YSaC, Vol. 731: No deposit, no return.
2010 July 18
blank Hibernia National Bank deposit slip – $5
I’m looking for a blank Hibernia National Bank deposit slip with the numbers 203643xxxx on it. I’ll give you $5 for it!
Out of kindness to this poor person, I’ve redacted a few of the numbers of his actual bank account which he posted on the internet for all to see.
So here’s what confuses me; I can’t figure out what the deal is here. Either:
- This guy lost his deposit slip and is hoping whoever found it will return it to him … to which one wonders why he would go to the trouble, since it’s a DEPOSIT slip, not a withdrawal slip, and if people are going to go around randomly depositing money into his bank account that’s not such a bad thing;
- He wants to deposit money into someone else’s account … in which case I will point him to the “Donate via PayPal” button directly to the right of this post;
- He’s worried that with a deposit slip out there with his account number on it, someone might be able to get up to shenanigans with his account … which is entirely plausible, but doesn’t explain why he posted his entire bank account number on Craigslist.
- Maybe it’s a keepsake?
- Maybe it had the phone number of a really hot girl he met at the bank on it?
- Maybe he drew his next big invention on it and wants it back so he can show everyone? (“You know, it’s for kids!”)
The other weird thing about all this, though, is that it was posted in the wanted section, not in lost and found. The mind boggles.
Thanks, candyashes!
7. Maybe he ran out of toilet paper.
8. Maybe she used it to blot her lipstick, and can’t remember what shade it was, but it looked marvelous!
(HamCan, you’re on a roll!)
9. A fortune cookie told him/her those were lucky numbers.
“(HamCan, you’re on a roll!)”
Cottonelle I hope and not that stuff we have at work that’s made from pine cones.
10. The winning PowerBall ticket was stapled to it.
11. He’d written the combination to his safe on it.
12.They only give out so many deposit slips at the sperm bank.
13. The wiring instructions for the Nigerian Finance Minister were written on the back and now he has no way to transfer that gigantic check he deposited. ( minus his modest fee, of course)
14. Sparky’s an asshat.
Oh dear, how on earth can I follow that?
Assuming I actually had a witty comment to add at this point, which sadly I don’t. Think I need more coffee.
I picture it as a moment of terror and confusion:
Sparky: “OMG! – I lost the deposit slip with the account number on it and I don’t remember the number! How will I ever be able to put money in my account again? (L O N G pause) I know, I’ll just put the account number in an ad on CL to get the slip back, then I’ll have the number so I can deposit money. Let’s see – the number is 203643xxxx. Now once I get the deposit slip back, I’ll be all set. YAY!”
(submits ad)
“Oh gee, maybe I should have put my Social Security Number and driver’s license number in also.”
(Begins typing new ad for CL)
I keep trying to come up with some kind of clever scam that Sparky is running here. The best (worst?) I can come up with is that the account belongs to Sparky’s ex, and s/he is is “helpfully” trying to find a missing slip by releasing the ex’s banking information to teh Interwebs. But I think that’s giving Sparky too much credit, and humanity really is just doomed.
And by the way – Good Morning, Windrose and Hamcan. Looks like a beautiful day for a snark, doesn’t it?
Morning!
Nothing better then snark and eggs for breakfast, washed down with a bacontini.
And maybe a loaf of coffee *yawns*
Jet lag from returning from the tidal pools?
(always worst west-to-east)
Pre-jet lag. I’m not even back yet, just exhausted. Went snorkeling yesterday though, so it was worth it.
(From Windrose) Morning, all! Here’s some fresh snarkcakes for everyone, from the lovely Mission Valley Sheraton Hotel. 8)
Are you cross dressing…errr…posting, today?
is that a parrot?
I’m pretty sure it’s a lion.
“Eyeballs??”
Mmmm, tasty, tasty eyeballs…
What?
Wait!
What?
since when do Daleks eat?
Since when have they colour-coordinated, either?
*wanders off muttering about CBeebies “Learn and play with Daleks!”
“E-DU-CATE”…*
Jen, please tell me that’s a joke, I beg of you.
The fact you even need to question that proves my point! Colourful is the opposite of scary! What next, pastel Daleks? “Well, we feel this way, we have less risk of alienating (pun!) the younger audiences, and we have high hopes that next season’s paisley model will bring in some of the previously under-represented hipster crowd”.
Jen, for that one alone, please take a door, in fact take many, many doors.
Blue doors, naturally; flashing light atop optional.
Sorry, I can’t help with a sonic screwdriver; mine are either manual or vodhka driven . . .
Slightly off topic post: I am being held hostage by a firewall. I can’t post from work anymore. I miss you all.
We miss you too, Camille!
Even more off topic, I work with a girl named Camille who suffers the same fate as you, no one can get her name right. She’s suffered everything from Carmen to Kim-meal.
Running with your off topic blurb: Having a discussion with a friend yesterday, and he told me people always get his name wrong. It’s Brett, but he does mumble, so I could understand the “Brad” and “Fred” mistakes. But the woman at the chinese food place really should have stopped to think about it for a minute. He picked up the food, looked at the receipt, and what was his name?
“Bread”.
I answer the phone at work with a standard “Good morning (or afternoon), this is (name of bank); my name is Sara, how can I help you?”
For some reason, about twenty or thirty percent of the people who hear that think my name is Beth. I have no idea what part of that sounds like Beth. It’s not the bank name, it doesn’t sound remotely like Beth; but then again, neither does my actual name.
My uncle Nick, due to his extremely poor handwriting, used to get mail addressed to Nit Wit.*
*Wit is not his last name. Although, now that I think about it, that could be kind of a cool last name. “Hello, I’m Mr. Wit.”
My name, “Carie” with one R, is almost inevitably spelled wrong. I’ve given up on ever having it spelled right, so I just tell the folks at Starbucks when they ask me how to spell it for the cup, “it doesn’t matter how it’s spelled, you’re just going to say it out loud.” This tends to confuse them horribly, but I’ve ended up with some fantastic variations on the name:
Kerry
Keri
Cary
Cari
Kerrie
… but they’ve never guessed it right, or even got “Carrie” . . . fascinating, the Starbucks inside the university bookstore. You’d think with their tendency to guess nonsense spellings they’d eventually get mine…
—–
other great name story:
My father is not known for his ability to take sensible phone messages. One day in high school, I come home and my father tells me “someone called for you.” Oh, I wonder, “who was it?” My father’s reply: “some girl with an unusual name.” Well, that’s marginally helpful, so I begin calling all my friends with “unusual” names… Linnea, JiaJing, Mickaela, etc…. until after about an hour I get a call back… from SARA: “Hey, didn’t your dad tell you I called?”
Apparently, to my dad, “Sara” is “an unusual name.”
Oh, I have more, now about my name. Something strange happened when I moved to Boston. Back in Portland, no one had any trouble with it. It was Bridgete, just like when you spell it without an E or with the two Ts. But ever since I moved, I’ve been getting a lot of people thinking it’s the French pronunciation (which is spelled Brigitte anyway). And one time I got “Brigita”.
They must have recently watched the Sound of Music. 🙂
I get Christine a lot, which bugs me, but is an understandable mistake. I’ve also been called Regina and Katrina, close enough, but Diane and Haley, no idea where those came from.
I did have an experience like Meredith’s friend “Bread”, I picked up a lunch order from a restaurant that was really noisy and the girl who took the order had a hard time understanding me. Not only was half the order wrong, the name on the receipt was “Crefeine.”
Ok, mentally trying to wrap my head around “Brigita” spoken Back-bay style with the “r” aspirated and a trailing “r” appended to that last “a”.
So, “BEH jitter” or “BAY grit AhR”
For when I’m asked for a name, I just tell them “Max”–short, hardly ever misspelled or mispronounced. Rare enough to stand out, too. Used to use Wolfgang, as it was nice and unique, so even misspoken and/or misspelt, it was recognizable.
There’s kind of a class division with the accent. This little speech from The Departed says it all.
I gave up getting my name spelled correctly at Starbucks and such long ago and started using “Bob” instead. I’ve found that while “Kelli” will end up being spelled “Kelly,” “Keli,” “Kelie,” “Kalie,” “Celi,”
“Kerry,” and my favorite “Karen;” Bob always comes back to me as “Bob”
*EDIT and I just accidently outed myself. I feel like I truly belong now. Crap.
It happens to us all, I wouldn’t worry.
Although when you start getting as bad as me, and posting comments from one of your fake names using another of your fakes names, you know you’ve truly lost it.
I can’t recall when it was, but I once posted using one username, with the others avatar, even confused myself that time, lol.
You just reminded me of my favorite Starbucks name mishap:
Starbucks guy: Can I have your name?
Me: Christina
SG: Christine?
Me: With an “A”
I get my drink, the cup reads “A Christine”.
A friend of mine used to use a fake name when she went to places that asked for her name; she used to tell them her name was “Melisma” (which is a musical term, not a name). She used to get really huffy when they would inevitably call out, “Order ready for Melissa!” — she would flounce up and say, flouncily, “My NAME is MELISMA!” and then flounce away.
Excellent idea.
I wonder how “Adagio non troppo” would be read out at a restaurant?
Would be mean at Fudruckers, since they key the name in one character at a time, and it prints vertically on the ticket.
I’ve used “SIR-oh” when there is a line; when asked, I spell that out as “S-R-O”–no one seems to get the joke, though.
I oughtta give my name as Allegro con Fuoco en Forza next time I go.
Bless you, Astro!
Gezundheit molto presto!
Miss you!
My sympathies Camille.
If it’s any consolation, I’m currently being held hostage by an ISP who keeps insisting there’s no fault with their service in our area. While I’m sure they think this is the case, this doesn’t explain why I, and my neighbour who uses the same service, have lost said service at least 12 times in the last five days.
so if I go quiet again soon….
AT&T, is that you?
Our service randomly goes extraordinarily slow. We once fought with them for three days over our speeds which were one tenth what they ought to be. Finally, someone said, “Let me just rebuild your account on the router” (or something to that effect) and in two minutes we were back up to speed. Seriously. Two minutes. Why the hell did no one do this before?
There’s apparently also epic corrosion on our pole which they don’t seem to feel like doing anything about.
Ah, the joys of what “all the techs” know.
Spent two years (641 days) complaining to my cable provider that I had bad reception in wind and rain and would lose channel reception in great rafts of bandwidth. And, that this was in a predicable pattern based on outside conditions.
Changed everything inside the house possible. But, all the techs knew the catenary was fiberoptic. So, none of them would put a ladder up and look (and in a tiny jot of fairness, the utility easement runs down the fence line without a service alley). Except, the catenary behind my house, and all the houses on my street is copper coax, not glass. (Still a half-mile to glass–so much for those ads for high-speed cable.)
So, one Sunday, with only 6 out of 254 channels coming in, I called again. I got a tech who was so new, the office called him to remind him to fill out his health insurance forms. He actually looked at the catenary. Which had a giant hole gnawed not just through the jacket, and the braid, but had bare core exposed.
D’oh!
Gosh, Moira, there’s nothing worse than a corroded pole!
What?
in my case it’s Virgin Media *chokes* and frankly their customer service staff could use a kick up somewhere painful.
The thing which annoys me the most I think (something they’re unaware of) is that I worked in that environment, at various levels, for years. So I know exactly what a “scripted” answer sounds like as I’ve read from them myself, and I can also tell in an instant when I’m being “fobbed off” and it annoys the hell out of me.
with us though, the cables are all underground, and it seems they’re simply too damn lazy or cheap to come check them or replace them.
Aye. And we have two buildings at the company I work at. Every truly heavy rain creates an outage at the lab because the junction floods… every damn winter. You’d think they’d do something about it but, no, “lazy or cheap” seems to about cover it.
Regarding point #2: You’re still using Paypal? Get with the times, all of the cool kids use Pal pal.
With benefits
Having worked in a financial institution for over ten years and having seen first hand all the stupid stuff people will do with their account info and personal information, this is sadly not the worse thing I’ve ever seen.
My mom used to work at a bank, but quit because of bad hours and really stupid people. Now she works as a scheduler for mystery shops, and she’s free to laugh at the stupid people because she never meets them face to face.
Do tell.
You know all those stupid, transparently-fraudulent scams you’ve read about or seen on TV?
Pretty much all of those.
Well, people continue to pull them because other people remain stupid enough to fall for them. It’s like spam. Send out 5 million emails for herbal viagra and even if you only get a .05% response rate, you still make money.
I used to work in banking too, my favourite’s are when people would call in and ask if something was a scam after they had given their info out. They would always get upset that we would freeze their accounts until they could go to a branch to set up a new account.
I recently was on the bus and a woman was having a very loud phone call where she was yelling at the other person about how she wasn’t wiring anymore money until she got to meet the other person face to face, and that she didn’t care if it cost them to come to Canada, that she had sent enough money for them to visit. In the end she said she would think about it and see what she could come up with. I love a good Nigerian bank scam.
We do have one customer who had enough sense, after he had been taken in by several schemes and had to close accounts and open new ones (at least four times that I know about), to ask us to place a block on his account. Now anytime he wants to do a transfer, he has to call ahead and speak with one of the reps to get them to drop the block, and they invariably tell him “It’s a scam, don’t do it.” At least he’s aware of his own gullibility.
(From Windrose) In Social Service we require people to verify citizenship, etc., and a photocopy is usually sufficient. Clients have been known to send in original passports, vehicle titles, naturalization papers … it can get pretty scary.
[Institution corey] When I went in the service, in boot camp we were instructed to stencil our entire name and our entire SSN on our sea bags. Wasn’t too long before people were getting ripped off and had no idea how. An investigation was launched, and lo and behold, there was a group at the airports writing down this vital info whenever there was a graduating class of soldiers, sailors, airmen or Marines passing through. Now it’s first letter of last name and last four. [/institution corey]
Leftovers of previous rules, then given a wallop when it was decided to flat out ignore the provision in SSA which specifically barred use of an SSN as an identification number.
But, it did instill the mantra of “Last; Last four; Unit; & CO.”
Which was a silly thing to put in the enacting legislation, as enumerating the “accounts” means they are identifying ispo facto.
The local U followed suit a bit after DoD. Scrapped a system that had worked since about ’47-48. to then have to switch gears after only 3-4 years of using SSN’s for student identification.
Maybe Sparky’s trying to start a collection, and get slips with consecutive account numbers on them. So that’s not Sparky’s own number being posted, it’s the next in the series.
Are people really this dumb? Please tell me no.
I wish I could, but sadly it’s clearly not the case, judging by some of the email my supposedly sensible friends forward to me. *sigh*
How is the slip blank but yet contains the bank account number? Is this a preprinted slip?
Why is everyone numbering their comments today and why did the numbering start with eight?
Sorry, why did the numbering start at seven.
They were continuing drmk’s list in the post.
Because her holiness the Llama-nun (bees be upon her) was giving numbered reasons as to why Mr. McSparksalot might need his bank deposit slip back.
Oh…right. Slice some coffee please. Still in the state of zomb
*cuts two slices*
there you go, one for you and one for me.
Flip to the back of your checkbook, young Padwan, and you shall find what Sparky lost. Except it will have your account number, as opposed to his.
You can post those numbers here, if you want. I won’t tell.
Hudsucker Proxy reference FTW, drmk!
I was in Europe when that movie was released. In a couple of countries (I’m looking at you Germany and Italy…) it was being called “Mr. Hula Hoop.”
Not as bad as “The Billionaire’s Childhood Sled,” I suppose.
They didn’t seriously spoil the movie (the second one you mentioned) for everyone with the title, did they?
Rosebud.
I’ll pay someone 5$ for a blank check, under the account for a Mr. R. Branson. Heck, I’m feeling generous, make it 10$!
Bridgete’s brilliant moment of the day: I pulled out a coffee mug, walked to the coffee pot, picked it up, and poured out a whole cup of nothing. I hadn’t made any coffee yet.
Ooh! I want some nothing! With extra nonexistence stirred in, of course!
Here you go! I just made a fresh pot.
And now I want some creme fraische
And some Frangelico
And coffee cake
*totters off to kitchen*
That’s your id crying out for stimulants.
I’m pretty sure when it comes to coffee, my id, ego, and superego all want the same thing.
More?
More…mooooore!
Moor?
Bond, James Bond
Mmmmm, NeverCoffee. Tinkerbell sure knows how to brew a cuppa.
But do we all have to believe, really believe, close our eyes and applaud really loud, to make the NeverCoffee brew?
Or is this the NeverNeverCoffee for the blue mountains of CloudCuckkoo?
Yay, someone who knows its just one Never. I’m always frustrated by self-proclaimed voracious readers who call it Neverneverland. (Crap from the hive/slush-mind of Disney.) Stephen King, Harlan Ellison – I’m talking to you!
If it makes you feel better, I’ve done something similar. I switched from a percolator to a French press a while back and more than once, I’ve poured myself a cup of hot water straight from the kettle.
I’ve spread cream cheese on my bagel before putting it in the toaster on a number of occasions. I’ve also tried to drink milk from an empty cup and once even missed my mouth with the spoon while eating cereal after a night that give me less than 3 hours of sleep.
I was heating up part of my lunch in the work microwave one day and couldn’t figure out why it was taking so long.(I was watching the container for signs of explosion, which usually signals that it’s done.) I turn back to the break room table to take the rest of my lunch out of my lunch bag, and there is the container I thought I was heating up. I had put a container of crackers in the microwave instead, meaning I had toasty hot Cheez-its for lunch.
I’ve put my cereal box in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard. I’ve put my spoon in the cabinet and bowl in the drawer (that I figured out quickly because the drawer wouldn’t close). I’ve looked for my cell phone while I was talking to someone on my cell phone (more than once).
let’s not forget the “losing glasses while they’re on top of your head” manoeuvre, I’m the queen of that one.
Dev, I do that with sunglasses all the time. I also do the cupboard/fridge mix up. And a couple days ago I threw away a fork and took some trash to the sink.
oh I’ve done the trash/sink one too, and the cupboard/fridge. We’re doomed aren’t we?
A friend of mine once found her purse (wallet not handbag) in her fridge. Apparently the handbag it should have been in had to be disposed of due to the large amount of melted butter in the bottom.
This whole thread made me laugh rather loudly. Fortunately, there’s no one around to give me funny looks.
*Funny Looks*
Hey, why miss out?
My parents both confuse me (long blonde hair, girly, 5’7″) and my ‘little’ brother (#2 haircut, brunette, boy-y, 6’14” or so), so now he answers to “Jen” and I answer to “Sam”.
Mum regularly puts the cordless phone in the fridge.
My flat just got a new cordless phone (very, very little and cute looking) and I took it to town with me one night. Didn’t realise until I pulled it out to text someone and my flatmate nearly died laughing. *sigh* Rehearsal + study for the bar + work + half a glass of wine = stupid Jen.
I remembered another one. I like to look for my car keys when the car is already running. This includes when I reach into my bag for something at a red light or in dead-stop traffic, and I notice the key-clip spot is empty.
In the midst of the night I’ve often walked into the bathroom when my goal was to head to the kitchen for a drink of water.
It really is difficult to keep kids’ names straight! I used to call Alexia by my cat’s name, Rani, and sometimes now that Alexia has grown up and moved out, I call the cat Alexia. 8/ At least I never call Alain by his sister’s name. Any more. Ahem.
Rani?
Rani is either a Dr Who reference, or a use of the Hindi word the female equivalent of a Rajah.
It could be a reference to one of several Bollywood diva, but that seems less likely.
well as I’m sure you can guess I was thinking Doctor Who…
I wish I could get the geek points for going with the Doctor Who answer, but I was reading The Far Pavillions when this little kitten came in to my life, so I named her Rani.
Okay kids. It’s a civil procedure day. Don’t worry, it’s my favorite subject.
I’ll probably pop in again when I take a break in a few hours.
Ooooooh! I love civil procedure day. I can’t wait for the civil procedure parade this afternoon, with special guest Judge Wapner on the People’s Court float. I’m all dressed in my civil procedure festive outfit (legal briefs) and am heading down to the town common for the festivities.
😉
I wonder if I can figure out a way to make “legal briefs” into a Halloween costume…
Alright, break time is over. Back to it.
Well, the “laic” are likely to not get subtle things like how “briefs” are seldom short or terse or light. So, getting Vernon’s printed on a down coat converted into shorts might miss the mark in a major way.
I read this as ‘black’ Hibernia National Bank and I wondered if this was another missed connections ad.
Guess it was, in a way. He’s probably going to miss all the money in his account.
Also, I suspect the synapses in Sparky’s brain missed a few connections as well.
Praise the Llama-nun (bees be with you), I’m in the box! Getting my protective gear on so Windy can punch away.
well done Kelli,
oh and there’s a helmet and some extra padding in that cupboard over there if you need it.
Lucky you’re not male, there’s also a protective cup in the cupboard, and Taco’s been punched a lot.*
*Sorry, no one had crossed the line yet today.
they haven’t? now that is odd
Well, Taco hasn’t checked into the snark lounge yet today, and Grampdaddy came in and then left early, so there hasn’t been as much incentive to cross the line.
Gee, I apologize for not providing the proper incentive. Mrs. G and I were visiting MandaB, Mr.MandaB, and grandchildren today. Tough to be snarky while playing with the little ones. Here are a few short comments to hold you until tomorrow.
a) Do they make ‘legal boxers’?
b) ‘Little Black Dress’
c) ‘Massive Link’ – with benefits.
d) babby clothes, with boots.
and, of course,
e) TacoThong, with condiments…
Will I never learn?
*writes post-it note to self to attach to monitor*
NEVER visit YSaC whilst drinking!!
now, where did I put that cloth?
Dev – I understand completely. I made that mistake yesterday and ended up with a laptop full of coffee.
My computer got wet, too.
I’ve been visiting for longer than you though, I should know better after all this time.
Instead I ended up with a lap full of lager.
**Heads to Craigslist, goes to purchase new set of “cups” for the Snark Lounge.**
**Thinks for a moment and heads to Amazon instead.**
Instead I ended up with a lap full of lager.
Ooh – now that IS a shame. I hope you had a spare. 🙂
lap or lager?
actually I have several more lagers. a consolation bought for me by hubby since we couldn’t attend the local annual charity pram push (read as excuse to get drunk) as he was working.
Looking at it now, I think I meant “impetus” rather than “incentive.”
Good night.
I just almost ended up with a lap full of margarita. It would have been such a waste, too, it’s a really good margarita.
Bridgete, some people would pay good money to see that! *reads comment again* Oh, you mean the drink! Never Mind.
Kelli, kelly, kylie, or whoever you are, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Hibernia!
Hrm. The plot thickens. Hibernia National Bank hasn’t existed since 2006.
Woohoo! YSaC conspiracy! 😀
Isn’t Hibernia sleep apnea for bears?
Wait, it’s not the common name for the somnolent Ursus hiberniaesus?
Don’t, uh, most banks provide free blank deposit slips that you can write your own account number on?
Missed the snark-fest over the weekend…my RL has taken such a dark turn lately…sigh….anywho, thanks one and all for the guffaws this morning…and, yes, I put the coffee down first.
Oh and btw…my “real” name is regularly butchered..thoroughly, utterly, totally, and even by members of my own family. Thanks, Mom, for giving me a “unique” name…LOL
Drop in when you can! Remember, It’s always darkest before the nuclear reactor goes up. Or something like that. Always willing to listen, too, you can find me on Facebook. 8)
Sorry to hear it, CJ. We missed you.
+1 for Hudsucker reference.