YSaC, Vol. 640: Please sir, may I have some moor?
dinnins Rm table refriseer end table coffe tables kinsand queen size b (offer me any Price:)
kins and queen size beds 3pc livins Rm set misellanous i tems also auailasle dinnins Rm table refriseer end table coffe tables a must see plz call me for moer info at ###-###-####
“My Book Riport on Othello”
Othello was the moer of Venice. A moer is a pirson from far away. Like Australia. We call someone from Australia an auailasle. Othello had a grlfiend named Desdemona and a bff named Casio. He made watches.
Othello was a genral livins in Italy. Just like Misellanous was a genral in Italy too also. He worked for the kins and queen of Venice.
Othellow was supposed to go kill all the Turkey people but they all died, so instead they had a big feets. They had a big big dinnins, with refriseer beans and everything.
I don’t now what else hapnes in Othelo, becauz I didn’t read past act II.
Thanks for the post, Erin!
A must see them tables, one of the few i tems speeled correctly. I hope they are red or French Prudential.
‘Must see’ was the only thing I understood.
I think I’ll pass… this could be code for the ShamWow or some other infomercial stuff I don’t want.
Why do people suck at Craigslist?
“I prsonaly beliue that most US amercins are unable 2 do so because some pepl ovt ther in r cuntre don’t have clues, and that r cuntre shoud help the auailasle, everywhere such as . . . ”
I don’t miss the “Cougar Life” ads, but I’m not sure an ad with the slogan “A sprayed behind is a clean behind” is much of an improvement!
Wow. I just saw that ad, and it disturbs me on several levels. It makes me want to find a blog entitled You Suck at Advertising. I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be like a bede (or however you spell it) or is it for… couples’ use?
Astro, a “bede” is what you’ll find interred in Durham Cathedral. You want “bidet.”
Yea Isaac, but given that Dan has set the bar for today’s homework, bede would be an acceptable spelling and I would give Astro full marks for his report on “modirn bathroom fictures.”
We would also have accepted Bead-Eh, B-day, or Bee Dya.
Bee Dyas be upon you.
Am I the only one who thinks Happy B-Day is a bad thing to write in a Birthday card?
Yeah, i thought so…
OK – I have to admit that I clicked through the ad (purely to support YSaC financially) and came away twitching and mumbling to myself. My major issue? “Connects easily to your existing toilet plumbing” – Hey, that water is COLD! I don’t particularly want to spray icy water there.
I suppose one could install a garbage disposal and a warm water tap in the lavatory and accomplish much the same result.
I think I need some of the “special” tea…
*hands around mugs of tea* Today we feature rhumb, weskey, and cogknack. Naime yur pisin.
If you stick to weskey and rumb you won’t need to worry too much about pisin, that’s more of a beer problem.
And Windrose, I do hope that you punch yourself with the same vigor that you dole out to the rest of us 🙂
Well far better to toe the line with Rhum, than to risk all arrack.
Just make sure that the hot water tap is NOT one of those where the heat is set for tea/instant coffee. When I was young and encountered one of those for the first time, I thought it was a soap dispenser, and received boiling water for my efforts at cleanliness. (Hey, I did kill the germs, but not without sustaining burns and pain.)
christina, Me? Really? 8) PUNCH PUNCHPUNCITYPUNCH!Now we do the dance of joy!
Lola, ouch! Hope no one put butter on your burn. I’d place some sill pun about getting 180 degrees here but don’t want to add too much pain to the memory.
There was one of these recently on There, I Fixed it. I thought that it might have been marketed for rinsing cloth diapers (here I go with my cloth diaper obsession again). Hand-held bidets are actually pretty common in Finland, but they’re connected to the sink so that you can spray your behind with warm water.
You’re right Jackie. My sister, whilst not a tree-hugging druid*,
was a big fan of cloth nappies and used this contraption alot.
Sadly, my boys bums were too small to fit the “fitted cloth nappies” that I spent hundreds of dollars on when I was pregnant, and I have used disposables the whole time. I do suffer Greenie Guilt though.
*No, I’m not a redneck, I was trying to be slightly amusing…..
As if any redneck would use the word whilst…
Our local super-trashy dive bar actually had one of those toilet seats in the women’s room, at least until it was vandalized to death. I often invited out-of-town friends to that bar just to visit the “magic toilet” and hear them scream (“Why did you tell me to push the buttons?!?”)
It’s still a mystery why the trashiest bar in town had a $2200 toilet seat in its graffiti-covered, broken-door sketchy one-seater bathroom. Our guess is that it had something to do with money laundering.
And color me confuse-ed, can but see Circuit City advertised
Give it time (and a few refreshes). I’m seeing the ad for the first time now. Adding to the ick factor are the grotesque claymation-style caricatures of the couple in the toilet together. He (with douchey gelled hair, neanderthal brow, and ripped abs) is sporting a hotel towel. She (with eyes likewise too narrow-set, hand poised as if to catch and support her humungous costard) seems to be wearing a black one-piece bathing suit.
The message the ad sends: your bathroom can be a spa weekend for Gumby and his creepy swinger friends!
It’s worth seeing. Alas, it cannot be unseen.
[assumptive corey] I think that Cap’n is referring to the fact that Circuit City has gone out of bidness. [/assumptive corey]
[bonus corey] I believe though that it was only the brick and mortars that closed and the online store still exists, hence the advertisments. [/bonus corey]
christina, please, keep your bonus corei fantasies to yourself. 8)
Nope, still only Circuit City up top, and a single ad for coffee mugs.
But, I do have some stout firewall/ad protection on this tablet PC.
I’ve – ack! – just had the horror of beholding the ad. Not the worst ocular violation I’ve experienced, but still pretty bad. Why are they spraying the water onto the floor? That can’t be hygienic, can it? And what are those sprayers connected to? The water appears to be coming out of nowhere. 🙁
Man, their expressions are creepy.
I’m not sure what a refriseer is, but Firefox is suggesting that I mean refrigerator. What I want to know is (due to the recent rash of comma poaching) whether refriseer is a separate item in the list, or if it’s an adjective describing the end table?
Or maybe Rm table describes refriseer?
Refriseer = twice cooked prophet
guaca-martyr hombrede murciélago! ¿profeta refritos? pray it is not so
“offer me any Price:)”
Your life. This kind of spelling and punctuation TOTAL FAIL should be a capital crime. Why? Because the aneurysm I suffered attempting to parse “kinsand” could have killed me.
*takes meds for headache and goes back to bed, hoping to be alive when I wake up next*
Instead of going back to bed, I decided to go to church. I was on to help with the chalice. People who help with the chalice have to help finish the wine after. I don’t have the headache so much any more.*
*The ad? Still pissing me off. “Forgive me, Father, for hating them for their sins of ommission.”
j wewe wejbwefn’w ,wbejqhql;jvnerg eifbiee rge jnwenw nweiw, hweh’s and fbwie tweeb dweeb veoiv m epwen kw. Any price!!
There, I hope that helps clear up any confusion about this ad.
*Removes bottle of vodka from freezer and crawls behind couch, whimpering.*
Wonderin’ iam, that a kins bed could be either a single or a twin, asn thas big nuff fer the chillerns.
Yalls llowed t’take thait obssrvate-shun tuh the natyurl conklusions implicit tar.
[corey]had to google refrigerator end table, found a patent and a trendr reference, which suggested uder-hip cool tech. Which could suggest this is some form of “texting speech” where characters are flung at the screen and autocomplete tries to sort out the flurry of ascii, but, without benefit of any sentience beyond which expresso-addled programmers possess.
Offer any Price is an intriguing item as well. I’ll bet Sparky might balk at trading furniture for Vincent; but I have some minty Ray on vinyl . . .
Ok, “refriseer” bugging the stuffing from me. Google suggests refresher. But also locates that Sparky not only posted this in Janeville, but cut-n-pasted the identical ad into the Rockford CL. Maybe Sparky thinks prufe-reedin is about multiple-user-safe woodwind sounding fibers.
Thanks Cap’n – cleared up my posting, too
Y’know Cap’n, I’ve got enough ees’ Texuss an’ narthun’ Loosiana neighbors that my Yankee brain actually comprehended that on the first read through.
I wonder if any price includes stack of of dictionaries and a copy of The Elements of Style?
I’ll throw in a visit from the Grammar Police, including their SPU (Special Punctuation Unit). Gratis. (That’s Latin for “Free fa nuthin’,” as I heard it said in Philly.)
Easy, Lola. Dick Wolf’s ears just perked up.
I want residuals.
Foule Iago, culprit more knave than blight-ed
any man mother borne
Did then take puir seized Desdemona and to
wicked refriseer custody give her over
Kinins and Queens alike did openly weep, as did misellanous nobels
O foul Iago, wretched auailasle dinnins
Plight the fair and innocent Desdemona so fowl a foul deed done
To be done at any Price
Puir Vincent of ears twain; unsullied in refrain
or dutch impressionist vein,
Could only hope emoting might suffice
Against vile Iago’s scheme and plot agin honest Moer
But, undone for want of well-kept email
I nvir sawr a Moer
I neve sw th See-
Yit no I hw the Hedthr luks
N whot a Biwlo bee
Any price?
All I have to offer are my body and my dignity.
Deal?
Denny,
What about your soul?
Maybe Denny’s the guy who sold his soul on eBay.
Good point, Lola. Especially since I have no dignity left to sell.
If I could have sold my soul on eBay, it would have happened within the first 72 hours of the site going live.
i tems is an i pod app. for keeping track of a river that runs through London…
“Yep! Still running through London! Next update in 2 minutes.”
WIN. Although I personally prefer the device that runs iLiffey.
Hey, Windrose! You have to punch yourself today! Or, can you get Chutlulhulu to do it for you?
(Note: Not an endorsement of domestic violence.)
Windrose: (annoying sibling voice) stop punching yourself! stop punching yourself!
Lola, if I were more adept at these things, I would corey out and post a link to the earlier comment box where I did, in fact, punch myself. It’s right below your hot water anecdote. 8)
I’m pretty sure the seller is Jar Jar Binks:
Meesa day starten pitty okeyday witda brisky morning munchen. Den boom! Getten berry scared and starta sella deesa dinnins Rm table and refriseer and utta stuff! Meesa takes any moneys! Meesa cawazy!
Well done, Bianchi, so well done that I find myself irrationally annoyed now.
Who, meesa? Aagah! Dats da las ting meesa wanten. Meesa soo mooey mooey sorry.
Should I be concerned that I understand more of what Bianchi said than of the original ad?
I think his g key was broke. And we all know that s is an acceptable substitution. Looks so much like a g.
Really? Doeg it work the other way around too?
Wow, apparently, because I parged your pogt correctly!
garajean. Brilliant, GJ!
Good try. However, I can actually understand all of your book report; I cannot understand much of that CraigsList post.
You just made my day.
You know what’s really sad? I still get crap like this in my class. I generally have to resist the temptation to beat my students over their heads with the papers.
Hey, that’s better than using the textbooks.
And even worse than the spelling is the fact that they think their phone number consists of a series of 10 “#” signs. Mercy.
thank you lawd that i am not the parent of this unbelievably stupid bozo. speeeling duz count.
Let’s take up a collection to buy Sparky a lifetime supply of the letter g.
And a family pack of punctuation.
Poor Mrs Sparky. “I can’t find the ‘G’. I can’t find the “G!”
*flings doors, doors and more doors*
It’s no G, but it’ll still make you happy.
I wonder where this Sparky is now? Did he earn enough money to continue his studies and get his degree in Medieval Architecture?
camille, a lady of great circumspection.
was boxed in to escape some perplexion.
though she pondered the need
that the ads here did breed,
she could not roll a low enough score in ethics to join them. Punchity Punch Punch!
Whose idea was it to do these as rhymes, anyway? Oh, right, mine.
Good Morning Moer Info!