YSaC, Vol. 707: I’m insured by (French) Prudential.
My Bea Arthur cutout has been getting lonely lately, so you can imagine my excitement at finding this:
LIFESIZE GEICO CAVEMAN CARDBOARD CUT-OUT – $30
Add some class to your dorm or living room! Buy a present for that car insurance lover in your life!
The Geico caveman cut-out is greater than 6 feet tall and made of cardboard – easy to transport! (Extra person for your carpool lane?)
Please email! 30 dollars or make an offer! I will take anything reasonable!
Nothing says “class” like a Geico caveman cutout. It’s a fact.
And maybe you’re a “car insurance lover”, but you don’t want the Geico caveman sharing your life, car, and home with you. (Hard to believe, but it could happen!) Maybe you want some other type of Geico representation in your life. How about this?
King Snake and Geico Lizards
Free to good home 4 ft California King snake and two Geico Lizards call xxx xxx xxxx
I wouldn’t recommend using them as an extra person in the carpool lane though. The tails will be a dead giveaway.
Thanks, Lisa and Inna!
Edited to add …
I just found this ad waiting in my queue, submitted by Kathryn:
WTB Life Size Cardboard Cutout *still looking*
I lost a bet. I am now responsible for procuring a cardboard cutout and having it delivered to my friend’s house. She’s really awesome, and hot. I want to impress her.
As far as the cutout goes, it doesn’t really matter what it is, I just have to get one. But it needs to be AMAZING. It also needs to be in good condition and not smell bad. If you happen to have Liberace or a dinosaur of some kind that would get me lots of bonus points.
PS Thank you to the person who offered a giant cardboard penis, please don’t be offended that I am holding out for something else. 6’5” was a little too much.
Just like the original post says — nothing says classy like the Geico caveman! Your awesome and hot friend won’t be able to resist you!
That’s right — we here at YSaC are all about helping folks in need; there’s no need to thank us profusely, it’s what we live for.*
*This may not actually be true.
“I will take anything reasonable.”
If you think a cardboard cut-out of the Geico caveman adds a calassay touch to your living room, I suspect you’d believe a tub of vintage Crisco to be a reasonable offer.
Score!
I bet if you throw in a couple of tubs of vintage cereal you could get that vacuum cleaner that’s propping it up.
I would accept two Bolivian Tiki statues to take that off their hands.
You might have to settle for a Tahiti Sam parrot sculpture.
I would like to offer a 4 ft California King snake and two Geico Lizards for the caveman.
And the quilt that appeared instead of my avatar.
Quilty is awesome!
Awesome? In my association, Quilty is a creepy character in Lolita.
Oh yeah, that’s right *oopsy*. I was going more in the Towelie from South Park direction. Who knew I’d be making a Lolita reference (spelling is off tho, isn’t it?) in such a round-about way. Serendipity.
Ah, now I get it – and that would be funny. (A similarity to Towelie.)
I’m going to start out with a drink, that sounds reasonable. Bridgete, since you are at the bar, would you get me a tall vodka on the rocks? Thank you!
Why, certainly! *gets Grampdaddy a tall vodka on the rocks, and gets self a cosmo while there*
Anyone else?
Bottle of Jameson’s. And a straw. Please. Thank you.
It has been a long day at Casa de B.
My pleasure. Here ya go! *hands you the bottle and a straw*
The best part about the updated, second ad? The PS. I guess when you’re trying to impress a hot chick, showing her a schlong much bigger than yours might lead to unrealistic expectations. (Also: kinda tasteless, if you’re older than 14.)
Edit: Weird, I thought I was posting this ad at the very end of the thread … hmm.
Bridgete, you definitely get a 5 out of 5 based on my assessment of your bar skills. Many thanks!
I’d like a Never Have Computer Failure Again Margarita. Make it a double! *hands shaking from YSaC withdrawal*
Alright Windy, I’m just gonna put everything into this shaker here and hand it to you for a bit….*waits*…there ya go, okay, that should be enough. I’ll take that back, pour it into the glass, and…here, have a straw so you can leave it on the table until you’re a bit steadier. No need to have you spilling that all over, that precious alcohol must be ingested.
Oh, you did want it on the rocks, right? My blender is on the fritz.
*slurrp* *slurrp* *SLURP* Ah! Thanks, jsust whit I neeeeded. and here’z a punchity punch–oops! Missed. I think. I’ll just stay hnere onde floooor foe a bit.zzzzzzzzzzz
Where’s my ‘kazi from yesterday?
Hmm…I thought I got you your ‘kazi. Well, here, have two!
A California King mattress is 72″ X 84″ and 4 ft is 48 “, so…
That is one fat snake.
Sexaayy caveman but we don’t have carpool lanes where I live. Maybe it could work as a theft deterrent or maybe it could stand next to the garden?
And zomg… do those geico lizards talk? I have a home… and it’s pretty good, I think… the cats need new playmates anyway.
If they have that vaguely British accent, I’ll take one.
Kiwis claim en-zed, in the right circles
I’m being referenced! I just… can’t figure out how. And yes, we pronounce “NZ” En-Zed. And ‘fish and chips’ ‘fush and chups’. But I don’t know why we do that and it’s one of many reasons I still talk British.
Wouldn’t worry about the Diggers, even with their japes about “nutty zanies”; they’ll live in their own opal pits like refugees from a mad max flick.
Can’t worry about Diggers now that they’ve got a shiela in charge and the miners, who underpin the economy literally and figuratively, are in more of a tizzy than under Baroness Ironknickers in the year of my birth. Strewth indeed!
(P.S not heard “nutty zanies” before… I like it – ’tis quaint, and much better than the usual nicknames which relate to Biblical knowledge of ovine ungulates.)
I wonder if I put that snake on my front porch, if it would eat teenage males. The snake would always be full and my grocery bill will go down a lot. I could offer a pot of coffee made by a non-coffee drinker and maybe some vintage green cereal to go with it (extra fuzz thrown in for free).
Sucking at Craigslist: So easy, a caveman can do it.
What’s that?
Oh that? That’s just the mockery you could have avoided by not sucking at Craigslist.
Guys, I think the Geico Caveman Cutout ad is kind of awesome.
Sure, it’s a weird object, but the poster is handling it with the irony it deserves. The photos are informative, and except for the missing hyphen in “car-insurance lover,” even the grammar is spot on.
I read the ad like this: “Okay, I thought it was funny when I got this thing, but I’m tired of it. Maybe there’s someone out there who would want a Caveman, so I’ll put it on Craigslist for a week before I throw it out.” No suckage in my book.
I know what Isaac’s getting for Christmas!
I’ll throw in a Geico ringtone!
I’ll provide the minty red, six sided, octagon table to put that thoughtful gift on.
I’m not saying that I want it, but I know how I’d get rid of it if someone did give it to me.
All I was saying is that a sucky object does not necessarily mean a sucky Craigslist post.
LimeLolly: The one that goes Ring-a-ding-ding-doooo, ring-a-ding-ding-ding-ding?
Astro..
“Uhhhh… right”
Are those lizards insured? Do they have proper plates and registrations? If not, you know, I’m not taking those little hooligans in. It was bad enough with the Rabbits who had fake ID’s, tinted windows, and ate all the lettuces out of the garden.
Mr. McGregor’s garden?
I never knew Peter and his band of “hooligans”* were so gangsta’.
*Flops-jay
Mops-jay
Cot’n-booty
His new name is P-Diddles, by the way.
Piddles* for short?
*does not exact the desired tough guy image
I liked him better when he was CottonPuff Daddy.
Does the “P-Diddles” mean that he’s one bulb short of a full set of lights?
Grampdaddy
Does the “P-Diddles” mean that he’s one bulb short of a full set of lights?
No. It means he hasn’t been fixed yet.
They were German…. and had little VW’s of silver bling around their necks.
” Buy a present for that car insurance lover in your life!”
ZOMG!!!!Elebenty!!!! Where can I get more?!?! All of the car insurance lovers in my life are soooooooo hard to shop for (I mean, they all have their cars and insurance already) so this is PERFECT. For the ladies, anyway. Anybody know where I can get the Progressive chick with the bumped hair as a cutout for the guys?
Key phrase in this ad: “your dorm.” If you’re past the age of 25 and/or not living communally, is this really a good thing to have in your home, for decor? I’m just sayin.’ Also, because it’s often a source for collegiate dwelling decor, I am now wondering if it was stolen …
Can I get the Allstate guy? He’s hot and has a sexy voice. I’d totally use him to narrate my life.
As long as it’s not the AFLAC duck. That thing gives me nightmares.
AFLAC!
Hello, Sarajean! I’ve found you!
Hi, Mr. Annoying Duck! Would you like to see my homemade stun gun?
I believe the term is:
“Let me introduce you to my little friend…”
Pekin in, are we? I’ve oil; who’s up for duck confit?
Why, yes, I’d love to see your homema
I’m with the Allstate guy—Dennis Haysbert. I’ll use him to call the Geico cavemen and tell them I’m breaking up with them—because we all know how hard that is to do. I’m pretending he’s Nelson Mandela too because he’s over-the-top politically correct!
I expect him to grill for me as well. Burning down the house and/or the deck doing a deep fried turkey should be a non-issue. He’s Allstate, man!
I’d just make him go around saying, “Hats, for bats. Keep bats warm. Gracias.”
We should create a line of Insurance Personality action figures.
They would have to compete against the e-surance spies. I wonder who would win?
I always I feel like, somebody’s watching me. And I’ve got no privacy…
ARRRRGGGGHHHDDDBBBBLLEEE!!!…
Oh, it’s just my collection of celebrity, semi-celebrity, and non-celebrity cutouts. You know, with my rampant paranoia about being watched it might be a good idea to get rid of these.
*www.craigslist.org*
You haven’t known the neck-hair-raising eeriness of being watched until your bedroom has been graced with a cardboard cutout of Marty Feldman. Standing there. Smiling that goofy smile. Always smiling. And staring. Never blinking. Sure, it starts out funny, but after a few weeks, say goodbye to sleep.
The guy with the eyes?
:shudder:
That gives me the creeps just thinking about it.
We had this old cat picture from the mid 1800’s that was FREAKY! It was a black cat painted in drab colors; browns, grays, etc for the background. So it was all very faded looking, except for the cats eyes, which were painted an eerie netherworld yellowy green (think Minas Morgul). These eyes were also painted in that special way that makes them seem like they’re following you wherever you are in the room. We give it the loving name of “The Demon Cat Painting”.
My Dad got it from a client as a “special gift” for saving her cat (we think she was just trying to get rid of it). The day he brought it home he asked if anyone wanted it put in their room. That was followed by an emphatic round of “NO!” from all members of the family. It ended up being put in the garage so it wouldn’t stare at us. After spending about a month in there, my Dad finally had to put it in a black plastic bag because when he was out there working on his projects it was giving him the creeps.
We ended up selling it at a yard sale for $15 to a guy who was SURE it was worth a lot of money. Whatever, as long as we got rid of the cursed* painting $15 was the right price for us.
*We never had anything bad happen that could be traced back to the painting’s presence. It IS just a piece of canvas with paint on it, after all.
It ended up being put in the garage so it wouldn’t stare at us. After spending about a month in there, my Dad finally had to put it in a black plastic bag because when he was out there working on his projects it was giving him the creeps.
Was the cat’s name Dorian Grayskull? I’m picturing a younger, more beautiful pussy running around having parties and carry on with typical feline debauchery for decades and never getting any older.
*Typical Feline Debauchery – band name?
*Cue Izzy to point out the handful of grammatical errors I made in that post.*
Too many to list…
Okay. Thinking of Taco’s cat picture officially gives me the jibblies.
My sister has the owl version of that hanging in her kitchen over the kitchen table. Her girls found it somewhere and gave it to her one Mother’s Day so she can’t really get rid of it, but no one eats in the kitchen anymore.
We have this porcelain pighead over our fridge. Its eyes follow you, and it gets creepy when you go out into the kitchen in the middle of the night for a drink of water.
Wow. I have a few cat posters. I also have cat figurines, a clock, and a variety of other things with cats on them. I’m a couple stray cats away from crazy cat lady. But even I would be freaked out by that painting.
@TacoMagic: *We never had anything bad happen that could be traced back to the painting’s presence. It IS just a piece of canvas with paint on it, after all.
Tell that to Dorian Gray. He had a little problem with one.
Can’t be as creepy as my dad’s favorite painting of a sea captain. He bought it from gypsies in the 1970’s. It’s painted on black velvet. A sea captain, at night, during a storm, with glossy eyes that follow you around the room. It looks like something from a haunted house. I’ve told my parents that on the day they die I am burning it.
I’ve painted a few creepy things in my lifetime, but they’re not 4 feet tall and proudly displayed in a livingroom.
Well, not yet, but someday, if your art skills carry you to fame, then who knows?
Eeeeeek! bad enough to have eyes watching you from an image.
But not knowing which eye . . .
OMG — Taco you made that MJackson song just pop into my head
I always feel like somebody’s watching me
And I have no privacy, whoa-oa-oa
I always feel like somebody’s watching me
Tell me, is it just a dream ….
make it stop……….
I guess MJ got his wish….be careful [monkey’s paw] what you ask for!
Too soon? Or merely an anniversary comment?
When I’m in the shower I’m afraid to wash my hair,
Cause I might open my eyes and find somebody standing there…
[music corey, sort of, since I’m not sure and can’t be arsed to check] Wasn’t that Rockwell, not Michael Jackson? [/music corey]
Rockwell wrote and composed the song, Michael sung it if memory serves me.
Lola’s right. Rockwell sang it. MJ sang backup vocals on it.
And because it’s unlikely that GrahamT will show up today, I will cover for him:
BEA ARTHUUURR!
Now you’re going to have to blather on about duct tape and hit on HHNF if she shows up.
As long as you promise to tell us to get a room.
Duct tape, duct tape, duct tape, duct tape.
Get a zomb
If you were to get a room with the Bea Arthur and caveman cardboard cutouts, would it count as a foursome?
If you left the two cutouts in the room together for too long, would you get a cardboard cutout of Billy Joel?
Fracty, I think I have a crush on you. Even though the Billy Joel comment simultaneously makes me laugh and makes me scared.
Taco. Zomg. You just made my little inner comic nerd asplodilate.
And yes, it *was* necessary to invent a new word to express the extent of my nerdy glee.
Looking at this ad on the mobile site (with not enough sleep, granted…) the caveman looks surprisingly like Let It Be era John Lennon.
I should really try this cough-fee of which you all speak.
Strawberry La Brea Tar Pits forever!
*Oh yeah, cavemen and dinosaurs did not co-exist—unless you pay a visit to the Creation Museum or are a Flintstones fan
For that comment, I love you from afar, Mudsy.
Here is a door for you.
For fear of getting everyone panties in a pinch, I’ll refrain from using the term:
Let me take you down
I’ll take your door TM and raise [you] a window.
Bianchi, you are totally right. I’m now, resultantly, humming “The Ballad of John and Yoko.”
…eating chocolate mammoth in a bag…
Joran van der Sloot reference:
…trying to get to Holland or France
Christ you know it ain’t easy…
*that was awkward
Awkward, tasteless, and because I’m a callous, bad person, I snorted anyway.
I love it when you snort in a politically incorrect way Lola.
All we are saying, is save 15%!
All we are saying, is save 15%!
All we are saying, is save 15%!
Ev’rybody’s talking about
Cavemen, Bravemen, Lizards and wizards,
15 minutes and 15 percent and Lennons and Arthurs,
And YSaCs, YSaC.
Are you SURE you’re only 15 Astro?
Yes, but I know these things thanks to the miracles that are the Internet and the iTunes store.
This would be perfect for my future front lawn. It could go right between the large black monolith and the Abbey Road mural.
Don’t forget the 4ft tall cermaic or concrete head!
Right next to the unique sandbox for kids…
*motorboat motorboat*
I’m giggling because I can’t help reading Mudsy’s “motorboat motorboat” as a verb-based “sound effect.”
Party on! Everybody wang chung tonight!
I read it as the beginning to a little rhyme we did in swim lessons to get the kiddos to put their faces in the water. Or, at the very least, blow some bubbles in the water. Anyway, because I’m sure you’re all curious now:
Motorboat, motorboat, go so slow,
Motorboat, motorboat, go so fast,
Motorboat, motorboat, step on the gas!
*blow bubbles, preferably with entire face in water*
Might want to laminate it or something, to protect it from the elements. (Or the elephants.) Plus, when archaeologists dig it up thousands of years from now, it will puzzle them nicely, a la Motel of the Mysteries, http://www.amazon.com/Motel-Mysteries-David-Macaulay/dp/0395284252 one of my favorite books ever.
I am so adding that to my already comically long wish list.
Sarajean, I discovered it in excerpt form in (where else?) a Reader’s Digest back in the late ’70s/early ’80s, and always wanted the whole thing. Fast forward about 30 years: I am an adult with my own money, and there is the internet. I find it. Joy.
Motel of the Mysteries FTW
I was looking for Cathedral to send as a gift (well before one could do that sort of thing online–the Hastings I was in still sold vinyl LPS and had no video section, yet). Found MotM, and after two pages had to carry it home,
Wow Lola, we obviously had the same sort of parents – I remember that excerpt in RD so incredibly clearly. I can still picture the “head-piece” – in fact I have nightmares about it sometimes. I’m now off to Amazon to buy the book. Thanks for reminding me of it’s existence.
Anytime, sweetbickie. I know exactly what you’re talking about, too, re the “headpiece.” I was likewise young enough that it freaked me out a little, even as it intrigued me.
I’ve given it to a couple of people as gifts and they loved it. Hope you can see, if not purchase, it sometime, sj.
I went ahead and treated myself, so I should get it in 7-11 business days, according to Amazon.
Hey, I’m in the box! I’ve never been in the box before! Where’s my punch?
*Punching you by Proxy*
Until Windy gets here….
A proxy-punch is good enough for me!
That’s because you were good, you graduated, and you are studying hard for the Bar. Oh yeah, your comments rock, too – lots!
*Don’t let Taco know, he gets upset about sharing – just ask Mudsy…*
[Insert appropriate snark]
My cat seems to have a difficult hairball today. It was a rough morning. He’s doing alright now, though. He’s even on the bed, and he doesn’t like the bed if he doesn’t feel good, so that’s a good sign. I’m just tired from all the cleaning. Anyway, forgive my lack of snark. I’ll be back later.
Aw, I hope Severus feels better soon.
*refrains from making squicky, hairball-related comment*
He says, “meroww,” which i think translates to, “I’m feeling much better now, thanks!”
Totally OT but I didn’t want to add it to the previous thread when you all are playing over here.
GIMP was too geeky for me so I found another freebie, Paint.net, and I love it. Full-featured & free. Wo0t!!!!111!!!
I used to know an unemployed philospher, who was pretty reasonable–not sure such trade is allowed, even on CL, though.
Ick, managed to get major hack on the desktop from a Java update of all things.
If you see AV Security Update, it is a virus, and you will likely need two computers to repair it.
Ugh, good thing I have good coffee.
Now, to sort out which keyboard & pointing device to use . . .
My daughter had that on her computer earlier this week (yes we do have more computers than people living here). It look several hours and a lot of hacking to finally get rid of it. Good luck Captn!!!
Waiting on the command line version of AVG to finish, sigh.
Half debating figuring where to spot the camera to get a picture of this “glommed together” computing situation. What with having the tablet PC perched in front of the desktop. At least the presario is on a cat5 cable [g]
I think Bridgete’s cat can say the same about his hairball (several hours and a lot of hacking, that is).
Heck, I used to be an unemployed philosopher, but no one ever said I was “pretty reasonable”. Obtuse, overbearing, opinionated, arrogant are but a few of the things that were said. Those, of course, were before I arrived at the age where curmudgeonly could be applied. I suppose in a few more years I might move to being “wise” as opposed to being a “smart-ass”.
Must say though, obtaining a degree in philosophy does prepare you to deal with life’s little annoyances – like the corporate world, and the bosses who come with that world. One can take the mental position that “This, too, shall pass” much like 6 whole wheat bagels and a stick of butter, or Taco’s 3 layer chocolate cake (dogs), or Ms. Bridgete’s hairball day (cats).
Capn, glad the desktop is back to cooperating. May your keyboarding fingers be happy.
You have NO IDEA how many people call me “Ms. Bridgete.” I suppose it does roll nicely off the tongue. =)
Literally or figuratively, I believe the hairball day has passed. He’s eating and drinking normally, and seems to be a happy cat again. He’s had some hairball medicine today, I’ll probably give him a bit more tomorrow just to be sure, but I think all is well.
OT: I forgot to share this! I got to meet Silva at the meetup in Cambridge a couple weeks ago, and she drew me a singing Not.A.Lion!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bridgetem/4731376080/
Neat! – I’d go to a Not.A.Lion concert, and I’m an old freak (or maybe I’m freakin’ old – I get so confused when I’m confused).
I love how this add starts off so optimistic — “add some class to your dorm or living room,” but halfway through, the seller seems to run out of ideas.
Meh… use it to get into the carpool lane.
30 bucks or anything reasonable.
Fml how’d I end up with a cutout of a Geiko caveman in the first place?
vengeful dinosaurs?
Hey, the desktop works, cool.
And, I have YSaC in FF–double woohoo!
Oh gosh. Take a gander at the second ad.
Oh gosh. That…
Oh gosh. 6 foot 5?
That’s longer than anyone in my family is tall!
*hic* did da punch.
G’nights Bolivia!
Oh, Capn. Tanks for the sign off yesserday. G’job.
“de nada” as they say around here.
Psst… when no one is around…..I know what Depressy’s been doing, when he’s not here.
HE’S IN A MOVIE!!!!
I went to see Toy Story 3, and there he was! Do you think he’ll give us autographs?
Wow, a Deressy sighting! 8) As for autographs, you ask first. I’ll stand over here out of spitting range.
Maybe it’s just me, but I really admire the spirit of the first ad, and would sincerely request the application of the “possibly awesome” tag.
It’s probably just me.
It’s not just you, D / DM. I feel the same way. See above.