YSaC, Vol. 857: A spindle, a darkness, a fever, and a … bracelet?
Somewhat unsurprisingly, this ad disappeared before I could get to it, but luckily Steph copied the text and the picture included in the ad. (You can click on the picture for a bigger image.)
Bracelet My – $68
Fjssddiulzhxbkojzwxwyrnrgtmuwxtguk
The tiny (and uninteresting, other than the conflicting price and the fact that it describes a necklace) text says, “More than twenty-one diamonds increase in size along this heart of 14K white gold. A total of one-half carat of round diamonds. With a classic 18″ box chain and spring ring clasp. The current value of this necklace is $550.00 but I am selling it for $300.00 OBO.”
Also luckily for us, Steph appears to understand gibberish, and is capable of deciphering the alphabet porridge that precedes the ad:
“If you don’t understand their shorthand, I’ve helpfully provided a translation, pulled straight from my Unusual Text Shorthand to English Guide (not yet published):
For Jehovah’s Sake, Says Ditzy Dealer, I Understand Listing Zeal. Here, Xamine Bracelet’s Karats. Our Jewelry’s Zaftig, With Xtra Warmth. You Now Realize Glamour. Too Much Unless Wearing Xanadu’s Twinkling, Glittering Unreality! Karats!
Enjoy your brand new…bracelet my.”
Thanks, Steph!
It looks more like TacoMagic typed this with a mug.
No, Taco at least hits the space bar once in a while. And has punctuation.
She didn’t get to finish the sentence: “Bracelet my Ass! Dat’s a Neckless!”
D’aaaaawwwww!!!
Ahem, errr *gruff voice* good looking dog you have there.
Thanks!
Yoda’s selling his jewelry?
Don’t discriminate against the large-wristed. There’s a whole subset of people who buy necklaces to wear as bracelets. My, indeed!
“So that’d be the rule of wrist then. Can’t do much damage with a switch the size of your thumb, now.”
Edit: Forgot to add the outrageous Irish accent. Sorry!
Bracelet, this is not. Necklace, it is. More than 21 diamonds, it has. Buy it, you will! Beautiful, it– Fjssddiulzhxbkojzwxwyrnrgtmuwxtguk
*sniff*
Sneeze, I did.
Like this a necklace I have. 15 dollars it was.
Umm, yeah….
Anyone have a CL ad that makes SENSE?
Good job on all the Friday and Saturday snark. Catching up on what I missed is one of the things that makes being awake on Sunday mornings enjoyable.
In other news, the reason I didn’t check in last night is because I went to see HP7I, and it was teh awesomz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::is a pathetic HP fangirl::
Oh! Don’t tell me anything about it. I’m also a pathetic fangirl but I have to wait until Wednesday to see it.
Well, if you’ve read the book, there are obviously no surprises.
I was relatively undisappointed with this one. 3 and 6 were the movies that I thought made the transition worst, but those were the books with the most in them. The advantage of splitting 7 into 2 parts (random thought – splitting a soul into 7 parts) is that not as much has to be left out. Still there are some things that I thought could have been included in a line or 2 of dialogue, but I think most of the important stuff was in there. Of course, now I have to resist the urge to go back and reread the book to compare.
*joins in being a pathetic fangirl* SQUEEEEE!! A wonderful movie, it was.
I totally agree about #3. That was the book thay really hooked me into the series and I hated the movie. I give the last one a pass only because by now I’ve come to expect the movies to stray so I focused on the pretty effects and critiquing the younger actor’s growth (Malfoy in particular, I think Tom Felton really grew into that role well). The only reviews I read seem to indicate that this movie would confuse anyone who hasn’t read the books.
Apologies for turning YSaC into a HP discussion board.
You shouldn’t have to apologies for anything–HP is worthy of discussion anywhere, IMHO.
But speaking of books, has anyone read anything really interesting lately? I’ve realised that I have not been reading nearly enough, and would like to compile a to-read list. The only thing I have on it so far is Naomi Novik’s Tongues of Serpents.
Has anyone else noticed that the media keeps saying “Harry Potter and the Deadly Hollows”?
It’s Deathly. DEATHLY.
*Cough cough* Hallows *cough cough*
Laurel, have you checked out the book club thread in the fora?
Having a conversation with your doctor about HP, Bianchi?
Have not, but will do now! Thanks, AD!
I’m ashamed to say that I sometimes forget about the forums. On the other hand, if my English essays are ever going to get written, that’s probably a good thing.
You all were disappointed in 3? I thought that was one of the better ones. 4 was the disappointing one. And 6, of course. I think everyone agrees with me on that.
Obviously there’s no spoiling any of you can do for me re: HP7-1, but just as a note, I’m probably not going until early Dec., after the move. I don’t really have time until then. 🙁
I have very mixed emotions about HP 7.
Which is a tale of its own.
Was a time when I had a similarly literate and erudite amiga. Who gerously loaned me each of the HP books to read. Watched the previous six movies with that same person. Which spawned much debate on the book v movie that always is a worthy bit of interaction.
However, some time last December I became persona non grata. Do not know why.
So, I am faced with several dilemna here. One is that I’m certain I’ll disagree with where they split HP7 into 1/2 and 2/2 (I have definite opinions on where in the book such a split is clearly possible). This, on top of the whole, let’s chop this in two, we have too many parasites to feed to shut off the “franchise” with only the last one movie to make (yes, I know there are excellent movie-making reasons to do so–but, since none of those were invoked, this is about avarice, naked lust for lucre). To then add in now facing having to go alone. Which rubs wrong. Especially as there will be a theatre-full of annoying people (Murphy seems to prefer my movies that way of late).
Harumph. Enough to make a person want to become a Dementor.
This being my third 400 Error of the day not helping my mood, either.
(But, that may be self-inflicted, since I was watching the Ford 300 from Homestaed live on-line, that did not leave a lot of bandwidth for the throughput on the modem.)
Bridgete, I could spend days talking about what was wrong with the third movie. But in the interest of brevity I will say that the director errored in trying to add art film touches to a kid’s movie and sacrificing key plot points in the process.
***Ears perk up***
Naked lust?
Pretty boring day, so far.
I am going to pop some corn and see where this goes.
Speaking of the Book Club, I just got my copy of the book today, so I can read it over the holidays. Also picked up some Regency Holiday Romances, so I am set to be entertained through December.
I was thinking that it was a good sign that the book store was so crowded, but it was raining, so who knows. But I couldn’t stop chuckling over a collection of SparkNotes. I guess CliffsNotes are so last century.
Would that be twenty-two diamonds?
Good catch.
No, it means Sparky has taken the glass bauble to 22 baseball games.
It just means Sparky can’t count past 21. Heck, he probably can’t count that far up unless he’s naked.
I read this and said to myself, “why does he have to be nak…ooooooh.” I may need more coffee.
I only have one thing to say to this ad:
Zouflanefdlksdnsdnetoandndndkelgujendlshj! With bells on!
Well supercalafragilisticexpialadocious to you too!
Isn’t it supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?
The honest answer: I wouldn’t know because I hate Mary Poppins.
The fun answer: It’s really spelled superfragilecallusedmysticplaguedbyhalitosis.
*dramatic gasp*
Okay, I don’t care that much, it’s just that when I was a kid, it was one of my watch-a-brazillion-times-until-my-mother-told-me-she-was-sick-of-it movies.
I worked with him for a year or two…
Isn’t Fjssddiulzhxbkojzwxwyrnrgtmuwxtguk that volcano in Iceland?
No, that was named Bjork.
I thought that was an Icelandic fish concoction?
Oh? I thought it was an Iceland torture device.
Wasn’t I just talking about Icelandic food?
Fish soaked in lye.
That is all.
Gefilte fish. That’s a Jewish dish, but no less horrifying. But Iceland has its own share of gastronomic horrors. Just read up on hákarl. *shudder*
The fish is a lye!
The Nordic types do fish and lye. Lutefisk, for instance.
Bjork is the sound you make when throwing up the Icelandic fish concoction.
Wait, this is Edith from North Malden, and not the Eda, Njorl’s Saga?
Hey, now, gefilte fish is to fish what sausage is to meat. So don’t judge.
That’s meshugah. There is nothing in the meat world that compares to gefilte fish. I mean, maybe chitterlings.
Chitlin’s are treyf. Is that an accurate comparison?
Gefilte fish is ground up fish, matzah meal (equivalent to bread crumbs), and spices. How is that not like sausage? (Not that I’ve ever had sausage, but that’s what I hear.)
Y’know what? I think I’m confusing gefilte fish with lutefisk (mentioned above). I don’t know why. I’m going to blame this on bees. I had bees in my brain disrupting neural pathways.
Bees.
Now imagine eating bees.
You’re welcome.
AR, not even chicken or Turkey sausage? Sausage is something everyone should experience!*
This does bring up an interesting question for me, if you don’t mind another round of “ask a Jew”. What is the “official” stance on meat substitutes that emulate pork? My interest stems from my own belief that, as a vegetarian, I’m being somewhat hypocritical by eating vegetable-based products that very closely resemble the animal flesh that I don’t eat. Granted, I got over that hurdle pretty fast when I became diabetic and needed more protein.
*Sorry, the line was looking pretty comfortable over there.
I’ve had kosher hot dogs, which are probably just as bad, except that there’s no rat bits. Chicken, turkey, or even beef sausage would be fine if made with kosher meat, but I don’t know of anyone who makes it. Eastern European Jewish cuisine has something similar, called kishke. Kishke means intestine. It’s meat, flour/matzah meal/bread crumbs and specific spices stuffed into the cow’s intestine and cooked. These days, you can get the mean-and-spices part without the intestine. Hooray for plastic.
As far as pig-product substitutes, there’s no ethical problem with them, at least for most Jews I know. Bacon bits are kosher. Fake meat makes the whole milk/meat separation a lot easier – mostly because of the protein, as you said. It seems weird to me to have fake cheese on a burger or fake meat in my pasta with cheese, but as long as everything’s kosher, it’s not a problem.
Edit: Umm, /corey, I guess. That got long.
*blink blink*
Never eaten sausage? I’m a little surprised none is kosher (that you’ve found), but if you do find some that is, and it comes well-recommended, try it if you can. I’m not sure what else to compare it with, because it’s … sausage! And if it’s good, it can be quite lovely – it all depends on the seasoning and quality of meat. Kishke (which I’ve heard of) sounds pretty similar, so if you have had that, maybe you’re not missing all that much. 🙂
My husband informs me that he has had kosher sausage. As he recalls, though, it was veal, which I make a point of not eating for poor-baby-cow-kept-in-a-box-so-small-it-can’t-turn-around reasons.
I enjoy meat, but I can’t deal with veal, either (I’ve had it, and foie gras, exactly twice for both, and liked them both rather a lot but not enough to assuage the subsequent guilt). If that were the only option, I could see why you haven’t had it.
But I like my mean and spices. Guess I’m a masochist that way.
Oops, didn’t catch that. Somehow I’m not surprised that you, like the other dogs around here, are a masochist and not a sadist.
Your command is my wish.
Sparkles thought process:
I really want to be sold this fancy thing what Billy gave me to wears around me neck, what they call it? Oh yeah, a bracelet my. I should put up an ad on that ListCraig thingers but I’m not so great with the words. Oh, I know I’ll just copy all the words and the pick-a-ture that from the ad that Billy saw when he bawt me this here and I’ll just let the cat add a fancy word to the ad. That cat is so smarticles.
Adores for smarticles.
Smarticles- the feel a man gets after being hit in the crotch.
“Ow, that smarticles.”
Snarkitals. Smarticals. Whatever.
Not.Even.Close…
More like “HOLY $&!#, that really F%$#^&n HURTICLES!!!”
By using a combination of catmath and Craigslogic, I have determined that Sparky is selling a neck brace.
Make as much sense as anything else…
Which is to say, no sense at all.
Exactly.
A fancy neck brace at that! Do you think Paris Hilton would wear a diamond studded neck brace?
Uh drmk, I don’t know if it’s always been like this, or if it’s just my computer, but the links at the top of the page, near “You Suck at Craigslist: Exactly what it says on the tin” the links are out of alignment, I guess I could say. Anyone else seeing that?
It’s because I added the “Learn YSaC through Song” page, which makes the line of page links too long. I need to mess with it, but right now I’m frantically cleaning the house because my mother is arriving tonight for Thanksgiving. I need to clean the floor so that she can shake her head, make that tsk tsk tsk noise, and then clean the floor again.
It’s a time-honored family tradition — I knock myself out before her visit trying to please her, and she spends her entire visit telling me all the ways in which I’ve failed to do so. Hooray for alcoholidays!
Sounds like your Mom and NMN would get along perfectly.
🙂
Sounds like my in-laws. We go through the same thing whenever they visit here. Thankfully they don’t visit here that often — we go up north to visit them most of the time — so it’s not often a problem.
Awesome addition!
Or should I say, Awsum edition!
I leave my house slightly dirty so that my mother can feel self-righteous that she’s a better housekeeper than I am. Plus, then my floor gets mopped and I didn’t have to do it. I figure I’m now immune to motherly guilt.
“Mom, I’m so glad you’re here. No one can get this clean.” Works every time.
Our version of it is that I get a haircut 2 days before seeing my mother, so that she can tut and say “You need a haircut.” Then she gets a brush or comb and attempts to ‘tidy’ my hair.
I’m 43.
Drmk, I live on the opposite side of the country from my parents for similar reasons. Mostly I go see them, which is disappointing enough for them; I don’t have to host, plus they do most of the cooking (not very disappointing for me at all!), so criticism about my home is minimal.
Alcoholiday is exactly the right word … particularly as sometime since I lived there, my parents became the sort of people who keep liquor in the house and (this is the important bit) encourage me to have it. Everyone relaxes about stuff, and the flask gets a vacation, too. 8)
Bcak when I was employed, I’d always bring a couple 1.5l bottles of a decent red so that the 10-15 would leave a couple glasses for me and my dad after having cooked all day.
I’d usually bring Port, too, so we could have a civilized deonoument after the dessert with some cheese while the sisters all yelled at each other about who cleaned up the most.
I want a nice soft Stilton, with a slice of asian pear, and some roasted walnuts now. <sigh> (I may not be Joe, but I do know how to live)
When my brother got married for the first time, many moons ago, my soon to be sister-in-law cleaned their little apartment to an absolute shine. The wedding was family only and the reception to be at the apartment. The day before the event, my mother, bless her heart, volunteered to help Maureen clean the apartment. Mom was the only one who could see anything to clean. I don’t think Maureen ever forgave her for that. Sigh.
As to holidays, had to flip a coin, go visit Mom, or go visit Dad and my Step-mom. For many years I decided to go to Disneyland instead. Mike’s family didn’t celebrate anything, so that was never an issue.
My lovely friends at YSaC, my heart breaks for anyone who has had painful issues with their parents growing up and into adulthood. Many of my friends have had the same experiences, and my stepchildren’s mother is an ongoing colossal headache. I must, however, put forth another view. My reality, as it were.
I was adopted as a baby and have felt all my life that in the parental lottery, I hit the jackpot. I lost Mama Eyebrows over four years ago. She was a beautiful, graceful and classy woman, and her life reflected the epitome of motherhood. I miss her every.single.day. Papa Eyebrows has lived his life as a gentleman, and I have been blessed that he was the man who taught me what a man should be. He and Mama Eyebrows were married over 60 years and now he and my stepmom have enjoyed three years together. That he has had the good fortune to marry two wonderful women in his lifetime is a testament to his character.
One of the greatest gifts my parents ever gave me was their ability to keep their mouths shut. They always expressed their love for me and their faith in whatever path I chose to do in my life. When I asked for their advice, it was given in a direct but non-judgmental way. Everyday, as a parent, I understand more and more how empowering that is to a child, and it is something I work hard at emulating.
This is by no means a matt. It is me opening my heart and sharing how lucky I have been and how thankful I am, especially this time of year. Mr. Eyebrows and I will have a full house this week and will enjoy every minute surrounded by all our children and our beautiful baby granddaughter. Our one dark cloud will be that Papa Eyebrows won’t be able to join us. He has been a courageous soldier throughout his life, as a 27-year veteran of two wars, as part of the technology vision that birthed the Silicon Valley, and now as a 90 year old man battling cancer with grace and dignity.
It is my great good fortune that I am part of such a wonderful family.
In college once, I spent DAYS cleaning my (rental) apartment because both my mother and my grandmother were visiting. I even scrubbed the kitchen floor grout with a toothbrush. The place was spotless.
When my mother walked in, the first thing she did was to look around and then hiss at me, “You knew your grandmother was coming. You could have cleaned!”
Drmk, the last time my parents visited my cat had just used his box and the radiator came on (“enhancing” the smell), so it was uncharacteristically odiferous. My mother walked in and said, “Well, it isn’t quite like cat …”
*clutches head*
In other words, “Your home almost smells of cat piss. But not quite. But I’m going to say something anyway. Because I’m your mother, and I can.”
I think that unless they are new or newly remodeled, it is characteristic of apartments to look not-clean, even if you’ve just scrubbed them within an inch of all of your lives. Unlike most of the other units in my building at that time, mine was neither remodeled, nor (and this is required by law in this city, though I didn’t know it at the time) painted. It’s hard to make it look clean, which is why I don’t always bother to do a full job (parental visit – yes!).
*refills and passes flask*
That bracelet–My god–it’s for a giant
Don’t you mean:
That, Bracelet. My, God, it’s. For, a, giant!
!,!,!,!*
*Unecessary exclamation, check!
!!!
I’m a little hyper, sorry.
Channeling Shatner, perhaps?
It’s…. (music)
*clears throat*
Ahem
*and in the voice of William Strode*
These veines are nature’s nett,
These cords by art are sett.
If love himselfe flye here,
Love is intangled here.
Loe! on my neck this twist I bind,
For to hang him that steales my mynde:
Unless hee hang alive in chaynes
I hang and dye in lingring paynes.
Theis threads enjoy a double grace,
Both by the gemme and by the place
I *still* love Lola
Um, hi. *blush* You’re allowed to say other stuff, too. Please do.
YSaC – You Stalk at Craigslist?
There’s a nagging thought in the back of my head that this is a sock puppet. Dmrk, could we get an official confirmation on my theory?
To be fair though, we all love you, Lola, and I love Lola has posted a few relevant to the post comments before.
Of course we all love Lola. But yes, that’s probably a sock. Perhaps a tertiary Taco? A more forward, slightly creepy Bacontini who’s here for de one particular lady. It all makes sense, because I’m sure this one would like to…
*sunglasses*
…meat for drinks.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
ILL is also J-Dog, if I understand/recall correctly. If J-Dog is someone else here as well, then I do not know who.
Minefield, I’m going to go away and hope that pun doesn’t make me cry. 8)
ILL is not a sockpuppet of a regular, and is not coming from the same IP address as J-Dog. They have also made non-Lola related comments occasionally.
ILL, honey, you do realize that the picture Lola is using is Christina Hendricks, and not a self-portrait, right? You’re welcome to participate on the site, but we’d all appreciate it if you’d stop freaking out the regulars and stop feeding the penguins.
Oh, so I’m not the only one freaked out by that? That’s a relief.
Oh, and can I change my name to I_Love_Christina_Hendricks?
I don’t actually want to, but…
Shoulder-knees!!
Edit: I do not actually know who Christina Hendricks is, anyone care to fill me in?
NMN, she’s one of the actresses on Mad Men, on which she plays Joan, the office manager. She’s striking not only because of her red hair, but also for her figure, in which shoulder knees feature prominently.
Google Images should help you learn more. 8)
I actually prefer her for her recurring character in “Firefly”. NMN, I think you were probably eight when that came out. You should go get the series, if you haven’t already done so. I have referred to it, and I know many others have also.
OH! It’s Saffron! I knew there was something familiar about her….
So if I’ve got this right, this is worth $550 if it’s a necklace (or possibly $300) but $68 if it’s a bracelet.
*fetches catulator* Now then, that’s 550 minus 300, plus the number you first thought of, multiplied by a week next Tuesday. Add the 8 bags of well rotted horse manure I promised you at 30 pence a bag, take away the number of months since you last visited Great-Aunt Matilda (or was it Maud?), and divide by the 68.
Fine, if it’s a bracelet, I’ll take it off your hands for £297, that’s $ numpty-twelve allowing for the current exchange rate. Just let me have the money in used notes and we’ll say no more about it.
I used these notes for an old college course. Interested in Intro to Bio Sci from 1991, rw?
Always. But just wondering if I may have a previously unsuspected talent for Misapplied Mathematics.
I’m getting the feeling that the Sparkle household hit on some hard times and Sparky told Sparkette that she’d have to sell that purty jewelry of hers. This is her half-arsed attempt to do so without actually having to part with her shiny thing.
Re: HP3. I saw it in theaters without having read any of the books and having caught only bits of the previous two movies. The visual style and tone, and an engaging story made me reconsider the series as a whole. That movie made me stop dismissing HP as kids’ fodder and I read all 3 (then) books and rewatched the movies. I love the books and I love the movies, seperately (I admit looking forward to reading the book after each movie and enjoying the filled-in plot points like DVD extras). I was there at 1203am Friday for DH Pt1 🙂 (haven’t read 7 yet as I didn’t want to be dissapointed if the movie didn’t live up to the final book – no spoilers, please!)
Coming at it from that side, what are your thoughts on the movies vs. the books? I know of very few people who read the books first who were as happy with the movies.
Sorry that Linnee will never know that her snark made it into the box. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Spindrift!