YSaC, Vol. 733: Some pork!
2010 July 20
i want to rent your pig – $50
my friend is having a pig roast and I want to bring a pet pig to walk around the party for entertainment purposes. My friends are all responsible and the pig will be well cared for and looked after. Preferably a small cute one. respond via email.
All I can think of is that this pig better be able to tap dance and knit simultaneously; otherwise it’s going to end up as tasty, tasty bacon once the party guests have had enough to drink. Then again, maybe they weren’t able to get a roasting pig large enough to feed all the guests, and so they figure that looking at the adorable little piglet will turn at least half of the guests off of eating Uncle on the spit.
beef for sale
Please call we have a beef taken in to be butchered but need someone to take it soon. xxx-xxx-xxxx
No thanks, I’m going to this pork roast later and I don’t want to ruin my appetite. I hear there will be a small cute pork walking around at the party, tap dancing and knitting, too!
Thanks, Jonathan and Wendy!
Why does the thought of Sparky renting livestock immediately cause my thoughts to swerve “over the line”?
Also – “beef”? You presumably raised the animal from a young age to a size suitable for slaughter and perhaps don’t want to consume it yourself due to the emotional attachment, but still refer to it as “beef”? Do you perhaps have beloved pet chickens named “extra-crispy” and “honey barbeque” as well?
I had a sheep named Taquito once. I bet lamb taquitos would be tasty. Mmmmmm. I’m getting breakfast now.
I had some taquitos named ‘Lunch’ once, but they didn’t do any tricks. Just laid there on the plate.
They’re terribly hard to train, and simply refuse to be house-broken.
I thought Tacquitos were TM’s offspring?
Leftover lamb would make spiffy taquitos, or “baja” tacos for that matter.
You mean Baaja?
Why, I ouuta . . .
No Tacos For You!
How is it that we’ve seen ads for everything from renting little-people to stalkers to prositution, and this is the first time I’ve though, “man, that’s f*cking SICK.”??? It just seems so unnecessarily cruel to walk a little animal around in front of a larger animal of the same species, that you are COOKING in front of it. Animals are smart enough to recognize their own. And they say pigs are really bright. Perhaps someone is working their way up to serial killer status with animal psychological torture???
At least it’s not roasted spider that’s being served. Wilbur would go absolutely nuts.
Meredith, I think you’re being entirely too logical in thinking this one out. Stop it! Just think of this as reality TV for animals.
π
I know, and I’m not usually sensitive to these type things.
I had a girl with PETA ask, “You wouldn’t eat a CAT, WOULD YOU??? Or a DOG????” I said, “Why not?”. She had no argument after that, and my guy thinks it’s “weird”. To me, if it’s not a pet, it’s possible food. Though my friends tell me cats are stringy and salty and just not very good eating.
Kitty lovers, I am among you, so don’t fret. I’ve had 11+ cats in my life, and none have ended up on a plate.
I’m with you, Meredith. If it’s protein, it’s eligible for noms under one circumstance or another. I had a job interview once where we got a little off-topic and I told the three folks interviewing me that if you refuse to eat something just ’cause you think it’s cute, well, that’s just prejudice. (I got the job.)
It’s all about the time, place, and presentation.
Though I must say, chicken feet creep me right the hell out. I know some people really like them but I’ve never been able to bring myself to try them. I probably should the next time my co-workers order them at dim sum… just to see.
If it’s cooked so that it tastes well I’ll eat just about anything.
Because of this motto, I’m reasonbly sure I’ve had rat* a few times, but it was tasty!
*There was a Chinese place in college that would insult other dives to call it a dive. I’m pretty sure they didn’t scrutinize any source of meat too closely. Their food was good, but their kitchen was scary. It ended up being closed down for 37 health code violations… and for dealing drugs out the back door.
I’m with you on all counts, Meredith. I think pigs will eat their own though. Nonetheless, my first thought was still “that’s f*ing sick”.
I like the “if it’s not someone’s pet” argument. My argument has generally been “if it’s commonly kept as a pet in the US, I won’t eat it out of sensitivity,” thus allowing me to eat bacon even though some people keep those pot-bellied pigs, but “someone’s” pet is much better. Especially since I don’t think I’d be opposed to trying rabbit, perhaps in France (going next month, squee!)…even though my favorite book of all time is Watership Down.
For cats, specifically, sometimes I just say they’re my familiars. And then I threaten to curse the PETA advocate. π
[me corey] I’m a vegetarian, but I oppose PETA on moral grounds.[/me corey]
Count me among the disgusted at both ads. Post #1 I get the impression might be a joke to get a rise out of people, or I can hope at least. Post # 2, well I can invoke the [matt] tag and say this has got to be someone from a different culture, noting the broken English, but a childhood experience has me thinking of a different scenario. You see, I had a friend whose cousins came upstate from NYC to hunt on a farmer’s land. One of the cousins “bagged a big one” and went looking for the other guys to help him haul it onto the truck. Yes, he shot one of the farmer’s cows.*
*Due to the secondhand story, may or may not be true.
Moira – Regarding chicken feet…I’ve raised chickens and have seen what they walk in.
Just say no.
We had a cockatoo who loved chicken.
Seriously. Whenever we ate anything with chicken in it he would spaz out until we gave him a little. We tried to convince him that he wasn’t a bird of prey, but he’d have nothing of it.
A chicken did him wrong…did him wrong so bad. Revenge tastes delicious, especially with bbq sauce!
I find it amusing to feed our hens turkey. It makes me feel evil.
This reminds me of once when I was walking to work and someone had thrown the bones from their hot wings onto the sidewalk, and the little sparrows were picking at them. I was all, “Does cannibalism count for avians?”
Must’ve given that cockatoo a bad coupon.
Taco’s admission resonates with me, but there’s almost no way to relate the story why here, for either the sake of anonymity or brevity.
That, and I’ve had gumbo down to Sou’Louisian’ and you do not ask what is in the pot–they’ll tell you, in detail (including what is being used as “mock turtle”).
Oooh, had to sneak a look from work, and glad I did. Most birds need a lot more protien than they get from a seed diet. They need fresh vegetables year round, fruit now and again, and seeds mostly when breeding. Chicken, eggs, cheese, a little milk, all of these are fairly safe to feed any birds. I wish my insectivore finches would each chicken, but they like little black lumps of goo much better.
I love the bird Corey, Windrose!
Hope you are continuing to feel better, and that Chthulhu (I never know if I have that right) is enjoying it if you are sounding like Kathleen Turner/Lauren Bacall.
Animals are smart enough to recognize their own.
Actually, I read somewhere* that sheep don’t recognize upside-down pictures of sheep.
*Did I read that here? The more I think about, the more I think that that’s the case. So sorry for the repeated corey.
Baab?
C(SHEEP)*
| |
When I was little, we had a steer who I named Midnight. I wanted to show her (because I was insistent it was a her) to my older cousin so I took her out to the pen. Then I told my cousin that when Midnight was big enough, we were, and I quote, “gonna kill her and eat her.”
I may have been a precocious child.
You sound positively delectable!
Err. I mean adorable. Yes, that’s it.
And that’s why your sister used your toothbrush to clean the toilet….
π
I think that you’re supposed to be consoling the pet pig (Pork? Ham? Bacon?) as he/she/it watches its beloved brother roast slowly, dripping oh-so-delicious piggy juices, just waiting to be carved into oh-so-delicious juicy pieces…
What?
Nadine noodle soup, anyone?
bwahahaha
He want to rent Bacontini?! Bacontini is not de wayward drink of de night. He not stand at de corner and rent himself out to any stranger who want to taste de Bacontini!
Bacontini only for sale, if you want buy Bacontini den we talk. Until den, you may only dream of renting him.
As always, Bacontini is here for de ladies.
No renting.
Whole hog, or the deal is off.
…..
Okay.. how much for 5 hours?
Darn it..
*wipes spectacles off*
Oh friends!!! How I needed to see your smiling avatars today! :::Siiiigh::: Please pass me a cuppa while I nibble on this delicious…oops, sorry, HamCan!
I’ll just have a sip of…whoah, uh…sorry bout that, Bacontini! I’m really out of it today.
That’s ok Meredith, there’s worse things then waking up to little nibbles.
*in funny-sounding voice* I think I went to that party. Except everyone was dressed as Vikings. And the pig was so far above the fire that it got sunburned instead of roasted. That was some pig!
I’m hearing Larry the cucumber.
“Everyone was dressed as VIkings” especially.
Too bad they were Vikings and not pirates, because then I’d have a song for the occasion! “We are the piiiiiiiraaaaaaates who don’t do anythiiiiiiiiing; we just stay at hooooooome and lie arouuuuuuund! And if you aaaaask usssssss to do anythiiiiiiiing, we’ll just tell youuuuu… we don’t do anythiiiiiiiiing!”
Wow, a future conditional proof perfect subjunctive being conjugated into the impossible future tense.
Wow, you talk almost as purty as Capn.
uhhhhhh, huh.
Mighty strange. My teachers allus learnt me that the past inconquerable tense had a liβl more body to it.
Yeah, but conjugating into the past inconquerable tense requires at least one medium sized army of Shogun warriors.
Oh dear, so if I say “A octopus done got Albert!” I’m just going to hear crickets, aren’t I? *sigh* Darn mom, filling my head with generationally-inappropriate references.
Wait, how many HP does this putative Shogunate army have?
And, is it important that it is seer-dimensioned?
Taco, you DO speak English! Lookee thar!
I occasionally get it right.
*grabs the bread and BBQ sauce*
I’m ready!
Whew, I tell you Limey, you only rent pork.
*runs to the bathroom*
That’s why you gotta savor the pork at the beginning. Cause the end kinda stinks. π
I think he’s a Kiwi.
Edit: Oh wait, you meant her name. ha!
Can I be a starfruit?
I call mango!
You can call me Kumquat.
Wait, no you can’t! NEVERMIND. Icky.
Durian here! (heh)
I might already be named after a food.
Yeah, Taco, but you need something a little more fruity. You’re about as “fruity” as we have here, too.
He’s more Fruit Loops. But he’ll always be a stud banana to me.
π
TacoPeach!
Not to go back to the perfume/cologne conversation, but fruity scents always work better for me, as opposed to floral. Tropical, usually.
BridgetePapaya?
Does it need saying?
ok, maybe it does….
Banana then in that case.
I am transported heavenward when in the shower using my Burt’s Bees Ginger/Citrus or Peppermint soap but they leave no smell behind (which is really nice, actually). Pear or apple shampoo/conditioner is particularly lovely but as an actual fragrance, I am sufficiently old-fashioned that I like 4711 which is remarkably citrus-y and clean smelling.
[corey]The lady at the perfume store (which was the only place I could find it) tried to convince me it was a man’s scent so I wiki-ed it and visited their site. During its history, it was supplied to German submariners in an attempt to keep the subs from getting whiffy but they had a tendency to bring home the bottles to mothers, wives and girlfriends as presents. The current website has a strongly unisex marketing campaign. So to the lady at the perfume store, I say thee, “HA!”[/corey]
Cosmetic history for the win, Moira!
I have previously stated that I have 35+ different perfume bottles, most of which do not get use. (I used to get them from vendors)
The few that do are:
Issey Miyake
Tommy Girl (the guy likes it)
Gucci Summer Rush (discontinued π )
Chanel Chance (again, the man likes-thinks of as “my” scent)
A bottle of a discontinued Crabtree & Evelynn scent (LOVE IT)
But what I always always fall back to my Lush solid perfumes, which smell like hippies. I just prefer to smell earthy, but still clean.
What was I saying? Oh yeah, ANYWAY, I bring that up because I used to wear exclusively male scents and sprays. I like that clean smell, not that “I’m a fruit salad or food item” smell.
From what I understand, a lot of the men’s scents have a “soap” undertone. These are also the ones I like. Once I learned that, it made a lot of sense. Though of course … per the discussion we had last week … dousing oneself in a cologne with “soapy” notes =/= actual bathing.
My favorite perfume (and the only one I currently own) is Juicebar: cotton candy…. it really smells exactly like it. To the point that whenever I wear it I make everyone around me hungry. They know they can smell the sugary goodness, but have no idea where its coming from. Haha
Other than that, I wear scented lotion. Rather fond of the ones from Bath&Bodyworks… especially Mango and Japanese Cherryblossom.
So yeah… guess I’m one of the fruit, food, and flower scented girls.
[…it made a lot of sense]
Lola, you passed up a perfectly good opportunity for a pun. Shouldn’t it have made a lot of scents? Here, allow me to help out.
*hands over a rose, a steaming hunk of coffee and a nice slice of warm cinnamon coffee cake*
[soaping corey] The “soap” smell most commercially available detergent bars have is an artificial fragrance added to the bar. Even “unscented” bars will usually have it added, since that is how people expect soap to smell. Real, properly made soap has almost no smell once it is cured; usually only a very, very faint “soapy” scent (which is different from the fragrance added to detergent bars) mixed with the faint aroma of whatever oil or fat was used duing the saponification process, unless you add fragrance to it. The saponification process actually destroys much of the volatile oils that give oils and fats their distinct smells; you have to add a whopping amount (about one ounce per pound of soap if you use essential oils, about 4-6 bars) of fragrance to get any scent at all.
Another little known fact – the main ingredient in most commercially made detergent bars is lard. It’s listed on the label as the more socially acceptable “sodium tallowate” – which is the salt formed when lard is saponified.[/soaping corey]
Sorry ’bout that, I tend to ramble a bit.
All you need to make soap is fat and ashes.
I made soap out of deer fat and our camp fire one year. It made me smell gamey.
Technically, yes. Soap is just the salt produced when you combine a fatty acid (oil, fat, etc) with a strong alkali like lye. Getting an end product that doesn’t peel your skin off or make you smell like spoiled fat is the tricky bit.
I do have about 200 grams of experimental soap that I made using ghee (clarified butter) that smells almost exactly like moldy cheese. I have no idea why and it is a source of never-ending frustration.
*ahem*
[/corey] tags SJ! That was totally corey-saturated.
Sorry.
*tucks tail between legs*
I tagged the first one, do I at least get a partial credit?
No–but since you’ve been a good little kitty, you can write a five-paragraph essay on why cheese-scented perfumes sell worse than pork-scented perfumes. Due by Thursday, for fifty points*
*by ‘points’, I mean ‘slices of bacon’
I already have a title; “Olfactory Lactose Intolerance in Comparison to Porcine Emulsions in Suspension.”
You get a door (with a sparkling clean window) from me for typing alkali like lye correctly. And I’ll just bet you typed it really fast, didn’t you? Now, go relax a bit, have a couple snorts from Lola’s flask and come back and do it again. What say?
Wait, so that’s what she’s got in her flask?
Oh yeah I
Tell you somethin’
This party’s lookin’ big
And yeah I’ll
Need that somethin’
I want to rent your pig
I want to rent your piiiiiig
I want to rent your pig
And when I walk him I’ll look manly
To chicks
I’m drunk and hungry, now your pig’s
On a stick
On a stick
ON A STICK!
(What, dude? It’s called a spit? No way!)
Oh yeah I
Tell you somethin’
Not bad for 50 clams
And yeah pass
Pass the mustard
This is some bitchin’ ham
This is some bitchin’ ham
This is some bitchin’ ham
(That dude you rented the pig from’s gonna be pissed man.
No way. I’ll bring him the leftovers.)
Throws a door and lots more too many to list at IF.
*daily migrating crush transfers to IF* I mean, Beatles and pork? Irresistable.
Lola your *ahem* forward ballast doesn’t appear to be leveled properly. You may want to even them out a bit.
I’m sure Gramps would help you with that if you
were in the room withasked him.Don’t worry, TM, I don’t think anything will fall off. I’ve got it all covered. 8)
At first I couldn’t figure out what Taco was commenting on…she changed the avatar last night so I saw it on yesterday’s post just before I went to bed.
Is that LOLA??? WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.
:::picks jaw off floor:::
(showoff)
Virtually only, not actually. There, there, Meredith. Calm down.
Lola, I think you need to put little red circles around your
knees, er, um… Venus di Milos…You mean her shoulder knees.
Yes, thank you TM for getting me out of that one….
Lola: we were all crushing for IF yesterday.
You’reYour turn.Now now, ladies. There’s plenty of Irregularity to go around. No need to take turns…
Irregularity makes me grouchy.
Wait, what?
That’s the spirit! I love a man who
is challengedwelcomes a challenge.Doo doo doo doo doo..
Have you seen the little piggies…?
Oh, look – a bandwagon!
*jumps on IF*
You might want to phrase that differently, SJ.
Yeah, that looks a little bit wronger (more wrong?) than it did in my head.
I suspect he may not mind very much. Or at all.
IF, I wanna hold your
hamhand!You had me at nosological, PenCon. You had me at nosological.
-sesquipedalian swoon-
@IF:
Have you seen the little piggies,
for rental in the dirt?
And for all the little piggies,
life is getting worse,
having to knit shirts and tap-dance at the same time.
Have you seen the bigger piggies,
roasting on a spit?
And you can find the bigger piggies,
waiting to be ate,
always on a spit until they’re bacon.
On their spits where they’re for rental,
they don’t care what goes on around.
Behind their eyes there’s something lurking,
what they need’s some damn good cooking!
Everywhere there’s lots of piggies,
Becoming piggie pies,
You can see them up for rental
for prying human eyes,
clutching forks and knives while watching the bakin’.
I had to fudge the rhymes somewhat, but oh well.
bring a pet pig to walk around the party
Reminds me so much of that wonderful children’s book If You Give a Pig a Party by James Beard. Such a wonderful, stomach-warming story.
I’ll bring the lipstick Gramps! This cannot be refudiated!!!!*
*ooh oh oh Sarah you WordMeister you.
I thought it was strange that I found it in the “Cookbook” section at Borders, til I read the beginning.
Page 1: “If you give a pig a party, you better bring bbq sauce”
Hmmmm, ear tickling, or tongue tickling???
Tongue tickling is……
lower.
I have a beef. It used to be a veal, but then it got too big. I also have a milk and a whole coop of eggs.
I have a Moo that’s just sitting around waiting for a pickle and a bun.
:::Envisioning living Dagwood sandwich:::
We’re at people cannibalism now?
(To me, Dagwood will always be the husband of Blondie. And I am self-censoring *everything else* that popped into my head in relation to that.)
If I confessed what Dagwood makes me think of first you’d really see me for the sci-fi nerd I apparently am
I’m a pretty big sci-fi nerd myself, and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Google was no help. I now must know, because I hate to feel left out of a nerd party. π
IMDB told me that there’s a Dagwood in “Seaquest 2032” which was apparently a 3-season how back in the early ’90s…. Never heard of it, though -_-
THANK YOU, EB! I remember the show, although I didn’t watch it much. I suspect this is the answer.
EclecticBlue is correct on the reference. I have the whole lot on DVD.
The Google-fu, I have it π
The Dagwood sandwich gets it’s name from the husband of Blondie. He was known for making gravity defying noms in the comics, hence the name for a larger than life sandwich with everything piled on.
Is that a Corey? It feels Corey-ish.
Don’t worry, Meredith, everyone is now to busy dreaming of sammiches to care.
I have the pizza parlor on speeddial.
I have two Peruvian delicacies in the room we so eloquently refer to as “The Nothing Room”.
Oh, now I feel bad… **runs off the pet the Guinea Pigs and never ever think about eating them again.**
I hear they taste like chicken.
And Animal Farm was no more.
I had an animal farm, but I eated it.
I had a conch once but Piggy hogged it. And then he fell off the cliff.
Coincidence? I think not.
Sucks to your coincidence.
That’s what Piggy said!
Uh oh. Does that mean there’s Mandasplat! in my future?
Ewww. Go outside to do that!
Only if you’re a June bug and you happen to meet my windshield at 75mph.
Conch fritters, oh my, were I not hungry now in, then I am ever now in France!
Ok, that was weird, Henry V in flip-flops with a Po’Boy . . . perhaps I need sustenance presently.
Ooooh. Makes me want to break out into tunes from ‘Animal Farm: The Musical.’
Who’s giving this party? The Walrus and the Carpenter?
But answer came there none
and this was scarcely odd because
they’d eaten every one….
“The ketchup’s spread too thick!”
Ceiling wax!
*ahem* Just had to get that out of my system.
What, no cabbages or kings?
“a beef”??
“a beef” is actually the traditional Craigslist spelling.
Yep; it’s it’s one beef, many boofs.
I Beef
You Beef
He/She Boofs
We Bief
You Biefs
They Boofsing
I remember that Cyndi Lauper song.
If I Boof, please be kind enough to ignore it. I’m sensitive about things like that.
Taco, foodpeeple would be proud.
I was awakened a bit early today by my phone going off (good news, I’ll tell you in a minute). The subsequent tiredness means I was just laughing hysterically at the conjugation of “beef”. And Meredith’s “if I boof…” comment.
*gets more coffee…and less nothing*
“boof” is funny to me, but, I was chef de cuisine long enough to collect an annoying amount of kitchen-french. So boof and boeuf have a mental equals sign for me.
That, and so very few people have been taught that “beeve” is not cute contraction of a water-residing rodent.
Steph, shouldn’t that have [mock matt] tags?
Maybe I’m too tired, so please forgive me, but what is [mock matt]??
*snickers*
Stephanie is asking Capn to clarify something.
*tootsie rolls*
The [matt] tag is The Tag of Righteous Indignation, e.g. “[matt] How dare you, blah, blah, blah, Science,! more blah, blah, blah.[/matt]”
If I have to explain what mocking is, you’re on the wrong blog.
I’ve been absent from YSaC for a while, so I’ve missed some stuff.
I assume mocking is something you buy on Craigslist.
Well, now that I think about it, the “well, that is the correct pronunciation” tag ought be a [witt.nestor]
My βbeeveβ is not cute contraction of a water-residing rodent.
Isn’t that what June told Ward?
[true farm-story corey]I grew up in rural Indiana…no, really rural as in sans indoor plumbing rural.. My paternal grandparents augmented their meager income (he was a minister) with various pursuits. One of these was raising rabbits…I thought as pets…until that day. Without getting too graphic, let me just say that I never imagined a hammer could be wielded so skillfully by a blue-haired women in orthopedics and a housedress. I shudder still….[/end true farm-story corey]
Good thing HHNF isn’t here. She’d be on her fifth motion discomfort bag by now.
Seriously…and btw…what happened to HHNF? Not that I’d want her to come back and be subjected to this…just wondering.
I think she wandered off in search of GrahamT.
Has anyone checked the lock on the room? Perhaps they’re stuck in there.
:::Looks in room. Sees…uh, nothing, nothing to see here. Surely not the remains of two of YSaC’s best. Nope:::
:::innocent whistling::: Guess they left.
So that’s what happens when you get a room. Yikes!
I think Astro needs to update his sketch again…
If they’re not back by the next one, I may draw them as ghosts.
HHNF Is alive and well on Facebook. Under that name. Hell Hath No Fury. I felt very honored when she friended me.
Do you know
what secret robot monkey pirate ninja alien organization kidnapped herwhy she hasn’t been visiting?[true drunken weekend corey]..and then there was the time that after a full day and night of drinking my dad and his buddies decided to round up a goat and have a goat-roast….the dog hasn’t been seen since…[/end true drunken weekend corey]
*deploys motion-sickness bag*
I thought you were about to cross a line there when you said goat, but thankfully not. Although, you know, I might have just crossed it in typing that…
Yes, Astro…it’s much better to have had the dog disappear isn’t it?
Well, I don’t think it’s illegal to eat your dog, but I’m sure it’s illegal to “cross the line” with a goat.
I think it depends on which state you do the “crossing” in.
I think that doesn’t matter unless (s)he(?) lives in West Virginia. Or maybe Tennessee.
This was in Arkansas…no sh*t…crazy m-effers…
I’ve been to a few BYOB parties (which let’s face it, is way lame), and even a BYOT (theme) party once… but a BYOP party? No. No. No. NO.
BYOB is definitely lame after college. In college, you’re all equally poor, so BYOB is reasonable.
I sometimes require BYOB at impromptu get-togethers of The Guys friends, but that’s just because I’m not catering a spontaneous gaming session. For actual parties, there are libations provided, and you’re welcome to bring something if you’re particular.
We do have one friend who brings to every get together. But then he also demands the leftovers when he goes. He’ll show up with a bag o’cans, or a backpack with liquor in it. He’s cheap.
I bet that guy’s still single, isn’t he, Meredith? Or if he isn’t, his gf is tyrannized by his thrift.
Well, I find it handy to advise what I keep in the house, and if a person has a different preference, they might want to bring their own.
As it is a bit like inviting people to have gumbo, on the doorstep is a bad place to ask if there is anything going that does not have seafood in it. (But, if at the point of invitation, this is brought up, then a non-seafood dish can be more easily considered.)
I feel like even in college BYOB is kind of ridiculous.
Well, granted, most of my college “parties” involved traveling to visit my best friend at her school for a weekend, along with the rest of the high school group. What usually happened was we’d all arrive, and then head off to the liquor store and the grocery store for all necessary supplies for a weekend o’ fun. I think all the other parties were the “bring something if you don’t like cheap crappy beer” so I just kind of automatically interpreted those as BYOB, since I don’t even like good beer, let alone piss beer. I’m not sure, aside from the weekend-long parties, if even in college I ever attended or hosted a straight BYOB…so, I guess you’re right, it’s lame no matter what.
I’ve partied with a few* pigs and it’s not as much fun as this guy seems to think, at least not the next morning anyway…
*Lots of
I bet they were real animals, too.
I went to an ag college with classes in animal husbandry. There was plenty of partying with the pigs… one which happened during parent week. The parents who found him were shocked, *shocked* I tell you.
(and, tangentially related, the MMO I play has a keg you can get for your house that will make your character pass out and wake up someplace random… occasionally in a pigsty… occasionally without pants. It’s rated Teen.)
Entry 8675309* in Lazy Bastards on Craigslist
Translation: “We have a cow. We’re tired of feeding it/it eating the whole damn yard and shrubbery and who knows, maybe pets and sh!t. We hear they’re good eatin.’ But, we gotta get it to the butcher. Wanna help? Also, could you bring your own gun, ’cause we don’t have anything big enough to hit it on the head with, and the butcher only butches, he doesn’t kill. That costs extra, and we are lazy and cheap. So, wanna help? We offer nothing in return except our sterling company.”
*Apologies to Tommy Tutone
Sounds like somebody’s been to Southern Illinois.
More like rural eastern Washington and north Idaho*, Taco. π
*[regionalism corey] Local preference employs “North Idaho” rather than the usual “Northern [state].” Reasons for this are not known. [/regionalism corey]
Those areas are pretty similar to Southern Illinois, actually. The only thing different is the accent.
So. Ill. is close enough to Kentucky that there’s a twangy influence … and there’s more of that in N. Ida. than you might think.
N. Ida has more Neo Nazi’s though.
My grandmother lives there. In her words, “This place would be great without all the stupid people.”
I love visiting her there, it makes the racism in Milwaukee seem more upbeat and friendly.
“I hate Illinois Nazis.”
I have good friends who live in NI and their attitude is similar. From what I have observed, I rather agree. Of course, the same could go for nearly anywhere. I don’t know anywhere that is idiot-free.
Doors for Manda for the Blues Brothers reference!
My fear was even worse:
“We have a cow. It died. We don’t want to pay someone to dispose of it, and we don’t want to take the chance of eating it. So we’re trying to pawn it off on some poor sucker who doesn’t know any better. We’re SURE that food borne illnesses are just a load of hooey….oh, but no, we don’t want any, thanks.
Oh, and you can pay us for our ‘a beef’. Come SOON”.
Tarnation, Billy! That’s the fifth dang cow mutilation we’ve had this month! What’re we gonna do with all that meats? We can’t keep selling it to the pump’n’munch.
I got’s it paw! We puts it on the computer machine! People love beef, and people love computers.
Well dadgum Billy, that there’s the smartest thing you ever did say! I’m finally glad I eloped with cousin Betty.
Taco, were you stalking me again? How did you know I was having a conversation on Facebook last night about the ick factor of marrying your first cousin (despite it being legal in most states)?
[Japan corey]
In Japan it’s perfectly acceptable (even somewhat common) for first cousins to marry.
[/corey]
I have an uncle who married his third cousin (very tiny Southern town, just about everyone was related to everyone else in some way) and they managed to produce two relatively normal children. No tails or flipper-feet that I know of.
Given the urgency it may mean; “We had a cow, but it got into the ratbait and now we have a beef. Too heavy to move and we can’t get the truck close enough to push it without getting stuck in the mud. Come help us haul it to the processor and you can have it, we don’t want it since it’s starting to smell. We’re under the funnel of vultures to the north of town.”
zzzaaactly, SJ.
Taco, aren’t cattle mutilations how they get “shredded beef” at mexican places?
SJ, one could also substitute “it got into the ratbait” with “Cleetus Jr. got into the gun cabinet even though Pappy thought he locked it and hid the key in the Bible ‘cos no one ever looks at it unless we have to write in that someone died or got pregnant and had to git married, and besides Cleetus Jr was still grounded from the time he hotwired the tractor and raided the still and plowed up the cotton when he drove it onto the field while intoximacated” and have another explanation for the situation … at least, in my mind … I can just imagine the
wacky highjinkstrauma ensuing (at least for the farm fauna population) in that case.Upon reading this, a thought: Maybe I should not finish my coffee.
or maybe you should have more Lola?
Do you think, dev? I’m rather rambling on as it is.
and this is unusual in here because?
I thought that was what we all did? Or maybe it’s just me then….
Nice to see you again Dev.
I feel like I’m doing it more than usual. Or using less punctuation while doing so. Or something.
I think the heatwaves have baked my brain.
My family says I ramble on verbally all the time, whether or not someone is present. I’ve come to believe the habit was developed in response to being an only child…always someone around to talk up and the repartee was always witty. (heh) So wish it could translate as well to my YSaC comments. I have absolutely stunning conversations with the monitor, then go to type and am finger-tied. (sigh) Wish there was voice-activated commenting ability. *
*this may or may not be a good idea
*lighbulb illuminates*
Archie, I, too, am an only child.
Ah, welcome fellow member of the “onlies” club. Perhaps someday your imaginary friend could meet my imaginary friend. They could share a flask and compare notes on what it was like to grow up with a precocious girl child as their earthly responsibility.
Can I join if I make my sister “disappear”?
**heads to go post Craigslist ad, reads rules, sighs dejectedly.**
I’m technically in the “onlies” club, as I never lived with my half-sisters. I barely had a relationship with them beyond “babysitter” until I reached adulthood.
I’m also an only.
Hey, I was an only child, too. My brothers and sister were “normal” – they missed all the fun.
*wanders away arguing with himself about “who Mom liked best – me or my alter ego” – loses argument…*
Ok, [benefit of doubt corey], these are cityfolk who took in a beeve from some neighbor at the new “country place” without knowing how many acres of grass it takes and how much water is needed to keep a beeve healthy (and have discovered just how expensive hay is in either rolls or bales).[/corey]
[cynical corey]Same scenario as above, but one of Sparky’s sharper neighbors unloaded a downer beeve on the naifs. Thus the urgency.[/corey]
Oooh, downer cows!
*deploys new airsick bag*
I’ve always wondered…
why is that
cows= beef
pigs= pork
but
chicken= chicken
(or turkey or duck for that matter)
Why don’t birds get a name when they’re dinner?
They get a nifty name when they’re all stuffed inside of one another….
Turduken is really just a portmanteau, though. If you stuffed pig bits inside cow bits it would probably be called “Poreef” or something like that.
As long as you don’t try to combine Quail and Beef.
Yeah, Bail is already a word so it would be confusing.
What?
I think that would taste terrible, anyway…..
well played, Taco.
I was going to go more with “Queef” … but that just sounds like something else. Something WAY else.
zzzaaaactly, Mudsy.
And don’t tell ANYONE that you’re a “queef eater”. Unless it’s on the internet and you’re into that kind of thing.
So not eating anything with the word “turd” as part of its name.
Well, quail are so lean, they are better with pork fat.
I’ve got a restaurant recipe around here some where, for quail stuffed with chorizo blanco de espaΓ±a & bell peppers, then wrapped in bacon, then lardo, then dipped in beaten whole egg. These are dipped in a deep fryer to set, then put on a wire rack and baked to finish crispy (this is not a “home friendly” recipe, just as many restaurant ones are).
Turduken is really best deep fried–only real problem is that a small one runs to about 28-30# (which also limits the ability to bake one, as well). Honestly, a tureen works much simpler and to similar effect.
There’s a Mediterranean recipe that takes a turduken and stuffs that into a pig and then in a beeve. (Just to swerve this back to the tracks the least bit.)
Oooohhhh noooooooo. South Park did an episode about that once. ‘Nuf said.
frog legs = chicken
kimchi = chicken
monk fish = chicken
rocky mountain oysters = chicken
rattlesnake = chicken
cockatoo = chicken
kfc = grease
Actually when I had it:
rattlesnake = trout
No no noooooo. I had rattlesnake too. It DID taste like chicken.
Mine was very fishy tasting, like seasoned trout. Maybe the one I ate spent a lot of time at the beach.
The ones at the beach taste more like:
rattlesnake = seagull
A friend offered me KFC once. I like chicken. But I swear, in that whole bucket, all there seemed to be were bones covered in grease and coating. I don’t think there there was any actual chicken in that “chicken”.
KFC is to Chicken
as Taco Bell is to Tacos.
Isn’t kimchi pickled cabbage? I don’t remember it tasting like chicken…I remember it tasting like cabbage.
I thought everything that one would suppose would taste “weird” gets chalked up to tasting like chicken at some point.
pickled = fermented
To me, there’s a big difference. Just ask my Claussens.
hmm, reminds me of a conversation about Spoo
I always thought it was weird meat that tastes like chicken, that’s all. Carry on.
There is a difference between fermented and pickled, so fermented may be what I meant. π
geez, my nerdiness is really showing today. I may need to go lie down for a while.
Spoo = chicken
So… what does chicken taste like?
Does it taste like Tasty Wheats?
I had ostrich once (don’t worry, Dan, it was just ostrich, not ostrimu) and it tasted like roast beef.
Nice Babylon 5 reference there Dev.
“Every space-faring race has two things in common. First, they all have a food identical to what Humans call Swedish Meatballs. Don’t ask. I don’t understand it. It’s just there. And they all share a myth about a time when ancient dark forces prowled the universe, only to be cast down or cast away by an even greater force.”
LimeLolly: Chiken tastes like people.
glad someone spotted it TM, was hoping it wasn’t just me.
but as far as “tastes like people” are you sure you’re not thinking of Soylent….no wait, that is people
Eddie Izzard says chicken tastes of human, and I believe him. Mostly because I haven’t had the
opportunitydesire to disprove the claim.I don’t know, LimeLolly. How do you know what Tasty Wheat tastes like?
Maybe that’s why chicken tastes like everything…hmmm…..
*throws a door at Meredith*
Thanks for not leaving me hanging there.
all the kimchee I’ve had only tasted like searing-hot undiluted capcasin–but, that’s what happens when you have neighbors from Seoul.
I swear Kimchi tastes like butter. Can’t be chicken.
[corey-ish]Silva, your birds are all just poultry or fowl when they are dinner. They sorta have another name but they are forced to share it around. And to make it even worse, some of your mammalian-types get TWO names depending on how old they are: lamb/mutton, veal/beef.
Does goat get a dinner name? I don’t think I have heard one.
I don’t think your rodents get dinner names, either.
And I don’t actually find that rabbit tastes like chicken. Sure, it’s a mild, pale meat but it was richer and sweeter than chicken when I last made stew. I even did a batch of chicken the same way so folks could compare (or avoid the rabbit if they were prejudiced.)[/corey-ish]
Yeah, poultry, but they don’t have a specific name.
Maybe goat has a name in a foreign language. I’ve never had anything from a goat before besides cheese.
I could never eat a bunny. Owned too many pet ones in my day.
Goat is usually called chevon, since most people prefer the fancy French name.
They had a Mad Men marathon on AMC last night with a few episodes from last season. I was half-watching while studying, and one of the episodes was this woman who was looking for someone to come up with a better term than “horse meat” for what was in her company’s dog food. They discussed the whole “beef/pork/poultry” thing, as we’ve been doing, and she complained that there’s no word for horse meat. I didn’t think of this when the episode originally aired last summer, but this time I suddenly thought, “well, what about cheval?” which is the French word. My thought process involved escargots as opposed to chevon, but still. A fancy French word makes everything okay.
Chevon when it is not kid (and chevonette or cabrito are often used instead)
Fowl can be quite confusing, capon, cornish hen, rock hen, poussonnes–all of those are chickens. And squab are pigeons (supposed to be farm-raised; supposed to be . . . )
I thought capons were for guitars…
[chicken corey] A capon is a rooster that has been castrated.[/chicken corey]
A capo is the guitar-thingy.
But, but, mudsy makes such a good pun on guitarists . . .
They do — they’re called “cooked”.
Oh, and Pigs can also = ham, depending on which bit is carved off.
You called?
BWAH! Many doors.
Isn’t a BWAH! what youw avataw is weawing?
*Bwushes
Be vewwy vewwy quiet…
I’m hunting powk.
Thank you, Astrofud!
Wasn’t Astrofud in an episode of Piiiiiiiiiiiiiigs in Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace*echo*
In this episode Captain Link Hogthrob flies the starship Swinetrek to close to a sun while first mate Piggy is outside on a space walk. Red shirt Astrofud Weaner can only watch while Piggy is roasted alive and eaten by space sharks.
Dr. Julius Strangepork was able to find one of Piggies feet and, with the use of a George Foreman grill and a few crack blocks, was able to clone Piggy.
Meanwhile red shirt Astrofud meets his end in an unfortunate accident involving the transporter and a green alien chick with a hot avatar…
*To be continued…Ending scene, we see the Swinetrek flying up to Uranus
Up Uranus. π
Again?
*sigh*
Many doors for the Swinetrek scene, HamCan! 8)
Because when we eat birds, it’s personal.
Sure the other animals are tasty, but we feel kinda bad. Not with birds though. Birds will pay for what they did to us in the copper age. Pay with their tasty, tasty bodies.
EDIT: Drat this was supposed to go under silva.
Taco, I wonder what Windrose thinks about birds having to pay …
*Hides behind Lola*
If anyone asks, that text was on the website before I got here.
Taco, you fool – tuck your ears down and hide under Lola’s ‘knees’.
Silly Taco – gotta teach him everything, over and over.
I wonder how Mrs. Taco feels about him trying to be under Silva?
Oh
deervenisonI seem to recall that TacoMa’am is a black belt.
We might need to get another mouse with an unbubler.
or a new helmet, cup and extra padding for TM?
Birds are very expensive, I wish they could pay! 8) And it would take so many zebra finches to make a decent pie!
Sidebar regarding Chthulhu, he comes from a hunting family. The first time we went to the San Diego Zoo, he kept looking at al the hoof stock and wondering what sauce would go best with each one. LOL There’s room for all of God’s creatures, right next to the mashed potatoes!
Don’t forget the gravy.
Lola, your picture is making me drool. Even I am not immune to the glorious combination that is:
Red Hair
+
Lovely mammaries
+
Face of Innocence
+
Eyes that say otherwise
________________
=Light-from-Heaven-glorious-choir-of-Angels-singing-stop-you-in-your-tracks beauty
Lola’s avatar is, indeed, extremely aesthetically pleasing. Of course, I can’t look at it without wondering what the lady goes through/had to go through/continues to go through to maintain that.
Thanks … though if I’d realized it would have caused such comment, I would have chosen something more nun/burqua in terms of wardrobe. Might change it later.
See yesterday’s thread for earlier discussion re: person/source.
Well as long as you’re keeping us a breast of the situation. I’d hate to feel that we’d caused mountains of ruckas over you.
Lola, we are unabashed, shameless geeks and she’s a peach. We’re naturally going to drool and geek out all over her. We’ll get over it. π
Eventually.
Probably.
As long as she doesn’t find a “Christina Hendricks lounging with Bryce Dallas Howard” picture, I should be okay. In a week or so.
Lola: cheesecake is ALWAYS good, even for breakfast!!!
Can some one explain to Taco that “Son, where I come from, they usually are in pairs.”?
Haven’t read all the comments, so not sure if this has already been said. I come from a long line of cattle raisers and that’s pretty typical vernacular for taking a steer in to be butchered. My first reaction was, well, Yum! Then I thought, “Why did this make it onto YSaC?” Then I realized that probably does sound a bit funny to people that haven’t heard it put that way before.
You’re missing the corey tags, dear.
Also, in the add their tense is all whacked. They claim to have done something right now in the past that still has yet to be done.
*ad
I’m not going to attempt to untangle the rest.
Crap. I hate it when I misspell something and create something that’s also a word. Makes spellcheck not such a helpful friend.
“Damnit, why can’t you correct my sentences to say what I mean, not what is spell right!”
A context-check would be a wonderful thing.
Along those lines…”not what is spell right” is not what you meant. π
*Shakes fist*
More cofee!
*looks at what he typed*
Meh.
You actually said that so I could understand it.
I think we should both find that frightening.
Ask not what you can speel right for your country, but what rights you can Spell!
Capn, I want to steal that for my Facebook status. May I?
Certainement mon amies d’oiseaux
I want to rent your human. many firm obos.
My friend is having a human roast and I want to bring a pet human to walk around for entertainment purposes. My friends are all responsible and the human will be well cared for and looked after. Preferably a small cute one. respond via e-mail.
Maybe it’s the other kind of roast…. the kind where comedians insult the person for an hour or so for “laughs”
When that pig pigs out, it really pigs out!
Wilbur’s wife went Kosher just so he couldn’t pork her.
*putting myself in the corner.
don’t bother with the corner, come down to the gutter with me, I have cushions….
Line crossed.
you’re welcome too Muddy, you know we keep a large gutter here right? Always well stocked on the cushions front too. Although we could do with some cake, got any?
Cake? All I’ve got are some chips from the back dumpster, some vintage cereal and an expired coupon for coffee from the WaWa.
ΧΧΧ! ΧΧΧ ΧΧ©ΧΧ§ ΧΧΧΧΧ Χ ΧΧ¨Χ. ΧΧ©ΧΧΧ ΧΧ ΧΧͺΧ Χ¦Χ¨ΧΧ ΧΧΧ©ΧΧ Χ’Χ ΧΧΧ¦ΧΧ’ ΧΧ€Χ¨Χ!
This is all Babblefish would give me on that translation:
Oh! Such Delete word awful. For this you need to think about evil indulgence.
I say….Whisky Tango Foxtrot!
L’chaim!
Google gives me:
Oh! Such a terrible pun. That’s what you should think about making atonement!
So Google wants me to think making atonement is a terrible pun, it would seem.
I’m chalking it up to Gramps typo-ing something there. Yup. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Unless you have to read it backwards and it says something about Paul being dead.
So THAT’s how fortune cookie fortunes are written . . .
yes but mainly……
…in bed!
No, that’s how they are read, not uh, bred
*wandering off in self-confusion*
Genius! Captain, you’re clearly on to something.
Confucius say you should avoid all bee covered trucks and life sized cutouts of Beatrice Arthur.
Let’s test it. This is the same phrase as above, but cross-translated through Hebrew:
Confucius says you should avoid all bees and covered trucks and life-size cutouts of Beatrice Arthur.
Now Chinese:
Confucius said, you should avoid bees, covering all the trucks and life-size cut of Beatrice Arthur.
And Hindi:
Confucius says, Beatrice Arthur and life size cutouts you cover all trucks should avoid bee.
All one after the other:
Confucius said, you avoid the flies, all trucks and Beatrice Arthur should cover the life-size cut.
That is fantastic, Astro! A door for you!
Is it wrong that I want that on a t-shirt?
Only if you don’t share them.
It could be written on a graphic of a piece of paper over a broken fortune cookie, and be credited to “Rooster with a typewriter.”
Well, here is a sampling, verbatim, of the weirdest of the weird I have recieved:
You will soon be crossing desert sands for a fun vacation.
Behind an able man, there are always.
When the moment comes, take the top one.
Your problem just got bigger. Think, what have done?
Which is probably “shirt worthy” in and of itself.
ΧΧΧ! ΧΧΧ ΧΧ©ΧΧ§ ΧΧΧΧΧ Χ ΧΧ¨Χ. ΧΧ©ΧΧΧ ΧΧ ΧΧͺΧ Χ¦Χ¨ΧΧ ΧΧΧ©ΧΧ Χ’Χ ΧΧΧ¦ΧΧ’ ΧΧ€Χ¨Χ
Well, Astro was reasonably close. It should have translated as “Oy! For such a terrible pun you should be thinking of making atonement!”
Grapms, did you get that from a translation program, or your own knowledge of Hebrew?
Continuing on my list of knowing third hand how things taste.
Humans? Heard they’re the saltiest “beef” you could eat.
Will stop speaking now.
Congrats, Astro! You got into the box, so Windrose will be punchifying you later today!
Does that count as child abuse?
…
Hmm, never thought about it that way … maybe if he can get a signed waiver from his parents it will be OK.
Ooooor, if we just don’t tell anyone.
Repeat after me Astro, “it’s a football injury.”
Corey time!
[corey] Anyone can consent to a tort action on them, including children, as long as the consent is age-appropriate, meaning the child knows what he or she is consenting to. As a punch would be a battery, and Astro is old enough to understand the consequences of consenting to a battery, it’s fine. [/corey]
Yay, I studied torts yesterday!
Maybe we need a new [Bridgete] tag, for all the legalese stuffs π
But don’t worry, we know that you’re not berating us like [Corey] and [Matt] did!
…In other news, is the earth wobbling where you are? It feel pretty wibbly-wobbly here -_-
So, if we have a Bridgete tag, does that mean I can just write the legalese stuff without tags when I’m posting under my own name? Would be a lot easier than the constant [corey][/corey].
And I know you know I’m not berating you. π
I think I’d have to come along and post after all your legal posts though.
What?
That’s true, Taco, nothing makes me cringe more than some people’s dangling tags.
What?
I forgot to respond to the wibbly-wobbly earth. No earth wobbling here, as far as I know.
That’s OK, Bridgete, I’m sure it’s just me anyways. I’m pretty sure I’ve got an ear infection from somewhere, because just swiveling my head to look between monitors is making the room tilt under me. Ughh…
Well, Bridgete is worthy, and seeing as how she keeps getting shorted E’s all the time, perhaps we should let her just use Β§ as her sigil for [I’m highly studied on legal matters corey]
And, there’s likely a faster way, but that’s ALT+0167 on my full keyboard; you cool kids ought to invest $25 in a usb numeric keypad for your laptops. About the size of a deck of UNO cards, so not too bulky for the laptop case.
I already have a USB 10-key. After my two years in bookkeeping, I didn’t want to be completely without the possibility. But, as I’ve been mobile so often the last 3 years, it usually has its home on the desk alongside the USB mouse. Perhaps now that I won’t need to take my computer with me every day, I’ll create a more stationary setup…accounting for how often I wander about the house with laptop, of course.
I could put Β§Bridgete, since otherwise I’m just using a symbol for “section”.
Okay! Now that I’m at the bottom of the page, I mentioned being awakened by an early phone call (okay, early being 10 since all I’m doing is studying and I’m a night owl) with good news. So, yesterday, there was a new job posting on Monster.com that is ACTUALLY commensurate with my experience level, as opposed to most of the postings that say 7-10 years, and the handful that want 3-5 years. So, I submitted my resume. They called me this morning. Woot! Interview on Friday. All this after I finally gave in and signed on with a legal temp agency yesterday (NOT temp-to-hire…it was the “better than nothing” approach).
It’s a really small family law firm. Two female partners and one female associate, and they’re looking for a new entry-level associate…my guess is they want another female. Family law kind of sucks, you have to do a lot of divorces and stuff, but it’s alright.
In case you’re confused, I think I hadn’t mentioned that, like many recent law grads these days, I was about to be a waitress with a J.D. I still might, since obviously the interview has to go well…but I’m an excellent interviewee, my trouble is always getting the interview. In all my years of working, I think I’ve been passed over twice once I actually got the interview.
So, anyway, here’s hoping! π
You could borrow Lola’s avatar and get a job at hooters.
(seriously good luck!!)
Hahaha…right, thanks.
(seriously, thanks!)
Bridgete — I’m considering that a good sign all around. I got a call this morning to set up job interview Wednesday afternoon. I think it must be a good karma day. Good luck!!!!!
Ooh, good luck to you too, Artsy! π
good luck Bridgete, we’ll all have our fingers crossed for you
As well as other body parts crossed..
Just as long as it’s not family law with Paula Berg. Ugh.
*I won’t elaborate*
This. Is. Awesome. Best wishes for you. If there is some patron saint of lawyers, let me know and I’ll light a candle for you on Friday.
Family law is not always ideal, but lately I’ve heard that for things like divorce, arbitration/mediation rather than litigation is being increasingly encouraged. Domestic practice may not quite be getting kinder and/or gentler, but it may be a little less unpleasant. Good luck!
Athena was the goddess of justice (as well as wisdom and all that jazz), so I bet you could just light a candle to her! Thanks!
Good point about arbitration/mediation. And, actually, there are many theories out there that say that the main reason for that shift in ALL areas of law is because of the increased numbers of female attorneys. Which makes sense, and if that’s actually the case, then an all-female law firm would be just the place! π
I feel like THAT is where Wonder Woman would have her day job.
Bridgete, do you ever read Lisa Scottoline? Rosato & Associates came immediately to mind when you described the firm.
At the risk of outing myself as a complete dork… when I was in World History class in 10th grade, I decided I had a bit of a crush on Athena. I mean, goddess of wisdom and justice, but also the goddess of tactics and war strategy, she preferred to settle things using reason and logic but wasn’t afraid to outsmart an enemy on the battlefield. I decided for myself that had I been 3,400 years younger and a god, I would’ve totally got with her. We’d sit around the dinner table with our buddies Pythagorus and Plato, chit-chatting about how to bring about enlightenment and wisdom among the masses, while plotting elaborate Rube Goldberg-style city defenses to keep our enemies at bay.
I’ll take your “dorkness” and raise you one…
I fell in love with Apollo after watching ST’s episode of Who Mourns for Adonis. Not necessarily because he was good looking [not so much] but because he could hold the Enterprise between his fingers like The Boys “I’m crushing your head” in the Hall.
No, Lola, I haven’t ever read her. But I’ll investigate, I never turn down book recommendations! Although that sometimes means it takes me a while to actually get to reading it…I have over 40 unread books on my shelf right now.
Lighting a votive candle to the goddess Themis.
I’ll outgeek you all and light votive candles to Big Barda and Diana of Themiscyra.
Good luck with your interview! When is your bar exam again?/When do you find out how you did?
Bar exam is July 28 & 29 (I’d better get off YSaC and go study, especially considering time taken out for the interview) and I won’t find out until the end of October/beginning of November. The latest possible date to get the results is November 14.
Best of luck!
Thanks everyone! π
Bridgete, my first four years of legal work was for a firm that specialized in family law (mostly high end cases in the Bay Area and Marin County). I found it fascinating, enlightening and depressing all at the same time. I wouldn’t trade those years, however, because they taught me a lot I still use in business today. Good luck to you!
good luck! π
[Encouragement Corey] YAY! BRIDGETE! You are going to do wonderfully! [NO end Encouragement Corey]
Good Luck!
Good luck Bridgete and Artsy! My husband has a phone interview on Thurs., so let’s hope it’s a good week for employment all around!
*rubs elbows with Bridgete, Artsy, and AR’s husband* Here’s hoping there is an interview soon for my honey. At least the unemployment front looks okay.
“Well we don’t rent pigs and I figure it’s better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is… he’s hard to stop.”
Sheriff Hartwell?
Ummmm….adore.
Wait, isn’t a rent a pig one of those fake mall cops?
This all makes sense now, this is a bachelorette BBQ and they want a male stripper dressed like a fake cop.
*Volunteers
I just had a mental picture of Kevin James dressed as a mall cop stripper.
Actually, it was pretty funny.
I actually think he’s kinda cute, in an oversized-puppy sort of way.
SJ, I agree with your thought.. but picture his dancing from the movie ‘Hutch’, in his ‘Mall Cop’ uniform, knowing it’s supposed to be a striptease.
Now tell me that didn’t make you laugh.
*pictures it*
That made me giggle and then I kinda wanted to find some singles.
Now where did the brain bleach go?
Actually, “a beef” is pretty common lingo among livestock farmers and such. It is of course in reference to “a beef cow”, but nearly everyone I have ever spoken about it with has shortened it. And often, it’s sold in quarters or halves, as in “I’ve got a quarter of a beef in my freezer.” That of course means you bought 1/4 of the meat from a whole beef cow.
And most likely the reason that these folks need to sell their beef is because it got big enough that it needed butchered but they most likely raise an entire herd of beef cattle and have already gotten all the meat they need from a previously butchered one. You can’t just keep feeding them indefinitely. It’s not hard to find someone with livestock that needs butchered.
Hey Jess, glad to see ya…pardon me a minute
*scanning with metal detector*
boop, boop, boop, PING
Ah, there’s those [corey] tags. I ‘knew’ they’d been dropped around here someplace.
*reattaches to the above post*
How about you set a spell with us and have a lime margarita? I hate drinking alone.
Oh, so corey tags are metal? Good to know. I’ll have to be sure I’m not carrying any extra tags the next time I go to the airport.
Why do posts about beef bring out all the coreys? People are really persnickety about beef terminology. I would be funnier about this, but it’s the last week of summer classes, and I haven’t slept in awhile… I have class taken to be finished but I need someone to class it soon, so that I can recover my snark.
Beef is serious business.
Or don’t step in a beef’s business..
If the grass is really green, you know there’s a cow pie in there somewhere.
1400 CDT and 252 posts!? Almost daunting.
I’m rather tired, myself.
Yeah, it’s hard to keep
switching avatarsrefreshing the page.Well, it is obvious that Sparky missed the ad below in the “PETS” category in CL:
PIGLET – Free to a good home. We love our little piglet and wish we could keep him, but we just don’t have the time to prepare him for real life. He is beautiful and tender-hearted. He will come with everything you need to have him be outstanding (cage, food, marinade, etc.). There is no re-homing fee, we just want him to go someplace where he will be warmly appreciated and served with compassion.
Again, there is no re-homing fee, but we would accept any contributions of leftovers. If interested, please call xxx-xxx-xxxx and ask for Christopher or Robin.
Oh, we also have a mule for sale.
There ya go scaring the kids again GD.
Hey, There’s a place for some BOINGIES in this story!
That would be the next ad, when he sells the Not.A.Lion.
How long have you been stalking Piglet?
Since he was a little oinker.
First they put Pooh in the sweatshops making honey…
and now this!
Your grandchildren are scarred for life by that one. *sobbing*
[Warning: Southerner]
The pig ad is actually kinda makin’ me wanna go to a pig-pickin’.
As a man on the phone said to my Great Aunt upon her first pig-pickin’:
“Y’all ain’t never been to no pig-pickin’ afore, have ya Miss?”
[End Southerner]
I think that’s also what Atticus asked Scout when she was putting on her ham costume.
You called too?
(I seem to be popular today)
Yes…as popular as…..
…ham canned…
[Southern]
Nao lookit watchya did,Aztro, yah went’en made meh hunn’gree! Ah ain’t haddah deesin’ pig pickin’ en fur’evah!
[/Southern]
That is actually a fair approximation of how I usually sound when I’m not “behaving myself”, i.e. when I’m not on the phone at work.
[country girl corey] “A beef” may be a regionalism, since here in Oregon I’ve never heard it called anything other than “beef”. I have “a quarter of beef” in the deep freeze right now. When you are dealing with home grown beef (as opposed to feedlot beef where it’s all done on an assembly line) there is also a separation in time and distance between slaughter, which usually done by a mobile service that comes right to your pasture, and butchering, which is done elsewhere. [/country girl corey]
Possible issues of vernacular and jargon aside, this is still a terrible ad. How much beef are they selling? Are they selling a side? A quarter? By the wrapped piece? How much are they charging per pound? Would it have killed them to use a comma or two?
Edit– Wow, OK, there should maybe be some [grumpy Lethe] tags in there, too. Either too much caffeine today or not nearly enough.
From your description then, “a beef” implies that the ‘deed’ has already been done [hence the freezer reference]. This ad is clearly pre-deed.
I say, if it’s still moo-ing, it’s not beef yet. Unless it’s a cow sculpture made out of butter. Then it’s OLEO and county-fair-awesome!
Oleo? Is that a Japanese Oreo?
[crossword corey] Just about every time a crossword puzzle clue indicates a buttery spread, the answer is oleo…so I think it’s margarine. [/corey]
What Bridgete said. The big brand name of margarine was Oleo (who may or may not have also sold corn oil).
When it first came out, they had a small capsule of yellow dye that you kneaded into the pure-white margarine, this, per my grandparents.
Either the need to knead, or the commonness of the corn oil brand name being why the hydraulic struts in aircraft landing gear are still known as “oleos” today.
[cg corey, continuing to tell you more than you ever wanted to know about where steak comes from] No, if it’s moo-ing, it’s not beef. Steer, heifer, bull, cow… not beef.
To me, though, the phrase “taken in to be butchered”, would imply the ‘deed’ IS already done and the beef (which has already been partially processed by the slaughter company and driven in their van to the butcher) has either already been cut into pieces you could cook, or else is at the end of its aging at the butcher’s and needs to get cut and frozen ASAP. [/cg corey]
So if that’s the case, then maybe Sparky just doesn’t want to pay the butcher as much as it would cost to buy all the meat. This being CL, though, it’s just as likely that they’re trying to say they bought a steer to raise in order for it to end up as food, and now they want someone to come get it and do ‘the deed’ because they are a) too attached, b) tired of it, c) lazy, etc.
I have now applied far more brainpower to this than Sparky ever did, and am going to think about a moo-ing cow sculpture made out of butter, instead! Maybe a pair of them, for either side of the front door.
Would you all just let the cow DIE already!!!
*goes back to pulled pork sammich*
Ouch! Stop!!!
No…wait…DON”T STOP!!
Oregonians unite! Except I’m not.a.country.girl. Although I still seem to know a TINY bit more about husbandry/agriculture than these Bostonians…just not as much as you do.
Yay, webfoots! I’m sure it’s been so much longer since Boston had cows roaming about that it’s just no longer in the zeitgeist over there. My grandparents had Herefords when I was growing up, and every year there was a new side of beef in the freezer, so it’s just one of those things I always knew about.
I just moved back to the country (and here I’m using “country” to refer to 15 acres in the Eugene Metro area, not like Harney County or anything like that… *shudder*) after 10 years in Portland. As much as I miss the art museum and the sushi, I am.a.country.girl at heart, and I feel SO much better now!
You mean you didn’t move to Wagon Tire, OR, population: 2? π
As for Boston…definitely no longer in the zeitgeist. The only remnants of cattle having ever been here is the roads that were plotted by cows* and the history of the Boston Common.
*Supposedly this is true, and it’s the reason driving anywhere new always requires about an hour of “whoops, I’m lost” time, with or without GPS.
So much corey today…my head hurts…
Apologies for my share of it, I woke up crabby and pedantic today. Going offline now!
On Tuesday corey had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
We learned about beef and pigs and fowl
E-I-E-I-O
With a corey tag here and a corey tag there
Open corey, closing corey, hidden coreys, too
On Tuesday corey had a farm
Quack Oink Baa Cluck Moo!
This belongs in the box tomorrow!
I can’t wait to punch you, Moira!
*drive-by hello-goodbye*
Goodnight all, good job snarking, see you in my a.m.
And Windrose, feel better!!!
Thanks, AR! I feel better, much, just sound like I am gargling gravel. TTFN!
Seeing as how Astro, even while on summer vacation, needs to get plenty of sleep, I will punch him now!
Astro, secure the helmet and smile for the cameras. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’night, Northern Idaho!
Ok, opened YSaC up at 2311 CDT to find 391 posts, and it is now 0022 (and a pleasant 71 minutes it has been, too).
Now, some Ice Cream and finish watching “World’s Most Extreme Airports” (and will strongly resist firing up Flight Simulator to try my hand at any of these).
Dear friends and neighbors,
strangers and spammers, too.
I’m having a lovely pig roast,
at my -xx4th of julyxx- barbecue.
Please bring your kids and spouses,
jello molds, cakes and pie.
Don’t forget your pig friend Wilbur,
Who’ll probably want to try.
There will be fireworks and dancing,
water gun fights and games.
One of which- how fun!-
will be watching Wilbur go up in flames.
Imagine roasted pig, on table,
shining apple below the snout.
As all gather ’round to behold,
Oh what a fabulous turn out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now, haiku:
Three day old beef sits
On a table, flies buzzing,
Growing old and grey.
Waiting for a note,
from some poor Craigslist reader,
‘never read this site.
I really like your username.
Oh, and the poems too. π
Bravo, TCMSunshine! Many doors for a well-done late night/early submission!
Over 400 responses? I think we’ve broken a YSaC record with this one.
Actually we’ve done over 1,000.
Granted the Llama-nun had to bribe the lurkers, but we did it.
Actually, Astro, the answer is nope, no record. There was a post, before your time, that went over 1,000. Here it is for your reading enjoyment. But be careful, loading it tends to stress the ‘puters.
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3912
Here’s to all the wonderful comments. I’m Bridgete’s mom and I’ve been a lurker. But I wanted to say thanks for all the encouragement and good thoughts you hold for her. She’s a pretty awesome person. Back to lurking now….
Aww…Bridgete….you don’t have to pretend to be your mom. We love you unconditionally.
I’m just impressed you/she knows how to work the “T”…
Mommy! ♥
She’s right, you guys have been awesome. I don’t think I would have stayed sane without everyone here.
And we both can work the T, she’s visited a lot.
I can’ work the “”.
Oh ‘aco’, for the love of clothespin Jesus….
My comment about the “T” was directed more at the “T”. Did you know that train just STOPS sometimes out of the blue—and the Blue line?
It also goes “express” at random, skipping several stops. Usually only on the green line, but the other day it happened on the red line. Some poor guy, not expecting it, got stuck for about 4 stops past where he wanted to get off.