wanna date ???
need a date??
If you are reading this ad, you are going to have one of two possible reactions. The first group of people reading this ad are going to look at it and say, “Wow. That’s… minimal. I doubt responding to this ad is a good idea.”
The second group will have seen Frankenhooker, and won’t be able to think of anything else.
Thanks for the link, Cate!
Oh, and happy Mr. T Party Day, everyone! Go out and pity some fools!
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It follows a natural progression.
Wanna date?
Need a date?
You mind if we dance with your dates?
HEY! That’s my name over there!!! I could have used seeing that yesterday. But it did make this day a whole hell of a lot better, too.
PUNCH ME!!!
Meredith, please go back to my last posts yesterday. 8)
Ohhhhhh, that’s an easy one. I wanna Mythos Punch. Thanks for holding it for me. Hope it didn’t melt in your purse.
Naw, it’s as fresh as a — a fresh mythos thing. That stays fresh. Ahem.
R’lyeh Punchity Punch Punch!
Mythos—the Freshmaker!
Myth Makers
Docter who?
I can’t tell if that’s a statement or a question.
Wanna date?
Need a date?
Mmmmmm, dates
I prefer figs.
Under propped boxes, of course.
Oh yes!
Date Bars with Pecans
Date Apple Bread
Date Muffins
Date Nut Cookies
Date Pinwheel Cookies II
Date Cookies
Date Turnover Cookies
***Date Balls***
Date pie balls?
Not. A. Date cookies made with apricots.
Gives a whole new meaning to “Date night”.
And now I must also look up Frankenhooker when I get home.
I pity the fool who placed this ad, and I pity the fool who responds like I d– I mean, like I expect some did. Gee. Look at the time. Must rush, ta!
I’m taking the liberty of re-writing the topic quote just for Taco:
Look whose evil now!
Yes, but can you place the reference?
Is this like a test? Because I don’t think I brought a #2 pencil with me today.
Is this from a musical? Evil Dead? I am totally relying on Google right now…
Yep. “Evil Dead, the Musical.”
I can cheat real good can’t I? *chuckle*
But those lyrics totally fit this post!
“Evil Dead, the Musical”
Like Sam Rami and Bruce Campbell need another way to extend the franchise . . .
Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do need a date, now that you mention it, but there are some important caveats:
1. You can’t be bread. Cake or pie are acceptable, and I have been known to date the occasional jelly doughnut.
2. You must be able to distinguish between various types of jungle cats. There will be a quiz.
3. Sorry, but I do not date meat-flavored cocktails.
Camille, the next time I try online dating, I will
stealborrow your criteria per above. I think I see where I’ve been going wrong up to this point.I think this should go right into the online dating profile. Anyone who understands it gets instant elebenty date points!
Also, anyone who understands it has skulked out this site, so you could be dating someone you “know”…
Also, anyone who understands it has skulked out this site, so you could be dating someone you “know”…
I still haven’t decided if that’s a plus or minus. Probably a plus. ‘Cause I’m here. Though I don’t know if I would want to date myself.
You can go blind doing that, Lo. Or get hairy palms, anyway.
I suggest a 4th criteria: Must have (depending on gender preference) either femaletraits 2 and 3 or a completely randomly placed rubber duck.
A quiz! Brilliant!
As an aside, I think I married a bear claw. But he’s definitely not bread or a cracker. I should have gone for a biscotti.
Aww, now, you’re just hurting Bacontini’s feelings.
You don’t KNOW that she was referring to Bacontini. I mean, she could have meant some OTHER meat-flavored cocktail.
What about Brat-hattan? She could have meant him!
Or perhaps Scrapple-colada!
Pork-olada!
Tuna-politan?
Bloody mackerel?
Arctic char-garita?
Shrimp cocktail? (Yes, a boring choice, but a choice I cannot consume)
You’re not missing much (I don’t like them).
Vodka Hamlet?
Spamhattan?
Tuna colada?
Oh, I like Vodka Hamlet. To drink, or not to drink?
Oh, I need a date! Pick me! Pick me! Of course, I’m really looking for June 27th, as my first choice, but only if it’s fresh. If not, something in the Septembers should do nicely…maybe the 15th?
I hate to be such a diva about my dates, but you did ask!
Well, there’s two I want at present.
11 June
and
13 June
(Arrgh, must get yummy flavor of dates rolled in almonds and pistache out of my head)
And, I’ll be happy to share 13 June with the rest of the Sookie fans out there, too.
I’ll take June 8th and September 25th, please.
I’d like October the 30th, 2010.
Buzzzzz … October 30th, 2010 is already taken. Try again.
Darn. Any more Oct. 30th, 2010’s in stock? You see, it’s very important that I have it.
Sorry Astro, October 30, 2010 is on backorder and the warehouse has informed me that the next batch isn’t due to arrive until November, pending HHNF returns the dolorian in one piece.
If you prefer, we can ship you an imported 30 October 2010 and throw in the 24 hour clock for the same price as the domestic model.
No, I’ll just ask my band director if he has extras. He’s probably the one who ordered them all. It’s 52nd annual Cary Band Day, you see. I believe it’s the largest high school sponsored marching band competition in the southeast US
I’ll take November 13th, 1999
and September 3rd, 2003
and the deLorean, thanks.
There are a few things that need fixin.
Well, I’m taking December 21, 2012.
I’m giving the *neener neener* to the Mayans.
Oh, I’d also like December 29th, 2010. I’d like to steal my sister’s 13th birthday away from her.
Now, be nice, your sister will only ever have the one bat mitzvah
And if it’s like any bat mitzvah I’ve ever been to, it’ll be punishment enough.
Hah! Nice to my sister, that’s a good one. Most sisters don’t break into rooms THROUGH WINDOWS for CHEWING GUM. I’m not even going to recount other things she’s done, because it’ll put me in a foul mood.
Hey, be a mensch, everybody noes the gum goes in the locking frezzer next to the swingset out by the zombie winter bag…
Oh, right, I forg…
I’m back! Man I missed you guys!
Welcome back Steve-OFD!!!
Hi Steve, welcome back! Where ya been?
Oh, uh, yeah… long time no see. I was just asking, uh, Windrose, yeah Windrose, about you. “Where’s that guy, Steve-O???” I said.
Glad to see your shining…uh…cab? Chassis?
Ditto.
So, where was the fire?
Well, to make a long story short, Thinkpads are not drop proof, just drop resistant. I got it fixed though, so I am back in the swing of things after about a 3 week hiatus. It’s like coming home….
… if home were an asylum…
—where the inmates were in charge….
— and llamas and flightless birds are warshipped as near deities…
B1
f5
you sank my warship!
Heh, that’s what she said…
oh, hi hon!
Missed you.
*doe eyes*
Careful, those have been getting me in trouble recently.
Doe eyes (whether proximal to swing sets or not) or Battleships?
Dough ships. They ain’t too seaworthy. Aircraft carriers cannot be bread.
Perhaps Sparky is a hermaphrodite…….
My mind went to Frankenhooker RIGHT AWAY!
Clearly one of the funniest lines in B-Movie history.
I’ve changed the “Mr. T Party” link above to point to the actual page about the party, not just the front page on Overthinking It.
Also for those interested:
A Brief History of Fool-Pitying: Origins of the Phrase “I Pity the Fool”
Ain’t no party like a Mr. T Party.
Much more awesome than the teabaggers’ parties.
As well as, “Ain’t no pity like Mr. T pity”.
I ain’t goin’ on no plane!
You’ll be fine. Just don’t have the fish.
Today’s Taco has been replaced by a disease ridden walking corpse. Let’s watch.
(Sorry folks, no snark from the Taco today. I came down with the flu last night and just can’t bring on the funny.)
Get to feeling better TM! Don’t worry, I’ve already posted something in your honor.
Your gremlin gave it to you, didn’t it? Those things are like adorable walking chemical warfare.
Apply hot peppers, it will help. Tortilla soup (Sopa seca de tortilla) is very apt for what ails you. So would a caldo de res. Or a nice bowl of chilli
Just no ‘sploding!
Maybe I could offer you some hot cold lozenges, Taco?
I mean, if only they existed.
And, in a bid to make you healthier by internet osmosis, I’n maving crispy tacos and an excellently hot chile con queso. [vibe~~~~~~~~]
**Sends Taco a cyber-bowl of Tortilla Soup from Torerro’s Mexican Restaurant. (Which makes some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever eaten.)**
It has chicken in it. It should help.
Ok, I’m still wrapping my head around either Tide Water or Appalachian “mexican” food.
But, only in the same sense that I link Texas and “crab cake.”
We have serious Mex in NYC, Capn. Made by actual Mexicans (of which there are many in my neighborhood). Location matters less than authentic technique and ingredients if they know what they’re about! And with that, I’m going to go ask for the mole that’s not on the menu … 🙂
(Note to the unfamiliar: that’s mole-ay, the sauce, not mole, the animal. I don’t know if humans, anywhere, eat them.)
Piedmont, Cap’n. Piedmont. We’re neither hicks nor beachbums. Just a crude mix of rednecks and relocated Yankees.
And Torerro’s is a restaurant run by a Mexican family. So, it’s actually real Mexican food. They hire Hispanic workers, and have really good food.
Ditto what Lola said. NY also has some of the best soul food and caribbean food I’ve ever had.
Now, no offense to the good Cap’n or any of my fellow Texans, but I came to Texas by way of California where Mexican meant fresh fish, lime, avacado, cilantro and soft corn tortillas. “Tex-Mex” gave me a bit of culture shock, everything was made of meat, beans and doused in something red. I’ve learned to ask “do the beans contain meat or lard?” before placing my order.
Thanks for all the soup wishes. Normally I do indeed treat my sickness with copious amounts of fresh peppers and foods containing such (I also use peppers as my disease defense, which works fairly well as I only get sick about once every 5-7 years). However, this particular strain of flu came with a rather nasty sore throat.
My first attempt at pepper application felt similar to attempting to swallow a handful of sharpened glass shards. Repeat attempts were not made.
My Grandmother always said — tea and Southern Comfort. You can’t questions Granny.
Actually, you can link right to the scene, thanks to the wonders of Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BtunhScwso
Sugar dates and figs!
Sugar dates and pistachios!
Sugar dates and sugar glider nuts!
Don’t look up now, but….
Bad dates and dead monkeys.
once upon a time in Shanghai.
I was hoping someone would go there.
Dear Sparkette,
hI. i waNna date. how abowt teh 40wAtT @ 8 on Caturday? i’Ll evin go w/ u 2 teh portapotty to skare awai snakz.
4eVer Urs,
Sparky
Deer Sparky,
May bee. Whose playing?
-Sparkette
@ Lola Chevy Chase reference FTW!
Damn mobile site. This goes elsewhere…
When I were a lass, I worked in a video store that had a copy of Frankenhooker. The box had some built-in chip dealy so that if you pressed a button on it, it played the “Wanna date?” clip. Over. And over. As each customer just had to try it. Wanna date? Wanna date? Wanna date?
I had repressed that memory very nicely, I thought.
And we’re thrilled to have brought it back up for you.
Now stop twitching.
Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
Cheryl “Rhode Island”: That’s a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.
Uh-oh. More self punching. 8/ This is an honor I will remember for as long as I can.
Punch me! Here’s my card!
Okay, settle down! Here it comes! Punchity Punch Punch!
Ow! That hurts so good. 8)
G’Night, Indio!
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/160
Wow… A Frankenhooker reference! This just made my year!
I wanna date, I need a date, but I just don’t think that I’m ever gonna love a date. Now don’t be sad, ’cause two out of three vague questions ain’t bad.