YSaC, Vol. 734: Three seats to the wind …
Set of three Counter Stools – $30
For sale are three, solid maple counter stools with cane seats. Stools have a antique white finish and are 41″ high by 18″ wide. Cane seat is 25″ high and stools will fit a standard 36″ high counter or raised dining table. They are about 7 years old and are in very good condition. They will make a great addition to any kitchen or dining area. Stools were originally purchased for $349 each and can be yours for $30 each or take all three for $100. Please ask any and all questions.
*raises hand*
Yes, I have some questions.
First — do whales dissolve?
Second — there’s three of those … and they’re $30 each, or … er, is this the new math, or something?
3 books for accounting – $100
I am selling 3 books for accounting. Each one 30$ My phone number is: xxxxxxxxxx
Oh. Huh. I guess it IS the new math. Or at least the new accounting. Maybe this is how the banks got so screwed up. Thanks, Jean and Kate!
I am suddenly feeling both sad for the human race as a whole and a little better about my own not-terribly-stellar math skills.
The price for each stool and book start with a 3. The price for sets of three start with a 1, which is less than 3. Therefore, you are saving money if you buy them in sets.
Seems pretty reasonable to me.
If you buy all the books and the stools, then it adds up to 6 and 2, so you can save 4 times as much.
I’m gonna go search for some six sided octagon tables to see how many extra sides I can pick up – the bargains are just flying today!
So do I need a new Tacoulator to do this math? I tried my catulator, it made this really bad screeching noise and hid under the bed.
You have to watch out for those Tacoulators. They require a lot of coffee to run and have this small problem with random explosions when you hit the equals key.
Otherwise they’re solid.
What happens to those of us with “coffee issues”? Could I use “diet coke”?
(yes everything is Coke around here as in “What do you want to drink?” … I’ll have a coke.” … “What kind do you want?” …. “I’ll have a Mountain Dew.”).
It’d probably run on Mountain Dew, but you may have to deal with some mild performance issues.
I hear there are leakage issues if you don’t drain them frequently.
**Gets out Catulator.**
((41×18+25)3^(Cane÷Maple))÷(3(7))=(3-7e^-30(-7))-100^Catnip
Lesse… I’m getting…
The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.
That seems right to me.
Meredith would be proud were she still among us.
*Sees Meredith coming in the door*
Don’t tell her I said that.
I think your calculation is a little off. You forgot to factor in the white finish, so:
((41×18+25)3^(Cane÷Maple)^White)÷(3(7))=(3-7e^-30(-7))-100^Catnip = Bagpipes.
Interestingly, if you multiply that by 3(accounting) you get Horatio Caine. That must mean something.
Ooh – good job, Mindfield! I like bagpipes.
Horatio Caine
The Caine Mutiny
Sugar Cane
Hurri Cane
(Darn kids on the lawn)
Where’s my Cane?
Astro, you need to factor in the accounting books raised to the 4th power of catnip. Divide that by the squeaky mousey and then the answer is–
Liverwurst and pickled herring sammiches…..
(attempts to mush catulator with accounting book, catulator hides under couch, hissing.)
Grampdaddy, you must have the same version catulator that I do. I wonder how we can upgrade to the version Astro and Mindfield have …. goes searching for the milk …. barrows Grampdaddys cane … where’s those darn kids put the milk this time …
My catulator has decided the rug under the coffee table is cooler than the wood floor, and has curled up there, with a Bed, Bath & Beyond catalog for a pillow.
It was clearly too much effort to half roll over and have that one back leg stuck in the air, so it’s propped against a table leg.
I. Understood. All. Of. That. Post. Capn.
Yippee! There will be skating in hell tonight!
OMG…mudsy!! You are right! Holy crap, Capn! We’ve found a common language and it’s name is “cat”…Now, kindly go back and re-post all your wisdom in cat, kthxbai
Head-butt, rub, rub. Spring away! Race back, ankle swat!
Walk past then plop on floor, “Rrrr’a’rr’ah?!”
Roll over, wash foot. Wash other foot.
Stand up.
“MROW!” “M’lo’o’oOHoouuu’ Ah?”
Flop on floor.
“rrrrh`!”
(From just a few minutes ago–an entire paean on this clear crime against Felinity which is insisting that 2235 Is Not 2300, and time for Supper!–ooh, that toe needs washing.)
Astro, you forgot to factor in the ant on the Möbius strip.
That can really throw off the liverwurst bottom line.
You use liverwurst? Mine works best on whitefish salad.
whitefish—only if I’m going to use the Catalina dressing.
I discovered the whitefish tip during Lent one year. (My catulator is a roamin’ Catolic. And kind of a medieval one – he’s big on indulgences, too.)
Roamin’ catolic.
!elebenty +++ meows!!
He’s pretty strict – when not performing cat-lic(k) abl(so)utions, he also likes to go in the kitchen when I’m away and engage in Counter Reformation.
I’m always yelling at mine to get off the counter reformation.
She looks at me like, “Oh yeah, who’s gonna make me. You and what army?”
Astro,
Your Marvin the Martian reference earns you a couple doors. To where do you want them sent?
Please send them to 4^x Not.A.Lion. Blvd., [location], Kclhm.
Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!
All hail Agstronash Emiritus Professor of CatMath at YSaC university. We are not worthy.
First time commenting, so please be nice. 🙂 I think it may be a good idea for Sparky the accountant to hang onto these books.
I’ll be nice on one condition:
Are you $30? ’cause I need a new stool.
With a name like TacoMagic, I would think you would already have Lou Stool. Try some Fiber One, should firm things up a bit 🙂
Coincidentally, yes I am. I’m also 41″ high and 18″ wide. I fit well under a raised dining table as well. My wife, daughter and I are available for your services for the low low price of $100.
I think you’ll fit in here just fine.
Ah – Lou – just a suggestion… Do NOT offer your wife and daughter to Taco, under any circumstances. It will not go well. Trust me, it will not go well.
Bwehehe.
Welcome, Lou Stool. Pull up a commode and have a rest. Or take a load off. Or….
Hey, how about some help here Taco?
I like your suggestions. Although the first is great, I prefer #2. 🙂
We like to see some movement around here… er…
I’m sure you’ll make a big splash with the locals… er…
SJ, halp!
Gee, I’d love to help, but I’m blocked right now.
Well, this thread’s going to die a real quick death.
Yeah, especially since we’re completely surrounded by stoo-
The return of cat math. Feels like home.
Accounting books for sale – $30 each or 3/$100. My professors don’t think I have what it takes to be an accountant. I don’t know why.
Ought to complete the course, though – could work for the government (either national or state).
That was my thinking – either government, or “too big to fail” bank. (Catmath would explain a lot about mortgage-backed securities, I think.)
[financial corey] not securities backed by mortgages, but packages of “no one wants to keep them” mortgage notes dolled (possessed doll) up into “commodities.”
Was a flagrant abuse of GAAP. Start-up lender needed capitol to begin lending against. Sharp (as in patent snake oil trader) operator took the least best mortgages (but not the escrow accounts) and “sold” them to the start-up. Start-up then sent to (then) Treasury, to give full faith, etc. and loaned against the “capitol.” Then, when the notes started being more loss than gain, they were packaged up and put out like a commodity, usually with a mark-up.
That last bit is very egregious. Goes like this, I need capitol, I can buy all these 50¢ notes for 75¢, then use them like they are worth $1. Then, when some percentage comes in at 33-44¢ I’ll flog them off for $1.10-1.50–doubled my money (had to the chicks are not for free).
Next, some deeper pockets types then got the rules bent to really collect these uncollectables, and then treat them like commodities and sell them “short.” As with most people in commodities, they are rich beyond need for income; does not bother them to trade in other people’s misery. Short-selling marginal mortgage notes is betting on the failure and foreclosure of those notes. Which ought to be a crime in my book. It’s trading in other people’s misery, and for profit–far, far too close to profiting in people as chattel.
Oh, the escrow account part, above? The escrow portion goes into your bank. Looks just like income. It’s 12 payments and only the one withdrawal per year. This can make a bank’s books look good. When you sell the rest of the note, that note-holder is stuck with the collection costs, too.
[/corey]
A door for your very coherent explanation of this travesty.
It absolutely ASTOUNDS me that otherwise rational people claim that we don’t need government regulation to keep collapses from happening. The belief that the “free market system” will fix everything is either predicated on the assumption that people will take long-term and hidden costs into consideration when making pricing and purchasing decisions (which is patently not true) or it accepts large-scale collapses and the resultant suffering as not being undesirable outcomes.
Now, I do have to admit to generally taking the line that nature perseveres, life (and probably the human race) will continue and everything else is cyclic so suck it up…
But even with that general outlook, I would still much prefer that we try to rein in the greed and stupidity that anyone with half a brain should be able to tell will cause widespread personal chaos.
At a previous job, we handled material with very brief descriptions of some of the client activity. After I left there, the terms “collateralized debt” and similar began appearing in the news. I realized that the work that had gone on was very likely related to this type of activity.
It still makes me feel a little ill. Being even the tiniest cog in that is not something I would have chosen, had I known. The good news is that I am gone and wouldn’t go back at gunpoint.
The worst part about the whole fiasco is that a group of friends and I (as well as many other collegiate groups) predicted the collapse back in 2003 when we noticed some inconsistencies in the housing market.
The big tip off was that the housing market assessment numers were growing 200% faster than cost of living (IE housing prices were growing way faster than they should be compared to economic gains). Since this didn’t make sense to us we decided to look at mortgages. Once we started digging we discovered much of what Capn just described.
It was made worse by the method which the states use to determine housing prices: They look at the history of what a similar house sells for, and extrapolate the selling price using a linear line plot. They DON’T (at least in Wisconsin) look at how much you actually pay for the house, nor do they adjust for current trends (You know, doing scary math stuff like using economic models, or polynomial line fits). Seriously. That’s why even after the housing market collapsed, houses were still appraising for 10-15% above what they were actually worth and actually selling for.
Heck, my house still appraises for 10% more than I could ever sell it for. This is great for the state because they tax the appraisal number rather that what it’s actually worth on the market. It’s like taxing somebody’s income based on what the government feels they should be making, rather than what they actually make.
Note: Most of these groups I mentioned, mine included, wrote to our senators pleading with them to do something before it all blew up. It was heartening to see that they listened to us and took action*, preventing an economic collapse.
*This may not be true.
I should mention that the reason appraisal prices were growing so fast wasn’t actually because houses were selling for more. Rather it was because the debt was being traded around as per Capn’s explanation. It basically fooled the appraisal market into thinking that the mortgages were actually worth the appraisal value rather than the appraisal reflecting actual house sale value.
It was pretty easy to spot when you compared the appraisal lists for Wisconsin and California to the actual house sale prices over a period of 2 years. It sends up a pretty large red flag when those two numbers are hugely different (it was way worse in California).
My group got started on the little project by some guys (geeks) we talked to online from the UCLA who’d noticed the discrepancy in LA housing prices and wanted us to check Milwaukee. I think I remember that somebody at the UCLA turned it into a Master’s project.
*trips over pile of [housing corey]s and [/housing corey]s*
Now where did those come from? Did they fall out of a post somewhere?
Taco They DON’T (at least in Wisconsin) look at how much you actually pay for the house, nor do they adjust for current trends (You know, doing scary math stuff like using economic models, or polynomial line fits).
I hate to state the obvious ….. look at the math skills most of the CL posters have (1 + 1 = 3 in cases of very large instances of 1). I think spelling “economic model” let along actually understanding a using one is way beyond most peoples skills set.
Gets down off from soapbox and turns the floor back over to Taco & Captn …. looks for catulator under bed and wonders if we should start using these in elementary school.
Well, there is something to be said for the idea of teaching out youngest to properly interact with catulators and dogulusae, perhaps some of our smaller creatures would treated better in later life.
[more RE corey] When the federal government instructed local lenders to find ways to demonstrate they were not “red lining” ever, not once at all, never no how, no crossed fingers or king’s X ever (no matter how economically unfit the mortgagees might be) they created a number of new financing products. Which only got worse when Freddy and Fanny started allowing finance companies (like GMAC, as Countrywide, behind a Chinese wall at first) to enter into the mortgage biz. Thus was born the stacked buy, or as better known, the 80/20.
This was very clever in some ways. It’s a standard, no PMI, 80% mortgage note for a house. Nothing new there, old-fashioned, almost. The trick part was the 20% “second mortgage” on the exact same property. Thus, you could own a house with nothing more than a decent credit score and a few signatures and closing costs (less with some chutzpah and gall).
Ok, for true first-time buyers, this is probably better than the undisclosed promissory note from some relative for the down-payment.
When used by some parents to have their college-frosh chilluns to buy rental properties, each using that first time buyers’ benefits, then it edges over towards sleazy a bit. When those houses are 3 & 4 bedroom houses and the other tenants were charged the going rent rate (4/3, 4/2 rents for around $1000 in my town) that getting a bit more icky. Sleaze factor increases when both notes are VARs with 4 year fixed periods, and the 20% note is interest-only–your kid graduates, and you dump the house on some other schmo. Kid does not graduate, you have the house you set up for the other kid. Or some such.
Now, about the same time as all this happened, every third show on the DIY and Home channels was on how easy it was to make ludicrous profit flipping houses–shoot, coat of pain and some questionable DIY and done in a half hour, how hard can that be?
Now, this is where some discrimination, against those with fundamental misunderstandings of math, would have paid in spades. Instead, the flippers went into the lowest-priced properties, did a tv-makeover, and put upscale price tags on the property. The flippers loved interest-only VAR 80/20 notes. Then lenders liked that the flippers usually had some previous house note for “history.” Local RE loved flippers as they would go into the poorest neighborhoods (and generate ever more sales commissions). What’s not to love?
Except, after a while, the flippers were buying previously flipped properties. Well, gee, after a while, new cabinets and a new coat of paint are not worth an additional $50-55K on the sale price 4 weeks later.
Oh, and eventually, those VARs caught up, too. So, the bank’s books are not showing actual profit, just paper profit. The last flipper was discovering that, yes, those are still fundamental flaws in the house and will prevent a real sale. Oh, and that house still will not rent, even to people in the neighborhood (as they still remember why it did not rent last year). So, the beater shack that sold for $50K, then flipped for $75k to then be flipped again at $95K was still a maybe-$45K and new paint and major problems shack.
Smarter lenders were selling those 80/20 notes in bulk bundles to people far far away (so the addresses would make them shake their heads). Even when the rules tightened to 80/10/10 notes, that last 10% was “leveraged’ meaning it was another flipped house, duplex or apartment.
When the bottom fell out of that market, it was about the same time as the subdivision financing market changed (yet another, different, diatribe). Flippers basically could walk away. Even if a given lender could backtrack a flagrant scofflaw, usually their own house was not collateral for any notes. Who then to get the money from? Freddy, Fannie? Nope, we have no guarantees for you, we merely finance “opportunity” not “failure.” FDIC? Well, yes, for some of it.
Now, if the the mortgage market had been allowed to convulse, it probably would have sorted out most of this. Ok, with some awful, heart-rending, tear-jerking TV to lash politicos with; nut the bad bankers, the bad lenders, and the bad note-takers would have been the big losers. But wait, some hugely-rich people were still invested in economic entities which had to fail, or the richie was going to not reap a huge profit.
And such richies are thick as thieves with politicos (or are of the political class themselves). So, let’s make this a big political deal. Which also drug the process out a bit to increase the “short” in the market. This created an evil mix. Real people hurt by the financial crush of the failures. The shorted commodities meant they were toxic to even the “good” notes capitalizing banks. Government was agitated, and Something Must Be Done–being government, it had to be simple fast, and not very well thought out.
So, we devalued the entire banking system. As if the system was the problem. Used to be, you lent a mortgage on the theory that the property was worth more than the note. For years and years, this was so true, you could lend $4 for every $1 you had in mortgages. Enough money you could let people start lines of credit against their own equity (stupid and CL-sparkylike, but so is playing roulette for profit). But, Something Had To Be Done, and it Cannot Be Us in Gub’mint Did it!
So, clamp the banks. You can only lend $1.50 per $1 mortgage note, which is now reduced to $1.26 per $1 and may be reduced again.
In a word, this is Bad.
How bad is in how a DINK couple with $125-225K combined income and high 700 credit scores and 20% down probably cannot get a mortgage right now. (This is also why the current mortgage rates are so low; might as well offer $100/# for passenger pigeon down.) Home Improvement note? Nope.
Side effect of foot-on-lending-neck, suppose one of your ‘good’ notes goes ‘bad’? Your bank has between $1.25 & $1.50 loaned out on that mortgage dollar. Foreclosure market is so bad, that mortgage dollar is lucky to come back as 25¢, which is not helping “hold up” the $2.25 in capital the bank is basing its worth upon. So, it’s almost better to “pretend” the mortgage is paid for. To the point that there is a mantra in banking going around: Pretend; Extend, & Don’t Lend.
Now, that’s really tough sledding if a person wants to expand their business. Or start a new one, or otherwise engage folks in the planning and design services. It’s horribly regressive, too. Which has a redoubling effect. Especially since the public sector only has money collected from taxes and fees paid by the private sector.
This is not “good” by any stretch of definition. It used to be my profession, selling design and planning services. May not be again in my lifetime.
[/corey]
I don’t know Manda, I think if I were his professor I’d pass his stools.
What?
I believe after he worked it out with a pencil during the last exam, they were concerned that things would not be okay in the end.
Maybe I should try a pencil next time, I usually use a pen to work things out but that often leads to accidents.
What?
That’s…… just disturbing.
3 accounting books
3 stools; maple and wicker
30; 100?
Wich Whicker?
or
Which Wicker?
Whoops; wicker.
Woops Whicker?
Quit playing with your wickers, boys!
Or at least go to your room and close the door… yeesh.
No way, we saw what happened to HHNF and GrahamT! You’ll not kill us off that easy!
Plus, Gramps hogs the bed.
I get to be on the top (bunk)!
Woops Whicker, Woops Whicker, Woops Whicker, Woops Whicker, Woops Whicker…
That gets really funny the more you say it. *shuffles away, giggling*
Who says I’m trying to kill you off?
I think the time has come Taco, to have ‘The Talk’. See, it’s polite and respectful to keep your wickers and your knickers and the wands and the orbs covered until you meet that special someone.
Most people get embarrassed when you’re waving that stuff around, so if you must play with it… do it in the privacy of your own room so you don’t poke someone’s eye out. The insurance won’t cover accidents like that.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Gramps for adding the word “bunk”.
I would have had nightmares otherwise.
Yeah, that one word made it all sunshine and kitten whiskers.
I’m gonna go fire up the Brain Bleach Jacuzzi.
Stop, I need to wash that awful nick Cage movie out of my head again . . . Ni! Ni! Ni!
Ummm…Sparky? If you paid $349 each for those stools you overpaid by about $300 a piece or $1,000 total.
Hey…I think those new accounting books I bought are really working don’t you?
I’m going to work for Bear Stearns, or maybe the Lehman Brothers soon. Depends on which one has the better non-fat muffin bar.
Choose the one that sets out useless stock certificates in place of napkins, leaves a smaller carbon foot print.
I think both have useless stock certs, now that they’ve collapsed and been taken over. Depends on whether you want Brit or American bosses (note: the Brits might also have scones at the muffin bar – just saying). Or, for another way to look at it (since Bear’s former building is on Madison), do you want to work for Sterling Cooper, or the imperial overlords?
Lola, don’t go making me cranky about the fact that I have to study during the Mad Men season premiere.
Dissolve in what, exactly? In water? No. In acid? Probably. In milk? I think we’re gonna need a bigger cereal bowl.
I once watched a short documentary where they sunk a whale carcass. It fed hordes of hungry lampreys for months. Lampreys are creepy.
I saw a video clip of a group of highway workers (in New Jersey I think) blowing a beached whale carcass up with dynamite. It vanished in a great big red cloud and then it (shockingly) started raining chunks of whale on the group of
idiotscurious bystanders standing nearby.Oh no… not again!
Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
I love that video. Next time they’ll give the whale a decent Christian burial. Which in the dead whale world would probably be feeding lamprey eels.
Kinda like a Tacosplode, only redder?
Oh no…not that it wouldn’t be easy, but you’re not going to pin that one on New Jersey.
That “Situation” happened in Oregon in 1970. Another proud notch on the Oregonian’s belts.
I thought that might not be right, but I was too lazy to Google it.
Your avatar punctuates that statement rather affirmatively.
That’s Firefly, she’s usually very twitchy and hyper but I managed to catch her napping one day.
She’s got the perfect: “Oh, hi there. Now go away,” look.
My old cat, Jill, was a master of that look. Especially when I caught her passed out in the bathroom sink.
Because I have to know.
Did you also have a cat named Jack?
Or one called Ian? (and together they yelled at morbidly obese people and made them exercise until they puked)
Nope. Just Jill (Her full name was actually Jill-Bill).
We got her when I was 4 or 5. In school we were doing this letter book that featured Jill and Bill interacting with various objects for each letter of the alphabet. She came into the clinic as a stray and my father fell in love with her due to her affectionate temperament.
She was assigned as my cat and I was allowed to name her. Seeing as I was 5, I immediately picked the name “Bill” from the class book. I was informed that the cat was female, so I fell back on Jill, the other name. She ended up taking on the name “Jill-Bill” because of this duality.
She was a really good cat too. Her other name was “The Huntress” because there was really nothing she wouldn’t try to bring down and eat. Pretty good for a cat who we had to declaw due to her love of hunting my dad’s feet. I watched her catch a sparrow in mid flight… that was pretty cool.
I guess when you’re 4 or 5, logic is on the back burner when it comes to kids naming things.
“I think I will name this stick, Stinky.”
Here’s a rundown of some of our cat’s names for you enjoyment:
Mark, Jill, Max, Max II, Max III, Max IV, Max V, Maxine, Sprinkle, Cougar, Shortie, BBC, Bertha, Zeldie, Sam, Belle, Brown Cat, Bernie, Melody, George (Pronounce Hoargay), Scaredy Cat, Ming, Myrtle, and a bunch more too many to remember.
Seriously, we had a LOT of cats. Our older clientèle would will them to my parents so they ended up with several that way. We’d also inherit the cats from clients who had to go into assisted living and wanted my father to have them (He couldn’t say no to his clients). We’d also get cats who were special needs and didn’t last more than a few years. We’d just keep them comfortable like a hospice for cats. That and the large number of Coyotes in the area meant we had a lot of kitty turn over.
Jill was one of the ones who hung in there the longest. She was really healthy and knew how to outsmart the Coyotes if she got out at night. I think she lived to be about 18 before her liver failed.
It’s kind of sad to have to deal with such a high kitty turnover, but as a child it teaches you to deal with death in a more mature way I think.
[desnark commence] Taco, this is a lovely, if bittersweet, posting. [recommence snark]
So did the “special needs” cats have to be fitted with little helmets so they didn’t hurt themselves when they banged their heads?
And I’ve heard that kitty turnovers are dee-licious when warm from the oven and served with a scoop of ice cream on the side.
Okay…I’ve determined that today is black humor Wednesday and my snark won’t shut off. Forget what I said. I’ll just ditto Lola. I really do like cats.
cats = chicken
Taco, was Sprinkle sprinkled? (I couldn’t resist, although I agree with Lola’s desnark)
Sprinkle was a name my sister gave him. Not sure where it came from.
He was a big, scarred alley tomcat who’s ears were shredded to the point of being nearly removed in what was probably dozens of territory fights.
He came into the clinic pissed at the world and hating everything. 3 cans of cat-food later he was the nicest cat anyone had ever met. He spent the next 12 years sleeping on my mother’s lap. I think he understood exactly how good he had it.
The funny thing about him was that nobody in the “cat room” ever ate out of HIS bowl*. I think he laid down the law his first night there. Either that or it was understood that you don’t mess with the cat who doesnt have ears. Not even Queen Jill ate out of his bowl.
*Well, Cougar did, but they had a somewhat homo-erotic relationship for two cats who’d been neutered. They’d sit on the couch and clean each other; we would tell them to get a room.
There are apparently several whale explosions on record but the 1970 incident is most famous.
http://www.theexplodingwhale.com/map/
Taco, I LOVE your walk down kitty-memory lane. Thank you.
From corey to sentimentality in less than 24 hours…man, I love this place!
Our current cat is Bugsy, so named for the pink pads on his feet that reminded hubby of Bugs Bunny.
He’s also known as Fat Cat – he weighs about 30 lbs. – and Osama bin Bugsy for his ability to terrorize small children, other cats, and un-shod feet.
Lampreys are creepy
So are snake-head eels, too.
One-eyed snakes can make great pets!
OK Mudsy – I am taking back the “The line was crossed – 3 Taco postings prior” that you said much earlier.”
YOU are hereby notified that you, Mudsy, has crossed the line today, and may already have tomorrow covered.
Why would you think it acceptable to pick on a semi-blind snake? That’s just wrong!
I will buy one accounting book from Sparky B, and sell it to Sparky A for $349. I just have to do that… um, carry the 7… 30 more times, and I will have $100,000!
I’m sharing the Lethe secret to wealth with YSAC for only $30 ($100 if you read it three times). You can send it to my Palpal account.
This is NOT the accountant I want to be figuring out my taxes.
Me: *handing over income/expense information* From the looks of these, I figure I have a refund coming.
Accountant Sparkcase: Ah, ok. Well, let’s just see what you’ve done here. Hmm. Umhmm. *high speed catulator work* Oh yes, I will need to apply the new IRS Rule of 3 here. *refers to accounting books* *more rapid catulator work* Ok, here you go. You owe $3,492.67.
Me: WHAT!!!!
Accountant Sparkcase: And my bill is $500. You can make that in three installment payments of $150 each, if you prefer.
Gee, that really sounds like a bargain, but I’d better check the math.
*counts on fingers*
Damn, I can’t go higher than ten. Wait, I know!
*sits down and removes shoes
That only makes twelve. Hmmm… Oh, I see what I did wrong.
*removes socks*
Dangit, that only gets me to twenty! I guess I’ll just have to trust Sparky to be honest and truthful in his ad.
SaraJean, maybe you need these books. 10 fingers+ 2 feet+10 toes= 22. How in the world did you get 20?
Who says I have ten toes?
We’re not counting your collection, SJ.
Hey, I need those for math! I’m not dividing my own toes, that would hurt.
Plus it’s fun to try out new nail polish shades on them.
The mental image of you painting the nails of severed toes is squigging me out a bit; and you know how hard that is to do. Also, in my mental scape, you’re singing to them.
Bravo, Sister.
Am I singing “This Little Piggy“?
‘Cause that would be really
accurateweird.Did you sing it like so?
This little piggy went for rental,
this little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy was roast
a beefpork,this little piggy was not.
And this little piggy tap-danced while knitting all the way home.
SaraJean – I can see it now. On the front of a couple of bookshelf shelves — two rows of neatly lined up assorted sized toes, nicely preserved and all painted with a different color of polish.
ACG: Dexter Ice Truck Killer flashback
I’m in the title? I don’t think I can get a punch for that. Anyway, got all the stools I can use. Not having a dog, though, I could scatter these around the yard.
That’s one way to make the grass grow…. add stools.
Nothing grows where the chicken goes……….
I can’t get by the original price of $349 each – O RLY!
It just goes to show, if you use powerful language against idiots, you can make them buy anything for any price.
Now, I know you’re thinking to yourself, “Solid Maple and wicker!? Wow, how could they ever afford to make these stools out of Solid Maple and wicker and still offer us a price below $1000 each?”
Well, I have news for you all. You’ll not pay $1000, not even $750, not EVEN $500! $400? Nope! Not even 350! Today we offer you these gorgeous Solid Maple and wicker stools for just 3 easy payments of $149.99.
Yes you heard me right, 3 low, easy payments of $149.99.
New furniture prices can be outrageous. And, for some reason “bar” and “counter” stools seem to occupy the top 80% of the price range.
Which may reflect the small number purchased (which drives the price up, which reduces the number purchased, and so, $30 books are 3 for $100 is perfectly logical . . . )
Scary part to me is that $30 is a pretty fair price for used counter/bar stools; most of the sparkies would be looking for $150 each, or 3 for $500.
Okay. WHERE is CapnMac and what have you done with him?
😉
He can’t even get work selling furniture (despite close to thirty years’ experience specifying furniture for architectural clients large and small) .
And is also beat up by the possibility of having to find a new profession entire after three decades, and having been at far too many already.
Or maybe that there’s about 275-550 jobs advertised in my county and about 7-8000 unemployed people needing work.
Or some such.
Please ask any and all questions.
Is there a god?
Will Sarah Palin ever go away?
Why is the “k” silent in “knight”and “knife”?
Is Fox News really fair and balanced?
Should I go with my birth date or my old high school locker combination to pick my Powerball numbers?
Does Obama really fit the description traits of a Leo or is he more like a Gemini?
Does Mel Gibson really know what women want?
When are the Beatles going to get back together?
Why did Hedwig have to die?
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
Why is George Lopez’s head so big?
Would you rather have your armed gnawed off by Mexican Entrees or Rabid Weasels?
Why do you call it taking a stool when you’re actually leaving one.
Er… Gotta Go.
I simply call it “dropping the kids off at the pool”
kids = chicken
Whew, Mudsy, you only rent kids, I’m telling you.
*Runs to the bathroom*
That’s the way to take that ball and run with it Astro!
🙂
What is a fluglebinder and what is it used for?
Why should we care where Waldo is?
Why do people, usually not fellow Texans, ask every summer how we cope with living here “in that gawd-awful heat”? Hint: We stay inside in the a/c Sparky.
What is your name?
What is your quest?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Ahh, a man’s favorite bird.
What?
Is that an African or a European swallow?
Who cares?
What?
Is it a sin if you’re keeping Kosher and you eat collard greens that you did not know (prior to the eating) where prepared with a ham bone?
Is it Kosher to kiss a cop?
Why do birds suddently appear?
Taco..you said swallow!
:snicker..snort:
How high is up before it becomes down?
What would happen if you took the red pill and the blue pill together?
Who let those damn dogs out and how can I make them pay?
“Who let those damn dogs out and how can I make them pay?”
I think it was the Bumpuses.
In that case I owe someone a roasted turkey in an extremely umcomfortable place*.
*The backseat of a Volkswagen, what did you think I meant?
What is a Rose by any other name?
Is it better to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous Sparky math,
or to lay the counter/bar stools down, ne’er to rise again?
To carry the breech or wall it up with our stool, dead?
Will this Spot, this Damm’d Spot e’er wash out?
Is that the East, or some trumped up Italian strumpet (no doubt a twilite fan)of 15?
Should we see oursae’ls as ithers sae us; ot tis nobler to hide i’our eun delusions?
Quickly runs above post by Capn through catranslator…
…okay, I’m getting…
:ruffles cat’s fur, deftly avoids swipe:
Yeah…got nothin…maybe it only works for you…sigh…
Looks like the Cap’n is writing a new version of Romeo and Juliet – Sparky and Juliet.
Who or what do we have to sacrifice – and where, and how – to ensure the continued charmed existence of YSAC?
That’s my question … but I’m not holding my breath for Sparky to answer, much less correctly. I think the question I’d initially direct to them would be “Just how @#$%&*+ stupid are you?”
Lola — it seems like they answer the second question on a daily basis here on YSaC (and yes it is a little scary).
I know – sometimes, I’m pretty sure I don’t really want the answer.
Sparky the Accountant actually passed the courses!
She just tweeted that she’s been hired by “a major financial institution” to design the newest derivatives being offered in the market this fall.
Sure to profit with skills like that!
*makes note to call my financial manager and cash in all investments*
I’ve got all my vast wealth in a very secure place.
*takes plastic container from under the bed*
See, when you burp all the air out, the lid stays on really tight. Nice and secure.
My mom used to say that there was no good use for old mayonnaise jars. I learned that you can fit $3000 in 20s into one and it’s really easy to bury in the back yard.
Hey… where’s Gramps going with that shovel anyway?
[banking corey] Way back when I first started working where I do now, a woman brought in a ziplock bag full of money bits that were all moldy and partially rotted. Her father had buried several thousand dollars in the back yard in a jar, she had finally found it but the jar had cracked and water had seeped into it at some point. It was nasty, vile-smelling stuff and I pitied the poor rep who helped her reassemble as much of it as they could so she could deposit it. I think they managed to save about eighty percent of it.[/banking corey]
Be smart; use tupperware and store it inside!
CoreybankingSJ…and where did you say it was stored? Hmm? Oh, just wondering, that’s all…
You see, storing under the floor can make for some very awkward moments after you’ve, ahem, moved on….
It’s in the box marked “Venomous Explosives”. Go ahead, take a peek.
:opens box, removes money, closes box:
Thanks SJ! ‘Ritas on me tonight!
How many ‘ritas can you get for $3.12?
27, SJ, if you play yer cards right…
These are highly desirable stools. If you want all three, you must be willing to pay the price. It isn’t right to be piggy about this. The seller knows that the concentration of these stools in anybody else’s hand could lead to dire consequences.
Maybe Sparky is hoping the government will purchase them for the Strategic Stool Reserves.
“Stool reserves”? Doesn’t government naturally produce far more BS than the populace can handle?*
*I think I just discovered a new definition for “government waste.”
Line crossed. Three TacoMagics ago.
That explains the $349 original price. Because when we bought a table and chairs, they gave us two free chairs because we bought four chairs. The other four chairs cost quite a bit less than $349 dollars.
Yeah, see, now…on their own individual selfiness, each of the stools or books is just a stool or a book. As a trio, they have the Power of Three and therefore become more valuable. You get three of the books in the room, and suddenly your taxes Do Themselves and throw in an extra break for being Cool! You get three of the stools into one Breakfast Nook and–*poof*–you’re in a French Café. EVERY SINGLE TIME! These powers are too great to be wasted on the unwise. Only those wise enough to be bilked out of…err…to invest the ten extra dollars are able to manage the Untamable Power of Three Stools/Books! (
*strolls in*
YAAAAAAWN…
Mornin’. Coffee?
I’m in an obnoxious mini review thing that BarBri “awarded” me for paying for my class in full by the deadline. It’s seeming rather pointless so far, but I got up and came all the way out here (okay, fine, “all the way” being a 15 minute ride on the T — meaning the subway) so I may as well stay. Besides, we’ve only done evidence so far and that’s one of my better subjects, so maybe that’s why it’s seemed pointless. I’m on break, so I popped in to say hello.
By the way, Taco? The National Conference of Bar Examiners’ building is somewhere in Wisconsin. It’s apparently an ominous black glass building. I’m not suggesting you do anything to that building. I swear.
Oh, break time’s over. Back in an hour or so.
“ominous black glass building”
Oh, now that’s nice and comforting, isn’t it? … Yikes.
I know, right?
For no apparent reason, immediately after reading your post, the Twilight Zone theme popped into my head. Hm.
[rant] That was completely and utterly useless. For those of you who haven’t friended me on FB, I’d finally had it when it took this guy 4 tries to give us the correct definition for a joint venture (in the criminal context). I do not need to deal with some guy who can’t even manage to give us correct information when we only have a week left.
*looks at the time frame she just typed*
Yeah, time to do some more productive studying. [/rant]
I think everyone has failed to notice that they are COUNTER stools. They work to defend you against regular stools, and the combined power of 3 is certainly worth the extra $10.
Duh.
I see there have been more budget cuts to the U.S.’s missile defense research.
Your joking makes me think that you have never been attacked by a stoo…
Undead stoo are insatiably bloodthirsty!
You may be thinking of [redacted]’s ContraStools as ordered by [redacted] as part of the [redacted] which program began under [redacted] until terminated by [redacted]. Possession and or use of contrastools may be restricted under 18 USC [redacted] unless one is [redacted], [redacted], or [redacted].
Huh?
Oh wait. Capn’s back!
[refudiate] blah blah [/refudiate]
I was gone? Taken an hour to get this far down in the comments.
You were lucidly replaced Capn by some strange doppelganger.
In response to our Llama-Nun’s (bees be upon her) insistence that my Fortune Cookie translation end up on a shirt, I present you all with this:
http://i26.tinypic.com/21oo3z7.jpg
It has background transparency for shirts, t-shits, mugs, etc., although that may have been lost when Tinypic converted it to a jpeg.
Shouldn’t you have used Comic Sans?
*Flees*
[corey]No, actually, because (as far as I could tell) the fortune I replaced with mine was written in a similar font to Garamond, although it was probably actually something like Book Antiqua or Times New Roman.
Source Pic [/corey]
That, sir, was a true corey.
*awards corey credit*
Can you send me a high-res version? Send to yousuckatcraigslist@gmail.com. Thanks!
Oh. Err… I think that that’s as high res as it gets, although the PNG one won’t have any JPG artifacts put on by Tinypic converting it.
Will this size work, or should I redo it using a larger image?
Here is a larger, different image, that I can send you, and am also posting here for others to view.
http://i28.tinypic.com/103tldv.jpg
Shouldn’t it be “You’re Lucky Numbers’?”
What?
I feel a t-shirt/mug/mousepad coming on…yippee!
That’s assuming she got the e-mail. Earlier today I attempted to set up Thunderbird to compliment Firefox, and now neither Thunderbird or IncrediMail are working, and I can’t see them working until I am able to retrieve my password. So I have no idea whether or not the e-mail ever actually sent.
Edit: My mom got home and came to the rescue with the master password.
Yeah!!!!!!! Mom’s to the rescue day!!!!!!
Astro,
If you don’t mind, I’m thinking of pulling out the inking set and doing a line-calligraphy version of the fortune cookie. I think a thin brushed ink style for the fortune cookie might be fun to try and may be a nice alternative to the photoshopped cookie. If I like the way it turns out, I could send the picture on to you for the text.
Let me know your thoughts.
Well, Astro, it is incredibly difficult to get a Thunderbird to compliment a Firefox….and I could say more, but must remind myself that you claim to be 15…not sayin’ you aren’t, just sayin’…
Taco,
That sounds to actually be very interesting. Go for it.
My E-mail
[NB: email address edited out by drmk by request]
Oh, and, uh, nobody flood my inbox with spam, ‘kay?
Actually I would have posted it on my Deviantart for you to copy, but I can send an email too :P.
Astro…the rule is either/or, neither/nor. 😉
You don’t normally need correcting, which is much more than I can say for most 15-year-olds, but I’m still being Isaac until…what, Friday?
Taco: Oh. Yeah. I forgot about that. Sadly, it’s a bit too late for me to take my e-mail address away.
iSack v.2.1b: Thankfully, this site prevents most of the supposed 22% of knowledge we forget over Summer Break from being knowledge of English. Actually, with all the CatMath here, and my general dislike of the subject, I’m sure it’s mostly math that’s being forgotten about.
Astro – You might want to get one of the
Supreme Overlordsfolks with editing powers to delete your email. It’s probably not a good idea to leave it up.I’m not terribly happy with it, especially the “second cookie” bit, but after 3 tries this is the best fortune cookie of the lot.
There is some of the Eastern influence I wanted to mimic, but it’s far from stellar. It’s been 7 years since I tried line inking, so it’s probably not going to get any better without a few days practice.
Kinda looks like a belly button barbell.
🙂
Belly buttons have to work hard to stay in shape.
Nuh uh, mines been the same shape for years.
Taco: Here’s what I’ve done with it:
http://i32.tinypic.com/2dl0kyd.jpg
Astro — I got the email. Thanks!
Astro – I am very disappointed. We will start Algebra II and Geometry review on Thursday. Make sure your catulator is charged up and ready to go (or would you rather start with the new, improved Tacoulator?).
Artsy: How can I review Algebra II if I don’t take it till this coming year?
Drmk: Can you please remove my e-mail address from my comment. Not that I think any of you would abuse it, but this is a public internet.
Done.
Astro!! This.is.awesome.
That is all.
So what I’ve learned from this is that if I hide $30 under my mattress every day for three days, I’ll have $100 at the end. I’m off to go test this now.
If successful, please bring mattress and money so we can examine it to find out the “secret.” When you do, please take the food and drink we offer you
because you seem really nice and making you fall asleep so we can steal it all is preferable to knocking you on the head or somethingand everything will go much more smoothly.What?
Ooh, drugged by the lovely Lola, that’s worth $100. ; )
Drugged, by God!
No, by Lola actually. But the effect is much the same.
Lola- Your new avatar makes the mattress comment the sexiest comment of all time. OF ALL TIME!
Why, thank you, Kanyi Sound. 8)
Party people!
Tag team snarking in real effect
Whoomp chair it is (one for 30 bucks)
Whoomp chair it is (two for 60 bucks)
Whoomp chair it is (three for 100 bucks)
Whoomp chair it is (one for 30 bucks)
Whoomp chair it is (two for 60 bucks)
Whoomp chair it is (three for 100 bucks)
Boom (whicker, whicker, whicker chairs)
Boom (whicker, whicker, whicker chairs)
Boom (whicker, whicker, whicker chairs)
Boom (whicker, whicker, whicker chairs)
Boom (whicker, whicker, whicker chairs)
Boom (whicker, whicker, whicker chairs)
Windrose is gonna be busy tonight!
(Does a shared punch hurt less than a solo punch, or more? Is it more like misery or joy?)
Yes
Misery + Joy = Misjay.
YSaCies: if you tried to friend me on F/b and you were ignored or haven’t heard back from me, send another friend request.
It was pointed out to me that people’s real-life names may be slightly different than the names used on YSaC; which might be why I don’t recognize some of the people trying to friend me.
Go figure.
Searching fb doesn’t bring up a TacoMagic.
I even tried TacoMagic Smith.
Odd, I should have TacoMagic set up as my searchable nickname. I’ll have to check it once I get to a computer where I can check F/b.
I believe I added mudslicker as a searchable nickname to mine. That was 3 fb revamps ago…so no telling how I’ve got it set up now.
True, there have been a few revamps since the nickname. I should doublecheck my settings (or if they even use nicknames anymore).
I found Taco without a problem.
My nickname still shows up at the end of the URL if I click on my profile even though I made it a few revamps ago.
I searched for mudslicker and it asked if I meant “mudkicker.” No catwoman 153 with or without the space.
[redacted corey] Okay. I found Taco. *dote* [/redacted corey]
It’s late in the day and I’m missing some stools.
Kelli: I’m the one that comes up above mudkicker. The one from Indiana. Got my old avatar pic on fb.
Okay, try http://www.facebook.com/catwoman153 and tell me what happens…when you’re signed in to Facebook on your computer. I have some privacy settings making me slightly unsearchable, but so far no one else from here has had trouble finding me.
I think I need to buy a vowel. You can friend me, I have my real name in the forum so you can find me with just a little searching. 8)
I found Bridgete! I feel like I’m on a very bizarre treasure hunt.
Muddy, you didn’t come up in my search, but I used the nickname as the last part of the url to find you.
It is kind of like a treasure hunt.
You’ve been approved. In case you didn’t notice. 🙂
Thanks Bridget and I used the same method that I used to find Muddy to find Wind. Mine is just ainebegonia at the end of the url.
Edit – wrong avatar because I signed into the forums, ugghhh
Here, you dropped this: *hands Kelli an E* 😉
Bridgete — just in case I forget on Friday — good job stepping in for Isaac, he would be so proud.
Sorry Bridgete, my other avie can’t spell.
It actually comes naturally to me, that’s why I wanted the job. But thanks! 🙂
It’s alright Kelli. My grandparents don’t even know how to spell my name.
I’ve sent a couple friend requests out. I shall continue at some later time (like after lucnch) or you can tag me before I tag you!
(Oh, in the interest of keeping this as a somewhat bizzare easter egg hunt, I’m not revealing my profile name here… yet.)
If you search my nickname, I’m the top result. Feel free to message me (let me know who you are in the subject line, or I’ll assume it’s some weirdo that I don’t know and delete it), but don’t friend me.
But Astro…aren’t we all weirdos here? I mean it is our common bond…isn’t it?
:crickets chirp:
Heh…heh…okay then…
Astro: There isn’t an option to just send a message. Only to friend you.
Mudsy: I shall amend that.
Edit: It would seem that, because I’m a minor, the “everyone” setting actually means friends, firends of friends, and networks.
CJ: That’s why I italicized don’t.
There’s a reason we call you Jail-Bait (Oh ha ha).
Holy clothespin-jeebus!! That’s you?? I’ve got tennis shoes older than you boy!
:wanders off to find said tennis shoes:
Erm… I’m feeling stooopid… FB doesn’t seem to want to let me send you a message, Astro. I did send you a friend request, though!
You’ll have to friend me if you feel so inclined. My general policy with internet friends is to wait for them to make the request. This actually is my real first name, and I think I’m the only one with this spelling in Massachusetts.
Oh, also, my nickname is catwoman153, if that helps.
I’ll have to check when I get home, I can’t get FB here. I haven’t been on in a while so I hope no one’s tried to friend me recently, although everyone is welcome to. I think I’m the only one with my name in my city, my info’s over in the forum thread if anyone is interested.
It is probably easier for me to find people than it is to find me, given a semi-common first name and a very common last name (Bell). However, if you get a friend suggestion or a request from someone whose name fits my nickname on here and there’s a picture of a crazy woman with 3 cute little redheads, that would be me. 🙂
Group Punch! Group Punch! Congrats, everyone. Hope we have some extra helmets and cups. Er, I mean, Taco Thongs. Wait, no I don’t!
I actually have the exact same stools, but Carolina blue instead of white. I bought the set of three used, with my house, for $75 (house not included). I’ve never seen such a premium for white this side of Apple…
Apple-white is totally worth it tho.
*glances at Macbook Pro, iPhone 3GS, iPod touch, Mac mini, and 5 pairs of black turtlenecks and jeans in closet*
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
you must be stock invested….or stork infested….
Oh noes! IF is an Mac/Apple addict. I’m so disillusioned now.
Disillusioned? Not here … I’ve loved Macs since they were all Apples, in about 1980 or so.
*daily migrating crush resettles on IF*
I have Apple-black…oh dear…did I commit some Apple faux pas?
I have a black iPhone, and a purple nano. Meh.
I’ve got a black iPod Touch but I keep it in a turquoise cover. I think that all I’ve got from Apple-land.
I have a Blue iPod Nano. That’s the grand total of all the Apple software I own.
Black iPhone and purple Nano for me too, Bridgete…Whew! I feel much better.
[meddling mother-in-law corey}When she saw my new iPhone she asked how I could justify spending that much money on a phone when I have a “house, kids, responsibilities”….my first thought…okay, my second thought was “Huh? My kids are grown, and I don’t pay their bills anymore.”
I settled on telling her the truth.
*I rob banks to supplement my income.
*this may not be true
I stayed straight-faced and she shut up. Truth be known, my “new” iPhone was an 8G refurb model I got for less than $50[end meddling mother-in-law corey]
This feels like the “Apple Confessional” room.
I [fill in any name you like] also admit to having an i[fill in your toy of choice] in [fill in the color of your choice]. …Whew! I feel much better.
CJ – Thanks for stepping up to the iPlate.
Yeah, you can all totally get Macommunion (or is that iCommunion?) on Sunday now.
Just say 10 Hail Tacos and 25 Fractals and you’re good to go.
Artsy: Ooh! Mad Libs!
Having stools in “Carolina Blue” at our house is the same as first degree murder (maybe even worse). We are only allowed to have Woldpack Red (and no, there isn’t a person in this house that went there, only those planning to).
That’s the only blue one can have in this area and not be associated with that Other School Down the Road.
I do have a special place in my heart for Wolfpack Red, given that it is the colour of my beloved RBC Centre, and because I empathize with being chronically on the short end of a regional state-school rivalry.
IR – you must live in the same place Astro & I live (although, Astro lives “on the wrong side of town”).
No, my love for my hockey club is, sadly, from a distance.
I find myself regrettably in the land of their 2002 Stanley Cup Finals opponents.
You ought visit my lil’ home town here.
Oh, and Stillwater, OK and Ames, IA for that matter.
Artsy: Oh, you’re a pack fan. *snorts*
IR — I’m so sorry. Maybe you can move here some time in the future.
Astro — no I’m not a Pack Fan it’s Mountaineers all the way!!!! However, for some strange reason, my children are Pack Fans. I’m hoping that, my son at least, will get over it in the next couple of years.
Uhm, if one’s stools are blue, that may mean you have the same neurological disorder George III had.
Oh great Llama-Nun’s (bees be upon her) – when reading the comments for the first listing; I read it as hand raised. That brings up interesting questions.
I need some help with this new math or I’m never going to be able to assist my child with his homework.
Spelling and language, either.
I’m too old to go back to elementary school, though, I do miss recess and snack time.
LimeLolly — don’t forget lunch!!! That’s my kids personal favorite subject. It’s a subject that they both excel (both are accidentally gifted – my son’s phrase, not mine – lunch kids).
Lunch? Has that changed too?
In my school days, lunch was mystery meat topped with gray glue, pizza made out of cardboard and milk came in a box. Some days, the only thing worth eating was the dessert and those stingy lunch-ladies would only give you one.
However…. I used to be really skinny in those days… hmm, maybe I need to go back on a school-lunch diet again.
Oh, it’s changed. Now we have Dominoes Pizza. And “Asian Chicken with Fried Rice”. And soft cookies with a funny name (Otis Spunkmeyer). Oh, and Chick-Fil-A knock-offs.
Milk still comes in a boxcarton thing though. With, unfortunately, Justin Bieber on the back. **shudders**
I don’t know Astro… doesn’t seem like it’s changed for the better — ‘yuck’.
I guess I need to get in the habit of sending a super-yummy lunch for my little guy. Maybe then he won’t trade it for skittles and reese’s cups.
I don’t think it has changed much. Both my kids bring lunch, that’s probably why.
On the first day of snarking the Llama nun* brought to me,
A pig at a party
On the second day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me.
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the third day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me,
Three books for accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the fourth day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me.
Four attack birds
Three books for accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the fifth day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me,
Five trucks of bees
Four attack birds
Three books of accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the sixth day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me,
Six chicken stachues
Five trucks of bees
Four attack birds
Three books of accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the seventh day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me,
Seven dolphin tables
Six chicken stachues
Five trucks of bees
Four attack birds
Three books of accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the eighth day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me.
Eight milking mothers
Seven dolphin tables
Six chicken stachues
Five trucks of bees
Four attack birds
Three books of accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the ninth day of snarking the llama nun brought to me,
Nine pole dance partners
Eight milking mothers
Seven dolphin tables
Six chicken stachues
Five trucks of bees
Four attack birds
Three books of accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the tenth day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me,
Ten happy house landlords
Nine pole dance partners
Eight milking mothers
Seven dolphin tables
Six chicken stachues
Five trucks of bees
Four attack birds
Three books of accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the eleventh day of snarking the llama nun brought to me,
Eleven pipe stains making Adam
Ten happy house landlords
Nine pole dance partners
Eight milking mothers
Seven dolphin tables
Six chicken stachues
Five trucks of bees
Four attack birds
Three books of accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party
On the twelfth day of snarking the Llama nun brought to me,
Twelve drums, make an offer
Eleven pipe stains making Adam
Ten happy house landlords
Nine pole dance partners
Eight milking mothers
Seven dolphin tables
Six chicken stachues
Five trucks of bees
Four attack birds
Three books of accounting
Two Ninja turtles
And a pig at a party**
***
*May bees be with her
**pant
***This has probably been done before…
You have a gift. Many doors to you.
Now do the 84 days of coffee!
On the 84th day of coffee Guinness gave to me,
The world record for the most pee.
😛
On the… WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, as the great philosopher HamCan once spake:
It wasn’t me breaking the style sheet this time, although I fear I precipitated it…
Lola, you may drug and punish me if you like.
HamCan: I will, but you’ll have to beg. 8)
*distributes brain bleach to everyone*
As for Astro – he’s a minor, so re: style sheet, I will just send a sharp note to his parents and let them deal with it.
*Stands on street corner with a sign that says, “Will snark for vintage cereals*
Can I have my puishment now?
So far I have collected,
Quisp
Donkey Kong
Strawberry shortcake
Boo-Berry
and some C-3PO’s
HamCan, do you mind if I use that in something? I’ve been working on expanding my Epic Battle into an Epic of Mini-Homeric Proportions, and I would like to include your carol in it. With proper credit of course.
As long as it is used to vanquish evil from the mini-universe…
Question for you HamCan – what are you going to do with all of your excess humor and snark when vacation ends? I worry what might happen to you if you keep it
bottledcanned up for too long.I went back to work Monday
Work is kinda a joke so that helps
😀
Clearly it suits you. It brings out your snark very nicely. I won’t comment on your boingy in polite company though.
Where’d everyone go?
I ate them. I was hungry.
(Get your minds out of the gutter, everyone! 😉 )
What?
**crawls out from behind the pillbox**
Is it safe to come out? I just barely avoided being eated.
Look again my young friend…
Been a strange day, what with being on the road and needing to give a kindergarten-complex lecture on the economy to political types whose understanding of needing an income to survive is something only their office staff does, somehow.
Does not seem like it should be after midnight, but it is (fie upon thee, ye emotionless chronometers denying the relativeness of time and space and the universe . . . )
Hmm, I go to bed, everyone shows up.
Now that I’m awake, anyone here?
Morning, AR! I wish these posts had time stamps on them. 8) It’s 5:42 AM PST.
Oh my, that is early.
It’s 8:44 AM EDST, and I’ve been awake* since 7. I’ve even finished breakfast already, and am now contemplating working out vs. dealing w/ the mess I left in the kitchen last night.
*”Awake” here meaning “no longer in bed,” not necessarily “conscious of the world around me.”
All right, everyone in the box, line up, single file, roll up your left sleeve, and it will be over in a few seconds. Taco, Taco, LRC, Meredith, IF, Astro, and Moira! Punchity punch punch!
G’Night, Facebook Friends!
WOOT!
OW!
And congratulations to my co-winners!
Hurrah, a punch!
Punch! my brothers, punch with care. Punch in the presence of the passenjaire.
Blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare; buff trip slip for a six-cent fare; pink trip slip for a three-cent fare.
Punch in the presence of the passenjaire!
(Came across this little ditty last night while reading the collected works of Mark Twain. I am 26% finished according to my Kindle. I knew he was prolific but OMG a zomb…)
Ow! I’ve been tagged. Can the gubmint track me now? Do I get my money back if I still get the flu?
makes me hungry!
It took a little bit of razzle-dazzle, and a few days of intense searching, but I was able to track down the seller of those accounting books.
“3 books for accounting – $100
——————————————————————————–
I am selling 3 books for accounting. Each one 30$ Please contact Jeffery Skilling, CEO, Enron Corporation”