YSaC, Vol. 775: LBJ, IRT, USA, DDT
Wanted: DDT — URGENT!!!!
My organic garden has been facing a lot of pressure from pests this season, and I am looking for a reliable DDT wholesaler to help me out with this problem. I have a double lot in SE Portland, and am unsure how much DDT is necessary to effectively eradicate the spiders, slugs, etc that are currently plaguing me. I appreciate the natural balance of the earth and sun, but sanitizing the soil again this year has not effectively decimated the natural insect population. In fact, they’re back stronger than ever!!!! Also, my neighbors’ dogs are poorly penned and are persistent in their destruction of my entire basil crop. I think that DDT will help. I haven’t been able to find any online merchants, and Portland Nursery, The Garden Spout, The Urban Farm Store, etc are unwilling to help me. They don’t seem to understand the needs of an organic, urban gardener. I’m so disappointed. I’m hoping to start an organic CSA program before the end of the summer, and my inability to find useful, safe, environmentally-friendly pesticides is really hampering my ability to do so. If anyone out there can help, or direct me to a supplier, please contact. SOON!
Mmmm, nothing says “organic” like a good shot of DDT. Yep, nothing eliminates pesky insects, spiders, slugs, and DOGS in quite as environmentally friendly a way as one of the most infamous pesticides of all time. Then again, let’s give this person the benefit of the doubt. It’s still organic if you use a container of pesticide to bludgeon your problem animals, right?
Thanks for the link, Stephanie!
I think Sparky needs to call Jake the Snake Roberts. that guy was a master of the DDT, and I’m sure he would be more than willing to help. Those spiders wouldn’t stand a chance after their faces were smashed into the canvas.
I know an organic method of dog removal. It’s called a BB gun.
Land mine.
I’m sending my puppy over to leave some “land mines” in your yard!
I’ve got a bunch of plants on my lawn that protect it from zombies. I hope your puppy is up to the challenge.
I think I need coffee. I’m having lucidity problems this morning.
Listen to some Queensryche. That should solve the problem, Taco.
But it’s silent lucidity. How can he listen to that?
The voices in your head will tell you all you need to know.
Manda — I thought mom’s were suppose to know everything.
ACG, my kids are all under the age of 5 and they’d still tell you that mommy doesn’t know anything. I suspect nothing much will change in the next 10 years. 🙂
Hey, HamCan’s avatar is a pig again!
What?
Well DDT could be organic if you come from another planet. DDT would seem pretty tame after breathing Methane at say -230 degrees, and were bathed in deadly radiation all day. It might even be considered a beauty product if you’re from one of the newly discovered planets that are like a 5 minute walk from your sun, and where a year is only 22 hours. Yup DDT is downright yummy compared to that.
Yeah, but would DDT actually kill any bugs that manage to live on any of those planets?
You’d probably have to chase the bugs down with a lightsaber. I’m thinking Starship Troopers style bugs would probably use DDT as breath freshener.
I nominate Stormtrooper Cockroaches as a band name.
Or to be IF’s Flaming Lips* cover band.
*The thought process that lead to Flaming Lips from Stormtrooper Cockroaches went like so:
Roaches –> Death by Cheetos –> Really Spicy Cheetos –> My lips are on fire!
[DDTcorey]We used to go to drive-in theaters (another corey for you youngsters, another time) in the summertime when the skeeters were thick as molasses. Before the first movie came on, the skeeter truck with the vat of DDT and industrial-sized sprayer mounted in the bed would come by and spray whatever was in its path. Good times…good times…and people wonder why I am the way I am.[/endDDTcorey]
This reminds me of a bit in Mary Karr’s Liars’ Club where the kids in the town where she grew up would follow a pesticide truck on their bikes (very possibly DDT, but I don’t recall for sure) as a “game,” the object being who could pedal behind the toxic stream the longest.
Good times!
Bianchi, I think “children playing in the fog from the DDT truck” is the best picture caption I have read or will read all week.
Wow. That must secure a lifetime guarantee against mosquito bites.
Of course, producing glow in the dark children is a risky side effect.
[ddt corey] the diesel oil used to generate fog probably created greater risk than the DDT.
DDT is a realtively benign organochloride, keep your daily intake under ¼kg/day and you’d be ok. (Malathion, DEET, Theozole, much, much less nice to be in direct contact with.)
Greayest human risk with DDT is in the manufacturing process.
[/corey]
We used to have the “bug truck” drive around our neighborhood when I was growing up, and you’d hear a loud “wwwwwhhhhhiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr” coming up the road as a warning. It was a rush to close all the doors and windows before you got the smoke in your house. It was the eighties, but I always wondered what it was they were spraying, and if it would actually kill us all in our sleep one day.
Meredith, this is OT but somehow you have disappeared from FB and when I try to click on your updates at the top of the screen it asks me if I wan’t to open a file. Um, have you gone viral, missy? I would send you a note there but right now it is telling me you don’t exist, at least not in a profile I can find.
Hmmmm, I dunno what’s going on with FB.
Uh oh, my fingers look a bit…fadey. Maybe I should have listened to Doc and stopped messing with the space time continuum. Now I’m going to have to make sure my parents get to the dance together, so they can have their first kiss!!!
“BRB. Saving space/time. TTYL…I hope”
You gotta produce 1.21 jiggawatts* to get home! Quick, harness some slow moving lightning!
*If they couldn’t be bothered to pronounce it correctly then there is obviously precedent for a new word.
The jigglewatts worked. 😉
I love that book!
Wan’t is the best misuse of an apostrophe of all time. It’s like you have a Klingon accent.
Bianchi, I saw that after the time was up. Whiskey-tango-hotel, I don’t know what I was thinking. That’s like insane apostrophe abuse. I have a headache and a lot on my mind, and will blame that. 8)
That’s a misuse of an apostrophe that even I can be proud of!
If Isaac were here right now, I’m sure he’d get out his pedanticles and
tentarapebeat you for that misapplied apostrophe.That’s nothing. When my mom was growing up in south Arkansas, they used to smear themselves with DDT from big barrels they kept in the yard.
Proper use of punctuation? Check. Excellent speeling? Check. Correct use of their/they’re/there? Check. Ability to properly use words of 4+ syllables? Check. What we have here is one of the most grammatically correct idiots YSaC has ever seen.
I think you just put your thumb on what I found most terrifying about this post.
No, the best was one we didn’t see. The “octagonal” mirror I submitted a little bit back originally had a very long paragraph associated with it that had perfect spelling and grammar, and even correctly used a semicolon.
It’s still in the queue, Astro.
I could swear you’ve already posted it.
Although you could be thinking of the French Prudincial stuff I sent you.
Let me tell you why they should Bring Back DDT, and Science With It!.
FauxCorey-first welcome back(?) WE have missed you! Second, yeah I didn’t want to draw the wrath of my fellow YSaCers, but I’ve read this before.
I’m on the fence about DDT…think maybe in the future it’ll be used judiciously.
Yeah, I’ve read much about the DDT scare and the case against it was largely politicaly motivated rather than scientifically.
In either case though, the use of DDT and making an Organic garden are mutually exclusive ideas. In that respect, the poster earns our scorn.
Thanks, Taco. That’s the point I was trying to get at below, but you put it far more eloquently.
Now, please spell something incorrectly so we can mock you and get this train back on the tracks! 😉
I agree, but could really understand the “organic” gardener’s frustration given my b-i-l and his lament.
Seriously, I’m going to finally start a SMALL garden next year and will plant marigolds around the perimeter and sprinkle with Sevin Dust liberally.
Good point TM – I’ll take that scorn in the name of science.
New Corey’s got a martyr complex. Kinky.
But I’ve got plenty of fresh scorn if you wantes some too, New Corey.
I’ve also got some used scorn if you have a pile of firm obos.
And we know it’s not the real corey because he capitalized his ‘C’.
And I’m not bacontini either, eh TM?
Yeah, Bacontini is MY meat puppet.
…
I think that was the line right there.
So does Corey still have to use corey tags if s/he wants to be serious? Would that be like dividing by zer-
Actually, I think Corey will have to use a [not Corey corey] and [Corey/not corey] tag so that we can keep it all straight.
or maybe not…
Great! We’ll put you in charge of keeping track of that Gramps.
He can do it after he makes the rounds giving out candy to first graders in his white van!
Yuck! Reality and fact! Somebody get a mop. Not allowed in the Snark Lounge! 8) (jk, love the things I learn here.)
Yeah, never mind that breast cancer, those dead Bald Eagles and California Condors, the DDT-resistant mosquitoes, and that DDT isn’t really that effective in fighting malaria.
I haven’t had any Bald Eagles or California Condors eating my veggies since I started using DDT again. And I haven’t gotten malaria either.
So there!
Oh. Then I can’t use DDT.
Our marching band show is about Eagles. Specifically the bald ones. If I went and sprayed them with DDT, that’d probably look bad…
I. Umm. Wow. Organic? DDT? “Unclear on the concept” seems to be a minor understatement.
I obviously need another slice of coffee.
I’m guessing Sparky uses organic agent orange for weed control too…
Napalm. There’s nothing like a scorched-earth policy to completely eradicate those pesky dandelions.
The best part about Napalm is that after it does its job there is a lot of Grill Blackened meat left over.
Jellied gasoline has so many useful home applications!
High VOC hair mousse makes a great napalm substitute…or so I’ve been told.
I have ivy and morning glory all over my yard… I’m thinking scorched earth is really the only solution here. (So does MrEB, ish. We’ve been talking about completely ripping out our yard and getting someone to re-lay sod or something or another. Or another. Or something. Ish.)
My parents don’t have grass as such, they have a collection of weeds cut to the same height. I believe my dad’s exact words were “I don’t care what it is so long as it’s green and I can mow it.”
The definition of a weed: any plant growing where you don’t want it.
We have miner bees. The only way to get rid of them is, apparently, to till up their homes, spray, then plant grass in the fall and hope it grows enough to cover up all their homes before they come back in late spring. My Dad was getting desperate enough that he was ready to pour gasoline down their holes and strike a match in one, then watch the yard combust.
Also, Lola, I totally read that as Jedi Gasoline.
Jedi gasoline?
“This is not the diesel you’re looking for.”
[gardeningcorey]My brother-in-law has a massive garden – a half acre – in veggies and fruit that is totally organic. For years upon years his “insecticide” has been bug-picking…yes, he’d spend hours every day picking bugs off every plant. He’s now in his sixties and this summer after a hot day of bug-picking, he plunked down on the porch next to me and said, “Screw organic, I wish I could get my hands on some DDT.”[/endgardeningcorey]
CJ, smart man! 8) I’ve tried to reduce my snail population by getting those carnivorous snails. It worked well for a couple years, but that’s it. I don’t think the carni snails liked it here and moved to Florida or something.
When I was in Florida — I always fed my slugs and snails beer. While not really organic, it kept them under control. (It was kind of gross to take care of every day.)
“USDA yearbook of agriculture 1977” is my gardening Bible, and they suggest pie pans full of beer as a slug-and-snail control method. slugs crawl, in, get drunk, drown. Sadly, I’m yet to find a equally hilarious method for getting rid of grasshoppers organically, besides smacking them with a stick. (not really any slugs or snails in Arizona, just locusts. we’re old-school like that.)
We put our beer in a contraption formed out of plastic soda bottles. It lets them into the beer, but won’t let them out.
You fill it with beer, sprinkle a bunch around it, and let the slug party begin.
I always reduced the snail population by giving them jar lids full of beer. Once they were sloshed, into a frying pan with a little butter and garlic, then serve them to the neighbor’s kids….
Hope you served them with some fava beans and a nice non-alcoholic chianti.
I’ve also heard that newly-emerged cicadas should get the butter and garlic treatment. I do not live in an area with cicadas, though.
It is recommended that you feed your captured snails and slugs on corn meal for a few weeks before frying them up just to ensure that any pesticides they may have ingested are out of their systems.
Escargot.
Bless you.
As somebody who does a fair amount of gardening myself, I’ll say that my garden is only incidentally Organic. Mostly because I grow peppers and tomatoes and pests don’t really eat those too much in this area. And since peppers need such gentle fertilizer all they really get is fish emulsion and bone meal.
Now the chipmunk who’s eating my tomatoes that’s another story. I’d like to DDT him right in the face.
I feel the same way about the rabbits that ate ALL of my peppers this year. At least they were equal opportunity pepper thieves and ate all of my neighbor’s peppers too.
Yeah, I had to put up rabbit netting to keep them away from the peppers and tomatoes.
What is worse is that the rabbits here HATE the taste of the pepper plants, so they just nip them off at ground level and leave the plant laying in the dirt.
If it wasn’t hugely against the law to use a BB gun in the city limits, I’d be having rabbit stew rather often. Mostly because of the peppers, but also because they’re gnawing on the supports to my deck for some reason.
Yeah, WTH with that? It’s like they’re just doing it to be malicious. I tried to explain to Stewie* that I’m okay with sharing some of our garden with the wildlife, but the whole willful vandalism thing was what was torquing me off. Smart kid, but that definitely got the blank stare. Either that, or the earlier twelve-minute mad rant of profanity had overloaded his synapses…
*not his real name.
A short story:
So I’ve been picking tomatoes out of my garden for the better part of a month now (I’ve got about 3 gallons worth spread all over my kitchen awaiting processing) and I kept finding the occasional tomato that had obvious signs of being chewed on. Since they were small marks, I didn’t pay it much mind. I just cut the offending bits off, and since I was stewing the tomatoes anyway, I didn’t really worry about disease.
About 2 weeks ago I found my first half of a tomato. Yup. Looking at the tomato from the side I was picking it on, it looked perfectly fine, soon as I grabbed it, I realized that the little tomato culprit had perched on the deck railing and eaten all of the tomato that it could reach. So I started picking any tomato within reach of the deck early and let them ripen inside. I’d still miss a few, and find the odd half tomato. As a way of trying to keep the peace (and keep the tomato bandit away from my plants) I created a little pile of partially eaten tomatoes for him to focus on. That kinda worked, as the pile dwindled to nothing over a period of a week and the rest of my tomatoes were left alone.
Two days ago I go out to the raised garden to pick more tomatoes. I was excited because my giant beef steak that I’d been growing (weighed about 4 pounds) was going to be ready to pick. I get out to the garden and what do I see? A chipmunk perched on the giant beefsteak hovering over a large section of eaten tomato, looking at me as if to say, “What? Oh this? Totally wasn’t me. I was just investigating what happened here.” We stare each other down for a while before the cheeky little bugger WENT BACK TO EATING THE TOMATO!
I chased him off with a few profanities and did my best to salvage the rest of the tomato.
I know it’s easy to say because I’m not the gardener here, but I’m kind of amused by the chipmunk being so bold. On the other hand, I once heard of an older guy talking about his tomatoes and the squirrels eating them right out in the open. His phrase was “nervy bastards.” Maybe the lycopene makes them cheeky or something.
Yes, well in preparation for a garden I’ve been growing a couple of potted maters and peppers this year. Like you, TM, I’d pick a mater to find it half eaten….only my thief was a mockingbird! Caught the li’l bastid, red-beaked, one morning. He flew off the plant and up into a nearby branch where he proceeded to scold me loudly.
I had originally thought my thief was a bird, given the locations of the tomatoes being eaten. I only realized who the actual bandit was when I caught him in the act.
I’ve named him the Tam Burglar.
I’m with Lola. As obnoxious as I’m sure it was, that chipmunk was certainly a cheeky little bugger.
Those types of pests are not allowed in my garden, or yard for that matter. The dogs and cats see to them, they think bunnies are especially Nom Nom Nommy!
[true story] One of my neighbors (since moved away) made their yard into a bird sanctuary and had it certified by the state as such. At the time I had three outdoor cats who patrolled the neighborhood taking care of various vermin. One day i came home to a note in my mailbox that asked me (in not a nice way) to keep my (*&&%$^ cats in my yard because they were nabbing birds that came to the feeders in a “State certified bird sanctuary”…
This made me laugh, so later after dark, I put a note in their mailbox…”Please keep your birds out of my yard, it is a “cat sanctuary.”
Never heard anything back from them.[/true story]
Charlie the Chipmunk says, “My compliments to the gardener!!! Though the atmosphere is a bit lacking in this establishment, the food more than makes up for it.”
“The tomatoes here aren’t that great, but the portions are gargantuan!”
I heard chipmunk tastes like cat…
I have a magnificent red-tailed hawk what patrols my backyard, so I’m thinking bunnies will be the least of my issues. Now, if I could just turn the hawk on to the tasty mockingbirds…
My garden thief story goes like this:
The Eyebrow ranch has a fairly good-sized garden with lots of variety that produces a good amount of fruits and veggies throughout the year. This year, I put in a couple pumpkin plants. They were coming along nicely, about a foot tall and sprouting. One day, Mr. Eyebrows is outside futzing around our RV when he observes movement in the garden area. To his surprise, he sees a gopher come out of his hole, toddle over to a pumpkin plant, gnaw at the base, grab it and drag it back to his hole. Whole plant…gone. This was a large plant, people. Not some tender little shoot struggling to grow. Grrr.
*This gopher met with an unfortunate accident a few days later. It collided with a .410 shell. But, that’s another story.
I vote “Eyebrow Ranch” as the openers for “Flocking Slugs”.
Nibbling rabbit.
Sheesh…I’m all coreynstuff today…sigh…some days my snark stays home, in bed, where I should be.
CJ, those are the days you say things like Kitty! and Free snails with every slice of coffee today! 8) Snarky can have a silly side, too.
Twas brillig and the slithy toves!!!
Gummi Bears!
Manta Trowel!
Buy a couple of geckos, lizards and such. That’ll take care of the pests. We would only take a few vegetables as payment.
And they can save you 15% in 15 minutes or less on DDT.
His dog is poorly penned? That whole thing was poorly penned! Honestly, proof-reading, people! Though to his credit there have been much worse posted here, so I suppose I shouldn’t be so hard on him for his grammar. After all, he’s all about helping the environment by eliminating all manner of pesky veggie-eating life forms.
His garden is too good for mankind. It must be protected. It must be free. The vegetables must grow at all costs! Mother Nature must take back the land from those who took it from her! HIS CUCUMBERS WILL LIVE!
Save the Broccoli!!!!
Yeah! Save the environment! Fight the man! Buy a Six Dollar T-Shirt with “DDT means you love Mother Earth!” on it!
**winks at Mudsy, is blinded by how well-brushed Mindfield’s teeth appear to be.**
I think Mr. Winkey could use a nice application of DDT.
I think you’ll need stronger stuff to get rid of him. He’s actually Satan’s Lap Hobo, so if you can find a way to get rid of the resident soul-eating clown, you might be able to get rid of Elphias.
That’s easy!
*Gets out soap and water*
“Save the Chervil, Save the World”?
Well, if he DOES get his hands on the DDT, we could always hope that “The Silent Spring” was right and the resulting produce will leave Captain What The Fudge here unable to breed…
I’d love to see Sparky’s roadside veggie stand.
Fresh Organic DDT-Treated Veggies! Pasteurized Raw Milk Too!
Um, I’m not much of a gardener (nothing I planted this year came up, but I have one hell of a compost pile going for next year’s, uh, crop), but aren’t slugs and spiders good for gardens? Spiders eat aphids and other tiny pests, slugs do something good for the soil, right?
Now, slugs in my kitchen garbage can? Bring on the dangerous toxins!
Spiders are, slugs are not.
Spiders are awesome little predators that work for you. Slugs on the other hand are freeloading jerks who think eating entire broccoli heads is funny.
Yep. I have SEVERE arachnophobia and even I know that those eight-legged terrors are good for a garden. So I just don’t garden.
As for the slugs, yeah, they’re awful. They ate all my strawberries (the one time I decided to try to garden). We tried EVERYTHING. Well, except DDT.
The only thing we’ve even had a little luck with as far as slugs go is this stuff my dad found at a garage sale.
It had no label, the bottle looked like it came from the 70’s, and the only indication of the contents was the words “Slug Bate” written in sharpie marker on the bottle. It came out in this unwholesome looking oily-black sludge that even rain couldn’t dislodge. But it was the most effective slug killer we’ve ever used. We really don’t want to know what was in the bottle.
Otherwise I’ve always used beer traps. Works decent, and if nothing else it’s a way to get rid of your skunky beer.
I think we tried the beer traps. It got a few of them, but there were SO MANY at that house.
I live in the slug capital of the world, I got some chickens, they think slugs are really tasty along with Not.A.dandelions and most other weeds and bugs.
Hammie…chickens? Cool, son and d-i-l are currently looking at buying a house in the country. She wants chickens and a garden. I’ll have to tell her that she won’t need to worry ’bout feed….just turn ’em loose in the yard.
Taco – your description of the color makes me wonder if it was home kind of homemade nicotine extract (as nicotine can be used as an insecticide); distilled chewing tobacco spit or something equally toxic and shudder-inducing.
I do feed them a little, mostly so they get enough calcium to make their egg shells thicker.
In the winter I feed them a lot more.
They are really great bug catchers, they do like stuff in the garden too but I plant some cabbages just for them to eat, for whatever reason they like those over everything else.
Sounds like pure concentrated evil.
“So that’s what an invisible barrier looks like”
Whatever it was, slugs flocked in from all over the neighborhood to be poisoned by it.
I am imagining “flocking slugs.” I think the flocking effect could only be appreciated properly via time-lapse photography.
{slug corey} I tried something called “Sluggo” a couple of years ago. It consists of pellets made of iron phosphate. The slugs eat them and then go off to the slug graveyard to expire. Surprisingly, it seems to work, and my garden and deck have been mostly slug free for two summers now.
What is cool is that if you put a pile of the pellets in front of a huge slug, the slug will engorge itself on them until it develops an actual bulge. I suggest that better name would be “Slugcrack” {end slug corey}
Maybe they are Slugdactyls.
Yo, Joey, what are we gonna do about all dees flocking slugs?
You want I should shoot’em, boss!
Yeah, Joey, put some focking slugs in dees here flocking slugs!
Heh, heh. I like what you did dere Boss, with de slang name for bullets and de slimy little bug name.
Shaddup, Joey, and shoot da flocking slugs!
Right Boss!
In Soviet Russia, flock slugs you!
BTW, I think Flocking Slugs is the name of Irregular Fractal’s Flock of Seagulls cover band.
There! I killed two slugs with one stone.
Watching a chicken eat a slug is possibly one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It’s like giving a dog peanut butter.
Slug flocking is what goes on here in Portland after they’ve (the slugs) spent too much time in one of those beer traps. Their wild drunken flocking keeps me awake at night.
Sarajean – the trick to giving a dog peanut butter is to apply it to you toes or the bottoms of your feet. It gives the dog incentive while he massage your tootsies with his soft gooey tongue.
I usually only flock my slugs at Christmas time…
Personally I prefer using slug flocking to decorate only outdoor Christmas trees…
J-Dog and the new HamCan puppy are not only efficiently de-snarking me, I’m not even getting actual work done. (Going “AWWWW!” rather often does not help one’s concentration.)
Me too, Lola. I’ve been to busy to properly read and reply today, but I have been popping in to look at the pups.
Oh Ms. Lola,
You’ve made the J-Dog a very happy puppy today. Got peanut butter?
And still JD and HC manage to type while drooling over your avatar, Lola…
My feet are pretty ticklish, J-Dog, but I think we could work something out. 8)
My last cat liked peanut butter. I learned this one evening while eating some while sitting on the couch. He was deaf, so his other senses were perhaps a little sharper than most, and he climbed up in my lap to see what smelled so good. I said, “You don’t want any of this!” and offered a bit on my finger so that he wasn’t putting his face right up next to the crackers that had it on them. He proved me wrong, and ever after that whenever I had any, he got some. My current one has no interest whatsoever (Cheez-Its, however, are another story).
I think cats do a little better with peanut butter than do dogs due to the texture of their tongues.
*LicklicklickNomNomNom*
Wait your turn puppy!
What?
Ok, back to my corner…
My preferred slug removal method is salt.
So, HamCan and Taco are slug flockers…say that one five times fast.
I’d rather not.
Don’t knock it till you flock it!
Okay, what is “sanitizing the soil?” I’m sure it’s something simple and organic, but right now all I can picture is Sparky applying purell to his dirt.
There are a lot of ways to do it. The two most organic ways I can think of are:
A) Baking. Literally, you spread the soil out on a cookie sheet and bake it. I do this if I’m going to use garden soil for house plants. It kills pretty much everything in the soil, as well as helps to break down some of the organic matter for easy absorption.
B) Compost Baking. You basically put a hot compost pile on top of the bed and let it heat the soil up above where anything can survive. This is really difficult to do correctly. To the point that I don’t bother trying anymore.
Given that this guy is asking for DDT to use on his Organic garden, I would bet that he tried (and failed) to compost bake. If you don’t get your compost hot enough, you’ll have pretty much the same problem he had… you make things way worse.
I’d rather picture Sparky out in his garden, wearing a full hazmat suit, with a bottle of Lysol and a bucket.
Let’s hope he never has a Ranch.
He probably wouldn’t understand what it means to mate the animals.
They usually take care of that themselves, don’t they? It’s not like chickens require candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach.
Sarajean, how do we know that, really? I mean, they can get it on without that, but who’s to say that chickens wouldn’t do even better with candlelight and seaside jaunts?
Where’s the romace, SJ, where’s the romance?
[llama corey]
As somebody who spent some time on a llama farm (the farm bred llamas for sale) often times you have to encourage mating between ideal pairings. It’s not romance per se, but there is a lot of shouting “Go on now, go get ‘er” and patting down the flanks of both llamas to make them *ahem* excited.
[/corey]
Taco, that sounds like my Saturday date.
I’ve had both chickens and ducks and neither species seemed at all shy about the procreation process. They are in fact incredibly enthusiastic about it. I can still vividly remember the morning I went out to the pen to find a large white drake attempting to mate with a seriously pissed off bantam rooster.
I want a pet chicken, but I think the Town of Cary would throw a hissy fit.
They are hilarious, I’ve been out back the last few nights digging trenches for a landscape block wall. Every time I take a scoop of dirt they run in and snap up all the worms/bugs and then run like hell before the shovel comes back around.
Almost all cities allow two or three chickens(No roosters), there was just a news story in Seattle because they raised the limit from 3 to 6 chickens.
Speaking of Cary, I think this guy still has this up, and is therefore still paying a fine every day for it:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://simpsonsparadox.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/screwed-by-the-town-of-cary-simpsons-paradox1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://simpsonsparadox.com/2009/08/screwed-by-the-town-of-cary.html&usg=__o-lFrhOyIKu5uqeEGrC-uWC1fHs=&h=1728&w=2304&sz=950&hl=en&start=0&sig2=vRxHs0eO8ehp36cNW1ADFQ&zoom=1&tbnid=s2v5Hnynm6ysfM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=165&ei=6pF9TIm7DcSblgfqu7DsCw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dscrewed%2Bby%2Bthe%2Btown%2Bof%2Bcary%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D715%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=75&dur=990&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=146&ty=96&oei=6pF9TIm7DcSblgfqu7DsCw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0
The town of Cary is not known for it’s gentle and forgiving nature, it’s more like the Stepford of the South.
There are probably restrictions on what breed and color chicken you can get, you wouldn’t want the livestock clashing with the town.
Actually I do believe chicken keeping is illegal in Cary.
There are no Corey tags because I’m not sure.
Wanted: DDT — URGENT
*Anagram fun*
Dratted Dung Newt (What else would DDT be for?)
Wand Tent Trudged (This happens in the morning to Harry Potter…)
Dented Twang Turd (Musical bean shaped instrument?)
Dr. TNT Wedged A Nut (OUCH!)
I swear that line was here a second ago…
“Organic” in this case:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk
For all we know he could be asking for a Dry, Dog-eating Toad to get rid of the pests and pets without him having to install a pond. It’s about as logical as using a high-profile man-made pesticide on his organic garden.
I can’t think of anything to say, so I will say nothing.
::creeps out of lurker status::
Hmmm I wonder why all of those stores she tried were so -unwilling- to help her? Perhaps they were just out of DDT since it is such a popular “safe, environmentally friendly pesticide”?
“… safe, environmentally friendly pesticide …”
… banned nearly worldwide for three decades … yeah, nothin’ wrong with it!
Oh, gimme with Hair:
LBJ took the IRT
Down to 4th Street USA
When he got there
What did he see?
The youth of America on LSD
LBJ IRT
USA LSD
LSD LBJ
FBI CIA
FBI CIA
LSD LBJ
DDT?
OMGWTFBBQ? IDK, MYOB BFF.
WTF?
LOL!
And we devolve into LOLcats.
OMGWTFBBQ!!!
That’s all I can say.
And to think I didn’t change the words one bit.
That’s what drugs will do to you, boys and girls—why do you think they call it dope?
But the llama-nun was the first to think of it. What does THAT tell you?
😉
I believe I’ve showed y’all this before, but:
OMGWTFBBQ! For babies! New! Tasty!
Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain’t no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my…
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
This guy is in Portland? I would have guessed [xxxxxx] or possibly Ish.
[organic corey] Sparkey’s in for a big surprise when she decides to register her organic CSA with Oregon Tilth, the folks who certify organic agriculture in these parts.
[/corey]
However, on all future trips to the farmer’s market, I will be asking what types of “organic” chemicals and pesticides were used.
Really? My bet was on [other location]?
Although I could see him being from Ish, or some other part of Guatsusnake County.
It seems to me (and my avatar) that if the dogs are trampling your basil because they’re poorly penned, the correct solution is to pen the frigging basil, not to poison the dogs.
But free range basil gets used to all the open space and doesn’t produce nearly so well if you start penning it.
But free range pesto is so much tastier.
EDIT: Dang it, Taco.
We’ve all be in each other’s heads the last few weeks it seems.
I was wondering what that thong was that I found in my ear.
Thank you Mudsy for that disturbing image. I will now go poke out my mind’s eye…
It’s Taco’s fault. He leaves that thing laying around in the darndest places.
I’m gonna need that stick for my mind’s eye when you’re done with it, J-Dog.
We’ve all be??? Taco, have you been eating the DDT coated basil without washing it again?
*Om nom nom nom nom*
And’s it all my to, suckas!
You’re spelling gibberish now TM.
Incoherent, yes, but spelled properly. I’m not quite sure what to make of that. Now I’m afraid to be we’ve in Taco’s head.
54ty789 78qwqwe we4sqweraER 4gh54 OPx uioqrtty234qwe b78ghcvq q
(Translation: This is the hardest that I’ve laughed in quite a while.)
I never knew DDT was so selective, It appears to only kill 5% of stainless Puritan moths.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7b/DDT_jug.jpg
I hear it has a thing for moths with shoes with large buckles.
I’m watching The Core, because I think my brain has the same funny-not-responding-what-the-fruitcake that my muscles do. This movie is funny. You will probably get live-comments from the movie. I’ve never been drunk, but this might be kinda what it feels like… ish?
Also. Birds have eyes. They wouldn’t go all wonky just because one of their senses if funkdified.
Have you been into Moira’s mead today, EB?
No. But the core of the earth has stopped spinning! Planes will fall from the sky! The sun will kill us!
EB, Your boss just called and said quit watching stupid movies and get back to work on C.R.A.P!
I thought about going to work today anyways, but that’s when I thought that free lunch was today. Lunch is tomorrow, so it’s all good.
I went to work today and thought about working, but that’s when I thought the boss was in today. Turns out he’s out today in tomorrow…
“I call it unobtanium” AHahhahahaha….
You took that kitchen cleaning job, didn’t you?
Kinda what it feels like…
HAhahaha, it’s the kid with the big nose…
Did you forget your medication today EB?
Or do you have the flu or something? 🙁
I haven’t taken my bummy bear vitamins yet. Maybe it’s the flu… I don’t feel feverish, just sore throat, headache, loopyness, and muscle-failure.
Sounds like lack of coffee.
Err, “gummy bear.” Also, apparently I’m a cat again…
Why, this bum would be more than happy to show you his bummy bear!
**winks at EB, whistles loudly.**
Pedobear! Come on over, EB and any relatives of hers that happen to be minors want to meet you!
*Hands EB some chicken soup and a flask of beverage of choice*
Sorry you’re under the weather. Is it wrong that I’ve found you rambling awesomely funny?
Oh my gosh, I don’t even know if I can watch this movie. It’s terrible!
Just play MST3K with it, you can borrow my two robo…err nevermind.
*Slinks into the corner*
I annoy the crap out of TacoMa’am doing that. Both with horrible movies and ones she’s actually trying to enjoy.
It’s a hobby of mine too, the ushers usually throw me out half way through the movie though…
TM, I do the the MST3K thing, too, but only with awful (read: most) movies…until I get everyone in the room laughing so hard they can’t hear the dialogue.
Then, I leave…and tell them I don’t know how anyone’s supposed to enjoy a movie with a bunch of laughing hyenas in the room.
Says something about us that we watch enough of those bad boys that I can do this on a regular basis.
:makes mental note to pick up “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” on the way home tonight:
One of my favorite things to do, it annoys pretty much everyone I’ve ever gone to the movies with. Now that I have Netflix I can heckle from the comfort of my own futon.
CJ – If you rent Return of the Killer Tomatoes you have the added bonus of ogling a very young George Clooney.
My wife and I rent a fair number of horrible movies just so I can get my agression out on them (well… any agression that’s left over after a spin through my collection of violent video games).
In recent history we’ve had some BAD ones:
•Sharks in Venice (Ye Gods, talk about bad!)
•Ice Pirates (Upon watching it I realized I had seen this one in my youth and liked it. Just further proof that we’re very stupid when we’re young)
•Barbarella (The only redeaming thing about this movie was the nudity at the beginning)
•Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell
•Time Barbarian
•Starry Night (Vincent Van Gogh as played by Torgo)
I’ve got a bunch more (too many to list) queued up on my Netflix. We also take a stroll to the local cheapo video rental joint to look for anything awful that just jumps out at us.
Also, if you haven’t watched it and like the bad movies (or making fun of them) the Trancers series is not to be missed.
Amazon Women in the Avacado Jungles of Death and The Blob are my personal favorites. Amazon Women is more of a mock B-movie, but it’s funny and has Bill Mahr in it.
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death is the first DVD I ever owned. Granted, that’s ’cause it was a gift before I owned a DVD player, but still.
“Bolero” will never be the same.
SAYWHAT?????
Change a few letters at the end of Nymphoid and, if my translator is correct, you have a very bad porno, I believe.
CLOUDS DON’T APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE! *ahem* Geezaloo… Poor Rome, though.
Watching MST3K definitely prepared me for YSaC. I still love Joel.
I’m team Mike!
I liked Mike’s dry sarcasm more than I liked Joel’s sillyness.
Taco: Have you seen Birdemic?
I always got a soft spot for the silly boys—until I have to smack them. 😉
No I don’t think I have. Unless MST3K did it, then I have seen it but don’t remember.
Either way I’ll have to see if Netflix has it.
It’s been voted the worst movie ever. Bring the Pepto Abyssmal.
I don’t know. It’s got some strong competition.
I’ve seen Plan 9 from Outer Space, Battlefield Earth, and You Got Served. Those are hard movies to beat (For their own individual reasons).
Google it. I’d give Astro a warning on that Google-suggestion but for completely different reasons.
And you know me about my policy on Google warnings…
Wow, a movie that managed to get a lower rating on IMDB than Blood Gnome, You Got Served (Half a point anyway), Battlefield Earth(2/10ths of a point), AND Plan 9. I gotta get my hands on a copy of that!
It’s still is rated better than Manos: The Hands of Fate, which to me has always been the movie to beat. It’s held the #1 spot in my bad movies line up ever since I watched the full non-MST3K version.
Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell recently usurped the #2 spot from Battlefield Earth.
Have you tried RiffTrax? It’s the same guys that did MST3K, but they riff on more modern, widely available movies. The commentary track is an mp3 that you play while watching the movie. It makes watching Twilight and Paranormal Activity bearable.
Indeed we have. It’s got primary Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy, but a lot of the Sci-Fi era cast shows up for the Riffing. I think his wife, Bridgette Nelson (Who was one of the co-writers for MST3K) also did a few with him.
So far one of my Favorite Rifftrax is Eragon. Made the movie nearly watchable. If only he could have riffed the book while I was reading it.
Last I heard, Joel Hodgenson was doing Cinematic Titanic Live around the country. But his videos are way less affordable than Mike’s Rifftrax, and the tickets to the live show are rather expensive too.
I totally forgot that Bill Corbet (Sci-Fi era Crow/Brain Guy) also does a lot of the Riffing. He actually joined the riffing group about a year after Mike started the company if memory serves.
The name (HamCan) sorta came from MST3K, in an indirect inside joke kinda way.
Hamdingers?
Only saw MST3K once, briefly, having stumbled on it by accident about 10 years back on some cable channel over here. It was like watching a film with my friends – I’ve looked out for it regularly ever since but it never seems to be on. One of the best films to give the treatment to is League of Extraordinary Gentlemen – total codswallop. Dorian Gray’s fake plastic chest is the best actor in it.
Nope,
There was one movie (I wish I could remember the name) they spoofed where they had the lead character always looking for ham…A female friend was over watching with me and she was lamenting how she was losing her “hourglass” figure and her hind end was getting larger…
I said, “You lost your hourglass and found a hamcan” which was very funny in the context of the movie (I had to run from thrown things while I laughed though) so from then on somehow I got stuck with the name HamCan, should of been her me thinks!
😀
This seemed fitting. All the MST3K fans, sing along!
In the not-too-distant future
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Sparky,
Who was searching for DDT.
He worked to grow veggies and fruit,
But the buggies kept eating all his loot.
He did a good job fumigating the place,
But then claimed he farmed organic
Can I punch him in the face?
We’ll make some snarky comments,
About “organic pesticide” (la-la-la).
He may be able to write and spell,
but he’s clearly lost his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind we can’t control
Where the stupidity begins or ends (la-la-la)
Because without this asshat Sparky
The Craigslist mocking ends.
SpamBot Roll Call:
Spambot! [Not Found!]
Movie! [Titanic!]
Airosmith! [Error: Not Found]
Uh oh! *TACOSPLOOOOODE!*
If you’re wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, “God only knows,
I hope offspring he lacks!
It’s You Suck at Craigslist 775!”
Manda, I do believe you just won the internets.
I won the internets? Cool! Oooh – they’re so shiny!
I wonder what this button does. It says “divide by zer-
Sounds like you’re having a similar reaction to that movie as I did to “The Day After Tomorrow.”
There was another movie where the Earth was jumped by a sudden ice age that I had the same reaction to. For the life of me though, I can’t find the name of the movie. It might have been a Sci-fi original. Either way it was bad. Really bad.
Someone start a thread in the forums for their favorite RiffTrax. Please?
I’ve never listened to one but I loved the MST3Ks I caught and this sounds awesome!
Haha, Stanley Tucci makes a great crazy guy. He was a great crazy guy in Big Trouble. In other news, I think Lola’s right, I probably have the flu… apparently I am feverish. Enjoy! :-p
That would explain why you’re posing like I do before I have my coffee.
Whew, not a pretty sight.
Apparently I try to pose all sexy before my coffee.
That’s totally what I meant, too.
Get Low!
Oooh, I loved Big Trouble! A vastly underappreciated movie.
Big Trouble definitely a good wacky,
First of all, “plaguing me” look very odd to me. I’m still not convinced it’s correct, despite Firefox not giving it a red underline.
Secondly, [chemistry rant] what non-organic plants does anyone expect to grow in a garden? I would hope they’re all carbon-based!
On the same note, I was in the grocery store yesterday and saw “carbon-free” sugar. So, that’s water, right? Grr. [/rant]
I hear you on that one, AR. I have a small seizure when people talk about the evils of genetic engineered food and that we all should eat organic everything.
It’s all I can do not to scream at them: “We’ve been genetically engineering food for over 6 millennia, dumbass! And all ‘organic’ means is ‘made of carbon’!”
Instead I just spontaneously burst into flame. Doesn’t get the point across nearly as well, but it makes me feel better.
Corn is genetically engineered! Dogs are genetically engineered! Someday we’ll be genetically engineered!
Astro, we are genetically engineered. Notice how we have oppose-able thumbs? And are able to run on 2 legs? And breathe oxygen? And I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea and it’s probably better for my blood pressure to go think about something else.
Hey, this drives me nuts too!
Especially when people start trying to explain dog behavior and genetics by comparing them to a wolf. Dogs are no more like a wolves then a cows is like gazelles.
Dogs are probably the very oldest domesticated species, I hear breeders all the time try explaining how dogs got to be so diverse in terms of “natural selection.” People, please! As soon as humans started breeding for specific traits there is no more “natural selection” Dog breeds did not evolve, we engineered them and have been doing so for over 10,000 years.
[/rant]
I feel better now 🙂
“Attention! Tacosplode in Produce, Aisle 4. All available personnel for clean up. If you are near that section of the store, please take the detour through canned goods that has been marked for your convenience. Thank you.”
I wonder if the kitchen cleaning lady has come up for air yet.
Nope, and those dam’ slacking addle-brained dopers are passed out on the floor of the kitchen again!
(There’s kumquat-jalapeño jelly on the rice cake crumbs!)
I do pretty much the same thing. When I found the “carbon-free” sugar, there happened to be a friend of a friend nearby whom I had met once or 2ce before, and I had to point it out. It was too painful to keep inside. She only sort of understood the problem.
Also, I wrote an article about how GM =/= evil for a class a couple years ago. It’s too long to post here, but it’s in my notes on FB if you’re interested.
You Tacosplode?
Not quite that messy, but bits of my brain end up in the oddest places…
Malo! Back from tropical overseas-ness and went to the supermarket to stock up on foods and things – saw a display of “Diet Water”. 0_0
And on the GM/GE thing, I remember having some politicians come to talk to us before an election when I was in sixth form (US Grade 11, I think? Second-last year of school, anyhow, so not all of us could vote, but it was Educational, somehow) and someone asked the Green candidate about the difference between GM and GE, as labelling or not of GM foods was a biggie at that election. He tried to explain it by saying that GE is what we’ve done for years, whereas GM “is like, say, injecting a tomato with frog genes” at which point the other three candidates (mid-left, mid-right and wacky-nutbar-loopy-right) joined together to proclaim from their seats he was mad and no-one was trying to create frog-matoes. My classmates unanimously decided we weren’t voting for the three muppets, and all promptly turned into leftie greenie pinkie liberals*. The end.
*This may not be true**.
**Because most of us were already.
They’re Pinky and The Brain, they’re Pinky and The Brain, One is a genius, the other’s insane…
Narf! Favourite cartoon ever, which I think says a lot about me.
I think that Pinky was really the genius, by the way.
Update: I put the article in the fora. Now you have no excuse not to read it. ; )
I’d totally go see the Frog-Matoes play at the 40 Watt.
The “misleading truth in labeling” that I most love to hate is when some packager sticks a great big “FAT FREE” star on a package of carrots or oranges. They don’t seem to do it with “cholesterol free” as often as they used to which is good because that was even stupider.
Well,it’s legal. As long as the serving size is not 0.6g of fat, the serving is said to be fat free by “rounding.” The marketing people are then allowed to label the package as if the entire contents were fat free.
Still waiting for strudel dough to be labled as fat free–sering sice would have to 1.1g, but, still . . .
Legal? Yes. Informative? No. Oranges are always fat-free. On chips or yogurt, the sticker has a point, but not on fruit or veggies.
On the topic of creepy crawlies in one’s garden, I notice someone (Taco?) posted a pic of a weta in response to the discussion of crazy frightening beasties a few posts back. They’re pretty common here (though still entirely terrifying) and my friends have found that their flat has a wannabe-pet weta with a sweet tooth. It was found in the kitchen one morning, spreadeagled in the icing of a cake which had been left out overnight and, being eco-friendly people, they scooped it up, put it outside and gave the affected cake to co-workers they didn’t like very much. But the next morning, it found its way in again and sat on someone’s jammy toast. They think it wants to be an inside weta. *shudder*
Eco-friendly is one thing, but do your friends not believe in, say, window screens? I would think investing in one would solve their “pet” problem.
*shudders sympathetically*
We don’t really have them in Enzed (never really gets hot enough to need the windows open all the time) and one of their windows is kind of wedged open due to a particularly tenacious tree/creeper/thing which also wants to become an indoor friend.
Hmm, I’m worried I’m making it sound like I live in a totally arse-backwards mud-hut society. It’s not, we just don’t have anything dangerous or large enough* to require hermetic sealing of our living spaces.
*Apart from teenagers, but a quick BB to the tenders stops them pretty quick, and they’re not exactly stealth.
I live in a blocky apartment building in the midst of near-indistinguishable block apartment buildings. Even if you did actually live in a mud hut, I still wouldn’t think that was arse-backward (clearly, it’s a mud hut with net access). It sounds attractive at the moment. As does not being hot enough to need screens. We’re in the middle of another heat wave, and I’m tired of them.
I’m amused that your friends are letting the branch into their house as well as the weta. If they aren’t fussed about the branches and bugs, then I guess they don’t need a screen. I might, just on principle, though, if those critters were about … they’re bigger than roaches, which are bigger than I can deal with (though I now know that I might be able to fend them off with Cheetos).
Seriously would love to live in Australia, especially some place with a cool name like Enzed.
Isn’t that were male enhancement products are made, no? well anyway…I’d be less trouble then a Weta and I have PUPPIES!!
*Disclaimer, Cheetos may not kill or fend off roaches unless the roaches are contained in a toroidal clear plastic tube* (results may vary)
Sorry Hamcan, Enzed is colonial-speak for New Zealand (NZ – we pronounce ‘z’ as ‘zed’… yeah). Close to Australia but as much a part of it as Canada is America. I prefer it ‘cos our biggest native predator is a sweetly bemused-sounding owl which freaks out if you sneeze 5km away, whereas in Aus, even the freakin’ rocks are alive and out to kill you.
Due to my gender and age, I am mercifully unaware of where “male enhancement products” are manufactured, or even what they are. Dickie bows, perhaps? What? Eleven has made them cool again.
Woohoo! I have finally posted a comment with links massive enough to require moderation! I’m a little sad that I can get excited about that, but it’s Wednesday, so I’ll take what I can get. 🙂
If crickets are considered good luck as pets and weta are rather like gighugic crickets, wouldn’t adopting one (and sticking it in a cage with jammy bread) bring you massive amounts of good luck?
…and it would keep it OFF your other food items.
Well, they do also make cricket-y noises by rubbing their tummies, so I guess they could be considered huge good-luck charms, plus, some species eat other, smaller and less frightening insects so there’s that, too.
‘Course, when you find one in your gumboot, or worse, inside the jumper you just put on, good luck seems less important than the “OHGODOHGOD get it off me get if off me it has spiky legs and oh god I just wet myself a little getitoff!!” sensation of something prickly and large trying to climb up your neck. So I hear. [/scaring myself Corey]
ETA: Actually, I think I’d be scared that if you put a weta up in such luxury as its own cage _and_ jammy bread, all its mates would be around pretty quickly to see if they could score such sweet accomodation as well.
Rats! No one new in the Don’t Suck box. I am giving an honorary punch to SiverDragon! The link to the llama from the state fair was very special! Here’s the post if you missed it:
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=5220#comment-62410
Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Rancheros!
Thanks, Windrose. Blame the beginning of the semester. I’ll try to keep up.
Urmmm… I believe the stuff you are looking for is called DE (diatomaceous earth–a fine powder made from diatom shells that kills most bugs). But kudos for taking the wrong term and just running full hog with it!