YSaC, Vol. 785: Either Mrs. Who OR Dr. Who should adopt this dog!
Cocker Spaniels in need of a new home
We are looking to find a home for two wonderful cocker spaniels. My Mother recentley passed away and now we need homes for her dogs. The male is Buck and he is 8 years old white and tan. He is papered and very sweet but has not been nutered. The female is the black one and she is 4 years old, she too will need to be spayed but she dose have her papers. Please call if you would like to meet them. They do like kids, cats and lots of attention. Would make a perfect companion dog. We would like to keep them toghether, but if need be they can be split up.
Guess what? It’s a dog that comes with its own tesseract! However, I suspect they’ll have trouble getting rid of it. I mean, if a regular old dog can do that whole “Incredible Journey” thing when left to its own devices, imagine how hard it would be to lose a dog that can warp space and time to return to its home!
Thanks for the link, Stephanie!
The ad says that buck is papered. I could tell that just by looking at the picture since his paper is taped to the picture of the nameless bitch.
It’s Paul Atreides cocker spaniel. The Gravy Train must flow.
Oh my dog!
I like to put a lot of spice in my gravy.
The sleeper must Awaken! (even if such dogs are supposed to lie!)
You mean that NEITHER of those two dogs have been fixed?
I believe I know how Mom died— EXHAUSTION based on a combination of trying to keep them apart and whelping puppies.
If it ain’t house broke, don’t fix it.
Obviously you haven’t seen Pet Hoarders.
I boycotted Animal Planet in perpetuity when they released the show “Lost Tapes.”
Oh yes. How could I forget. You’ve spoken of this previously.
I haven’t seen Pet Hoarders, but someone in our Department comments on it incessantly on her Facebook status. It’s like I don’t even have to watch it.
I boycotted Fox News* when they released the “Glenn Beck” show.
*this is totally a big fat lie! I have always had Fox News on parental block.
I’ve got both CNN and Fox News blocked because of Glenn Beck*.
*Also not true, they were blocked long before the Beckster was on the scene.
CNN was the only channel aired in English in Paris. I still didn’t watch it.
Did you watch German Mtv? German Mtv was the best station we had in Paris.
I don’t remember seeing anything that looked like MTV, German or otherwise. We watched a lot of Law and Order (in its various incarnations), dubbed in French, and some French game shows.
That poor nameless female dog …
BuckJoe the Space-Warping Dog is twice her size.I see that the buck stops here.
To the credit of the poster, (s)he didn’t ask for a rehoming fee.
And, they spelt both cocker and spaniel correctly, nit just in the title, but in the body text as well.
They’re probably competition dogs – show dogs are not fixed, that way they can breed more champions. Those people are giving away a potential goldmine in prizes and sponsorships.
Never mind the tesseract, what about the enormous yellow tongue?
I’m trying to convince myself that Joe’s* just got a baguette in his mouth.
*I’ve decided to re-name Buck. I’m calling him Joe now. What would you do if he sang out of tune?
I’d be surprised if he could sing at all with that baguette in his mouth.
Well I certainly wouldn’t stand up and walk out on him. Out of tune or not…a singing dog? I’d be rich!
Hello, my baby; hello, my honey; hello, my ragtime gaaaaal…
A man in Florida was reading the paper. In it he saw an ad for a talking dog for $20. The address was close to him so he jumped in his car and went to the address. He knocks on the door and a short bald man answers the door.
The guy says, ”You have an ad in the paper for a talking dog?”
The bald guy says “Yup. He’s in his room. Down the hall first left.” So the guy walks down the hall and takes a left into a bedroom. There lying on the bed is a dog.
The dog turns to the guy and says, “Hey. What’s up?”
The guy is shocked.
He manages to say “You are a talking dog! How did you end up here in Florida?”
“Well,” The dog says “I started in New York training seeing eye dogs for the blind. Then September 11th happened and I went to ground zero to try and find survivors. After a few days of searching for survivors I helped find bodies. After that I felt very patriotic so I joined the Army. I was sent to Iraq where I ran medical supplies to soldiers all over Iraq. I was there for two years and was discharged honorably. I came back to the states and wanted to go to work at Disney World here in Florida. I worked there for six months and the union told me I had to wear a costume. Since I was a talking dog I didn’t think I needed to. One thing led to another and I just quit and decided to retire here in sunny Florida.”
The guy says, “Wait here.”
He goes out to talk to the short bald guy and says, “Hey man! You have an actual talking dog in there. Why are you selling him for only $20?!?”
The guy looks up at him and says, “Because he’s a big fat liar.”
Hello, my baby; hello, my honey; hello, my ragtime gaaaaal…
Wow, Isaac, that’s a really looney tune.Seems like something from a time capsule…
I heard that sheep are liars too…
What?
That’s my Da-a-ad.
Sure, the dog can sing, but can he bust terpsichorean moves?
A man walked into a talent agency and presented his talking dog. The manager of the agency looked them up and down, then said, “Okay, let’s hear him talk.”
The man told the dog to sit, and then asked, “What’s on top of the house?”
The dog said. “Roof!” and wagged his tail.
“Who was the best baseball player of all time?”
“Ruth!” replied the dog.
The manager stopped the man, and said,”Beat it, wise guy!”
Out on the street, the dog looked up at the man, and sighed. “Maybe I should have said Mantle?”
“What grows on a tree?”
“Bark!”
🙂
Thanks, EB! I could not remember the third line, so I just left it out.
I’m thinking this poor dog is one of the many sufferers of Banana chin. Such a sad malady. You’re sitting there minding your own business, then boom, you have an appealing chin.
You know, the Banana chin isn’t really all that attractive.
Ooooohhhh… I see what you did there…. 😉
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, Banana Chin!
Put a banana-chin in your ear (A banana in my ear?)
Put a ripe banana-chin right into your favorite ear!
Ping Pong Ping Pong Ping Pong Banana Chin!
It’s a real live momma and poppa chin,
a brother and sister and doggy’s chin,
a grampa chin, and a gramma chin too, oh yeah!
That’s more Chins then a Chinese phone book…
[True story] I worked with a guy named Tony Chin, I once asked him if his mother could have named him after and more body parts[/True story]
::ring ring ring::
Call for Hammy—Confucius wants to speak with you on Line #2.
Me: “Hello”
Me: “Uh, huh I see”
*click*
Confucius say, “Man with wood who go through airport turnstile sideways, going to Bangkok”
Confucius say, “Baseball is wrong (pronounced WONG). Man with four balls cannot walk!”
Confucius say, “Ham in can is not kosher. Also causes cramps and bloating.”
Confucius say, “Find old man in dark, not hard!”
Ham, finding an old man in the dark is not difficult? Or…..
Is it because it is easy – just look for the tent?
*blushes profusely, rushes off for penance*
Wait…I thought they only did that with young boys in your church…
Also say: “Woman run faster with dress up than Man do with pants down.”
Thanks, EB. Please go directly to Candy Mountain to claim your “reward” for getting that song stuck in my head. :p
O:-D
I heard Jay Leno was having a telethon to promote this disease…
Why would anyone want to spread this disease around?
Also say, “Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
I thought it was a stylin’ beard, since obviously he’s a wizard dog.
Ya, I could always use a few more bitches around the house. But I refuse to snark on this post, their mom bit the bullet!
If I were to say something though…
Think about it like this. Dogs are said to emulate & often exude the emotional characteristics of their owners. That being said, a piece of her dead mother is still very alive in those animals. Their temperament, behavior, and vigor are controlled by the other side fools!
Bitches…
Candorman–please, pretty please — can sometime you post something without gratuitous insults? Wordplay, allusion, and puns are truly more amusing.
Thanks,
I.
Hi Inna, your shoulder knees have been missed around here.
Aww, that’s so …sweet…I think.
It’s as sweet as a letter of affection from your stalker.
*reads it*
Wow, I’m really creepy today.
Speaking of missing, where is Lola?
Depressy has no idea.
I’ve been wondering that too. I haven’t even
stalkedseen her much on Facebook.Ah, Bridgete! If I can’t get a Lola-fix, Bridgete is just as nice!
Aw, thanks! ♥
She mentioned something about house guests a while back. Either she’s busy or Depressy eated her.
This just in: Lola has been visiting relatives of a close, parental sort, one of whom has recently had organic parts replaced with mechanical devices. She will return soon. Soon.
Yeah, candor, what Innana said. kthxbai!
I wish I had such mad Photoshop skilz…
It’s utterly flawless! You can almost believe that the giant yellowed-tongued dog is right there beside the other one!
I gotta go, I’m buying some oceanfront property in Arizona this morning.
I still don’t understand why they felt the need to Photoshop JoeBuck into the picture in the first place. Why not just post multiple pictures?
Oh, right, I forgot. CL posters aren’t logical like that.
Have you forgotten how much CL charges for multiple photos in a listing?
No phoolin’ Sparqi an elebentith time! Nosiree!
So Sparq pulled a fast one on ’em, hah!
like going to Fudruckers and not paying extry for cheese, and sneakin’ the nacho cheese on the burger when theys not lookin’ an’ all . . .
The nacho cheese is better anyways.
*P.S. I always thought I was clever for doing that. Now I guess I’m just a conformist. =(
Yeah, well, there are those who think they are pulling a fast on on Fuds’s by getting a “plain” Burger then using the salad bar . . .
O the misjays of the Sparqa out there . . .
Yes, they’re so inseparable that you couldn’t even get the two of them together for what is likely the photo-op of their lifetime.
Perhaps Joe Buck there is holding what’s left of Mother in his mouth?
The Black One stares helplessly at the camera, fearing for her very life…
Cocker Spaniels in need of a new home
*Anagram fun*
Freon Weed Spanish Moonie Necklace (Cool pot for cult hippies)
Whence One Sparkie Fold Some Canine (Explains the picture!)
Some Candle Wise Pinko Hefner Canoe (Commie peruses Playboy by the light of a flame)
Nickname Deface Hole In One Prowess (Tiger is Not.A.Lion anymore)
Porcine Nose Eskimo Fan Dance Wheel (Now that’s entertainment!)
Woe, Pain Does Click Me Near Fens’ Hone
Apparently it’s quite uncomfortable near the sharpening center in the Fens.
Bad photoshop. Dogs. Where have I seen this bef..
ALL HAIL HYPNODOGS…FROM THE FUTURE!!!!!
Not only do they have hypno powers but the black ones can levitate things.
I just love the little puppy avatar!
It’s a TRAP!
Innana, if Hammy shows you his puppy, DO NOT RUB IT’S TUMMY!
You have been warned.
The one that can levitate must be called Chriss Angel Spaniel.
BuckJoe hasn’t been nutered? I think the problem might be that he needs to be de-nut’ered, no?
Sadly, even having spent a good 6 years as a Vet Tech, I didn’t notice the misspelling.
Granted, my spelling prowess will probably one day grant me a spot on YSaC so it’s understandable that I wouldn’t have noticed.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got some French Prudential furniture I need to get rid of.
When he gets a bit gassy, they call him a Fluffernut’er.
I’m glad they’re willing to split them up, because I only really need a head, a back leg, and a couple of internal organs for the Frankendog I’m working on, and I’d hate for the other pieces to go to waste.
Two people approached the Emperor with a dog. Each claimed to be it’s owner and wanted the emperor to decide who would get the dog.
The clever Emperor said to the owners of the Dog, “Since neither of you can agree on who the true owner is, I will simply divide the dog into two equal portions so that you may each have half.”
Much to the chagrin of the Emperor, both owners were fine with the plan and happily divided up the dog between them. The Emperor swore to never use Solomon as an example of brilliant leadership again.
The end.
*Points*
Look Izzy, apostrophe misuse!
I’m not falling for that one. If I get all pedantic I’m likely to get pfffted.
pffffft!
There, I got that out of the way for you.
For a minute there I thought you were talking about The Emperor…I’m tired, obviously.
Well, it does say that the two cocker spaniels would make a, as in one, perfect companion dog. So yeah, just grab the good parts from each.
(FrankenWeenie, anyone?)
[cocker corey] It seems to be something about owners of cocker spaniels that they seem to always have more than one.
So there may be some spanielmath at work here. You need the ground-based black one so that the levitating space-time navigating one knows where to home in on.
So, with two dogs, and one romping dimensionalites after Squirrels! Ooh Woodchuck! Wait izzat a blue jay? which is clearly going to tire the other dog out, you wind up with a net one dog.
But, I’m not a crazy spaniel lady (and the one I know no longer toalks to me) so that’s naught but surmise on my part.
[/corey]
My avatar objects to the term “crazy spaniel lady.”
I’m a crazy cocker lady. No, that’s not right.
I’ve got a crazy cock-er, no that’s not right either.
I got two of them little dogs that are like Lady in “Lady and the Tramp”, and Capn is partially right. Many folks do seem to have two Cocker Spaniels. I think the reason is that Cockers do not believe they are dogs, but that they are actually a higher life form. If you only have one, they will act completely crazy, just so they can laugh at you. When you have two, they are able to talk to each other and develop a sense of empathy for their “owner”.
Plus, two keep your feet a great deal warmer in the winter.
Well, I think, technically, you get the “crazy” label at three CS.
Three dogs or three cockers? I don’t want to be the crazy cockadore* lady.
*I think I’ll switch to spaniadore, it makes her sound more continental.
I have three animals… but I have three people in my house, so it’s OK. (To me, once you get more animals than humans, you start veering towards weird… WINDROSE! :-p Also, fish and hamsters and the like don’t count as much)
Well, the number clearly has to be flexible–how many felines required to become “crazy cat lady”?
If a person lived alone, and decided their two cockers needed more company, and got “them” another cocker spaniel to “play with”; that’s kind of an indicator to me.
EB, I was weird long before I got my first bird! 8p
I’m having a hard time snarking about cute puppies. Yes, even Bananna Mouth Baguette Boy is adorable. I’ll be back after work has made me more cynical.
OT: Whew!! My work just blocked a whole bunch of sites (Amazon and Children’s Place as “Shopping”, youtube as “Streaming/MP3”, and xkcd for “Humor/Jokes”) but thankfully didn’t block here! I am OK with YSaC flying juuuuuuuust under the radar 😀 They also are taking away the internal IM program, which is monumentally stupid, because my department uses it for work ALL THE TIME…. Email just isn’t the same.
OT – a break in the snarkfest, yes it’s time for a visit from Debbie Downer…
I looked at my windshield this morning, only to realize my car’s inspection ran out last month!
So, I go to the place down the street from work and get my car inspected.
It passes, no problem.
I get into the car, look at the sticker in the corner of my windshield, and let out an audible gasp to accompany the sudden feeling of being punched in the stomach.
It says 09/11…and I have to look at that for a year.
Godspeed those we lost, those who fight, and those who have done their duty and come home.
End OT from Debbie Downer
Go forth and snark y’all…quick…
My debit card expires* in September of 2011. I’ve been looking at that for several years.
I have to get my car inspected this month too. But mine will just have a big 09 in the middle, and then 2011 down the side. Not so bad.
*I figured it was safe to say this because no one can do much with just the expiration date.
*hacks into Bridgete’s debit card and eats all of her baguettes*
Nooo! Not my baguettes!
I’d better move my croissants to my other account…
I heard you have a Brazzilion.
Windrose has y’all beat. Which reminds me. Do try to stop in tomorrow and wish her a happy birthday.
Oh, yes, of course.
:attaches sticky-note reminder to forehead:
Check!
But did you reverse-write it, so you can read the note in the mirror?
*sniff sniff* You remembered! 8) I might not get in much tomorrow, as I am throwing myself a party at a park where I spent lots of time as a wee chick. But only one person at work mentioned my birthday, and that was at the end of the day. You folks make me smile more than I can tell you!
It would be highly ungracious of us to forget your birthday considering all that you do!
We’ll leave your presents on the red table so you can open them on Sunday. 😀
I usually lurk as I tend to get on here after all the snark has been snarked and everyone’s gone to bed but I have a large collection of Adores that I like to dole out. For the last 3 days I can’t adore anything from my iPhone on the mobile site; I keep getting an error message :(. Is anyone else having this issue or is it on my end? I really miss that particular interactive aspect of this site. I may not have Innana’s shoulder knees, Silva’s artistic awesomeosity (totally a word), or any Mexican cuisine-based Mmagic but I can “+1” with the best of them.
You can have a puppy costume if you want.
What?
Don’t touch the puppy costume belly unless Hammy can PROVE it was cleaned and sterilized!
No problem, I have a certificate of serialization from my doctor…
What?
Is that vintage serialization, Hammy?
And if you have both sides, is it stereolization?
Well, not that vintage…
(Stupid spell checker, funny that i was just this morning writing some I/O documents for an aircraft serial bus…)
Wait, you actually want details on Ham’s sprinkling?
Okay, I just gave this a door from my iPhone, and it’s fine. This sounds a lot like the problem most of us have with our browsers, we need to clear the cache every so often to get rid of the error message (I have to do it about once a week). But I don’t know how to clear the cache on the iPhone. If you can find a way to do that, that might fix it. 🙂
Edit: Well, that was easy to find. Go to settings, then Safari, and there’s a list of three options: clear history; clear cookies; clear cache. Give it a try!
Thank you so much, Bridgete! I should have guessed that was the culprit. I forgot about my cache and cookies. And my cache of cookies…’scuse me a moment, please…(*om nom nom*)
LaKitta, now you’ve just whetted our appetite for more, and we’re all hoping you’ll stick around and comment!
Yeah, I was having the same issue so I cleared me cookies, cache, and then it worked.
Aaaarrrr, it’s a pirate-CJ!
I know where a pirate can get a
in which to clear said cookies.
EB…arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..Pirate Festival in my town next month…I’m practicing, matey!
19th is “Talk Like A Pirate Day”
I was really really hoping that MiniEB would be born on the 19th,which was 3 days before his due date. Unfortunately, the little booger refused to cooperate. Not the last time that’s happened, either…
Hi LaKitta! Please join the snark! Some of us stay up well past our bedtimes and it’s also nice to have fresh snark to read over breakfast while waiting for the new post to go up.
The black dog’s name is Fluffy Jor-El and she’s just trapped one of the Krypton super villains, General Buck Zod in the Phantom Zone…
I’ll have what Hammy’s smoking.
What? you don’t remember Superman 2 where Jor-El traps General Zod and sidekicks in the phantom zone? (rectangle looking black shiny thing that went spinning off into space)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V-ez-YI_fA
Go to about 2:20
Doesn’t it look a tad like the dog in the box?
Oh yeah….I can see it now and I do remember it. I was checking out 4:20 as well.
Is Tad the name of the dog in the box?
😉
I think he was smoking the tie-dye Kryptonite powder.
You snort that, you smoke the Kryptonite crack blocks.
And I dunno, but I swear that Joe Cocker in the box is older than 8 years old.
That picture looks like it was taken in 1972 with a zip camera. He may have been 8 when he died in 1975. Hence, the inability for Sparky-san to be able to get a pic with both dogs present.
It may very well be a TRAP!
You may enjoy this:
Superman and his Not.A.Wig
Kneel before Buck Zod!
I see your puppy, and raise you two…
I see your two puppies, and raise you the dog from The Exorcism.* Don’t stare into it’s eyes.
*I’ve never seen The Exorcism, so I don’t know if there is a dog, but I don’t really care. Just roll with it, people.
I’ll see your two puppies and raise it to three, one chewed tennis ball and a cache of half chewed sticks.
One of my goofy dogs carries around a 5 pound exercise weight. Not bad until she decides to toss it up in the air so she can pounce on it when it lands. So I’ll call on your tennis ball and sticks….
Aww, they’re getting exercise! Mine only seem to play catch and toss with toads. I would think that after the 400th time the toads sprayed toad funk in their mouths they would have figured out it was a bad idea, but alas, no.
I have trained mine to walk/run on the treadmill, good for those rainy winter days when a walk is not possible. They think the treadmill is the bestest thing ever and go stand on it and look at me until I turn it on for them. One of them figured out that if he stopped suddenly it would launch him across the room, this is great fun and the other dogs wait to pounce as he sails by.*
*Dogs are retarded, tis true, but they are entertaining!
I win!
http://www.samhaincardigans.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_itemId=4513
Okay fine, you win.
And now I have “Too Many Puppies” stuck in my head…again.
OK, I’ll give you this hand. Between the treadmill doggy launch and the completely unfair mommy/puppy picture, there is no contest.
It is a TRAP!
Does the spaniel COME with the tessaract? Or can you purchase them separately? Seriously, I could use a new method of transportation, seeing as you aren’t allowed to apparate/teleport onto school grounds, and flying through the air is getting old–I always get bugs on my eyestalk.
Thought I’d share… I put this up on facebook, but this is the public link for those that aren’t yet my friends (also, if you want, friend me 🙂 Just send a message letting me know who you are here…)
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=41377112&l=aefb8e962d&id=17806536
We have Sparklette trucks all over here, they are bedazzled with thousands of giant blue sequins. Don’t know whose bright idea that was but they sure are purdy in the sun.*
*For the first two or three nanoseconds before you go permanently blind.
Hey, who wants to hear more about my life? Great. Well, about an hour ago, Mr called me while I was at my friends house, saying that he flicked a thorn off his bike tire and into his eye, and he might need to go to the ER! Now, he has never been a patient at the ER in hiis entire life, so this was a big deal… I tried to rinse it, but that made it worse, so we went to Urgent Care… which sent us to the ER because the thorn is embedded in his cornea. Welp… there goes our Friday night!
Eek!
EB, I am so sorry to hear that! Is it all better now? Will he still be able to play the piano? Will Mini-EB get a sister or a puppy?
Owie! I’m so sorry EB! And Friday night is the worst night to end up in a hospital! I hope you don’t have a long wait and that Mr. EB makes a speedy recovery!
Happy,Happy,Happy,Happy,Birthday Windrose (f 1:16 early by the clock, but dead on in MPT)
Thanks, Cap’n! MPT rules, and is always acceptable.
This is a great month for Birthdays! Of course, we missed Lara’s on the 5th and KYouell on the 8th (Bummer!) But I share tomorrow with Chronologically Gifted, who hasn’t been here in a long time! Isaac has a birthday on the 15th, and if Fireman Steve-O still posted, we’d wish him happy on the 16th. Then one more YSaC regular has a birthday on the 24th. Can you guess who? MandaB and anyone she is related to are not allowed to guess. Oh! What a give-away!
Mudsey, you look so at home there in the box, so natural with the shroud. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Banana Republic!