YSaC, Vol. 656: The armoire is a gas guzzler, though.
Hide a bed – $75
I have a nice little hide a bed couch if you are interested give me a call. $75 OBO
xxx-xxx-xxxx xxx -xxx-xxxx
On the one hand, it provides convenient storage for snacks and beer while watching TV. On the other, I wouldn’t want to sit in the middle; it looks like it’s sunken in a bit. And the bed portion looks a little small, although it looks like it comes with its own electric blanket.
Let’s keep trying. Maybe I don’t need a couch after all … I think I’m up for something a little bit more exciting. I want to feel the wind in my hair and the bugs on my face! I know, I want a scooter!
Scooter, 2007 150cc – $1500
2007 Diamo Retro Scooter.
280 miles
90 miles per gallon
Electric kick start
smooth quiet ride
like new conditionCash Only
Now that’s more like it! You can hear the smooth quiet ride from here. I’ll be the most comfortable person on the road. I haven’t figured out where the gas tank is, though. Or the starter. But once I get this thing going … VROOM!
It’s an all-Christina day on YSaC — thanks, Christina and Christina!
There are 47 items in these pictures, none of which can be seen.
In this series of craigslist posting we’re going to show your items how not to be seen.
I count 63. Wait, do we count the kittens as a group or individually?
Sarajean, the answer to your question is “bubblegum bathtub,” according to my Magicat 8-ball.
*shakes catulator/8-ball vigorously*
Mines…sparkly-princess basketball hoops…definitely.
You can shake your catulator vigorously? I have rub it gently, gently … and only then will it let me turn it over to read the prediction.
All I get is “ASK AGAIN LATER.”
Must be because I’m not a cat person.
I think mine likes the rough stuff.
I opened mine up to see how it works and can’t put it back together. I only have monkey wrenches; anyone have a CAT tool I can borrow?
If you don’t mind a quacking cat, I have some duck tape you could borrow.
Anyone else get distracted by the thought of Lola gently stroking her Magicat 8 Ball?
*(awkward cricket-filled pause)*
What about CJ violently choking his Magicat 8 Ball?
*(slightly longer awkward cricket-filled pause)*
I’m just gonna go sit in the corner for a bit.
*!!!SNORT!!!*
I wasn’t when I wrote that, but I am now! Thanks, Sarajean! 8)
*retreats to corner with flask, knowing she’ll never look at a Magic 8-Ball or the cat’s stomach the same way again*
PS: Interestingly, I thought CJ was female for some reason, though I cannot recall why.
CJ IS female!!
Why does this keep happening to me???
*sulks in corner, after having swiped Lola’s flask*
Thought so.
*passes fresh flask*
Sorry! 🙁
Oopsies. Sorry ’bout that, sweetie.
I get confused, too, when posters don’t have gender-specific names or avatars clearly showing their {FEMALETRAITS1}. *sigh* I mean, I’m either a water or air sign, depending on whether we’re talking Chinese or Western birth signs, yet my avvie is burning people. Although, that is a defining feature of my personality, so it’s kinda appropriate.
Hey cj, don’t feel bad. They made me a goddess!
And a goddess you will always be, Bianchi.
Bianchi: I thought that word was godless. Hehe..
I always thought of you as Apollo myself.
We’re all about gender confusion here at YSaC. Don’t take it personally. 🙂
Ya’ll are people?
I thought most posters here were cats (and other cute critters) or geometric patterns and that only about a third were people. Shows what I know.
I am not actually a people. I am a cartoon.
People? No, we are Soylent Green!
I am a Tibetan Spaniel. Or at least my avatar is.
I’m a peep-le.
Mr Russel Tynbee, of 34 Stoat Lane, Middlebury, NE6, is behind the settee.
Mr Tynbee, will you please stand up?
[explosion]
Mr Tynbee has forgotten the first rule of camouflage.
It’s like an ‘I SPY’ book: you have to find the bed. Jeez, it’s no fun if they to do all the work for you. And that scooter is definitely retro. I lost my virginity on a scooter like that and it was a smooth, fairly quiet ride.
The scooter or the sex?
(Your line is “both”.)
That was my lame-ass joke – I didn’t think I had to elucidate (annoying smiley emoticon here). Also, that’s why I added the modifier ‘fairly’ to the original “smooth quiet ride”.
You forget that I am rather dense. Not only am I immune to sarcasm, I’m also immune to subtlety.
I perfer being sledgehammered with a joke.
…With a joke?
Oh.
I guess I should go put this back, then.
*(Drags ten pound sledge back to tool shed)*
I’m so glad I’m not the only (or the first) one to go *there*, SJ.
Taco perfers lots of things (links, etc.) to be massive and sledgehammer-hefty.
He’s a total perfert.
I always pictured him as one of those deviated preverts.
Ah, so now we now the secret behind all the taco-splosions
–a great huge paisley scooter-mallet!!
Instead of being a scooter in cherry condition, it’s a potentially cherry-poppin’ scooter. And it looks like it’s a three-seater! Be the most popular kid in your class!
*A short tale of cherry-poppin’ ambitions gone for nought*
From down south there’s a guy we’ll call Cooder.
Told ladies they can ride on his scooter.
The gals would guffaw.
When scooter they saw.
So now he’s a solo ‘commuter’.
*also*
And Sparkette did announce with a squee.
To raise money for her next shopping spree.
A hide-a-bed,
Table that’s red.
For sale, you can take them for free.
Didn’t the other motorists (on their recliners and ottomans, no doubt) stare?
Electric kick start or not, moving it by your self would require you to scooter…….
Scooter? But I hardly know ‘er.
Sometimes it’s best that way………
OH, great avatar!
Y’orta get one, Innana.
She ahd one, ‘couple days ago.
I think taco ‘sploded it and hid it behind the divan, to the left of the ottom, but in front of the REAL!!!!WOOD!!! collection, with a candle stick in the study
Tell me how! I am computer illiterate!
And CapnMac, I am not a fractal, I am a quilt patch.
Innana, for an avatar, go to gravatar dot com and select an image you find apt and apply that to the email you use here.
There are more complete destructions in the sticky in the Forums, if labeled “How do I change my Avatar?”
The quilt pattern is a fractal image in that it is made up of incremental simple geometric shapes.
Oh, no more Christinas for me, thanks. I’m still full of Rachels. Seriously, if Uncle Mel doesn’t want you to sell his antique sofa, pretending it’s a scooter is still unethical.
I am not.a.nom!
Well, he did say he would “hide a bed.” I think it’s behind the curtains.
I think it’s in the oven. We can see there’s nothing in the fridge, so that’s the only logical* place, right?
*Yeah, I know logic is a relative term on YSAC.
Well, there’s obviously something in the oven Lola. A big honking steaming casserole of cuckoo.
There’s something in Lola’s oven??? Lola?!
O.o
NO! Not my oven! The one in the ad!
*gets flask, even though it isn’t yet lunchtime*
Whew! Thanks for clearing that up…and pass the flask, will ya? No sense any of us being sober this late in the day*
*and by “late” I mean past sunrise
Yeah, it’s past 5* somewhere where someone is reading this.
*am or pm, I’m not picky.
Maybe it’s like one of those “Where’s Waldo?” pictures.
Or the world’s worse Transformer, Mama Kitchor.
“Taste my scalding soapy water, Decepticon scum!”
See, that couch is perfect for me and my wife. I’m always hot and she’s always cold, even when we sit right next to each other. We would have to learn to sit on the other side of each other than we’ve been sitting since we got married, but to have a heated side for her and a chilled side for me is worth it. Running water in between us? That’s even better!
And when her yapping chihuahua finally drives you over the edge, right there in the middle you’ve got your handy trash compactor.
Would yesterday be too soon? And I don’t even own a chihuahua…my neighbors do, and chickens..they own chickens…babies still, but the mind reels with the impending cacauphony as they mature.
Aren’t you in Texas, CJ? ‘Cause a friend of mine in Austin is raising four chicks in her backyard … maybe I could warn her … oh, wait. No, wrong house. I know for certain that they don’t own a chihuahua. Carry on.
I’m closer to Dallas than Austin, and chickens are a recurring theme in my neighborhood. yee-haw
We live about a mile from a chicken ranch with (I don’t know how many) rows of chicken houses. We never hear ’em, but every now and again when the wind blows jest right, we sure do smell ’em. *aaccckkk* And remember, I’ve worked in the s*#t business for over 30 years.
*sotto voice* As we speak, Mr. Eyebrows has plans for a chicken pen/coop on the drawing board. Plus side = fresh eggs. Negative side = cackling.
Sigh.
The cackling is not the problem, it’s those damned roosters. A few 4AM crowing sessions and you begin to think fondly of burlap sacks and deep ponds. And they don’t just crow in the morning, it’s All.Day.Long.
4 AM?? My cross-street neighbors had a very confused rooster. He couldn’t tell time, nor could he tell day from night. He crowed at 11PM, 11AM, and most hours in between. They finally got rid of him, and replaced him with….lambs. Ever hear a lamb cry? Sounds JUST like a hysterical child. Can’t tell you how much fun that was at 2 in the morning.
“Well, Clarice? Have the lambs stopped screaming?”
We’ve heard numerous roosters and goats over the years around here. Since they don’t seem to stay around more than a few days, we’ve always suspected fights and cabrito were the end results.
When I lived in California, we had a goat that was a pet in the hard behind us. His favorite thing to do was to butt the fence and get our dog riled up. There were also peacocks a couple of streets away. Those things were loud.
Archie: years ago I had the same dream as Mr. Eyebrow’s – fresh eggs, contentedly clucking hens, occasional chicken dinners. DO NOT LET HIM DO IT. Do not let those nasty, stinky, parasite-infested feathered rats near your home. After six months, you will never want to eat an egg again.
[end of rant]
Ahhh, jg, I hear you. I shall endeavor to dissuade. However, the odds are against me. They will be confined to a pen and located in the outback. I will give it up for the chickens in exchange for NEVER.HAVING.GOATS.ON.THE.PROPERTY. We have pigs (the bacon is yummmmmmmmy) and the ever-lovin’ hay-burnin’ horse already.
Good luck, Archie. For what it’s worth, I fully agree with you about your goat/chicken trade-off. Goats are definitely lower on the livestock scale than chickens.
Ditto.
Raise pea and guinea fowl. Pea fowl are noisy, and bad as roosters. But, when they get that way, it just means it’s time for roasting.
Tell Mr Eyebrows that once he sees what a chicken will eat, he will never want to eat another egg ever again.
If that doesn’t get him, explain the term “cloaca” to him.
SJ, that reminds me of that old, old joke about the woman who goes to her grocer and asks “What’s good today?” The grocer says, “We have some very nice tongue available”. The woman says, “That’s disgusting, I would never eat something that came out of an animal’s mouth. I’ll take a dozen eggs.”
Archie, be sure to read “Hen and the Art Of Chicken Maintenance” by Martin Gurdon. Very entertaining and a realistic view of having a small flock in your yard.
I lived in Santa Ynez, CA, for a few months, and the house I was in was next to a huge cattle ranch. When the bulls were in rut, they made noises at night that were scary. All. Night. Long. Sleep could not be had. I would play Herb Alperts’ The Lonely Bull very loud to drown them out. 8)
Thanks, Windrose, I will take that advice. Mr. Eyebrows has had chickens and turkeys before, so he does have previous experience. But we do cherish our peace and quiet out here. I’m wondering, if we do get chickens, do you think I could find chicken muzzles on Etsy??? 🙂
This is what it sounds like,
When Lambs Cry!
Innana: dig if you will this picture by one of my cartooning pals.
Thanks, Isaac!
I dig it!
Is that a bowl of catfood? Uh, I think I know what your catulators want…. a hide-a-bed-couch-kitchen sink-mini fridge, and a sofa-scooter for that life of luxury.
Since it’s cash only, looks like you’ll have to exchange those tuna sammiches. awwhh. 🙁
Hey, is this one of those Smullyan islands where half the people are liars? The use of pictures sure makes it a lot easier to figure out which half.
This is in poor taste – I recognized this as furniture as a second language. “Hide a bed” is slang for “mini-kitchen set up” (with or without genrator)and “scooter” is a well-known term for that settee couchy old-timey sitting thingy. Obviously none of you speak French prevential.
*takes big sip of coffeeverystrong with extra scoop of snark*
Matt credit!
No credit. Cash only. I might be willing to consider trades for nude fence repair. OBO. Firm.
(In case you were wondering, I drink my extra snarky coffeeverystrong out of a smug.)
Is it a Llama-nun smug?
Have you heard about that new item wherein one can wrap onself in smug as one lies about one’s home? It’s called the Smuggie.
Ooooh I want a Not.a.Lion print Smuggie!!!
Elebenty +11 adores for you!!
There may be nothing left to say…..
Go grab the vodka… we’ll wait.
Well, I did not have tacos on Tuesday.
Saw a very nice recipe for tortillas con papas that was tempting, though.
Will be Wpastrami on Wonion bun with Wred Wonion and Wmuenster cheese Wednesday, though.
It’s CJ that wants Taco Tuesday… she may still be sobbing in the corner with Lola’s flask.. somebody should really go check on her.
Well, dang. CJ is up in Richardson or Plano or the like–taco joints around there on every day ending in “y”.
Here, and I thought I was helping the deprived and needy.
Giving alms to the rich; measure of my day, today. Makes me happy to have pastrami
*sweeps up the confetti, puts the chairs straight, turns out the lights* And that’s how it ended.
That scooter would be perfect for my morning commute – I would arrive at work relaxed and refreshed. Is it wired for cable?
You must telecommute, Camille. ‘Cause if you had to take that scooter out on the freeway…….
No freeways here – but I’m not sure how I would get that thing on the subway, particularly at rush hour.
Considering what I’ve seen carried on the subway, you could do it if you had enough people … and got on at the beginning of the line, when there was more room in the car.
I totally want to see pictures of this if you do it!
Get your divan runnin’
Head out on the highway…
Looking for prevential
Or whatever comes my way.
Heh! You guys were born to be wild……
Hope the girl see this, gonna make it happen,
Take the world (for free!) in a worm embrace…
You know, the first picture is underestimating the value and use of the item. It’s not only a hide a bed, it’s also a bath, too, above, with a nice shower fixture, and coil heating next to it for those chilly days. And it looks like it comes with a nice towel or bath mat. Obviously this person doesn’t know how to market items to their full capacity.
And I love the scooter in the next picture. I want it in my living room. Only I’m going to be a maverick and call it a “sofa,” or “couch,” or even a “davenport.”
Ooh, mavericky. 8) I like that idea.
A vehicle? In the living room? What will the neighbors say? A fine scooter like that should go on the front porch, where you can prop your feet up on the rail and drink beer when it’s hot out.
Bah. Vehicles in the living room are perfectly fine.
Well, in Daisy’s house, probably not a surprise. In Rose’s, question would be who rode it there.
In Hyacinth’s house? Heaven forfend, Unless it was the Earl of Sutcolmes
I call shenanigans!
No way does that 150cc scooter get 90mpg! Tops: around a linty 70mpg. This guy is sofa off by at least 20mpgs. I’m not sold on the paint color either. My grandma looks like she ordered that paint detailing. And I prefer my tires to be more on the Fat Boy side (but it is good to know that there are six of them!). I’m going to have trouble keeping the cats and the dog off the seat as well. I sure hope there’s a waterproof scooter cover for it—wonder if it’s made by the Snuggie® people.
What was that phone number again?
I once converted my Futon to biodiesel and got 120 mpg out of old vegetable oil. I’m sure you could find a mod that would squeeze 90 mpg out of a big scooter like that.
Oh look at you! Going all Willie Nelson with the bio-diesel!
I bet next you’re going to tell me that cowboys are frequently, secretly fond of each other, aren’t you?
🙂
Song reference FTW. “That’s why they take speed and drive pickups and shoot their big guns …”
“…make them be doctors and lawyers and llama-nuns.”
There can only be ONE Llama-nun!
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
They didn’t put one in the ad! However, the first one has two, perhaps they’ll share. The first is xxx-xxx-xxxx, and the second is xxx-xxx-xxxx.
I don’t know about Fat Boy tires, but I do like Fat Boy Slim.
I hope I don’t dial that number wrong and go all dyslex-y with the x-y. Hehe…
I’d love to get 70mpg. My old rocking chair only gets around 50mpg and won’t corner for beans. Half the time I’m off one rocker or the other.
Funny, I would have thought the cats would have talked you out of rockers….
*wink*
I find speed to definitely be a factor whenever anyone is found to be off his/her rocker.
..just sayin..
There’s no way in hell that scooter’s a 2007 model…1967, maybe…but 2007…no way.
youprobablti love verynice mustang for salen betre then scotter
notkickstart beause haveeletric problem
BUT nice rines pwoer windows
mas legs nd pretty cloth pattren
Huzza! I made it to the magic honor box!
And well deserved too, Innana. I love mysterious short stories. Congratulations………
Mystery? This was a romantic comedy!
I thought it was a philosophic discourse on man’s inhumanity towards man.
Nah, if it’s Joyce it’s either about religion, sex, or both.
I think religion and sex could each qualify as (wo)man’s inhumanity to (wo)man.
Huh. It looks like they took the pedals off that scooter, but it’s one of these, right?
(If you haven’t before seen the saga of the CouchBike, it’s well worth the read.)
As a kid, the couch was always our rocket ship. Sometimes it did double duty as a moon rover or a pretend car. But what I’ll miss most is that old ugly armchair. Ah nostalgia.
“The floor is made of lava!” was my favorite; Mom’s, not so much. Apparently shoeprints are hard to get out of upholstery.
Yeah, we had “alligators are on the floor!”
Mom loved it when I fell through that glass-top coffee table.
I would have preferred an alligator to her wrath.
My sister and I managed to break a wooden one in half; it was the cheap pressboard kind though. Not a happy day.
SJ – did you see yesterday’s XKCD?
SJ – On the “lava” note, did you see yesterday’s XKCD?
SJ, do you think we might have been separated at birth?
Did you ever pull out highboy drawers at staggered lengths to make stairs up to the top?
Well, it wasn’t a highboy…
Cool bed!
You mean a hot bed…
As in, “This couch was a hotbed of illicit (or at least illiterate) activity.”
hotbed of illiterate activity = most CL posts
Phone rings….Man Of The House Answers
MOTH: Yes?
Caller: Is the scooter you advertised running?
MOTH: Yes, of course.
Caller: Well then you better go lounge on it….[peels of child-like laughter]
Ok, nostalgic [corey] for the nice example of a one-piece kitchenette, this is an appliance with a unique (and tiny) niche in the market.
What a shame Sparky is like those [insert bucket of imprecations, invective, & expletives here] eBay types who blithely use the same add over and over again, with a one line throw-away near the bottom on how “item for sale may not be the one in the picture; but will be similar, I get many of the same thing all the time.”
Now, the juxtaposition of a kitchenette and a settee then suggests a classic British bed-sit; so, the Keeping Up Appearances comparisons become legion.
Hah! Mrs. Bucket, the lady of the house,inhabits a semi-detached suburban maisonette, suitable for professionals and lower gentry.
CapnMac, I am interested:
a) are you a captain?
b) are you British?
c) is that avatar your own photo?
d) is your snark your own?
Most of the time I’ve no clue what the Capn’s talking about, but I sure like to listen.
a) By title, not rank (O-5
b) Erse, not some base sassenach
c) Yes
d) All mine excepting that which is cited otherwise, or used in satirical vein or rememberance
Erse, yes…I can see the genetic commonality between you and Joyce.
Thanks for the replies, Capn. But, does the photoshop reference mean the face is yours,but the uniform is not? Alas!
But Capn… don’t forget the photoshop skills as well!
They is a photography major, uh huh.
Dunno, does not not look like they spent the $20 for the hi-res monkey pron pics.
But, perhaps i was too caught up in the pied a terre and was trying to get it off my sabot.
Nah, they just aimed out the other side of the camera.
Just be sure to remove your shoes and to mind the wallpaper.
Thanks Christina and Christina.
mudsy
out
this server done did me in….
Oh my god… its a Stoveinkerator! I thought that was just a how i met your mother joke…
Two virgins in one week! This is amazing! Innana, here is your crisp, new, Don’t Suck card, and your first Punchity Punch Punch! I hope you will show it off with pride.
G’Night Tibet!
Two honors in a row. I just got goose-pimply all over!!!
When I saw the couch, I instantly remembered the children’s book series about a dog, Amos, who sneaks out of the house while his owners are away and has adventures on his moving couch.
http://www.amazon.com/Amos-Story-Old-Dog-Couch/dp/0316780340
I’m holding out for a scooter with a matching
ottomansidecar.*Update*
1. Mr. Eyebrows finally did build that chicken coop and we have six 3-month old chickens pecking away right now.
2. I no longer have my darling Sunny Girl. I have been unable to ride for the past couple years, so I found a 4-H family with lots of kids who could use her. It’s on a big, beautiful ranch about 20 minutes north of here, and she absolutely loves her new home and all the attention she is getting.
3. We still do not have GOATS. Thankfully.
4. Bianchi is still a goddess. 🙂
*Over and out*
Kitchens are cleaned by fools like me,
But only Sparky can mistake a settee.
limelolly and, er. limelolly! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Poet-chefs!