sparky on CL? That sounds like a bad idea.
Add flammable gas, strike a match, what could go wrong?
Nonsense, I’m sure the disco-grok went through a vigorous testing and quality control process in … Sparky’s garage.
Well, the fact that at least part of his house is still standing should be a good sign, right?
Sparky: “Hey ya’ll!! Watch this (hold ma beeer)”
Buddy: “Dude! what’s *that*?”
Sparky: “It’s ma new handy dandy gas wok/disco/grill thingie. ah made it mahself”
Buddy: “is it safe?”
Sparky: “‘Course it is!! Here, light it” *hands friend a match*
Buddy: “Nah you go ahead, I’ll watch from over there…”
Bombdude — you don’t think BubaSparky comes from the south do you? Down here we like to make 55 gallon drums (don’t ask what was in them before) into grills and then when we fir (the only southern word I can spell) it up, say
But first we stick a whole (or half) pig in it!
That’s good eatin’.
:quick Google search:
They look like this;
http://www.440aw.afrc.af.mil/shared/media/photodb/web/100501-F-2539P-004.JPG
Exactly!!! Thanks SJ.
The church down the road from us had a big fundraiser last weekend, I drove by and saw all the smokers in the parking lot and got all excited, but they were selling barbeque chicken. I was so disappointed.
Well, ya know SJ, it *is* a little small for the South, but there are the occasional small webers people take to tailgate with, or for the quick wok down the road… And since it’s home made, maybe it was sparky’s first foray before he goes…
wait for it…
Whole hog… [groan]
In my previous life, we cut a 500lb bomb case in half, lengthwise, put a handle and hinges on it, and had a range grill… And nothing lights a fire faster than a little left over C4…
Tail fins and all.
Aww, now y’all’re makin’ me hungrah fer a pig-pickin’.
I’ve never been very good at pig-picking: the vines always get me and I can’t fit the pig in my vegetable basket.
BD, you sound just like my son…EOD.
That’s because we all speak the same language.
Like that t-shirt that reads “If you see me running, you ought to try and keep up”?
I’ve got my eye on a t-shirt that says “If zombies attack, I’m tripping you.”
A “How Do You Know When” thread was on another forum yesterday. I was passed HDTKW Zombies are attacking? My answer: When a bunch of people suddenly remember I’m their ‘friend’ and want inside my circled wagons.
Oh, yeah… the most common last words of a redneck: “Hey, Bubba, watch this!”
Other favorites –
“Hold m’beer a second…”
“The hell I need a seatbelt for?”
“Course it’s dead; look, I’ll prove it…”
“Hell, sherriff, your daughter sure don’t look thirteen…”
“Hey, what’s this do?”
“Bet me ten dollars I won’t do it.”
And:
“Nah, it’s safe, look -”
“Some duct tape’ll fix ‘er up.”
She was a fast machine
She kept her motor clean
She was the best damn wo-ok I had ever seen
She had the sightless eyes
Telling me no lies
Knockin’ me out with those American 36′ hi’s
Gassing more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there
‘Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you –
Grilled me all night long
I suspect you were grilled all night long after the cops caught you taking the poncho out for a midnight stroll.
I would be willing to bet $100 (obo) that this ad came from somewhere in the deep South. Lots of people down there make their own cooking apparatus… apparati? I don’t know what the plural of apparatus is. Or is it both singular and plural?
ANYWAY, I love how he spells regulator correctly and gives us height specifications but simultaneously has no apparent knowledge of how to use the spacebar.
The proper plural is, “Oh look, there is an apparatus, and it brought a friend.”
I particularly love the loosey-goosey
at the end.
Thank is…..WHAT?
or
is it Thank’s Disco BBQ Grill…?
Well, autocomplete turned “disk” into disco; what words was it before it was “thank’s” one wonders.
I’m just scared that the “hi” after “36 inches” is not a dimension but a self-description . . .
it’s MY thank (possessive) lol
Hey some of us live down here — are you implying something? SaraJean and Astro hand this for me.
Ummm… isn’t “handing” things more Taco’s territory?
Not implying. Stating a fact. We lived in Southern Louisiana for 12 years. Almost every single one of our friends had some kind of homemade cooking contraption. Mostly because cooking in bulk is not only accepted, but encouraged.
My husband has a cast iron dutch oven that he cooks jambalaya in – feeds 75 hungry men. There is no way that thing can cook on a stove. So he made his own burner.
And I had no idea a dutch oven was anything other than a torture method for your significant other…
Took much explaining to me, as I could not understand why you put all the smoldering coals on the comforter . . .
Uh-oh. Capn’s bedmate better beware the next time he says “Hey, wanna try an experiment?”
This is totally how they barbeque in the Firefly/Serenity ‘verse.
Shiny
Okay, now I kinda want it.
Reina’s back!
Only wouldn’t they have some sort of fusion for fuel? they wouldn’t use something so mundane as propane…
That would be Star Trek, they would have some kind of magic wand that would cook the food for you and a hologram to simulate a grill/wok/disco thingy.
In the Firefly ‘verse they would probably just steal the grill/wok/disco thing (and the fuel) but be unable to afford any real food to cook on it.
I wouldn’t know, I’m just a plain ol’ wokking girl….
Hey, some of us have looked at a cast-off disk from a harrow plow and thought about converting it into a “mongolian grill” a time or two.
(The limiting factor usually being that the stock gas burner stands only have the one burner, and not the three that would be just right.)
I HAVE one of those grills made from a disc harrow disc. It was made by one of my medieval blacksmith friends for events. The disc on mine, though, holds the charcoal or wood. It has an adjustable rack that goes above to hold whatever I’m heating.
Well, the essence of “mongolian” grilling is a flat disk places eccentrically over a heat source (or with adjustable heat beneath).
The disk needs to have a warm, a hot, and a very hot, zone so that you move the food into the correct area to cook it.
Makes for cool cooking as “theater” when done right.
Which is different from “mongolian bbq” by more than a bit.
I want some medieval friends too!*
*Pout
http://www.sca.org/geography/findsca.html
Here you go, Hammy. Lotsa busty wenches trussed into bodices, get to hit other boys with big sticks, it’s all you could want. Long as you don’t mind hanging out with a bunch of REAL NERDS, which obviously, you don’t. You’re here.
I want a chainsaw for a hand and a double barreled shotgun!
You might have a hard time finding a wench that can handle your boomstick.
Really? I’ve heard they-
Oh. Different W word.
Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.
For all your Wokeque needs.
Offer void in Utah.
Steampunk wok?
Punk (DIY) wok?
MacArthur Park…apropos to this post covered by Donna Summer in her disco diva years.
And wasn’t someone (mudsy?) talking about green icing the other day…
Nooooooooo. The only green I ever refer to are ice green pron dresses in size 6, 18, or 22.
Capn mentioned the green-iced cake I made and posted on Facebook :-p
Ah, so it was…yet again, a shining example of my scatter-shot memory at work.
Is there a list of FB names somewhere to “join the club” so to speak? Or are these postings going to the YSaC FB page and I am missing them?
Personally, I gave my facebook id away in a post long, long, long ago. Some of us are easier to find then others. Taco was the easiest for me to find.
Not really… There is a topic in the forum about it, but I’m too lazy to link to it right now. Once you find a few of us, it’s easier to find others :-p Also, I highly recommend sending a message with any friend request, saying who you are here 🙂
Bombdude, I’m JD Aeryth on FB. Send me a friend request and I’ll friend you.
Lola and EB and HamCan sent me friend requests yesterday, and I found Capn and Taco that way.
Here’s the topic from the fora –
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?page_id=3282&vasthtmlaction=viewtopic&t=30.0
Thanks Andie, did. There doesn’t seem to be a provision for sending a message along with a FR
There is–you do the friend request bit, and on the same popup where it asks if you want to put the new friend in a group, in the lower left corner there’s a thing that asks if you want to send a personal message… or something along those lines.
ok, I’m chalking up my stupidity today on this nasty cold…
Thanks EB… Some days, I need an “obvious” interpreter…
Hey, it can be worse. I use English, Pirate on f/b (for many reasons. too many to list). This means I sometimes have to open the mannikin f/b account to tell people, in English, which buttons to use.
Hey, and Bomb is a cool mustachioed kind of person!
With a snappy motorcyle and a reasonably muscular car, too.
That explains the friend request I just confirmed! 8) LOL Come on in, Astro, the FB water is fine!
I leave you now for a tedious and confusing day at work, but I am happy to see the line should be in sight most of the day, and no troll droppings spotted in the area. Or spotted the area.
Wanna take bets on the continued visibility of the line, Windy?
*peers around the Snark Lounge* Uh, not too bad. It seems a little scared, however.
You could also use it as a hot tub for the birds in winter…
Yes….sweet, unassuming, innocent birds who have no idea what ingredients are required in Cardinal Stew.
Overheard down by the river:
“What’s Cardinal taste like?”
“A lot like Robin.”
What’s Robin taste like?
Ask Batman.
**In related news, a search team has just found the body of one T.H.E. Line in the woods. He appears to have committed suicide.**
OMG Astro!!! Outta the mouths of babes… wait, no.
Andie, think back to when you were 15. Now add the internet. If that and Mr. Winkey is the worst Astro comes up with, there is hope for humanity yet.
I think you’re right, Christina. I love that the wunderkinds have all that pron and mindless junk available and they choose to hang out with us and snark. Perhaps that is why I am such a fan of Astro and Laurel. They make me feel good about the future. Awwwwww….
I saw a high school marching band on my way home from work today and thought of Astro and Laurel.
I saw some folk in Class of ’14 t-shirts and thought of NotMyName.
Saw some headline abot DCI and thought of Astro and our favorite Dalek
Penis. Other than that, I got nothin but an ear ache. Make of that what you will.
Um, you’re doing it wrong?
Snort.
Or *he’s* doing it wrong…
Props, Lola, I would have expected the first inappropriate interpretation to come from Hammy.
🙂
I like to keep people guessing. 8)
I guess… Professor Plum in the garage with the Commarific Disco Grill From The Future.
We may have to rename the Don’t Suck box to the Golden Lotus box, Or is that redundant?
Only to the erudite.
Aural sex?
I think the problem is you’re speeling it wrong.
What I C**T hear you?*
Is there a penis in your ear?
Put a penis in your ear… put a ripe penis right into your favorite ear.
PENIS-ON!
Apply directly
to the foreheadin the ear!I really don’t think that’s how a mindf**k works, but I could be wrong.
Well, according to the Drill Instructor in Full Metal Jacket, it was through a recently evacuated eyehole…
Oh… no, that was a skullf**k, not a mindf**k…
Hmm… Maybe Criss Angel knows?
Way to ruin one of my favourite songs, EB. Thanks. Now I need to scrub my brain again. *grabs brain-bleach and a loofa*
Ooh, that song from the old south:
“Aurally, Aurally, take it Aurally.
I can’t hear it when you shout,
my head’s between your knees.”
*This is a certified ‘not.a.penis’ statement.
Today on HamCan’s poetry corner…
Do not grill gentle into that good night,
Propane should burn sausage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the frying of the meat.
Though wise men at their BBQ know dark is right,
Because their foods had cooked no shortening they
Do not grill gentle into that good night.
Good men, they last gave by, frying how right
Their oil heat might have blanched a green bean,
Rage, rage against the frying of the meat.
Wild men who bought and drank the Bud light,
And learn, too late, the Glenlivet it on its way,
Do not grill gentle into that good night.
Brave men, near hearth, who grill while blind drunk
Blind eyes could haze like meatballs and be glazed,
Rage, rage against the frying of the meat
And you, my father, there on that lawn chair,
Cursing, bitching, now with your cheap beers, I pray.
Do not grill gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the frying of the meat
BWAHAHA… sounds like something out of Beowulf or The Tailgater’s Cookbook
Beowulf’s Tailgater Cookbook.
Chapter 1: Mead for Heroes
Chapter 2: Grilling Grendel
Chapter 3: Mother of a Party
Chapter 4: Geriatric Celebrations
Chapter 5: Dragon/Wulf Flambe
I give this one the Pew-litzer Prize.
Pepé Le Pew
***Shooting finger gun at HamCan
Pew! Pew! Pew!
Um, expelliarmus!
Sectumsempra!
Levicorpus!
Stupify!Sparkify!Make mine medium-rare…
Turning and turning on the widening patio
The wok cannot hear the griller;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
Sparky made this himself, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
Reluctantly crouched at the grilling line,
Spatulas pumping and thumping in time.
The spark igniter flashes, the flames go up,
Churning and burning, they yern for the ketchup.
They deftly flip and press the flank,
Fuel burning fast on an empty tank,
Reckless and wild they pour ‘beque sauce,
Their marinade is potent and secretly boss.
To tie together bits and pieces of this thread, I think John McCrea (the lead singer from CAKE) and The Shat would get along really well. Except a conversation between them might take a really long time, what with all the dramatic pauses and such.
On a related note, my friends and I tried to start a National Talk Like CAKE Day. It hasn’t been quite as popular as National Talk Like A Pirate Day. Yet.
I just performed this for the ostrimu. He was quite amused.
(Where “this” = EB’s Cake tribute.)
*sniff sniff* I think that’s the nicest thing any llama’s ever said to me…
Whose wok this is I think I know.
His garage is in the village, yo;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his meat grill up real slow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop with Sparky’s griller near
Between the driveway and garage
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of Sparky’s knife, his life to take.
The wok is lovely, dark, and deep,
And horsey’s lying in a heap,
Gon’ be a while before I sleep,
Gon’ be a while before I sleep.
Look, wok on stilts
It is homemade grill you say
I hate you Sparky
I’ve been wokking on the railroad,
all the live-long day.
I’ve been wokking on the railroad,
just to pass the time away!
…I can hear the chicken sizzlin’,
fried up so early in the morn
I can hear the chiken sizzlin’,
Someone get some corn.
Under the spreading basketball hoop-
the wokky griller stands…..
or,
Hark! What light through yonder window breaks – it is exploding wok, and the griller has disband.
or,
For want of a wok, a horse was lost.
“Here maw, hold m’beer”
:Sparkie bends over to light the burner with the duct taped hose going to the rusty propane tank.
*BOOM*
“Alas, poor Sparkie! I knew him, Llamanun*, a fellow of infinite
idiocy, of most excellent creeperificness. He hath bored me on his keyboard a
thousand times, and now how wrecksquisite in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.”
*May bees be upon her
This poetic post was so good it has lured me out of my latent lurking. (Apparently I’m in an alliteration mood tonight). Bravo.
Welcome out of the shadows and into the light.
Pull up an avatar and join the fray.
Spend no worry for wrong or right,
But roam and join into the play.
Really, truly, we almost never bite
Unless your candor doth dismay
Then to Attu hasten thee away!
You know I’ve been wanting to test out a new polyfluglebindingmer non-stick product and that sled looks like the perfect vehicle.
You would need to duct tape a trivet to your arse to ride it.
I read that as Tribble.
Such a funny mental image.
You would do that to keep from backing into Klingons…*
*Possible would also work for removing cling ons…
Wow, I missed all the best stuff yesterday….
Apologies, Nick Lowe
36,inches,hi
36,inches,grilled,I
36,inches,hi
This would be popular for rickshaw tailgate parties before table tennis matches in China.
I just keep reading the “hi” at the end of the first line as sort of an ADD-inspired greeting in the middle of the Shatner speech.
Well, hi to you, too, Disco Wok!
So glad I’m not the only one that did that… “Hi, gas!”
I don’t know why this came to mind, but I’m inflicting it on you just the same.
‘Twas grilling, and the slimy tongs
did gyre and gimble in the haze
All singy were the footlongs
And the grilled ears of maize
“Beware the disco wok, my son!
The coals that burn, the soggy match!
Beware the freezer burn, and shun
the fish you did not catch!”
He took his loin of pork in hand,
Long time the shank of pig he sought
So rested he with a beer pulled free
From the cooler he had brought
And, as in beery fumes he stood
The disco wok, with ribeyes aflame
A whiffing of some hickory wood
“‘Tis done soon!” he proclaimed.
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The steak knife went snicker-snack!
He killed it dead, and raised his head
And called, “Who wanted the rib rack?”
“You cooked this on the disco wok?
Bring it over here, and don’t be coy!
O, delicious meat! Yahoo! Hey, hey!”
He chortled in his joy
‘Twas grilling, and the slimy tongs
did gyre and gimble in the haze
All singy were the footlongs
And the grilled ears of maize
ADORES!!!!!!!
Discowokky……..
Might I add that this IS my favourite poem when it’s original form, and the wokked up version just makes it even better.
Ok, elebenty internets: “wokked up” is going in the list of expletive expressions.
Multitudinous doors, MindField!
Awesome! We have a winner!
This. This is why I love this site. Insanely well read and witty!
Come to YSaC for the epic poetry – stay for the subtle innuendo and penis jokes.
Or mix and match, whatever.
I came for the subtle jokes but stayed for the epic penis.
Or something.
Why, thank you, I think I will. The brain bleach jacuzzi looks particularly inviting.
I was going to say something about the subtle penis, but you folks don’t really work that way, do you.
Or for the big red neon C**T!
too much?
Sj, that’s no way to refer to the men of YSAC.
Funny you should say that, as I’m grabbing my loin of pork right now! All I need now is a wok…
I love the way you guys can quote Shakespeare one sentence (or reinvent the Jabberwocky XD) and then obliderate the line the next–but in a clever and ingenious way. It’s smart dumb humour!
I fear I will never outgrow bathroom or body part humor. No matter how many degrees I get or how old I grow.
Well, as you get older, your sense of humor will probably perk up to compensate for other things sagging.
Also, we’re reading Shakespeare in English right now. I think Willy’s plays and penis jokes overlap quite a bit.
Yes, Shakespearean humour could get a bit crude in order to appeal to the lower classes* but hey, it’s funny!
*So my ninth grade English teacher said–we all know crude humour appeals to pretty much everyone at least some of the time.
Well, part of that is just how much popular expression is in lines culled out of WS’s plays.
You only need a sense of the rhythm/meter, and a decent memory, and a decent vocabulary, and such things flow.
Or, one of the voices in your head just yodels out the key line, and the rest follows like ducklings pekinese.
The world being a synchronous sort of place, one of my non-YSaC correspondents sent along a missive from an engineer who helped move a 6000# stove. The engineer adapted the “Band of Brothers” soliloquy from Henry V, Act IV, Scene 3 to the task. Hilarity ensued.
*snerk*
I Wok the Loin
By, Jonny Chuck Cash
I keep a close watch on this chuck of mine
I keep my rib eyes rare all the time
I keep the chips out, and the pork rinds
Because you’re prime, I wok the loin
I find it very, very easy to cook on you
I make some kabobs when each day is through
Yes, I’ll commit to BBQ for two
Because you’re prime, I wok the loin
As sure as the roast is pork and beer is light
I keep heat on the grill both day and night
And tastiness I’ve known proves that it’s right
Because you’re prime, I wok the loin
I’ve got a way to baste you on both sides
You give me cause to love fillet mignon
From you I’d even try lamb fries on the side
Because you’re prime, I wok the loin
I keep a close watch on this chuck of mine
I keep my rib eyes rare all the time
I keep the chips out, and the pork rinds
Because you’re prime, I wok the loin
Once again, I am smitten with Hamcan and his way with words. Big crush.
But how far does it transmit??? These things matter!
[corey]Considering there’s no feed horn, wave guide, BUC or LNB probably not very far[/corey]
It’s from the future! In the future, dish transmitters won’t need no steenking… what you said.
You need to know these things if you expect to be considered for the, orbiting cave of technological wonders junior space cadet position.
Cool! Is there a uniform?
***Furiously studying communications thingies
There is, Andie!
….Yours is red, though.
Is that a position under you, Hammy?
Umm, well there are some “costumes” involved…
But you do get to play with the tractor beam on weekends!
Hi, Graham! I’m sure you could pick them up in England, if that’s what you’re asking.
[lazy and bad phone corey] Maybe Sparky used a touch screen phone to write this ad and he kept hitting the , instead of the spacebar (which I often do on my touchscreen when texting) and just was too lazy to fix it (which I often am) [/corey]
Yes, I’m a lazy texter, but I text in full words and sentences.
in Shatnerese, apparently 😉
Do ……….. you ……….. know ………. howhardit is….. to learn ………. Shat .. ner.. ese?
Do you know how hard it is to Hear Shatnerese?
Innana, that’s what makes it so hard to learn.
Chinese, Japanese, Shatnerese, Look at these! (*)(*)
*That is all*
Looks like someone had a “procedure” done.
perky!
So Hammy, did you buy the wok or does the orbiting cave have time travel capabilities? Because I feel like I’ve been transported back to the mid-nineties with that ASCII pr0n you have going on.
Oh and, seeing as we have many Dunkin’ Donuts ’round these parts, I think you meant:
( * )( * )
Silly Christina! You can’t BBQ in space, all the meat just kinda floats around and gets everything all sticky…*
*What?
Is a disco in your grill? Well, yes, I’d say.
Will it sell, or must you give it away?
Craigslist will help, is my prediction.
It’s the way that you must go.
Write your ad with firm conviction.
Write like a pro: your grill will go.
Comma, comma, comma, comma, chameleon,
A disco grill is quite a thrill.
Dot the phrase with commas, it’ll add some psychodramas
To the line, and look so fine!
Mount a saucer on a tripod, and I’ll say
No tanks to you; it’s homemade too.
Barbequeing’s for the past, now try a stirfry.
Grill o’ my dreams, it sears and steams.
Comma, comma, comma, comma, chameleon,
A disco grill is quite a thrill.
Dot the phrase with commas, it’ll add some psychodramas
To the line, and look so fine!
Awesome! Now Andie can blame someone else for the earworm from hell.
I would have thought that a home,made,disco,grill,thingy would have been the muse for so much poetry and lyricism.
Who am I kidding? This is YSaC, and this is why I love you guys!
I seem to be suffering the same random disappearance of negatives that affected kelli this weekend.
Are you positive?
My blood type is B+. T’was quite the irony in my gothic youth. 😀
This just in: HamCan apparently designed a hotel in Vegas! Sounds like the perfect place to hold our YSaC convention next summer!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1315978/Las-Vegas-hotel-death-ray-leaves-guests-severe-burns.html
“But then I noticed that it was just Sparky grilling poolside on his barbecue,disco,grill,from,the,future, and the Sparkmeister had just set the propane to ‘incinerate’.”
Alternatively:
And Lo! Jesus appeared unto me and said, “Don’t come whinin’ to me about it. Dad gave you bozos the ozone layer for a reason. You couldn’t be bothered stoppin’ your homies from melting it, that’s your problem. And now, if you don’t mind, I got tickets for Blue Man Group.”
“IN-CIN-ERATE”?
Isn’t that a Dahlek BBQ setting?
[Angry old lady rant] Typical. Everything’s bigger in Vegas, including the stupidity of a) the people who built the place (sunlight does what now?) and b) the guests (“ow, this hurts. Oh well, better sit back and hope it goes away soon”). Pack of loony numpties in the middle of the Gods-forsaken desert!! [/angry old lady rant]
Would you guys like in on some the the HOT! action at my hotel/casino?
I’ve never heard of a some the the 🙂
It’s so HOT it has an echo!
😛
Yeah, I’m hot 😉
Ok, having just grilled a pimento cheese sammitch, it has occured to me that Robert the Spark may not know the term “wok” and has always called that pan the xBiL left behind a “disco.”
Bob Spark might not understand that there was a sad musical genre with the same name, too. “Disco is dead” could mean the gas bottle is empty at his garage.
Makes a person wonder what Robbie thinks when he hears Emilio Largo’s boat is called the “Disco Volante” (flying saucer <G>).
Gonna warch me sum’mor ’em Mythbustern now, y’hear?
I don’t know if anyone is still up…(stupid West Coast timezone) but does anyone know if Dan the Ostrimu is a professor, too? Drmk is (right?), but is he?
West coast here too (At least when I’m not in geostationary orbit in my cave of technological wonders) I think Andie is my neighbor.
I think Dan is…
I’m in Arizona where we have our own special time zone. Currently we’re the same as you West Coasters, but we’ll be back to being the same as Mountainers as soon as DST ends.
I guess I should clarify and say that I’m one of them pesky Mountainers, but I’m a night owl Mountainer, which makes it worse for East Coasters.
Hi, pesky Mountainer! We’re clock neighbors :-p
I’m on the South Coast of the North Island. Actually a bit West in terms of the coast of the harbour. Either way, I’m from the future for most people. 🙂
I believed both halves of the Llamu* were in academia, but it’s entirely possible I have made that up based on a fervent hope – academia would be way more awesomer with people like them in charge of
warpingshaping the next generation of professionals.*bees be upon them.
Any chance you could email me the winning lotto numbers?
Soz Hammy, I can’t seem to teach my email client to translate into Americana – every time I try it ends up wobblified by catmath and comes out looking like “elebenty brazillion tuna fish sammiches, one red table (for sale for free) and a bunch more, too many to list”. Which is fun, but not lottery-moneys-grabbing. 🙁
Just add a few more cuss words and it’ll all make sense, why there was one for sale just yesterday…
drmk is a university professor; Dan is also in academia, but is responsible for the minds of younger folk.
I may not be younger than Dan, but I would like someone to be responsible for my mind, please. It needs constant watching and I’m tired of this responsibility. I can pay $.10 per minute in Canadian dollars.
If I may – [corey] In south Texas/Northern Mexico, this style of cooking is called “discado” and the disk is, as someone mentioned up thread, often made out of old farm implements. I’ve actually had “discado” which basically involves stir-frying all kinds of meat, but most importantly, bacon.[/corey]
I have no explanation for the commas, however.
Does Ricky Discado sing Shish kaBabaloo?
Telca is such an under-appreciated name
ratwoman, I am proud to be able to present you with your YSaC card (good for elebenty interenets, free!) and your Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Mongolia!
I feel so proud.
Ok, is it bad that I looked up the Mongolian for Good Night (Saikhan untaarai)?
I was …elsewhere… and got back late last night. (Growing up corey) I didn’t know exactly what that thing was, especially the disco part, but I flashed back to childhood, and our trips to Yellowstone every summer. Along the way, amid the signs for “Wall Drug” were advertisements for “Reptile Gardens”. We stopped in and took a look. Amid the quite impressive collection of reptiles and birds, there was a row of cages with coin slots under them. “See the rabbit dance!” emblazoned on the top of the cage. There was a rabbit, I had a quarter, and plugged it in. There was a humming noise, and that thing started to hop and skip and thrash in that little cage. It was also making the most ungodly screeching sound ever. Scared the crap out of me, and I ran to get my Dad. He came over, took one look at what was going on, and promptly unplugged every single one of them. Then he and the manager had a couple of words, none of which were Happy Birthday. They then went into the office and shut the door. We left soon after that, and on the return trip, we went back and the cages were gone. He still won’t tell me what he said to that guy. (/Dad’s my hero.)
Oh, dear gods. YOur dad is my hero too. My heart stopped beating there. Nightmares tonight.
Wow. That’s horrifying. And your dad certainly is a hero.
SmedleyDad for president! If he is still with us, tell him he is a god and he has (at least) 3 fangirls.
Fozzy Bear does disco….’wokka, wokka, wokka’.
*sorry, I was busted yesterday… no more internets at work*
Ohnoes! So sorry to hear it, LL.
No worries… Starting next week, i’m going to be off work for 6 weeks for surgery… as soon as the anesthesia wears off, y’all will be hearing from me – constantly 😉 and I’m thinking it’s time to give in and get a cell phone with wireless internet access. (I’ve been a lot behind the technology eight-ball, my current phone is 8 years old and doesn’t even send texts… : oh well: )
My phone is only 4 years old, it sends texts and takes pictures, but it’s just a flip phone with no keyboard or anything.
I hope the surgery goes well and feel free to come back before the drugs wear off, because that will be way more entertaining for the rest of us. 🙂
It’s true–we’ve had much evidence of that, too many to list :-p
Fit to stir-fry, you, my friend Beowulf
And for bar-be-que you have sought us.
Your father Smedley by welding began the greatest feast, a fit device;
A most shining kadhai mounted on three struts
He spoke of Grendel, often as he fried, he who bravely
slayed the depised torturer of rabbits, Heatholaf of the Reptylfings
who thereafter dwelt in misery in Niflheim and suffered, shamed
Your father was a noble and brave man, and honest
All Laprine at his passing wept and the men and women of the mead hall
sweet songs sang of him over the sound of the swelling propane tank, the Honor-Scyldings;
at that time I had just began to be the bar-be-que king of the Danes
and in my youth I held the precious kingdom in this driveway.
Oh, Otney! That’s wonderful!
He’s a living legend, Otney. Still a wondrous ode, though.
Is this person’s spacebar broken, or does Craigslist now require submissions in .csv format?