YSaC, Vol. 619: Mater? That you?
If ever there was a post that cried out for the “unclear on the concept” tag, it’s this one:
two 1954 ford trucks – $1500
i have two 1954 ford trucks ,these trucks make beatiful trucks finished ,i have cab off of one ready to put cab corners in ,also have both 6 cyl engines ,cond unknown ,have 1987 ford crown vic with 5.0 that goes also,selling due to back problems.any questions please call ###-###-####
That’s right folks… that’s a PICTURE of a Craigslist ad, posted right here in an ad on Craigslist.
I’ve come up with several explanations for why on earth this exists, but each one is so much stupider than the last that I can’t even bring myself to articulate them. And why would back problems force you to sell a CAR? Have you been carrying it around?!? Because that’s really unclear on the concept.
Thanks for the link, Andrew!
Former strongman with the circus, maybe? After all, it is a pickup truck.
This is one time when I really wish you’d left the number in, because I have LOTS of questions.
I’d start with inquiring about whether proper punctuation instruction was ever included in their education …
You’re assuming this person had an education.
Read the pause comma combo as a dramatic pause/line break. Now imagine some bongos and finger snapping in the background. Oh sure, it’s no “Red Table.” But give Sparky a break, this is his first time.
He states it’s beatiful. I think he meant beatnikiful.
I can dig it, Daddy-o.
The trucks are from the ’50s…
I hadn’t even noticed ‘beatiful’ on the first read. How serendipitous!
Ford truck, bad luck
beat car
won’t go far
bad back: daddy needs money for crack
Dig it!
*snaps for christina*
Now we know what kind of people use those ads for “Craigslist posters”
“Do you need an ad on Craigslist but don’t know how to set it up? I CAN DO IT FOR YOU!!! All you need to do is make an ad up, send it to me, and then I’LL post it for you!!! Right now discounted to 50$!!!! E-mail me your ad TODAY!!!”
And in a few short weeks, THIS is what you get! It’s BEEEEAAAUUUUTIFUL!
I think you mean BEATIFUL, Meredith.
(Which is how one feels after getting knocked in the gob by Windrose’s Holy Brassy Knucks.)
How funny/sad/awesome would it be if that was not actually a picture but one that is a “look-a-like”, similar to yesterday’s ad? You show up to look at some mildly rusted car only to find one that appears infected with the auto equivalent of necrotizing fasciitis.
If it is his car by chance, how did the picture get there? Is it possible to access CraigsList from The Twilight Zone?
That would actually go a long way towards explaining some of these.
“If it is his car by chance, how did the picture get there? Is it possible to access CraigsList from The Twilight Zone?
That would actually go a long way towards explaining some of these.”
Sarajean, I think that by accessing the Cat Math portal, we may be able to prove your theory.
*hands Lola her catulator* Here, maybe you can get it to work. I’ve had no luck since it puked up all the kibbles…
CJ, I think you missed the bit lately where I confessed to being math-of-all-kinds-challenged.
I’m good at theories; just don’t ask me to show my work.
*pokes at catulator, timidly*
Hmmm, it says … “Yes, we have no bananas.”
You are traveling through another dimension: a dimension not only of lions and bees, but of unblublers. Journey into an appalling land whose inhabitants know neither spelling nor arithmetic. That’s the sign post up ahead: your next stop… The Craigslist Zone!
Isaac, A big WIN to you for that TwilightZone comment. It should be on a banner ad for this website.
I feel another mug coming on……..
And why not? I could use something to sit on the counter beside my Llamanun/prayer mug.
I third this motion!
This is Uhmercuh, we vote, we win.
Like the one I forwarded on to drmk the other day: “The picture is not my cat, but it’s the exact same cat.”
uhhhhh, ooookay. So it’s NOT this cat, but it IS this EXACT SAME cat???? makes sense to me.
My mother is a crazy e-bayer, and she thinks people who steal other people’s pictures should be shot. Of course, she did it all the time till they caught and threatened to ban her.
I sent one in where the poster had not only stolen the image of the lard mold she was selling from eBay, but included the listing number of the auction for price comparison purposes.Now that’s classy.
I’m going to start up a band just for the joy of naming it Lard Mold.
Well clearly he has a time machine of course. What other explanation is there?
ooops, wrong avatar again. although given my post maybe it was the right one?
Given that this is the second time you’ve done that, I think your subconcious is doing it on purpose 🙂
you don’t think it’s the hangover then? that was my first thought. *chuckle*
Never apologise for DT. The more of him around, the betterer.
Hi Jen, where’ve you been lately? Did you not read yesterdays? Or was it the day before? Anyway we had lots of fun discussing the merits of various men.
I was moving house! No snark for Jen at weekends. 🙁 Well, except for loudly ridiculing 2012 with my new flatmates.
Have just caught up on the fangirl squeeing I missed – DT, Barrowman (who NPH tried to overtake in Sexiest Gay Man poll using twitter, ooooh) and Fillion… I needed a wee lie down after all that.
Hottest thing ever seen = Barrowman + James Marsters. It’s in Torchwood, season 2 I believe. Omgomgomgomgomg… *faints*
*carefully pops a pillow under Jen’s head* There, there love, don’t hurt yourself. I think a few of us had to go for cold showers after that lot.
And yes it was season 2 of Torchwood. and now you’ve got me thinking of James Marsters too, well that’s tomorrows blog post sorted then I guess.
Uhm, obviously his bad back is keeping him from finishing his restoration project. The trucks are not operational and need to be fixed and reassembled.
Stop that logic and reasoning right now! Just kidding, welcome! Come on in, the snark is fine.
what is that avatar Steve? It looks rather like a Not.A.Lion coloured pig to me.
That is the most epic bacon you have every seen in your life. It is a pork product that you may eat, or it may eat you. Half Not.A.Lion, half swine.
*I really just stumbled across it on the internet.
Why can’t I see my new avatar?
Clear your cache. If that doesn’t work, jiggle the handle.
It worked! Thanks.
You only get to see your avatar when you’re deemed worthy by the drmk.
Jiggling your cache usually does work, as Bianchi said.
wait…where’s my avatar?
True Avatar……..
No – I am true Avatar…..
Edit: I tried but failed to do something – I suck at YSaC…..
Love the new user name, corey.
This is YSaC for being 1+1+1 = 2 and 2 p/u + 1 sedan = 2 trucks
The bad back is about how, after you pay, you get no help loading any of this, to include a pair of dismounted engines, a truck cab, and the crown vic.
Stop questioning to bossfellas chop-chop quick or I’ll become ursine in my irritation and osteomyclogical discomfort and lose invective in pirate-cant. Arrgh!
He say, “one and one and one is three”.
He got muddy water.
He one mojo filter.
DA shell is definitely not DA minty.
Perfectly reasonable. I assume the bad back has also prevented him from taking a picture of the truck itself, rather than a picture of the already existing ad for the truck?
Well sure it does! See, the truck’s all hidden behind these drewrs he has, which have five drores, but all four of them are at an angle, making getting a proper picture of the truck real hard. Peggy-Sue said he should move the truck out of the lounge, but she’s just cross it’s dripping oil all over her 7×5 foot square lion rug with extra stripes.
Mater and Lightning had a falling out after Lightning’s head got all blowed up when he won the Piston Cup.
Mater, in a fit of despair, fell in with a former wrestler named Bubba LeDeoux. All was going well, until one day when Bubba ambushed Mater and began taking his cab off. Fearing the worst, Mater ran for his life…but alas, our hero only made it as far as the field you see in the picture before running out of gas.
Bubba, after chasing Mater for the better part of a quarter mile in strappy high-heel pumps, threw his back out and decided to hell with it all.
This is the result.
I can’t figure out why you’re referring to your dear old mater with the masculine pronoun.
Clearly a real story in your childhood somewhere.
He did WHAT in a cup?!
The last thing I need is another Crown Vic with a back problem.
Official bidniss because the office closes early on Sundays: Punches going out to Bianchi Sound, Isaac, and christina. Well done, class!
March Birthdays in case you missed them: On the 24th, Ms. Dolfinn (wish she’d drop in again!), on the 23rd, our lovely and vivacious Develish1, and on the 26th, Caro (see parenthesis after Ms. D.).
Thank you all for playing! Coming up in April, a certain commenter with sexy fingers! And our favorite YSaC artist!
Oh no! Not the brass knuckles! 🙂
I’m happy to get my punch in whatever way I can, but I totally didn’t deserve that one.
I totally left out “Baa Ram Ewe,” for example.
Whatever way you can, eh Isaac? I was just wondering why those “Please punch me!” listings on Vermont’s Craigslist seemed suspiciously well written.
Depressy take Isaac’s punch. Nom nom nom!
erm, mines the 29th actually WindRose, but thanks for the description. 🙂
Now how did I screw that up? 8) At least that means I didn’t miss it, and can now scream Happy Birthday tomorrow.
Thanks for the punch. Do I have enough for the stuffed pony yet?
Cab Corners is a small, rural village in Tennessee, where old Ford pickups go to die. But sometimes, the Restoration Elves come and take a truck away in the night. The truck gets to spend a few hours with C. Victoria, and then is whisked into the Garage of Eternal Projects. And if it has been an especially good truck, it will enter a gentle slumber, until the day when its new engine is started. *sniff* At least, that’s what they tell me in Cab Corners.
He obviously has to sell them because his back problems are forcing him to leave the restoration project unfinished. Snark can be averted if you read carefully.
Corey on, dude.
The point is, my friend, that we shouldn’t have to read carefully. It should be clear the first time. Hence the designation “suck.”
Thank you for playing, and please do come again!
PS: Snark is the whole point.
Movie pitch time:
Lola’s Excellent Adventure
Dev and The Doctor show up in a time machine and wisk Lola off to the (not so) distant future, where blue-hooded, llama-like humanoids stare at her in awe.
“Well say something profound, dude,” says Dev.
Lola steps nervously forward.
“Um…Be snarky to each other…and Corey on dude!”
oooh, I think that might just warrant a + elebenty christina.
To further Corifiy, those older trucks aren’t always the most comfortable to sit in.
“Snark can be averted” I’m at a loss, here. I would need a dang good reason to avert my snark. I mean, I wouldn’t even be here if there was no need to snark at every opportunity. Venting my snark on YSaC allows me to blend in with the rest of the population without doing anyone a serious injury.
I have to be honest… you’re not doing a very good job. I mean, I can see you sticking out like a sore thumb, all the way through my computer. I’m not sure any amount of snark venting will allow you to fully integrate with society. You’re a whirling dervish in a sea of Puritans.
Ok, checked the listing math twice.
Here’s what you get, in prevention of further dorsal agonies:
One truck, presumably originally built by Ford, with its 6-cylinder engine removed
One truck, also presumed to be a Ford, but with cab and engine removed.
And, you get, as a bonus, a Crown Vic sedan to take as well.
So, you’ll need about 60′ of trailer to cart this all away, plus engines of unknown condition (we will presume this means mechanical and not quantum flux state–engine work on items that only randomly inhabit our three-dimensional plane-state, could cause back injury {and Scot’s accent}).
Flux state conditions are very likely, as Sparky states these trucks restore beatifically, allowing the rest of us to speculate on whether this only refers to the phoenix-like resurrection of the vehicles, or, if, in fact, the restored vehicles confer blessings and miracles nearby.
Which would be handy, getting three vehicles, a loose truck cab and two engines on a single 22′ trailer . . .
Now, as a guess, Sparky has an engine hoist–but can’t help you load, what with his angina dorsalis.
But, my pains and aches are making me cranky–if not to the point of making inane CL ads. To that end, I shall recede, unshaven and agonal; my snark dangerous for having too many thorns in Not.A.Lion paws.
Adieu.
Nah, it’s Tennessee; yer thinkin’ like a Yankee.
But a tow bar on the back of the Crown Vic. Hitch up the nekkid frame. Use the engine hoist to position one engine in place, use a chain to lock it in place. Use the bobcat to get the cab set in place, tack weld it down. No boxes in the picture, one can assume they are gone.
Drop the engine back into the second truck, don’t bother tying it down, the doghouse will hold it in. If its got a box, use the comealong to pull the rear up on to the first, else pull up the front end. Load the other dog house into the box, or just tie it down to the frame.
Stay off the freeway. Travel between 5am and 2pm. Trailer? Phhhh. $1500 bucks some chains, and yer good to go.
Nah, it’s Tennessee; yer thinkin’ like a Yankee.
Sirrah, the length of our association does not suggest license for such imprecation, and would be good cause to invite indignation expressed physically.
‘Sides; gonna be that least one the frames is missing, or has a busted, axle.
Meanin’ like as not, Sparky won’t have a working bobcat or forklift, an’ his weldin’ bottles is dry–so stackin’ the p/u by workin’ frames offin the Vic’s trunk ain’ like t’work, neither.
So, it’s gon’ be frame of cabless truck first, then the cabbed one atop that, cab in the bed of that one, all stacked on a trailer, with the crown vic towbarred to the trailer. (Has’ta, the Crown Vic has back problems, prob’ly from bein’ rear-end’d while beint towed.)
All afer’in Sparky gripes about my trying to wear him down from his $1500 price, and he’s ’bout t’be late to the doctors, an’ ain’t no help t’all iffin he’s just back, three good hours t’daylight late.
Been to that would-be Sanford-n-Son one too many times–an’at fer cars; you ain’t liv’t ’till y’tried it with bayou boatyards.
Kind’t thing drive a person t’drink; long as they brought they own ride, got gaso’ene an all–an’ never oncet wit’ the common courtesy to drive a drunk fella home after, neither.
a, yup. Spot on.
But, iffn the Crown Vic don’t move under its own pow’r an any axles is froze, then my large & a haf stays home.
Sides, Thing Two be followin’ in the dually — gotta git there somehow.
“Thing Two be followin’ in the dually — gotta git there somehow.”
Taco, you let your CHILD ride with these automotively-obsessed, quaintly-accented, racism-adjacent gentlemen??? I am _shocked_.
I hate to ask, but is this poster near me? That is a pretty straight ’54 and would look great restored.
It’s from Tennessee.
Whoa! I was just guessing! LOL
It looks like a cat eating a turnip with a lampshade on it’s head to me!
what does?
That cat over there, in the garden. No not the one by the carrots, the one in the turnip patch, see’em? The other one, with the lampshade on his head.
oh……right……..erm………..ok.
Tea anyone?
I like cheesecake.
Me too!
Especially if it’s painted by Gil Elvgren!
I prefer Vargas, myself, Isaac, but to each their own.
Source of random sentence. Anyone?… Anyone?,,,
OK, here you go.
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4121#comment-30657
Oh, Bianchi … minus 3 Ikes.
Let me fix that punctuation problem for you.
It looks like a cat eating a turnip with a lampshade on. It’s Head to me!
There. That’s better. You were referring to the Monkees movie, right?
Source of random sentence. Anyone?… Anyone?…
OK, here you go.
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4121#comment-30657
He tried to take a picture of his trucks but they were behind his monitor…
No, clearly it’s a failed attempt to satirize the obsession of the people with virtual worlds such as SecondLife.
Or he’s off his rocker and lent his brain to Bubba Jim down the street.
I don’t understand the point of taking a picture of another and posting it. When the buyer drops buy and says, “Where’s my crappy old truck” what does Sparky say? “Sorry I don’t have it can I still have the money?”
Yes. That is exactly what happens.
You see, there’s a disease you’re liable to catch if you frequent Craigslist enough, in which the infected believes that they can receive anything they desire all for the low, low price of nothing. No matter how much you try to convince the infected that they are “being ridiculous” or “an idiot”, they will continue to ask for these things. As we’ve seen here, some things the infected believe they will get include money, sexual favours, tattoos, the career of their dreams, or a new home/car.
There is no known cure.
However, I have something that can prevent this from happening to you! It’s this neat mask, that you wear over your face and arms. It allows you to keep all the smart in, without catching any nasty Craigslistian infections. I’ll sell it to you for $400, OBO.
oooh, do they come in a range of colours?
What if you show up with just a picture of the money?
That wouldn’t work, however if you emailed him a picture of a picture of the money you would be set!
Maybe it’s just me, but I can see where he’s coming from. I’m restoring a ’56 F-100 with my father, and if you have a bad back it will most certainly prevent you from doing many things (lifting heavy objects, sanding, kneeling, etc.).
Yes ,that may be true ,but the issue with this beatiful mess of a listing has nothing to do with back problems ,you see what i am saying?
I agree. Having restored several vehicles in my time, I can say that it is a hobby that is quite hard on your back. However, that is the least of the issues with this ad. The poor spelling, grammar and punctuation, coupled with the screen shot of another ad are what makes it YSAC material.
The ridiculousness of the photo leads me to believe ‘back problems’ = Vicodin.
I got 99 problems but a back ain’t one.
I’m really sorry, I’ve tried to avoid this all day, but it’s almost 4 o’clock, which is sillytime and I *have* been very restrained, and all day I’ve had an inside-head voice yelling out:
Mater? I ‘ardly know ‘er!!
*ahem* Sorry. I occasionally did this in Latin at school, too… that and proclaim ‘vescere bracis meis!’
Love the “Cars” reference!
“She only likes me fer my body …”
Maybe it’s one of those post-modern ‘meta’ things that’s so popular nowadays?