YSaC, Vol. 727: I see a pink hook and I want a black one too.
Set of 3 girly Hooks! – $10
3 hooks in great condition Black and Pink
10$ OBO
cash only pick up
Now, as cynzano, who sent this in, observed, there is simply no way to tell from the ad what they are selling. The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the phrase “girly hooks,” (OK, the second, with the first being, “buh?”) is perhaps something a single guy would use to attract members of the opposite gender.
You know the single guys I mean – the ones who think that getting a puppy will make them a chick magnet. That taking their older brother’s toddler for a walk will make attractive girls swoon to the point that they will be completely unable to stop themselves tearing their clothes off and throwing themselves at the perambulator of said toddler.
You know – asshats.
Fortunately, this ad came with a picture.
That will clear everything up, right?
Maybe not. They are at least in black and pink.
Sweet Clothespin Jeebus, are they selling kids on CraigsList now?
I’d think that would be the sort of thing you’d have to go to a flea market for.
Yeah, selling kids is way stupid. Everyone knows it’s much easier just to nab one up off the street, who’d actually buy one?
What?
[Advice Corey] Everyone deny knowing Taco. It is for your own good. When the Feds show up asking questions, we all want to have good alibis.[/Corey]
Taco who?
“I was in the brain bleach Jacuzzi the entire time, Agent Smith.”
“Oh, that guy? He looked shifty and potentially splody, so I got the hell out.”
No wonder he uses so many pseudonyms. Haven’t seen him in days. Sorry.
“[overly cheerful] Hi, Officer! No, I haven’t seen him. Shovel? Oh, ummm… I was… digging a hole in the back yard to…plant a rosebush in! Yeah, that’s it!”
What is this mystical mexican food of which you speak?
Taco, what????
looks around One of my kids is missing!!!
Thinks to myself, Should I tell agent Smith or send this Taco fella some more cheese?
Moose are Canadian. Tacos are Mexican. There’s no way we’ve ever met.
That’s a euphemism I’m not familiar with…
Alas! I’ve never met any tacos in person, but I do know something about magic…
Dumbledore, get those hands out from under that desk where we can see them.
Alas! It’s not a desk, but a picture frame!
And you should be more worried about what happens when I’m feeling in a Puppet Pals mood, young muggle.
Apparently, according to News Of The Weird a few weeks back, that is what the Walmart parking lot is for.
Maybe it’s like selling drugs or guns on CL – as long as you don’t actually *say* “Kid for sale”, you won’t get caught!*
*This may not actually be true, thank all that keeps this world from forever descending into the fiery pit of stupidity.
Oh, okay.
By the way, I have some drugs for sale. Anyone want them? oooooh, wait…oops…
No worries. Here on YSaCL, anything goes.* So feel free to advertise your drugs loud and proud.
*Except insulting the Llamanun. *Never* insult the Llamanun. Bees be upon her.
And also upon you.
Arrrrrr. Peter Pan you shall never escape from Girly Hook! Now men! Crochet him a stupid looking bubble hat!
Girly Hook has finally prevailed! Occasional Occasional Land now belongs to me!
In the next episode, does Girly Hook force all the Lost Boys to wear badly made fingerless gloves and make Peter his “special friend”?
And suddenly the YSaC comment boards have transformed a wholesome† family story like “Peter Pan” into a weird psychedelic version of “The Crying Game.”
I’ll just be boiling up some brain bleach over here.
*Tries not to think about Girly Hook doing ‘things’ with his prosthetic*
*Throws up in mouth a little*
†This may not be true.
A ship filled with older men anchored next to an island populated almost exculsively by young boys…Yeah, I can see whay that’s considered a wholesome family story.
Stop it you two. Stop it right now
*exchanges her morning orange juice for some brain bleach*
*adds brain bleach to breakfast smoothie and turns up blender*
SJ, it gets even dirtier when you consider that the boat is filled with older sailors. Sailors who spend all their time in the company of other men and still have needs.
That must be where the term “fresh meat” came from. Because sailors who’ve spent 7 months at sea eating moldy biscuts in the company of other, stinky men must look forward to both types of fresh meat when they hit the coast.
Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to go stab a pencil into my brain so I can get the bleach in.
Um……I thought this was the Hannah Montanta forums. How did I get on fanfiction.net?
I don’t think you guys could have made the story any less wholesome (to me, at least) than this version did. There’s a moment in that one that inspired my friends and I to create a drink called “Peter Pan Orgasm.”
I’m afraid to click your link.
It’s okay, Astro. It’s just to the IMDb page for the 2003 movie. Totally innocent version, but my friends and I had very dirty minds at the time.*
*Okay, the past tense on that may be inaccurate.
So, did anyone else happen to see the line that was crossed?
Just wonderin’
*Watches grampdaddy plummit into the abyss*
Guess he shouldn’t have passed.
*Takes a big step out of Grampdaddy’s whipping range*
Plummet.
Just doing my job in Isaac’s stead.
Curses!
It went by so fast, so early, today, that I missed it. Don’t worry; there’ll be another one to cross tomorrow.
Wait, I thought that’s what the mermaids were for????!!!!
They’re fish from the waist down so there are probably…docking issues.
Well, they do have that extra access port in the bow…
And since they probably use gills to breathe…
I’ll go back into my kennel now.
I’ve always wondered – where *do* baby merpeople come from?
And now for a Taco “ARRRGGGGHHH GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!” moment:
Well, there is a lot of making out and then regurgitation of sperm and eggs… and placing them in the kelp bed.
Okay, y’all have ruined “Peter Pan” and “The Little Mermaid”, you start messin’ with “Finding Nemo” and I’m gonna go all taco-splody on your azzes.
:searches for brain bleach and xanax, finding neither settles for a nice Merlot instead:
Flying androgynes and salty tars and “before the mast” realities–any wonder the ration was a pint and a half of rum a day?
I think this might be a Wisconsin specialty product. They might be used to hang your abducted girls up for storage – you know, to keep things orderly. 3 for $10.00 is a pretty good price for a specialty closet organizer.
Oooooooh Kkkkk – Brain and eye bleach time. Now!
And a flask…
Actually there’s a closet organizer that does a better job of this now. No more wire girly hooks!
I think I saw those at The
ContainmentContainer Store.I see a punch coming up tomorrow, SJ. Comment of the day!
Human Trafficking on Craigslist, now for only $10, Obo.
Many different types for sale: Southern, California surf girl…too many to list.
Wait, are you trafficking humans or obos? Or maybe some strange human-obo hybrid. I hear they’re featuring one of those in the horror-based reimagining of American Pie.
Hey, man, if you want it, I can get it. And I don’t ask too many questions, if you know what I mean. Girl, obo, Girlobo, I can get it.
You got the jam to go with ’em?
Hey, SJ, whatever you’re into. I’ll even throw in a free squirrel costume!
A whole new, horrible, spin on
“This one time, in Band Camp…”
stories.
And we have to hope it involves vanquishing zombies with woodwinds
And not fruit preserves or juxtaposition of reed instruments and unfortunate orifices (of the living, dead, or undead)
Who’s there? I’ve a mouthpiece from a coronet (and a cormorant) and I’m not afeert t’use’em!
By the way – nice Rolling Stones reference Dan – very early Stones.
Coffee Mug, Coffee Mug
Oh Coffee Coffee Coffee
Coffee Mug *pop*
Bud dowm bowm bowm
Drink my morning coffee now
Gulp it down
More bitter than a spiteful clown
I drink all the time, well it doesn’t bode
It might make me Tacosplode.
Yep, read it as “Coffee Mug *poop*”.
Was disgusted, but not in the least bit surprised, for some reason.
No thanks, don’t need any girly hooks since I got these lovely bedazzled hooves…..
On the other hand, they are only 10 OBOs…wonder if those are firm OBOs…sigh…so many questions…
They’re jamming OBOs. But don’t try to slow em down.
I can certainly use them in my fridge with no doors. Finally it will be useful,if it will just stop me from leaking.
It just occured to me…sigh…isn’t that always happening to me here…anyway, this particular comment thread is totally meme-driven…I love this place.
We give birth to our own memes. We then beat them to death. Usually with bedazzled deer hooves.
I think they just shrivel away due to the massive amounts of brain-bleach.
I think they feed on the brain bleach. The more we try to get rid of them, the more they stay around….
They are protected by a layer of vintage Crisco.
Addicted Reader has now advanced a Tholian Web theory of the meme-space continuum.
Cap’n – Is that an accomplishment I should put on my resume?
If you are applying to the Daestrom or Zephram Cochrane Institutes {g}
[corey/matt]I am in NO WAY affiliated, associated, or any other word that ends in “-ated” with with either Taco or Gramps, and I will deny any information to the contrary![/end corey/matt]
So you’re not unrelated to them? Great, we’ll send the car over!
Man, this police stuff is easy.
Chief – I prefer a truck covered in bees if it’s all the same to you.
Taco. Hey, Taco. TACO!
(Whispers) You have any idea what either of us might have done that got CJ to deny anything -‘ated’ to us? I haven’t got a clue.
You permeated.
I’m not going to admit or deny that I ‘permeated’, to use your term. But even if I did, I scrubbed really well afterwards.
I think I might have an idea here: They’re hooks. Like the sort you hang your jacket on when you walk in the door, only for hanging up kids. Girls, in this case. I mean, if you live in a tiny bachelor pad, no bedrooms, only the one couch, no carpeting, it’s pretty space-efficient.
Technically there is pink and black, technically there is (what I assume to be) a small girl with her arms hooked around an older girl… so technically that picture could be described as “girly hooks”.
Practically, however, this is bananas.
If they mean clothes hooks, really, they should have just said “bedazzled deer hooves”.
BAHHHH! CJ and Mindfield stole my brainwaves and must have been typing along the same lines as I was typing when I was typing.
Frightening, isn’t it?
Hey,I just thought that!
:runs off to make new foil beanie:
Ditto above
Girly hooks are what you use to hang a doe from your swing set…
Is that why they don’t cost a buck?
The first image that came up when I googled this was a crocheted(seriously, I spelled that right?) doll skirt, the second was a purse, and the third was a “Maori fishing hook”. Slap some glitter on that sucker, soak it in rail liquor overnight, and spray the cord with Axe body spray, and you’ll have yourself a wall mountable trophy skank in no time!
This is what they’re selling, right?
[off-topic random rant]Speaking of AXE body spray, can someone in the name of clothespin jeebus, please explain to me why young men think that if a little of that stuff smells good (and it doesn’t) then a whole bottle of the sh*t applied to their body immediately before passing within my olfactory-range (and in this case that’s probably about a half-mile) smells so irresistable that Megan Fox will hop on a jet and come ravish them on.the.spot.?[/end off-topic random rant]
[joins rant] I think my nephew bathes in the stuff, he also uses a scented hair gel that makes him look like he just received a moderately-severe electrical shock.[/rant]
:wonders off grumblng “Damn teenagers…”:
Meredith – yes, that’s right. The “t” is silent. it’s one of those fancy French words.
As for the rant about bathing in cologne, yep, totally with you. I get headaches if there’s too much cologne stink wafting around.
Lawd Almighty, ain’t it the truth! I remember having to drive down the highway with the windows all the way down IN THE DEAD OF WINTER so that the smell of overly-cologned teen-age boys did not fry my brain.
I think guys have some weakness for aerosol spray cans. It makes the little “hissss” sound, and they think they should just spray till a small cloud forms. Then they can walk around like some kinda reverse Pig Pen. ‘Cept it makes us think that they’re actually filthy under all that ‘fume.
I’m hijacking this rant to mention OLD LADIES and their clouds of scent. Every time we join the movie club for a film day, I have to hope no overly anointed old biddy sits next to us. I suppose teenage girls would be worse. Don’t usually have to worry about teenage boys in these type of movies.
Okay, back to snarking about the post.
I seem to recall a news story about a teenage boy who accidentially suffocated himself with aerosol deodorant in a too-small bathroom. Makes total sense.
I’ve sadly run into guys who did think axe body spray was a replacement for actually bathing… trying to cover up stink with more stink >_>
Advice to the male of the species: I don’t want to be able to smell you long after you’ve left the area. Whether it’s B.O. , cologne, or something else.
Stick to the basics- soap and water, a little deodorant.
Sincerely, a female of the species.
p.s. to fellow females- spraying perfume all over the bathroom (and yourself) after you’ve been smoking in there doesn’t cover that up either.
Many of my female friends have always commented on the fact that I (apparently) smell rather nice.
I’ve have been asked on a few occasions by male friends what I do to earn such a compliment from the women. My response is thusly:
Bathe at least once daily and apply a light coat of “Cool Mountain” scent deodorant to the armpits. Afterward, put on freshly laundered clothing.
It seems to stagger them that good hygiene and a little deodorant is the key to not being repulsive.
I’ve been known to
stalktrail after men that smell nice.*smells Taco*
Yep, you do smell nice.
I’ve always been a sucker for a little “Cool Whip” to the armpits….
Does anyone else now feel compelled to call Old Spice “Taco Seasoning”?
Well, now I do.
A little Hershey’s chocolate syrup applied lightly after showering has always had a positive effect…
Yeah, Gramps, but chocolate syrup will necessitate another shower
, no matter how carefully it’s licked off. O : ) (<– I have a halo. I'm nice and innocent.)Sorry AR, but several Halloweens spent at parties with young females who think “dress up” is an excuse to wear as few clothes as possible without actually getting arrested have led me to associate haloes and fairy/angel wings less with purity or goodness and more with spewing in ornamental gardens, herpes and crying messily in toilets.
A.R. – at first I thought you were saying “how carefully it is licked off” like it was a bad thing.
(I’ve got a halo, too – but everyone here refuses to believe it.*)
*one part (or both) may not be true.
Not a bad thing at all, Gramps. I just like to try to maintain the image of wholesomeness on the internet.
(Actually, IRL it seems that no matter what I do or say I can’t shake that image. Even though it’s not entirely accurate.)
No kidding! My friend has a new foster kid who he brings to our gaming sessions. The kid smells like he soaks his clothing in the damn stuff. Nobody wants to sit next to him because it makes everyone nauseous.
I mean really, whoever thinks AXE actually smells good obviously flavors their food with Old Spice and uses Patchouli air freshener.
The worst part, of course, is that some teenagers think a cloud of manfume is a substitute for bathing.
Problem is, if you spray a whole can of Axe on a fresh pile of poo, it doesn’t really hide the smell; rather there is a kind of stench augmentation.
“Stench Augmentation” for lite-metal band name of the day.
Hey, I like Old Spice, and I love the smell of Patchouli. Doesn’t make me less of a woman!
Oh, and LimeLolly, I’ve been known to take it a step further and actually had a brief *relationship* with someone I found with NO redeeming value, and couldn’t figure out why. We would verbally spar whenever we saw each other, but for some reason I ended up “seeing” him for a few weeks. Then I realized I was only EVER attracted to him when he wore a certain cologne. Luckily I’ve matured a lot since then, and would never date someone just because they smelled good.
Taco, is that Brute you’re wearing??? Why don’t you come sit over by me for a minute???
*Tries to hold back*
*Fails*
Meredith is a Hippie!
*Flees the scene*
:stands up in front of Hippies Anonymous meeting:
Hi, my name is Sara Jean, and I like…I like…Patchouli! :sobs: And…And Sandalwood! :more sobbing:
I’m holding; I’ve got incense on me right now!
:Runs out of church basement sobbing:
I once thought a guy smelled good because he used Old Spice deodorant.
My husband uses Old Spice deodorant (no cologne or anything), and I LOVE it!
It must be a woman thing. My wife apparently like the smell of Old Spice too.
To me it smells awful and burns a bit when I put it on.
Well, I just liked the deodorant. I don’t know about the aftershave.
I was talking about the deodorant.
I think I’m actually slightly allergic to certain deodorants. Arrid XX and Old Spice both burn when I put it on and turn my skin an angry red color.
I wonder if
The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the SeaCapnMac uses Old Spice….Taco, you might want to watch out for those deodorants with holy water in the ingredients. That’s probably why they burn you.
Yes.
Old Spice should smell like salt, sweat, seawater and swordfish…..
I love it….
The bright bulb who mixes hardwood smoke, hints of smoked-ringed meat, and a hint of beer and a mop sauce will make scadrillions.
….Or just bacon-scented colodorent….
You should see some of the web sites that carry fragrances for scenting soap and candles. I know for a fact you can find Leather and Beef Jerky scents.
I want a beef jerky bacontini scented aftershave!
According to the product info for the Beef Jerky scent it is “Bordering on a Bacon fragrance, you’ll find it hard to avoid tasting. Don’t. ”
There’s a list of weird oneshere; I will admit to being tempted to purchase the Play-Doh scent, I love that stuff.
You’ll be pleased to know I have never used Axe, and never plan to, thanks to four years of nearly gagging in the locker room after gym because of the stuff, and now, I can’t smell it without nearly having a gag reflex. Also, I’d like to not have any potential dates gag.
Bravo, Astro! Much making out will be yours!
Ummm, not from me, but from these “potential dates” you speak of!
Also, cologne women can’t resist, as voted on by ten years of cosmetic department work: Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue. I’ve seen women actually swoon over this one.
Might want to stay away from Calvin Klein’s Obsession. I read somewhere that zoos sometimes use it as an attractant for big cats. Unless you are into that sort of thing.
Could it help someone live the Cougar Life?
**goes and orders some more Brain Bleach**
I’ve heard the same thing about Obsession.
I don’t know what men’s cologne I like. There was this guy I used to work with, all the women in my department and I thought he smelled good. We asked him once what he wore, but I don’t remember now. Armani something maybe?
Bridgete, it’s probably Aqua Di Gio. It is to women with properly functioning nostrils as *DON’T LOOK ASTRO* boobies are to teen boys. Makes us all giggly, with a funny feeling we can’t quite define. Most guys I know try to dismiss it because they wore it in college. But hey, it WORKS.
And yeah, Obsession is foul and disgusting. The woman who worked the fragrance counter at my old job wore gloves when she took it out of the display. And my guys older, clueless dad (who lives on top of a mountain in West Virginia) thinks it’s great. Just sayin.
My hubby wears the Old Spice deodorant and it smells verrrrrrrry nice…as for after-shave and cologne, I’m partial to Safari but it’s ‘spensive stuff.
On a nostalgic note, Papa Eyebrows always wore Old Spice, so it smells like “Daddy” to me. And Mr. Eyebrows wears a wonderful cologne
Daughter #2 (aka Monkey #3) bought for him a few years ago. And, yup, she followed a man through the store because he smelled good until she could politely ask him what cologne he was wearing. Not sure what it is, but the initials on the bottle are PS. Meredith, any guesses?
Personally, I’m a fan of fragrance-free items: deoderant, shampoo/conditioner, hairspray, laundry items, etc., because I find they tend to compete with each other. I do, however, love to use Inis perfume from Ireland.
Paul Sebastian. Has to be.
I use a lot of fragrance-free stuff, mostly because I have exzema and it’s hard to find something that smells good but won’t make me scratch like a flea-infested puppy. I don’t have that problem with my handmade soaps, so I can scent them with whatever I like as long as I stay away from the artificial fragrance oils (lately that’s been rosemary and lavender. I did make some yummy tangerine soap for my Mom that smelled just like a Creamsicle and I might make some for myself next, if I ever get my coffee soap smelling right.) I have been working on a formula for pine tar soap that I’ve been having good results with, it leaves a very faint “woodsy” odor behind. Works great as shampoo, too. Still needs some tweaking, though.
I get random eczema patches. I stay away from scented soaps and lotions, but I’m okay with a bit of perfume.
Meredith, nice guess, but I remembered. It was more embarrassing than that. He used Victoria’s Secret – Very Sexy for Men. So, if any of you ladies were wondering the last time you saw it in the store while you were buying some bras — yes, it smells good.
I can never see or hear about Axe without immediately remembering the hilarious special report from Derrick Comedy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zvTRQr7ns8) Now you can’t, either. You’re welcome.
(“But WHY is there no Chad?”)
In other news, I had a co-worker who used Mary Kay’s Domain and, oh my, does that smell wonderful. (As I told one friend, “It would make my pants fall right off.”) I thought of getting some for my hubby but then I decided that would just be too twisted and confusing.
My hubby uses the Nivea after shave stuff and that smells lovely, too. And I frequently tell him so.
In some fairness Axe has admitted to aiming it’s marketing at the 13-15 “purchasing” group–not a market segment known for it’s savvy or intelligence (same market for AirBender the Movie Torture).
One probably ought to consider the frustrated parents of young males hoping that something, anything, might get them near the water in the bathroom, and that “clean” might be collected by contact or osmosis. A decision they probably regret in every trip in the minivan.
Which leads me to believe the Axe leadership are all grandparents wreaking revenge upon all those unruly children they had first.
My parents got lucky there. As a teen I bathed compulsivly (2 times a day) and, much to the chagrin of my parents, insisted on putting on entirely fresh clothing after each trip to the shower.
In my parents’ words:
“Taco*, you CAN wear jeans more than once without becoming stinky. Half our water bill is you taking showers and washing your clothing. We’re going to start charging you utilities if you don’t start double wearing stuff and tone down on the showers.”
*Note: My parents did not actually call me Taco. I didn’t get that nickname until freshman year in college.
Back when I was a young lass (around 13-14) Mom decided I was old enough to do my own laundry. Since I hated doing laundry with a burning passion, (we line dry and, being even shorter then, I had to use a step stool to reach the line and the process involved was – get clothing item, climb stool, pin to line, climb down, move stool over, fetch next item, and repeat.)I decided that the fewer clothes I had to wash and subsequently hang up, the better. I could make a pair of jeans last at least a week, as long as I didn’t spill anything on them. Luckily grunge was in vogue then.
The thread nesting at this point has me confused, but this is @Meredith:
I second the compelling whatever-it-is/je-ne-sais-quoi possessed by Acqua di Gio. Whatever it is, it definitely works.
Taco, I got the SAME lecture. Although they didn’t call me Taco either.
Bridgete – you got the same lecture from Taco’s parents?? Did you and Taco share the shower or did you have separate but equal facilities?
Taco, you devil, you!
*shuffles away muttering, “Darn lucky kids with showers – we didn’t even have water back in my day. Had to make it ourselves by putting hydrogen and oxygen in the blender…”*
I didn’t even have a blender, I had to squat in the dirt and push the molecules together with a stick.
Thanks, Meredith! ♥
SJ – they let you use a stick?! – I had to push the blender blades around with my fingers.
Huh – wonder if that’s why they called me “Stumpy”…
No need to lie, Taco, everyone here knows the real reason that teenage boys lock themselves in the bathroom and require fresh pants…
It’s all the tacos I eat, they do tend to make me go through pants pretty quickly.
Taco, I have to know! Did the lecture work? My 17 year old son showers daily, and takes a second “rinse” when he can get away with it. He also washes what he wants to wear next in a single load. Instead of washing ALL his clothes at one time. As California is not water-rich, and the cost goes up consistantly, he’s driving me crazy. So then. If I gve him the same lecture, but not call him Taco, would it still be as effective?
The lecture from MY parents (although interesting hypothesis, Gramps, as Taco and I did both once live in the PNW), worked. Although they had to attach some consideration to it (look at me, using contracts words). If I remember right, it was something related to the issue, rather than just a random monetary reward. I know part of it for me was that my mom and I went and got me some towels of my own — no one else ever got to dry themselves off with those towels. Of course, I had a weird thing about drying off with a towel I know someone else also dried off with (still do) so that worked for me…but you get the idea. I’m sure you can think of something that will work for your son’s personality.
… Isn’t that kind of redundant?
*gargles brain bleach*
You should use a spray to shoot it up your nose. MUCH more effective that way!
I had Mom put an IV in; she needed the practice and it’s loads faster.
HOLY CRAP, LOLA! I didn’t even recognize you!!! Ummm, don’t look now, but…you’re a cat.
Mew! I mean: Yes, I am, at least for this week or so.
It was a an evil hag jealous of your beauty, and a spell reversed only by complicated means, wasn’t it?
Or complicated memes. One or the other.
Kitty avatar mafia takeover earlier this week, actually. Though it’s kind of you to suggest I’m attractive enough to warrant someone’s jealousy, however misplaced.
It’s why I have a magical three-headed dog avatar.
To protect against the cats and their schemes…
Yeah, well… Styx and Stones* Astro (isn’t he that dog from the Jetsons?)
*this was both an underworld and a musical reference!*
Mine is one of the feral cats I feed here at work…this one is…
:failing memory requires she checks pic on computer before answering:
…oh yes, this one is Drum…he’s a chatty fellow and delights in pissing Ouiza off, just like his namesake…
And, I nominate Kitty Mafia for band name of the day!
Girly Hook – noun: the fastener on a girl’s bra that confounds 99% of men
Hahaha. True.
[tangent Corey]I know a man that can undo any “girly hook” he encounters, one handed. One hook, three hooks, front clasp, doesn’t matter. And I was never unimpressed /tangent Corey]
I know a man like that too! Well, I knew him in high school, so I suppose he was a teenage boy at that time…but he’s a man now, and I’m sure he hasn’t lost the ability. If he was sitting behind me in class, he’d randomly unhook my bra when he got bored.
Ha. This one is grown, thankfully. He was smooth motherf*cker in a quiet nerd body. It was like I won my fantasy lottery!
The real test of skill would be if he could hook it back one-handed.
Oh yes he could!
The only thing unsettling is that he could work female undergarments better than I could, with twenty years of familiarity. Hmmmm…..
Ed Gein redecorates.
Every other comment I had was just too tasteless, even for here.
Darn it, Meredith, now you have me curious. Send them to me privately on facebook! 8)
cc: me?
It was a whole skit, involving a California Closets employee getting a call for a consultation. At a Mr. T. Bundy’s house.
Too soon, I said to myself, too soon.
I dunno… those girly hooks look like they could be a choking hazard.
better than a choking lizard….
Depends on who you’re talking to, I guess. 8)
David Carradine?
He might like choking the
liz… hey!Okay…time to play “Trust Fall” with the green lizard….
(do you choose your avatars based on their foreign accents?)
Hmm… foreign accents. :shrug: Could be a pattern there. I shall have to investigate it some more.
And no… no Trust Fall. I don’t have any faith in mankind. And it’s a gecko!!
*wanders away,grumbling*
I miss poos-en-butts, Antonio!
Hehe…
I’m waiting for the kitty mafia to go back in hiding. The initiation ritual is quite painful and humiliating.
How much did you save by switching to the gecko?
At least 15%…
I think this post might have forgotten two letters.
Er… what?
I see what you did there!
If they have to specify “girly,” it’s likely a good indication that they actually are not. 8)
I finally understood this on the way in to work this morning.
I’m sure Sparky meant “gnarly hooks”, the meaning of which I will not go into for fear of being labeled a Corey…..
That’s so radical!
Totally tubular, too!
Is that anything like “Tubular Bells”?
Mutant Turtles, Awesome Turtles,
Dressed in cool ninja garb.
In the air,
There’s aroma,
Of pizza.
Splinter teaching,
Turtles learning,
Masterin’ the true ninja way.
And on every street grating you’ll hear:
Tubular Bells, Tubular Bells,
It’s Turtle Time in the Sewer.
Rad-i-cal, hear them ring!
Soon it will be Turtle Time!
My apologies to Jay Livingston and Ray Evans.
Bells are shiny…
Bogus!!!
Bitchen!
As long as you deploy corey tags appropriately, you can explain. Now I’m curious.
To use Girly Hooks (TM): First deploy Guaranteed Girly Pick Up Line (TM). Tighten and redeploy as needed. When girly is fully ensnared in Girly Pick Up Line (TM), insert Girly Hooks (TM). Apply additional Girly Duct-Style Tape (TM). Immediately open Girly Wisconsin Double Door Van (TM). Lift girly into Girly Wisconsin Double Door Van and Place Girly into Leaky Door Optional Refrigerator. Please note: it is best to keep doors on Leaky Door Optional Refrigerator as needed. The Leaky Door Optional Refrigerator is not intended for longterm storage and should not be considered a longterm solution of any type. Congratulations. You have now caught a live Girly. Please visit Wisconsin Girly Products for all of your girly capture and serial killer needs. Volume discounts for repeat customers.
You keep referencing me for some reason. It’s not like I would ever need to learn how to use that stuff.
Besides, it’s pretty easy to self teach yourself to use it all anyway.
if the taco fits…
…wear it?
*Reaches for the TacoThong…*
*grabs the red table and Not.A.Lionel head*
“The power of Llama-nun compels thee…”
Are you exorcised yet, Taco?
Almost. Just have to do a few sets of squat thrusts.
Crap… my goggles and videocam are melted. You know you’re not allowed to exercise in the Thong!
Isn’t that waaaaaay tooooooo many Taco’s for one day? You’ll make yourself sick.
Is there such a THING as too many tacos???? I have not found this to be so. Let me know when you reach that point.
I think I’m going to be [sic] after all those Tacos.
I’ve been saving up.
That’s what he said.
They’re obviously selling replicas of small girls to hook on your back as though you are carrying an adorable child (as seen in photo). I mean, $10 for three is a pretty good offer; that’s one realistic looking girly hook. And they come in different races! I mean, one day you can have a pink-skinned fake child, and the next a black one! And having children clinging to you is useful in so many situations. I don’t know why we have to be snarky about this incredible offer.
You’re right, how could I? I shall sit here in the corner for two minutes, by myself, and feel shame.
Oooh…Meredith! Awesome, if somewhat vague, reference to “Slap Shot”
Best.Hockey.Movie.Ever.
Trueness. I again must point back to the quiet nerd guy. He introduced me, and I gain NO END of pleasure from it. And he just about wet his pants when I dropped a more obscure quote from the movie once in conversation.
Hansen Bros rule
I must confess to attempting the French accent whilst saying that I will “go zeet in zee penaltee box for two meenutts and you know I feel shame” whenever committing a faux pas.
Yeah, and I wonder why people look at me like I’m crazy….
Hansens do rule, Capn! But the stripper…yeah, he was a showstopper! LOL
Yes, but can they help you fly?
Only through the carpool lane.
FACT: all capes help you fly– even ones shaped like young girls.
How about ones that are shaped like zoo animals?
Wait, I know. Girly hooks are how you get pin-ups. I never thought a pin was enough to hold a woman to the wall.
On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, I was just reading a rather sad story about a man who killed his family. Not funny at all. Until I scrolled down and could see the comment section, and caught sight of this persons self righteous rantings.
“WHAT A GREAT GROUP OF WORTHLESS COUNTRY PUMPKINS WHO REPRESENT LAW ENFORCEMENT….”
Country…pumpkins…yep. :::Facepalm:::
Welp, there goes that nickname for any future daughter I have.
*Crosses “Pumpkin” off the list*
*grimace*
That actually was my nickname …
I think 40% of all women can make that claim.
I was “Doodlebug” and I still have an uncle who calls me that.
For everyone saying, “Aww, that’s cute!” these are doodlebugs.
I’ll admit, my nickname derived from the ‘cute’ boy on the bus quoting “Little LL likes lime lollipops”. It was an alliterative and the teasing tone, that was guaranteed to piss me off, the reason it stuck. Now… now, I wish I could see that boy again and punch him in the nose. Odd how those things stick with you… and I really do like lime lollies.
My parents called me ‘Crisco’ — you know — fat in the can.
My parents affectionately refered to me as “Smartass”.
Can’t imagine why.
My nickname wasn’t very interesting. My nickname for my dad, however, is awesome. I call him Dude. See, I was born in ’83, and therefore was learning to talk when my half-sister was a teenager in the ’80s. So, when she was around, she’d be telling our dad he’s a “mass cool dude.” I misinterpreted…it stuck.
Mine was ‘Charlie’…totally uninspired…sigh…
I am still Jennyfer Juniper Berry, or “Princess Stardust” when mum and dad are being sarcastic. I’m pretty sure “Princess Stardust” only started when I was about 14, though.
Lola, it’s scary sometimes. My dad always called me Punkin’, which was okay when I was a scrawny 3 year old, but when I was an overweight 10, I started to resent it. I’m over that now. My brother had white-blond hair as a baby, and was called Cotton Top. My sister, for reasons that are lost in the obscuring clouds of long ago, was nicknamed Dee Dee. Her real name was Marian. She was the first grandchild in the family, that might have had something to do with the extra crazy.
Being vertically challenged me, my only nickname is “Little Man”.
There is also something I’ve been called, which is a three-letter variant of my full first name, that I can’t stand being called it.
Astro…there’s hope for you yet. You’re 15 and male, odds are you have a bit more growing to do.
But, on height-related nicknames, my mom’s best friend from college called me Bridgete the Midget when I was a kid. Then she moved to another state, so we didn’t see her for a while. Then she returned to the area when I was in high school and already 5’7″ (I’m 5’9″ now) so we had a good laugh about the utter inapplicability of the nickname. Especially since she’s something like 5’3″ or 5’4″.
Oh! As for short forms of real first names…I hate, hate, HATE Bridge. As I said when I was something like 6 or 7, I am not something to be walked over.
My dad always called me ‘Mikey boy’ which sounds kinda cute until you put it in context. I was always helping my dad with construction projects, wiring, all kinds of building-type activities. “Mikey boy” usually followed being hit in the head with a 2×4, struck with a hammer, or “hold that wire right there, but don’t let it touc -ZAP-h anything.”
The comment would run something like this, “Oops, sorry Mikey boy, didn’t know your finger was back there – go wash that out and get a bandaid. Don’t think it’ll need stitches.” I always assumed it was because I was in the middle of everything he was doing, but I wonder if he REALLY meant to maim me. I learned a lot from my dad – like “Duck!”
Dad was pretty cool though – taught me how to tackle almost any job and I can do almost anything with tools. Do miss that man – alot.
I ran a gauntlet of nicknames.
Some of the more memorable ones were Spazz and Buzz.
A friend from college calls me Spaz.
My grandfather was was known in his small town as “Mr Mac.”
Easy to get a whole gamut of combined forms using “mac” if you spend time with a known-to-all, larger-than-life, genuine person of character.
Few of those stuck so very well.
One that did, did so in ’86 in Gulfport–dunno really why. Is what it is.
Mine were either jeezuschrist! or gawddammit!
To hook or not to Hook: That is the question.
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and baggages and haltered young girls
In Outrageous clouds of tweener sprays.
To take arms (or bedazzled crooks) against a Sea of
Under-washed youth, oblivious to the sleep deprived around them;
That would no more, their ravished sinuses
But Sleep, Sleep forevermore
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish-ed. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: aye, there’s the rub;
(also a body wash and spray)
To then lament, in Mall’s embrace, the vast geography
Of Undiscover-ed country so obvious for the learned to see
Yet in careless romp and bared bodkin race
Unaware of risks to one and all around
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native reek of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of Aroma,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry.
But, soft, for is Pink or Black, or fair Obo…
Capn has joined this week’s Shakespeare slam!
Ham-let Jam!
You said bodkin…
What? Nothing about sour cream Capn???? I hear it goes well with thongs….
Ok, stinky teenagers slathered with sour cream not being imagery I wanted (was bad enough when the rage was to demonstrate the wearing of thongs, typically in the worst possible way).
*reaches, once again, for the TacoThong*
Would you stop taking that off?
Just pick one way or the other. And no low-rise tortilla shells!
It’s Mudsy’s birthday, after all.
it’s my birthday again?!?! Cool!
TacoThong….*snortling*….must be worn with sombrero.
Whatch what you wish for Mudsy, I am versed at pixel art (probably not that versed).
TM – shouldn’t that be ‘perversed’ at pixel art?
**eye twiches, checks to see if the brain bleach has arrived yet**
I’ve been at the ocean all day and couldn’t leave you all without a rhymey thing!
There once was a Girly from Hook
Who sat by a brain bleach brook
When Taco floated by
His thong she did spy
And all of her mind the sight took
Ah! I’m in the box!!!!! I’d like to thank the Academy, and my parents, and my agent, and of course the Llamanun, Bees be upon her, for making this site possible!
Also, I think YSaC is officially taking over my life – my first thought upon seeing myself in the box was “Oooh I can put that in my PDP achievement review!”
Jen, We should declare an international holiday on the first day you posted here! You bring us much joy, snark, and a view from another land. Punchity-punch-punch!
G’night, Occasional Occasional Land!
Oooh, it hurts like success!!! Cheers Mama Windy!
I thought a girly hook was something in a rap song – like the rapper comes on and does his low, muttery kind of “Gmn Shmnmn” (I think this is to do with ‘ho’s).
And then Mariah Carey comes in, all breathy, going ‘La la la, I’m a girl’, but quite melodically.
And that’s the girly hook.
Well, I’m enjoying a little bit of butterscotch schnapps before bed, and it’s not helping me make any sense of the ad. I don’t think I want to try drinking enough to make it make more sense.
Goodnight all.
And a special iambic punchity punch to HamCan! YSaC’s got Talent!
Ouchity ouch!
Thanks!
New kitty avatar?
Yes! Not.A.Tiger.!
Sleepy not.a.kitty. Adore!!!!
Adorable!
Doo doo doot, waiting for the new post. Anyone else around at this hour?
Yup…been up for five hours and at work for two…sleep is soooooo overrated…
In what time zone are you?
I’m taking some time off from work, but I’m trying to shift my sleep schedule, so I got up at 7am EDST this morning, even though I don’t have anywhere to be until 11:30. Doesn’t mean I don’t have things other than YSaC to do, but none of them are as fun as this.
Morning, AR and CJ. Yup, just got to work.
In fact, doing it is a disorder of the the disgestive
system system in the author’s body. Probably the most common heartburn good
reason is poor organization in the gastro-intestinal tract.
It contracts closely to push generally food inside, knowning that prevents it during regurgitating.