YSaC, Vol. 782: Adventures in babysetting.
Baby setting
stay at home mother would love to watch your kids. perver day but will do evenings any age. reply to email thank you
Ah, the lost art of baby setting. These days people think they can just put their baby down anywhere and it will do. That’s what’s wrong with society these days — people don’t take the time to do things the right way.
I might avoid letting this person set my baby during the day, though. That sounds a bit scary. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to my precious baby. Maybe I should keep looking. There must be better childcare options on Craigslist, right?
~3 grave yard openings ~
I am listed with DHS to provide care for 3 children! I have passed a background check. I have CPR ,FIRST AID,and a food handlers card. I have a safe loving home and look forward to meeting you and your kiddos!
Huh. I’m thinking she might want to take her CPR certification again.
Babysitting profemost compatbales available
Looking for a babmost awesome I can help . We are a quality babysitting business in operation for for the last 11 years. We get several of flexible, porfessional, porfessional babysitters accesible right now. See the babysitters that are free right now : BABYSITTERSNOW
The BABYSITTERSNOW link led to a spammy financial “services” site. But they’re profemost porfessionals! And they’re compatbales with my babmost!
Thanks, Andrea and Barbara!
I certainly see no problem at all with letting either of these three people/buisnesses/babmost set Tron. I mean I have lots of perver days myself (as you all well know) so I think it would be a grave mistake to judge these professional, professional postsers prematurely.
I only want porfessional, porfessional setters for my kiddos. And look – some of them are free!
I dunno, Taco. You weren’t here on Saturday, that was a pretty perver day.
Pretty perver day is an understatement. Pretty perver day would also make an interesting band name.
And I regret missing it. However, the in-laws needed visiting and somebody’s gotta do it!
Says who?
Taco, you’re not too far from my in-laws. Would you visit them for me? Thanks!
Do they have cake or the predisposition for paying when going to restaurants?
Cake. Homemade pecan rolls. Fresh honey wheat bread with homemade peach butter. Always good food!
Mrs. Taco insisted on visiting the parents instead of a YSaC day devoted to Penis Costumes!?! Talk about screwed up priorities. Would you like us to talk to her for you Taco?
Funny, I always preseumed a conversation which combined “people from YSaC” and “Mrs Taco” would also include the word “intervention” . . .
1st craziness
Candorman will “baby set” your kiddos. Perver day is when I take the pups on a field trip to the local pen for a look at some of the perveriest inmates.
2nd craziness
I’m assuming by “grave yard” you mean after 10p.m? If not…you’re a weirdo lady
3rd craziness
Wtf..? Learn basic grammar, and try again you “professional, professional, professional” R tard. Redundancy must = truth to this waste of unorganized cells.
finally, some decent posts. I have good news and bad news that are one in the same.
~candorman is back!~
bahahaha
One *and* the same.
Sorry, pet peeve. π Welcome back, O splay-legged kitteh of inappropriateness.
:Man walks into jewelry store:
“Hey, do you guys do settings?”
“Of course, sir. Did you have something special in mind?”
:Man places baby on counter.:
“Do you think you can set this? Maybe something tasteful in platinum with a few diamond clusters? I want to surprise my wife.”
Diamonds are forever… babies, not so much.
They’re like kittens, they get bigger… And then will eventually die, and start to rot, and that’s not really something you want on your finger.
And that came across a lot more morbid than it was in my brain…
Sounds like another Steven King knockoff.
Oooh, somebody call Jared’s, there’s probably an excellent niche market in surprise babby settings for that special cohort of our population whose relationships usually end with Deputies and Involuntary Psychiatric Restraing Orders . . .
That last ad is like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventures in Babysitting. They too are looking for babmost awesome.
*sniffle* I wish someone thought I was babmost awesome.
I think you’re the babmostest of them all, Manda!
My first pet was named Babmost, and I grew up on Awesome Way. So Babmost Awesome is my pron name.
What are the chances of that? They’re looking for you to set their babies.
My pron name would be Tessie Lapham. HamCan, don’t even thing about it!
I’d be Jett 78th.
Sounds more like a lame rapper than a pron name.
I think if it’s a number, you can substitute your grade school name.
Bianchi: I think you’re fibbing!
My first pet was a rabbit. Her name was Sniffer. I grew up on Emerson Ave. So, I must bedazzle Sniffer Emerson on my thong.
Later on, I had a German Shepherd named Bismarck and lived on Huntington Rd. Bismarck Huntington wouldn’t make me much money unless Jesse James was in town.
I never heard it called that before…
Manda, I wouldn’t want HamCan to “thing” about my pr0n name, either.. Which I think is either Annie Antwerp or Nikki Wellington… Annie might not count as -my- first pet because she didn’t like kids and died when I was young, and I moved every 3 years growing up. I like the alliteration of Annie Antwerp, but Nikki Wellington sounds classy in a stripper kind of way….
I’d be Chuck Del Mar. A totally plausible pron name, but I lack the proper plumbing and mustache to wear it.
Also, if HamCan’s interpretation of “Lapham” is correct, does that mean that Manda’s pr0n alter ego is a transvestite? Because Tessie is usually a female name…
If we substitute my school:
Jett South Bay.
Yeah, I’m not good at this game.
My pron name would be Heineken Dean. It’s very manly π
*Edit* We children did not name the dog Heineken, our father did.
Ummm…yeah…I meant to do that. Don’t “thing” anythink, Hammy!
EB, I’m pretty sure Tessie is not s tranny. I think maybe she just gives “lapdances” to lunchmeat. And not the stud lesbian, boxer shorts and bra qrindinq lap dances.
Thank you for thinking of my thinging.
People with stable backgrounds clearly make up these rules.
Nubby Neilsen-Babbett
Suzie & Buddy Babbett-Bluebonnet
Suzie Cedar Oaks
Tabby Cedar Oaks-Preston
Tabby Preston-St James
Gemmy Tabitha
Suzy & Adam Shady Hill
Not having the one street to grow up on; and repeating 1st pets complicates things.
Mine would be Lucky Bayles…how original.
I agree, Capn. I have three more streets that I grew up on and don’t remember the name of right now. Unless you count high school as “growing up,” then I could also be “Nikki Telephone.” :-p
CJ: That sounds like a cowboy pron name.
π
“And now…the one…the only… Susie Seagull!
Unfortunately, this has multiple sequels plastered all over it.
So either Sox Walsh or Eddie Fenwick.
Yeah… those don’t really work.
Eddie Fenwick would be a good accountant name, maybe.
Substituting elementary school name:
Sox Devine or Eddie Devine.
(Sox was a dog named after the Red Sox. Eddie was a rabbit. I didn’t name either)
Sox Devine could work! You would just have to have nifty knee- or thigh-high socks be your gimmick. *has apparently thought way too hard about this*
Edit: “Way too hard”? Hmm, that could be taken the wrong way… I have thought way too long about this, then… long and hard…
If we go out one road towards the city and use the first cat I ever had:
“Shorty Johnson”
Yeah… that’s not very flattering at all.
Shorty Johnson- that’s a hard on to live with.
My name would be Sandy Springwood. I think it has a nice ring to it.
Wilfred Lucy. Mmmm, geriatric. If I a more recent pet/street combo, I can get Griffin Royale, but that just sounds like a fancy biscuit.
Brer Poplar, Brer Green, Tiny Poplar or Tiny Green. None of those are really working, are they? I mean, Tiny Poplar sounds like something you get an ointment for from the doctor.
I’ll jump right in with ‘Goldie River Road’. That would make an awesome stage name, but the mental image… erk.
My Bob, I miss that cat.
LL, that sounds like the kind of perver that you get to charge extra for.
Jack Upton, Jack Colonial or Jack Main…hmmm…Jack colonial sounds more like a sleazy realtor than a good Pr0n name. Even if I went with my second pet(parakeet)and first street that I grew up on I would be Tweets Upton. That one sounds like a bass player to me.
Merri Sherwood. Sounds like I should be Robin Hood’s entertainer.
So… so…
I’m Gretel Bramblewood?
Sounds more like a spy than a pronstar…
Grey McLeigh (pronounced McLay). Woot.
If I borrow my sister’s first pet and the second street I grew up on I get Willie Woodhill. Maybe a pronigraphic cartoon character?
Oh, if I follow your altered formula, then I’m…
Mr. Fish Whiteoak.
Nope. Still doesn’t work.
Ha ha! My pron name would be Lucky Johnson.
(Also, why do you say pron? Is it so hard to say…errr…”it?” I’m not saying “it” because there might be a legitimate reason why no one else says “it.”)
Cecil Burke, here.
Sounds more like a poisonous vine to me. As in, “oh, don’t touch the Cecilburke, you’ll have a rash fer sure!”
According to wikipedia there was a real Cecil Burke who was famous as a lower-order right-handed batsman and a leg-break and googly bowler.
Something to aspire to, I’m sure.
NMN, that goes to how some nanny programs block things spelt
Papa Oscar Romeo Novemeber
but do not block
Papa Romeo Zero Novemeber (pr0n)
Which has become a wide-spread inteweb meme of its own.
—————
Just got an email from relatives, may have been a shoat adopted from an uncle’s farm in my past.
Meaning I may actually have a Borg pr0n name:
11-CR204
Daddy does – and always will.
All together now: Awwwwww…..
π
It’s a trap!
Scene One
The perver approaches the babby setting in the grave yard.
Perver: Hey babby…you are the babmost profemost compatbales I have ever seen…heh..heh…wanna come down to the river and get some “candy” from my van?
Babby: Wanna see something really scary? Babby produces meat geberts – 20 of them – and asks Ever hear of soylent green?
Close-up of babby’s glowing-green eyes and fade to black as Perver’s screams can be heard in background
NO idea where that came from.
*crosses CJ off the invite over for tea list*
CJ, wanna collaborate on a script? With the drivel Hollywood puts out these days, I think your storyline would trump all horror films coming out these days. You could do the writing, and I’ll do the managing, and I’ll pay you a small percentage. But if you do something I think is stupid I might have to fire you and keep the script.
You two would never make it in Hollywood. Your script is too good and not nearly derivative enough.
You need to pump it through the Blandigizerβ’ so that it conforms to the tried and true Hollywood movie equation.
Yancy…I wrote a pithy reply to your equally-pithy comment about 3 hours ago…and it never showed as my un-snarky ‘puter was being a diva this morning.
Sigh…I shall try to re-create said pithiness…
In my oh-my-gawd-can-your-head-really-explode?! addled-brain (PAIN!!)state this (PAIN!!) morning, I read your “…I might have to fire you…” as “….I might have to set you on fire…”
See, it woulda been sooooooo much funnier earlier….I coulda been a contenduh….
STELLA!!!!!!!!!!
*Pumps CJ’s Script through the Blandigizerβ’*
The attractive, yet dense and self absorbed teenage boy (played by a 36 year old) walks into “Mall” where he is greeted by also attractive, neurotic and self absorbed teenage girl (Also played by a woman in her 30s).
Teenage girl accuses boy of something she misunderstands and he leaves in a huff. Girl’s friend explains situation and girl is regretful. Boy is apparently wrong anyway and apologizes for no apparent reason; he is forgiven by girl after tense scene.
They make out; everyone is happy forever. The End.
The Blandigizerβ’ has done it again! Another cookie cutter hit! Thanks for the script CJ, I’ll make sure that you earn a pittance when it makes best picture.
*Foams at the mouth, goes to lie down*
Gosh Taco….I truly think your story has Pulitzer Prize written all over it….in crayon.
I’d give it a Tony if it was made into a musical.
*Pumps his script into the Blandigizerβ’*
Youth is misunderstood because, while being like everyone else, they are unique and special and nobody understands this uniquity.
Somebody from a magical land/outer space/secret organization realizes the hidden worth of Youth and recruits/kidnaps him/her. Youth has escapades which culminates in him/her saving the world/kids who misunderstood Youth.
Everyone now appreciates uniquity in Youth because it directly benefited them and there is happiness forever! The End.
I think if I pump it through again I get an action movie staring a police officer who his supervisor hates.
Or something involving anthropomorphic animated animals who all happen to be professional-level dancers and singers with impeccible musical timing.
So long as the bad guy dies by falling….a….long….way…
Seriously, think about all the
drivelmovies that Hollyweird has produced in the last, say…60 years – how many bad guys have met their demise by falling?:Jeopardy theme plays in background:
See what I mean?
TM, you forgot to include how everyone depicted as being older than 30 barely knows how to tie their own shoes, has to use a dial phone, and would not recognize an alien if one is standing behind them using a straw to suck out their brains.
But, the Entire Government is capable of technology far in advance of any alien, and makes no errors at all, as they have all the super-sophisticated tech, but nobody knoes ’cause gr’ups is soe stoopid.
And, then ‘sploshuns, flashue bits, an kool ‘fects. Then the nerdy hero rescues the girl, ’cause he’s got, like, super powers he never kneww ’bout, but can use widdout any practise ‘coz theys sooper, y’know?
The End.
“Mom! Gimme ‘nuther #11.55! The next matinee is starting! Gimme!”
And remember that if the movie if a crime drama, the cops/detectives will be brilliant, but if it’s a horror movie, they will be dumb as bricks.
And I’m very, very tired of the outcast boy discovers powers, saves the day and gets the hot girl stories. Very, very tired. (Ditto of the CGI dancing/signing/pop-culture quoting animals)
CJ: Two words for you: Railing Kill.
is, IS a crime drama. goshdarnit. *out of edit time*
I think I’m going to start replacing all my ifs with if. That’ll make things interesting!
How if the weather? If it raining? If it sunny? What time if it?
What if the meaning of life?
If you’re using an unblubler, if it raining?
Sliva, 42, we all know this already.
Which, since you mentioned ut, will be the audience share for the CGI dancing/signing/pop-culture anumated outcast nerd boy saves planet and get ultra-hot girl who is secretly nympho for nerds using sooper powrs.
See, h’wood will fall upon a franchise like this, like a flock of starved ducks upon a junebug convention. This, as it means the male lead never grows too old to be the child star. Which means the franchise can be milked so as to get all the parsites their 2-5% cut in near perpetuity.
Now, if we took the idea to the NZ fims scene, or maybe the Czech, possibly even the S. Africa studios–then we could get a fascinating movie perfectly willing to lampoon the satire of “modern” media culture. Potentially, even, movies with, gasp, less-good endings. The better to reflect how life often has less good endings. Or that “endings” are largely artifical, and imposed collectively and subjectively. But, I could be biased.
Certified food handlers with graveyard opening just makes me feel that I need to be more selective about where I dine out.
“Okay, I’ll take the #2 meat gerberts with a side of pamper potatoes to go.”
Pamper potatoes? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little….
Pampered potatoes: Food fit for a Luxury woman!
Just as long as they’re not Pamper potatoes with gravy…. I already regret typing that.
CJ, Since becoming a regular reader of YSaC, I’ve had to acquire a spittoon to keep near my desk at work for just such an emergency.*
*My co-workers keep insisting that I change my brand of ‘chaw’.
[time shift corey]In a tiny (itsy-bitsy) fairness to Sparq, I’m wondering if this is care during a graveyard shift (around 2300-0800) or for people working graveyard.
That latter group always torn with the choice of sleeping in the morning or in the evening.
[/corey]
I do both. Sleep a little before work, a little after. (If you consider a start time of 3:30 in the morning to be “grayeyard shift”)
Graveyard shift? I think 3:30 am is more like zomb
I tell ya, most of the time, that’s what I feel like there…
Didn’t help when a manager one year stopped referring to us as workers and started referring to us as “bodies”. “We need another body over here!”
I worked Swing (1500-0100) in my first job out of college. It was a weird experience near Downtown Dallas in the 80s. Nobody but nobody with a “day” job “got” how my lunchtime was about 1800, on the supper menu of every place but the fast-food joints. Or that a simple trip to the mall meant getting up at the equivalent of 0500 for me (if “noon” for the straights).
Equally weird was that, for me, all the bars closed at the equvalent of 1800. And, since the d-bags I was working for required us to work an hour of unpaid OT, I rarely got to see bars. Just as tough was the required 1200-1700 Saturday shifts–like OT at 0500.
I once worked a 0430 to 1330 shift (Pacific) to cover our East coast sales folks but I never got more than 2-3 calls prior to 0700 Pacific unless something was BADLY wrong. Jack in the Box became my best friend because they were the only place serving lunch at 9 am.
I loved getting out of work with so much of the day still available to me but it got a little rough when I headed to bed seeing as I live right next to a college and am pretty well surrounded by student housing. Even earplugs didn’t help much.
I sure hope the houses across the street are rented to slightly less shallow and noisy people this year. The neighborhood was not improved by lounge chairs in the driveways, beer pong and beer skeeball… nor by the aspiring band with a FLAT singer.
Edit: Damn, I’m getting old, aren’t I?
Beer skeeball???? My parents should be very thankful there was no such thing around when I was in college. I never would have graduated and my liver would have shriveled up and died. I love skeeball! Beer is great and all, but skeeball! Wheeee! Skeeball!
A “Flat” singer?
Cardboard cutout?
Would-be marilyn manson?
Or, as I hope, and under-melodious singer under-taught in sharps?
A singer that frequently wanders above the notes makes my ears bleed. But when the correct note always seems to be somewhere over the singer’s head, I want to kick small animals. This becomes a problem when my husband is listening to certain of his CDs.
Of course, my own aim can be erratic at times, too, so I generally only solo when I’m solo.
Oddly, an honestly monotone singer doesn’t bother me so much. You know where they are and that’s where they stay. π
My babmosts are 20 and 17, and I still wouldn’t pick any of these to set them! Will they get hot meals? Will there be edumacational activities? And what about nap time? It’s so difficult to get a 17 year old to nap. I am not yet convinced of their suitability.
Are you sure it’s difficult to get a 17 year old to nap? It seems like if you just told them “Either nap for 1 hour or mow the lawn”…
I know which one I would pick….gnight everyone!
(Don’t take this out of context later, it’s 10 in the morning at the time of my typing this.)
When I was a teenager, it was hard to convince me NOT to nap. *was very lazy then*
I’m in my 20s and could still nap for England. I got into a bad habit during Uni of spending most afternoons watching cartoons on the couch and napping (English and Law meant not many class hours). Stressful life, it was…
1.) The hard part isn’t convincing us to nap, it’s us actually managing to pull off the act. Believe me, we’ll try.
2.) Sure, there will be edumacashunal activities! I mean, they’re going to watch those Vegetable Tales things. You know, the claymation version of Children of the Corn X, Cloverfield, all sorts of edumacashiunal things!
What’s a nap?
It’s the direction of the fluff on fabrics. You know how hard it can be to get teenagers to set a sleeve correctly. Apparently when you’re setting babmosts, getting the nap right is even more important.
I am looking for a setter for my baby.* I would prefer an Irish Setter because they’ve got such lovely coats, but English Setters and Gordon Setters are OK too. In addition to setting babies, must also be able to set alarm clocks, the table, and phasers to stun.
* This may not actually be true. My baby is a Tibetan spaniel and already knows how to set.
Isn’t Gordon Setter that guy on Hell’s Kitchen? He’s babmost awesome.
Her are some baby Setters sitting…
http://www.gundogsonline.com/Upload/ClassifiedAds/Ad33642File1.jpg
Awwwwww, da puppies……
*Opens door, tosses baby in, closes door, turns dial on Maytag to baby*
Oooh! And the new models have the “perma dry diaper” feature.
WANT.
ME TOO! I’ve been changing diapers for almost 5 years straight now. I’m down to one in diapers and one in pullups (only for bed) and I’m over it.
I’ve only been changing diapers for a little under a year…. And if MrEB has any say in the matter, I’ll be changing diapers for many. Many. MANY more years. He’s been baby-hungry since MiniEB was about 3 months old. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around! (Though, I do want a little girl, so I can dress her up in pink and ruffles and bows and such. MrEB would get peeved if I did that to our male Mini…)
Who knows, maybe someday he can dress up like that on his own, and hang out with Mr. Winkey and Justin Bieber on a cruise ship!
**I just typed it, and I still don’t believe I said it.**
EB, pink is a MANLY color, just ask any gentleman from Victorian England. You never, ever dressed a boy baby in blue because that would make him effeminate. And ruffles are pirate-y.
The bows, well, you’re on your own.
Yeah, blue was girly because it was calm… How times and color interpretations have changed! I might be able to sneak by blue ruffles on a tuxedo-type shirt, but he still have problems with butterflies, flowers, headbands, tutus, etc…
If the last poster is a “quality babysitting business,” then why are they advertising on CL?
Also, it’s quite obvious what the second ad is talking about, they babysit undead children.
Oh good, we need someone to control the zomb…
Diaper changes on human babies are bad enough.
“Time to change you, little undead Annie. Ooh, I’d wish you’d stop eating so many puppies. The fur is so hard to get off with the baby wipes.”
THAT’S an unpleasant image.
Everyone knows zombabies sensitive digestive tracts handle kittens better than puppies.
Wait, if we postulate Gerbets Pet Braaaaiiiiiins for ZomBabbies, doe that not infer zompuppies and zomkitteh about?
Undead cocker spaniel attempting to lick a person’s brain out would be bad enough. But, ZomCats? Bad enough when the living cats curl around your head a is . . .
Then, consider the poor ZomCat caretaker, going to all the trouble to bring FancyBrrraaaaiiins home, only to be spurned by the finicky ZomCat . . . (ooh, squicked myself: non-compliant ZomLitter box issues . . . )
EB – be glad I only mentioned the fur.
Meow Mix, Special Brain Formula – now with 35% more gray matter.
So good, zomcats ask for it by name.
10th Life, for the finicky zomcats. After his nine lives expire, your zomcat deserves 10th Life.
Purina Zomcat Chow, gives your cat a healthy coat*
*coat may belong to another cat or animal.
Many doors for Kelli!!
I like the idea of a free babbysetter. But you get what you pay for. Probably a perver.
Usually you have to pay extra for the perver.
What?
If you want more than one, does that make it pervers?
Pervers are what you make a patiho out of…
Hey, Ed lost his hat (Laurel will be sad).
But, he’s got cool MiB glasses! WooHoo!
You know, there’s nothing wrong with this. The position of the baby — and everyone and everything else — can totally mess up the feng shui if you don’t do it right. In fact, back in the day, the feng shui took into account the placement of your baby (or babies) in order to achieve the most balanced TV reception, and often involved attaching antenna wires to their cribs or the ears of their bunny outfits. (Hence the entrance into common parlance of the term “rabbit ears.”)
Nowadays of course, this practise has fallen out of favour, and feng shui now considers the placement of your young child(ren) important for harmonious circulation of low-power microwaves, so if you’re in an area with bad cell reception, it’s probably a safe bet there are no children in the area — or they’ve shifted into a bad position.
As a tech writer, I see money to be made in helping people write craigslist ads. As an ethical human, I refuse to take that money. If I won’t let these people anywhere near my kids, I wouldn’t feel right convincing others to give them business.
I view this site as a public service.
Sadly, my parole officer doesn’t see it the same way.
Mostly because the public doesn’t get it. I think they read Craigslist or something…
It satisfies my public service requirements, though.
Can I trade in all the punches I’ve collected from Windrose for community service hours, then?
I swear I commented about an hour ago, but it’s not here. Hmm…
Perhaps it wasn’t properly set and fell out.
Margarine
Yes, margarine might make things fall out…
Duct tape
You know, that puppy isn’t really cute anymore, you’ve made it creepy… the creepy little puppy grin with the squinty eyes…
Eye’s not squinty, she was just a babby there and her eyes weren’t open yet.
Still a creepy puppy grin, going on about dressing up laphams and duct tape and margarine and such…
Wasn’t it you that had a “preposition” the other day…
*Squinty puppy wags*
“Margarina’s 25% off” is how the sign I saw earlier read.
Does the first ad say that the poster is a pervert during the day?
Maybe I need to go back to bed.
No. It’s just wishful thinking on their part.
Sparky’s new psycho calendar
Manicday
Turretsday
Weirdnessday
Perverday
Freakday
Batterday
Sinday
This begs for a rewrite of “Friday (I’m in Love)” but I’m not feeling up to the challenge.
So… the site tried to load in Firefox for about an hour, until I finally gave up and opened Safari. Maybe that’s why we only have 41 comments so far today?
I was having trouble with firefox for the past few days. Had to use IE. But FF seems to be working now for me.
Can only comment from my iPhone. Anyone else having problems with the site? I keep getting an error message “400 bad request”.
I’ve not been having any problems. I’ve used Chrome, SRIron, and IE7 without issue.
Just tested using Firefox, Safari, Chrome and IE and all are working for me. I’ll check with my hosting provider to see if there are any issues, but there never are in these situations.
Try clearing your cache and restarting your browser; that works for some people when they have this problem.
I cleared all my cookies in FF, and it works now π Let’s see how long this lasts…
I finally had to completely re-boot the ‘puter and now….I’m baaaaaaaaaack….
When it fully stopped on my desktop on Saturday, I had to clear Cookies, Cache, Temp Files, and then Restart.
Works in IE, but not FF on the desktop.
Tablet does not seem to care (other than running IE slowly like the bloated dinosaur it is). But, it’s also 7″ diagonally smaller than the screen on the desktop, which makes for some squinting.
I had to restart my computer for unrelated reasons, but YSaC didn’t come back until I cleared all my cookies. But then, of course, it forgot the prefilled name and email addy, and so the witty* comment I typed up was lost into the ether.
*This may not be true.
In my experience, when there is a lot of snow, there’s no need for a babysitter. So just what is babysitter snow?
I think the last one is pron in disguise. Why else would you need to see the flexible babysitters that were available now?
BABYSITTERSNOW
*Anagram fun*
Try Swabbie Snot (No thanks, Iβll stick with regular snot)
Witty Saber Snob (Smarty pants fencer)
Stow Briny Beast (Sex on the beach)
Beat Boss Wintry (best your supervisor at a snow ball fight)
Ribbet Wasn’t Soy (Non-imitation frogs legs)
Bit Sorbet Yawns (Valium ice cream)
Warty Bobs Tines (No modeling job for Bob)
I think stowing the briny beast is what Captain Hook calls “alone time”.
It’s what Davey Jones does with his Kraken.
And what Captain Ahab does with Moby Dick.
I’ll just go sit in the corner now.
Using his harpoon?
“Thar she blows!” takes on a whole new meaning.
Hammy, you’re a bad influence. I like you!
She’s breaching captain, head for the poopdeck!
And it’s what Chthulhu and I call. . .uh, never mind. Carry on. Nothing to see here.
OT: It’s raining here today. A coworker happened to walk by while I was half under my desk and asked what I was doing. Without stopping to think about it, I replied, “Looking for my unblubler!”
It’s okay though, they already know I’m weird.
Unblublers and ChesterDrawers (especially the French Prudential kind) have made their way in to my everyday vocabulary
Well, I spent far too long in the residential cabinet biz, so they were “draws” before I got here. However, I note I have to explain “french pervential” more often lately.
Which can be hard to accomplish deeplomately.
I used sweet jumping spice christ while moving furniture the other day, my in-laws stopped and just stared a minute. π
I regularly use unblubler and other memes as part of my snarkabulary.
Adding to the OT: Today is me and Husband-monkey’s “crystal” anniversary. I came home to find the house covered in strands of plastic wrap webbing and a giant plastic wrap spider. Yep, he went with the crystal spider from Krull. One of the gifts was a crystal paper weight inscribed with as many memes as he could find a way to use as a way to compliment me. Yep, I found a keeper.
congrats christina*! That has to be the greatest use of a Krull reference I’ve ever seen.
*emo band name?
What, other than having Kevin Sorbo clean the kitchen and do the laundry shirtless?
In the interest of keeping everyone’s inner (or in many cases outer) high school humor amused, I have a couple fortune cookies to share with you. These are the fortunes that MrEB and I got yesterday…. We added “in bed” to the end of them, and then immediately regretted it.
Mine: “You have strong potential for financial success.” (fits with today’s discussion of stripper/pr0n names…)
His: “Children will plan an important role in your life.” (squick! hopefully not fitting with today’s ad….)
*will play
The squick makes more sense that way…
Now see, I totally read that as meaning that children will invade your bed at any and all hours, ensuring that you never, ever get to use your bed for its other common purpose. Ever.
No squick.
Just many small chaperones.
My avatar if starting to make my brain twitch. I’m going to have to replace it soon.
Would you like to borrow a puppy*
*Costume
The puppy looks shocked and appalled now.
Considering Hamcan’s usual comments, that’s fitting.
It’s my unusual comments you need to watch out for.
By the way, did HHNF ever return the… I want to say squirrel (?) costume?
Thanks to sparky #1 I’m replacing the word creeper with perver when talking about windowless vans*.
*Except for the expression pedo-van, I like that one too much
Ok, was inspired.
youji haikei would be Japanese for “Babby Setting” in the sense of flower arranging. Not sure if that prequires special pruning tools, or spaghnum moss to create a split-level effect.
(For the curious, yoo JEE hah EE keh EE(h)
Which caused the pun:
bebisubiki which is babby roosting (as in what hens do on eggs).
(For the curious, beh BEE soo BEE key–the alliteration making it pun worthy of a Nipponese CL Sparhiki)
Po po kajiwa. – The only remotely asian phrase I know.
POKETTO MONSUTO!!!!!
That’s about all the Japanese I know.
Useful Nihongo
Good day — Ko NEE Chee wah
Good evening — Kohn bahn WAH
Yes — High
No — ee Yay
Please — Dough Zo
Thank you — Dough moe
Thank you very much — Dough moe are EE GAH toe
Thank you so very, extremely much — Dough moe are EE GAH toe, da eesh EE mash eh tay
I’d like a [brand] beer — Dough Zo, BEEh rue [brand] OH koo Dah Sigh
Where is the bathroom? — OH tea RHA EYE, wah doko deska
I do not understand — Hah eye, wah kah REE mah sen, GAH eye jen des
Please, do you speak English? — Go MEN Nah SIGH, EYE ee Goh hah NAH She Mah shoe kah
Advance things like “ΒΏCuΓ‘nto es la fianza?” “Β‘Jugend! Jetz hier mehr „biΓ¨re,” ici aufbringen, Schnell! Schnell!” Or the ever popular “ΠΠ°ΠΊΠΎΠΉ ΠΏΡΡΡ ΠΈΠ·Π±ΡΠ°ΡΡ Π² Π°ΠΌΠ΅ΡΠΈΠΊΠ°Π½ΡΠΊΠΎΠ΅ ΠΏΠΎΡΠΎΠ»ΡΡΡΠ²ΠΎ?” will require additinal lessons.
I thought gomen na sai was I’m sorry. Of course the only Japanese I know is from James Bond novels and J-pop (which is usually full of butchered French and English). I also randomly know how to ask where the bank is: Banco, wa doka desu ka?
christina, it can probably be translated either way depending on context. Much like “pardon me” means “please”, “excuse me” or “I’m sorry.”
Ah, conversational habit intruded into comedic intent.
Gomen na sai is “I’m sorry” also in the sense of “pardon me.”
Since you are creating a situation potentially embarassing to the other party, it’s considered polite to apologize in advance.
If you have asked a simple question, and your answer provider has leapt out there with a novella of an answer, you use a spiffy phrase:
Shitsurei shimas — Sorry for my incivility
In the case of rattled off directions, Shitsurei shimas. Wakarimasen, anata no nipponjin wa watashi nitotte mo yoidesu.
And, romanji is complicated. “______ is located where” is pronounced as Wah DOH kho des kah, but is written out in the proper way as “wa doko desu ka”. Conversationally, the “u” in desu is often omitted (along with a raft of othes vowels in verbs). It’s a sort of contraction, but not considered poor form so much as efficient enunciation.
Discussion that may have led to ad #3*
Financial “Services” Spammer: We need a way to get more people to the site Sparky.
Sparky: Why don’t we use the Craig’slist?
FSS: Great idea, but our ad should have nothing to do with our actual site and services.
Sparky: I’ve got it! We’ll advertise that we have “porfessional” babysitters!
FSS: That’s good Sparks, but it needs more oompf
Sparky: We can say that we have “profemost compatbales’ available. Who wouldn’t want one of those?
FSS: Wonderful, it just needs a finishing touch so everyone that reads it nows how great we are.
Sparky: We are “babmost awesome.”
FSS: That’s it!
*This may be untrue
I prophesize prostrated penguins will postulate predisposed progressive pedophiles, pervers, and profemost compatbale porfessional babbysitters to be self-evident; and as such, will propose perpetual propagation prevention both physically and psychically of said babbysittersinsnow for the protection of premature babmost awesomes.
Holy Alliteration, Batman!
Those were great. Despite my assumptions, I’m still trying to figure out what a perver day is. Does the second one put the kids IN the grave yard openings? They might crawl out. At least the third one is urgent and makes things happen “right now”. Craigslist is probably the last place I’d look for a babysitter, baby “setter”, or anyone that might think they’re competent enough to watch children.
I’m pretty sure “perver day” was meant to be “prefer day”
Ok, Corey… π
I think I am most concerned that she is a “perver” by day. Perver is pervert without the t. Did she mean pervert or is this just a tragic spelling error and she meant to say prefer? Hmmmm.
Oooh, sparkette has a time machine! Can you just imagine the fantastic field trips a la Mary Poppins to the Age of Enlightenment or the Bronze Age…
I want to restart the pron star name thread down here, cause it’s so hard to figure out where to go to reply on the one above. 8) I would be Midnight Claydell, closely followed by Lucky Washington, and Baby Anza. Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Other names I could parse:
Fluffy Third (behind the scenes pron worker)
Tibet Semenary (enlightened pron)
Cassiel Parker (Jazz singer?)
Amigo Perry Creek. I also had about a million cats outside so I could replace Amigo with Precious, Sabrina, Tiger, Socks, and about a dozen other names. If I went with current pets and my most recent addresses;
Fearless Fleming
Firefly Highway 70
Simon Country Pond
Windrose, can I have a punch?
Not yet, Camille, I’ll be back in 25 minutes (8:30 PM MPT) and you have to share!
“MPT”? Mountain Pacific Time? Macchu Piccu Time?
Naw, My Personal Time. 8) And I’m an hour late! Darn Facebook games.
Camille! Alice Bluegown! The Dynamic Duo of Don’t Sucking! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Forrest Lawn!