YSaC, Vol. 610: Housing carousing.
There’s never a shortage of crazy when it comes to housing and roommate ads on Craigslist. Here’s a small sampler of folks who are offering free or low-cost roommate situations — but of course, there’s always a catch, isn’t there?
Free room to a stripper
I wonder if this will work. I own a 2 bedroom townhouse. My roommate just moved out, and I really dont need to get any money out of the extra room. So I will give it away to a stripper. I know you dancers are down on your luck and need a helping hand. No physical interaction is required. I just live a boring life and would like to have a stripper hanging around my place. I’m 35 and work as an accountant (see? doesnt that sound boring?).
Well, that’s not so bad. I wonder if this guy thinks that strippers walk around naked in their platform shoes all day long, swinging mindlessly from the load-bearing support joists? ‘Cause in my mind, accountants walk around all day wearing their pocket protectors and the glasses with the tape on the nosepiece. Sounds hot, doesn’t it?
But of course, there’s more ads like this …
I didn’t get the title for this one, but the ad itself isn’t subtle:
This apartment is 90 years old, with tons of historic charm. It’s big, and artistically decorated. I live here alone, and have done so ever since my GF left me for my best friend. I have one room free, and am looking for a female roommate. I do better with women around. You have your own bathroom, your own room, come and go as you please…
Rent free….
All you have to do is give me one blow job a day, no more, no less. Nothing romantic. Just that. And only that.
Oh, gosh, is that all? That’s almost not even creepy. No, wait, yes it is. Good try at playing the sympathy “my girlfriend left me for my best friend” card, though.
And just in case there’s any guys out there looking for a questionable housing situation for little to no money …
$250 1 Bedroom for rent (Male roommate ONLY please)
If you are interested, please E-Mail with your NAME, AGE, & PHONE NUMBER: E-mail to: XXXXXXXXXXXX@Yahoo.com
I am looking for roomates who is interested in renting out a room with me. Please allow me to intorduce myself.
My name is Daniel!! I live in a 2 Bedroom Apartment in [very expensive location]. Normally rent is $250.00, but I lowering it to the first two roommates who moves in by [date]. The rent for this room will be ONLY $175.00 a month and this also includes ALL utilities. So it’s $175.00 Flat a month! I am looking for SERIOUS roommates.
This ad is SERIOUS, so please reply if your serious and can ACCEPT all the rules & guidlines!I am looking for only GUY roommates, between the ages of 18-30. I am very strick, but I do have rules & guidelines you MUST follow, in order to move in, but its up to you wheather you can handle the rules and guidelines and take this amazing deal of renting a room for $175.00 a month!
I am renting out 1 bedroom for $175.00, but like I said, I have rules…
Here are some of the rules!!
1. You must obey all rules in the house. If not, you will be spanked. Recieveing a spanking will help you learn your leasons from not breaking anymore rules. (must agree to get spanked when rules are broken) You will be getting a spanking just for discipline.
2. All roommates, MUST wear regular underwear briefs. Roommates CANNOT wear boxers or boxer-briefs, but only to wear regular underwear briefs. (if you wear boxers or boxer briefs, you MUST switch. If you choice NOT to switch, you will be getting spanked. till you choice to switch)
3. All roommates must respect each other.
4. Rent must be paid on time.
5. Rooms and the house have to be clean. (pick up after yourself)
6. MORE RULES BUT WE CAN DISCUSS THAT LATER…These are just some of the rules, and if you want to live in a nice house, but can handle my rules, and handle getting a spanking when I say you deserve one, then e-mail me. REMEMBER, $175.00 RENT ONLY….
If you are interested, please contact me. I live in a great neighborhood.
The Community Amenities include,
[blah blah blah — boring and longwinded stuff edited by drmk]IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, PLEASE CALL ME OR E-MAIL ME. (Please only serious roommates)
If you are interested, please E-Mail with your NAME, AGE, & PHONE NUMBER: E-mail to: XXXXXXXXXXXX@Yahoo.com
Ah, the spanking is just for discipline, then? Not because you get any satisfaction out of it whatsoever? And let me guess — you’re not going to randomly come up with new “rules” that your roommates will break — like, “No using the phone on Tuesdays! Time for a spanking!” No, of course not.
And wait a minute — it’s a two bedroom apartment, but you’re looking for two tighty-whitey wearing roommates for $175 each, instead of 1 for $250? Or are you looking for just one? Argh — subject-verb agreement is your friend!
Can I just pay the $250 and not take the spankings? The $75 savings really isn’t worth that much to me.
Thanks, Corinna and Courtney!
The first is hilarious – he should try offering a hooker on the street $10 (works out to $300 a month) and see what she says.
The second is just creepy as all hell, unless it’s meant to be an ad for d/s in which case…it’s still creepy as all hell.
Am puzzling over how landlord #1 believes that “no physical interaction is required” given his, um, other requirement. I think maybe he’s doing it wrong.
I’m guessing it has something to do with a vacuum cleaner.
THANK you! I could have sworn I was the only one that noticed that.
Oh — I see. Those are two different ads — not by the same person! I didn’t make that clear enough.
Ah, so much for my reading comprehension. Thanks for clearing that up!
If it helps Llamanun, I understood the seperation.
Then again, I’m used to it. My sister likes to change topics mid-sentence. You get used to deciphering when a subtle, yet new topic jumps into the fray.
Mine does that, too. I don’t know why she…
Oh, look! Peanut brittle!
BANANA PEEL! Wheeeeeeee!
It really annoys me when people switch gears in the middle of their…ooo look a rainbow!
For some reason I can’t get a certain song out of my head. I think the title is, “When I touch you I think about myself.”
[corey]
“When I think about you I touch myself,” from “I Touch Myself,” by the Divinyls. Ca. 1989.
[/corey]
I think both of these versions might apply to all of these ads, variously.
My Brother-in-law had two versions of Divinyls song that he used to sing when it hit the radio. One is the one I typed above, and the other is: “When I think about me I touch myself.”
And yes, he’s extremely gay.
I’ve known some narcissists who probably go with version two.
I noticed that, too. No physical interaction … but you have to give blowjobs?
Also, free rent in exchange for sexual favors … I think our brilliantly boring accountant is mistaking strippers for hookers.
EDIT: Oh, wait, they’re different ads. Less funny, but still!
I know — it would have been way better if they WERE one ad.
Sadly, I can’t lie and pretend they were. I mean, I COULD, but I can’t.
You know what I mean.
It sounds like “no physical interaction” landlord and “gimmie a hummer” landlord are different, from two different ads.
You can see the evolution of Sparky in these.
In Phase 1 he is delusional, but sounds mostly harmless. Of course, there have been countless interviews with the neighbors of serial killers who said, “He was so quiet…”
In Phase 2 his stripper girl, sick of paying her daily “rent”, has fled from his home like it was on fire, running into the arms of his “best friend”, that guy down the hall who gives him a nod sometimes and once held the elevator for him.
Fed up with the flighty whims of women, Sparky decides to play the other side of the fence in Phase 3. He adopts a strict totalitarian regime that quickly earns him the nickname, “el Presidente Sparky”.
I can’t wait for Phase 4, when the police show up to investigate the “bad smell” coming from his apartment.
Is Phase 4 also the “Acid Tub” phase? Or are we starting to get into Phase 5 there?
Depends on if he wants to get his security deposit back.
ITYM “Spanky.”
And the full title is “Not-So-Benevolent-Dictator-Of-This-House Spanky,” thankyouverymuch.
For failure to use the proper title, you will receive a spanking.
Assume the position!
Sure thing, Spar… I, mean, “Spanky”. Just stand in this minnie poddle and hold this exposed wire for a second, will you, sugar?
*checks Tenant’s Rights, sub-heading Rent Reductions, sub-paragraph Spankings* Looks like Sparky read the rule book correctly!
Man… my roommate blows.
Dammit, TM! I think I scalded my sinuses with coffee. Now everything will smell like Cafe Bustelo for the rest of the day.
Yeah. And paying the rent every month totally sucks.
Niiiiiiice!
Bad pron name
The Rent Man Cometh
is that a re-make of
The Rent Man Cumeth (1978)?
…
And here I’m paying $800 for 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room without any spankings.
I’m getting ripped off. 🙁
Most people usually charge extra for the spankings. I don’t think it’s considered “normal wear and tear”.
He probably pro-rated the average expected spankings into the rent.
By the looks of it, he must be charging $50 a month for the spanking services.
“Sparky and the Monthly Spanking Service” is my nomination for Band Name Of The Day.
I need a room to rent, let’s see: Change professions, or invest in tons of mouthwash, soap and personal wipes or change sex and wear briefs with corporal punishment as a bonus… I choose…. door number 8 please. Oh look, it’s a roommate who constantly writes bad ads on craigslist…. shoot me please.
OP #1: “I am so socially inept when it comes to girls that this is the smoothest move I can imagine.”
OP #2: “I am so socially inept when it comes to girls that I’m trying this in a desperate bid to not die a total virgin. It’s not intercourse, but it is oral sex.”
OP# 3: “I am so far in the closet I’m actually in the next apartment.”
Lola, he’s so far in the closet he’s seeing lamp posts.
He’s so far in the closet he’s in Narnia.
Lamp posts? Heck, now that you put it that way, I’m pretty sure he’s shipping out on the Dawn Treader as we write. Sailors, you know. (“In the navy …”)
My comment was for those who didn’t get HHNF’s “lamp post” reference. Which includes myself.
Word has it, he switched ships in Casablanca, Morocco and is now a buoy boy on the Tighty Whitey Tramp Steamer. I hear he runs a very strick ship.
As Eric Massa once said*, “I and 10,000 seaman can’t be wrong.”
*sorta
“Tramp steamer” being, in this case, particularly appropriate.
So true. I would wager that Freud is spinning in his grave with all the innuendo running rampant here today.
Mudslinger, one and sometimes more of those ‘seaman’ are almost always right. Especially when you really, really don’t want them to be.
HHNF: yeah…once you get 10,000 of them together…the seamen all look like one big fat Cthulhu seaman with a barnacle up his ass.
(corey)“I would wager that Freud is spinning in his grave”….
Freud was cremated. (/corey)
Not sure what the equivalent would be. “I would wager that Freud’s ashes are going all snow-globey”?
By ‘snow globe’ I’m sure you’re referring to your mother’s breasts, even though you have repressed your memories of them.
HHNF, sometimes a sno-globe is just a sno-globe.
unless it is a bobblehead not.a.lion sno-globe cheese head fountain
I was wondering if Caspian et al. will encounter him on their way to the Last Sea, it might explain why the seawater is suddenly sweet.
Maybe he’s a flying hazard to Eustice and Jill on their to Narnia from Aslan’s Country!
Mini ash tornado?
“I would wager that somebody is snorting Freud’s ashes right now.”
The best part about OP2’s plan is that once he’s gotten the BJ, he can evict his tennant if he doesn’t like the service.
The ad does say “come and go as you please”.
*Bu-dum Ching*
OP#1 – “I watch too much pron and think this is the way you meet girls.”
OP#2 – “Hillary’s away a lot.”
OP#3 – “I’ve been banned by court order from being within two hundred and fifty yards of any school.”
OP#3 – is so far in the closet that he’s having adventures in Narnia
Closets and wardrobes are NOT the same thing. *sniff*
When I first read “a spanking will help you learn your leasons” in #3, I thought the poster meant “lessons”, but now I think maybe he meant “lesions”.
I think roommate #2 will be getting the lesions.
Uh. I didn’t know paint strippers were into giving blow-jobs.
I’ve met some strippers *onslaught of bad jokes* and all this guy really needs in his life are a few fatherless children, shady boyfriends from work and drugs running through his house. He could just convert his apartment into the welfare office.
He’s been watching too much TV — unrealistic expectations doesn’t begin to capture it.
In reality, she’ll be leaving for work before he gets home, so he will be missing those key evening visit sessions. No, they’ll be having those at 3am when her and her entourage arrive to continue the party. Imagine how much fun it will be for him with three or four belligerent drunks in the front room eating his food, drinking his booze, and laughing at him until somewhere around 7am, by which time he’ll have to leave for work. He’ll have nothing to worry about, his stuff will be in good hands while he’s not there. Yeah, right.
He can probably say goodbye to his complete ABBA album collection too; while his precious minnie poddle Tootsie will be shotgunning some schwag with Roscoe the pimp.
Was that RACIST or was I just over-thinking?!?!?
I don’t think we implied any particular ethnicity. Although, if it makes for more jokes, we can.
So then Roscoe is okay? GR8!
I don’t think he’s strick at all. I think the roommate will be strick with the spankings and, you know, shame.
So if the stripper roommate gives me a bad blowjob, I get to spank her? Did I get that right?
*pulls out Cat Math calculator*
Only is she’s not wearing tighty-whiteys. Or you are wearing them and she has on boxers. Or boxer briefs. Possibly made of tin foil. Or neither one of you have underwear on but are wearing sporty party hats.
Wait a second…
*shakes Cat Math calculator*
Damn it!
If she put tighty-whiteys on, but then puts boxers on her head you enter a self-canceling spanking situation.
I think the only thing you can do then is provide her with oral sex while spanking yourself.
Best. Party. Ever.
Where did you say this advertiser was located?
HHNF, do you want to drive, or is it my turn?
Road Trip!
I’ve got the rum!
I’ll drive! Volvo wagons are teh best!
Rum: check
I’ll get the drugs and costumes….why are you looking at me like that?
No reason … but I now have a guess where the money I loaned you went …
Lola, please don’t send Tony again. I…I’ll get the money. I have some of it. if I put on this squirrel costume and hang out on Main and 11th, I’m sure I can pay you back tomorrow. Anything, Lola, just not Tony. My bunnies still won’t come out form under the couch after that last visit.
Who had the squirrel costume last?
Oh, fedge. I can’t even remember. I’ll have to boil it in bleach.
HHNF- Just give Tony the blowjob and no one gets hurt.
Oh, yeah, except your soul…
Hahahahaha! I don’t know why that’s so funny, but I can’t stop laughing.
This entire post is just ripe with perverted jokes for the picking and misconstruing. I see that Graham, Lola and I have influenced drmk well.
How much misconstruing can there be with “I’ll rent you a room if you pay for it in blowjobs.”?
Other than maybe: “Sure, I’d be happy to inflate your raft for you.”
I will say the open solicitation of prostitution is a refreshing change from the skeevy, barely-veiled innuendo that CraigsList is known for.
I can picture the hamster wheel turning in his brain;
“I’ve got a knob that needs polishing and this empty room that’s just going to waste…”
*feeble lightbulb flickers on*
Is that hamster wheel 2 x 2 x 4 and missing the wheel part? Or just missing the scruples part?
It’s more of a hamster rhombus.
I love that word rhombus. It’s so much more user-friendly than parallelogram.
Maybe a hamster Klein bottle.
Yeah..a Klein bottle wearing CFM pumps and hanging out under the lamp post on the Möbius Strip.
I just love doing the rhombus to flamingo music.
She strips to Moby?
LOL…her favorite song is “Why Does My Self-Esteem Feel So Bad?”
Mobius stripper = also a contortionist, and able to twist around and … do certain things for an additional fee.
Rhombus pi R good, but better with hard sauce* rather than whipped cream.
*[corey]hard sauce is fun, take cream and beat lightly with confectioner’s sugar to beginnings of soft peaks, then add apropos distilled spirit, rum or bourbon being classical. Then beat to medium stiff peaks. Dresses up a plain slice of pund cake or pie like going out of style.[/corey]
CapnMac: [corey] you’re getting awfully demanding there with that hard sauce big boy. First you beat it twice (into various states of stiffness) and then make it dress up as a slice of pound cake (leaving *ahem* pie out of it)!?!?
You’re HARD CORE and STRICK! Have I got an apartment deal for you…
[/corey]
All this beating, whipping, soft peaks and dressing up is making me want pie real bad.
Or be very bad to pie. There’s a apple brown betty that’s been looking at me funny…
Oh yeah baby, that’s it. Whip that hard cream. Ohhh yeah. Now, use the spatula and spread it on the cake. Yes, spread it slowly. Now, cut me a slice of that cake. Yeah, that’s it, nice and big…
*OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM*
Aww damn, I just spilled my Bacontini everywhere.
Apple Brown Betty is so my alternate-universe foldout name.
Why do I suddenly feel as if I walked in on something private, Taco?
I create feelings in others that they themselves don’t understand.
That would be… confusion or indigestion?
‘Cause I sorta understand both. Maybe.
Funny…cause I was thinking…panic.
Oh, Taco, you always get my insides roiling and my heart burning. I know it’s unhealthy, but I keep coming back for more.
A rather accurate portrayal of my relationship with Mexican food too, actually.
Refrigerator.
“I see that Graham, Lola and I have influenced drmk well.”
Where the hell is Graham, anyway? He is going to be kicking himself if he misses out today.
Unless…
Maybe he’s auditioning stripper roommates.
I think so. Haven’t heard anyhting from him in ages, aside from here, and even then, he doesn’t seem to be at 100% Graham-ness. Hm.
Probably busy. He got a shiny new important job.
… Or maybe he is the “Rm & bd 4 BJ” guy, and also “auditioning.” Didn’t he move fairly recently? Now we know why he hasn’t been around. He’s been getting that roommate situation settled.
He already has roommates, and he’s pretty settled, last I spoke with him. I wonder if they wear boxers or briefs?
If they wear briefs, I’d offer even money on them soon calling him “El Presidente Deadpool.”
Duct Tape Briefs. They chafe.
Taking them off must be hell.
On the bright side, no more paying for bikini waxes.
I miss you guys. 🙁
We miss you, too, G!
I miss you, too!
I miss telling you guys to
GET A FREAKIN’ ROOM!
Oh and Graham’s witty rep-partay!
OK Graham, you know the first rule of ySac Club: You Don’t Show Up on Stripper, Blowjob, Spanking Roommates Day and say “I Miss You Guys.”
The second rule of ySac Club is: There is no ySac club.
The third rule of ySac Club is: The bands at ySac club always have stupid names.
The fourth rule of ySac Club (strangely enough) is: All commenters, MUST wear regular underwear briefs. Commenters CANNOT wear boxers or boxer-briefs, but only to wear regular underwear briefs. (if you wear boxers or boxer briefs, you MUST switch. If you choice NOT to switch, you will be getting spanked. till you choice to switch)
The fifth rule of ySac Club (even more strangely) is: Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
The sixth rule of ySac Club is: If this is your first night on ySac, you have to comment.
The seventh rule of ySac Club is: No identification of self or mission. No interference with the social development of said planet. No references to space or the fact that there are other worlds or civilizations.
Plus some more, too many blah blah blah.
I’ll take a stabby-stab at guessing why Knob #2’s girlfriend left him. His Valentine’s Day card to her contained the poem:
Baby,
all you have to do
is give me
one
blow job a day,
no more,
no less.
Nothing romantic.
Just that.
And only that.
Love,
Dick
<3
“…There is NO Rule Six!”
No pooftahs Bruce!
“No not drinking in rooms before Lights Out” too (aside: Crack Two, Bruce!)
Are there….
too many to list?
I think we”ll skip from 5 to 34.
Nope. Not too many. Unless one is a stuck-up silly-beak.
“This is the wattle/Symbol of out Land,/You can put it in a bottle/or hold it in your hand.”
Amen, Crack Two!
“Helping hand” indeed.
Is it just me, or is today’s bonus Craigslist ad particularly appropriate? I’m guessing Sparky the Accountant will probably want to pick up the used stripper pole.
(“Blew out” the implant, heh heh…)
Likewise, I noticed the potential connection as well …
That may have been on purpose.
Blew Out the Implant at the 40Watt 2Nite!!11!!
(or, should that be “Blü Øut the Implant!”?)
I actually think the first one has the whiff of a rom-com to it. Perhaps this ad was placed not by the accountant, but his n’er-do-well friends who, seeking to relieve him of his boring environs, go for the old “live-in stripper” ploy.
Of course, the woman who answer the ad isn’t really a stripper, but a gorgeous, down-on-her-luck artist, who fills the accountant’s life with excitement and whimsy — at least until they begin to fall in love, when all sorts of hilarity ensues!
Or not.
But she has to pretend to be a stripper so she can get the room, and he has to catch her and discover she’s not actually a stripper at all, and hilarity ensues.
You guys have so much faith in humanity! I love it!
Oh, I know! Since she’s an artist, maybe she’s actually a paint stripper and exaggerates to get the room, and then the guy walks in on her stripping paint at his friend’s house when she’s supposed to be at work stripping.
In coming back to my desk, it just now occurs to me that OP #3 might be some kind of revenge setup, e.g., someone hates their ex-roommate or soon-to-be ex-roommate, Daniel, who is possibly homophobic and/or deeply closeted, possibly deeply and repressively religious as well, and have chosen this venue to wreak revenge on the unsuspecting, if perhaps not exactly innocent, Daniel, probably hoping he’ll have an inbox full of submissively-posed guys in tighty-whitey pics that will tempt and torture him.
Just a thought.
Seems like somebody *cough* Lola, *cough* has put a lot of thought into this.
It makes me ashamed of all the time I spent dancing around in my tighty-whities singing about how I love them.
A lot of thought? Well, I’d returned from a dept. birthday party, so let’s just call it “inspired by lots of good coffee and a cupcake.”
I’ll take the free room! Ever since the housing market crashed (and that minor incident involving the Dawson’s cat, a laser-guided bomb, and a puppet at the local mall), it’s been hard for me finding work as a paint stripper. I used up almost all of my savings, and I’m down to picking change off the floor.
Oh, waitaminnit. Not that kind of stripper? But I’m the Big Dutch Boy, I rap and breakdance while paint stripping! Oh, waitaminnit. Not that kind of dancing?
—
As for the blow job ad, I’m reminded of what a friend told me when she was asked for a blow job, and the guy would give her $5. She pursed her mouth, went “Foo!” and then “There! You owe me $5.”
—
As for the third ad, what if I want to do the spanking? Especially if I have a voice like Edna from The Incredibles and love repeating “There! I ate your piece!”
“No capes!”
“There! I ate your cape!”
You know, it’s posts like today’s that lift my ‘happily married homeowner with common sense’ status from mundane to epic.
Though I do have this strange urge to buy my husband some tighty whities…
Best.String.Ever.
*wiping tears*…whooo…
I agree. It’s nice to know there are other people with the same weird thoughts as me… o.o
It’s not weird thoughts. It’s thoughts that I wish I could express in my real job but can’t because I’d get fired.
I got to do something the other day that I have been wanting to do for years. It never fails, on a holiday that normal banks are closed but we are open,I get about ten million people who call to see if we are open. Like I would traipse into work for the sheer hell of it. I was helping on on a Saturday, a day we are never open, because my branch was participating in a program to help students fill out financial aid forms. Someone call and asked The Question. I got to say NO. It felt so good!
Now I kinda want to break in on the weekends just so I can tell people we are not open. I’m pretty sure that’s a felony, though.
I’ll do you one better: I got written up for not coming into work on a day when the governor declared a state of emergency. It seems we were considered essential personnel… except that my job at the time was to answer incoming home-delivery questions about the newspaper. On a day when there was NO home delivery. Yeah, I’m gonna come in just to tell people they ain’t getting their newspaper but if they could venture out six feet of snow to the nearest store, they could buy a copy.
I left the company not too long after that.
“Strick” is nagging at me.
If it is some perverse conjugation (NPI, for a change), which word might it be?
Ok, I know some hard Corps people, in “The Old Guard” (aka Third herd) who are proud to be “strack.” But even they know the term is a construct.
Oh well, I’ll just toss this in with those who assign “whatever” to the differences between “duct” and “duck” (which probably goes in the “tales from the office” folder on people wanting “duck repair”).
A farmer visits an engineer, carrying a large burlap sack.
“I hear you fancy city folk can fix all sorts of things.” he says. The engineer replies in the affirmative and the farmer reaches into his sack, pulling out a large white duck.
“I need you to fix my duck, he broke his beak on a rock.” The engineer examines the bird’s beak and discovers a small crack in it.
“I think I have just the thing for it, an experimental biodegradable adhesive. It’s very expensive, though.”
The farmer just smiles.
“That’s okay, you can just put it on his bill.”
*pause for groans*
I now return you to the regularly scheduled snark already in progress.
I’ll supply you with at least one:
*groan*
yah. alduce me to introlow myself. and what if i want a bj AND NOT A SPANKING???? i am still laughin.
I’m 6’2″ and 220 pounds. I can take a spanking if you can take a punch, Roomy.
I’m 5’3″ and it’s nobody’s business how much I weigh. I’ve got a baseball bat and a stun gun, so I better be getting the bigger room; ‘K, sunshine?
I wanted to start an anonymous Gravatar with the ugliest bucktoothed woman I could find and make a post pretending to respond to the BJ ad, but then decided it wasn’t worth the trouble.
Would’ve been funny,though.
Maybe not worth it, but I like the way you’re thinking.
Tacowagic –MmMmMmagic. Whatever. Punchity punch. Yeah. Whoop. 8) Honestly it was very funny and so wrong it made it right. You are close to elebenty-hunnerd punches now, I think.
Thank Windrose. I’m one punch closer to that coffee. 🙂
What’s the going rate on blow jobs? I mean, that has got to be one hell of an apartment.
Alter boy: “Two snickers and a coke.”
That would be “Altar.”
I wasn’t even drunk… Crikey!