YSaC, Vol. 706: It’s not just cats!
1 dogs
I male Greman Shepard mix, 1- female Lab mix. Free to good home, Both have been fixed and are good with childern. They are approximately 7 years old. I would perfer to have the kept together.
Call xxx-xxxx
So let’s see if the dog math calculator does any better than the cat math one … *gets out dogulator* … take 1 dogs, divide by Greman, add childern, and multiply by perfer.
*Smacks dogulator*
Huh. I end up with “bear on a hat stand”.
Maybe you’re only looking for ONE one dog, as opposed to the TWO one dogs that are available above. How about this one? He’s exotic.
asstralian pup to good home no fee
4 mothe old tri color male asstrail shep pup to good home as soon as possable comes with papers and all toys and bed and food
call julie xxx-xxx-xxxx to arrage to pick him up
Who knew? Apparently dog age is measured in lepidoptera now. Also, there’s a continent that would like to have a word with you, Julie.
Thanks, Tamera and Stephanie!
Apparently the dog in the second ad is one of those dogs who’s always sniffing other dogs’ butts.
Wait, that’s pretty much all dogs, isn’t it?
I know our vet gave us some great medication for that asstrail issue with our dog.
So it doesn’t follow donkeys around anymore?
I bet you had to get your carpets cleaned a lot.
Good thing this one comes with it’s own papers. You’d still have to change them though.
For once, I actually finished eating before opening up YSaC. The asstralian dog has made me glad I did so. Also, (and my medicine hasn’t fully kicked in yet, mind) I just realized that this site’s font uses the really awesome fancy-looking g’s. gggggggggggggggggggggggg.*
*The form of g is my favorite letter in the alphabet, and I’ve been working on training myself to make my g’s like that since approx. 5th grade. They’re fancy and fun looking letters, and make me look like I care about my work more than the average person, which is a flat-out lie.
Looking for a shepherd to guide you down the asstrail that is this mortal coil? Look no further, my child, for this dog fits the bill exactly.
I think that’s Mark Sanford’s job.
Oh, wait, that’s getting a piece of ass on the Appalachian Trail. Never mind.
Why does this make me think of Fess Parker – “Davey, Davey Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier”?
*If only I still had my ‘coonskin cap*
It kinda looks like those two dogs are chained together, so maybe they do actually come as ONE. Sort of like a pushmi-pullyu.
Could be… but Dr. Doolittle would never make that counting mistake.
Not without a snappy, uplifting song and a spontaneously choreographed dance number.
I have some “the kept together”. I want the hermaphrodite, color-changing dog!
That would be awesome.
Color changing dog you say? Look no further than the internet trend of “Sparkle Dogs” [an example]
brought forth from the minds of bored teenage girls who must have had Lisa Frank folders as kids, plaguing an art site near you
It can’t be that bad.
:clicks link:
Gah. I’m having a Rainbow Brite flashback.
“this rainbowfluff dog has an astral wing” …
*runs to freezer*
*drinks vodka straight from bottle even though it’s not yet 7 am and I have to go to work*
And this all apparently adds up to a Don Bluth acid-trip nightmare wearing lime green bikini bottoms with a rainbow skull tattoo… and green teeth? And even if I am willing to grant you mythological species like the kitsune and unicorn, I’m pretty sure a rainbow still doesn’t qualify as a species.
I think I was this silly when I was 5. I’d like to think I grew out of it by my teen years.
Did you see!?! The eyes turn EMO BLUE when she’s sad!
I had an asstrailin shepherd once. I’m fairly certain it was the result of something she ate.
That’s what you call a dog that only has front legs — ‘asstrailin’
You know, I just now vaguely remember Taco doing a oneliner like this a while ago, so I’ll give him credit.
Mine was more packagalogically focused though.
Sparky.
Maybe you should switch to a dog food that doesn’t have Olestra in it.
Atti was a sweet dog, but not very bright. She was a Greman shepherd/Husky mix (I feel like I should spell that as “Huksy” just to keep in line with the post.) The worst incident was actually the result of her scarfing down half a dozen wheat bagels and a stick of butter. It was the night before we were leaving for vacation and she was going to stay with Grampdaddy and Grampmommy for the week. Yeah…not good, but far worse for them than it was for us.
We had a German Shepard/Greyhound mix that learned he could stand on his hind legs in order to get stuff on the counter (Something we never managed to break him of).
He descovered this trick the day I had baked a beautiful 3 layer chocolate cake with caramel cream cheese frosting and butter cream filling.
Poosplosion does not even begin to describe the events that unfolded 4 hours later. He spent the next two days in the dog run painting it fun colors. Before that incident I never knew a dog could hold that much liquid waste.
For some reason, the only thing that comes to mind regarding this asstrailin mutt with only his front legs is TM’s reference from a few days ago to steel testicles and sparks.
All I can say is, “Ballin’!”
Descover: 1)To take something established and strike it from all known records. To un-discover. 2)To hinder the discoveries of others. 3) A duvet used to cover the data encryption standards.
I feel fortunate that we had a fairly uneventful Golden Retriever, who we joked was so friendly that he would lick any intruders to death. When I was just a wee larva, he would curl around my… ummm… those things you put babies in to sleep but you can also carry them, and they’re like little car seats…. and protect me as I slept.
He never did anything traumatically eventful involving his digestive system, to my knowledge, event though I did use to feed him my vegetables not-so-discreetly at the table.
deskcover: blotter
Taco, do I have permission to use “descover” and make it into a legal term? I think your first definition would work well for the destruction of documents in bad faith.
It’s all yours Bridgete. Just make sure to cite me should you publish it :).
Hmm…let’s see…
fn1 – TacoMagic, You Suck at Craigslist comment 46966, available at http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4794#comment-46966 (June 23, 2010).
Hawt reference!
Wow, Manda’s and Taco’s stories bring a whole new meaning to “shooting craps.”
That’s bluebook, baby. 😉
Only a half dozen bagels and one stick of butter? I would have sworn it was 4 dozen and a 5 pound bucket of lard.
Just sayin’.
Atti didn’t bother stretching – she just jumped directly up onto the counter. She was 55 pounds of stupid but oh so sweet dogginess. Man, I miss that dog.
[legal corey] Bridgete – “available at” is only for parallel cites to internet sources that are also available in a traditional printed medium. For direct citation to internet sources, no “available at” is used. [/legal corey].
Oh! You’re right. That’s what I get for thinking I can do Bluebook from memory for anything other than case citations.
I am a complete Bluebook nerd, which as you know is not something to brag about. I even did the Facebook quiz called “Which Bluebook Rule Are You?”
Camille, the 19th ed. just came out. Got your copy yet? (Ours are still on order, as it was printed only earlier this month.)
Bridgete, make sure you have the new one!
I don’t know if I’m ready to learn a new Bluebook!
I heard about the new one. But I’ve been told (by barbri) not to cite on the bar exam unless it’s painfully obvious I should know the case (so…Miranda basically), because I won’t get any points for citing the correct case and I’ll get knocked if I’m incorrect. Even when I do cite something like Miranda, I only have to state the case name and move on. So, I’ll get my new one when I start working and actually need it. But thanks! =)
And Camille, don’t worry. From what I understand, they don’t change THAT much when they update. Most of it will still be the same Bluebook you know and love.
Obviously the asstrailin shepard is that rare breed of dog used to keep your donkey in line.
Error. Sense not found. Abort, Retry, Coffee? *clicks on coffee* Insert disc coffee into coffee maker. *can’t find disc. inserts plastic lid from coffee can* Really? Operation Fails. Return to prompt/bed. *nods, exits program, leaves room*
function coffee
while time==morning{
if mug.contents==0{
if pot==empty{
pot = pot+grounds+water+electrical.power.on;
pause 600;
}
if pot!=empty{
hand.right=hand.right+mug;
hand.left=hand.left+pot;
mug.contents=hand.right+hand.left;
}}
mouth=mug.contents;
mug.contents=mug.contents-mouth.volume;
fprintf(1,’Ahhhhhhhh’);
}
end
scriptload/
if||findfile:function(coffee); load Coffee;goto:function”General Quarters!”
Set xtime=current time
set time=morning //always morning for coffee//
Run Coffee
functionload:Apocalypseaverted
/script
Windrose and Taco – I’m a photographer and I find this programming stuff really confusing. I just can’t picture it. Maybe I haven’t been exposed enough?
You know, I’ve always wanted to expose myself to more photograhy.
(I shutter at the thought of Taco exposing himself.)
Don’t worry, Isaac – I’m sure there’s a number of restraining orders in place to prevent that sort of thing from happening. Again.
In 38 states I’m not allowed to remove my pants!
fstop that, and now!
I bet spelling “shutter” just made you cringe, didn’t it Isaac?
*snicker*
**almond joy**
Sorry Capn. When some puns come along we just can’t seem to focus on anything else. We’ll tripod to do better.
**mounds**
Aw, c’mon, they were just having fun! It’s not like Taco turned on his flash yet or anything!
Aw, get a darkroom.
***Baby Ruth***
Not sure the darkroom is the place for hanky-panky. I mean, some things can develop…but then they’ll be stopped…and then they’ll get fixed. Ouch.
Well, it is unfortunate that Bridgete is busy at her studies fstop being so close to crossword favorite estop, one of those spiffy legal terms beloved of barristers.
Darkroom hanky-panky? One must stay out of the foto-flo!
If you were “fixed” you would not have a lot of interest in darkroom “activities.”
I like it when I get air-brushed. It’s sort of like air-guitar—only different.
****milky way****
Estop! Lawsuit time! ♫ Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh ♫
Hey! Eighth notes! How do you put in eight notes?
*****Minty Three Musketeers*****
The only way I’ve found is to copy/paste from here:
http://www.chatsmileysemoticons.com/full-list-of-symbols-for-facebook-myspace-msn-status-heart-music-note-sunshine-peace-sign/
The various music notes are about 1/4 of the way down.
Yes! My messages can now all look ♯, because without music, life would B♭!
See, that’s why I’ve gone completely digital. I like to leave the lights on.
*York Peppermint Patty*
Kinky.
*Twix*
**Hershey’s Kisses**
Or afraid of the dark….
*Mallo Cups*
Careful there, Astro – I think you’re interfering with SJ trying to seduce me.
*Turkish Taffy*
Not today, I’m sure Grampmomma and Manda would tear me to bits.
*Kit Kat*
Argh…
Music humor.
“sharp and flats and a-dog-ios”
Don’t be coda-pendant on too many sheet music puns.
*Zagnuts & Mary Janes*
**Tootsie Rolls**
Well SJ, we’d have to be very discrete and not let anybody know about this.
*Whoppers*
I think you’ve already lost all ability to be discreet. This is a public internet, after all.
**Milk Duds**
That makes it more fun.
*Caramello*
Grampdaddy…I LOVE the darkroom. I miss it terribly. Also, I have a nice digital SLR (Nikon D-100), but I don’t have Photoshop or anything else equally useful, so I’m always annoyed with what I CAN’T do once the photos are taken…aside from messing with the brightness and contrast sliders on the crappy program that came with my computer. Which is reminiscent of my best darkroom skills, at least; my high school photo teacher and my college photo professor both said I have a knack for perfectly exposed prints. But, even if I could do more with digital, I’d still miss the meditative qualities of being in a darkroom.
**caramello**
OMG! Astro’s right! They’re on to us SJ – I know, we can tell them we were talking about hiking in the mountains – the Catskills, the Rockies, umm, what’s that other group of mountains?
*Butterfingers*
The Appalachians, mayhaps?
**Seafoam**
SJ – Caramello! I read your mind! Or you read my mind! Or something.
Bridgete – I, too, love the darkroom. There is something magical and serene about watching a print come up in the developer tray. When I opened my own studio there just wasn’t enough time to do darkroom work, which is why I really went to digital. After more than two decades working at Eastman Kodak when I lived back East, I swore I would never own a digital camera — BUT, things change (VERY long story, there).
Suggestion: download GIMP. As mentioned previously by Dan, I believe, it is an open-source software package that does almost (or everything) that Photoshop does. I’ve found it is not quite as user-friendly as PS, but it is an incredibly powerful program. If you’ve used PS, you will find GIMP very similar. And, of course, it is free.
Now, young lady – back to the Bar with you. Study and do well!
Ah, thank you Astro – Mark Sanford recommended them, if I recall. A lovely place to visit, junehaps? (Wow, it’s almost julyhaps already!)
*Bit-O-Honey*
Well, as far as the bits in North Carolina, it’s ideal to visit in fallhaps.
**M&M’s**
I’ll keep that in mind. I must be away now, a renovation project is calling me. I have to go lay some ceramic tile. On the floorhaps.
*Valo-milks*
Ooh, I remember the discussion about GIMP, but I didn’t catch that it’s open-source. *investigates*
As for the bar, I wrote a decent practice essay today (or, decent in my view as compared to the model answer) to be handed in tonight when I go to class. I should do one more multiple-choice practice set before I head out though. Off I go. Don’t have too much fun without me.
***British Smarties***
GIMP is very useful, once you figure it out.
Good Luck!
****Mars Bars****
Gimp is hawt piccs!1! With the right plug-ins and knowledge it’s as good (or better) than Photoshop.
*****Whatchamacallit*****
**Hershey’s Special Dark Nuggets with Almonds**¹
________
¹Possibly a Chocolate Drumstick later, if I’m good.
***Peanut Butter and Marshmallow Chocolate Eggs***
Don’t worry SJ, I wouldn’t tear anyone to bits. Grampdaddy is responsible for his own misbehavior. And I’m pretty sure Grampmommy is *still* capable of knocking his ass out if provoked.
**Skor**
[error: snark not found]
***Sno-Caps***
**Chocolate-covered Cherries**
And, if I may speak for Mr. Eyebrows:
**Big Hunk**
Oh, I think I’ve got one to trump all y’all, but I don’t know if this type of treat quite counts:
Oreo Milkshake from Cookout
You folks are bad for my blood sugar. I have to go to 7-11, brb.
Which leaves us with the perfect ending…
*Cow Tail*
I just realized that the first ad was written by the Greman shepard. I guess if a rooster can write a book, a Greman shepard can post on CL.
Well hey, this Shepard hosts what purports to be a news show. The sky’s the limit for the shepards out there.
The sky was no limit for Alan Shepard.
“Purports” is the key word here. He has freaky Liza eyebrows.
They must use the same stencil.
Yep!
“I male Greman Shepard mix, 1- female Lab mix”
I, a male Greman Shepard mix, being of sound mind and comfortably padded body, wish to reduce the number of female Lab mixes in my vicinity by 1.
***
Poor dogs, though.
I have two dogs that drive me NUTS. One of them has never, ever, ever been successfully housebroken – only dog I’ve ever lived with that’s been “untrainable.” She’ll do okay for a week or so, after a month of intensive training, fractured sleep, and me being unable to do keep up with work and chores, but then she’s right back peeing on the carpet whenever the mood strikes her. The other one is about 12 years old, and she’s starting to either forget her housebreaking (she seems to be going a bit senile, and forgets how to get to the back door sometimes when I call her), or has just given up because “what the hell? The little one does it, why shouldn’t I?”
I cannot lie to you, I will be deeply relieved when they both pass on (I probably won’t even be sad when the little one dies), and I will not get any more dogs, but there’s no way in hell I could ever just throw my hands up and go, “You know what? Craigslist, that’s what.” For the puppy, enh – puppies are more resilient, I think; but I feel really bad for those poor grown dogs.
We had a dog go senile. She was a great dog when she had her faculties about her, but once her mind started to go it was just kinda sad. She went from the best trained, good tempered, housebroken dog you could hope for to a deaf, uhousebroken, grumpy dog. Even so, she hung in there for almost 3 years once she went senile.
It’s bad to say it, but it was a relief when she finally passed. We had to replace carped in 3 rooms afterwards. Which, incidentally, is the number of rooms in that house that had carpet.
When I was in high school, we had a cat that had a huge problem with peeing in inappropriate places. He was fixed, obviously with the goal of preventing the spraying…but, the problem was, while he and his brother were both ENORMOUS cats (we didn’t know their background, but figured they were at least 1/2 Maine Coon…they were still too “small” to be purebred), he was a bit smaller AND less aggressive than his brother. So, fixed or not, he still marked his territory. Unfortunately, it was to no avail, the bigger one just strolled right through the marked territory. Bigger guy never even bothered to re-mark anything, he just didn’t care. I imagine him thinking, “Another cat! Oh, wait, *sniff* I know who that is. I can take him.”
Both passed on about two years ago. I was more upset about the bigger one.
TM – sorry about the senile dog, but did you really have to ‘carped’ 3 rooms, or were you just being koi?
I’ve really carped out on the proofreading today. It’s bream a busy day, but I had no fish to trout my bad spelling in front of everyone.
eeee, [dog corey]
When a dog ‘repeats’ in the same spot, there’s usually a reason.
Sometimes that’s a declaration of “this one spot is mine.”
Or, it’s a “this smell is mine” which can be a reaction to stress (like if the other dog “forgets” who the younger one is). The older dog could also be having some chemical changes with ages, and the younger dog is trying to “cover” that up.
Dog not only has 15-30 times the olfactory area we mere humans do, but the sensitivity of the olfactory sensors is 3-5 orders of magnitude better, too. Potentially to not only “smelling” faint scents, but knowing the “age” of the scent as well.
Tricky part is that you, as a mere human, are probably not going to be able to completely clean a given spot of all its smell. Which means the dog can find it again. Which becomes a push-pull of the dog going “Mine!” and you coming back and doing the same thing, as far as the dog sees it–you take the smell away, you make a great noise about it, you even add strong smells of your own.
Even worse, if the younger dog is feeling excluded, or like a home nurse for the other dog, you are creating a “bonding moment” for the younger dog.
Which gets to tricky pretty quick. Sometimes you just need to leave papers down, or a grass “piddle mat”–or, worst case, you need a third dog.
Wish I could offer better, but, not being Greman hinders this.
[/corey]
I know about the odor being a trigger for repeated “accidents,” and all the rest. The bigger dog will occasionally have a bad day and go in the house, and for her it usually is in one of three spots. The little dog, however, seems to have no concept of “needing to go to the bathroom” – if it happens, it happens! That’s her motto, seems like.
We’ve tried kenneling her, and she pees and poops in the kennel and seems totally oblivious while the bigger, older, dog is clearly distressed by the mess. (We then put them in separate kennels, which made the older dog happy but didn’t change anything about the little dog.) I’ve even bought doggie diapers for her, and she not only peed in them, but pooped in them too!
The vet said that it’s possible she has some neurological issues that are causing “missed signals.” She’s got a peculiar gait and (is very particular about/has trouble with) walking on certain surfaces; I’d tell you all the details but it’s already boring enough. Long story short, he said the only thing he can think of is a physical problem interfering with her ability to control her output, or (he said very delicately) perhaps some mild brain damage (and I laughed, because I’ve always said that).
The thing that really throws us is that she seems trainable for a short period of time, but then it goes out the window. And this has been through three “full-time” houses, several different flooring situations, and four professional kenneling/training facilities. I want to just leave her as an outside dog, but the older dog can’t stand it – she gets all worried that the little one’s getting some special treatment outside that she’s missing out on. Now that the weather’s warm, they’re both outside all but a few hours a day, but in the winter, the older dog can’t handle the cold.
Oh well. Thank goodness for the cats!
An asstralian puppy! I love those little guys to no end! I know they can be a pain to rear, butt I think they’re well worth the effort. The bottom line is that they are at the tail end of an era where that type of dog was truely appreciated. I feel it is my duty to make sure this rocky patch is put behind.
No butts about it, that type of dog belongs in Wisconsin where he can smell the dairy air.
You know. I’m more of a cat person. I’ve got nothing against dogs per se, they’re just higher maintenance and I can’t be bothered. I don’t think I’ll ever actually own a…
ALL HAIL HYPNO DOGS!
Just a minute – have reviewed the math involved, and the poster may be correct!
*Pulls out catulator from behind couch, installs fresh kibble and adds a dash of catnip for the performance upgrade*
Let’s see: German Shepard mix = fractional German Shepard; Lab Mix = Fractional Lab
(1 over German Shepard X Lab over 1) X Asstrailin Shepard = Ken’lration
Ken’lration + 4th derivative of ‘Beggin’Strips’ – cat disdain for canines X cost of new leash and collar = Throw stuffed mouse for kitty.
Yup, that proves it – Elvis has left the building.
*Reaches over for his Dogulator*
No, down, DOWN! Ok, German Shepard Mix – Labrador Mix… SIT, SIIIIIIIIIIIT. *puts milkbone in for more power*
German Shepard Mix – Labrador mix… Do you need to go outside? Ok, hold on a second *grabs leash and plastic bag*
German Shepard Mix – Labrador Mix… NO not on the sidewalk, on the GRASS! You’re gonna get me a ticket!
German Shepard Mix – Labrador mix = Bacon or one chewed shoe.
*Hands dogulator bacon*
Well there you have it folks.
Catulator attacks dogulator from behind curtain, pouncing on tail. Catulator then races off through house, chasing……… nothing. Dogulator turns around three times, goes into “sleep mode”.
A wild dogulator appears.
Catulator uses purr,
Dogulator is put off guard, it’s defense drops sharply.
Dogulator uses drool, it started to rain.
Catulator uses nose swipe, it’s super effective!
Dogulator runs away.
I’d give you an adore, but for the its / it’s confusion.
Blast! (oise)
I need to stop typing things quickly and just assuming my brain know’s what its doing. Oh well, thats’ probably the reason I becommed an engineer. I need not half the good Englisch.
It also explains the reoccurring comments I got in my writing courses:
“You’re writing style is very solid, with good word choice and the beginnings of a powerful lyrical style. Your mechanics on the other hand are atrocious enough to be an embarrassment to a third grader.” That one is pretty well verbatim from my “Writing 113: Fiction and Short Stories” course.
By the way, what have you been up to Izzy? I’ve missed your proof reading the last few weeks.
I don’t think you can mix CatMath and DogMath, the data sets wouldn’t be compatable. A dogulator will bring you the same answer over and over and over until your arm falls off, while a catulator has to be bribed just to wake up.
It’s a lab mixed Greman Shepard? Sounds like one of those fancy designer dogs. Wonder if it comes in purple, maybe a size eight and a half?
I prefer for my lab-mixed animals to glow in the dark, at least, if not phosphoresce.
I want one of those glow-in-the-dark mice. That would freak my cats out to no end.
I want one. It would freak my sister out to no end, as well.
I bet your sister just can’t wait until it’s your birthday….your special day…where you rub your presence and your specialness in her face every minute of the day.
May her future therapy lessons be long and productive.
😉
That uh… got weird fast there, Mudsy.
I don’t know what kind of family Astro has, but I’m thinking it’s probably not that… uh… open.
*Wander off to get the brain bleach.*
**Runs off to go take a brain bleach bath**
Aaah! You’ve ruined that perfectly innocent post for me now TM. That bell cannot be un-rung. Curses!
*as if all the ass-dragging dog conversation going around here this morning was somehow stellar and uplifting…
Even in the South it’s frowned upon to rub your “presence” and your “specialness” into someone’s face for extended periods of time, especially if they’re family.
That costs extra.
Jus’ ’cause I’m in the South, it der’n’t mean I ain’t respekkible folk! This heeyuh’s Car’lina, it ain’t Wes’ V’Ginia!
(Typing in dialect always makes me cringe a little bit)
Were all our minds not already in the gutter I might not have noticed the subtle implication of your innocent post, Mudsy.
Writing in vernacular is always complicated.
You wind up being phonetic, as fashions of “creole” writing (20’s gangster; post-Great War slang; Erse; Brogue, etc.) are “small audience” at the best of times.
There are precious few people who know that “toot sweet” is a brought-back-from-WWI-France GI usage to “tuit suite” mostly seen in print as gangster patois. Some expressions will “last” a bit, “dinky-dow” the GI version of “dien cai dau” and used to mean “touched” or “illogical” is still about, but fading.
But, to write phonetically is a real pain, and to the reader, too. With the fillip of you can spoil the line by getting any of the phonemes wrong, too.
Suppose you which to have a character from Texas inquire of location. In east Texas that’s “Wire?” In west Texas that’s “War?” In Texarkana, it’s “Whehr?”
Until not too long ago in south central Texas, that’s “Vho?” (many Germans, and the odd Greman dahn theyt waze). What an author does with dialectical issues when the phrase is “¿Donde?” is clean beyond me (I shudder to think how to communicate Spanglish to a non-cognizant audience).
Always assume my posts are innocent and pure as a box of Ivory soap—I will equally assume that most minds in here are already in the gutter. Future problems: alleviated.
Wasn’t Marilyn Chambers on the Ivory soap box at one point?
What are you trying to say there, sarajean?
*blink blink*
Nothing, nothing. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
:whistles innocently:
SJ, did you learn that on listverse this week??
(If you didn’t, and somehow knew that somehow else (?!), I highly recommend it. listverse.com!)
Hey… it’s Fluffy!
But why would Hagrid get rid of Fluffy?
Never got big enough to eat.
I’m going to name him Miffy and we’ll ride together on our Harley Davidson Motorcycle!
**gets out scalpel**
Lessee…
4 mothe old [With all these e’s, who needs n’s?] tri color [rigatoni? mmmmm…] male asstrail [sounds like a personal problem] shep pup [ Urbandictionary defines “shep” as “The loud uncouth sound made when a drunken Welshman is startled by a sheep.”, among other less pleasant definitions] to good home as soon as possable [No idea what possable means, and neither does Urban Dictionary. Its best guess as to what I mean is Swamp Donkey, though.]
comes with papers and all toys [all toys? Even the new Buzz Lightyear action figures? Hmmm??] and bed and food [so he comes with his own food, as in I don’t need to buy it? This pup is clearly more wise in the ways of magic than even the Hypno-Dogs!]
I think I need to wait for the coffee to wear off before I can understand that, Astro.
It’s the second ad. What is in brackets is my commentary. I was going to do footnotes, but I lost track of all the asterisks.
Ahh, that’s what lost me. Brackets confuse and disorient me.
Brackets make me feel all safe and cozy. Like the arms of god or the wings of an angel have enveloped me—right before I suffocate.
I must admit, it does look a little intimidating looking back at it…
Well, brackets get confusing when it is not March.
Brackets have been known to cause madness, particularly in the third month of the year.
[Edited to add: Capn beat me to the joke! That’s what I get for reading the whole page before refreshing!]
That’s just MADNESS taking over you two!
*beware the ides of March madness!
Isaac, this is going to sound extremely odd, (but don’t worry, time will [eventually] reveal my purpose here. It’s something actually very interesting, but I’m waiting to announce it until it’s near completion. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one that will have strange questions asked of them.) but what type of footwear does your gravatar prefer? Sandals, Flip-Flops, Shoes, or Barefoot?
As much as I’d like to snark this, and as bad as the speeling is, I’m actually glad these ads seem to be from people who are trying to do what’s best for the dogs and not asshats looking to circumvent the no pet sales rule with “re-homing fees.” Honestly if they treat their dogs with the same cavalier attitude that they treat the written word with, the dogs are better off somewhere else.
This sort is better than the “I have an animal, give me some money” sort of ads. It could have benefitted from a run through spell-check, though.
I wonder if they’ve been sprinkled.
Anybody know what has happened with HHNF? Haven’t heard from her in forever…
I think it’s kind of amazing that the first dog actually wrote the ad!
“I male Greman Shepard mix…”
Considering he was typing with paws(try that, Taco…), I think he did pretty well.
O mighty Bianchi Sound, Goddess of Wholly Owned Subsidiaries, I believe the topic has already been addressed.
Also, I think typing with paws must be easier than with mugs. I just do; there’s no evidence to back it up, though.
Bacon.
Sammich.
Isn’t that a big No-No for you?
We don’t generally follow the rules of Kosher. Except with things like pickles and hot dogs, because the kosher variations taste better. Really, I doubt that God minds very much if I have a ham sammich, and drink milk with it. He doesn’t seem nit-picky enough of a guy, and it’s not as if it’s his most serious concern at the moment, anyway.
Plus he said go forth into the world and eat everything.
Or something like that.
Something about dominion, and mastery, and having lots of sex. It’s all kinda fuzzy anymore.
In any event; Michael Jackson (Yup, he’s still a punch line).
Sir Francis or Kevin?
chew toy
Isn’t that Korean for “Danny?”
Ought to not be bonus points, but HP, if you can get 6º on Sir Francis.
Since I’m too lazy… er… busy… to read all of the comments before mine, I’ll just throw this out there and hope no one’s already said it.
The poster of the first ad is obviously trying to give away one dog and find himself a new home at the same time. In case you didn’t notice,
“I male Greman Shepard mix…”
Don’t bust his chops. I don’t know many German shepherds smart enough to type… I’ll excuse the spelling. He’s a g’boy, yess he IS.
Actually it was said twice before you. Once by me and once by Bianchi. Doesn’t make it any less true though.
It DOESN’T make it any less true, but it probably makes it less funny. Thanks for making me lame.
And it was encased the entire time. And encased the entire time. and encased the entire time…
In DA minty shell.
OT, but YSaC related: while having a snack with my not quite 3 year old this afternoon, he held up his camel shaped animal cracker and said, “Look. A llama!” I informed him that it was actually a camel and we talked about camels for a little bit. Snacking continued. He found another camel and informed me once again that it was a llama.
*Sigh*
He’s a very bright kid, I swear. He can tell the difference between a lion and a not.a.lion but apparently gets tripped up when it comes to llama and not.a.llama.
Not.a.llama means I now have “The Llama Song” stuck in my head and will thus be snickering to myself at odd moment all morning…
*Wanders off muttering “Half a llama, twice the llama, not a llama, farmer llama…”*
ETA: Llama is one of those words which loses all meaning and looks like gibberish _really_ quickly.
Oh.my.goodness. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.
Llama llama duck!
Which always leads me right into the “badger badger badger” song…
What can make you move? Chihuahua!
Can you feel the groove? Chihuahua!
Thanks so much. My kids drove me CRAZY (not far to go) with that song when they first found it. Now it’s going to be in my head all evening.
That is hilarious…. and it did a good job of getting me out of my bad mood.
And I have the MP llama song “Cuiado, esta llamas aiya!” flamencoing through my noggin now
Not at all helped by the “fins for swimming” reference after hearing about surf conditions in Durban (where the c.carcaradonae leap the surf for seals)
Dan and I have the llama song memorized, and can (and do) perform it in public on command.
I’m thinking this is an important fact we all need to remember for possible future use.
Yes, llama can very easily become a non-word, but it’s a very, very fun word as long as it remains a word.
Llama llama llama llama llama llama llama llama llama llama…
*wanders off chanting “llama” in a Deadpool-like fashion*
Why, yes, I did win a one-month subscription to Marvel digital comics thanks to a code on a Dr. Pepper cap! [/shameless plug] How *ever* did you guess?
I think it’s kind of amazing that the first dog actually wrote the ad!
“I male Greman Shepard mix…”
Considering he was typing with paws(try that, Taco…), I think he did pretty well.
I can’t believe no one had pointed this out yet.
What?
That, and the mathematical concepts to perceive the lab as a 1- dog are pretty advanced for your average canine.
Advanced study of iterative code harder to do when
Hey! Look! A Bird!
Wait! A! BALL! Pounce!
Look!Look!Look!Look!Look!A Stranger!A Stranger!Oh! He’s gone now
“[L]ibrary functions provide a valuable tool for developers…”
Sigh. Getting to know a new bird, an African Gray, and unwisely left my finger near her beak too long. Now I am typing with right index finger bandaged. Snark on hold until I heal. Surprised at how well I am typing, however. 8)
If your finger hurts too much, try TacoMagic’s Patented Typing Mugs (TM, TM)!!
OT, but I thought you’d like to know that you’ve all returned my mind to its natural home in the gutter. It had ventured away sometime after snickering about “penal interests” in 1L year. But tonight, the words “purge the taint” during crim pro almost killed me…mainly because I felt I had to stifle the laughter for the sake of the rest of the people in the class.
So you know all about the penal code? I am sure you were corrupted hanging around with all those torts.
Did you meet any conwicts out by the hulks?*
*Don’t ask why this literary reference popped into my head. Actually, it’s probably because Magwitch was in the penal colony of Australia, and my crazy English teacher has hardwired our class to think of various books to certain words. For example, if you say the word pig, I think The Odyssey. It’s scary, actually.
[appropriate laughter, snark, and punning back at Windrose’s puns]
I have exciting news! So, on the actual bar exam, the goal passing score, per essay, is a 4 or 5. My FIRST graded practice essay, handed in last week, came back today. I got a 4.5!!!!!!!!!!! Most other people got a 2.5, which is what they expected. Actually, that’s what I expected. I was SHOCKED to see that score at the top of the page.
Now, mind you, this was evidence, a subject I already had a good handle on before even beginning bar prep. But, a lot of people got downgraded for organizational problems (which is apparently a big reason people get downgraded on the real exam, as opposed to just not knowing anything), so the fact that my answer was well-organized is a good sign. And besides, evidence is very likely to appear on the essay day, so it’s not like I did well in a potentially unimportant subject. So, I get to do a little happy dance. =)
Okay…off to do one more set of practice questions, then I’m going to reward myself for a job well done with So You Think You Can Dance (yay for TiVo!).
Congrats Bridgete! I don’t know why they insist on making you rote-learn so much stuff; if they could make the exams about being able to write coherently and communicate ideas effectively you’d drastically improve the end product, IMNSHO. Plus, the need for all the rote-learning disappears once you’re in a firm and have lawyers more junior than you to boss around…
Jen, I wholeheartedly agree with you. Even when you don’t have junior lawyers to boss around because you ARE the junior lawyer, you still don’t do anything from memory. You research and then you analyze what you find. But, this is what they make me do to be a lawyer, so, I’m doing it. Maybe someday I’ll get myself on the Board of Bar Overseers and change some things. Hmmmmm…
No, that will never work.
A profession that embraces (to greater and lesser extent) the concept of combative argument could be said to be better off with people admitted to its ranks by mere rote success.
Now, argument, like rhetoric, can be a function of age in the sense of experience, too–other professions use this for licensing, that the entry tests are just barriers to the hoi polloi and dilettantes; the true test being in surviving in practice (which seems to be the case in architecture and engineering, more and more).
Now, for a profession allegedly immersed in the need for clarity and precision and organization, some of the extant exemplars are scaring me no end.
CL posters, that it seems like people who can’t even use the potty all by themselves yet can count better than you. And determine that ‘one of these things is not like the other’.
This is Keelhaulrose, and I’m advocating for ‘Seasame Street for all’
(Yes, I’m aware it’s on PBS, and therefore already ‘for all’, but some people should be forced to watch until they’re singing the Elmo’s World theme in their sleep. And I’m not just talking about those of us with Pre-K children)
Well, at least we can (probably) safely say that both of that/those dog/s are/is Not. A. Lion.
As for the “Asstrailin'” one; we seem to be hung up on assuming it hails from Down Under. But the Tricolour is mentioned – perhaps we should see if it likes cheese. Then pose aggressively at the border of it’s territory, and see if it surrenders.
Windrose has asked me to let you all know that her PC is currently experiencing technical difficulties, and you will have to punch yourselves until she’s back in business.
Every time I see you post, it takes me a little less time to realize that your gravatar is a bird, and not a cyclops-platypus.
Better a cyclopedian platypus than a hungry Lurker.
Platypus barely gets bigger than 1 meter; lurker can go 3-4, and a hungry one drops on your head without warning.
Which is what you deserve for wandering the halls of Vhoorl without prodding the ceiling first (or releasing the bio-luminescent rodent familiars).
Or…Spaceballs is on! Nighty-night!
Ooh! Free punches.
Punch.
Punch, punch!
Punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch.
Now I have almost as many punches as Taco!
too long… didn’t read – though I’m sure there was something funny and sarcastic in BS’s post
Oh, Bianchi – so sorry to have to inform you. It seems you must not have read the disclaimer attached to the “Free Punch” offer. The free offer only applies to those who (1) have an ethnic food in their name, (2) have the letters ‘A’, ‘M’, and ‘T’ in their name, and (3) already have elebenty bazillion punches.
*This offer is void where prohibited by local law. Cash value is 1/20 cent. Do not pass “GO”. Sorry, this post is not a winner, please play again.
Hey, I found Waldo!
Since it is after midnight, CDT, it is sore tempting to Demi-Rose.
But, milk and rum with a pinch of cocoa in my evening seems to be keeping me from achieving sufficient arrage.
For those scoring along on the home-version, Manda and SJ tied for 10 adores.
Ta-ta, Tasmania!